and then they all lived happily ever after

CSBB: I Thee Wed (9/16)

Once upon a time, Princess Emma and Lieutenant Killian Jones stole away into the dark of the night to elope. In the morning light, however, they must face the repercussions of their actions before they can live their “happily ever after.” This is where their story begins…

Rating: 
M (Mild smut)

Content Warning: Smut in various chapters.

Other Pairings: Snowing

Author’s Note:
Thank you all for reading! I’m loving all of these strong feelings about my contribution to the @captainswanbigbang This story wouldn’t be half as readable without the lovely beta work of @wexyuk. Special shoutout to my artists who also served as secondary readers, @piratesrumforswan, and @just-be-magnificent .

[Ch. 1][Ch. 2][Ch. 3][Ch. 4][Ch. 5][Ch. 6][Ch. 7][Ch. 8]

Read on AO3!

Chapter 9

David woke with a start. He’d had another fitful night of sleep, just as he’d experienced for the past month. He rarely slept well while stressed, and lately it felt as if he had the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. He recalled the years when he and Snow had fought against Regina, how little he slept, worried that she or one of her minions would come steal away all he held dear. Only this time when nightmares overtook him, it wasn’t Snow’s evil stepmother who haunted his dreams, but the young upstart sailor who’d captured his daughter’s heart.

David ran his hand over his face willing the memories of his dream to disappear.

They were finally celebrating Emma’s “engagement” tonight, formally announcing the relationship to their friends and allies. Everyone already knew it was an engagement party, of course, those things couldn’t be kept secret, nor did anyone expect it to be. But tonight everything would become more real, in a sense, with the stakes of dissolving the relationship becoming much higher than before. Not that he expected Emma to want to extricate herself from her sailor, nor would he and Snow fight them on it.

He still wasn’t fond of the arrangement. He felt like a man whose life was slowly spiraling out of control. Regardless, David intended to stay true to his resolve to trust his daughter. He knew he couldn’t be the father to put his foot down and demand that they part from one another. Neither he nor Snow were willing to ask her to abdicate the throne to once again marry Jones. As things stood, all David could do was stand and watch his world burn.

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I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.


It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away


Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)




So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage


And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”


Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady


2

This is why I can’t have nice things.

…while these dorks were smooching, Hunk singlehandedly defeated Zarkon and came to their rescue right after, the universe is safe, and they all lived happily ever after with kids with bright eyes and mullets and stuff. >.<

OH MY GOD

there should be a disney movie where there’s a gay prince and a lesbian princess, right? and they’re in an arranged marriage but they don’t want to get married because their hearts desire the same gender but they can’t tell everybody that so they go along with their parent’s wishes blah blah blah but then they finally find themselves and are ready to come out by almost the end of the movie and then they finally do come out and they find out that they kept it a secret because they didn’t think the king and queen would approve but it turns out, their love for their children trumps above all and they’re accepting of them. then they live happily ever after: the prince with his prince and the princess with her princess. 

here’s the catch: the princess is in love with the prince’s sister

and the prince finds love with his ftm childhood best friend (and it turns out they’ve been loving each other the entire time) - only the childhood best friend’s family know about his transition and kept it a secret because they thought the king and queen would disapprove but they don’t because love trumps hate and they banish anyone from the kingdom who thinks otherwise

and and and the prince and the princess are both POC!!! 

idk…. who’d watch it? cause i would!!!

and the music for the movie would be from troye sivan, hayley kiyoko, halsey, etc. 

if you have any more ideas on how this movie would pan out, comment it omg

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

reasons to read the gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue:

  • it’s the queer historical road trip novel you never realised you needed
  • the friends-to-lovers trope! the sharing-a-bed trope!! the mutual pining trope!!! the everyone-knows-their-feelings-are-reciprocated-except-for-them trope!!!!
  • basically monty and percy are the cutest and i can 100% guarantee they’re going to be everyone’s new otp
  • a super smart, no-nonsense girl who is basically the embodiment of a slytherclaw (and also seems very aroace after deciding that kissing isn’t really her thing)
  • main characters with disabilities! incl. a disabled love interest who adamantly doesn’t want a cure-all, and whose disability doesn’t make him any less desirable
  • comically inept and lovable pirates
  • tl;dr: a historical novel that acknowledges that queer people, disabled people and people of colour have always existed and puts them front and centre, while acknowledging the hardships they faced
  • also ALL YOUR FAVES LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

You grew up on stories of the brave hero who rescues a princess. You dedicate your life to following this path, and you have finally rescued a princess. Unfortunately, the stories all end with “they lived happily ever after” and you’re not sure what happens now.

‌I love you. When I say this, I don’t know if you even realise how deeply I mean it. Sometimes you just smile back at me and say you love me too and sometimes just kiss me. But my love is much above these words. I mean it right from my soul, I love you with everything I am and I have. I don’t know how to express in one word or gesture my love for you. But you scare me sometimes. I know you are a realistic person and talk only what is right and logical, but baby am the type of a person who believes in fairy tales, in never ending love and in happily ever after. And all this reality scares me. Please let me live in this utopia, where you exist, are still with me and will always be.
—  Nidhi Bhasin

Before uni I had no idea that “and they lived happily ever after” could be expressed so differently in different languages but???? it is???

Like, I learned today that the French equivalent is “Ils furent tous très heureux et eurent beaucoup d'enfants” (They were all very happy and had lots of children)

But then the German one (my fave) is “Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute” (And if they didn’t die, then they still live today)

I love languages so much

Okay, quick answers to the most asked questions:

Rythian is a human boy who was taken by Endermen back to The End many years ago. There he was raised to learn how to use Endermagic and groomed to become the general/warlord in a future invasion of the Brightlands (the “normal” world).

When he was still very young he despaired at how different he looked to all the other Endermen so he took a knife and cut the sides of his cheeks open so would be able to have the wide mouth and angular jaw of an Enderman. He healed eventually but it left horrifying scars which he is ashamed of to this day. Hence the mask.

He eventually left The End behind and broke free from the Queen’s leadership and wandered the Brightlands. He met some friends, and met Zoey.

The way the story was going, they were going to discover Zoey’s origin in the Twilight Forest - she was the mushroom princess, rightful ruler of the Realm of Twilight. The original nuking of the original server made her lose her memory. With her gone, the barriers between worlds were fading, and Endermen managed to invade there as well, despite measures to stop that from happening (such as a realm-wide aura to stop their magic from working).

After restoring Zoey’s memory and “fixing” the realm, they were going to go back to the original place where the portal to the End was created (by Rythian’s scientist parents many years ago), go through, fight the Enderdragon (Queen of the End, aka The Princess from the short story) and win. More or less live happily ever after.

It all sounds a bit silly and dry when briefly summed up like this, but at least there’s some answers. I hope that satisfied a little bit at least. :)

anonymous asked:

Au: Yuuri and Victor are neighbors but don't know each other. Then Victor's and Yuuri's poodles have puppies and they both insist on taking care of the puppies together. They spend all this time with each other taking the doggos to the vet, the park, etc. They realize they love each other and live happily ever after with like 80 puppies.

this au has me shook omg

au where under various changed circumstances jason decides to emulate his hero tom sawyer and return to life in the middle of his own funeral, so he does so and bruce leaps to his feet and crushes him in a bear hug and tim who was attending out of respect is all fanboying and jason doesn’t hate him and try to kill him and jason is like ‘hey bruce why the joker still alive tho’ and bruce is like 'well son i had crippling depression following your death and broke my hand punching superman so ya know *finger guns*’ and jason goes 'oh that makes sense’ and alfred takes a buffalo rifle and shoots the joker and they all live happily ever after