what are ur hedcannons for keeping up with the waynes ? i think u have made a few post about it but im curious ahah
(I don’t think I have but I am more than willing to jump on this bandwagon)
The show starts as a cover because too many people are asking questions (“How come your dead son Jason is picking up your youngest child from school on a motorbike wearing swimtrunks?”). They have to work extra hard to try and be normal… and they just end up incredibly dysfunctional and it ends up helping them because the Waynes are a goddamn mess but the Bats obviously have their shit together.
Dick Grayson is hardcore thirsted after by everyone (everyone) and is highly sexualized in all the promos and stuff. Dick is incredibly uncomfortable with this, he know he’s handsome and he doesn’t mind attention for it, but please he’s not an object to be lusted after. Bruce comes down hard on the network and they make it more tame, still doesn’t stop fangirls and boys from following Dick. Lucky for him he has a protective sibling or two who will always protect their big brother’s virtue.
Jason is in the show… but also not. Like he’s just not acknowledged. No one knows who he is, he’s just always at the Manor, people call him ‘lil brother’ and ‘Jason’ and 'Todd’, no one seems weirded out by his presence. The camera crew asks how Jason Todd, who was declared dead like 6 years ago??, is still alive. The kids pretend they don’t know who they’re talking about. One episode the crew calls in an exorcist because they’re convinced it’s Jason’s ghost haunting the mansion. Jason makes ghost noises from behind the grandfather clock. If you listen closely, you can hear Tim, Steph and Dick laughing loudly in the other room.
Tim Drake is just that beloved character who is a huge mess but, bless, he’s trying. He’s comedy relief in a way that’s really sad and makes you feel guilty. Tim really considers himself the most normal out of all the kids, he thinks this’ll be a breeze. Little does he realize that staggering around in Superboy boxers, trying to hide the coffee machine because Dick is going to take it away is actually pretty damn south of normal. Or healthy. After every episode, 3 new Tim Drake memes are created, he is an internet sensation. He takes it in stride and tries not to pretend that his former reputation as the Golden Perfect Wayne child has not been shattered.
Cass just ignores the cameras and questions at all times. She doesn’t even acknowledge them at all, just continues to go about her day. No one knows anything about her, she’s quiet, her friends are mostly within the Wayne sphere of influence, she doesn’t appear to engage in any wild crazy teen behavior. She is an enigma. Cameras try and catch her doing whatever it is she does, Cass just smiles and disappears. Her only interaction is to inform the camera crew when her brothers are being particularly ridiculous.
Stephanie just kind of, shoves her way into the show. She probably tries the hardest to engage the audience. She knows the impact the show is having and she understands what the people want to see so she acts as the unofficial 'host’ of the show and introduces people and dares the boys to do crazy stunts or starts a fight and lets the crew catch the family in all their dysfunctional glory. She honestly should be getting paid for all the great contributions she’s made to this show.
Prior to the show, Damian had the reputation of a sulky, but put together young man who is trying to live up to his great father’s name. Once the show airs they learn he’s an obnoxious little brat who swears like a sailor and is scarily accurate when throwing kitchen knives. Tim is thanking the heavens people finally see Damian for the demon that he is. Instead he’s lauded as the 'cute lil naughty boy' and still fawned over. Damian has a special segment where he talks about his animals and encourages people to adopt/donate to animal shelters. It actually really beneficial and the other kids start promoting their own charities.
Bruce is just off to the side, glaring at his paperwork as he tries to get something done. The children are more obnoxious than normal, no secret identity is worth this pain. He can’t wait for the end of the season so he can cancel the show. Damian has stolen a box of matches with plans to set Tim’s sleeve on fire while he’s asleep and see how long he notices. One cameraman coughs.
“Uh Mister Wayne? Sir? Don’t you think you should do something about that?” Bruce glares, he has barely gotten any sleep since this started and what little peace of mind he still possessed has shriveled and died an agonizing death.
“As long as those cameras are on, they’re your problem” In the background, Tim is screaming and yelling in several language. It took him 34.8 seconds to wake up.