and then the camera turns away

Okay one episode down for the Living and the Dead. It was a bit of a slow pace, but I think that’s usual for a pilot. On the horror side, I haven’t a clue what is considered good, but there was definitely a lot of suspense (good, I think) and there are a few jump scares (which are not necessarily bad, they are kind of overused and one of the reasons I usually avoid horror). Otherwise, no gore or unnecessary violence so far, only some “turn-the-camera-away-right-at-that-moment-violence.” Honestly, I’m only watching this for Colin Morgan and it’s paying off because his character is amazing (I have emotions over his reaction to hearing his son’s voice omg) and I love the dynamic with his plucky wife (she’s so cute, Nathan Appleby you did good, bruh).

Cat Town, Japan.

Listen up, y’all. I’m about to tell you guys about the #1 cat lady destination in Japan: Yanaka.

Yanaka is a neighborhood in Taitō Ward, Tokyo. It’s a super traditional part of town filled with winding alleys, shrines and meticulously maintained temples. It’s a lovely place, but today we’re here to focus on the thing that makes Yanaka a magnet for nerds like me: good good kitties.

You see, Yanaka is a neighborhood with a butt-ton of stray cats. This makes sense, since it’s basically cat heaven. The streets and alleys of Yanaka are essentially just a series of hidey holes and ideal sunning spots that happen to have humans running around. Thankfully these humans are quite appreciative of their feline overlords, which is why part of Yanaka has essentially just become cat themed. It’s honestly like the neighborhood has just agreed that this is their thing now.

The first cat-themed establishment we visited in Yanaka was Nekoemon, a café with a scant 13 seats that’s covered in cat decor. The special thing about this place is that they offer a set (for roughly $15USD) that includes a cat-shaped cookie, a coffee drink of your choice and a little unfinished maneki neko figurine. Why the figurine? ‘Cause you’re about to customize yourself a neko, my friend.

The owner asked customers to choose between figurines to attract either luck or money. We picked luck and got our maneki neko along with a full assortment of markers. The owner even set out a few already painted figurines to provide inspiration.

Aside from the novel figurine offer, the café also had genuinely delicious lunch sets. They weren’t cat themed (though they had plenty of dessert options that were), but it was healthy and extremely tasty. I honestly recommend Nekoemon on all fronts. 

Here’s my finished maneki neko. Followers of the blog may recognize him.

Nekoemon is great, but it isn’t even at the center of the cat madness. No, for that we’re headed to the shopping area: Yanaka Ginza.

Even if you don’t care about cats (in which case I’ve got to ask… why did you read this far?) this street is lovely. There are shops for handcrafted items, souveniers, sweets, savory foods and a lot more.

If you aren’t all sugared up from Nekoemon, you can always stop by Yanaka Shippoya, a shop that sells cat tail donuts. The donuts are named as cats would be rather than for their flavors, and they’re honestly very nice. We had a sesame camembert one that was lovely and not too sweet.

Donuts not your bag? You can always satisfy your sweet tooth with some maneki neko shaped taiyaki from Maneki-ya. Fluffy outside, rich and creamy inside. We got the matcha custard and red bean flavor and it did not disappoint.

Okay, so you’ve had enough sugar to last you a lifetime. Know what has no calories? Cat accessories. Yanaka Ginza has a bunch of shops that specialize in just… cat stuff. Cat jewelry? Check. Cat kitchenware? Check. Cat bento? Check. Cat bags? Dear heavenly lord, check. There’s even a store that specializes in making custom cat stamps. Seriously.

That’s just one tiny corner of just one shop. We visited 3, but saw more. Most of the shops had signs asking visitors to refrain from taking photos, so we kept the camera packed away. Honestly, I get it. These are shops best explored in person. It’s fun to see how the owner of each shop has a unique aesthetic and stocks totally different items (though there is certainly some overlap). You can tell these stores are curated by cat lovers.

Oh, and of course we can’t forget the feline residents themselves. When we first hit the area we saw zero cats. None. I was honestly really disappointed, but it turns out they were all hiding from the rain that started shortly after. Those kitty instincts served them well and kept them dry, and once the rain passed we suddenly saw little cat faces poking out all over.

This sweet girl roamed the cemetery and was the first kitty we met.

Shortly after we met a pair of housecats that chirped at us quite enthusiastically.

This orange boy said goodbye to us just before we left the area. 

In conclusion: if you love fluffbutts and toe beans and are near Tokyo, get thee to Yanaka. It’s a fantastic weekend day trip that isn’t crowded to the brim with tourists, the whole neighborhood has a relaxed and peaceful vibe, and you can come home decked out in cat stuff and filled with sugar. What more could you even want? 

2

No matter how enormously successful he may have been at the start, the future of a teen idol once he’s graduated from the warm embrace of boy bandhood is always precarious. Will his star continue to rise to Justin Timberlake (or, for the U.K. crowd, Robbie Williams) status? Or will he become nothing more than a distant, fond memory—a time capsule of a generation’s youthful indiscretion?

That’s the question facing former One Directioner Harry Styles who, a little over a year after his group officially (probably) disbanded, has just made the best case yet for his enduring pop cultural relevance. In going above and beyond his musical guest duties on this week’s S.N.L., Styles proved what his die-hard fans have been saying all along: he’s more than just a haircut.

This wasn’t Styles’s first S.N.L. rodeo; as musical guest, he’s always shown a penchant for hopping into sketches. Not all guest musicians like to try their hands at live sketch comedy, but Styles and the rest of the One Directioners charmingly cropped up on a 2012 “Manuel Ortiz Show” sketch and, briefly, in a 2013 sketch featuring Paul Rudd as their biggest fan. They also endearingly and self-mockingly cameoed in Rudd’s opening monologue.

But none of Styles’s previous, light S.N.L. sketch work could have prepared his fans for his level of involvement in this week’s episode. Perhaps taking a page from his successful S.N.L. collaborations with Justin Timberlake, host Jimmy Fallon had Styles join him in two sketches as well as the episode’s monologue. That monologue appearance was the least challenging part of he played. All Styles had to do was dance and belt out a smidgeon of Bowie—right in his wheelhouse. He did it all while giggling a little at Fallon’s self-seriousness. Who wouldn’t?

But Styles had a much bigger role to play in one of the earliest sketches of the night: an impressions showcase in the guise of a Celebrity Family Feud. By rights, Fallon should have owned this sketch—he very impressively scampered back and forth across the set in order to pull off dueling John Travolta impressions. But Styles sort of stole the show out from under him by unveiling a fearless (if not always entirely accurate) Mick Jagger impression.

As any S.N.L. aficionado will tell you, complete commitment to a bit and a willingness to make a fool of yourself is key to good hosting. Timberlake was fine in a pair of early S.N.L. appearances—but it wasn’t until he showed up in 2003, cool as a cucumber, in a giant omelette costume that he proved once and for all that he could hang with the best Studio 8H had to offer. Styles-as-Jagger also took a tiny dig at his own fledgling solo career, saying, in character, “Solo? Why would anyone in a successful band go solo? That’s insane.” Self-awareness? Also a vital quality for any S.N.L. host.

Styles’s last acting appearance of the night came during a surprisingly effective, high-concept sketch which saw Fallon and a group of Union soldiers slowly turn a traditional Civil War ballad into an infectious pop song. Styles appears as a Rebel prisoner who adds a soulful bridge. The singer’s earnest crooning prompted half of the beard glued to his face to pop off—not a rare issue when it comes to live sketch comedy. Styles handled the malfunction with aplomb, first slapping the beard back on his face when the camera panned away—and then, when it came loose again, just going with it.

But like Timberlake before him, Styles has not lost sight of the gift that made him a star. For all his sketch work in this week’s S.N.L. the singer also performed a pair of songs that sent his longtime fans swooning: his chart-topping single, “Sign of the Times” and a new track, titled “Ever Since New York”

But a successful foray into the world of sketch comedy isn’t the only way Styles is taking cues from Timberlake as he embarks upon his post-One Direction career. The singer recently landed a coveted role in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming prestige drama Dunkirk. Timberlake also followed the dissolution of N*Sync with a few serious film appearances, including Alpha Dog, Black Snake Moan, and, most successfully, The Social Network. Neither Styles nor Timberlake may ever win an acting Oscar, but all that stage presence has to go somewhere—and, depending on how well Dunkirk goes over, we may be at the very beginning of another boy band member’s long perch at the top.

If an early positive review (from Oscar winner Mark Rylance, no less!) is any indication, Styles also knows exactly how to channel that surplus of charisma. Rylance said of his Dunkirk co-star: “He seems remarkable … one of those people—Sean Penn has it, too—a kind of panache. I look at them and think, ‘How did you get that? How do you get so that life is easy?’ But he has got a lovely, lovely character. It’s a gift.” Dunkirk comes out in July. If it’s a palpable hit, we could see Styles make his S.N.L. hosting debut as early as this fall.  -  VANITY FAIR

Wanna park and act like an a**hole? Enjoy paying thousands.

Years ago, I worked as a security officer in a high-traffic tourist area (graveyard shift).

One of my responsibilities was to make sure my building’s loading/unloading zone is kept clear because at all hours of the day we’ve got vehicles coming and going for people going to meetings, visitors, tourists, cabs, etc. The curb is painted white and marked in big bold letters ✶ LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY ✶ NO PARKING ✶. At the end of the zone there was a single handicap parking stall painted bright blue.

Now the building I worked at was nearby a few large night clubs, so every Friday and Saturday the area would be crazy busy with drunken fighting, vomiting, occasional alleyway sex, etc. All night long there’d be cute girls milling around in skimpy outfits, so the job had its perks too.

Clubbers would take advantage of my building’s valet parking service and pay to park in our garage before heading out to one of the clubs across the street.

Some clubbers would think they could get away with parking in our loading zone all night. My coworkers and I would aggressively patrol the area in the earlier evening hours and advise as many people as we could so they’d leave and avoid getting a ticket. It was also better for us if they left, because when there were too many vehicles parked out front, traffic would become a complete clusterf*ck regardless of the time of day.

Most people would be grateful for the information and leave. Occasionally, some douche would laugh in our faces, say something about pigs or rent-a-cops or whatever and leave their car anyway. In those cases, we’d call our city’s parking enforcement and they’d get a $90 ticket for their troubles.

One Saturday night, after finished a round of patrols, I went to take a leak. On my way back out, I walked past Dispatch and my buddy calls me over to the surveillance bank.

“Hey bro, you got one out front.”

I turned to the grainy feed just in time to see a piece-of-junk ‘97 BMW sloppily parking in front of our building. I murmured that I’d go out and advise the driver, but before I could leave, the driver exited his vehicle.

My buddy and I watched in silence as the driver, a young black male adorned with flashy cheap bling, hiked his pants up at the crotch and blocked the path of a couple girls walking by. He started hitting on them in the slimiest way possible, even trying to grab their hands and asses at one point, staring shamelessly at their tits while he was schmoozing them. He took out his phone and shoved it at them, presumably asking for their numbers.

Eventually the girls were able to dodge his grabbers and ran off toward the club across the street. He repeated this routine several more times with various groups of girls walking by, even taking out a small bottle of vodka from his back pocket and offering swigs. With each rejection, he’d get angry and presumably cuss out the girls as they hurried off (our cameras didn’t pick up audio but this seemed a reasonable assumption).

I sighed and looked at my buddy.

“Well, I guess I’ll go talk to him.”

I made my way out to the front and approached him just as another group of girls ducked away from him. I called out to him. He turned and stared at me blankly.

“Hey, man, just wanted to let you know that this zone is for loading and unloading. Normally it’s not a big deal to park for a bit but if everyone does it on the weekends, traffic gets backed up pretty bad here.”

The douche looked at his vehicle, then at my badge.

“F*CKYOUB*TCHASSN☻☻☻☻I'LLF*CKYOUUP. PIGASSWANNABECOPMOTHAF*CKA.”

I looked at my watch. It was about 10:30PM. I continued my spiel.

“Parking enforcement here is pretty strict. You should move your vehicle or you might get ticketed–”

“F*CKYOUN☻☻☻☻SUCKMYD*CK. BETTERNOTTOUCHMYSHITN☻☻☻☻ILLF*CKYOUUPN☻☻☻☻.”

“Have a good night sir.”

He flipped me off and went across the street, where he was promptly denied entry for dress code violations. He cussed out the bouncer and wandered off down the block. I walked over to his vehicle and saw that it was parked crooked, the rear of the vehicle partially blocking the lane of traffic. Half of his vehicle was in the white zone, the other in the blue zone. I key’d up my radio.

“8million to dispatch.”

“8million, go ahead.”

“Can you call parking enforcement for this vehicle? Lemme know when you’re ready for the plate.”

Fifteen minutes later, the parking officer arrived. He looked at the vehicle and promptly issued a $90 ticket for parking in the white zone and a $900 ticket for parking in the blue zone without a permit.

I thanked the officer and went back inside to have a snack.

A couple hours later, two of the local cops stopped by to say hi. As Officer Morris and his partner walked over, Dispatch radio’d me.

“Hey 8million, is that Jones and Morris?”

“Sure is.”

“You gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?”

“Yep.”

Officer Jones and I lit up our cigarettes as Officer Morris looked on disapprovingly. We all smoked and chatted for a bit, then I casually motioned over my shoulder at the BMW.

“Hey, Jones, check out the parking job on that piece of shit.”

We all walked over to the corner and looked at the vehicle, the two tickets stuck on the windshield flapping in the wind. Officer Morris grabbed one of the tickets, read it over and looked at me.

“What’s the story here?”

I told them what happened and the driver’s response. Officer Jones and Morris looked at each other.

“8million, you got the time?”

“Yeah, it’s… 12:27AM.”

“Well it’s a whole new day now isn’t it?”

Officer Morris proceeded to write another $90 ticket for the white zone, then another $900 ticket for the blue zone. He paused for a moment after finishing the second one.

“Hey Jones, looks like this vehicle is parked more than twelve inches from the curb. What do you think?”

“Sounds about right.”

Officer Morris wrote another ticket for $120 and slapped it on the pile of tickets on the windshield. I shook both officer’s hands and they left to continue their patrols.

The next few hours of my shift went by fairly quickly. Around 5AM, Dispatch scared the hell out of me.

“HEY 8MILLION, ARE YOU STILL ON THAT CALL?”

“Negative, I just finished clearing it.”

“RESPOND TO DISPATCH ASAP.”

I ran down to the surveillance bank, where my coworkers were all gathered and laughing their asses off. Sunday was street cleaning day and the BMW was getting ticketed again by parking enforcement.

After that, we all stopped by Dispatch every 5-10 minutes to see if the owner had returned. Finally, at about 6AM, douchebag came stumbling up the block, looking completely worn out. His formerly-white t-shirt was stained and dirty and it looked like he’d lost at least one fight.

We watched in suspense as he looked at the pile of tickets crammed together on his windshield and slowly removed them. He stood there, pants sagging below his knees, shuffling through each ticket as if he were a toddler with a handful of Pokémon cards.

With a look of abject defeat on his face, he got into his vehicle and drove off. The whole room erupted in laughter and high-fives.

As the laughter died down, I picked up the office phone and started dialing. My coworkers eyed me curiously. I put the call on speaker just as the call connected.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“Yeah, hi, I’d like to report a possible drunk driver. I have the vehicle and driver description when you’re ready.”

Sex Tape (M)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 1.9k 

Summary: “Well, it’s my last day home.” He said, stating the obvious as you came closer to him. You nodded, silently urging him to continue before he bent over and picked a box up off of the ground which you didn’t even look at. Your eyes were too focused on his face as he continued to smirk, “I just want to remember it, that’s all.” 


Keep reading

SEVENTEEN THEORIES (UPDATED! - S. Coups)

Okay, so my twin and I have come up with theories to Seventeen’s comeback.

We all understand that the concept revolves around the idea of fears and being alone. We see in all the videos an introduction to this fear and by the end of the trailer, they acknowledge these fear. 

So we think…

Vernon: His fear could be wandering aimlessly, unsure of his path. He just walks around, letting time pass by him. He acknowledges this fear by continuing to use that compass until he finds someone familiar to him.

Jeonghan: His fear could be his image or his image in front of the camera/media. It could be that he takes photos because he has an image in his mind of how things look to him, but the outside world may not view his perspective the same. Through media, that can be altered and it can shine a different light on an artist. By facing his fear, he leaves the comfort of the home. By doing this, he accepts how the world is going to view him.

Mingyu: His fear could be related to having this incomplete half to himself. We see him alone, but everything is in two like he once had someone who shared the same similarities and now he feels responsible for filling this void. We could take it another way. We also see a disconnect, especially in the scenes with a mirror. It may portray a disconnect between what he feels inside and what he sees on the outside. I can see this in Mingyu since he often feels uncomfortable with his body. Mingyu faces his fear by finally taking a step back and away from the mirror, almost saying that he will no longer let his physical features define him.

DK: His fear could be not improving. We see his running pace remain the same, and then he eventually drops the timer. DK would be the type of person to always strive to be better and to always work to improve, and not being able to accomplish that can haunt him. By dropping that timer, he allows himself to improve at his own pace without the stress of a physical and materialistic goal.

Woozi: His fear could be related to his talents, his brains. It looks as though he’s trapped in a library, like all this knowledge is kept inside, unable to be shown to the world or appreciated by the world. He may be afraid to share the world his talents.

Jun: He is surrounded by memories. His fear could be that this brotherhood he has with the others will eventually be lost and all he has left to fill this empty space are the memories. He’s afraid to get in touch when a long time has passed since we hear Jisoo’s voice from a voice mail. He faces this fear by finally going out and visit. 

Dino: We see him land on the space “turn to the first space.” This could signify his fear of starting from scratch when they have already put so much work into their team and their music. We see him continue to roll the die like he’s waiting for a new fate, but every time he ends up with the same number that landed him there. This correlates with the “seventeen project 2017” they are portraying, that they are starting over with a re-debut with this new and improved group.

Wonwoo: The fear shown in his teaser is boredom and disinterest. We see him at the beginning staring at a blank wall as he steps out in the hallway. He also see him looking out the window and often sitting and contemplating. He picks up the TV remote, but he just flips through the channels, unable to pick something that interests him. We hear cheering, like fans clapping and cheering but his facial expressions don’t change. He could be afraid of no longer finding interest in what he does, or he could be afraid of fans no longer be interested. But it looks to be resolved as the scene ends with him settling on a channel showing the very place where we found Vernon wandering to. 

Hoshi: Another hard one! He’s waiting for a phone call, but we don’t know what the other line of the phone is saying. The environment in the room changes to something cold when he answers the phone. But after he hangs up the first time, he calls the number on the piece of paper. His fear could be receiving and relaying bad news to others. We see him struggle when he opens the piece of paper with the phone number on it, but he continues to call anyways almost showing us the urgency and importance of the message he received. 

Seungkwan: Money. Money is anybody’s dream and nightmare. We see Seungkwan twirling a coin in his hand. This could signify fear of being greedy, or it could signify his fear of not being able to provide. Either one, we see him accept this has he leaves the coins on the counter of the laundromat. 

The8: Minghao’s fear could be being left. We see him arrive at this home with groceries. When he arrives, no one is home to greet him. We see a note on the kitchen counter where it is obvious for someone to see. When he reads it, we see devastation in his face. This could be that a significant other had left him. We don’t see much of a resolution of Minghao’s fear, but we see DK arrive in time to comfort him. We also see the spinning magic 8 ball, which is suppose to determine your luck, and Minghao happened to get the short end of the stick. 

Joshua: His was sooo hard omg. He could be afraid of betrayal. It could him betraying someone/the group, or it could be someone betraying him. We see in the water that one of the two people puts their hand on the other person’s shoulder and then walks away. He washes his face, almost showing discomfort and irritation and then we see him walking in the hallway only for him to turn back towards the camera. 

S. Coups: Coups fear may have to do with going in circles, or lacking direction in general. We see him walking and then he stops to turn around. He continues to walk around only with signs all around him saying “Wrong Way.” When he finally does decide to move forward, he keeps circling the block. This could signify his fear the team going forward, but keep going in circles, or not finding a path to improvement. 


They’re alone to show how each member has their own, unique fear. They all experience it differently. With members shown at the end of the clip, it suggests that no matter how often their fears come and no matter how small they may be, “even though you’re being alone, remember we are on your side and don’t be afraid of all the fears you have.”

We see a cycle through the thirteen boys and it finally ends with leader S. Coups. His lines at the end of his video are more special. 

“I was afraid and anxious since I was all alone.” This is representative of all of the boys’ fears because we see them all tackle these fears alone. 

“Nevertheless we met on thirteen paths and eventually.” This ties in why the all showed up in each others videos. It shows that though they came from different places, different worlds, different opportunities, all of their paths eventually crossed. 

“A complete bond has formed leading us to our brightest moment.” We see that S. Coups finally meets with Jeonghan, bringing all of the videos in full cycle. This shows that together, they will be their best. 

I’m upset right now. I posted this as a comment to the video, but I’m posting it here too. I seriously hope I’m not talking over anyone in the response that I did make. Please let me know. I really am so disappointed with @markiplier, because for preaching respect, he overlooked that there are people who have been disrespected beyond Felix.


How about you talk to Felix about respect, Mark. Because respect isn’t a one-way street, and he hasn’t done anything to earn that respect from me. Of course everyone deserves the same rights and freedoms, but respect is not a right. Respect is earned. And if Felix wants respect, he needs to be respectful to the people he’s asking to receive respect from - and he’s done the exact opposite.

“Even if you just boil it down to common human decency … The golden rule still applies. You still need to treat people the way that you want to be treated." 

Really? Common human decency? Stuff like, maybe, not joking about the genocide of a group of people who have, many times through history, been the targets of hate, and of course, also a genocide.

Joking about something that has happened to real people who are still alive on this planet. People who were affected, by going through it themselves, or losing family members… That definitely feels like treating other people the way you want to be treated.


"Felix is not an antisemite, and Felix does not advocate hate." 

Felix may not be intending to come off as antisemetic. He very well may not wish death onto all Jews, I understand that. However, antisemitism is still a very real problem in the world, and is on a very violent rise.

Having a platform as big as Felix’s, and then joking about antisemitism does so much harm. It normalizes it. Whether that was the intent or not, that’s exactly what happened. As Felix himself said, "neo-Nazi groups have been referencing [him], have been praising [him], for making these kinds of jokes.” That’s an enormous problem. And yes, he did make a statement to clear up that he does not support these groups, but the problem that he said something that they outright agreed with, that they could use to say “look, someone hugely famous on the internet agrees with us” in the first place is still so wrong.


“And I’m not even defending the jokes that he made, because even he has apologized for some of the jokes that he did." 

Yes. He apologized in the most deflective way possible. He said it was about disagreeing with what he said. That’s not the entire picture. No, I don’t think Felix is actually a fascist, or a neo-Nazi, but he (whether or not it was inadvertent at this point really doesn’t matter) made jokes that fed into those ideals. That’s not okay. A half-assed apology that feels a lot like someone saying "I’m sorry you were offended”, which is a shit apology by the way because it doesn’t apologize for their actions at all, is not good enough.


So yeah, I agree, respect is important. But you can’t tell us to respect someone who has shown blatant disrespect for people himself. Even beyond this one incident, there’s a lot of stuff that’s been said by Felix over the years, for example, the use of slurs against a number of communities, that has outright disrespected those groups. You can’t hold us to this standard of having to show a person respect when he cannot respect us. 

I started by saying that respect is something earned, and that it’s not a one-way street. I think we may have different definitions of respect, because I agree that all people, regardless of how bad they are, are humans, are equals, deserve the same rights and freedoms as everyone else on the planet. But in my eyes, that’s not respect.

Respect, to me, is much deeper than that, and very abstract, but essentially, it involves thinking highly of that person and holding them in some esteem. And to do that, to respect someone like that, I need to have that returned in some capacity. I will not respect someone who has shown that he will not show any respect to others who have been harmed or in any way affected by his comments by so much as giving a genuine, not self-serving apology.

Yes, Felix deserves to be treated like a human being. Yes, there are people who are twisting things he did, such as the whole pointing off camera being turned into him doing a Nazi salute. But what he said was not okay. His apology was self-serving at best, and disingenuous at worst. And while you say you’re not defending the jokes that he made, you’re not condemning them either.

What Felix did was wrong. I get that you want to support a friend, but what was done was wrong. That can’t be overlooked. And by telling us to simply respect Felix right now overlooks that what he said affected people and takes away those peoples’ voices. That’s not a very respectful thing to do.

anonymous asked:

I imagine Louis laughing at Liam for wearing chains and making fun of him at every turn and then telling Harry straight away that the pink Gucci shirt with the bow makes his cheekbones look sharper and his eyes pop, everyone will swoon when they see him wearing it and he still doesn't know how he landed such a boy. Then Liam looks at the camera like he's in the office while Louis tells him "What Liam, thug life got you tongue?"

Why is this so real????

Burden of Proof

Word Count: 2357

Request: “ Thought; spontaneously dragging Steve of Bucky into random makeout sessions throughout the day and then just leaving him out of breath as you continue in with your business” And a very pleasant thought it is. 

Warning: Language, making out, and utter ridiculousness

A/N: I had more free time than I anticipated, so you’re getting this early. You have the snow storm to thank for this nonsense.

Steve Version

Originally posted by itsjustmycrazyvibe

“Ow ow ow ow ow!” you groaned through clenched teeth as Natasha dragged you through the halls and over the bodies of the incapacitated Hydra agents.

“Hush! There could still be some stragglers hanging around,” she hissed at you, readjusting her hold in order to pull you along more quickly.

“Well if you hadn’t been there to pull me out of the way, that delightful bullet would have definitely silenced me for good. You have only yourself to blame.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

*Whispers* will we ever get a lost keith update?

alright my dudes, here’s the 4th and final part of lost keef :) 

(i really hope this format is ok… this is my first time mixing texts and actual fic-style writing so i hope it makes sense and flows ok!)

part 1!!  |   part 2!!   |   part 3!!

Lance’s phone toppled to the floor of the cockpit as he sprinted for the exit. Fiery adrenaline coursed through his veins and his heartbeat pounded in his ears - a steady thrum of “Keith, Keith, Keith”. He rounded corner after corner, firing his rifle blindly and taking out galra drones left and right before finally (and impatiently) arriving at his destination.

As his weapon fired one last blast into the lock, he swung open the door and was surprised to find Keith sitting unceremoniously in the middle of the room. Darkness surrounded him and he was tied down, but when his eyes met Lance’s, a handful of emotions flooded his expression; shock, fear, hope, dread, each one seamlessly right after the other.

“Lance!” Keith cried, the shackles on his wrists clanked as they stopped him from reaching out. “Oh god, please leave… Lotor will -”

Lance wordlessly stomped across the room and planted his feet on either side of Keith’s before protectively holding the red paladin’s face between his hands. Bruises painted the pale skin of Keith’s face and he flinched when Lance reached out to him. He looked so… different. Lance could’ve gone his whole life without seeing Keith look as frail and defenseless as he did then.

“Forget about him, alright? I’m getting you out of here.”

“Y-you found me…” Keith stuttered out, leaning carefully into Lance’s touch.

“Of course I did, Mullet.” Lance smirked before shifting forward and pressing a possessive kiss into Keith’s forehead, “I love you. I’m saving you.”

A small smile played across Keith’s lips and Lance’s heart fluttered at the thought of getting his teammate back to safety in the castle ship. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling back and brushing a gentle thumb across a pale cheekbone but just when he started to forget where they were and why, Keith’s dark eyes darted past Lance’s gaze and fear replaced all the positive emotions the blue paladin had managed to coax out.

“Say cheese,” The shutter of an iPhone camera clicked, accompanying a sickeningly smooth voice that Lance knew belonged to Lotor without even looking. He turned and stood instantly, trying his best to shield Keith’s body with his own.

Remembering that his helmet was still functional, Lance jumped at the opportunity to alert the others as to where they were (which in hindsight he should’ve done right away but he’d yell at himself for that later).

“Guys! I found Keith! We’re in the room past the –” Lance’s words jolted to an involuntary stop and his teeth rattled in his head at the unexpected impact. When had he fallen to the floor? It had all happened so fast. He spat out blood and looked up to see Lotor standing above him, fists drawn.

“You really think I’d let you finish that sentence?” Lotor laughed, smirking evilly down at the blue paladin. Lance hated making eye contact with him, especially when he’d finally had the privilege of seeing Keith again; he never wanted to look at anyone else. His eyes avoided his aggressor’s gaze and darted up to his teammate instead.

Keith’s face was contorted in pure fear - something Lance had never witnessed before and never wanted to again. This was Keith, for god’s sake. Strong, stubborn, fearless Keith; the red paladin, known for always charging into dangerous situations without a second thought because he was crazy and hotheaded and lacked foresight. The memory of that Keith filled Lance’s entire being and fueled him to push forward. 

He sprung off the ground with newfound determination and managed to pin the unsuspecting Lotor down on his back. Lance hovered above him, glaring angrily down at the galran prince. 

“It’s quite pathetic, really,” Lotor began with a smile before Lance could get out any of the furious words his mouth considered, “He was so passionate and tenacious when he first arrived… But I showed him your messages everyday and he lost determination rather quickly.”

Lance’s arms were busy holding the prince down, so the rage that consumed him had nowhere else to escape but through a powerful headbutt (that he regretted almost instantly). He saw stars.

“Lance!” Keith screamed, but Lotor was already up off the ground and stalking across the room in Keith’s direction. Keith tried his best to avoid looking at Lotor; he’d learned over the last few weeks that that was the best course of action when trying to avoid making the prince angry.

Lotor reached out a hand and gripped the red paladin’s throat roughly, cutting off Keith’s breathing as quickly as he could. Keith trained his eyes on Lance, hoping that if he didn’t make it, at least he’d die looking at the person he loved. The edges of his vision darkened and he stayed silent - he knew Lotor was saying something to him, but he ignored him and kept watching Lance.

He would be okay as long as he could see Lance, and in that moment he could.

He saw Lance sit up. He saw Lance reach for his blaster. He saw Lance aim and he saw Lotor fall to the ground. The last thing he saw before slipping into unconsciousness was Lance running to his side.

~

When Keith fell out of the healing pod, the first thing he saw was Lance. 

Lance caught him and smiled down at him with that sparkly smile he used to use exclusively on pretty girls while crooning things like “Hellooo gorgeous, the name’s Lance”  and snapping finger guns in their direction. Keith chuckled at the memory and smiled back, earning a bright red blush from Lance.

“Thank you, L-” But the blue paladin wasn’t nearly patient enough to let him finish. His lips found Keith’s and didn’t let go until they both gasped for air. 

When they pulled apart, the other members of their team had long since left the room to give them more privacy and the smile shared between them was equal parts unsteady and elated. 

“Thank you for saving me,” Lance whispered into the dark hair above Keith’s ear. The red paladin jumped back in reply and quirked a confused eyebrow in Lance’s direction.

“B-but… You saved me…?”

“You have no idea how many times I almost gave up… Or how close I was to believing the others when they insisted you must be dead, Keith. I couldn’t eat or sleep or… anything. When you texted me back, you saved me. You brought me back and gave me a reason to fight again… So, thank you.”

Keith forced out a small laugh to cover the emotion stuck in his throat; he threaded his fingers into the hair at the base of Lance’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss. He stopped just before their lips met and looked directly into Lance’s deep blue eyes with a genuine smile.

 “You’re welcome.”

“love" by jack zimmermann || a zimbits fic || 3.3k

“Come in.” Bitty thanks the lord for the legitimate reprieve from the essay he’s been painfully forcing himself through all afternoon.

Jack enters, looking happier than normal. Bitty sees why immediately, and the smile that came onto his face when he saw Jack slips right back into a frown. Jack’s holding another memory card.

“I’m got some new footage,” Jack says in confirmation of Bitty’s fears.

“Jack, you’ve got to stop giving me new material.”

Jack’s smile drops at Bitty’s harsh tone, and his eyebrows draw together in a way that would be adorable if not for the circumstance and the fact Bitty is the one to make them that way. “Why?”

“Coz, honey, it’s not gonna help.” Bitty’s too exhausted to bother being embarrassed that the endearment slipped out.

Jack opens his mouth lamely. He looks down at the memory card in his hand then back to Bitty with sad eyes.

“Sit down.” Bitty gestures to his bed, thankful that he made it earlier while procrastinating. He rubs his sore eyes as Jack perches on the bed, then sighs out.

“Your assessment is to create a two-minute video based on love, yes?”

Jack nods. Bitty rubs at his eyes again, thinking of how to be honest without being hurtful.

“You’re an amazing photographer, and it comes across.” Jack picks his head up, looking hopefully at Bitty. It breaks his heart to have to continue. “But there’s no story here. There’s no love. I mean, unless your story is that you really love your camera. I can’t… I’m sorry, I can’t help you make anything out of this.”

Bitty tries to make his voice gentle. Jack turns his head away from Bitty anyway, but not quick enough that Bitty can’t see the hurt.

Bitty’s happily been helping Jack with his AV assessment after Jack asked. He gets to spend time with Jack doing something that Jack loves. But now he owes it as a friend to tell Jack the truth, even if it makes them both sad.

“Sorry, Bits,” Jack mumbles, still not looking at him.

“It’s alright.” Bitty already feels a little guilty for springing it on Jack with no warning. He crosses his arms, then realises that may come across as defensive if Jack ever looks back at him, so rests them back on his knees. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, I just want you to do well.”

Jack gives a brisk nod, but still avoids looking back at Bitty.

Bitty’s not sure what else he can do for Jack, so he simply waits.

Jack clears his throat after a moment and stands up. He looks at the memory card before putting it into a pocket.

“Thanks anyway. Sorry for interrupting your essay.”

“It’s alright,” Bitty repeats, but Jack’s already out the door.

Bitty slumps into his seat and stares at his closed door. He really didn’t mean to hurt Jack, but he didn’t think what he said would be that much of a shock either. Jack’s not ignorant to emotion, no-matter what the news articles sometimes say about him.

He swings his chair back round to stare at his essay, starting up on it again as a distraction.

Keep reading

“What!” Tater says. “Zimmboni, why are you smile so much?”

Jack looks up, the grin curving his face, and pushes the laptop back a little like a small invitation to watch. “My old team asked me to watch some of their tape and give them some feedback. They… get a little goofy.”

Tater happily settles in next to Jack to get a look at the people Jack loves so much, and grins himself at their warmup antics, at the coordinated dances the captains do after a goal, at the way the boys mug the rinkside camera, like they know it’s for Jack. He stays sitting when Jack finishes writing his post-game notes, starts up the next video. The file name says it’s a practice, not a game.

The overhead camera shows that one of the captains is geared up and doing laps around the empty rink with their team manager on his shoulders; after a second the figure obscuring the rinkside camera backs up from where he was turning it on, and carefully checks it over before backing up more, so he can make sure it’s perfectly positioned. He’s the second captain, the fearless one who occasionally pulls off prodigies of stick-handling, who gives the camera a heart-melting grin and a thumbs up before turning and skating away. OLURANSI, his jersey says.

Tater unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “I like your team,” he says. “I come meet them, yes? You introduce us.”

Jack looks apprehensive for a minute, and Tater tries not to feel hurt, but then he smiles. “They’d love that.”

I’m love that,” Tater says firmly, and then looks back at the screen. Other players are coming in, so Birkholtz and Oluransi have put the team manager down, put their serious faces on; but Oluransi’s smile lives on in the warmth of Tater’s stomach.

Caught

This was inspired by Harry’s sixth sense. ;)

A/N: not smut, but brief mention of a daddy kink in this one! 



The dingy metal door falls against the brick wall with a loud thud as you two stumble out of the pub and into the alleyway. It shuts just as loudly a few seconds later and for a moment all that you two can hear is the sound of the night air in London whooshing away. The alleyway is dark for the most part, a flickering dim yellow streetlight a few feet away is situated so that Harry is partly illuminated by it.

“What’re we-”

Come here!” you command, blindly reaching forward and seizing him by the lapels of his shirt to clumsily tug him towards you.

Your back hits the brick wall behind you as you fumble with your feet, head following with a thunk and Harry hisses immediately.

Careful! Christ, c’mere, are yeh okay?” he rasps as one of his big hands slides up behind your head and rubs your scalp soothingly,  his eyes flicker over the top of your head in a squinted stare.

“M’fine, Harry, ” you whine back to him, tugging him closer as you wrap your arms around his waist.

Harry grunts in reply a few seconds later after a thorough examination of your head before turning his gaze towards your face. Your cheeks are flushed and your hair is flying messily from the static of being pressed up against the bricks, but your eyes are what make him pause. They’re wild, bright, and he’s enamored by the gleam in them.  He wonders if it’s the darkness or the fact that he’s watched you toss back a handful of drinks tonight, but he can’t find the drunken haze in your eyes that usually appears when you’ve had one too many. You’re biting your lip harshly and his eyes fall down to them, thumb reaching up and smoothing out your bottom lip.

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Some Mob headcanons

I wrote these a while ago and forgot about them, might as well post them now I guess

  • Poor sense of direction
    • he has no idea where things are in relation to each other
    • always sticks to the streets he knows, which makes him take enormous detours to get to places sometimes 
      • ((It’s not so bad, he likes walking and looking at the sky for a few hours anyways))
    • when walking with others, he lets them lead the way and barely pays attention to where he’s going
      • this gets problematic when they go to a place together but then leave seperately. Reigen figured this out after he called Mob 3 hours after a job, all “sorry for calling you twice in a row but can you come over again?” and Mob says sure he can, but it might still take him a while to find his way out of these woods
        • there weren’t any woods near that job. How the hell did that happen. Also he isn’t sure, but that might be a bear in the distance
          • ((Reigen has never tracked down Mob’s phone signal this quickly. They always go back to the office together after that))
  • Very, very bad with numbers
    • not only when it comes to math, but with numbers in general
    • sometimes reads the time wrong or just immediately forgets it again after looking at the clock, is frequently surprised by how late/early it is
    • actually doesn’t know people’s birthdays. You’re insanely lucky if he remembers the month
      • he is painfully aware of this though. He forgot Ritsu’s birthday once when they were very little. Since then he makes sure to mark everyone’s birthday in every calendar and to set a few thousand alarms on his phone to remind him in time
    • can’t estimate numbers for the life of him
      • Reigen wants to call in for one of these TV games, like Guess how many paper cranes are in this jar, you can win 100k Yen! and Mob just looks at this jar for a while and goes “5 billion.” Because there’s gotta be a lot in there right, and that’s a big number, and no he isn’t joking, not on purpose anyway, why would you think that Master?
        • ((Reigen grumbles unhappily and finally strikes clairvoyance from his secret list of possible Mob powers that he keeps in his desk))
  • Eats spicy food like a badass
    • as in, really spicy
    • as in, Ritsu’s eyes are already watering just from looking at that habanero sauce and Teru is desperately pretending to be okay after trying just one tiny bite, but he’s glowing red and tears are streaming down his face and he actually cannot breathe, somebody help him
    • Mob doesn’t really get it, tries another spoon full just to be sure and admits that “it does tingle a bit”
    • Shou tries to turn it into a youtube challenge, the Eat what Mob eats without dying challenge, but it doesn’t really gain traction
      • ((mostly because nobody can see what’s going on in the videos, he’s way too excited and they turn out all shaky. Also Ritsu keeps pushing the camera away))

just imagine the trailer for the raven cycle tv show.. 

it starts with the gang getting out of the camaro and walking through cabeswater, a stag runs away in the distance

the camera zooms in on noah, as he walks farther into cabeswater, and a skull quickly flashes over his face as the scene slowly gets darker

then it pans over to adam who is lying in the grass. the grass just slowly grows over him and it just swallows him up

then onto blue who is walking to this giant tree and just as she turns to look back at the camera she vanishes behind the tree.. almost like she disappeared into it

next onto ronan who has a unkindness of ravens (i think that is the term) circling him into a tornado of them. he just fades into them

then the camera gets to gansey, with cabeswater behind him, … he’s all nicely dressed.. he’s wearing a crown with golden bees on it.. they start to come alive and you see panic in his eyes,  the camera still zooming in towards him…

as chainsaw flies up from behind him, and grabs his crown off his head as she flies into the camera.

it goes black and the raven cycle flashes across the screen.


and that’s it. that’s all that is shown. in a way we get the whole story and almost nothing at all. @maggie-stiefvater