and then theres much and john

Musicals By Their Best Insults
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Phantom of the Opera:</b> "Carlotta must be taught to act, not her normal trick of strutting round the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some weight- it's not healthy in a man of Piangi's age. And my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts."<p/><b>Les Misérables:</b> "Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!"<p/><b>Wicked:</b> "I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy, too. I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!"<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> "Sittin’ there useless as two shits. Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits!" & "SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!<p/><b>Heathers:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult</i>) "Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!" & "SHUT UP HEATHER!"<p/><b>Love Never Dies:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult to humanity</i>) "Look at you, deep in debt. Stinking drunk, pitiful [...] Look at you, foul as sin. Hideous, horrible." & "Beauty sometimes goes unseen. We can't all be like Christine."<p/><b>Grease:</b> "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Lousy with virginity. Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed. I can't; I'm Sandra Dee"<p/></p>

“What is it?”

“John,” Lafayette said, a deadly serious look in their eyes, “Alexander put his contacts in for you. He’s deeply in love with you.”

ive seen a few “dirkjohn but johns an asshole ghost who haunts dirk” but none of the reverse which is wild bc theres so much potential

imagine john moves into what used to be dirks old apartment bc its ridiculously cheap for some reason (hint: dirks dumb ass forgot he left a sword in the fridge. several swords. just an avalanche of fucking swords okay.)

its all on the up and up for john until he starts seein weird shit out of the corner of his eye, just quick motions he cant process

he chalks it up to rats or something and tries checking the vents for evidence of a pest problem, but all he finds is this creepy blue-eyed puppet with a big ass chain round its neck. he throws it out the window like a reasonable human being

“guess it was nothing!” he tells himself and maybe he believes it

dirk was tryin to do his ghastly biz before, but throwin cal out? that felt personal. he retrieves it and places it next to john when he sleeps. he tries to make his soft muppet-like hands flip john the bird but he cant figure out how to make it stick so he resolves to just hold him like that

so john wakes to a spectral shadow hovering over a nasty puppet flipping him off. at first hes screaming, then hes slinging the thing across the room while screaming, then he realuzes theres a ghost here and hes still screaming, and finally he realizes theres a fuckin ghost in his apartment and he goes silent

then he screams again and scrambles for a ouija board he keeps under the bed in case of ghosts

he busts that shit out and goes for the hard hitting questions straight away, “is ectoplasm real? can you slime me?”

dirk can only answer one way really, “F…u…c…k…y…e…s.”


arbitrary astronaut gifsets (2/?): they’re beauty, they’re grace, they’re kinda clumsy in space

“You’re pretty agile there, twinkle toes.

“You bet your life I am.” -Gene Cernan and Jack Schmitt, Apollo 17


The fact that Sherlock played a heroic, manly version of John’s theme in his head while JOHN RESCUES HIM FUCKING KILLS ME.


(probably not for real, but the thought still amuses me, since John is his “damsel in distress”).

anonymous asked:

Random question but why don't you draw hercs eyes? It looks really cool but I just want to know if there's a story behind it?

John:I don’t understand is there a reason to put that headband over your eyes practically religiously

Herc: Well I am already mostly blind the shapes and blurs distract me, this will hone my hearing and other senses so looking everywhere won’t be such a drag,ya know?

Laf:I think he has charm carried within it. Besides If it helps him who are we to refuse?

Herc:Hah,, uhm thanks Laf.

okay so this isn’t even ambiguous in any way: leaving your children to fend for themselves no matter how good your intentions (and jonh’s weren’t all that good in fact they were mostly selfish) is child abuse

giving your child a gun and telling them to shoot first ask questions later? fucking cps on your ass. abuse

having your CHILD (and yes a teenager is a child, all teens out there chill you’re kids you’ll feel the same way about teenagers once you’re old and tired) getting hurt on your watch when you know they might get hurt and do nothing to prevent it? uhm lemme call my lawyer, oh yes it’s child abuse (on this note i’m still sure john gave teen dean bruises sonny asked about - whether it was in an attempt to drag him away from harm or no (((it’s not those bruises don’t match the action))) the fact remains he allowed him to get hurt while he was reponsible for him as an adult in charge so it’s on john and oh wow it’s neglect at best)

blaming your CHILD for not caring enough for your other child while you’re away after you’ve left both CHILDREN without and adult to care for them? fucking abuse

for your fragile minds out there: abuse does not equal beating a kid with a hanger. emotional abuse (guilting your child into a parental role), verbal abuse (blaming your CHILD for not protecting another child, out loud, verbally with you know, WORDS the child can understand and then internalize for decades) that’s also abuse ffs

i’m not taking away anybody’s experience here but either a lot of you have never experienced any form of abuse at all (and fucking thank god for that i wouldn’t wish it on anyone) or have internalized it so hard that you can’t recognize it (it’s a thing)


Divided We Stand - S2 E1