and they have one date and everyone goes crazy about it

If The Marauders were Still Alive (headcannons)

(In response to an ask)

-If they were still alive…

•When Harry got his Hogwarts letter James immediately ripped it open without even showing it to Harry because he was just so excited for his son. Without even acknowledging Harry’s presence or Lily’s laughter, he just sits cris-crossed on the floor making little comments about Harry’s school supply list.

“What? You don’t have to read {insert book title}. It was the best! Don’t worry Harry, you can borrow my old copy, though it may have some old doodles in it from Sirius-”

•When Harry is really young he thinks that they have a dog because whenever Sirius is over he turns into his Animagus form and he’s over at the Potters’ so much that it’s kinda hard not to think that.

And James, Lily, Remus and Peter go along with it and one dayJames brings home a bright pink glittery dog collar and asks little Harry to put it on ‘Snuffles’. Harry does it and even though Sirius hates it, he keeps it on because he loves Harry so much (Remus like it too, but for *coughs* other reasons).

•When Harry turns eleven and has to go to Diagon Alley, It’s not just James and Lily that take him shopping, it’s the whole damn Marauders squad. They’re just casually walking through the streets and suddenly someone starts clapping for them, and then more people join in and it turns into just the whole street clapping for the Marauders because most of them remember hearing tales about what the group did, and many parents were friends of theirs.

Needlessly to say James and Sirius take a dramatic bow while Remus and Lily are looking at each other like

“These are the people we chose to marry”

And Peter is just laughing along and buying Harry a chocolate frog off of a street witch while Harry asks him why all those people are clapping for them. Peter just chuckles and goes “We had a bit of a reputation at school”

•When Harry goes into Madam Malkin’s and sees Draco, James immediately steps in front of his son as if to protect him.

“What’s wrong, Dad?”

“There’s a Malfoy there… can’t mistake him. I remember his father-”

But then Lily comes over and whispers in his ear

“Remember Sirius’s parents? They were awful people but look how Sirius turned out?” They look out the shop window to see Sirius with his arm around Remus’s shoulders sitting on a bench in conversation with Peter.

“You’re right”

And James himself introduces Harry to Draco, and the two immediately hit it off.

•Just before Harry is about to leave for Hogwarts, the Marauders get together (without Lily, because she’d definitely disapprove) and tell Harry all the stories they can. Harry just sits there in wonder like

‘How will I ever live up to that’

But at the end of the night, James goes and gets a box out of his room and puts it in Harry’s hands.

“This is yours now. Use it well.”

Harry opens the box and it’s the invisibility cloak. Remus then takes the Marauder’s Map out and shows Harry how to use it, then hands it over (“use it responsibly”)

•When Harry comes home for winter break he talks about how great Gryffindor is and his best friends Ron and Hermione, but also about Draco from Slytherin and how he has “the prettiest hair and his eyes sparkle-” and Remus and Sirius just give each other knowing looks.

And he’s about to say something else after talking about his classes but hesitates; everyone asks him about it, but he denies everything.

•He goes back to school after winter break and some time after his second Quidditch match as the youngest seeker in a century, one morning at breakfast he gets a howler.

He knows fully well what it is because he grew up in a house with the Marauders who liked to send them back and forth for fun-

“WILL YOU PASS THE SALT?”

“I CAN’T THROW PETER THAT FAR!”

But anyway, he gets one and looks at his friends and then at Draco across the hall because he’s absolutely terrified an doesn’t know what he did. Eventually (with much convincing) he opens it.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU MADE THE QUIDDITCH TEAM?

YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE SO PROUD OF YOU HOLY SHI-” and then it’s Lily’s voice.

“Harry, sweetie we’re so proud of you! You must’ve gotten some of James’s talent-” (you can hear James going crazy in the background; knocking stuff over and generally screaming like a psychopath) “where James got his, I have no idea”

And then it’s just Remus, Sirius and Peter going crazy (yes, even Moony).

When it finally ends, the great hall just sits stunned for a moment, before Dumbledore starts slow clapping and everyone joins in. All the teachers are just rolling their eyes because they definitely remember the Marauders. About 5 seconds later the Potters’ owl flies in with a new Nimbus 2000 and a note that says ‘Don’t tell your mother’

•Harry bringing Draco home in their 5th year to meet his parents over Christmas break, and when he goes home Harry has to remind his parents and uncles that “No, we aren’t dating! That’s absolutely absurd!” And everyone just looking at each other like ‘yeah, sure kid’

•Harry choosing to be a pro Quidditch player as his profession after admitting to his parents that he snuck out one night with Ron, Hermione and Draco to go try out for Puddlemore United because they had just lost their seeker and he made the team.

And James and Sirius crying with pride because their little Harry is going to be a world famous Quidditch player.

“There won’t be a person alive who doesn’t know his name” James said while ruffling his son’s hair.

•Harry in his 6th year asking Remus when he knew he was gay and coming out to Moony and Padfoot as Bi and both of them going

“Yeah, we know”

And Harry just looking so surprised and then telling them that he and Draco started dating in October and that he wanted to have him for Christmas but didn’t want to tell his dad why, and James (who was under the invisibility cloak)

“Yeah, sure he can come. But no sex after 11 pm.”

And Harry screaming like a girl from surprise and then sputtering like an idiot in response to the sex comment.

•Peter taking Harry to honeydukes before he was allowed to go with his school and Peter just completely spoiling him and buying so much that they can hardly get it home.

They sneak through the house to get to Harry’s room but meet James in the middle, who of course joins them.

They open the door to Harry’s room just to find Remus and Lily sitting on the bed with the most bored expressions on their faces. Harry looks down in shame and drops all the candy on the floor, but Lily just raises an eyebrow and goes

“Well? Aren’t you going to share?” An everyone eating their fill of candy just on Harry’s bed, and Sirius taking all the good stuff and running from the room and everyone chasing him around the house.

•When Harry turns seventeen the Marauder’s teach him to become an Animagus (and get registered). James is incredibly proud when he turns out to have a stag Animagus form as well.

Draco being terrified because he walks into Harry’s room over summer break and there’s a fucking deer casually chilling on his boyfriend’s bed like what

And Ron riding on Harry’s back to make a stupidly grand entrance picking Hermione up from her house in the middle of a muggle neighborhood

•Just the Marauders being alive please and thank you

 If there was a zombie apocalypse the best place to go would be Target.

Lets look at the facts:

  • Targets have at maximum 3 windows. And those windows are also doors. Otherwise they are giant concrete cinder-blocks of prison like retail. 
  • Target is filled with things to quickly barricade those window-doors. such as entire gazebos, lawn furniture, exercise equipment, etc. 
  • From that point forward all you have to do is worry about the zombies that are inside.
  • Target has an intercom system, which if accessed by the correct people can be used to quickly spread information and mobilize people to get things done. 
  • Target has a large section of both perishable and non perishable food items. 
  • Target also has a vast entertainment section. (how many societies have collapsed due to conflict spurred by stress and boredom. HOW MANY)
  • Target’s roof can be easily accessed for surveillance, gathering of rainwater (with the many buckets and mini pools target has. and all water can be boiled in the Starbucks kitchen) and sniping.
  • Target’s insulation would make the harsh winter months significantly more bearable.
  • Before the power goes out, Target has sun lights (which is why its not sad inside like in so many other stores… cough Sears cough) so people who have SAD won’t get depressed. Also, Target is large and designed to feel homey so people wont go stir crazy as fast like they do in jails.
  • When the power goes out, Target has large industrial generators that can be turned on in emergencies like for cooking. 
  • Speaking of cooking, Target has several kitchens inside of it. And once the power goes, guess what Target also sells? Grills. 
  • Target also has a pharmacy. And medical supplies. So, people inside who need meds to function have a hell of a lot longer time to live unencumbered by their illness than they normally would. 
  • Some targets have tools–including power tools.
  • Target also has a tiny jail. For miscreants and rabble rousers.
  • Bedding. Real Bedding
  • Reliable indoor plumbing.

I think you could reasonably live for at least two years inside a Target before completely running out of anything vital– provided food is well rationed.
And even so, the only thing you’d be sending out scouts for is food. Everything else would last for ages.  

Provided that the population not exceed 200, Target would run out of these things in this order:

  1. perishable food.
  2. electricity
  3. Potable water (that doesn’t require work)
  4. Non perishable pre-made food items
  5. Non perishable food ingredients (flour, mixes, etc)

    How to survive in a Target: Action plan.

    Undoubtedly, everyone will be rushing and screaming in the Target. First someone has to break into the manager’s office and commandeer the intercom to create some organization by shouting: If you do not want to stay and survive in the Target, leave now. 

    After that’s cleared up and only interested parties and zombies are left. the barricading can begin. Once the doors and windows are sealed, the new goal is to clear the undead from the usable space.The undead can be deposited neatly outside of the truck loading dock doors.

    Then, someone needs to do inventory. For the next week or so, food needs to be arranged by date consumed and a rationing chart should be made. Same applies to medicine and medical supplies and toiletries.

    After food and water has been qualified and quantified,  remaining time should be dedicated to turning target into a large “home”, Bedding should be laid out in one area, there should be an entertainment area. There should be a separate area for children and babies. All of the clothing should be pushed to the side or placed in the storage area, so there is more livable space. 

    I’m sure people have more ideas but that’s all I’ve got.

This has been brought to you with love by,

Not gonna die. 

mike gets a video camera

some cute headcanons involving mike recording the losers!! also this is kind of got hella long so sorry haha

  • oKAY so let’s get started…

Keep reading

Guess Who’s Back

Writer - @damndescendants 

Requested - nope. Send in request!

Disclaimer - I do not own any of Descendants’ characters and/or ideas all credit goes to the creator and producers of Disney Descendants

Pairing - Harry Hook x Reader

Summary – (Y/N) is the daughter of Dr. Facilier and is one of the Villain Kids who go to Auradon but when Mal returns to the Isle she goes with Ben, Evie, Carlos, and Jay to get her back when they run into her boyfriend, Harry Hook

Warning(s) - threats, if you squint harm/harassment hinted and mentioned, protective 

Originally posted by adisneylover92things

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Every Song on Taylor Swift’s reputation

As analyzed by Time Magazine

1. “…Ready For It?”: Starting things off with a thumping bass line and rallying cry, “…Ready For It?” also offers one of Swift’s prettiest melodies. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do,” she sings sweetly before switching into her new-era rap-singing. “He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor,” she insists, name-checking a famous — and drama-filled — pairing, and setting the scene for the rest of the album’s investigation of the perils of stardom.

2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future): Swift tapped her good friend Sheeran for this slow-jam-style track, a self-reflective — and self-aware — plea to both the listener and a lover. “I wanna be your end game,” Swift sings off the top, allowing in a little vulnerability — before jumping into a rap-sung chorus. “Big reputation, you and me we got big reputations,” she chants, recognizing the baggage that her stardom brings (and name-checking the album’s title, of course). Of-the-moment rapper Future of “Mask Off” success adds in a slick verse, sticking to the love-against-the-odds theme. Swift goes on to sing she doesn’t want to be an “ex-love” and that she isn’t into the drama; it’s just her burden to bear. This is peak Swift: emotionally open, but ready and willing to have some fun with the hype around her own persona. Sheeran’s contribution comes in the form of another rap-sung verse in the same vein, seeming to reference his own relationship and the pitfalls that fame has placed in his path to love. His advice? Ignore the rumors.

3. “I Did Something Bad”: Swift knows that her critics have strong opinions about her; after all, the album is called Reputation. And in the bombastic “I Did Something Bad,” she appears to address some of the narratives that have surrounded her. “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me / So I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy,” she opens this one over a sharp string pluck. “If a man talks s–t then I owe him nothing.” Here is new-era Swift: holding her head high, unapologetic and fiercely protective of her own success. Then, a funky dubstep drop brings shades of her mega-hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” into the mix. Heavily electronically manipulated, and punctuated with a strong beat, it’s a banger of a track — and her defiant response to her detractors. “I never trust a playboy, but they love me,” she insists, stating matter of-factly that it’s best to “leave before you get left,” and hinting that maybe her splashy former relationships weren’t all they might have seemed. And then there’s the kicker: “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one,” she croons on an auto-tuned bridge. “Go ahead and light me up.” Of all the quotable lines in Swift’s oeuvre, this one is right up there at the top for its blazing imagery.

4. “Don’t Blame Me”: If you’re a fan of Avicii or Kygo’s brand of un-rushed atmospheric electro-pop, you might like the rich, vibey notes Swift brings together in “Don’t Blame Me,” a moody, dark song that starts out swinging and pretty, and builds into a gospel-backed EDM anthem. “Don’t blame me, love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right,” she sings emphatically. “Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I be using for the rest of my life.” Swift has endured criticism for her relationships: the fact that she’s in them, the fact that she sings about them. “Don’t Blame Me” could be a clapback to that criticism, reminding listeners that the heart simply wants what it wants, as her friend Selena Gomez once said.

5. “Delicate”: Swift is, appropriately enough, at her most fragile on “Delicate.” Refreshingly honest, it’s a melodic electro-ballad with a resonant refrain. “My reputation’s never been worse so, you must like me for me,” she muses, her voice a light wisp, in a wry nod to her year in the spotlight before breaking down her insecurities: “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet?” Like pretty much anyone dealing with a new crush, Swift sings of moments of doubt. Perhaps even superstars have their sore spots. She couches this sweetly uncertain song in snippets of dates — at a dive bar, in her apartment — but keeps it about her circular internal monologue, always questioning just how much her feelings are being reciprocated.

6. “Look What You Made Me Do”: Swift’s lead single — and immediate chart-topper following its release — “LWYMMD” was a shocking reintroduction to the Swift of Reputation: hard, unapologetic, focused on retribution. Step aside, “Bad Blood,” this song is much more cutting. “I’ve got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined,” she reminded her haters over a Right Said Fred sample. The propulsive beat and insistence that the old Taylor was “dead” only sharpened her point.

7. “So It Goes…”: Here, she switches things back to romance, reflecting on just how a new love interest might help her out of her fixations: “you make everyone disappear,” she explains in the moody, murky opening segment, which opens into a trap-lite chorus about getting caught up in the moment (and, of course, leaving some signature lipstick “on your face”). But for life with Swift, that’s just how it goes. “I’m yours to keep, and yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things with you,” she adds with a wink; this version of Swift has made a marked departure from her squeaky-clean roots as America’s Nashville sweetheart.

8. “Gorgeous”: Yes, that’s Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s baby daughter James opening up “Gorgeous” with a gurgle. But the rest of the song deals with adult topics. Over a bubbling, chime-like beat, Swift sings about the irresistible power of attraction — even when it’s not the best idea. “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts,” she sings with frustration. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.” Despondent, she talks of heading home to hang out with her cats — and then, with a wink, invites her object of attention to join her.

9. “Getaway Car”: Told as a dramatic story of a heist and an ill-fated love adventure over shimmering 80s-style production, “Getaway Car” is one of Swift’s most metaphor-driven tracks on the album. “We never had a shotgun shot in the dark,” she sings with a rebellious twang. “Nothing good starts in a getaway car.” Swift’s has often had its fair share of melodrama; remember “Into the Woods”? In “Getaway Car,” though, she calls herself a “traitor” who turns in her erstwhile partner in crime. Looks like Swift might be willing to flirt with the dark side, but she’s no good at following through with crimes — of the legal kind, or of the heart. Instead, she says, she takes the keys and leaves the guy stranded at a motel. It’s no happy ending, but it’s a reminder that Swift isn’t afraid to assert her independence.

10. “King of My Heart”: Taylor Swift has always been good at love songs. In “King of My Heart” she hits her sweet spot, over a synth-heavy track and strategic auto-tune assist. “I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off bein’ alone,” she starts off. But it doesn’t stay that way for long; after meeting a (evidently non-American) paramour who pursues her, the story (and the song) go straight into the romance. “You’re the one I have been waiting for,” she gushes, dissing some other guys with “their fancy cars” who didn’t quite measure up to this new interest. And yes, the character in the title is indeed the king of her heart — and body, and soul.

11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”: Although it starts off as a down-tempo, melancholy kind of tune, “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” adds in Swift’s now-rote trap-lite drop to amp up the drama on this will-we-won’t-we tale of star-crossed lovers separated by an unkind fate. “I had a bad feeling,” she suggests about the romantic interest, but she goes on to dance with him anyway; some chemistry just can’t be denied.

12. “Dress”: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Swift sings slyly on “Dress,” her most overtly sexual work yet. She wants her lover to carve his name into her bedpost; her hands shake in anticipation. A breathy, synth-y track with lots of whispery vocals, Swift is unequivocal about her interest in this person as much more than a friend. “Made your mark on me; a golden tattoo,” she sings cryptically. It’s a departure from her usually PG approach to love songs, emblematic of a Swift who’s claiming her maturity more than ever.

13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: Kicking things off with a siren sound, Swift strips it back to a stomping call-out of the haters, a giddy sister of sorts to dark lead single “Look What You Made Me Do.” “Why’d you have to rain on my parade?” she asks, her voice petulant, sneering with humor and attitude. “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling: because you break them, I have to take them away.” When she tries to go diplomatic — “forgiveness is a nice thing to do” goes one line, sung in an angelic lilt — she breaks the fourth wall with a burst of sharp laughter. Swift is no longer willing to “Shake It Off,” as she once tried to do.

14. “Call It What You Want”: Maybe the most by-the-book Swift song on Reputation, “Call It What You Want” is a slow-burning meditation on the transformative power of relationships, filled with lyrical puns: “All the liars are calling me one,” she sighs at one point. “All my flowers grew back as thorns.” But this is still a love letter, and a reminder that Swift has moved on from the fray around her so-called “reputation.” “My baby’s fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene,” she sings proudly, making it clear that the baby in question has taken her along for the ride.

15. “New Year’s Day”: Her one acoustic piano ballad on the album, “New Year’s Day” is a tender and intimate love song. The snapshots are sweet and evocative: glitter on the floor after a party, candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor, holding hands in the backseat of a taxi. “Hold on to the memories,” she repeats in the chorus, “and I will hold on to you.” Nostalgic for the moment even as it’s happening, it’s a lovely, effecting closer, letting Swift’s voice and earnest message shine without the complications of over-production. She may get her kicks with big pop anthems, but vulnerable ballads like this one are just as much a part of her musical DNA.

Lifted from Time Magazine

Undeveloped vs. developed Venus signs (relationships and love)

Aries Venus:

Undeveloped: gets very angry because of smallest things, competitive, compares themselves to their partner, easily jealous, gets offended a lot, often only wants physical affection, doesn’t want their ego to be hurt

Developed: wants the relationship to be fun, active, shows you lots of love, adventurous, open about feelings, appreciates the little things, loves to go out, shows you off, you can always talk to them

Taurus Venus:

Undeveloped: possessive, overly jealous, doesn’t talk about their emotions, high-sensitive, wants to do everything right, anxious about falling in love, very shy and reserved, fear of being rejected

Developed: most romantic person ever, wants the best for their partner, gets you gifts, shows affection a lot, always supportive, happy when with people, great people-pleaser, loves to spend time with their partner even if it’s just for napping

Gemini Venus:

Undeveloped: judging, control-freak, manipulative in a way, bad intentions, showing less to no emotion at all, you never know where you’re at with them, won’t let you talk, doesn’t really listen

Developed: funny and lively conversations, shows you the bright side of life, gives good advice, tries to be a lil more affectionate, smiles a lot and gives you positivity, is like a best friend and partner at the same time

Cancer Venus:

Undeveloped: controlling, manipulates your emotion, cry-baby, needs you a bit too much, drama queen, jealous, a bit clingy, love is “melodrama”, deeply affected/sad when something goes wrong

Developed: cares about their partner and their health, always a shoulder to lean on, gives the warmest hugs, helps you, tries to understand your opinions, just wants to spread love, shows affection a lot, romantic

Leo Venus:

Undeveloped: wants to be treated as royal, could use you for their goods, egoistic af, when their needs aren’t fulfilled prepare for fight, needs attention, fishing for compliments, doesn’t really care about how their partner feels, clingy

Developed: treats YOU like royality, supports you and your goals, no.1 fan of your relationship, shows you off, goes on cute dates, thoughtful gifts, romantic, positive about your future, wants to spend time with you

Virgo Venus:

Undeveloped: doesn’t “care” about love, thinks they don’t deserve love, plays the victim, gives everything in a relationship without getting something back, shows no emotion, difficult to see under their hard shell, hard to commit to a person/relationship

Developed: your go-to-person, shows enough emotion, embraces the little things, really sweet and affectionate, makes thoughtful gifts, cares about you and your health, always trying to make you happy with little jokes, best teamwork-partner ever, selfless

Libra Venus

Undeveloped: clingy, overly romantic, has a new crush everyday, can‘t really commit to one partner, you never know where you‘re at with them, everything revolves about them and their feelings, missing sense of identity, indecesive

Developed: really sweet and affectionate, wants the best for their partner, invests a lot of time in the relationship, determined about love, loves to show their love, shows you off, tells everyone that their partner is the best, cares for you

Scorpio Venus

Undeveloped: possessive, too much jealousy (you can‘t even talk to someone else), not stable enough to handle a rejection, concentrates only on their partner and forgets about themselves, often too passionate and a lot of fights

Developed: gives you enough freedom to be yourself, romantic and cute gestures, pushes you to new things, is productive with you, teamwork is always on point, gives you security and stability, great sex life, wants to be happy with you

Sagittarius Venus

Undeveloped: often too flighty, doesn’t stay around one partner for too long, difficulties to express their feelings properly, doesn’t search for something true, thinks they’re always right, often brutally honest and disrespectful

Developed: tries to give their partner safety but also an adventure, always wants to do something new and crazy (in a good way), loves you for who you are not what you look like, is proud to have you and shows you their feelings

Capricorn Venus

Undeveloped: does not have a lot of self-confidence and doubts themselves constantly, afraid of falling in love and ending the relationship in a disaster, cold and comes off as heartless, only interested in their work, makes up no time for their partner

Developed: one of the most romantic and affectionate lovers, when they really love you, they’ll show and prove it, give you stability, respectful and not too clingy, wants the best for you and always helps you with everything, is really concerned about being happy with one person

Aquarius Venus

Undeveloped: a bit of a loner sometimes, it’s very hard for them to show affection and love, often don’t know what love feels like, tries to avoid relationships, cynic,pretty harsh, hard for them to open up to someone, lost in their own world, not interested in romance

Developed: would go to the end of the world for the person they love, shows love in their own and very special ways, down for anything, you can talk with them about literally anything, soulmate material, wants the best for you, needs their freedom but you can always find compromises

Pisces Venus

Undeveloped: too dreamy, can’t commit to one person, but if they do they’re too clingy, don’t think of themselves and only cares about others which isn’t always good, plays the victim a lot, lonely, wastes time not talking to their crush and tell them the truth

Developed: loves to spend time with the one they love, also tries to think of themselves, helpful and caring, very sensual and sensitive, they would never ever hurt you, loyal and honest, a sweet little romantic, gives the best advice

Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death

~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted

~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”

~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes

~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”

~They spend the rest of the night talking about it

~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful

~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics

~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own

~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy

~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other

~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately

~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help

~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”

~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth

~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”

~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text

~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters

~The rest come really quickly after that

~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone

~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”

~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)

~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet

~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back

~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time

~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him

~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout

~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them

~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)

~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons

~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)

~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE

~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all

~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars

~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside

~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking

~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun

~THOMAS JEFFERSON

~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex

~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says

~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”

~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George

~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”

~All the hate sex

~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)

~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand

~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)

~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why

~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them

~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD

~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler

~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza

~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat

~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation

~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it

~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all

~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice

Adult World (Jungkook smut)

Originally posted by nochuie

Description: You reveal to your friends that no one except yourself has ever made you cum. Jin in particular finds this interesting and dares you and Jungkook to go to the sex shop down the street and purchase a sex toy, for your own benefit of course.

Pairings: You x Jungkook, You x Taehyung, Jungkook x Taehyung (you know how truth and dare goes)

Basically: Taehyung is a cocky lil shit who features quite a lot. Jin is a mean lil shit and Jungkook is a very helpful lil shit ;)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff (so much smut, like damn this was hot to write)

This fic includes: A brief boy on boy scene, swearing, alcohol, sex toys, explicit smut

Word count: 6k


“You’ve got to be kidding!” Jin practically howls with laughter, doubling over himself and nearly falling off the couch with laughter. You’re about to tell him off but Jungkook beats you to it.

“Shut up. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Jin sits up straight, looking down at Jungkook, who sits next to you on the floor, opposite Jin. He wipes the tears from his eyes, his laughter finally dying down. “Hey, don’t you think you should talk to me with a bit more respect?” He prods teasingly, but Jungkook doesn’t seem in the mood, his previous lighthearted spirit vanishing upon Jin’s insensitive comment.

Jungkook’s tone is excitingly stern, but not rude, “Yeah, I’ll show more respect when you show more respect to Y/N.”

You laugh, “Don’t worry about me, Jungkook. I don’t think I can take Jin very seriously, not when I highly doubt he’d even know how to make me or any other girl cum.”

The circle of friends in Taehyung and Jungkook’s apartment erupt into comical ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’.

“You got damn burned!” Jimin says, leaning over the bottles in the center of your various seated positions to high five you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

LISA. If every song from Halbum was a fic, what fic would they be?????

Meet Me In The Hallway

Just let me know I’ll be at the door, at the door
Hoping you’ll come around
Just let me know I’ll be on the floor, on the floor
Maybe we’ll work it out

  • Red Brick Heart : Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted.

Sign of the Times

Just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times
We gotta get away from here

  • Here In The Afterglow1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

Carolina

She’s such a good girl 
She’s a good girl 
She feels so good

  • You’ll Breathe Me In (You Won’t Release)  AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who’s really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

Two Ghosts

We’re not who we used to be
We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

  • Love Is A Rebellious Bird :  AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Sweet Creature

But we’re still young
We don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong

I know, we started
Two hearts in one home

  • Never Be : The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

Only Angel

I must admit I thought I’d like to make you mine
As I went about my business through the warning signs
End up meeting in the hallway every single time

  • Gods & Monsters : The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that’s exactly what he did.

 Kiwi

And all the boys, they were saying they were into it
Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck

Driving me crazy, but I’m into it, but I’m into it
I’m kind of into it

  • Escapade : In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

Ever Since New York

I need something, tell me something new
Choose your words, ‘cause there’s no antidote
For this curse
Oh, what’s it waiting for?
Must this hurt you just before you go?

  • Empty Skies : For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream – making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He’s still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

Woman

I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in
While he’s touching your skin
He’s right where I should, where I should be
But you’re making me bleed

  • You Are The Blood : A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

From The Dining Table

We haven’t spoke since you went away
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won’t you ever be the first to break?
Even the phone misses your call, by the way

  • These Inconvenient FireworksFuture AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

** I decided to just post this directly on the blog because I believe every person who has an abusive mother should read this.

1. Everything she does is deniable.

There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn’t live through her abuse would never believe the connection.

Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word. She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or the way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ("I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)


2. She violates your boundaries.

You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you. (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn’t like kumquats.) You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs (“Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!”) You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.

Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you’re punished for your insistence (“Since you’re old enough to date, I think you’re old enough to pay for your own clothes!”) If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your “independence.”


3. She favoritizes.

Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself.


4. She undermines.

Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them. Any success or accomplishment for which she cannot take credit is ignored or diminished. Any time you are to be center stage and there is no opportunity for her to be the center of attention, she will try to prevent the occasion altogether, or she doesn’t come, or she leaves early, or she acts like it’s no big deal, or she steals the spotlight or she slips in little wounding comments about how much better someone else did or how what you did wasn’t as much as you could have done or as you think it is. She undermines you by picking fights with you or being especially unpleasant just before you have to make a major effort. She acts put out if she has to do anything to support your opportunities or will outright refuse to do even small things in support of you. She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you’ve done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it. No matter what your success, she has to take you down a peg about it.


5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

She lets you know in all sorts of little ways that she thinks less of you than she does of your siblings or of other people in general. If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person’s side even if she doesn’t know them at all. She doesn’t care about those people or the justice of your complaints. She just wants to let you know that you’re never right.

She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): “You were always difficult” “You can be very difficult to love” “You never seemed to be able to finish anything” “You were very hard to live with” “You’re always causing trouble” “No one could put up with the things you do.” She will deliver slams in a sidelong way - for example she’ll complain about how “no one” loves her, does anything for her, or cares about her, or she’ll complain that “everyone” is so selfish, when you’re the only person in the room. As always, this combines criticism with deniability.

She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn’t like as much. She’ll let you know that her relationship with some other person you both know is wonderful in a way your relationship with her isn’t - the carefully unspoken message being that you don’t matter much to her.

She minimizes, discounts or ignores your opinions and experiences. Your insights are met with condescension, denials and accusations (“I think you read too much!”) and she will brush off your information even on subjects on which you are an acknowledged expert. Whatever you say is met with smirks and amused sounding or exaggerated exclamations (“Uh hunh!” “You don’t say!” “Really!”). She’ll then make it clear that she didn’t listen to a word you said.


6. She makes you look crazy.

If you try to confront her about something she’s done, she’ll tell you that you have “a very vivid imagination” (this is a phrase commonly used by abusers of all sorts to invalidate your experience of their abuse) that you don’t know what you’re talking about, or that she has no idea what you’re talking about. She will claim not to remember even very memorable events, flatly denying they ever happened, nor will she ever acknowledge any possibility that she might have forgotten. This is an extremely aggressive and exceptionally infuriating tactic called “gaslighting,” common to abusers of all kinds. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your intuition, your memory or your powers of reasoning. This makes you a much better victim for the abuser.

Narcissists gaslight routinely. The narcissist will either insinuate or will tell you outright that you’re unstable, otherwise you wouldn’t believe such ridiculous things or be so uncooperative. You’re oversensitive. You’re imagining things. You’re hysterical. You’re completely unreasonable. You’re over-reacting, like you always do. She’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down and aren’t so irrational. She may even characterize you as being neurotic or psychotic.

Once she’s constructed these fantasies of your emotional pathologies, she’ll tell others about them, as always, presenting her smears as expressions of concern and declaring her own helpless victimhood. She didn’t do anything. She has no idea why you’re so irrationally angry with her. You’ve hurt her terribly. She thinks you may need psychotherapy. She loves you very much and would do anything to make you happy, but she just doesn’t know what to do. You keep pushing her away when all she wants to do is help you.

She has simultaneously absolved herself of any responsibility for your obvious antipathy towards her, implied that it’s something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you angry with her, and undermined your credibility with her listeners. She plays the role of the doting mother so perfectly that no one will believe you.


7. She’s envious.

Any time you get something nice she’s angry and envious and her envy will be apparent when she admires whatever it is. She’ll try to get it from you, spoil it for you, or get the same or better for herself. She’s always working on ways to get what other people have. The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law. They’ll attempt to forbid their daughters to wear makeup, to groom themselves in an age-appropriate way or to date. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law. This envy extends to relationships. Narcissistic mothers infamously attempt to damage their children’s marriages and interfere in the upbringing of their grandchildren.


8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.

Any time she talks about something that has emotional significance for her, it’s a fair bet that she’s lying. Lying is one way that she creates conflict in the relationships and lives of those around her - she’ll lie to them about what other people have said, what they’ve done, or how they feel. She’ll lie about her relationship with them, about your behavior or about your situation in order to inflate herself and to undermine your credibility.

The narcissist is very careful about how she lies. To outsiders she’ll lie thoughtfully and deliberately, always in a way that can be covered up if she’s confronted with her lie. She spins what you said rather than makes something up wholesale. She puts dishonest interpretations on things you actually did. If she’s recently done something particularly egregious she may engage in preventative lying: she lies in advance to discount what you might say before you even say it. Then when you talk about what she did you’ll be cut off with “I already know all about it…your mother told me… (self-justifications and lies).” Because she is so careful about her deniability, it may be very hard to catch her in her lies and the more gullible of her friends may never realize how dishonest she is.

To you, she’ll lie blatantly. She will claim to be unable to remember bad things she has done, even if she did one of them recently and even if it was something very memorable. Of course, if you try to jog her memory by recounting the circumstances “You have a very vivid imagination” or “That was so long ago. Why do you have to dredge up your old grudges?” Your conversations with her are full of casual brush-offs and diversionary lies and she doesn’t respect you enough to bother making it sound good. For example she’ll start with a self-serving lie: “If I don’t take you as a dependent on my taxes I’ll lose three thousand dollars!” You refute her lie with an obvious truth: “No, three thousand dollars is the amount of the dependent exemption. You’ll only lose about eight hundred dollars.” Her response: “Isn’t that what I said?” You are now in a game with only one rule: You can’t win.

On the rare occasions she is forced to acknowledge some bad behavior, she will couch the admission deniably. She “guesses” that “maybe” she “might have” done something wrong. The wrongdoing is always heavily spun and trimmed to make it sound better. The words “I guess,” “maybe,” and “might have” are in and of themselves lies because she knows exactly what she did - no guessing, no might haves, no maybes.


9. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

This need is a defining trait of narcissists and particularly of narcissistic mothers for whom their children exist to be sources of attention and adoration. Narcissistic mothers love to be waited on and often pepper their children with little requests. “While you’re up…” or its equivalent is one of their favorite phrases. You couldn’t just be assigned a chore at the beginning of the week or of the day, instead, you had to do it on demand, preferably at a time that was inconvenient for you, or you had to “help” her do it, fetching and carrying for her while she made up to herself for the menial work she had to do as your mother by glorying in your attentions.

A narcissistic mother may create odd occasions at which she can be the center of attention, such as memorials for someone close to her who died long ago, or major celebrations of small personal milestones. She may love to entertain so she can be the life of her own party. She will try to steal the spotlight or will try to spoil any occasion where someone else is the center of attention, particularly the child she has cast as the scapegoat. She often invites herself along where she isn’t welcome. If she visits you or you visit her, you are required to spend all your time with her. Entertaining herself is unthinkable. She has always pouted, manipulated or raged if you tried to do anything without her, didn’t want to entertain her, refused to wait on her, stymied her plans for a drama or otherwise deprived her of attention.

Older narcissistic mothers often use the natural limitations of aging to manipulate dramas, often by neglecting their health or by doing things they know will make them ill. This gives them the opportunity to cash in on the investment they made when they trained you to wait on them as a child. Then they call you (or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you) demanding your immediate attendance. You are to rush to her side, pat her hand, weep over her pain and listen sympathetically to her unending complaints about how hard and awful it is. (“Never get old!”) It’s almost never the case that you can actually do anything useful, and the causes of her disability may have been completely avoidable, but you’ve been put in an extremely difficult position. If you don’t provide the audience and attention she’s manipulating to get, you look extremely bad to everyone else and may even have legal culpability. (Narcissistic behaviors commonly accompany Alzheimer’s disease, so this behavior may also occur in perfectly normal mothers as they age.)


10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

This exceptionally sick and bizarre behavior is so common among narcissistic mothers that their children often call them “emotional vampires.” Some of this emotional feeding comes in the form of pure sadism. She does and says things just to be wounding or she engages in tormenting teasing or she needles you about things you’re sensitive about, all the while a smile plays over her lips. She may have taken you to scary movies or told you horrifying stories, then mocked you for being a baby when you cried; she will slip a wounding comment into conversation and smile delightedly into your hurt face. You can hear the laughter in her voice as she pressures you or says distressing things to you. Later she’ll gloat over how much she upset you, gaily telling other people that you’re so much fun to tease, and recruiting others to share in her amusement. . She enjoys her cruelties and makes no effort to disguise that. She wants you to know that your pain entertains her. She may bring up subjects that are painful for you and probe you about them, all the while watching you carefully. This is emotional vampirism in its purest form. She’s feeding emotionally off your pain.

A peculiar form of this emotional vampirism combines attention-seeking behavior with a demand that the audience suffer. Since narcissistic mothers often play the martyr this may take the form of wrenching, self-pitying dramas which she carefully produces, and in which she is the star performer. She sobs and wails that no one loves her and everyone is so selfish, and she doesn’t want to live, she wants to die! She wants to die! She will not seem to care how much the manipulation of their emotions and the self-pity repels other people. One weird behavior that is very common to narcissists: her dramas may also center around the tragedies of other people, often relating how much she suffered by association and trying to distress her listeners, as she cries over the horrible murder of someone she wouldn’t recognize if they had passed her on the street.


11. She’s selfish and willful.

She always makes sure she has the best of everything. She insists on having her own way all the time and she will ruthlessly, manipulatively pursue it, even if what she wants isn’t worth all the effort she’s putting into it and even if that effort goes far beyond normal behavior. She will make a huge effort to get something you denied her, even if it was entirely your right to do so and even if her demand was selfish and unreasonable. If you tell her she cannot bring her friends to your party she will show up with them anyway, and she will have told them that they were invited so that you either have to give in, or be the bad guy to these poor dupes on your doorstep. If you tell her she can’t come over to your house tonight she’ll call your spouse and try get him or her to agree that she can, and to not say anything to you about it because it’s a “surprise.” She has to show you that you can’t tell her “no.”

One near-universal characteristic of narcissists: because they are so selfish and self-centered, they are very bad gift givers. They’ll give you hand-me-downs or market things for themselves as gifts for you (“I thought I’d give you my old bicycle and buy myself a new one!” “I know how much you love Italian food, so I’m going to take you to my favorite restaurant for your birthday!”) New gifts are often obviously cheap and are usually things that don’t suit you or that you can’t use or are a quid pro quo: if you buy her the gift she wants, she will buy you an item of your choice. She’ll make it clear that it pains her to give you anything. She may buy you a gift and get the identical item for herself, or take you shopping for a gift and get herself something nice at the same time to make herself feel better.


12. She’s self-absorbed.

Her feelings, needs and wants are very important; yours are insignificant to the point that her least whim takes precedence over your most basic needs. Her problems deserve your immediate and full attention; yours are brushed aside. Her wishes always take precedence; if she does something for you, she reminds you constantly of her munificence in doing so and will often try to extract some sort of payment. She will complain constantly, even though your situation may be much worse than hers. If you point that out, she will effortlessly, thoughtlessly brush it aside as of no importance (It’s easy for you… / It’s different for you…).


13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

If you criticize her or defy her she will explode with fury, threaten, storm, rage, destroy and may become violent, beating, confining, putting her child outdoors in bad weather or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.


14. She terrorizes.

For all abusers, fear is a powerful means of control of the victim, and your narcissistic mother used it ruthlessly to train you. Narcissists teach you to beware their wrath even when they aren’t present. The only alternative is constant placation. If you give her everything she wants all the time, you might be spared. If you don’t, the punishments will come. Even adult children of narcissists still feel that carefully inculcated fear. Your narcissistic mother can turn it on with a silence or a look that tells the child in you she’s thinking about how she’s going to get even.

Not all narcissists abuse physically, but most do, often in subtle, deniable ways. It allows them to vent their rage at your failure to be the solution to their internal havoc and simultaneously to teach you to fear them. You may not have been beaten, but you were almost certainly left to endure physical pain when a normal mother would have made an effort to relieve your misery. This deniable form of battery allows her to store up her rage and dole out the punishment at a later time when she’s worked out an airtight rationale for her abuse, so she never risks exposure. You were left hungry because “you eat too much.” (Someone asked her if she was pregnant. She isn’t). You always went to school with stomach flu because “you don’t have a fever. You’re just trying to get out of school.” (She resents having to take care of you. You have a lot of nerve getting sick and adding to her burdens.) She refuses to look at your bloody heels and instead the shoes that wore those blisters on your heels are put back on your feet and you’re sent to the store in them because “You wanted those shoes. Now you can wear them.” (You said the ones she wanted to get you were ugly. She liked them because they were just like what she wore 30 years ago). The dentist was told not to give you Novocain when he drilled your tooth because “he has to learn to take better care of his teeth.” (She has to pay for a filling and she’s furious at having to spend money on you.)

Narcissistic mothers also abuse by loosing others on you or by failing to protect you when a normal mother would have. Sometimes the narcissist’s golden child will be encouraged to abuse the scapegoat. Narcissists also abuse by exposing you to violence. If one of your siblings got beaten, she made sure you saw. She effortlessly put the fear of Mom into you, without raising a hand.


15. She’s infantile and petty.

Narcissistic mothers are often simply childish. If you refuse to let her manipulate you into doing something, she will cry that you don’t love her because if you loved her you would do as she wanted. If you hurt her feelings she will aggressively whine to you that you’ll be sorry when she’s dead that you didn’t treat her better. These babyish complaints and responses may sound laughable, but the narcissist is dead serious about them. When you were a child, if you ask her to stop some bad behavior, she would justify it by pointing out something that you did that she feels is comparable, as though the childish behavior of a child is justification for the childish behavior of an adult. “Getting even” is a large part of her dealings with you. Anytime you fail to give her the deference, attention or service she feels she deserves, or you thwart her wishes, she has to show you.


16. She’s aggressive and shameless.

She doesn’t ask. She demands. She makes outrageous requests and she’ll take anything she wants if she thinks she can get away with it. Her demands of her children are posed in a very aggressive way, as are her criticisms. She won’t take no for an answer, pushing and arm-twisting and manipulating to get you to give in.


17. She “parentifies.”

She shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up for herself. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers. Your friends were never welcome in her house. She didn’t like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. She wouldn’t buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with “Now that you’re making money, why don’t you pay for that yourself?” You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was “so happy you could take care of yourself.”

She also gave you tasks that were rightfully hers and should not have been placed on a child. You may have been a primary caregiver for young siblings or an incapacitated parent. You may have had responsibility for excessive household tasks. Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. You were often punished out of the blue, for manufactured offenses. As you got older she directly placed responsibility for her welfare and her emotions on you, weeping on your shoulder and unloading on you any time something went awry for her.


18. She’s exploitative.

She will manipulate to get work, money, or objects she envies out of other people for nothing. This includes her children, of course. If she set up a bank account for you, she was trustee on the account with the right to withdraw money. As you put money into it, she took it out. She may have stolen your identity. She took you as a dependent on her income taxes so you couldn’t file independently without exposing her to criminal penalties. If she made an agreement with you, it was violated the minute it no longer served her needs. If you brought it up demanding she adhere to the agreement, she brushed you off and later punished you so you would know not to defy her again.

Sometimes the narcissist will exploit a child to absorb punishment that would have been hers from an abusive partner. The husband comes home in a drunken rage, and the mother immediately complains about the child’s bad behavior so the rage is vented on to the child. Sometimes the narcissistic mother simply uses the child to keep a sick marriage intact because the alternative is being divorced or having to go to work. The child is sexually molested but the mother never notices, or worse, calls the child a liar when she tells the mother about the molestation.


19. She projects.

This sounds a little like psycho-babble, but it is something that narcissists all do. Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. This can be very difficult to see if you have traits that she can project on to. An eating-disordered woman who obsesses over her daughter’s weight is projecting. The daughter may not realize it because she has probably internalized an absurdly thin vision of women’s weight and so accepts her mother’s projection. When the narcissist tells the daughter that she eats too much, needs to exercise more, or has to wear extra-large size clothes, the daughter believes it, even if it isn’t true. However, she will sometimes project even though it makes no sense at all. This happens when she feels shamed and needs to put it on her scapegoat child and the projection therefore comes across as being an attack out of the blue. For example: She makes an outrageous request, and you casually refuse to let her have her way. She’s enraged by your refusal and snarls at you that you’ll talk about it when you’ve calmed down and are no longer hysterical.

You aren’t hysterical at all; she is, but your refusal has made her feel the shame that should have stopped her from making shameless demands in the first place. That’s intolerable. She can transfer that shame to you and rationalize away your response: you only refused her because you’re so unreasonable. Having done that she can reassert her shamelessness and indulge her childish willfulness by turning an unequivocal refusal into a subject for further discussion. You’ll talk about it again “later” - probably when she’s worn you down with histrionics, pouting and the silent treatment so you’re more inclined to do what she wants.


20. She is never wrong about anything.

No matter what she’s done, she won’t ever genuinely apologize for anything. Instead, any time she feels she is being made to apologize she will sulk and pout, issue an insulting apology or negate the apology she has just made with justifications, qualifications or self pity: “I’m sorry you felt that I humiliated you” “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad” “If I did that it was wrong” “I’m sorry, but I there’s nothing I can do about it” “I’m sorry I made you feel clumsy, stupid and disgusting” “I’m sorry but it was just a joke. You’re so over-sensitive” “I’m sorry that my own child feels she has to upset me and make me feel bad.” The last insulting apology is also an example of projection.


21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

She’ll occasionally slip and say something jaw-droppingly callous because of this lack of empathy. It isn’t that she doesn’t care at all about other people’s feelings, though she doesn’t. It would simply never occur to her to think about their feelings. An absence of empathy is the defining trait of a narcissist and underlies most of the other traits I have described. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists do understand right, wrong, and consequences, so they are not ordinarily criminal. She beat you, but not to the point where you went to the hospital. She left you standing out in the cold until you were miserable, but not until you had hypothermia. She put you in the basement in the dark with no clothes on, but she only left you there for two hours.


22. She blames.

She’ll blame you for everything that isn’t right in her life or for what other people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she’ll blame you for her abuse. You made her do it. If only you weren’t so difficult. You upset her so much that she can’t think straight. Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink. This blaming is often so subtle that all you know is that you thought you were wronged and now you feel guilty. Your brother beats you and her response is to bemoan how uncivilized children are. Your boyfriend dumped you, but she can understand - after all, she herself has seen how difficult you are to love. She’ll do something egregiously exploitative to you, and when confronted will screech at you that she can’t believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such a trivial thing. She’ll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish, cruel and exploitative behavior. She can’t believe you are so petty, so small, and so childish as to object to her giving your favorite dress to her friend. She thought you would be happy to let her do something nice for someone else.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is
Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.
Manipulating. She’s making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.
Being selfish. She doesn’t mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.
Blaming. She did something wrong, but it’s all your fault.
Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.
Putting on a self-pitying drama. She’s a martyr who believed the best of you, and you’ve let her down.
Parentifying. You’re responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.


23. She destroys your relationships.

Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Unless the father has control over the narcissist and holds the family together, adult siblings in families with narcissistic mothers characteristically have painful relationships. Typically all communication between siblings is superficial and driven by duty, or they may never talk to each other at all. In part, these women foster dissension between their children because they enjoy the control it gives them. If those children don’t communicate except through the mother, she can decide what everyone hears. Narcissists also love the excitement and drama they create by interfering in their children’s lives. Watching people’s lives explode is better than soap operas, especially when you don’t have any empathy for their misery.

The narcissist nurtures anger, contempt and envy - the most corrosive emotions - to drive her children apart. While her children are still living at home, any child who stands up to the narcissist guarantees punishment for the rest. In her zest for revenge, the narcissist purposefully turns the siblings’ anger on the dissenter by including everyone in her retaliation. (“I can see that nobody here loves me! Well I’ll just take these Christmas presents back to the store. None of you would want anything I got you anyway!”) The other children, long trained by the narcissist to give in, are furious with the troublemaking child, instead of with the narcissist who actually deserves their anger.

The narcissist also uses favoritism and gossip to poison her childrens’ relationships. The scapegoat sees the mother as a creature of caprice and cruelty. As is typical of the privileged, the other children don’t see her unfairness and they excuse her abuses. Indeed, they are often recruited by the narcissist to adopt her contemptuous and entitled attitude towards the scapegoat and with her tacit or explicit permission, will inflict further abuse. The scapegoat predictably responds with fury and equal contempt. After her children move on with adult lives, the narcissist makes sure to keep each apprised of the doings of the others, passing on the most discreditable and juicy gossip (as always, disguised as “concern”) about the other children, again, in a way that engenders contempt rather than compassion.

Having been raised by a narcissist, her children are predisposed to be envious, and she takes full advantage of the opportunity that presents. While she may never praise you to your face, she will likely crow about your victories to the very sibling who is not doing well. She’ll tell you about the generosity she displayed towards that child, leaving you wondering why you got left out and irrationally angry at the favored child rather than at the narcissist who told you about it.

The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. She then passes that on to the others, creating the resentments that prevent them from communicating directly and freely with each other. The result is that the only communication between the children is through the narcissist, exactly the way she wants it.


24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful.

Whipped...friends??

Y/N would have never imagined the amount of attention being Harry’s best friend would bring. There’s also always speculations, suspicions that the two might be more than friends, given the fact that when they go out, it’s like they might as well be joined at the hip. Where Harry is on a day off, Y/N is sure to follow, and the paparazzi gets pictures of it all. But Y/N’s always been just a friend. It’s not like she trails behind him like a puppy, no. Harry just always loves having her around, finds comfort in the way she talks to him without a hint of glorification. Tracing back to the beginning of their friendship, Y/N didn’t tip toe around Harry, trying to make sure to not say the wrong thing, never really made impressing Harry a priority. And Harry really appreciated that.

And the relentless bother and questions of “are you two dating?” doesn’t end with the public, no, it continues, and probably gets more intense coming from their group of friends.

Whenever Y/N steps away from Harry’s side, there’s always one of the boys whispering to him about how they’re sure she’s got him wrapped around her pretty little finger. How at the call of his name, Harry never thinks twice about dropping everything and tending to her wants and needs. They make it sound awful in a way, as if Y/N is always needy of Harry and demanded his attention. But they don’t mean it like that really, just like bothering him about it, specially because he gets all worked up in trying to defend her.

They even comment about how they’ve taken notice to the fact Harry’s smile can stretch for miles at the mention of her name, which Harry has never denied. Only nods his head in amusement at the fact others notice.

And maybe their secret little escapes to what they refer to as “friend dates” are no help. They’ll be having a night in on the sofa, Harry sat at the edge of it, elbow propped on the arm rest, mindlessly scrolling through texts and thumbs swift on the screen, typing replies to friends. And obviously Y/N’s with him, lying down and feet resting on his lap, her head flat on the cushion, eyes shut because she quite enjoys just lying about in a silent room, knowing Harry’s there. And it’s not until he shuffles to stand up, pushing her legs off him in the process, that she opens her eyes and follows his body across the room where he doubles over to slip on his YSL boots before he goes for his coat. With a small whisper of “ye’ comin’?” Y/N is sure to follow his steps. Most nights like that they end up in some random bar or restaurant, sat on a stool or a booth, laughing and eating. Harry will often opt to sit next to her rather than in front, taking the chance to lay his head on her shoulder. Even kiss at her neck sometimes.

And when the boys catch a glimpse of the paparazzi photos taken of them all cuddly on a random Tuesday night at a local cafe, Harry’s phone just about overloads with texts from Niall going on about “I knew it!” And “just ask her, man!”

So no, it’s not out of the ordinary for Louis to make a ‘wuh-PSSSH’ sound followed by something snarky like “so whipped, mate. And she’s not even ye’ girlfriend,” when he notices Harry’s stare trailing to where Y/N goes as she makes breakfast for the lot. Harry tries to disregard the comment as Louis takes a seat next to him at the kitchen island.

“What’re you guys going on about over there?” Y/N asks, giggling to herself, “got Harry blushing and all.”

And of course with no chill what so ever, Liam pats Harry on the back, a devilish smile playing on his lips, “Harry here has found himself head over heels.”

Y/N can’t deny that her heart sinks a little at that, but she doesn’t let it faze her, or at least she doesn’t show it. “Really?? Oh who is she??”

“Yeah, Harry! Tell our lovely Y/N who’s the lucky woman!” Harry would hope Niall would be the one not to indulge in his current tormenting.

But Harry can only look at Y/N, her eyes locked on his from across the room. And Harry swears he’s never seen her look at him the way she is right now.

And the boys don’t mean to over tease him this time, just wish he’d finally let it out and tell her because they’re rather sure Y/N feels the same. It’s hard not to notice the way she looks at him, eyes full of adoration and dare they say, love.

When the air has fallen silent for far too long, Liam decides to change the subject for Harry’s sake and stands up to give Y/N a hand with the pouring of the beverages.

“You two have gotten to the point where you grocery shop together.” Liam starts again when Y/N steps away for more milk, “you cook together. You do laundry together. You’re always going on dates. You go with her for manis and pedis, and I’m sure you enjoy it, too.”

“So wha’?? I like spendin’ time with her.” Harry doesn’t really see why that’s so bad, being whipped and all.

“You sleep together,” Louis chimes in, “hell, wouldn’t be surprised if you showered together.”

Now that’s just nonsense.

“Sod off ye’ prick.”

***

It’s been a few weeks since the day Y/N found out Harry’s interested in someone. And she’d be lying if she said it doesn’t keep her awake at night. Awake while she’s lying next to Harry because of the fact that they’d much rather sleep together than alone. But when she looks over at him, she can’t help but smile.

She’s lying on her side, eyes tracing his, rid of any wrinkles they get when he smiles or frowns. They trace all of him. From his eyes to his eyebrows, then his cheeks and to his nose, where she kisses lightly, careful not to wake him. He only crinkles it for a short second, to which she only smiles. Her eyes linger down his neck, tracing every muscle and crevice until she’s looking at the tattoos on his chest, the steady rise and fall of it has her breathing adapting to his.

It’s when she looks at his parted bubble gum pink lips that she raises a hand, her index finger ghosting over his bottom lip. The touch has Harry stirring, eyes open for a moment before he puckers his lips to peck her finger, a smile on his face. He flutters his eyes shut for a second before resting his hand on her waist and rubbing his thumb gently on the exposed skin. He moans in content, pulls her body closer to his and rests his lips on her hair line.

“Go t'sleep, pet.”

And why oh why did she ever think some friendly flirting and bed sharing with her best friend could never lead to any emotional attachment.

***

The cuddles haven’t stopped. Harry’s lingering kisses and hugs haven’t stopped. The boys teasing on Harry behind Y/N’s back hasn’t stopped. Y/N sleeping in Harry’s bed hasn’t stopped. And Y/N’s constant self reminder that Harry might just be in love with someone else has not stopped.

If she’s being quite honest, she’s not liking the way the boys snicker and whisper to Harry when she walks off. And she really doesn’t like how whatever and whoever they’re whispering about is making Harry blush and smile sheepishly like crazy. Wishes she knew what they’re always being so secretive about. But giving it a second thought, maybe she doesn’t wanna know. It’s all the same to her now though.

The movie on the telly doesn’t seem to distract her anymore, not from her thoughts which are taking over her mind the more time she spends in Harry’s home. And to add to that, the second she steps back into the room with a bowl of popcorn the boys go silent. It makes her feel awful…left out, but she’s sure they don’t mean to do it. She should be thankful right? At least they’re nice enough not to talk about Harry’s girl in front of her, or maybe that’s just something she wants to believe.

“Oh popcorn.” Niall’s first to reach out and grab a handful before she’s even had the chance to get to her seat next to Harry.

“Thanks, love.” Harry whispers, kissing her cheek the second she sits down.

She notices out of the corner of her eye how Louis smirks and nods his head when Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder. What’s so funny??

The moment Harry presses another kiss to the top of her head is the moment she realizes she’s had enough. It’s the moment she realizes she can’t keep pretending and letting herself fall even more. Not after what Liam said.

“I have to go. It’s getting pretty late.” This catches everyone off guard, especially Harry.

When she stands up to leave, his fingers around her wrist are quick to make her stop and have her look down at him, still sat on the sofa. “Wha’ do ye’ mean? Ye’ always spend the night, poppet.”

His brows are furrowed now, grip tight on her wrist, fearing that if he loosens it she might just slip away.

Of course they can’t ignore the other people in the room though, so when Y/N’s eyes avert to the boys, Harry is quick to stand up and lead them away.

“Everythin’ a'right?” His eyes scan hers for answers, his hand now cupping her neck, thumb rubbing soothingly at her jaw.

The cool of his rings on her skin keep her at ease. But the uncertainty in her eyes has Harry feeling all types of useless.

“Tell me wha’s wrong, little one. Wha’ can I do to make ye’ feel better?”

And those words would have made no sense if it wasn’t for the sudden feeling of Harry wiping away a stray tear she didn’t notice she’d shed.

She can’t. She can’t break down. Not in front of him. What can she say for him to let her go??

“Nothing’s wrong, Harry.”

But she’s sure he doesn’t believe her, not one bit. He knows her too well.

And she can tell he’s about to say something else, and she knows if she lets him, she’s sure to fall back into whatever they have.

“I’ve really got to go. I’ve got a date in an hour and I have to go get ready.”

As much bullshit of an excuse as that is, Harry’s grip on her wrist loosens, and the hand on her neck falls.

And she takes the opportunity to slip out the door.



Whipped…friends?? Or.. (Part Two)

Namjoon

BOYFRIEND BANGTAN | NAMJOON VERSION 

WORD COUNT: 1,373 

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by bangtoori

masterlist | ask

Keep reading

what each Gravity Falls episode is basically about (spoilers duh)

S1

1. Tourist Trapped - gnomes stacked on top of one another try to get some with mabel

2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker - kids ditch uncle to find nessie

3. Headhunters - murder mystery but no one actually died

4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel - plump southern kid tries to get some with mabel

5. The Inconveniencing - dipper thinks acting literally 2 months older will help him get in wendy’s pants and mabel gets possessed by old people

6. Dipper vs. Manliness - unnecessary gender stereotypes  

7. Double Dipper - dipper tries to get in wendy’s pants by making clones

8. Irrational Treasure - mabel solves a mystery by acting her age

9. The Time Traveler’s Pig - dipper goes back in time to get in wendy’s pants 

10. Fight Fighters - more unnecessary gender stereotypes

11. Little Dipper - mabel is taller than dipper in canada

12. Summerween - everything would have been fine if dipper was the fucking peanut butter

13. Boss Mabel - mabel learns to grow a pair

14. Bottomless Pit - episodes too short to be real so everyone just falls down a hole

15. The Deep End - mabel tries to get in mermando’s pants but he doesn’t wear any

16. Carpet Diem - mabel gets a dick and “the talk” while dipper reads erotica

17. Boyz Crazy - mabel tries to get into 5 boys’ pants but they are all stupid

18. Land Before Swine - stan is a dick to pigs

19. Dreamscapers - inception with a demon dorito 

20. Gideon Rises - children literally almost die because the plump southern kid is extra as fuck

S2

1. Scary-oke - the pines family sings so bad that zombies literally explode

2. Into the Bunker - a shape shifter gets dipper to tell wendy that he wants to get in her pants

3. The Golf War - two 12 year olds are suspiciously good at mini golf

4. Sock Opera - dipper freakiNG GETS POSSESSED BY A FUCKING DEMON AND MABEL DOESNT NOTICE BECAUSE SHE HAS A HARD ON FOR A GUY WHO MAKES OUT WITH HIS HANDS 

5. Soos and the Real Girl - soos wants to fuck a dating sim

6. Little Gift Shop of Horrors - more short not real episodes and stan be creepin

7. Society of the Blind Eye - shit is so fucked that people are ERASING THEIR OWN MINDS

8. Blendin’s Game - mabel and dipper time travel some more because they are nosey as fuck

9. The Love God - mabel causes two angsty teens to fuck

10. Northwest Mansion Mystery - an episode of supernatural with a ghost that turns people into wood

11. Not What He Seams - stan becomes a real person, shit gets real, and mabel single handedly furthers the plot

12. A Tale of Two Stans - forget stan’s old backstory. here’s a new one

13. Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons - dipper and ford play d&d

14. The Stanchurian Candidate - stan runs for mayor because mabel and dipper have discovered mind control

15. The Last Mabelcorn - a unicorn tells mabel she isn’t pure so mabel  PUNCHES IT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE

16. Roadside Attraction - dipper still wants to get in wendy’s pants so stan teaches him how to be a douche

17. Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future - mabel has a mid-life crisis while dipper and ford escape death in the vacuum of space

18. Weirdmageddon Part 1 - A DEMON TAKES OVER THE TOWN. post-apocalyptic wendy is hot

19. Weirdmageddon Part 2 - bill traps mabel in HER OWN MIND???

20. Weirdmageddon Part 3 - OK SERIOUSLY A DEMON TRIES TO KILL TWO CHILDREN AND THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT HIM IS BY TRAPPING HIM IN STANS MIND AND THEN ERASING STANS MEMORIES HOLY FUCK. then they have a birthday party

⇁ paper doll | prologue

Originally posted by sugutie

pairing⇁Jungkook x Reader

genre⇁drama, slight angst ||  idol+singer-songwriter!au

warnings⇁sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship 

word count⇁2k

When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed — it was you.

alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

⇀  00 | 01 

Keep reading

Types of Naruto Fanfiction Tropes I Remember Over the Years
  • sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten are on their way to train and they overhear all of their teammates calling them weak so they decide to get permission from tsunade to leave and train then they come back super boss level. sometimes comes back with kids and its obvious to tell who’s the dads but said dads are oblivious af to the fact
  • same as the above but the girls become rogue nin and somehow join the akatsuki and fall in love with whichever akatsuki member is in charge of their training
  • same as the above but this time its just sakura and hinata
  • sasuke and karin come back to konoha and someway, somehow, karin turns the entire village against sakura, including fucking tsunade [save for maybe one person that in all honesty sakura isn’t even close to, ex. shikamaru but according to sakura they’re just like siblings] so sakura decides to runaway and she joins the akatsuki who all love her because she’s been through so much and meanwhile in konoha everyone is shocked and hurt sakura left them and decide they must bring her back at all cost
  • same as the above but everyone still thinks sakura is weak etc and don’t want to save her but tsunade realized the error of her ways and makes everyone find her anyway
  • high school au where sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten are the least popular girls at school who constantly get bullied [maybe temari is included, but usually just those four]. sasuke, naruto, shikamaru, and neji are the most popular dudes in school with a shit ton of crazy fangirls. sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten all decide to stick up to the boys who are also bullies who in turn put all their bullying efforts onto the girls. but guess what, kakashi-sensei who is that teacher who’s always late af to his job/class is doing a group assignment AND GUESS WHO’S CONVENIENTLY PAIRED UP???
  • high school au where sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten are all skater girls with no interest in dudes but new cute guys sasuke, naruto, shikamaru, and neji fall head over heels in love at first sight but the girls are like buzz off.
  • did i mention that in all of these high school aus with sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten for some unexplainable reason they all live in this big house/apartment with each other
  • high school au where sakura is the only one being bullied and is for whatever reason the most hated and bullied girl in the entire school and the most popular [usually ino, sasuke, naruto, etc] decide to devise a plot where either naruto or sasuke trick sakura into falling in love with the respective guy then break her heart but they end up falling in love with her for real. sakura typically comes from a poor/troubled home that makes nards or sauce feel super bad
  • high school au where sakura is the most hated and bullied girl in school but finds solace and friendship by somehow befriending the most notorius kids in school that everyone calls the Akatsuki
  • sakura is the most hated and bullied girl in school but instead of the akatsuki thing, she actually has a nighttime persona and ironically enough that nighttime persona is super popular and loved by her peers and one of those peers, usually sasuke, falls for the persona and attempts to woo her whilst also being captivated by sakura whom he is annoyed by but also kind of is intrigued by
  • sakura isn’t being bullied but doesn’t stand out but she finds a new hobby in dancing or fashion or smth and the ppl who got her into it is the akatsuki
  • sakura is some kind of jinchuuriki like naruto like a ten-tailed wolf or smth and has been hated by the entire village her entire life save for best friend hinata. isn’t a sasuke fangirl but after being placed onto team 7 there is a love triangle. sometimes a love square if sai is thrown in as a first time ever 4 man squad thing is added
  •  sakura is chosen to be apart of an interrogation thing where she’s the medic for this particular person who turns out to be apart of the akatsuki but through their constant meetings and healing sessions, sakura falls in love with the person and they fall for her and share some passionate kiss and sakura typically helps this guy escape
  • tsunade has sakura to do an infiltration mission where she literally has to be arrested for some crime, escape authorities, and become a rogue ninja and join the akatasuki whilst somehow getting info about the akatsuki back to konoha. she typically falls in love with whoever she’s partnered with
  • the akatasuki actually need a medic nin to heal itachi’s eyes, so they decide to kidnap tsunade’s apprentice and force her to heal them and keep her forever. sakura typically either falls in love with itachi or with a diff member.
  • usually these above akatsuki fics have two ways of being handled: the characters are all p in character for what we’ve seen on screen or what is usually done– sakura sees the akatsuki as a bunch of goofballs that are actually nice af and konan is like a mother figure
  • sakura finds a box of cats outside her house and decides to take them in. these cats are usually the akatsuki
  • ‘The Future of Mrs Sakura ____’ au where every sakura ship is explored as this fortune teller person shows sakura her various futures with different guys and girls she could be married too. usually these fics are forever incomplete
  • sasuke is back in the village and is super flirtatious with sakura but sakura isn’t looking for love but finds it with someone else who isn’t sasuke. typically neji and sakura and neji support naruhina by being like chaperones on their dates cuz hiashi said thats the only way naruto and hinata can start courting each other
  • sasuke is back in the village, but this time sakura, hinata, ino, tenten, and typically temari shows up too, are all tired of their love lives/crushes so the girls decide to all date someone else. this is either super good or meh. best one i’ve ever read is Three Months y’all should read it, its 50 chapters long but bawse af
  • sakura goes back in time to prevent obito from dying and to save the future because the war is going shit and they’re side is losing. but sakura somehow falls for minato. she either knows who he is and is trying to get him to hook up with kushina but her arrival to the past fucked shit up so he isn’t into kushina anymore or kushina dumped him. or, sakura doesn’t know who minato is and they have a lot of sexual tension going on. naruto is usually brought up a lot of times and minato has this huge sense of jealousy and dislike of this naruto guy, which is amusing to the reader because we know that naruto is his son
  • another time travel fic but sakura has been chosen by some celestial being to change the past of someone who she subsequently falls in love with. like this fic Lost Year where she was trying to prevent Sasori from joining akatsuki it was p cute actually
  • modern rivalry au where sakura, hinata, ino, and tenten are in a band and sasuke, naruto, shikamaru, and neji are in a band
  • sakura, hinata, ino, or tenten wake up in the future where they are married to naruto usually and they have kids and everyone’s an adult.
  • after some incident between suna and konoha, temari is used as a peace offering for an arranged marriage. usually with either naruto or shikamaru
  • canon divergence where after the failed sasuke retrieval thing went down and kakashi was on his way to taking naruto back to konoha, they stumble upon tayuya who miraculously survived the attack and is taken back to konoha and she falls in love with naruto and vice versa. or maybe shikamaru
  • canon divergence where orochimaru took naruto under his wing by ‘saving’ him from his cruel fellow villagers and raising him in oto. naruto is good friends with the sound ninja 4/5 but he goes back to konoha for a spy mission. either falls for kin, tayuya, hinata, or sakura
  • canon divergence au where sakura’s parents died when she was young and was taken in by the akatsuki because konan’s motherly instincts kicked in and she convinced pein [the orange haired yahiko version b4 nagato’s big reveal] to let them keep her. usually titled smth like the akatsuki’s hime/princess/cherry/etc. she goes back to konoha for an infiltration mission if its planned for her to fall for sasuke, naruto, or neji instead of the usual akatsuki members if they just view her as their cute daughter/niece/sister
  • same as the above but it was hinata instead and the hyuga clan was wiped out by the akatsuki but konan couldn’t bring herself to kill this one baby that was in the arms of a dying woman
  • canon divergence where sakura is taken under orochimaru’s wing as a kid and goes back to konoha
  • sakura catches the attention of tobi who likes her a lot and they sneak around to meet and this way before it was confirmed tobi was obito or madara so there was like a shit ton of speculation
  • canon divergence where naruto was the one who saved karin from… wth was it a bear?? but that was before karin was revealed to be naruto’s cousin so after the reveal a lot of those fics were either deleted or forever incomplete

did i leave anything out? anyone else remember these tropes??

I Got You - Brett Talbot x Reader

Originally posted by holyhalehottness

Pairing: Brett x Reader

Prompt: Unrequited loves a bitch but Brett is your prefect distraction. (Inspired by I Got You – Bebe Rexha)

Warning: Smut, getting high, slight angst and swearing.

ENJOY!!

*****

You smiled over at the pack as you spoke to your boyfriend. You laughed at something Sean, tucking your hair behind your ear. After a few heated kisses with him he said he was going to speak to his friend so you made you way over to the pack. Lydia was looking at you with a smirk as soon as you arrived. You smiled and started to speak to Kira and Lydia about what everyone was doing over the weekend.

Keep reading

guys but listen

  • so after the foxes win everyone starts paying attention to them
  • suddenly the press is all over their social media and wants them on talk shows and panels all the time
  • and they do it bc they could use some good publicity tbh and they rly need a bigger team
  • one day allison (her and neil are bffs now dont fight me on this i s2g) is watching tv w neil and he is rly into what’s happening and she pulls out her sc and starts taking a video
  • she holds the camera so both their faces show and goes “hey neil” and and when he starts to look over she kisses him on the cheek (allison reynolds does not give 2 shits about neil’s scars and she’s gonna show every1)
  • the video ends just as neil smiles
  • ppl on the internet lose their shit !! this video is everywhere
  • allison moved on from seth and NEIL JOSTEN is dating a teammate
  • so they go on a lowkey trashy talk show (and everyone warns neil to keep his mouth shut)
  • the lady is like “so neil i hear ur in a relationship with one of ur teammates”
  • all the foxes hold their breath he’s too unpredictable
  • wymack takes a drink
  • andreil arent hiding anything really they just dont do pda so neil is like “oh ya we like to keep our relationship private tho lets talk about exy”
  • and she is like “well it didnt look like you were keeping it private when allison posted this on her sc” and she plays the video
  • all the foxes start laughing except kevin, andrew, and aaron
  • allison is literally losing her shit and matt has trouble breathing for a few seconds
  • and the lady is like “…um did i miss something haha”
  • and nicky takes pity on her “we’re just laughing bc neil and allison are definitely not dating sry”
  • and she is like “???????????? but ur still dating a teammate”
  • kevin quickly redirects the conversation back to exy bc they do not have the time to sit here and talk about andreil’s love life jfc
  • she cant get anything else out of them
  • so ppl are just losing their minds for like a week trying to figure out who neil is dating when renee posts a pic on instagram of them w the caption “neil drove me to lunch and paid for my meal” ((they actually talk about andrew lol))
  • and now every1 is like omg !! this is it!!
  • so the foxes are doing a panel and they get through a decent amount of exy related questions and then
  • “i have a question for neil. would u like to comment on ur relationship w renee walker??”
  • “id like to comment that my relationship w renee is that we r good friends and that id like to talk about exy now”
  • they cant get anything else out of anyone
  • so now ppl rly confused bc neil is a Straight Man and only Dan is left but her and Matt are very publicly dating 
  • what kind of sexual deviancy is this ??????????? is neil josten engaging in some kind of polyamorous relationship with his teammates?????? no one can answer
  • ok so next talk show 
  • this woman barely gets the introductions out before she leaps right in
  • “neil are you currently in a relationship with dan wilds despite the fact that she is dating matt boyd?” 
  • neil has had enough
  • this boy just wants to play exy hes too old for this
  • he just stares at her
  • he cant even speak like who is this woman??
  • he didnt ask to dismantle heteronormativity in america but apparently he has to
  • “i dont have a gf”
  • she stares back
  • “are you no longer in a relationship with one of your teammates as you previously stated?????”
  • the foxes are getting worried neil might kill her
  • it’s getting very hard not to laugh
  • neil stares a little longer
  • “i dont have a gf
  • the host’s eyes widen
  • the audience goes silent
  • “am i to understand that neil josten, breakout exy player of the year, has just come out??”
  • ppl start clapping (some ppl boo and nicky starts to flip them off before kevin grabs his hand)
  • this woman has just gotten one of the best stories of her life on live television
  • she cant stop smiling
  • once again kevin steers the conversation back to exy (even when he isnt insulting ppl why does neil always have to cause problems ??) and doesnt let her go back
  • there’s wild speculation about which boy he’s dating bc it doesnt makes sense ?????/
  • aaron has been seen kissing katelyn after games
  • kevin and thea are now officially dating
  • nicky is v vocal about his bf (like 12 times a day on twitter)
  • matt and dan are definitely still dating
  • andrew is not capable of relationships ????? and him and neil hate each other ???/
  • the answer comes 3 weeks later
  • they are all in the girls’ room for a movie night
  • everyone but renee is slightly drunk
  • allison and renee take a cute pic
  • in the background u can kinda see neil asleep on andrew who in a rare display of affection actually has a hand in his hair
  • allison notices right before she posts it on instagram but andreil have already said that they arent rly trying to hide their relationship they just arent going to go out of their way just for crazy talk show hosts
  • and DAMN
  • the way they are leaning against each other is unmistakable (esp in light of recent news) 
  • neil josten and andrew minyard are in a relationship?????? have been in a relationship?????? the ppl need confirmation
  • neil’s twitter (that he uses to retweet exy players and occasionally start fights w them) is being blown up
  • finally he goes on twitter and makes his first original tweet 
  • “Andrew is my boyfriend.”
  • twitter literally explodes and “andreil” is trending for a week
Sweet as Marilyn, Cold as Cleopatra

****Long post alert***. This is primarily for the asks rotting in my inbox for months. Apologies! I have been MIA from Tumblr and the bowl for a while now (sick). Anyway, the title of this post pays homage to two seductresses I admire a lot. My sugar daddies who have been great mentors. The horrible men I’ve dated who have equally taught me a lot. And Robert Greene (author of Art of Seduction and Mastery. Great books. READ them!),You become a master by observing first. Analyze. Learn. Practice. Experiment. Apply. Transform.  "When you learn the rules, you can dominate".

Lesson 1: Seduction is more psychological than physical. The physical aspect of it is important as well. That’s it’s own category. But when you understand what your sugar daddy truly wants, you can (dare I say, ) “manipulate” him better. Anyone can be seductive. From skinny to bbw to medium size to giant scar on your forehead. You can succeed as a sugar baby. You just have to understand how to play the game and yes, I do think it’s all a game. So next time your sugar daddy yaps about his robust, lazy wife who may or may not be fucking the foreign gardener and spends 9 hours at the country club; and his cocaine addicted son at Harvard, LISTEN. He wants a shoulder, so be that. The key here is to show that support, care, and understanding but at the same time, don’t tangle yourself in the drama that you become his on-call therapist. Don’t call him at 10pm at night to check up on him. Unless he’s willing to pay you $800 per hour. When you understand what a person wants/how their mind operates, you can cater to their needs/deal with them better. OBSERVE. When you master psychological seduction, you will be well on your way.

Lesson 2: Be mysterious/intriguing. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were a fetus, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, at least in the initial stages. If you dropped out of college when you were still in the womb, keep it to yourself. When you reveal too much of yourself, you tire/bore people and eventually become forgettable. Everyone has a story. So save your sob story and ex boyfriend drama for the struggling author down the street who has been having writer’s block for the past 15 years.  What does Cleopatra,Marilyn Monroe, and Casanova all have in common? Mystery/leaving something to the imagination. These women/man armed themselves with an air of mystery that left those in their wake yearning for more. I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie as one of the most beautiful women on earth. But man there’s something about her that makes Hollywood go crazy. She shares bits of herself and her life but there’s always that edge of mystery. She leaves you wondering what’s going on behind the *is it fake or is it not fake* lips/smile. The key is timing. Don’t share too much.  Keep them guessing. No need for your sugar daddy or pot to know what cards you have up your sleeves. By sharing too much, you make yourself seem needy and DESPERATE. No bueno.

Lesson 3: Don’t always be available. I used to make this mistake, especially when I liked a guy. Never lasted long in my opinion. So I learned and changed tactics and mannnnn things definitely changed. Sometimes, saying NO works more in your favor. I don’t care if you’re bored out of your mind at home and counting the cobwebs on your ceiling. An occasional NO will put a sugar daddy in his place. It will tell him that you’re not at his beck and call. It will also tell him that you have other priorities outside of sugaring. Your life/time does not revolve around him. If he’s that interested in you, trust me, he will reschedule and work with you. Don’t turn into Mrs.NO to Everything but learn how to use it when applicable. This ties in a bit with mystery. When you say no and he asks what your plans for the day are, cultivate a story if you don’t have legit plans! You can say that you’re going on a short getaway with a group of girlfriends, going on a spa treatment for yourself only, etc. The key here is to appear that you have a fun, adventurous life outside. Your time is PRECIOUS.

Lesson 3.5: Create respectable distance. This ties in with 3. By creating respectable distance, you are again putting a sugar daddy in his place. You need space because you have a life. It will command his respect. The thing about a lot of men is that they loveeee a challenge. Especially wealthy men, who are used to having whatever they desire. By giving him what he wants, whenever he wants it, he will exploit that and before you know it, he will detach and disappear (which a lot of guys do). When you challenge him, it will drive him crazy. It will keep him on edge. He will come back for more. So treat yourself like a rare gem. There are vultures out here. So when you play into his wishes easily, well… easy come, easy goes.And before they go, they will devour you completely. When you allow him to insert himself in every aspect of your life, he will probably take advantage of you. The key here is to create enough distance that he’ll keep wondering about you but not so much that he completely forgets you. This can be tricky but it is not impossible.

Lesson 4: Confidence. I’m one of those people who believe that while some have innate confidence, others have to learn it. So if need be, LEARN confidence. It takes time and patience. Trial/error. Note what your shortcomings are and practice on bettering yourself. It could range from repeating daily mantras to yourself to changing a specific look about you, practice! practice! Note what your strengths are and USE it to your advantage. Again practice!  Marilyn Monroe wasn’t always a sultry, seductress. In fact, from her appearance, her voice, her make-up, to her persona, she had to practice it all to master it, especially in public. It took her years, but she eventually morphed into one of the most iconic seductresses of all time.

Lesson 5: Be bold/ assertive. There is a fine line between boldness/assertiveness and Mrs.Yes. It is okay to voice your interests, opinions, dislikes, etc. It is equally okay to disagree with something your sugar daddy says/wants. The key is to do it respectfully. Don’t try so hard to please him that you agree to everything (including things that make you uncomfortable). If he wants you to have sex with his bald, hairy micro-human friend from the country club and the idea makes your vagina retract in disgust, SPEAK UP. Don’t be Mrs. Yes because it can be dangerous to you. Plus you will give him the upper hand.

Lesson 6: Be playful. You don’t have to be serious 24/7. Make effective use of body language by using eye contact, touch, smiling, etc.Position your posture in such a way that you appear comfortable but not slouching. Engage him in fun activities sometimes. Show him what you enjoy doing/try to learn what he enjoys as well. I remember when I first took my sugar daddy to a rave. He was soooo out of place with his expensive ass suit but we had such a good laugh. It was fun. It is also okay to flirt and tease but do not over do it. . If he tells you of his former beauty queen ex wife who divorced him, took half his wealth, and got full custody of the kids, it will NOT be a good time to start flirting then or batting your eye lashes. The key is to know when to be playful and when to engage in a serious conversation with him.

Lesson 7: Stroke his ego occasionally, especially when he’s a good boy. Let him know you enjoy his company, his time, what he gives you, etc. It’s tough to balance but you don’t want to seem like you can’t do without the lifestyle he grants you. Remember, you are accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. Men like feeling like protectors, especially wealthy men. So stroke that big fat ego and let him think it. When he misbehaves, adjust accordingly. 

Lesson 8: If all else fails, create/channel an alter-ego. It sounds somewhat extreme but I have one. I created a whole new persona for myself. When I first started out four plus years ago, I appeared too innocent. And that was my biggest weakness. My naivete showed and definitely I was taken advantage of and cheated but I learned. FAST. Soon after, I stopped telling men I was inexperienced. I stopped allowing myself to appear innocent. I became a chameleon.The person I am with sugar daddies/ on pot dates is completely different from the girl I am at home/school/work/with friends. With these men, I am a worldly, experienced WOMAN. I am used to ultra-luxury and deserve nothing but the best. Of course at home/elsewhere, I am a girl/ nursing student who studies a bit too much, curses a bit too much, enjoys being wild with friends and plans on attending medical school to become a psychiatrist. Find what works for you and channel her. We all have inner goddesses and seductresses in us. 

Lesson 9: “Be nice, be nice. Until it’s time to stop being nice…" Okay, this sounds psycho meets fatal-attraction-esque but no worries! know when to curse a  pompous, disrespectful son of a bitch out. Seriously, know when to walk away. Channel your inner Cleopatra/Bitchery and crush his ass. Do not be afraid to stomp an arrogant asshole out of existence (figuratively of course). I don’t care but no amount of money is worth being disrespected. If you allow a man to disrespect and treat you like a common commodity, he will not stick around for long. He will use, abuse, and break you. And frankly, You DO NOT deserve that. If he calls you a racial slur ( and claims it’s a joke, LIES), forces himself on you, disrespects you in anyway hurtful and dehumanizing, among other things, WALK THE FUCK AWAY and report the incident to authorities if the action warrants it. And let your middle finger do the rest of the talking. 

**All in all, I hope this helps someone out here. Remember, what works for one person make not work for you. But you can still learn from others around you** And that my friends, is the most important lesson of all.

xoxo

M

{Special} College!AU Doyoung
  • major: pre-law / concentration: business law
  • minor: comparative literature 
  • sports: sometimes he says he’ll join tennis team to be closer to taeyong and taeyong begs him not to do that. anything but that.
  • clubs: book review club, uni orchestra 
  • everyone knows doyoung as a talker, he talks really well and no matter what he never seems to get nervous when there’s a crowd listening to him
  • which is why when he says “lawyer” everyone is like,,,,,,,,,,of course
  • his original plan was to become a professor because he likes books and discussion on literature
  • like,,,,no joke he’s always staying thirty minutes late debating on theories in books with all his teachers
  • and some teachers love it while others are like doyoung please i am just a teacher i need to go- and he’s like “have you considered that moby dick is actually trash? here’s 54 reasons why:-”
  • his older brother is an alumni of the school and everyone is like oh ~ you’re gong myungs brother??? and everyone in the pre-med department always wants to talk to doyoung about gong myung and doyoung is like yes. he went on to be a doctor. no. he isn’t married. no he ISNT LOOKING- 
  • he lovessss to bother taeyong when they all go out to eat and he’s just like “more handsome every day i see?” and taeyong is like someone save me. sicheng. yuta-
  • but doyoung just throws his arms around taeyong and is like ^^ let’s study together!~~~ and taeyong is dying but everyone else is living because it’s so funny,,,,
  • dorms with jaehyun and everyone is like wow,,,they’re so mature they’re probably in there studying and being studios students!!!!
  • while in reality they’re sitting on the floor playing video games and doyoung is betting jaehyun all his lunch credits for the weekend on some wii sports resort golf
  • but he really does give off the studios vibe,,,because out of everyone on campus he dresses so???? formally like
  • you’ll never catch him in sweatpants and a big t-shirt (see: taeil) like doyoung wears collar shirts, those dad pants that are jeans but made of corduroy??? maybe a tie if he’s feeling it,,,,,, flip flops on campus? he’d rather DIE he’s wearing those oxfords and u know it!
  • is lowkey trying to give advice to e v e r y o n e like “mark,,,,,i know ur going to soccer but wear knee pads - i don’t care if you’ve been playing for ten years sweetie” to “johnny. that color of green on you is ugly.”
  • people find him intimidating because yes,,,,,he can be straightforward and blunt
  • but,,,,he’s a sweetheart who looks like a curious kid with round eyes and a kind smile 
  • and as much  as taeyong might spend running away from doyoungs affection,,,,he loves having him around because doyoung never makes anything awkward
  • he’s a natural leader tbh and he can make a conversation out of nothing it’s crazy,,,,,,,
  • and you,,,,,,know who doyoung is because you’re friends with ten who is always telling about how much he LOVES doyoung
  • how silly he is,,,,,how fun he is,,,,,how he acts like a cute bunny sometimes
  • and you,,,,,do not get it
  • because you’ve seen doyoung and the way he looks so sharp and intellectual and how when he talks he sounds like he knows,,,,,,everything
  • you’re not even sure you’ve seen doyoung laugh
  • and ten shows you the pics on his instagram of doyoung laughing,,,hand over mouth,,,looking silly with hair a mess and soft skin,,,,
  • but you’re like,,,,,,,you’re still sorta intimidated by him you just??? don’t get how someone can be so naturally good at being social and confident
  • and ten waves it off he’s like doyoung has his insecurities too,,,you know he IS human too??
  • and you’re like nope,,,too handsome- i mean too smart to be human
  • and ten hears the handsome but pretends not to and you’re like coughing into your palm because leTS not admit that maybe you’re intimidated because you know if you spoke to doyoung you’d become a blubbering mess
  • because wow he’s ,,,,,,,,,, attractive ,,,,,,,,, and so much more intelligent that anyone you know TT 
  • that is until one day you’re looking down at your homework, stoic expression and ten throws his bag down beside you on the quad and sits down and is like whats up
  • and ur like,,,,,,,,,i have to give a speech for a class,,,,,,,,ten,,,,,,,i cant
  • and ten,,,,looks like christmas came early or something because he’s like DOYOUNG
  • and you’re like ?????? what about hi-
  • and ten is like DOYOUNG CAN HELP YOU OMG this is great you two can finally meet and fall in lo- i mean help each other ok ill introduce you right now let me text him
  • you aren’t fast enough to stop ten’s exited hands and before you can grab his phone ten is like sent!!!!!! 
  • and ur like ten,,,i don’t wanna bother him or an-
  • ten: doyoung says he’d love to help!! he’ll meet you in the library at 7
  • and u just sit there,,,,looking at ten whose give u the mOST GIDDY expression
  • and ur like fine ok and u get up and ten is like its gonna be grEAT and ur like,,,,,a little nervous because u,,,,,,have never been around doyoung,,,,,,,,
  • and ur like ten come with m-
  • but then u hear the familiar voice of johnny calling ten over and ten is like id love to but i gtg and johnny comes jogging over like whats going on
  • and ten is like “they’re going on a blind date~ except it’s not blind im hooking them up with doyoung”
  • and you’re like TEN I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT DID U JUST SAY
  • and johnny is like HEY cool doyoung and you would look cu-
  • and ur like so red u can feel it like a damn sunburn on ur face and ur like stomping away before johnny can finish
  • shaking your head and ten is just like LOVE WILL BLOSSOM
  • but ur just likea mess in ur head because this dumb speech,,,,dumb ten,,,,dumb e m o t i o n s because once u come to terms with the fact that u have to see doyoung
  • like up close ,,,, and personal,,,,,,,,,,
  • ur heart cant stop doing leaps,,,,,,,,,,how c*rny 
  • and 7 comes around much faster than expected and you’re in the library,,,,sure that doyoung wont be there right on time-
  • but he is,,,,,of course he is
  • and he’s sitting there,,,,,striped button down,,,,neatly laid out notebook and pen,,,,,,pretty side profile as he looks over something on is phone,,,,and wow his hands,,,fingers so long and pretty
  • ok snap out of it cmon
  • and somehow you manage to force yourself to go over there,,,,,doyoung looks up and you feel your legs turn to jello as he smiles and stands up as well putting his hand out to shake yours and introduce himself
  • LIKE you don’t know who he is but u stummer out ur own response and doyoung sits back down and puts his hands together and is like well! speech writing is tough but ive given a couple of them so i think i can be of use to u!
  • and ur like,,,,,not even sure what to say because what the HECK he makes u so nervous and its like chill he’s just another person,,,,a goofy person according to ten,,,,,,,,
  • but doyoung just smiles kindly and goes “is there anything you specifically need help with?”
  • and before you can even think you just blurt out; “ i can’t,,,,,,,,,talk”
  • and doyoung blinks but lets out a small laugh,,,,covering his mouth with his hand and he’s like “well yes you can, you just did. also,,,”
  • he leans over the table a bit and ur heart literally goes ! and he motions to his lips and he’s like “you have a mouth, and you can make noise, so i think you’re good on that. any other problems?”
  • and you’re like,,,,,dsfklsf,,,,,,,,, “i,,,,i just cant do it in front of people,,,,,lots of people.”
  • doyoung sits back and with a knowing nod says that that is a problem for a lot of people,,,,,but that instead of worrying about that you should first work on writing the speech
  • embarrassingly you admit that you havent and doyoung just grins and is like that’s why im here to help, so tell me about your class
  • and yes,,,,you’re nervous,,,,,but doyoung somehow makes it really easy for you to explain what you want to do because he’s ,,,,, just so good at making things understandable
  • and he’s ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, sweet
  • a part of you had always just assumed he’d be the kind of straightforward, blunt, cold kind of personality
  • but even with his slight jokes and his corrections and critique like,,,,doyoung isn’t mean or even off-putting
  • and your nervousness isn’t about asking him for help or even the speech anymore,,,,,it’s more of just,,,,,,,,,,,that feeling of a crush,,,,
  • when it hits ten though doyoung apologizes and says he has to go because of another late study group he has and you shake your head telling him he’s helped you aLOT
  • but before he leaves he pulls out a page from his book and hands it to you,,,,on it is his email and cell and he’s like send me your speech and ill look it over and we can decide another time to meet to talk about it
  • and ur so,,,,shocked you go “you- this isn’t a one time thing?” and doyoung grins again,,,,,,,,,that smile of his,,,,,,,,,,,and he’s like “did ten tell you im some kind of flake? really,,,,that guy,,,,,of course it isn’t a one time thing i said im going to help, right?”
  • and you want to tell him that no no ten has only said that he’s great,,,but you’re still shy and doyoungs smile and kindness is making it even harder to respond 
  • before you know it doyoung is halfway out of the library, turning to wave and you’re so caught up that when you lift your hand to wave back he’s gone
  • and you mumble to yourself that you forgot to thank him,,,,,,you really should
  • ofc the next day ten practically forces you to sit down and tell him e v e r y last detail and you’re like he,,,,,,,,,,,,,,doyoung is nice
  • and ten is like I TOLD YOU he can be a pain in the ass with his sarcastic comments but he has a good heart
  • and ur like,,,,,,,,,,,,ten and ten is like hmm and ur like ten i think ive always had a crush on him like those ‘ill admire u from afar kinda things but ten,,,,oh my god i think i might start liking him seriously if he really is this sweet”
  • and ten damn near spits out his iced coffee but he just grabs your hands and is like YESSSSS I HAVE AWAITED THIS MOMENT 
  • and you’re like wkfgfjr what and he’s like please ur lil crush was more than obvious but wow,,,,,,,,,,,a love on campus,,,,,a tutor and his student,,,,,,,,just like a drama i love it
  • and ur like ten please its not like he’ll like me - and ten is just like shh we just need to wait and see
  • and,,,,doyoung follows up on his promise. even in his tight schedule he finds the time to sit down and read over your speech and send you edits or meet up in person to talk
  • sure a couple of times you’ve had to meet him in the city at one of his internships,,,,,once you had to come over to the orchestra recital hall to talk to him,,,,,,then there was that time you meet outside a hospital???? that apparently doyoung’s brother was working in
  • and ,,,,, every time doyoung never failed to show you how much he was putting effort into really helping you
  • from having you read out loud to him and telling you ways to get over nervousness to fixing small grammar errors and helping with vocabulary
  • you could really see,,,,,,his intellect and social skills and,,,there probably isn’t anyone better on campus to help you than him
  • and finally as the date of your speech approaches doyoung suggests reading the speech in front of him and a couple of friends
  • so you end up all cramped into a small study room,,,,doyoung, ten, johnny, taeyong, yuta, winwin, taeil, mark, haechan, and jaehyun,,,,,and ur hands are shaking a bit 
  • but doyoung reaches out,,,smiling and somehow your body calms down and you go through your whole speech without a single mistake and doyoung is just like wah,,,,do you all see this??? my work has paid off,,,,,,they’re perfect!
  • and he gets up throwing an arm around you and pulling you into his side
  • and ten winks and ur like GFgFDSS
  • but,,,,,,,when you look up to see doyoung looking so happy you can’t help but feel that being right there beside him,,,,,,is a spot you want to keep
  • the day of your speech doyoung sends you a text of encouragement,,,,,a picture of him giving you the thumbs up too and you smile and go into class much more confident than you ever thought you’d be
  • ,,,,,,the speech,,,,,,it’s great
  • you do so well you even manage to surprise your teacher and when you’re out you practically skip out of class,,,,taking your phone out to text doyoung that you did it!!! you got the A!!!!!
  • but,,,,,when you meet up with ten later he kind of bites back his lip when you bring up doyoung because apparently,,,,,,,he’s not feeling to good
  • and you’re like he’s sick??? and ten sighs and is like,,,no it’s just he has this really big speech of his own coming up,,,,it’s for his brothers alumni party,,,,,,,,,he said it wasn’t going to stress him but it turns out a couple of law school recruiters are going to be there so it’s messing a bit with his confidence
  • and you frown,,,,knowing doyoung,,,,,you’ve never seen him falter in his self worth and you decide that he helped you so you’re going to go help him
  • so with ten’s instructions you find yourself in front of doyoungs dorm,,,,a box of white chocolate cake,,,,,,and your heart going a thousand miles an hour
  • and you knock only to hear some kind of noise from the inside and the door opening by itself
  • and you can see doyoung’s shoulders hunched over at his desk and quietly you let yourself be known,,,,doyoung turning around in his chair,,,,bags under his eyes and you’re like “ten,,,,,told me about your speech” and he just waves his hand as if to brush it off
  • and is like “what about you - did it go well?” and you wonder ,,, maybe he didn’t look at his phone,,,,,,didn’t see your text so you nod and you’re like i couldn’t have done it without you
  • and doyoung smiles but its small and wavering and you’re like “doyoung,,,,,i ,,,,,i want to thank you for being there for me and helping me,,,,,,, i,,,,,,”
  • a sudden surge of adrenaline makes you stand a little straighter and you can’t believe you’re going to say this but you do
  • “and i was wondering if we could go ,,,,out ,,,,,on a date,,,,,sometime,,,”
  • you open your mouth to say that you’ll even treat since he’s given you so much of his time but doyoung’s eyes darken
  • and before you can he goes “im sorry. school will always come first for me.”
  • it’s not,,,,,a harsh rejection or anything,,,,,,,,,it isn’t even unexpected
  • but doyoung’s voice sounds so cold and heavy that you cant help but feel choked up,,,,,rather than that embarrassed too,,,,,and you look at him
  • doyoungs eyes shifting to the cake in your hands and then back to your face,,,but for the first time he doesn’t look you in the eyes
  • instead he turns back in his chair, tells you he needs to go back to preparing and that if you could close the door tightly on your way out that’d be good
  • you,,,,,don’t budge for a moment but when you come to you drop the cake on his bed and mumble out “it’s for you.” and do as you’re told, leaving the dorm eyes wet with tears
  • and ten doesn’t believe you when you tell him it,,,,,,,, he says that doesnt sound like doyoung,,,,,like yes he’s always putting school first and whatnot but doyoung would never,,,,,,,,,he’d never be so curt
  • but you just tell ten that there isn’t any use in lying,,,,,,,what would doyoung find in you anyway and ten seems ready to lecture you again but the look on your face makes him stop
  • and you tell ten that it doesn’t matter,,,,,,, a crush isn’t anything anyway
  • the rest of the month goes by slowly,,, you still have lots of your own work to concentrate on and you don’t think about the unanswered text from doyoung 
  • you try not to at least,,, ,and your other friends distract you,,,, ten does his best too and you’re happy even though seeing doyoung on campus still makes your heart sink
  • but you don’t expect that you’d be sitting in study hall one interview and you’d get a call from ten 
  • “can you come down to outside the main faculty building? doyoung - just come ok?”
  • confused you pack your things and make way to the big building at the end of the campus ,,,,, when you call ten and text him where he is there isn’t any response and you furrow your eyebrows wondering what the hell this is about
  • until the door opens and you turn “ten what the he-”
  • doyoung’s tall, lean frame comes stumbling toward you,,,,exhaustion and sadness apparent in his face
  • and you barely get your arms out in time to catch him 
  • the warmth of his face against your neck makes your body react and quietly as he stands there in your arms you ask whats going on
  • and doyoung doesn’t say much,,,face rubbing slightly against your neck and you don’t know what you should do 
  • finally he pulls back and you reach up to fix the hair thats gotten into his eyes
  • doyoung takes your hand though and while looking at you goes; “i was wrong.”
  • and you’re like ???? about what
  • doyoung doesn’t look like he has the words yet and he can’t say anything because the door opens and for the first time before you is gong myung
  • “doyoung, the speech-”
  • you look at him,,,doyoungs eyes squeezing shut and he’s like “brother i can-”
  • but you just grab his shoulders and smile at gong myung telling him doyoung will be back in a couple of minutes
  • slightly confused gong myung disappears back inside and you realize that this is the big alumni speech ten had told you about and you’re like “doyoung,,,,c’mon you’re the one who told me that i can,,,,i can because i can speak and i have a mouth right - so do you doyoung you’re the most eloquent person i have ever met what is going-”
  • your paused with the feeling of doyoung’s lips on yours,,,unmoving he stays like that for a while and your mind blanks
  • doyoung pulls back only to tell you that it’s not the speech,,,it’s the thoughts ,,,,, the thoughts about you
  • about how he blamed school just because he was too scared to just say yes,,,,
  • and you’re not sure what - but then it hits u and you’re like,,,,,,,,doyoung,,,,,,,,nOW iS NOT tHE T ime TO WORRY ABOUT thAT
  • and doyoung is like !?@#@?#$? but i was so mean i did want to go on that date wit-
  • and you’re like OK COOL WE WILL BUT SERIOUSLY ARE YOU BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER THAT 
  • and doyoung is like yES I THOUGHT I HURT YOU
  • and you’re like PLEASE ITS FINE NOW JUST FORGET IT AND GO UP THERE AND MAKE YOUR BROTHER PROUD
  • doyoung’s face brightens,,,,,the sparkle in his eyes returns and you shake your head because god ten was right this,,,,this boy really is kind,,,,,,even behind that constant confidence and laugh,,,he really thinks about the people around him
  • and doyoung is like i can do it. im gonna go in there and kill that speech.
  • and you’re like YES you will!!!! i believe in you!!!!
  • giving a little fist pump doyoung grins and turns to the door,,,only to spin on his heel back to you
  • holding your face with both his hands and kissing you once more before disappearing back inside
  • you wait a bit and your phone goes off with just a winky emoji from ten and you’re like huh but the doors open again and doyoung comes running out
  • arms engulfing you in another hug that leaves you blushing when he pulls back and behind him is a smug looking nct ,,,,, esp ten whose face basically screaming: I SAID SOOO
  • but also gong myung,,,, and you take like three steps away from doyoung because igflkdfsd skinship in front of his brother no no no
  • and gong myung is like “is this the person who made my brother such a mess?” and you’re like,,,,,,,,oh my god how do i answer that
  • and doyoung is like “dont make me bring up your significant other from high school brother.” and gong myung is like WELL I HAVE TO GO NOW
  • and doyoung comes closer and is like “so,,,,about that date? are you free now?”
  • and you’re like akjsfdf shouldnt you go with your brother and all the important alumn-
  • and doyoung shrugs and is like “i think my speech blew them away, now i have to mysteriously disappear and keep them guessing - right?”
  • you almost outright roll your eyes at the thought but also,,,,,you ARE free,,,,,,so,,,,,
  • taeyong as he watches you and doyoung giggling together: thank god he found someone to distract him
  • ten: i agree,,,,but also isn’t seeing him happy making you kinda happy ;)
  • taeyong: suddenly i cant read and i must go bye
  • anyway doyoung and you go grab some drinks and take a walk at a nearby park,,,,,even though it’s simple it’s kind of the perfect first date
  • doyoung insists that he’ll take you somewhere better but he needs time to plan and you’re like it’s ok,,,,these kinds of things are my favorite
  • and he smiles a bit and you’re like,,,,you’re thinking of something arent you?
  • and reaching out for your hand doyoung whispers “these kinds of things,,,,,,like just being by each others side?”
  • and you bite back your lip,,, stuttering because,,,,,,,ok,,,,,,,how can he just boldly say that?!?!?!
  • but doyoung finds it adorable and pulls you closer and is like “i like it too, i like having you here. when you weren’t around anymore,,,,,,it felt,,,,,empty.”
  • and ok ten is like,,,,,,,,,he is your biggest fan he literally sits you and doyoung down the next day and is like “i bless this marriage” “ten we aren’t-” “i bless this marriage but doyoung oh my god if you do anything to hurt them i will personally shave your head in your sleep and leak every video i have of you singing in the shower do not test me.”
  • but everyone else is happy too,,,,,yuta is like DAMN i didnt expect this and doyoung is like why not and yuta is like because you’re so uptight about everything. mr school is my life. mr school is my significant other. mr. school and i kissed for the first ti-
  • doyoung with his hand over yutas mouth: we geT IT narcisist nakamoto 
  • the only normal one about the situation is taeil but he’s also like be careful doyoung is sly~ a real playboy~
  • and you’re like really?!??!
  • and winwin is like yEAH all the old ladies from the campus cafeteria say hes the perfect son in law. he has all of them swooned.
  • you; oh. you meant that kind of playboy LOL
  • doyoung is,,,,everything you expect him to be as a boyfriend: caring, and helpful
  • but,,,,also too caring + helpful sometimes with the way he keeps shrugging off his blazer or cardigan to throw around your shoulders because the library is cold or switching out your soda for water because we need to stay healthy
  • but he’s doing it from a place of love,,,he really is
  • teaches you note taking tricks and when he takes you supply shopping he’s like “you are super special to me which is why im telling you where to get the best highlighters in seoul and you cannot tell ANYONE. A N  Y O N E.”
  • doyoung’s fashion sense doesn’t change,,,, not even on dates to the movies or amusement parks or the beach
  • like you and the guys planned to do some night time fireworks and everyone showed up in basically their pajamas but doyoung? nope. the oxfords were still on,,,,,even in the goddamn sand
  • but doyoung,,,, is the life of the party he really makes everyone laugh and you,,,,,,,,get to have inside jokes with him
  • that always leave you laughing till your stomach hurts and doyoung has to pull you into his lap and apologize and ur like ,,,babe im not just laughing because it’s FUNNY and he’s like YES but im too funny. im too powerful. you need to control me
  • and you’re like blushing and somewhere johnny is probably like “i taught him that” JKJK 
  • doesn’t look like the type but is totally a late-night snacker
  • you two will sometimes meet just to eat convenience store bread and chips and talk about how college is the WORST with your legs entwined on the bench outside of the law department
  • and it’s like midnight no one is on campus but you and doyoung are perfectly ok in the dark munching away your problems together
  • doyoung thinks flowers are the most romantic thing and if he ever goes into the city and comes back he always comes back with flowers
  • and they’re different every time and you always get shy when he gives them to you because everyone around you is like ooooooo and doyoung is so proud of himself and you,,,,just melt how is he so cute
  • once,,,just to see his reaction,,, you brought him flowers and you gave them to him after class and it was his turn to get all shy and it was the best moment ever
  • you made taeil record the whole thing and whenever doyoung gets cheeky you just bring up the video and you’re like look. look here. you’re a giant cute baby dont even argue. look ur ears turned cherry red
  • isn’t a big clothing sharer but he wears glasses when studying sometimes so you steal them every now and then to wear and ,,,, doyoung thinks you look so cute in them that he just lets it happen tbh
  • sometimes though he’ll start an argument over it just to be like “let’s settle it with a tickle fight”,,,,,he just wants to tickle you tbh
  • doyoung sometimes narrates what you do to make you blush like if you’re doing some work on your laptop he’ll be like “and they look at the screen,,,concentrated,,,focused,,,looking hot and smart. i would kiss them if they weren’t so busy,,,” and it gets u everytime 
  • because you turn to look at him and doyoung leans over to get a kiss and ur like AH IM TRYING TO WORK and doyoung is like well switch of your cuteness then i cannot help myself 
  • sometimes he talks to himself and you love it like you love doyoungs voice so much,,,,
  • like when u just had a crush you thought it was nice but now it’s just music to your ears honestly
  • has pet names for you and calls you them in public because doyoung likes to show of your relationship
  • not corny enough for couple sweaters or anything but couple phone wallpapers are a must
  • admitted that he said to one of his professors that ever since he fell in love he’s kind of grown an interest in romantic novels and you’re like wait wait fell in love 
  • and doyoung is like yeah,,,,,i love you,,,is that not obvious?
  • and you almost fell out of your chair,,,, but,,,, you love him too of course,,,
  • you always tell his not to cover his laugh because he has a habit of putting his hand in front of is mouth and you’re like,,,,,,,,i love your smile and laugh dont hide it
  • and doyoung ,,,,, when you compliment him its like the whole world is just the two of you and doyoung just wants to hold you in his arms because ugh he loves you so damn much
  • doyoung is a good talker but he’s an even better kisser
  • and kisses turn from innocent pecks on each others lips while you’re over at his dorm to full blow make outs with doyoungs big hands under your shirt
  • and the books thrown off his desk,,,him standing between your legs and the feeling of your lip between his teeth,,,,
  • doyoung does have a soft spot,,,his spine,,,,and when you settle kisses down it it makes him shiver and he becomes so cutely submissive,,,,,
  • sometimes you’ll sneak up from behind and kiss right below the back of his neck and seriously doyoung almost faints LOL
  • he likes to cook for you if he has time,,,,he cant cook a lot but he has some dishes and also he looks so cute because he always hums to himself and its just,,,,,,,,,so nice and sweet of him
  • you guys vibe so well with each other that just walking around for hours without going anywhere is exciting for you two
  • just looking at the scenery, holding hands, and talking,,,,,makes you two happy
  • ten tells doyoung that you used to think he was stoic and mean and ur like tEN and doyoung is like really?????? do you still think that??? do you not love me???
  • and you have to kiss him like 9403 times before he stops whining and bringing it up and ur like side eyeing ten for this whose just like WHAT I THOUGHT HE SHOULD KNOW
  • plays his flute when he’s stressed and you keep pestering him to teach you but seriously ever since you started dating its too hard to do anything when you’re around each other because you’re both so in love that it just turns mushy and its like yes teach me how to play the flute but also come here and cuddle me kinda situation
  •  taeyong secretly misses all of doyoungs attention but at the same time he thinks you make doyoung a lot brighter and better and hes thankful,,,,,,,,,like really thankful
  • doyoung is the kind of boyfriend who when you trip over something he doesnt hide laughter but he helps you back up and scolds the twig you tripped over for hurting you LOL 

taeyong | yutabangtan | vixx | monsta x | got7 + kard + amber | seventeen