Just Friends ~ Going Home (part 28)
Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.
Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.
What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?
Warnings: swearing and a bit of sadness
We arrived back home very early this morning, saying goodbye was hard, Luke and I kissed -made out- then said ‘I love you’ and all that. It was also hard saying goodbye to the other boys, I miss them all so much already, I think they’ve got a week and a half left before they come back home.
Speaking of coming back home, I’ve been thinking of going back to England for a while. I know I’ve got school and stuff but it won’t be more than a week at least, I haven’t asked my parents yet. I’m just feeling a little home sick and I want to see my family.
I’ve slept pretty much all day, exhaustion finally catching me up, I don’t know how the boys do it.
I’m currently in my pyjamas, just some sleeping shorts and a loose fitting t-shirt crop top. Deciding to go and ask my mum to go to England. Dad isn’t currently home right now, he is working late.
“Hey mum,” I smile as I walk into the kitchen.
Grabbing some porridge and putting it into a saucepan. “Hello darl, you alright?” She asks.
I nod and pour some milk into the saucepan, placing it on the hob and turning it on.
“So I was thinking,” I start off.
“Oh dear.” She sighs and I stir my porridge.
“Could I go back to England for like a week at the least.” I question.
“Why?” She questions.
“Well I feel home sick, and I miss my little tykes.” I pout.
“You’ve got school darling, plus, where would you stay?” She asks.
“Uh, I don’t know, our house maybe?” Ignoring her first statement.
“A week won’t do much harm, Luke and I would skip for a week, maybe going in for a day.” I tell her.
“I knew it,” she says, “I don’t know doll, I mean I’m not entirely against it, but I’m worried for you.” She softly speaks.
“Mum I’m eighteen now.” I point out as I poor my porridge into a bowl and putting sugar in it, leaving it to cool down.
“I know, ask your father when he comes in.” She replies.
“Okay.” I sign and shrug.
“Do you even have the money to buy a flight?” She questions.
“I got dat YouTube money.” I say and pretend to push money off my hand, one by one.
“Oh right, of course.” She chuckles. “So how was tour?” She questions.
“Um, well it was alright, Luke and I decided to take a break, but it’s alright, we’re going to get back together again.” I blurt out.
“Since when did you guys go out anyway?” She asks, shocked written all over her face.
“Oh, yeah, um January.” I laugh.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Oh my gosh, finally.” She grins.
“Sorry, I guess we never had the time,” I shrug.
“You didn’t have enough time? All you guys do is lay around in my lounge, insulting each other, and eating my food.” She points out.
“Yeah…” I drag out, taking a spoon full of porridge.
“So how did it happen? Talk me through it.” Mum giggles like a teenage girl.
“Ugh, you sound like a teenage girl,” I laugh at her. “It all started in Dubai. Remember when Luke and I had that argument?” I ask and she nods. “Luke had a strop in his hotel room, I had a strop at the beach, then I went to apologise. We got into another argument, he kept stepping closer to me, I kept backing up until my back hit the wall. We were shouting at each other until our voices went soft, all of a sudden Luke just kisses me. Not to go into detail, but a while later Liz, Andy, dad, and you walk in, completely spoiling the mood.” I smile at the memory.
“That’s why you guys were giggling.” Mum chuckles.
“Sorry.” She laughs.
“Eh, but look how far we’ve come.”
I don’t know if I mean that in a good or bad way. We’ve got so far in a relationship, yet it’s not really there anymore.
“You guys will get back together, I guarantee it. Although I didn’t notice what you were like in a relationship with him, I sometimes had to remind myself that you guys weren’t dating. You guys are ment for each other, you’re soulmates.” She warmly smiles.
“I hope so.” I sigh.
“Ah, here comes your father.” She walks towards him.
She kisses his cheek and takes his coat off for him. They are literally couple goals. Besides from the age of 14 where they would argue all the time, then at 15 he ran off, but at age 17 he came back. Before and after that they are couple goals.
“Your daughter has something to ask you.” Mum declares.
“Dude!” I exclaim.
“What is it?” He asks.
“Could I go to England for a week at the least?” I question.
“You’ve got school!” He claims.
“I’ve skipped weeks before, I don’t even have to stay on my own, I could stay at Lauren’s or grandma’s.” I tell him.
“Damn right you won’t be staying on your own.” He says.
“I could even look at universities whilst I’m there.” I reason with him.
That’ll do it.
“Harper,” he groans. “I just don’t want to see my last child leave the nest.” He replies.
“Dad, I’m going to have to at one point,” I chuckle. “If it helps I’ll visit you as much I can when I’m at uni.” I smile.
“Fine, you can go, on one exception.”
“Bring me back a Whisper bar.” He says in all seriousness.
“I’ll bring you back a couple if that helps.” I chuckle. “Thank you.” I hug him and then my mum.
“Behave, and be nice to Lauren.” My mum chimes in.
“Do I have to stay with someone, she lives like two or three roads away from us.” I question.
“Honey, that’s pushing it a bit.” My mum tells me.
“I’ll bring you back a Toblerone.” I bribe.
“Okay you’ve got the house.” Mum slams her hand on the counter.
“Thank you guys so much! I love you.” I grin and hug them again.
“Did you know that Luke and Harper are going out?” My mum asks my dad.
I’m on a break with Luke.
“Oh, really?” He asks me and I nod.
“We’re on a break though.” I sigh.
“Since when?” He questions.
“Well we’ve been together since January, but we went on a break yesterday.” I explain.
“I’m sorry honey.” He looks at me in sympathy.
“I take it this has something to do with going back to England?” My mum says.
“Kind of I guess, everything I see reminds me of him, we haven’t broken up, but it still hurts.”
“I’m gonna leave you two girls to talk.” My dad mutters and kisses me on the cheek before leaving the room.
“In that case, take as long as you need in england. Of course no longer than a month or something but you will need more than a week.” She replies.
“I was thinking of a week and a half, possibly two weeks.”
“When are you going?” She questions.
“I looked up some flights earlier on and a reasonable priced flight was tomorrow evening. Now, I don’t know if I want to leave that soon.” I respond
“What am I gonna tell the school? That you’re sick? You could go tomorrow evening.” She claims.
“The excuse that I’m sick will probably work for a week, and then after that they will start to get suspicious. Say that grandma died or something.” I say.
“Harper!” She scolds.
“Oh, could you do me a favour, this probably sounds mean, and I’m being horrible, but could you not tell anyone that I’ve gone to England.” I question.
“Why?” She asks.
“I need a break, a break from life, a break from people, I need family. I know, the boys and Erika are like family but I need biological family.” I shrug.
“Yeah, sure I can do that.” She gives me a small smile.
“Just be prepared, because Erika will come over, and then she’ll probably ask Luke if he’s seen me, he will eventually call you.” I tell her.
“Harper, I’m going to ask you a question, and I know you hate talking about this stuff, especially with me,” she sighs, “promise me you’ll answer? If not, you can’t go.”
“Mum,” I groan. “What is it?”
“Are you, ya’ know, depressed again?” She questions.
I stay quiet for a while.
“Harper, c'mon.” She speaks softly and rubs my arm.
“I don’t want to call it depression.” I huff. “But yes, I haven’t been the happiest I’ve been you could say.”
“How long has this been going on for?” She questions.
“A month and a bit. I was finally getting better, but then Luke happened and I’ve sunk back in, almost over night. It’s funny how one person can affect you this much.”
“Don’t keep this all to yourself, please, it’s only gonna make it worse. Believe me, I know. Whilst you’re in England go see someone.” She tells me.
Clinical depression runs through the family, my mum has it and my grandpa has it.
“If I can hardly talk to someone I know about it, how am I supposed to talk to someone I don’t know?”
“Maybe someone you don’t know will be better. At least try honey, and please don’t do anything silly.” She begs.
“Yeah whatever, why does everyone think I’m some psycho that’s going to self destruct?” I slightly snap.
“We’re just looking out for you.”
“Yeah, okay.” I try to calm down.
“Thank you.” She smiles. “I’m gonna go watch some tv now, you’re welcome to join, but you don’t like this tv show.”
“I’m going to go a book my flight then.” I sigh and make my way upstairs.
Opening my laptop and going on the website.
Half an hour later, it’s all done. I booked my train tickets too, and its all printed out.
Deciding I need a breather, I go down the stairs, out the back door, and climbing up on to the roof, using a ladder of course.
Michael and I used to hang out here a lot, usually in the evening, not at night. The star’s right now look fan-fucking-tastic. Michael and I would watch the sunset, getting blinded by doing so.
Basking in the moon’s light.
Luke would like this. I can’t get this boy out of my head, everything I do, see, or imagine, I think about Luke. Ugh, pretty boy, pretty pretty boy.
My flight is at 8 pm tomorrow evening, and I’m ready to leave everything behind for a while. I feel bad leaving without telling any of my friends, but it’s sort of the reason why I’m doing it.
The boys are back in a week and a half, and if I go for the two weeks I won’t get to see them at the airport. Which is good, because I need time alone, but also I’ll feel guilty because they’ll expect me there. I might not even go for two weeks, I might even go for just a couple of days.
It’s going to be nice to see my cousins and stuff. Also whilst I’m there I’m going to look at universities and that excites me for the future. I’ve got my eye set on one university, it’s quite far from our house in england, it’s in Sheffield.
One of the best in the country, but that is a bit of a stretch, I haven’t even got my results for A-levels yet.
I’m looking to either do psychology or philosophy, I find them both interesting but I’m not sure what I’ll do with it.
I might not even do anything and just carry on doing YouTube with Erika, but my parents want me to go to university, even though I’m eighteen now. I wouldn’t say forced, but yeah, they forced me into going to uni.
As its autumn now it’s a bit cold up here so I decide to go back inside.
It’s the next day and I’m currently packing, I’ve got a few hours until I leave. “Honey, the phone is ringing for you.” I hear my mum call.
I know who it will be, the boy’s have been trying to get a hold of me, I don’t know why, something about Luke, I’m trying to get away from that, and they are making it harder.
I have to answer them, or they’ll become suspicious. Rolling my eyes I go downstairs and take the phone from my mum.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s Luke.” Ashton says.
“What about him?” I question.
“He is not doing well.” Calum states.
“Neither am I, now leave me alone for the next couple of weeks, I don’t want anything to do with you guys right now.” I snap.
“Woah, Harper, it’s okay.” Michael tries to comfort me.
“I don’t need your pity, just leave me alone, okay. Tell Luke he is an asshole, but I love him.” I tell them and hang up.
“I don’t need you pity, just leave me alone, okay. Tell Luke he is an asshole, but I love him.” Harper says and hangs up.
I laugh, before shaking head. “It’s not funny, but that was.” I chuckle.
“Yeah.” Ashton giggles.
“Why is she so uptight and ignoring us?” Michael questions.
“Well how would you feel if the love of your life decided to take a break?” I ask.
“But Luke told me that she was the one that decided they should go on a break.” Michael replies.
“That doesn’t make it any less harder.” I state.
“Should we go talk to Luke?” Ashton asks.
“Yeah.” I nod and we walk to the other end of the bus, where Luke is.
“Hey man,” Ashton starts.
He looks up from his guitar and nods.
“We just got off the phone with Harper.” I say, his guitar playing grinds to a hault, and it all goes quiet, you could here a pin drop.
Hen shakes his head ever so slightly and starts playing again. “She said you’re an asshole, but she loves you.” Ashton tells him.
I see him smile down at his acoustic guitar. “That, and she was really angry, saying to leave her alone for the next couple of weeks.” Michael claims.
“You should leave her alone, you can’t just dive straight in with her, she needs to take a breather. She needs space, so oblige to her words and leave her alone, at least until we get home.” He finally speaks up.
“Okay, but why is she being so hostile?” Ashton ask.
“It’s a defense mechanism, she panics, then shuts down. You then leave her for a while, she’ll be okay after that. I like to call it a breather or Harp moment. Don’t call it that in front of her though.” He chuckles at the end.
I love how he understands and knows her so well.
“How the fuck do you know this?” Michael laughs.
“I’ve known this pretty girl since I was born, I know her better than herself. It’s kinda scary to know someone that well, better than yourself at times. Then it’s all ripped away as if it never happened.” Luke explains.
That took a dark turn.
“It’s not g-”
“Can we just stop talking about her.” Luke cuts me off.
“Yeah, sorry man.” Ashton apologises..
I’ve just gotten off the train in England. The journey was alright, as good as a really long flight could be, it was my first flight on my own, and that was a bit terrifying.
I had this old lady that was next to me, it was her second flight ever, so she was really nervous. She kept telling me stories about her life and that seemed to calm her down, and I found it very interesting.
I told her my ‘situation’ and she gave me some advice, it was weird because I never really open up about my feelings, but it kinda felt alright telling a stranger everything.
Her advice was to live in the moment, although it is a very clichè thing to say, and it doesn’t have much importance to my situation, but she was right. I can’t keep waiting for Luke and until this break is over, embrace this time.
I’m going to visit everyone tomorrow, it’s very late right now. The whole airport to airport took 23 hours, that’s without trains, the train took an hour to reach Brighton.
The time is around 11pm or around that, I’m tired and cold. Although I’m wearing some black jeans and a black hoodie with the hood up. The hoodie is warm, my legs aren’t.
Everything I’m wearing is black, everything. My underwear, socks, shoes, are black. The only thing that isn’t black is myself and the tassels on my hoodie. The converse logo is even black. All black, representing my mood.
My family don’t know I’m here, the only people that do are my parents. I might film myself surprising my family, obviously not uploading until I’m back in Aus.
Pulling my keys out of my back pocket and inserting them in the lock, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
Flicking the lights on and rolling my suitcase through the door. I’ll deal with it all in the morning.
Walking into the dark kitchen, switching on the lights and going into the cupboard, fetching a couple of biscuits. The only thing I know is in date, and there is nothing in the fridge, maybe some tomato sauce is in there, but I don’t know exactly.
After eating those and getting in the shower, I finally get into my bed. The bed I’ve oh so missed, it’s so much more comfy than my bed at ‘home’.
I’ve been trying to text and call Harper all day yesterday, she won’t pick up or answer, I’m going to go over to her house today.
In fact, I’m on my way. Ringing the doorbell, I wait for someone to answer the door.
“Erika, darling.” She smiles.
“Hello,” I smile. “Is Harper there?” I ask and she sighs.
“Um no, she is out right now, then is going to see her grandparents.” She says.
“But her grandparents are in England. ” I confusedly state.
“Oh yes of course, I mean her cousin Evie’s parents.” She chuckles.
“Oh okay. When will she be back do you know?” I ask.
“I don’t know exactly, sorry love.” She tells me.
“Okay, well I’ll see you soon, bye.” I smile and turn around.
“Bye darl, it was nice seeing you.” She calls and I wave at her.
Something was off. I know that for sure. It all seemed so dodgy.
I should ask the boys, but why would they know? Was it something I did? She hasn’t talked to me since we got off the flight either.
I do what any person in my generation does and tweet out about it.
@harper33 bitch where are you? I’m missin’ you 😚
After no reply for a couple hours I decide to call Ashton.
“Hello?” He picks up.
“Hey, it’s Erika. Have you heard from Harper?” I dive right in.
“Um, we spoke to her yesterday, she kind of went all ape shit on us though. Why?” Ashton asks.
“She hasn’t talked to me since we got home, I don’t know if it’s something I’ve done. I went over to her house and Sarah acted all funny about it.” I claim.
“Luke said to leave her alone, she needs to be alone for a while.” He says.
“I just don’t know if she is okay, being how she is, you know?”
“I’m sure she is fine, if she wasn’t she probably would’ve reached out to Luke, even in their situation. They’re still friends.” Ashton states.
“Yeah, I’m sure she is.”
“But don’t take it to the heart babe, give her some space and then she’ll eventually come around.”