and then they change the scene to her

Olicity Drabble 5x17 ~Holding

Sometimes the hardest tests bring about the greatest gifts. This episode while emotionally heart-wrenching was also an amazing gift. This is just me hoping for an Olicity scene even it it wasn’t needed. (Gif: not mine)

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

“Darkness doesn’t just happen…

Like a endless nightmare darkness spreads through you slowly like a disease. At first the changes are slight and go unnoticed. But eventually the snow of the cold winter melts and, the scars of it’s punishing season are forever left behind…” 

Felicity let those words spread through her slowly like the very disease she feared would soon consume her. Seeing the blood along his open wounds for her was like looking in a mirror. His beaten battered body felt like a true reflection of her soul. Hearing him declare he was done sent shivers of cold relief through her rigid spine because, for once she didn’t feel that she’d emotionally been left behind. For once his soul, heart, mind and, body clearly matched her own…

The elevator doors slid together slowly, the room seemed to grow colder now that only their two shattered hearts remained. She heard his shuffled steps along the cold, unforgiving floors as she let her fingers dance slowly over the worn keys. She tried to shut down the world around her body as her eyes danced along the faded E. She heard him wince when his fingers slid down the side of the gray and green walls. Her heart thumped in agony as her thumb brushed over the worn space bar numbly. 

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anonymous asked:

I get that Amelia wants to e a mother, she always said that but right now after everything maybe she changed her mind, all those scenes where she claimed many and many times that she doesn't want a baby. I take her words for face value perhaps she just don't want any baby.

I don’t think she meant it. All her life all Amelia ever wanted was to recreate the only reference of happiness she’s ever known: the big bubbly family she had before her dad died.

Amelia has constantly and repeatedly expressed her desire to be a mother. Right now, as she deals with the repercussions of the awful trauma to lose a child, it’s understandable she is creating blocks to avoid feeling the pain again because right now that trauma is impacting her so much that she can’t see the bigger picture.

It’s like making a decision when you’re angry. Or calling your ex when you’re drunk. When your mind is biased by trauma, fear, etc you won’t necessarily express what you really want but instead try to escape pain as hard as you can. Once she talks, get her feelings out there, she will understand herself better because at this point, she doesn’t.

Just got back from the Beauty and the Beast remake and here are just a few spoiler free, very bias notes:

-Lefou is the best part of the whole movie

-The “Gaston” musical number is the best scene in the whole movie

-The whole movie is visuallu stunning

-”Evermore” really only served to remind me of how much I adore “If I Can’t Love Her”

-I caught a reference or two to the original fairy tale that were absent in the classic that made me smile

-It seemed to follow the original film more than any of the other live action remakes

-”Home” and “A Change In Me” in the score were both appreciated, but also made me sad that the songs from the musical weren’t in it

-NAMING THE FEATHERDUSTER PLUMETTE JUST MAKES THINGS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED. BABETTE? FIFI? PLUMETTE? WHO KNOWS NOT ME

-I spent a lot of time thinking “this looks really good but I still prefer the animated version of this sequence”

-There’s a lot more I’m forgetting or is too spoilery but overall better than I was expecting but if Beauty and the Beast is your favorite Disney movie or if you love the musical there are some moments that will fall flat

8

a man and his kitten

my mom watches her shows in the family room of our house where everyone is always hanging out and sometimes theres a (hetero) sex scene in whatever she’s watching and no matter how explicit or non explicit it is no one cares. its not a big deal. i mean its a little weird sometimes to just listen to really bad moaning for a solid minute but its not like she changes the channel or anything its just part of the show.

but me? i flinch when i’m watching two girls on my laptop and someone walks by or enters the room. not sex with two girls just. two girls. thats all. i pause the video and i wait for them to leave, my heart beating really fast. im not even in the closet. if the girls kiss i feel like i have to hide my screen and make sure no one saw i was watching that. 

i hate this more than anything

fave beauty and the beast (2017) things

  • the prince’s fabulous make up
  • “if he could earn their love in return”
  • belle’s blue dress
  • “hmm… ‘je ne sais quoi’?” - “I don’t know what that means”
  • even the freaking ducks are singing
  • “it’s never gonna happen ladies”
  • gaston asking belle if she’s busy and belle saying “no”
  • otp gaston x mirrors
  • belle’s disgusted face when gaston gestures from his lower body to her when saying she should only be concerned with her own children
  • “no one can change… that much”
  • “madame gaston, his little wife, uGH
  • the whole scene with maurice in the castle
  • m a u r i c e
  • philippe, everyone’s hero
  • belle smashing lumière with a stool
  • “the east wing, or as I like to call it, the only wing
  • ‘G A S T O N’
  • gaston lifting both lefou and a lady onto his shoulders
  • “I’ve been told I’m clingy, but I really don’t get it”
  • “he’ll blame me!” - “yes I will make sure of it”
  • “maestro, play quietly please” - “oh quietly, sotto voce, of course. are there any other tasteless demands you wish to make upon my artistry”
  • be. our. guest. be our guest put our service to the test
  • maurice trying to remember the way to the castle
  • “you really wanna marry into this family?”
  • “gaston, stop it. breathe. think happy thoughts. go back to the war! blood… explosions… countless widows…”
  • the nose boop
  • luke evans’ acting in that scene… hilariously creepy
  • “romeo and juliette fucking sucks here’s my huge library full of much better things to read” basically
  • beast is making jokes now
  • beast knocking out belle with his huge ass snowball like chill man
  • beast walking around the castle grounds with philippe and talking to him
  • belle watching that from the window and looking beautiful as hell like wow I knew I was gay but that was a solid reminder
  • “no? too touristy?”
  • the way lefou says maurice’s name and smiles when seeing he’s alive
  • waiting heeere. fooor. eee.ver.mooooore
  • luke evans singing
  • “there’s a beast running wild there’s no question, but I fear the wrong monster’s released”
  • stanley rocking that dress and owning it that’s my boy
  • lefou teaming up with mrs potts
  • “I am. not. a beast.”
  • L E F O U 
  • “turn back into a clock, turn back into a clock”
  • human plumette is so beautiful I wanted to cry
  • “how would you feel about growing a beard”
  • rawr
5

#that’s a smart girl tactic for ‘don’t mess with me bitch’

I literally just cant. Sometimes are you guys hit by the fact, that Lexa the stoic Commander, with the wisdom of generations, fell in love with a smol girl who fell from the sky? She bared her soul to her, and she protected her, and improved and changed her entire life and the ways of her people for that small bi bean?

She was so beautiful. And strong. And just…. Powerful. She moved us all. She inspired so many of us. She inspired hundreds of thousands of us to revolt against the media and their view of the lgbtq youth. She changed the lives of so many

For me, the most powerful yet heartbreaking scene was one of her very last happy moments. That smile, that smile she gave Clarke as she leaned down to kiss her on the bed. Do you guys remember? That smile. It was like… Seeing her for the first time. Happy. Relieved. Satisfied. She looked so beautiful. And raw. And fucking amazing.

I miss her so much

5
Some thoughts on the Maheswaran mother-daughter relationship

Connie looked so much like Dr. Maheswaran in this episode.

It’s adorable because in the canon time of the show, she’s picked up on her mother’s mannerisms in the way that a decade of living with her did not. It’s shows how much they’ve grown together as a family, and how their relationship has changed.

Considering this was how she looked in her first appearance:

There’s a marked change not only in design but also in her expressions.

And it’s been hinted at before, but in this scene, she so explicitly worries about her mother the way her mother worries about her. It’s very touching, especially because we know they started out caring about each other but not understanding one another. Because you  can love someone and never try to understand them. It leads to a lot of conflict but both parties can still come out of it feeling like they did what was “best” for the other.

Connie used to think it was better that her mother knew nothing so the latter wouldn’t worry about her. And Dr. Maheswaran wanted to be on top of everything so that Connie would have an easier life. 

What we learn from them is that to be able to love someone better, we open up to them and let them open up to us. Connie used to act as though her parents were infallible, or at the least, able to manage themselves. Over time, and in this episode, she’s shown to be worried about them because she knows they’re human beings too. They can get hurt, make mistakes, and put themselves in danger.

Knowing these things puts the other person in perspective. It makes their place in our lives mean more. And it makes it harder to take the people we love for granted.

So I would say Connie and her mother interact a lot more now. They probably talk about each other’s days. Notice how even Dr. Maheswaran talked about everything that happened to her prior to picking Connie up. She believed her daughter deserved an explanation. And that’s a far cry from the mother who would proudly bring out the “Because I said so,” and “We’re doing this because we love you,” cards in Fusion Cuisine.

Not everyone has this experience with their parents. Sometimes things just happen to drive parents and children apart. But in their case it worked out, and now they each have one more person who will always be there for them.

When Connie told her mother that Steven just came from outer space, there was no incredulous reaction. Only an, “Oh?” in an interested and calm tone. 

They’re both trying. And I’m certain they still have their share of disagreement, but it’s dealt with in a much healthier way now.

we learned how to hide it, how to chomp back the bit of girls, braid the secret deep in our hair and leave it. we doodled two girls kissing and gave one short hair. made stick figures with only one in a dress. we tried not to stare too long at the tv when she was pretty because we sensed innately something was wrong with us. we watched the scene where she’s laughing maybe sixteen times before we felt creepy. we sang the lyrics loudly and in public changed the pronouns. in private we wrote our own songs that were tuneless and featured only her name ached out in music. we danced around the subject, we said, “ew that’s gay,” we identified as ally sometimes but wrinkled our nose if everyone else did in the room. and we were lonely. and terrified. like lying to a jury. like if we messed up for a moment we would be sentenced to the guillotine. on private blogs we wrote poems about the cloud girls we wished we could kiss, we google-searched “how to know if i’m a lesbian”, we made fake yahoo accounts to ask why looking at her made our stomach sick. in public it was different, the art of “no i don’t have a boyfriend,” or even worse, the art of pretending to find boys remotely interesting. the savage lies that curled into us until even we no longer knew what was fact and what was fiction. and that bitter anger we saw in others - always at ourselves, and our failures.

What I love most about the growl scene is its underlying message.

Belle asked the prince if he fancied growing a beard. This can be inferred that she was deeply unsure and wanted to know that the man in front of her is really the same one she knew, not the selfish and unkind prince whom he used to be.

The growl he gave to her is the proof that he’s still the sweet, gentle and kind beast she knew so well and fell in love with. It is a part of the beast who had changed into someone better. Even though he transformed back to human form she never knew, a part of that sweet beast she fell in love with remained in him and ensured the changes in his heart.

Jeong Joon Hyung: The Boyfriend of a Feminist

1. Joon Hyung is not a guy you have to change for. He likes you, as you are. Pimples on nose and all. It always irked me that dramas like She Was Beautiful or 200 Pound Beauty or every other teeny bopper romcom in the States - looking at you She’s All That - always has this makeover scene where the frumpy heroine becomes a bombshell goddess. 

Bok Joo doesn’t have that moment. She doesn’t have a montage where her hair becomes all silky and she’s wearing heels and she takes off her glasses and why she’s a goddess.

Joon Hyung saw a Bok Joo that was in sweats, a weightlifter, with calluses on her hands. And he liked her for it, because what happened to Joon Hyung was not that Bok Joo became pretty and bam he liked her. 

What happened to Joon Hyung was that he got to know Bok Joo. How she was a kind daughter, a loyal friend and a good person. He got to know a Bok Joo who made his heart warm and that was what made her beautiful to him. 

Not her physical appearance.

And I don’t know about you, but that’s just really lovely for me. 

2. Jealous Joon Hyung is not asshole Joon Hyung. Most K-drama guys become macho-men I’ll pee over you like a dog because you’re mine when they get jealous. Jealousy, by itself is not bad per se. But jealousy that leads you to treat characters as objects (see Lee Min Ho in BoF, Heirs and now LotBS) it crosses a line from awwww so cute to ewwww I’ll get a restraining order on you. 

This is why jealous Joon Hyung is my favorite guy. Joon Hyung gets jealous because he likes Bok Joo and some other guy is chummy with her. But his response is:

a. To ASK Bok Joo, not to DEMAND Bok Joo not to see this guy again.

b. And when he realized his jealousy stemmed from loving feelings for Bok Joo instead of cooking up a sick reason to keep other guy away, he tells her straight. I’m jealous because I like you. Give me a chance. It’s all up to you. Do with me as you please. 

This is what’s good about them. Even jealousy is healthy for them, it’s a driver for them to address how they feel. 

3. Joon Hyung is not a knight in shining armor. He thinks Bok Joo is strong enough to fight her battles, but that doesn’t mean he can’t support her. 

He looked after her dad.

He did not kick up a shit storm when they had to be apart because she’s training for the national team. Instead he understood that to Bok Joo being an athlete comes first, and her family second and he’s happy to be there to help her with it. That’s what makes Joon Hyung such a loveable guy. He doesn’t demand that he be the center of your universe. He just wants to share the world with you. 

And after all the macho men who think it’s romantic to tell a girl to ignore her family and dreams and responsibilities and look at me, only look at me, Joon Hyung is a refreshing reminder that love is not selfish, love is not an or but an and. And that when you truly love someone your life opens up to include them in it.

vimeo

Lydia’s Romantic Journey (Updated Version)

Some of you may recall my ridiculous 70 minute exploration of Lydia’s romantic growth throughout the series, from a year ago. Well, I’m happy to say that it is officially updated with the scenes from Season 6. Unfortunately I could not find the original project file, so I was not able to change much of what was already there, only correct a few minor things and add the new footage at the end. But it really does give the whole thing a complete feel, because the ending of the previous version was just completely unsatisfying. Now there’s an actual ending to it because, well…they finally done did the Stydia.

There is a password required because I needed to protect the video from copyright bots that would take it down.

Password: findmywayback

Runtime: 90. Fucking. Minutes.

Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know if you have any problems with it.

If I Could Change Anything About Hamilton

-Make Lams explicit, include Laurens in satisfied and add another song with him singing about how they love each other but ended it to save them. (Something along the lines of Burn would be awesome.)

-When Eliza says, “I speak or against slavery, you really could of done so much more of you had more time” direct it at Laurens. Laurens did so much more than Ham on this issue.

-Give Peggy more lines.

-Decriminalize Maria. She was really the victim. Maybe give her a small song/scene to demonstrate how she was abused.

it bothers me so much that one of the biggest complaints about BvS not being up to people’s tastes was the martha scene. like, you have the absolute freedom not to like a film, let alone a film that represents your favorite characters, but you don’t get to shit on the one scene that screams volumes about batman’s character, an aspect no other film and sometimes not even the comics dare to show this openly: bruce wayne was traumatized

there’s such a good chance bruce never dared to utter his mother’s name after his parents’ death, that he probably changed the subject or right out left the room when alfred so much as began mentioning her, and then he flat out hears it out of the mouth of the person he’s poured all his hate into, the individual he doesn’t even consider human up until that point? how can that moment be anything but bruce falling into complete disarray, even going as far as disassociating before his mind starts working in a polar opposite fashion? was that exhibition of vulnerability just not up to your standards of how big, bad, unbeatable batman is supposed to be?  

i’ve seen so many people ever since i can remember just throw around “trauma” and “batman” in the same sentence because yeah yeah, we know that for batman to be born, bruce wayne had to lose his parents, who doesn’t know this, but you all did a 180 when suddenly we could now clearly see what that trauma meant when it came to grown up bruce wayne. it wasn’t just part of some dusted origin of a hero that’s been around since the dawn of our lives for most of us; it was out there straight in our faces this time. it was palpable. the sudden, almost irrational reaction to a name that ended up turning the tides so much that the entire film was changed in the last 20 minutes. a trigger word that means nothing to us but managed to make bruce’s vindictive stance lose all force, not because the word martha was blessed by three mystical wizards with mind-controlling powers clark found when he went for that mountain hike, but because trauma is different for everyone, it’s unexplainable to those who don’t understand, and because if “gum wrapper” or something equally harmless makes someone lose their shit because it’s closely associated with the worst night of their lives, it doesn’t need to be explained with flawless script writing. this is how trauma and the surviving days, months, years, your entire life afterwards work: it’s not pretty, it’s not coherent, it’s not cinematic, it might be downright silly to the ones unaffected, and it was portrayed as honestly as it should have been

9

“It is important to remain calm and collected even in the most extreme situations. In Umbrella’s underground laboratory, I forgot that wisdom. Something about the meeting with Leon changed me.”