and then somebody had to ruin it

I wish the world wasn’t so cruel and heartless. I wish not giving a fuck didn’t become a world wide trend. I wish people spoke with kindness and knew what it meant to be genuine. I wish social media didn’t take so many lives and ruin so much confidence. I wish money didn’t feed the rich and I wish the poor had a voice somebody cared about. I wish the world would wake up and do something about racism rather than speak on trending topics they know nothing about. I wish knowledge was as popular as followers. I wish Tupac was still alive, to inspire the ghettos’ I wish Martin was here to motivate the youth. I wish things were so different that I’m so consumed in my world wind of “what if’s”.

@indreamswake I agree with this completely. I don’t like the double standard here at all and i hope they fucking fix it in the next episode….zilpha had every right to kill thorne and james has people he is keeping close to him who have done way worse than that. He better be protecting her or i’m going to be under pissed off

On reddit somebody said James probably did it to protect her but she will end up doing something stupid that will ruin his plans. It’s always a woman screwing everything up isn’t it? ugh. 

I can’t with people defending Thorne and trying to make Zilpha look bad. Also defending James actions with her. What James did was a major asshole move. He is in love with her for 10+ years, comes to London, declares his love, pursues her restlessly, has sex with her and then he is like “you know what? Forget it. Here’s a diamond for your troubles”. I wish people would try to put themselves on Zilpha’s shoes. She might be unstable but the way he played her was really cruel and he did that to somebody he claimed to love. If Zilpha finds a way to screw him over I will be rooting here. 

It Hurts.

So basically this whole idea came to me whilst I was listening to this song.

Particularly the line “Baby I’m not made of stone, it hurts.”

Summary: Reader and Bucky have been messing around for months but she is adamant that there are no feelings involved. But when she meets somebody else and Bucky decides to ruin her engagement night she is swiftly forced to reevaluate the whole situation. There are feelings involved but is it too late for her to act upon them now that she’s ruined everything with Bucky?

Warnings: Angst…So much angst! Potential for fluff..maybe?

Words: c, 2,283

Originally posted by buckypupbarnes

The first time you had fallen into bed with Bucky, you had told him this wasn’t love, this would never be love and as he pressed you into the mattress beneath his body, you felt like he had understood that.

When you found yourself repeatedly stumbling into his bed for almost a year and reiterating that it wasn’t love every time, he had kissed the words from your lips and you had always assumed that he knew that.

When he kissed you in the backseat of the cinema once, or once when you two went on a mission that was particularly testing on both of your bodies, you had always assumed that what you guys had was just two people finding comfort in each other, because well, it definitely wasn’t love.

You had an open and easy friendship that centred around flirting and teasing, and you had gotten mad at Steve for warning Bucky against you because Bucky knew the situation between you two, and it wasn’t love so no one was going to get hurt.

Bucky had taken other girls on dates, he had stayed out all night with other girls and it had never been a problem. You were what you were and it wasn’t your fault if Steve didn’t understand that.

You were curled up under Bucky’s sheets one night and he had an arm lazily wrapped around you when he suddenly spoke.

“Maybe we should go out on a date some time?” he suggested into the darkness and you had laughed.

“Why on earth would we do that?”

“You’re right!” he laughed along “It was a silly idea, why would we?”

You shook your head with a smile and settled down against his body “Goodnight Buck,”

“Goodnight,” he said softly.

When he woke up the bed was empty.

You weren’t sure what happened but Bucky seemed to become slightly guarded around you for a little while after that night. He started seeing more girls, going on more dates and staying out later and later.

It was odd behaviour and Steve seemed perplexed by it too.

“Did you guys have an argument?” he asked after a few weeks of this behaviour and when you wracked your brains you could honestly answer no.

Keep reading

Dude! So many videos of my drunken ass shuffling and singing are going around campus. I didn’t see this coming at all. Not the getting drunk part. I knew that’d happen. I planned for it. At least I had fun. Go hard or go home, am I right ladies and gentleman? I hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s night with my shenanigans. If so, I apologize. I’ll make it up to you somebody, somehow. But I’m not singing for you again. I’m retired.

Anyway. Did anyone see the new Spiderman Home Coming trailer?! I’m so hyped to see it!

His heart dropped into his socks when he saw her, but he didn’t want to presume that she was ready to come back to more than that. I think the whole realm of emotions and loving somebody is very strange territory that he has largely avoided or had been robbed from him in his life, so he’s very cautious in terms of the way he acts with her.
—  Clark Gregg, trying to ruin me apparently
So I’m gonna need some answers

Somebody from the bowl explain to me why on my tinder date tonight he was telling me that multiple girls my age have been hitting him up asking him if he’s interested in a SD/SB relationship? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YALL OUT HERE DOING?

BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING FROM ESTABLISHED SB’S, the whole idea of vanilla sites is to use them as a form of fucking online freestlying. Ease them into the idea of being a SD. Hell they don’t even need to know. Just fucking get into their hearts and MILK THEM. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS RUINING FUCKING TINDER TOO? SOON NONE OF THE 45+ MEN ARE GONNA WANT TO FUCKING DATE US. WHY WOULD YOU APPLY SA TACTICS TO MEN ON A VANILLA SITE I JUST DON’T GET IT? DO YOU WALK INTO A BAR AND JUST START ASKING OLD MEN FOR MONEY I DON’T GET IT. SOMEBODY HELP ME UNDERSTAND. HE SAID AT LEAST 3 GIRLS HAVE APPROACHED HIM IN THIS MANNER AND I HAD TO FUCKING SIT THERE AND PRETEND TO BE SOOOOOOO IN SHOCK. YALL ARE PUTTING THEIR GUARDS UP. I HAVE FUCKING SEEN SOME OF THEM EXPLICITLY STATE IN THEIR PROFILE TO NOT SWIPE RIGHT IF YOU’RE LOOKING OF AN SD. STOP FUCKING WITH MY MONEY

@mancnfire

Barry was starting to get tired of trying to convince his family and friends that he was fine. He was pushing past the mess that had happened. Slowly. Sort of. He had managed to resist the temptation of trying to travel back in time. He hadn’t gone back to save his mom and change his dad’s life. He had let the horrifying moments of his life stay, despite every fiber of his being screaming to change it. Barry was fine.

When even Caitlin was starting to look at him funny, and gently suggest he try to move forward, go out and see somebody, well. Barry both got the hint, and wanted to go against what people expected. Everyone seemed to be pushing for Barry to go be with Iris. Because Iris was finally ready for whatever was going on between them. Barry wanted to run the opposite direction. He didn’t want to ruin things with Iris. He didn’t want his own cocky personality destroy her life as it had already destroyed his.

So instead he found himself at Saints and Sinners, the bar he knew Leonard Snart tended to frequent. The exact opposite of what people would expect. Barry glanced around the bar, not finding him, but catching sight of Heatwave, or Mick Rory instead. Before he could consider what a bad idea this might actually be, he found himself sitting down next to the guy, gesturing to the bartender for a beer and to get Rory another round of what he had.

“Hi. You’re Mick Rory right? I’m Barry…Barry Allen. I heard I could come to you to make a deal?” That was a complete lie, but it was better than letting the Flash business give himself away.

anonymous asked:

I think i might be in love with my fp. I know she doesn't love me back ( in romantic way) bc we are friends. I don't want her to abandon me bc of my feelings. What do you think i should do?

i’m not really good when it comes to relationships, because i tend to ruin every friendship i’ve ever had, and i’ve also never dated anyone before, but i’d say that maybe you should keep it to yourself for a while and ease into it. i would hate to see your relationship be completely ruined (so maybe it’s not to best to follow any of my advice lmao), but if you’re afraid it’s not the right decision, then take some time to think about it. she could express feelings for you first, or maybe after enough time has passed you might find somebody else??? all i’m saying is there’s no rush, and it might not be the best idea to rush because it could make things awkward.

i’m so sorry for this pathetic answer to your question, i tried my best but i’m just not having a very good day. i really hope this is somewhat helpful-ish, and i hope you have a great day and everything works out in your favor <3

@orderisoutofstyle

“It just haaaad to be magic,” Wally grumbled to himself, readjusting the settings on his goggles. The ruins he’d tracked down were setting of the charms Zatanna had given him like crazy. Fantastic…

Alright, zoom in, grab the artifact and zoom right back out! No problem! He could definitely avoid any boobie traps this magic stuff sent his way….yep…

“Come on, Wally. Just get in there!” he said clapping his hands together. He wasn’t frightened, per se, but this whole thing was sending shivers up his spine. Yeaaah, he’d understood why his teammates had sent him alone. There hadn’t been any activity in the area lately…but the league was more comfortable having the artifact than letting somebody else get it. (Apparently the thing could make souls or something else equally creepy)

So here he was. On a simple retrieval mission that he was absolutely sure he’d been assigned to simply so the team could tease him about it.

Wally raced towards the ruins at full speed, but  a small tingling feeling emitting from Zatanna’s charm alerted him to a new magical presence. “Wha-” he scowled looking at the bracelet. The thing could tell him what direction it was coming from, right?

And that was where he’d messed up. Wally stumbled over a rock. At normal speeds, it was just a small nuisance. At his speeds?

He heard the crack in his bone just a few moments before the pain registered. His body was flung some distance before he finally lost trajectory and came to a painful stop. With a groan of pain, the speedster flipped himself over so that he was lying on his back and glanced down towards the leg. Yikes. Definitely broken.

“Great!” he shouted up to the sky and laying back to cover his face with his hands. This would be a hilarious story to tell the team.

6

- Why is having a gay son is so bad?

- His sexuality is not the issue, it’s you! Everyone who you ever been in a relationship with has been ruined by you Amy, Doug, John Paul, Sinead all of them. All of them had been completely, utterly broken by your selfish, destructive behaviour! 

- It is goint to be different with Harry. Yeah, because I love him.

- Two weeks down the line you will love somebody else, Ste, because that’s just what you do… He is just your latest addiction… You are just a car crash, Ste. A dirty, stinkin’ addict.

anonymous asked:

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Richard Trager's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

      Really? You don’t fucking say. ❜

     Laughter falls from his mouth, he can’t hold it in. It’s pathetic in his eyes. Everything he’d said and done had been well deserved. Fuck that place. Fuck every single fucker who had tried to kill him in there. 

      ❛ Ironically enough, I feel pretty fucking satisfied with the shit I did. Ruining that sick bastards life was the god damn highlight. I’m going to carry the mentally scarring memories of that place and a plus one for the rest of my life. At least I have the pleasure of knowing I took some form of revenge on at least one of them. ❜

Home Part 3:

Band Member: Ashton

Type: Gang AU

Description: Your brother is the leader of the most feared “club” in your town, the Ravens. You’ve grown up around the violence and the distress, it’s second nature to you now. You no longer flinched when somebody raised their fists or felt sick when you saw the blood. But then this soft spoken boy enters your life and shows you another way to live, throwing you into calamity.

Please read Home and Home Part 2 first!

Sometimes home isn’t a place, sometimes it’s a person. But what do you do when you get homesick and the person you call home doesn’t want to hold you anymore?

It was a dilemma you often faced now Ashton didn’t want to see you. Your body craved for his arms to envelop you but you knew that wasn’t a possibility. The club life had ruined that like it ruined everything else. You had spent the last couple of months in a ghost-like existence. You attended to their wounds when somebody came knocking on your office door, you pretended to care about club business when your brother called meetings and asked for you to go, you drank with the boys when Danny requested and sometimes you even smiled at them as they tried to cheer you up. Danny would wrap an arm around you and kiss your cheek then point to a member who was around your age and say you could be his old lady, sis, he’s a good guy. Better than your outsider, right? You’d nod then walk away into your office to escape it. Over time, you fooled them into thinking you were okay but on the inside, you felt empty. You craved for something to fill the space, anything to stop the throb that hurt so badly. So eventually you gave up leaving when Danny pointed out a guy, you’d sit with him and make him think you were interested. You’d let him kiss your neck and say clumsy, drunken words in your ear just so you could imagine it was Ash. You took your time teasing them into thinking they had a chance until Danny would intervene and tell them to back off. You’d laugh and move away as the guy usually called you a whore or a flirt. The club had turned you into a car crash and you were going to show them the damage they had done.

Another set of lips kissed your neck tonight. It wasn’t unusual but tonight Danny wasn’t here to end things. Rough hands trailed up your legs as you tried to imagine you were with Ashton rather than some guy from the club. You opened your eyes when the lips pulled away which left your neck feeling cold and exposed. The room span a little from the cheap vodka shots you’d had but you never had enough to be out of it, just enough to numb the feelings you fought so hard to ignore. The guy, early twenties you guessed, was tugging your arm.

“You have an office, right?” he mumbled into your ear when you stood next to him. “Do you have a sexy nurse outfit?”

You nodded even though the latter wasn’t true and tried to look less bored by him. He wasn’t exactly interesting to be with or look at but he was better than being alone with your thoughts that wanted to drown you. You let him lead you from the bar and past the guys who were playing another game of poker. You saw Al who stood up and walked in front of you.

“Let her go, TJ,” Al warned. “She’s not your type.”

TJ, you now knew, laughed like it was a joke and pulled you closer to him.

“What do you mean, Al?”

“She’s the boss’ sister, idiot. If you fuck her, you’ll have a very painful future ahead of you. It’s not going to get you promoted, that’s one thing I can guarantee. You fuck around with her and the only thing that happens is your body will be found in a ditch somewhere in the countryside.”

TJ dropped your hand and backed off. “It’s not worth it, sorry darlin’.”

He walked away and joined the poker game like he’d never touched you. Al watched him then grabbed your elbow and steered you into your office. He roughly sat you down on your chair and folded his arms like an angry father would with his teenager.

“What the hell was that?”

You stayed silent. You stared at the stack of papers on your desk and tried to imagine you were somewhere else. Somewhere far away from here that wasn’t filled with men and their dirty deeds.

Al sighed as he knelt in front of you. He took your hands in his large rough ones. He sighed then looked into your eyes, blocking your view of the desk.

“Sweetheart, I know you’re hurting,” he said softly. “But you won’t find the solution to your problems in bed with somebody who doesn’t love you or at the bottom of a bottle because hell, I’ve tried both of those and felt worse on the other side. You can’t replace Ashton with some slime ball like TJ. You can close your eyes and grit your teeth as you try to imagine it’s him but you’ll never have the same feeling. One night stands won’t bring him back any more than cheap vodka will.”

You reluctantly looked at him and the tears prickled your eyes like pins. Your eyes stung as the tears cascaded down your cheeks.

“I miss him,” you sobbed.

Al stood up and pulled you into his arms. You rested your head against his chest. He patted your back soothingly, comforting you like you would a child. You remembered Al had daughters, you remembered seeing them a few times at the motorbike shows. One dated one of the newer recruits who died in a shootout, you wondered if Al had given her the same speech and cooed her when she cried. Maybe.

“It’ll be okay,” he crooned. “A broken heart heals, sweetheart. Give it time and lay off the booze most importantly. And the boys need to stop too. I know you’re a big girl now but I love you like one of my own and I don’t want you to end up dead because of a boy, okay?”

You nodded into his chest and closed your eyes. Here felt safe but it wasn’t home.

You tried to stop, you did. Al kept an eye on you for a week or so before allowing you some free reign. You kept your drinking away from the club and picked up guys from bars instead. You spent most nights wrapped up in some drunken stranger’s arms but you spent your days at the club. You kept your head down which brought a smile to Danny’s face as he mistook it for commitment. He would drop by your office when there was somebody in to watch you work. Sometimes, he’d ask you to show him how to treat the wounds. He even attempted to remove the glass from somebody’s palm. You smiled encouragingly, feeling like a proud mother might have. Was this what it had felt like for your own mother? Danny would kiss your temple and mutter thanks, sis as he left to work on the business side of the club. You knew he was trying to build bridges again after he ran Ashton out but you kept telling him he wasn’t the one who beat him into a bloody pulp.

A knock at your door made you look up, you turned down the music you had on and shouted for them to come in. Danny appeared with an armful of books. You frowned at him then read the front cover of the top book when he placed them down on the desk.

Nursing Weekly?” you read aloud then you picked through the pile. “University prospectuses? Danny, I think it’s a little late in your life to go to university. You haven’t got any qualifications to even get in.”

He laughed and tapped the top book, it was for the closest university. “They’re for you.”

“What?”

“I know since that boy left you, you haven’t been happy here. I think you need to take some time out from being here every day,” Danny said as he flicked through the pages. “I made some calls and there are spaces on the nursing course if you want to apply. I told the lady all about you and she seemed to think you sounded like somebody who would fit in on their course.”

“Danny, I—”

“I know you said medicine isn’t your passion, sis,” he said as he cut you off. “But just think about it. You could get a job at the hospital and still be close by so you wouldn’t have to walk away from the club. You’d be a qualified nurse, imagine how proud Ma would have been.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and forced a smile. You pulled the closest book to you and began to turn the pages without reading anything. You’d considered escaping to university a few times but every time it came back to the same thing: what would you study? Your own passions had been blotted out with medical knowledge until all you knew was how to fix people.

“Thanks,” you said as you looked up at your hopeful brother. “I’ll consider it.”

“Just don’t take too long,” Danny replied as he tapped his fingers against the desk. “I want you here, sis. You’re the only blood family I’ve got left if you take the kids out of it. You’re the only one who gets me. I want you to be happy here too, maybe going to mix with some other smart people will… I don’t know. But I need you here, you’re my baby sister and I need to look after you. Think about the university thing, will you? I reckon it’ll be the making of you.”

He nodded to himself and you watched him leave. Once the door had closed, you waited a moment then threw the book in your hand across the room and at the furthest wall. It landed with a thud on the floor, the pages were sprawled out messily. You held your head in your hands and took a deep breath. Danny was literally trying to control every aspect of your life. The boys you saw, the places you went, and now your future career after everything you’d said? No. This was the final straw.

You needed to escape. You couldn’t live this life anymore. When was it going to be your time to look after yourself rather than babysit Danny? How many more broken bodies were you going to have to try and put back together? How long did you have before some rival gang came and took you out for being Danny’s sister? No, you couldn’t handle the maybes or what ifs that your brother tried to pacify you with anymore. You needed out and you had to do it while you were feeling brave.

You opened your top desk drawer and grabbed your keys, phone and purse. There wasn’t anything from this place you wanted to take with you. With a satisfying slam of your office door, Danny poked his head out from the meeting room. He frowned at you then tugged on the edges of his leather jacket like he’d done as a child. Danny fiddled with things when he was unsure then would throw childish temper tantrums if it didn’t go his way.

“Where are you going? I thought you’d be here reading the stuff I got you all afternoon.”

You shook your head and waved your phone at him as you formulated a cover story in your mind. “I called in a few favours so I’m going to meet one of the nurses from the hospital, she said she’d talk me through the training and her job. If I’m lucky, she might let me follow her around like I’m sixteen and on work experience again.”

“If only,” Danny commented with a loving smile. “What time will you be back? The guys are out on a goods run so no doubt you’ll be needed after a bar fight or something.”

You shrugged and caught a look at the clock above the bar. “Maybe seven, it depends how much time she has and if I can shadow her. I’ll let you know.”

Danny nodded then kissed the top of your head as you walked by him. You closed your eyes, you hated lying to him but you needed a couple of hours. You needed to savour this because you weren’t going to have this again. If you ever saw Danny again, it’d probably be on the news for drug or weapons charges but never like this.

You turned to face him abruptly. “I love you, Dan. You know that, right?”

His forehead creased as he tried to work out what was wrong.

“Yeah, ‘course I do,” he said back. “What’s up? You’re not sick, are you?”

You shook your head with a small laugh. “No, I just wanted to remind you since I’ve been a nightmare recently.”

He chuckled as he ruffled your hair. “You just hit your rebellious years late. It’s understandable, sis. You lost Ma and Dad young, you were bound to derail at some point.”

You bit the inside of your cheek then tried to offer him a smile.

“I better go or she’ll think I’ve bailed on her,” you lied.

Danny ducked back into the meeting room and you hurried out to your bike. You needed to work things out, find a new place far away from here and create a new life. You pulled off in the direction of the hospital but drove by it and redirected yourself back towards your house. You dumped your bike in the garage and fumbled for your keys for the door. You ran upstairs quickly to grab a bag and stuff it with a few items of clothing, you could replace anything you left behind. You hadn’t been the sentimental type, you hadn’t got time for that.

You picked up a picture from the last Christmas you’d had before your parents were killed. You’d forced everybody to wear hideous Christmas jumpers at the club house. You were sandwiched between Walnut and Al who were both wearing jumpers with demonised snowmen on them. You smiled at the surrogate fathers and slipped the photo out of the frame so you could slide it into your back pocket. You made a mental note to call them when you were settled somewhere new, they wouldn’t tell Danny. They found it hard to trust him at the best of times.

You realised you couldn’t say goodbye to anybody or see these people again, you wouldn’t help Daniel learn to write his own name or see Soph take her first steps. They were going to be trapped in the club life and you wouldn’t be here to help them get out. You sighed as you realised you couldn’t wait another two decades to help get them out. If you were leaving, you were doing it today before the courage you’d gathered evaporated.

After you took one last look around your parents’ old house, you headed out through the back door and locked it. You slid the key under the pot by the back door and headed out to the beat up truck your dad had left you in his will. You sat in it, your bag in the backseat and stroked the worn leather seats. You’d avoided driving it because you were worried it’d lose the feel of your father, always picking your bike over the truck but you needed to go long distance. You sat back and grabbed the old map from the glove compartment. The map was years old but when you were sixteen, you would draw routes of escape across it after your parents were gone. You picked the most logical and decided to go with it. You traced the route with your finger, memorising the roads and turnings like they were sacred.

You pulled out of the drive and felt the reluctance of the engine. You knew the car wouldn’t go as far as you needed it to but you didn’t want to admit that you would need to change it. The roads were fairly quiet. You drove by the alley were Walnut had been shot and thought back to the boy with the smile and the curly hair. The unfinished business you had with him had been okay while you had another set of arms around you and your mind was hazy with drink. But now as you were heading away from it sober, you needed to solve it. You needed him to forgive you before you could walk away from your hometown. You swerved into his street and dumped the truck outside. The footsteps it took to get to his front door felt like a lifetime. Your heart pounded in your chest as you knocked on his door. Part of you hoped he’d answer but the rest of you was screaming for you to leave.

The door opened and a girl frowned at you. You felt like you’d been punched in the stomach. She was pretty and looked a lot like you. Maybe if you got enough sleep and you kept up with the latest fashion, you would be almost identical to her. Was this how Ashton had coped? While you’d been finding strangers’ lips on your own, he’d been finding a girl who was your double to fill the gap you’d left?

“Can I help you?” she asked after you’d been silent for a little too long.

“Is Ashton home?”

Your shaky voice sounded unfamiliar to you as the girl shouted Ashton then smiled at you. Ashton kissed her cheek as he appeared around the door with a smile on his lips which fell when he saw you.

You stared at him coldly. “I came to say bye but I can see you’re busy.”

You began to walk back down the path. You had no right to be annoyed, you knew that. He had every right to move on but to a girl who could practically pass as your twin? That pushed you over the edge. You felt him grab your wrist.

“Don’t go,” he said softly.

You tried to forget the times he’d said that during those six months together. The late nights when you’d moved to go home and he’d tell you not to, the early hours of the mornings when he’d nuzzle your neck and whisper it, the lazy mornings when he would grab your waist after breakfast and mutter it into your ear. You tried so hard to get rid of them as you turned back to him and willed the lump in your throat to disappear.

He was giving you the oh-so-familiar look of pity you’d hated after your mother had died. You bit your tongue and looked over at the girl. She looked uncomfortable and pointed out of the door.

“I’ll come back later,” she said then gave you one final glance before walking to her car which was parked across the street.

You snatched your wrist back. “She didn’t have to leave.”

“Come in, please?” he begged as he stepped back inside the hour.

You bit your lip and walked inside, you let yourself into lounge. You didn’t sit down, you didn’t want to help the memories flood back any more than they had done. He followed you in and studied you for a minute.

He watched the girl’s car disappear through the window.

“So while I was cut up about us, you were off finding my replacement? Let me guess, she isn’t from a gang so she’s the kind of girl you can take home to your mother, right?” you spat angrily.

“It wasn’t like that,” he said calmly.

You rolled your eyes. “It never is. Just tell me she makes you happy? I want you to be happy but the lookalike thing is a bit much, Ash.”

“Why did you come to say bye?”

“I’m going,” you stated, you folded your arms over your stomach. “I’m done with Danny telling me how to live my life.”

“Seriously?”

Ashton turned back to you sharply, his face was filled with concern.

“I was going but then I needed to see you were okay,” you said quietly then you swallowed hard. “I needed to see that I hadn’t wrecked your life as badly as I thought.”

He stepped closer to you but you held your hands up to force him to keep his distance. Your resolve was already crumbling without feeling him touch you again. You needed to bury your feelings not revive them.

“I want to say I’m sorry for getting you hurt,” you continued, “I never thought you’d get caught up in it.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t arrange it.”

He stroked a piece of hair behind your ear which made you flinch away from his hand. You didn’t need his kindness reopening old wounds.

“I’m glad you’re getting away from Danny though. He isn’t good for you. He’s dangerous.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” you protested, even though you realised that didn’t forgive his controlling streak.

Ashton laughed humourlessly then walked by you to the other end of the lounge.

“He wouldn’t hurt you? No. He just goes after the people that he sees as threats,” Ashton said bitterly.

You frowned and walked over to him. “What do you mean by that?”

He looked up at you with a shadow of a smile. “I never wanted to tell you but you need to hear it. The day I got attacked, it was Danny’s guys not the rival gang. He told me to end our relationship or he’d make sure you didn’t have a family anymore. He said he’d cut you off and make sure you had nowhere to go. I know how much he means to you so I kept quiet.”

Your heart dropped as you realised it made sense. Danny had warned you off of Ashton and he blamed him for putting thoughts of leaving in your head. You’d always known about Danny’s short fuse but you never thought he would do this to you. He had forced Ashton away, the only boy who loved you with your ugly past, all because he was insecure about you leaving him. Oh, God, it made so much more sense. The introductions to the new club members, all because it made controlling your life so much easier if you were with one of them. If you were somebody’s old lady, Danny could trickle orders about you and the guy would blindly follow him. He’d have a reach over you for the rest of your life, Danny’s puppet who danced to any song he wanted. Ash gave you hope you could escape and Danny had to vanquish that before the embers of hope raged into a fire he couldn’t contain.

“Shit,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry. I never – I never thought he would do that to me.”

“I’m okay,” he stated. “I don’t run so early anymore but I’m lucky I got away with just paranoia.”

You raked a hand through your hair. “I’ve been such fucking idiot. I should have known it was him, the Knights hit out at us a couple of nights after. I should’ve realised they wouldn’t strike twice.”

“You can’t beat yourself up over it,” Ashton said softly. “Danny is your brother, you’ll always try to see the best in him.”

“Well those days are over,” you spat then sighed. “I need to go, I can’t stay here.”

Ashton reached out for you but you stepped back. “Stay until you’re calmer, I’ll get you something to drink.”

“No, because the longer I stay, the more I wonder how you’ve managed to move on when I’m still stuck in love with you.”

Ashton opened his mouth to say something, anything to make things better when the door opened. You expected it to be your long lost twin but instead, you wished it had been.

“Well, isn’t this cosy?”

You stared at your brother and noticed the handgun resting on his hip. He had a wild look in his eyes which made your stomach turn. You felt sick. You stepped in front of Ashton and came between them.

“Danny, what are you doing here?” you asked.

“Sonny followed you from the club. You underestimate me, sis. I knew something was up so when he said you’d taken the truck and headed here, I knew you were trying to leave.”

You tipped your head back and sighed. You’d always known Danny had guys tailing you but you’d been stupid enough to believe he was beginning to loosen the reigns on you a little.

“You can’t leave me,” he stated as his eyes flicked between the two of you. “You can’t take my sister away from me.”

“I’m not trying to,” Ash said. “But right now, she’s just getting more and more reasons to leave.”

Danny’s eyes switched focus to Ashton and he pulled the gun from his waistband. He pointed it at Ashton and the sick, panicky feeling began to seep into your stomach. It wasn’t the first time you’d stared down the barrel of a gun but for the first time, you cared about who was on the end of it.

You held out your hands to him slowly. “Danny, he’s not. I did this alone, okay? Ashton isn’t going anywhere, I am.”

“It’s his fault,” Danny muttered. “You were happy until he told you he loved you.”

“But he doesn’t love me anymore, he’s moved on. It’s me that’s stuck in the past.” The words burned as you spoke them but you had to admit it to yourself. “Put the gun down and we can talk about this.”

Danny shook his head and kept the gun trained on Ashton though you were certain you were blocking most of the shot.

“It’s too late for that, if I stop, you’ll leave and he’s won. You can’t go, sis. I need you here.”

“But she doesn’t need you,” Ashton shouted at him before he pushed you out of the way.

He dived to wrestle Danny for the gun. You regained your feet and watched the scene unfold in almost slow motion. The struggle was messy, elbows flying into faces and shuffling all over the room. The shouts echoed in Ashton’s living room, claims of who you belonged with or belonged to or where you belonged.

But you heard the shot before you felt it.

The sound stopped both of them in their tracks.

You felt yourself falling backwards, falling into a never-ending world of black.

Me watching Magic Mike XXL with a friend:

Me: Why is he dancing so aggressively around his garage like that? There are sharp implements, he could impale himself. 

Me: Okay, he’s just flinging around this girl in an un-choreographed dance routine, and she’s totally fine with it? 

Me: Hey, it’s Donald Glover! 

Me: Noooo! Don’t let the glitter go free! Okay, they just ruined that entire room. Forever. 

Friend: Oooh, did it just get hot in here, or is it just me? 

Me: Are…are they just going to leave that lady in the swing? I’d be super uncomfortable with that. 

Me: Yeah, um it’s totally not safe for them to be dancing on that floor with all those loose dollar bills flying around. Someone’s going slip and fall. 

Me: *Matt Bomer sings* Well, well! Somebody’s got a musical theatre background!

Friend: The first movie had a lot more dancing and a lot less dry humping, but at least there was something hot to look at, right? 

Me: *is asexual* Um….I kept getting distracted by all the safety issues. 

Friend: You’re such a stage manager!

Me: Yep. That’s what I am.