To Be Happy || Sweet Pea
request: Pretty hurts with pea?
requested by: anonymous
a/n: Yo, thanks for making me cry while I listened to this song over and over! lol. I hope you guys like it. xx, aubree
warnings: parent being “mean”, insecure reader, cussing.
word count: 563
(gif not mine)
Mama said, you’re a pretty girl
What’s in your head it doesn’t matter
Brush your hair, fix your teeth
What you wear is all that matters
Y/N sat in her room crying as her mother’s words burned into her brain. Not good enough. She had told her she had made the cheer team, but all her mother wanted to know was if she beat Cheryl for the spot of captain. All her life, Y/N had grown up in a household where she had to look a certain way, act a certain way, but she somehow never fit the mold her mother tried to squeeze her into.
Plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far
And you break when the paper signs you in the dark
You left a shattered mirror
And the shards of a beautiful girl
Y/N paced the room before she moved in front of the mirror the sat on her dresser against the wall. She stared at herself long enough for her reflection to become distorted. Her mascara was now on her cheeks in runny streaks. She wiped her lipstick off with a tissue. Her y/e/c eyes now red and blotchy from crying for so long. Anger suddenly filled her body as she punched her reflection and the mirror shattered.
She wiped some of the mascara off, grabbed her coat, and ran out of the house. She went to the one spot she knew she’d be alone. There was a lookout of Sweetwater River just passed the train tracks on the Southside. She’d found it when she was fourteen and had run away from some argument her and her mother were having. She had only seen one person there before and she wouldn’t mind seeing him tonight.
She sobbed to herself as she sat on a boulder near the edge of the lookout. Tears flowed consistently down her cheeks with each new wave of sadness. The gravel behind her crunched and she turned her head to investigate.
“You look like shit.” Sweet Pea said when he came into view.
“Thanks.” Y/N rolled her eyes. They had never actually spoken before and the first thing he says to her was ‘you look like shit’, typical.
“Sorry. I just mean you look like you’ve had a pretty shit day.” He walked up to her, “Can I sit?”
“Pretty shit life is more like it.” Y/N moved over so he could sit down.
“How shit could your life be, princess?”
Y/N just looked out towards the river, “More than you think it could be.”
When you’re alone all by yourself
And you’re lying in your bed
Reflection stares right into you
Are you happy with yourself
They had talked for a while. Well, she talked and he listened, something she learned he was really good at. Y/N told him about the impossible standards her mother made her live up to.
“God, she told me I should get a freaking nose job the other day. I’m sixteen.” Y/N aggressively wiped away another tear that had fallen on her face.
“From the looks of it, it’s your soul that needs a surgery.” He placed his thumb on her chin so she’d look at him, “Are you happy with yourself?”
Y/N stared into his eyes, “I think I could be pretty cool. If only my mom would let me be myself. I’m not some pageant queen or a cheerleader. I hate being those things. I hate being just some pretty girl. Pretty fucking hurts.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Pea’s thumb ran across her cheek as he caught a tear, “Then fuck her. You need to be comfortable in your own skin. What is your biggest aspiration in life?”
Y/N looked away for a moment, then back into his eyes, “To be happy.”
“Then let’s go get you a big ass bowl of happy.”