and then i thought it looks different without context

Man, I think part of the reason it took me so long to realize I’m a lesbian is because romance stories SO OFTEN look EXACTLY like my past relationships with men. Like, literally indistinguishable, to the point where I can watch those straight romcoms now and very easily interpret the main characters as lesbians dealing with the overwhelming pressures of compulsory heterosexuality.

Like, first she is annoyed by the guy, okay? She has zero interest, she finds him tedious and sees no reason she should be interested in him, or she sees him purely as a friend and does not expect any kind of romance. Holy hell could I relate to that!

And then they’re forced together by some circumstance – his persistent interest or their jobs or being literally stranded or whatever – and it’s incredibly awkward but they eventually find a way to coexist together and she even discovers positive aspects of his personality. He’s not such a bad guy, he’s alright. And that happened in a lot of my relationships with men, too. I learnt to tolerate them and even appreciate their good qualities.

And then often without any kind of active choice on her part suddenly they’re in a context where he wants more from her.

And here’s where my interpretations of those scenes differed from what the writers intend. See, I thought the hesitations of those in-love heterosexual women were the same as my own total lack of interest and how I had to work myself up to perform romantic love – or sexual interest – for someone I wasn’t actually, it turns out, attracted to.

Because it looks, from the outside, exactly like the chain of events in my own relationships with men. When it seemed like I’d gone too far to gracefully extricate myself the right thing was to just… try my very hardest to be in love, to try to love the guy as wholeheartedly as all people need to be loved, or do my best to at least play the part.

And I thought that was what real romance was, I thought those were the usual internal workings of a woman deeply in love, to decide to try to love someone purely because she’d reached a point where he wanted more and she’d gone this far and how could she not? Especially if he’d made some big romantic gesture, or needed saving, or was less annoying than initially presumed.

“Love as a choice” made sense to me then in a way it was never intended to mean. I thought I was choosing to be in love with these guys. When straight women chose to stay, I saw them choosing to be in love. In the back of my mind I always knew I could flip my “feelings” off like a switch, but I chose to stay and perform love, and really I think I thought that was normal.

It looks so similar from the outside.

It took falling in love with women and realizing how different my feelings are for women to notice that, wait a second, was that love? Or did I just feel like I’d reached some kind of point of no return and had to see the relationship through because that’s what you’re supposed to do?

@elizabethrobertajones​ commented:

Aah this post is long and off-topic-y so I’ll just comment quickly this way - I think we all know Sam has an endless well of goodness in him and cares for others a lot and he has SOME empathy, just maybe that sympathy is a stronger force for him, also a positive caring emotion, and situationally, when he’s frustrated or angry & in a dark place he overlooks how others feel because he has a greater good that will help in mind…   

Dean sometimes seems to have supernatural or almost unbelievable empathy, like the 5x16 scene with mary as a 4 year old talking to her like that (writing issues? idk) and again to balance the characters, if Dean’s the one with OTT empathy, then Sam might see things a different way and be sympathetic but not off the charts empathy… Though Dean sees him that way like in Tall Tales :P  

 I never thought of this as a negative trait - the long explanatory meta I read used it exactly as the point of balancing them and showing their different strengths, but I guess without reading that 1 long meta and knowing that, it looks worse out of context, especially yelling the phrase at random examples :P

(And from Dean-centric blogs or at least Destiel ones where Sam doesn’t seem to be the focus… Okay I’ll stop replying now >.>)         

(God, tumblr, why you gotta suck so bad? I cleaved this off, because the other post was getting so unmanageable long- and also, you’re right that discussing the example specifically is kind of off-topic, although I now think I accidentally hijacked the post some with it, so apologies about that)       

I do think you’re probably right that the phrase without lengthy context can be off-putting, but mostly I feel like it’s just shorthand for a way of looking at a big chunk of meta theory without having to re-explain it every time (which is how I was using it too).   

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The Maiden And The Giant

TITLE: The Maiden And The Giant

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 18

AUTHOR: MaliceManaged

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine falling through a portal into Jötunheim and running into a stranger named Loki, who decides to provide shelter out of the need for company, that eventually turns into love.

RATING: T

NOTES/WARNINGS: Every time I think I know what I’m doing; Plot just smirks at me…

___________________

    It was a bit odd for Kat, travelling via the Bifrost again, though this time at least Frigga had cast a spell to protect her eyes from the brightness. The cold of Jötunheim was bracing to say the least, and she was more than a little grateful to Helblindi for having found and sent her enchanted medID necklace shortly after Loki’s appointment as ambassador. Speaking of whom; he was waiting for her on the platform that had been built to receive the Bifrost’s travellers, his expression brightening upon seeing her despite the circumstances that brought her. Kat grinned widely and made her way over to him quickly.

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anonymous asked:

Kelly Mathieson's star princess, seems to be strapless, compared to the usual nude coloured straps all the other West End dresses have had before. Is that a normal thing for a Victorian woman to wear? Have there been cases in the replica production for the star princess to be strapless? It does look quite dreamy though, much better than the previous principal's "Celine Schoenmaker" star princess dress.

It feels like bodice straps is a feature that comes or goes on Kelly Mathieson’s bodice? In some photos it has straps, in others it does not. 

EPK look, without straps, and with the puffed sleeves hanging very low due to the lack of a supporting shoulder strap to attach them to. 


Backstage, without any straps. 


Backstage look, with straps from both bra/singlet and bodice. The latter appears to have falled down, making the puffed sleeves hang a bit too low here as well. 

I don’t know what the exact situation is. Maybe they’re in the process of changing the straps and/or puffed sleeves attached to the straps. Maybe the costume moved/felt better without straps. Maybe they were removed for the EPK. I dunno. But she has at least worn straps at one point. Strapless, the ornate silver trim at the side appeared. So it seems a remodeling happened. 

(I thought for a moment it might be two different bodices, but the placement of the hotstones looks identical, so I guess not)

As for the question on this being period or not… Strapless, sleeveless bodices are far and few in Victorian context. There’s almost always some sort of strap involved, be it a string of beads or a gentle drape, or a thin fabric strap matching that of the bodice. The most “nude” look is probably to be found in the portraits of John Singer Sargent in the 1880s through the 1900s: 

(top: “Madame X” (Madame Pierre Gautreau), 1883-84, from The Met, and bottom: Edna and Betty Wertheimer, 1901, from Tate Gallery)

This is the look of fashionistas and something done for evening wear and parties. It doesn’t represent the general Victorian fashion as such. The preference was more coverage, though a generous cleavage was common. But it goes to show the fashion at least existed. 

Twin Souls: the "psychic" bond

I’ve been asked a couple times about twin souls and telepathy.  I don’t know much more about this than I did the last time someone asked me about the topic, but I’ll share some thoughts.

Borrowing from my previous response, regarding “how” this is possible:

(T)wins are simultaneous expressions of one same soul resonance.  They’re already on the same wavelength because they are one soul, expressing in two different bodies.  It would be natural, in that regard, that they’d be frequently in synch with one another’s thoughts.  Sometimes you’ll say the same words.  Other times, you’ll be thinking about something that you aren’t even aware your twin is contemplating (in other words, a more subtle telepathic connection).  Or you’ll get flashes of your twin’s emotions, without trying to tune into these.

That said, your twin flame is not the only person with whom you can have a telepathic connection.  Some people might assume that a telepathic bond “means” you are twin souls, but the truth is that a lot of things that happen to twin souls and are considered “signs” of a twin soul bond are actually things that can happen with soulmates and others.  I imagine however that the difference with twin soul telepathy is that, simply, you’ll be tuning into each other’s thoughts and feelings more often than you would with anybody else.  Why?  Because you’re more closely connected to them.  They are an extension of yourself.  :)

Some examples of twin souls’ being in synch (which some might consider “psychic” or “telepathic”) below.  I’m going to draw the examples from my own life experience since I don’t know of any examples from others’ lives to offer you here at this stage.  Again, just remember, telepathic communication and synchronistic bonds are not experiences limited to twin soul connections!

  • One says something and the other recognizes their own words/thoughts/feelings in the phrasing.  Not just a vague, “Oh, wow, what a coincidence!” but a sense that, “THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I ALWAYS TRY TO TELL PEOPLE!  AND THESE ARE EXACTLY THE WORDS I USE!”

  • The twins make the same jokes in the same moment.

  • The twins make oddly parallel comments in the same moment, in entirely different contexts, without even being consciously aware of what is on one another’s minds.  (You can observe this with social media.)

  • Feeling your twin’s pain.

  • You look at someone who already is or who will be important to your twin, and your thoughts keep getting interrupted with thoughts of your twin, in relation to that person – only to find out later that your twin has a significant bond with them which reflects what you were thinking.  (In these cases, I’m not sure it’s telepathy so much as just the fact that you are a simultaneous incarnation of your twin, so your soul reacts similarly to significant connections.)

  • Alternatively, finding yourself mesmerized by people who are significant to your twin – years before you ever even meet your twin.  You may be picking up on your twin’s thoughts and feelings about them – or even picking up on your twin’s (or your own) energy in that person’s energy field – without even knowing that your twin exists.

  • People quoting your twin at significant moments, unknowingly.  For example, if your twin quotes a poem, and then you’re about to sleep with a new guy and the new guy randomly drops the same poem on you just before he gets undressed (bit of a heart-twisting mindfuck, but it’s all fun!), you can consider that a message.  Call it a message from the universe, a message from your twin, but it’s still a sign of your bond.  Did your twin quote the poem because someone was going to recite it for you in an intimate moment later down the road?  Or did your twin’s soul inspire that person to quote the same poem to remind you?  And does the “why” even matter?  ;)

  • You can hear your twin calling your name.  Even before you meet them.  (How do you know it was them you were hearing?  If they smell like the cologne that flooded your room when you heard a person calling your name years before you ever met.  Which you may be incredulous about the first time you notice it on them in the flesh, but getting over your own doubts is part of the fun!)

  • You may receive messages from your twin psychically.  These can be with words, or even just symbolic images and gestures that you’re seeing in your mind’s eye.  Occasionally, life may even give you “proof” that you did actually receive a message from you twin, rather than just some random idle daydream.  For instance, if your twin says, inside your mind, within a vision, “I gave you a map” – and then somebody hands you a map later that day – it’s probably not randomly un-related.  It’s probably a synchronistic reassurance that your twin’s soul did visit and did try to tell you that they “gave you a map.”  (How sweet of them!)

You can send your twin away, if you really want, in a moment when his/her spirit shows up to talk, if you don’t think you can handle the thought of engaging with them at that time.  Don’t worry; it won’t “insult” your twin’s higher self (the higher self has no ego to be insulted!), and you can’t “ruin” your bond by requesting space when you need it.  Your twin’s soul loves and respects you unconditionally and will never want to push, demand, make ultimatums, etc.

Your twin’s human self doesn’t even have to be trying to communicate with you; their soul is in touch with you at any time.  And so is yours, with theirs.

To close, another snippet from the old ask that I answered:

You can also attempt telepathic communication with anyone, intentionally.  Just be respectful about it by asking for the psychic protection of the party you intend to communicate with so that, if their soul doesn’t actually wish to interact with you, they will not be bothered.  You’d want to respect someone you loved anyway, right?  ;)

Hope that helps shed some light on things!

Wishing you peace and love!  <3

I want ur baby AU drabble

Here’s a one-shot I wrote last night- I needed a break from my fic ahaha. It’s for the’I want ur baby’ AU by @shiirojasmine, because I wanted to try my hand at writing something for it and I’m in love with the AU <//3

Under cut! It’s about 1.4K. Hope you like it c:

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I keep thinking about how these surgeries are going to affect my self confidence once I’m all healed up. I feel very not cute lately, the pain and lack of mobility has made my standard level of hygiene something I’ve had to take a break from, and while it’s not a huge deal since nobody’s really seeing me anyway it still bums me out.

I made and put on a crop top for the first time the other day. My stomach was flat. It’s still incredibly swollen and scarred up, but it was flat. I look far from perfect but I nearly cried, because I felt beautiful.

I came to terms with my body as it was before the surgery. I didn’t feel ugly anymore when I went in for the lower body lift. However, it’s still something that was in the back of my mind whenever id get close to someone because it was something very jarring to see.

After the procedures, my body won’t be that anymore. I’m no longer going to be a living reflection of my heaviest weight, I’m no longer carrying the remnants of who I was at 500 pounds. If a girl takes me home and gets me naked, aside from the scars there will be no obvious signs that I was ever such a heavy weight. For the first real time I’ll get to be me, fully independent of who I was at this difficult time in my life.

It’s scary. I feel and look so different. I take up less space than I did before, nothing fits anymore. I didnt have context because I’ve never lived without the excess skin but it’s so weird to move now and realize how weighed down I felt with it.

I feel so far from everyone right now. I feel like it’s a necessary part of the recovery, because I need to come to terms with myself again before I’m ready to engage with other people. It’s an intimidating thought; it took me so long to feel comfortable in my body and now I sort of have to do it all over again.

I feel like this is all for the better, but I can’t help but be nervous. I’m waiting to see how this will affect my ability to let people in, how I talk to the opposite sex and how I carry myself now.

But in the meantime I’m going to heal, I’m going to become comfortable with myself again, and I’m going to feel great.

Oh and I’m going to go shopping.