and then suddenly shakespeare

anonymous asked:

Can you write a bughead oneshot where they don't talk about the first kiss and dance around it for a while. Suddenly their schools Shakespeare company is doing a production of Romeo and Juliet (ironically) but the thing is Juggie doesn't get the role of Romeo (like Reggie or Archie does) and he interrupts the show midway through by reading the dialogue at the first meeting scene. Sorry it's super specific but I love your oneshots

This one was really fun to write, hope you enjoy it!

“I need everyone to quiet down!”

The theatre director stood backstage in the middle of chaos - costume pieces flying every which way, scripts fluttering across the hardwood floor, actors and actresses practicing their lines in their not-so-inside voices.

“Reggie, stop putting the props in Chuck’s ear, what did I say after the last time?” She hurried over to the boys standing by the props table, her long hair whipping over her shoulder as she frantically ripped the tiny object out of Reggie’s hand.

“I can’t believe we’re being forced to perform such an archaic piece of literary garbage. It’s so outdated,” Veronica whined, tossing her script onto a folding chair by the side of the stage. “I mean what teenager nowadays would climb up to someone’s window as a way of declaring one’s affections for them?”

Betty’s eyes went wide as she glanced at Jughead, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

“No one,” Betty said almost too quickly, fiddling with a fraying piece of fabric on her costume and avoiding Veronica’s gaze.

“Exactly, B, glad to see you’re on my side on this one,” Veronica beamed at Betty before pulling on the arm of her dress and frowning. “Although, the fact that you’re our Juliet isn’t really helping the cause.”

Jughead gently pulled Betty away from Veronica, leaning in close to her ear so no one else could hear them.

“Bets, are we ever going to talk about it?” Jughead whispered. “It’s been weeks.”

“Talk about what?” Betty feigned confusion as she turned away from him to busily flip through her script. 

“You know what,” Jughead muttered, lowering his gaze to give her a knowing look.

“Alright, that’s enough!” The director’s voice rose above the chatter, signaling to to the group that it was time to meet with her in the center of the stage. “Gather around everyone, we don’t have a lot of time!”

“You said to pretend like nothing happened,” Betty reminded Jughead, looking back at him struggling to keep of with her as she hurried to join the rest of the group. “So that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Jughead, honestly, the faster you’re done wasting my time, the faster I can be done wasting yours,” the director sighed, turning to the students staring at her with bored expressions and taking an annoyed breath. “As you all know, our first performance of Romeo and Juliet is tomorrow. You all have put a lot of work into this and I expect that you will treat the performance with as much respect as it deserves. In other words, if you make a mockery of this program, I will see you in detention for an entire month - I’m looking at you Reggie. Okay, let’s get this over with!”

“Betty, I didn’t mean for us to skirt around each other like we were never even friends,” Jughead explained, taking her by the elbow and spinning her around slightly to meet his gaze. “I miss talking to you.”

“I miss you too, Juggie,” Betty admitted, her lips twitching into a faint smile as she allowed herself get lost in his eyes for a moment.

“Juliet, wherefore art thou Romeo? I know that’s not what that really means, but- oh never mind,” the director stammered, but stopped abruptly when she realized a dozen eyes were staring at her like she was crazy. “Seriously, Betty, where is he?”

“I’m here, Ms. Machin!”

As if on cue, Archie Andrews burst through the stage door to join the rest of his classmates on the stage.

“Sorry, I had music rehearsal with the pussycats and-” Archie struggled to catch his breath as he quickly tried to explain himself, but was cut off by an aggravated Ms. Machin shoving his costume in his face.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’ve put so much time and effort into other activities, Archie, but we have a performance tomorrow,” Ms. Machin reminded him. “So can we please run through this play before I start ripping my hair out of my head?”

“Yikes,” Veronica winced. “Sounds like someone needs a good long bath and a bottle of merlot after this horrid play is over and done with. And I don’t just mean me.”

“So are we okay?” Jughead asked, turning to Betty as she watched the group disperse in front of her. “You and me?”

“That depends,” Betty shrugged. “What did the kiss mean?”

“Bets, why do we have to decide that right now, I don’t-”

Rolling her eyes, Betty turned away from Jughead, already tired of hearing this answer, and made her way across the stage to look up at Archie putting one arm through the jacket that accompanied his costume.

“Arch, can we go over the blocking for our last scene together one more time?” Betty asked. “I just want to be sure I have it down perfectly.”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Archie agreed, tugging on the hem of his jacket and smiling down at her as they headed off to a quieter location to practice.

“Okay, what is going on with you two?” Veronica emerged from somewhere behind Jughead, gesturing towards Betty with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve been dodging each other for weeks. Seriously I watched Betty dive into the girl’s bathroom just to avoid running into you last week. Something happened between you two didn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Jughead muttered, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably and staring at a spot in the hardwood floor. “Maybe.”

“Oh my god, I knew it!” Veronica exclaimed, her face brightening at the thought of an unexpected romance. “But wait, then what’s the problem?”

“A few weeks ago, we kind of had…” Jughead fidgeted in his spot, lowering his voice so he couldn’t be heard by any unsuspecting ears. “A moment.”


“We kissed,” Jughead admitted. “And afterwards I kind of… freaked out.”

“Like you ran screaming in the other direction like a five-year-old afraid of those people in the creepy character costumes at an amusement park?” Veronica asked, her brows drawing together as she tried to comprehend what he was saying.

“No,” Jughead sighed. “I just - I panicked and didn’t think she wanted it to happen. I mean, it was kind of out of the blue. But then again, it really wasn’t. Anyway, I told her just to pretend like it didn’t happen and now…”

“Now she’s treating you like you’re a piece of gum on the bottom of her shoe,” Veronica finished for him, nodding as if she understood exactly what he was talking about. “I mean you try to ignore it, but it keeps making itself known every time you walk and it sticks to the floor.”

“Kinda harsh,” Jughead scoffed. “But essentially - yes.”

“Well lucky for you, Ronnie knows how to fix even the direst dating woe,” Veronica assured him, her lips curling into a devilish smirk. “And believe it or not, this situation is not that dire. Here’s what you need to do - you need to show her that you really do want to be with her. Make some grand gesture, do whatever it takes to get her to believe you.”

“Well, how do I do that?”

“That part’s up to you my friend,” Veronica told him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she turned to Archie and Betty at the other end of the stage. “But if I were you, I’d do it soon. Her Romeo is literally her dream Romeo, so I’d act fast.”

With that, Veronica crossed the stage to talk to a few of the girls in charge of the set decoration, leaving Jughead to watch as Betty laughed at something Archie was saying from across the stage.

“But he’s not,” Jughead muttered to himself, thinking back to the day he crawled into her room and kissed her like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Okay, let’s run through the balcony scene before we do a complete run-through!” Ms. Machin directed the group, gesturing for everyone to get into places with frantic hands. “Let’s go, people, the clock is ticking!”

“Okay, Juggie, it’s now or never,” Jughead whispered under his breath. “You might not be her Romeo in the play, but you were her Romeo when you climbed through her window the other day.”

“Alright, Act 2, Scene 2,” Ms. Machin clapped her hands together as the actors began to file into their positions. “Juliet appears on the balcony above, Romeo is below when he spots her and-”

Archie stepped onto the stage, glancing up at Betty with a look of longing as he began to deliver his lines.

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the-”

Jughead couldn’t wait anymore. Before he could talk himself out of it, he hopped out from behind the lighting booth and made his way onto the stage.

“It is the east and Juliet is the sun,” Jughead finished the line for Archie, causing dozens of eyes to look to him with curious -yet intrigued- expressions.

“Jughead Jones, I will not have you make a mockery of-” Ms. Machin’s face was beet red from anger, but Veronica stepped behind her to place a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Let him finish!” Veronica insisted, nodding for Jughead to finish the line as he stood in front of the balcony, looking up at Betty.

“Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou fair maid art far more fair than she,” Jughead continued, meeting Betty’s gaze with a look of regret and sorrow. “I messed up Bets. I should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago, but I was scared. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way so I kind of - freaked out.”

“Juggie, all you had to do was talk to me,” Betty told him, taking a step closer to the edge of the balcony and leaning over it to smile down at him. “You can talk to me about anything.”

“I know,” Jughead met her smile before turning to everyone watching them and taking a deep breath. “So I’m asking you this now, in front of our entire class - will you go out with me?”

“Of course I will,” Betty answered, and a roar of cheers coming from the cast made an embarrassed giggle escape her lips.

Before anyone could protest, Jughead started climbing up the ladder meant to look like vines crawling up the side of the building and hoisted himself up and over the balcony to join Betty.

“Mr. Jones, that set it to be handled with care don’t you-” Ms. Machin yelled from the stage, but Jughead was already up and over before she could finish her sentence.

“Now, that’s the kind of play I would be excited about performing,” Veronica muttered to herself, clapping her hands together happily as she watched her friends smile at one another with goofy grins.

“Feel familiar?” Jughead asked as they stood in front of the hand-built window, his hands on her waist as she took a step closer to him.

“No yet,” Betty breathed before closing the space between them and placing her hands on his cheeks, their lips meeting with a kiss that was even better than their first.

I was given a surprise seat upgrade at my third visit to Falsettos today, and my goodness… the show is in such beautiful shape I cannot wait for the PBS taping to air so everyone can see it. Christian’s hair is roughly the same length as it was in Something Rotten! now, so I was very amused that Marvin suddenly looked a lot more like Shakespeare. :)

Everyone’s performances continue to blow me away. I’m still especially moved by Christian’s career-defining performance as Marvin. I’ve never seen him more in love with Andrew’s still-excellent Whizzer, or as emotional with Anthony Rosenthal’s Jason, or as chummy with Betsy and Tracie’s lesbians next door than what I saw this evening. And Stephanie J. Block… can we just FedEx her a Tony six months early? I gave her a standing ovation after “I’m Breaking Down” - and a couple people joined me!

Seriously though, if you can make it to Falsettos’ final week on Broadway, GO. It’s truly a perfect revival of a perfect musical.

(Slightly unrelated but I ran into John O'Farrell, cowriter of Something Rotten!, at Falsettos… so I’ve seen Karey and Wayne and John already this trip!)

I work at Arkham Asylum as a janitor. The other day I was practicing lines for a Shakespeare play as I mopped the hallway, and suddenly I heard someone say “with more feeling to it, don’t just spout the lines”. Turns out Victor Fries is an amateur acting coach. #guessvillainshavetobedramatic #hewasreallyhelpfulthough #theplaywasasuccess #onlyingotham

Imagine Andy Serkis playing Richard III in Gollum’s voice...

Richard loves Richard; that is, I am I.
Is there a murderer here? No. Yes, I am.
Then fly! What, from myself? Great reason. Why?
Lest I revenge. Myself upon myself? (…)
I am a villain. Yet I lie: I am not.
Fool, of thyself speak well.–Fool, do not flatter.  
(5.5.137-140; 145-146)

…you’re welcome.


30 days of Krista and Becca Ritchie: day twenty four ~ a shakespeare quote

Connor slides beside me on the bed, his legs nestled against mine. He fingers my diamond necklace, smoothing the thin chain and inadvertently tickling the hollow of my collar. I glasp his hand before the sensation makes me squirm.

He stares at me deeply, whispering. “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”

One of my favorite quotes. I turn a fraction, just enough so that our lips don’t suddenly collide. “Shakespeare,” I breathe.

“Very good.”

My thoughts migrate to my heart. A kiss is at a breath’s distance, and despite my sore body, I want a repeat of last night.

Love all. Love. I’ve accepted Connor for who he is, even his anti-love beliefs. But why the hell did he have to choose that quote?

“You can’t seduce me with Shakespeare.” I command my thoughts to return to my brain. Come back, Non-Gooey Rose. I put considerable amount of distance between our lips, scooting to the right. “Especially with a quote about love.”

“Darling, I don’t need to seduce you,” he says, “I already have you.”


Markiplier is a bird: Storkiplier.

Markiplier visits a park: Parkiplier.

Markiplier pops the cork off a sparkling cider bottle: Corkiplier.

Markiplier is snarky: Snarkiplier.

Markiplier is incognito: Clarkiplier.

Markiplier is now a predatoral fish: Sharkiplier.

Markiplier does Shakespear: Harkiplier.

Markiplier is suddenly Iron Man: Starkiplier.

Markiplier is secretly an extra-terrestrial: Zarkiplier.

It was summer vacation of freshman year and I was home from college with my fam in North Carolina.  I went up to Dartmouth and was learnin all sorts of shit – New Hampshire’s a pretty libertarian state, I mean they don’t pay taxes, but also lots of liberals.  I was always well behaved, a good reader, kinda bookish, smart enough to know that studying was my way out of a small town.

Well of course I got caught up in what I was being taught in school and became a cultural critic and political salvationist like they all are.  So I smarted off to my conservative dad that summer trying to show off what I’d learned.  Big mistake. We had it out and argued for a month – I knew I was right.  He even slapped me at one point after pinning me to the floor, and the next damn day after that he pulled me from school, said he wouldn’t pay for it anymore, and drove me right down to the ROTC and made me sign off.

No more liberal in the making for me.  Sayonara to Shakespeare and Camus – suddenly I’m sleeping in dorms, lickin boots and doing pushups.  I cried a lot at first, complained and wrote letters, but pretty soon it starts taking effect and my body starts changing from boot camp.

Like my t-shirts start feeling snug, and before I know it they don’t even fit right anymore – one time I tried to pull one on and I ripped the sleeve off.  The guy on the bunk next to me, he tosses me a medium and suddenly I’m wearing a medium.  I’m now a medium, I think, dazed.  Only they don’t let up.  They work me all summer with physical labor and more of the facile – I think that’s what I called it – instructions from my drill sergeant that are just meant to build you up.  I’m still wishing I were at Dartmouth pursuing my dreams when, by the end of the quarter, even a medium doesn’t fit me so well.  I can see my pecs pushing out against it, the seams tight on my shoulder – and before you know it I’m a fucking large.  Holy shit, I’m a fuckin large.  I’m turning into a muscle dude or somethin.

Hardly even recognize myself with the high and tight.  Getting so vascular, I can’t help but take in what all this exercise is doing to me.  They’ve always got me working up a sweat and showering it off, I’m hungry all the time.  Hair even starts sproutin up on my abs and across my chest before I hardly even realize it’s growin in.  Never had any before all the constant working out jacked my T and made my hormones run wild.  My legs got hairier, too.  My lower legs did for sure, and never really had any hair on my thighs before at all.  Now I do.

They got this new recruit across the bunk from me now just this morning and he says he doesn’t think he wants to be here.  I start telling him, dude, I know what you’re goin through, I’m not supposed to either as I wipe my brow with a towel.  He goes “yeah but you got the body for it, I don’t”.

“Yeah?” I say, kind of feeling cool that he’s impressed with this.  I flex for him and smirk a little, friendly though.  "You think I’m getting there?“

I end up pattin him on the back tellin him he’ll do great, that I was his size when I started, and then I go hit the showers.  They got a mirror in the bunker back where they store a lot of dry goods so I go check myself out.  Holy shit.  I gotta flex for this – it’s like I really like this, maybe.  I mean I’m undeniably more handsome.  Took some getting used to, for sure.  But by the end of the year I’m actually comfortable walking around without a shirt on.  What’s more, I kinda love doing that, just kind of casually to show off and enjoy the fresh air.

I go home on the next summer break and I even walk around downtown in a tank top or go jogging shirtless every morning just to keep it up.  Only thing is my hormones are fuckin out of control, like pent up, I haven’t had time to get started with a girlfriend at camp or anything like that, and haven’t really been wanting to, honestly.  So one night I get drunk and before you know it me and this local punk – some nobody with a mohawk – I don’t know, he’s cocky and different and fun to argue with because he thinks he can give me shit or knows me.  Something about that attracts me, so I take him back to my dad’s barn after I promise to drive him home and end up making out with him in his har.  Anyhow I get him to the barn with the lights off in my car so nobody hears and fuck the shit out of him right in the straw.  Like I pump that ass so full of cum.  He’s a muscular little punk too, scrawny but must work out a bunch.  I make him swear to God not to tell anyone and he’s fine with it, like yeah, he fuckin loves it, I figure I can trust him or nobody would ever believe it anyway, not like he knows my last name.  I give him this sloppy kiss goodbye – sick, right – and smack him on the ass and tell him maybe again sometime if he sees me out.

Fuck, only thing is I’m craving sex again like almost the next day already.  That was so hot last night.  Can’t let my parents find out, but fuck!  It felt so good.  I wish there were more gay football players or just regular dudes.  Sometimes when I jog through the town in the morning I see other runners and check out their asses.  Just want to hook up with a hot jock almost every morning, now, but haven’t had the change.  I think I admitted to myself I’m gay, though I’d never call it that.  Sometimes I have to beat off in front of a mirror and am even gettin in to twistin my own nipples and finger fuckin myself, but I gotta butch look and make it hot, I’m not some weirdo about it.

When I’m back on the base I’m gonna try and see if there’s any guys who swing my way.  I really want to bang with a jock this summer first, though.  When I’m out of recruitment for good I can go off base and do that all the time but I gotta get ready to go back soon so there isn’t much time left in the summer.  Fuckin in love with my body, dudes.  So glad they got me away from being a smartmouthed wimp.  I never was this horny before they sent me to bootcamp, so I guess it backfired on them, probably would have stayed in the closed too. Just wouldn’t have been as compelled to have to start busting this nut.  I totally didn’t plan it in that bar or even going, but couldn’t help myself almost, you know?  Plus look at me, it’s like my whole body is meant to get it on.

Can’t help feelin this way, my hormones are just way stronger than when I was in college.  I think about pecs, bis, ass, scruff on a dude constantly now.  Kinda don’t know how I’m gonna keep it in check.