and then make me feel awful for you

paladinquen  asked:

Remembering what you said before about how as an author it amused you (paraphrasing) that most of us starting off hating Viktor, then turning into 'no! protect Viktor!', makes me wonder about how you feel about our comments now over Viktor and whether or not they should even be together. Absolutely wonderful (heart stabbing) chapter :___o

I’ll admit, the reaction to this chapter was not entirely what I was expecting. Not in a bad way at all! But I’ve pretty much spent chapters 10-12 dealing with people being horrible to Yuuri, saying he’s overreacting or stupid or awful to Viktor and that Viktor needs to be protected (which he does but so does Yuuri). So when I was writing this chapter I was 100% ready to fight anyone who said Yuuri was in the wrong here and that he shouldn’t have walked away or that he overreacted or anything like that because what happened to him in chapter 13 was really really awful and I will defend his decision to get some space and time to clear his head to the death. So I was so caught up in preparing to deal with Yuuri haters (of which there have been a few but definitely in the minority) that it completely blindsided me to all the Viktor hate that suddenly happened. Which is really interesting as a writer to read and obviously I’m writing these two as flawed characters so getting emotional reactions from people is a good thing but now I’m getting protective over Viktor again and will probably finally break my ‘I’m not telling any of you what Viktor is thinking rule’ to explain why he did what he did because he is hurting too!

Ok so this is my venting post, I hope it doesn’t ends up being too long!

So… today was awful. I barely had any sleep last night, i was doing a hw that I didn’t even finished, the teacher didn’t even checked it herself, that was strike two.

I think the thing that really did this day so awful was my Physics class, you see… we have this teacher that, even tho he’ pretty cool and an amazing teacher, he can be… cluelessly cruel.

For example, he always tells me to look at him in the eyes while talking, and not to force them while doing so, for me,
is impossible, i feel eye contact pretty scary unless its someone like my best friend.

Today he got the great idea to make me go to the board in front of everyone and solve an excersice, an exercise about a topic i don’t know, with no notebook… My classmates started laughing at me, and they mocked me between their breath, never taking their eyes of me….

I got terrified, I had to scratch my arm to calm myself a little and avoid crying and getting an anxiety attack in front of everyone, of course they noticed, I scratched so hard my arm was red and I actually bleed a little….

After like 15 minutes of torture the teacher finally let me sit down, and I was trying so hard to not freak out and cry..

If i cried in front of them they would mock at me more…

I couldn’t explain my friends what was going on, they wouldn’t get it at best and they whole mock at me at worst…

My arm still hurts…

anonymous asked:

My crush lives in new zealand and i live in the US but we memorized each others' timezones and every night when we go to bed he sends me a goodnight message telling me he loves me, and he always calls me bab when he sends these messages and im just? So gay? And his voice is just so soothing to me and his eyes are so beautiful and just everything about him makes me feel so warm and happy and I'd give everything in the world to be able to hold his hand someday 💕

Aw wow bless you babe 😘 that is some tough distance but it sounds like you’re doing pretty well with it, good for you! 💗

huffletough  asked:

I love all the things you do, but I honestly cannot stress enough just how much I'm adoring TPATJ. The rhyming story is so beautiful and thought out and the art is just beautiful(as always). I love the way you capture movement so well it always amazes me. And I've always loved your AUs for Mesi and Arthur, they're such uniques characters and I just have a lot of feelings about this comic- OK IM DONE. Sorry I just had to get all that out now 🙌🏽

aw man, thank you so much, I’ll try hard to keep improving and get that story finished! I’m going to be away for three days from tomorrow but I’m hoping I can get back on top of TPatJ when I get back- next update should be like, 3-4 pages so hopefully that’ll make up for it. It means a lot that there are folks like you out there cheering me on!

anonymous asked:

ya know what ever since I learned your studying genetics I can't help but feel when you hit on people it's with the same exact kitchy/niche pick up lines Charles xavier used in x-men first class, and regardless of how you actually hit on people, I'm going to continue believing that's what you do because it makes me indescribably happy

if i were an enzyme, id be dna helicase so i could unzip your genes
i wish i were adenine, so i could be paired up with U ;)))

nmglaceon  asked:

Tevil, i'm sorry i had to go, but i promise we all care about you, and just because we talk while you're asleep doesn't mean we care about you any less. I went to sleep and woke up to over 500 messages just today! I promise, your feelings are valid, and i'm sorry we hurt them, but we really do care about you, and want you back in the chat, if you're willing to come back. And before you try to claim you're just making me feel bad or anything like that, you aren't, believe me.

i

i

i

im awful and ruin everyhting

3

anyway i was feeling down so i did myself a good and doodled my favorite interplanetary master criminal and frumpy martian private investigator because i had to figure out? what they looked like? and i love to produce the Content

some highlights include 1) riz ahmed inspired juno  2) nureyev’s hair constantly approaching ponytail length but never quite reaching it  and 3) a bad, awful, terrible fanny pack, perfect for daring heists with tight catsuits

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips on escaping financially abusive situations? My parents make me feel so awful for not spending time at home and will buy things without asking to coerce me into staying and then use that gift as a bargaining chip. I feel awful and idk what to do.

We do not have a lot of information on financial abuse, no, and unfortunately while I know about recognizing it, I’m not very sure about getting out from under it.

Here’s a few resources about parental financial abuse that could be helpful, though:

There is one thing to remember that just because your parents buy you things, doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive nor that you’re obligated to be with them or to love them. You have nothing to feel awful about - material goods are not proof of good will, material goods do not make up for abuse, and material goods do not disprove abuse. This is a common form of gaslighting that especially parents like to use. 

You are NOT a bad person for disliking them and wanting to be away from them, their gift-giving makes NO effect on how they treat you.

If anyone has more advice for anon, we’d appreciate it!

- mod BP

anonymous asked:

I have terrible anxiety to the point I had to be homeschooled for a semester because leaving the house was too hard for me. Now I'm in real high school (I'm a freshman) and I have no friends nor do I know how to make any because I feel like every time I open my mouth chunks will spew instead of words. WHAT DO I DO!

Aw i’m sorry about this! My advice would be to join a few extracurriculars or a lot to find one that you like and has people you click with. That is one of the best ways to make friends in high school. And you have mutual things to talk about too. Just make dumb small talk with people in class or in clubs and be yourself. Not everyone is going to be your friend but if you talk to a few people, you will make some 

Good luck, you are wonderful <3

anonymous asked:

I regret not going through your blog before because holy fricky frack your writing is so amazing like wow you is talented so very talented and like even your little lovely posts and your fics!!! and everything honestly is so perfect and adorable your writing is out of the world top notch and I am always in awe and in love and especially right now when I should really be studying but I still feel like reading going through your posts and canons make me very happy and just very happy thank you xx

Oh my gosh you lovely person you! Gah that is sooooo sweet. Omg. You’ve seriously made my day! 💖

You killed me a little bit again today.

I know I have no right to be sad over this but still… You went out on a date.

You made sure to post pictures of it, several ones.

You took her to the same place you took me, you shared the same meal. You probably even swapped dishes with her, didn’t you? Must be your signature move or something, makes the other person feels like they have a great taste when ordering food and you have so much alike.

I’m crying again, of course I am.

But what else is new?

Every day you just find a new way to break me, to hurt me, to leave another lifelong scar that is burned into my soul and cracks my heart again.

I wish I could hate you.

I wish I could let you go.

Lordy I feel like such a bad pet owner, another rehoming post.
So. Rats. They’re absolutely wonderful pets. But once you get them you’re kind of stuck in a never-ending chain of them due to the fact you shouldn’t keep them alone. Thats something I knew and was ok with. But unfortunately my life situation has changed, and the hyper aggressiveness of Birdie and all of the awful deaths from a couple years ago now have left me feeling like it’s time to end my rat keeping days. It’s causing me more sadness than joy and making it hard to me to continue providing ideal care to the babes.
Birdie and Poppy are very much on their way out, but Rhubarb is still super healthy and happy, and I imagine she has at least a year left with the way she’s been going. I really love her, and I’m not willing to keep her alone for a year since she’s not a people bonder for the most part, but I’m also not really in the mental place to get another crapshoot rat as a companion for her, and my area is a rat desert and I haven’t found any friendly old boys I could take in.
As such. I am looking into rehoming Rhubarb. She’s a sweet shy hairless girl, who has been spayed. this means you can keep her with boys, and she’s less likely to develop typical female rat health problems like mammary tumors. She’s been impressively healthy for a rat, especially for a hairless, though like all American rats she has a history of respiratory issues. Over the past year though she hasn’t had so much as a single flare up. She’s a really great rat, and while she is shy with people she’s only once bitten (while going under anesthesia for her spay) and would be a fantastic rat for someone looking for a healthy and inquisitive companion.
If you’re willing and able to take her and provide her with a good home and rattie companionship, I will give you all of my rat supplies as thanks. These supplies include toys, fleece, water bottles, any food I may have left, a pet carrier, and a double unit critter nation.
I live in western Colorado, but would be willing to drive a few hours for the right home. If you think you might be this home please pm me, otherwise I would really appreciate a signal boost. I really love Rhubarb, but it’s honestly time for me to take a break from rats, so I think this is the best option.
But! If you know of a friendly older male rat looking for a home and think we can manage to get him to me, then rehoming Rhubarb won’t be necessary anymore. So I’d appreciate any pms in that respect as well.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.