and then my life was forever ruined

So tonight I went out with some college buddies to a corn maze and when we were trying to find our way through it it was completely dark and dead silent and then someone made that throaty noise from The Grudge and I freaking lost my shit so bad, like I actually thought I was gonna die lol

one time i stole a joke from the previous night’s episode of the backyardigans in third grade and some other kid fucking caught me and he was all “oh so you still watch the backyardigans huh.” it ruined my life and but the thing is how the fuck did he know without also having seen the previous episode of the backyardigans? i will forever regret not calling him out on his hypocrisy and i hope that kid is in jail now

musicals as vine quotes cause why not

Phantom Of The Opera: “Hey, guys. Hit that like button if you think being haunted is. Kinda hot.”

Wicked: “And they were roommates!” “Oh my god they were roommates.”

Dear Evan Hansen: “He’s dead…” “… Oh ‘not the dickhead’ what do you want me to say?”

The Book Of Mormon: “WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY WE’RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS.” “KUMBAYAAAAAAAAAAAA MA LOOOOOOOO-”

Spring Awakening: “Hey, ma, what’s good? How old are you?” “Fifteen.” [UNINTELLIGABLE YELLING NOISES]

Heathers:  “SAW YOU HANGIN OUT WITH CAITLIN YESTERDAY-” “R-REBECCA, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU TH-” “I WONT HESITATE BITCH.”

Be More Chill: “Hey bro what do you wanna eat?” “ T̠̤̭̘̬̀h͖͉e̴͉̼ ̬̙͡s͍̦̖̘̥̮͙o̳̕ụ̪ḻ̣͞s͓͖̬ ͚̬o͍̮͉f̜̫̼̲̭ ͖̕t̲̱̮̣͎͍͈h̝͇̮̦̥͜e͙̺̝ ͈̼in̶̗̪̪̪̝n̗̮̭̣̺͈o͙̻̟̜͙̞c͎̻e̹̤̭̟n̘͞t” “A bagel.” “ N̟̦̬̭͖͍̗O͓̼͟!̣͢ “

American Idiot: “Don’t let anybody else ruin your life. Because it’s your life. You should ruin it.”

Les Misérables: “Hey ~  How ya doin? Well, I’m doin just fine. I lied. I’m dying inside.”

Rent: The “Completely Giving Up” vine that has all the characters named Me

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:  “My god, they’ve been in there forever.” “Eh, they probably just-” “WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE THE SAME PERSON” “HOLY SHIT” “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN” “STOP YELLING AT ME”

Waitress: “Why did you seat that couple before us?” “It’s a table for two.” “Yeah?” “You have ten people.” “Yeah?” [”We Like To Party” by Vengaboys plays]

Chicago: Could ya stop playin that damn music?” “Don’t talk shit on my music!” [GUNSHOT] ♪ say you’ll remember me ♪

To my first love,
I don’t think you will even recognize that these words are for you. I knew you didn’t think you were beautiful, or even relatively attractive, but I would have loved to spend the rest of my life convincing you of your perfection. Your flaws were what defined you. Your strength in the face of all your adversities, all the abuse you endured, inspired me. Your beauty was unconventional and every day I have gone without it, without you, tore my soul apart. Years have passed and we’re both adults now. The façade of childhood has left me. I no longer believe in the things I once fought for. I no longer recognize who I was with you. I doubt I ever cross your mind. Truth be told, you rarely cross mine. But, you still do. You continue to have this hold over me, a hold that forces me to compare all my lovers—past, present, and future—to you. Why? Our love was imperfect, abusive, tarnished. We held each other’s hearts in our hands and repeatedly poked and prodded and exploited the weaknesses we found until one of us cried for mercy. We reduced the other to tears on more occasions than I care to revisit. I wished you nothing but happiness when you left me. You wished for me to feel every suffering this world had to offer. You wished for me to feel as dirty, broken, alone, betrayed, as you felt when our truths were revealed. I was fucked up, you’re right, but you were as well. You are not without blame here. We were both too damaged to ever be good for each other. Your wish came true and for years, I have lived with a searing pit in my stomach. As I sit here and write these words to you, I realize that you are the reason I am like this. You are the reason I am the way I am. You are to blame for my cold, unfeeling ways. I may have loaded the gun, I may have pressed it into your hands, and I may have aimed it at my heart, but you are the one who pulled the trigger. I wrote this to put you out of my mind forever. I wrote this for the closure you never granted me; the closure I used to repeatedly seek through apologies and professions of guilt while you turned your back on me, admonishing me with threats if I did not disappear from your life. I wrote this because it’s been over four years since we met and two since you left and I still cannot get my thoughts off you. You ruined me, we ruined each other, but you recovered quicker. I am leaving you on this page. I am leaving the memories, the sleepless nights, the love, and the abuse here, in hopes of finally being free.
Regrettably yours,
A.H.
—  the-hasslehaas, It’s been a year since I wrote this and the freedom has come.
let's talk beautiful lyrics by yoongi

“amidst double standards and opposition everywhere I crushed the limits within myself” (we are bulletproof pt. 2)

“my hobby is proving you wrong” (we on)

“if i ruled the world why would i dream small, of gambling and investing in stocks? i would still be making music with my bangtan fam” (if i ruled the world)

“same day, same moon” (tomorrow)

“the studio is my playground, and the pen and paper are my partners” (triptych)

“a sweet wind named you is blowing in my heart” (miss right)

“others are running forward, yet why am i still here?” (intro: hyyh)

“take a breath, or breathe a dream” (intro: hyyh)

“this moment will never come again, it will never find me again, so i ask myself am i happy? yes, the answer is already there, i am happy.” (intro: hyyh)

“before the day of my birth inside of my mother’s womb, i counted the days till my first move. the cost of the move was a machine on her heart and a scar.” (move….. /fuh my heart)

“on the stage i desired so much, when i sing and dance, i feel that i am yet alive. i can withstand a long commute and the aching of my body because my people are watching me. i endure the exhaustion because the cheers come rolling in.” (born singer)

“i don’t give a shit, i don’t give a fuck” (intro: nvm)

“i have become the pride of my family, and have even succeeded to an extent.” (intro: nvm)

“though i taste failure and disappointment and bow my head, we’re still young and immature don’t even sweat it” (intro: nvm)

“if you can’t go back, run forward…
if you feel you’ll crash, accelerate all the more” (intro: nvm)

“you’re a butterfly effect, shining in pitch darkness. with your light touches i forget reality altogether” (butterfly)

“the words so carelessly thrown at me: even my loneliness looks like pretend to you.” (whalien 52)

“have i engraved my existence into you like rain? or have i come and gone like short showers?” (rain)

“the saying must be true that love blooms like cherry blossoms and then burns to ashes” (let me know)

“hip hop found me like a young child finds his mother” (hip hop lover)

“everyone asks me, what is hip hop, and i say proudly that it is my everything. as a result i have buried my entire existence under music. if loving this culture is a sin i’ll die a hundred times
over.” (hip hop lover)

“dream. hope. forward. forward” (epilogue: young forever)

inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Okay…?”

Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

Keep reading

Never underestimate the enmity of those for whom outrage is a sport.

-

tried a more simplistic approach / different style(?) to how i usually draw but this took forever to finish cause life haha ;-; *falls over and disintegrates into the ground*
this was supposed to be a facial study of sonam kapoor for school omg this game has ruined my life

dear evan hansen songs ft. alternate titles
  • anybody have a map?: okay google, how do i parent
  • waving through a window: maybe you should step out of the sun so you don't fucking die evan
  • for forever: no homo
  • sincerely, me: no homo (reprise)
  • requiem: no one mourns the wicked (sorry elphaba)
  • if i could tell her: okay google, how do i make a girl like me by only using lies about her dead brother
  • disappear: evan makes the big decision
  • you will be found: evan follows through with the big decision
  • to break in a glove: [insert the "god i wish that were me" meme here]
  • only us: okay google, how do i make a girl like me without making up lies about her dead brother
  • good for you: congratulations, you played yourself
  • words fail: evan regrets the big decision
  • so big / so small: i don't even have a joke for this one just insert a pic of someone gross sobbing or smthn here
  • for forever (reprise): well my life has been ruined