and then i'm too perfectionist

Darkness is Near

Something’s coming. Something big.

A mix that’s more eerie than frightening as we anxiously wait for the oncoming storm.

Tracklist: 1. We Move Lightly - Dustin O’Halloran  // 2. The Curse - Agnes Obel // 3. Psylla - Glass Animals // 4. Dark Doo Wop - MS MR // 5. 1940 (AmpLive Remix) - The Submarines // 6. What the Water Gave Me - Florence + The Machine // 7. La Llorna - Amy Ayanda & Thor Rixon // 8. Black Mambo - Glass Animals // 9. Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko // 10. Shut Eye - Stealing Sheep // 11. Seven Devils - Florence + The Machine // 12. Bloody Shirt (Bastille Remix) - To Kill A King

[listen]

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sterek meme: sterek au: pride & prejudice (1/10)

You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before.

If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever.

If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I- 
I lo-

I love you.

I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Colouring tutorial

So, I was asked to show how I colour my gifs and thought I’d put together a little tutorial.

I will be going from this:

to this:

I’m using Photoshop CS6 Extended and will be using the timeline animation to make my gif. But if you use the frame animation that works just as well. Just make sure you’re standing on the first frame when you add the layers.

I put the full tutorial under a read more because it got a bit lengthy. I hope you like it! (p.s. this colouring works on a lot of different shows and movies)

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Today's shadow work topic is: perfectionism and how that fucks you up

My fellow perfectionists, lend me your ears

I have some thing I learned recently that is very fucking helpful and explained a thing to me

What is your exact thought process when you start a thing? I don’t care what the thing is, whether it’s a new exercise regimen or a job or a new relationship

If your thought process is “I need to succeed at this thing” you are automatically approaching the thing the wrong way, because imposing arbitrary standards on yourself with ideas like succeeding at things that don’t have metrics for that divorces you emotionally and mentally from the thing

Basically, what I’m saying is the soul really likes to shrivel up and die in conditions in which your goal is “success”. You might be happy when you perceive yourself doing “well” at the thing, only to experience the crash later if you get fired or the relationship ends or something else and the problem with this is in some degree you probably placed some of your self worth on a thing can can end or be taken from you

The healthier thing to do is embark on a thing, like a new job or a move or a relationship and tell yourself “I’m just going to try this new thing, and if it doesn’t work out, it will be a learning experience and I will have some new memories to look over”

If you approach a new experience as a playful thing, and not this hyper serious obsessive desire to succeed at the thing, the soul gets a chance to be engaged and you begin to live the experience for the sake of the experience, and not for the ideal of succeeding or being respected or some kind of external validation that becomes, later, a dependency issue that rears its ugly head when you get fired or broken up with or fall on hard health times

Basically, if you approach things in your life as opportunities for growth instead of a constant barrage of tests that if you do well enough on, out will come your happiness tokens, you will generally accidentally fall into happiness before you even notice, and start living for the sake of it and appreciating the people in your life more for who they are rather than what they can do

I don’t think I’m a perfectionist because if you try for perfection, it’s too much pressure. But I’m probably a nightmare to work for … I tend to tell people something once and then I expect that it will be done correctly from that moment on. But I can’t help it — I see things other people don’t and I know how to fix it, how to make it look better. I don’t know how I know that, I just do.
—  Lisa Vanderpump

I’m a perfectionist. I strive to be perfect. I feel like everything I do has to be perfect. I have to have control. I have to. And when I lose that control it destroys me. And I try too hard to be perfect and I run out of time. And I feel myself losing my grip.

Reminder: Take nothing too seriously. Don’t think that everything’s throughout settled by only one time. Do only what you yourself feel like doing, nothing else. And even if you don’t know what you ”feel like” doing, don’t stress about it. Just do something. Whatever it may be.

Yesterday was so so lovely and fun but today was pretty crap. I’m way more anxious about this report than I care to admit, partly because it’s scary to admit that I have no idea if I can do this assignment properly and I was never ever the person care about assignments and grades. It was way easier to not care and just accept whatever grade I got, because even if I got lousy grades I could tell myself it was because I didn’t try hard enough. Yeah fear of failure. Pretty much my problem since forever. It’s really difficult to push myself to keep trying instead of giving up and taking the easy way out. I’ve always brushed it off as laziness/procrastination but when it comes to things like this, it runs deeper than just that. & to be completely honest I want to do well, like A kind of well but wtf is this lecturer why did you have to do this to me lol and why didn’t I pay more attention in tutorial. ”Just do it now so you can relax later” is something I’ve heard over and over but it’s not that simple. I’m trying.

I’m trying.