Why each Wolf 359 character would be arrested (Sarah, Gabriel, and Zach’s on-the-fly headcanons):
Yesterday during the March 2017 Patreon AMA I asked the following question in the chat:
“What crime would each character most likely get arrested for?” This is under the assumption that they were never sent into space and therefore can’t be arrested for stuff they did on the Hephaestus (like murder). Also, we know one reason why Eiffel was arrested but I have a hard time believing that that was his only scrape* with the law.“
[*Note: I accidentally wrote scrap in the chat.]
Eiffel: breaking and entering or disorderly conduct (they joked about Eiffel’s middle name being "disorderly conduct”).
Jacobi: "Arson. That’s very clear.“
Maxwell: Cyber crime.
Hera: Cyber crime, if not cyber terrorism.
Minkowski: Enforcing the law while not being a police officer.
Lovelace: Extreme speeding ("Tokyo Drifting” adds Gabriel)
Kepler: "You’ll never catch him.“
Hilbert: At first they thought "bio warfare” but immediately agreed upon “malpractice” when Zach mentioned him breaking the Hippocratic Oath.
Kepler, part 2: Insurance fraud or tax evasion (Zach suggested war crimes but Sarah said he’d be able to get away with those)
(At this point you hear police sirens outside of where they’re streaming from and Zach responds “There goes Lovelace.”)
Kepler, part 3: Gabriel jokes that every year Kepler mails the IRS a threatening photo of himself with the blunt force trauma face. Zach and Sarah follow up by saying the IRS mails Kepler a tax return check.