Hey everyone! Over the years I’ve had my fair share of English and other writing intensive classes, and combined with my tendency to procrastinate I’ve had to come up with a way to write papers fast.
step one: finding a topic and research (aka the hardest part)
You can’t write a paper without a good topic, a strong thesis, and solid research. There’s no getting around that, no matter how short you are on time. Depending on the class and the teacher, you may have your topic chosen for you or you may have total freedom. If your situation is the latter, an ideal topic is one the you care about, have some general knowledge of already, and is specific enough to be covered in the number of pages you’re limited to. After you have a topic picked, do some quick searches to see what’s out there. If your school’s library has a database, that’s the perfect place to start. Be sure to chose quality articles that have been peer reviewed when possible, and where it’s not acknowledge that the source may be an biased in your paper.
Once you’ve started research, you should have a pretty good idea of what your angle is going to be and what points you want to make. Next write a working thesis. This is basically a sentence or two that states what you will spend the next few pages proving. Once you have it, write it on an index card and put it aside for the next step.
step two: outlining
Take a look at your past papers. How many paragraphs are usually on a page? It’s about two for me, so I keep that in mind when planning my outline. Now for the part that lets me write so fast: index cards.
Take one index card per paragraph you’ll need to fill your page limit, and write “into” on the back of the one with your thesis, and conclusion on the other. Now think about how to best prove your thesis, and anything else you saw in research that you want to address.
On one side of the card goes the general topic of the paragraph (ie, “significance of symbolism”).
On the back goes all of the specific notes and details that will go in that paragraph (ie, “spring as a symbol of a fresh start for x character”)
Once you’ve done that for every paragraph lay them out in front of you and experiment with order. How do they flow naturally?
step three: writing
Now that you have your outline, all you have to do is expand on what’s on your cards. Paragraphs should be at least five sentences each, which is super easy to achieve since you already know what you’re going to say! Think of each paragraph as a mini paper: sentence one should be a topic sentence/intro, explaining what you’re going to cover. The middle/body defends and expands on your topic sentence, and the last sentence or two should conclude the paragraph and transition to the next.
Once you have your body, you can work on your intro and conclusion. A general rule of thumb for intros is to start with a hook (something interesting that draws the reader in) and ends with your thesis. In the middle should be a sentence or so for each paragraph/point, just to give a little map of where you’re going. The conclusion is basically the same, except in reverse. Wrap it up and tell them what you just told them.
After that, let it sit for a little while (ideally a day, but if you’re short on time just go to dinner) and then come back to edit with fresh eyes. Reading out loud will help you catch typos!
step four: citations and formatting
I like to cite as I go so I don’t have to do it all at once. I typically write my own, but if I’m in a pinch I’ll use a citation generator (like son of citation) that works super fast. Just be sure to cite everything that needs one! Plagiarism is so not cool. Double check MLA/APA/Chicago guidelines and make sure that everything is formatted right, and you’re good to hit submit!
Good luck on those papers, my fellow procrastinators!
Number 4 please!!! I wanna burn in all these feels
CUTE THINGS BOYFRIEND!TOM DOES
(this was originally supposed to be titled ‘’things he does that make your heart soar but that was a little cheesetown so now we have this!!!)
he’s a forehead nudger. he’s done it since you first started dating. if your squishing together on the couch, he’ll nudge his forehead into your shoulder to get you to adjust so he can fit flush against you. or he’ll just do it when you two are standing close together. its something that’s extremely intimate like a kiss but yet so gentle and loving
when talking to tessa, he will refer to you as “mummy”.
you can remember the first time he did it. you were waiting by the front door as he fastened her leash and cooed to her. “gonna have a nice walk, aren’t we, princess? you, me, and mummy.” you’ve never discussed it, but the look you gave him when he glanced up at you was the only confirmation he needed
sometimes will refer to you in conversations as “the missus”. once or twice it has sparked some engagement rumors and that’s partially why he loves it
every time you watch him pack for another long press junket it away, he will wrap and arm under your legs and across your back before carrying you bridal style into his suitcase. he pretends to pack you, setting some t-shirts and socks on top of you before shutting the lid. “i told you i can’t forget anything!!”
when he gets home after a long day and its quite late, he wakes you up by slathering your face in kisses. there’s no corner of your skin left untouched before he smiles against it and whispers a “missed you”
feel free to fight me but, he’s a big corner mouth kisser. like not all the time, but rather then place a quick peck to your lips, he’s developed a habit of catching the corner of your lips, in a sort of teasing, cheeky way.
(when he first started doing it, he’d say “there’s more where that came from!!!”)
he’s also a big grabby hand baby. if he’s talking to harrison back stage in a green room, he’ll stretch out his hand to you, beckoning you to come play with his fingers or at least just sit by him.
or when he has a break and for some reason you’re still across the room, he’ll stretch his hands out to, fingers flexing and a whine leaving his mouth
tried to cook for you but only has 3 ½ meals memorized and can never be bothered with recipes because the boy cannot follow directions (”i’m not gonna let a piece of paper tell me what to do!!!”)
when you tag along to his events, in between networking or interviewing, he’ll twist around so he can find you and give you a nose scrunch or a playful snarl, just so you know he hasn’t forgotten you’re there
lays on top of you. just spreads across you. doesn’t matter what you’re doing. you will either become his pillow for a quick nap or listen to him beg for your attention.
he’s a show off too. like if he gets a crowd laughing or does a flip for an audience, he’ll find you in the crowd or backstage and give you and eyebrow wiggles as if to say “did you see THAT”
he hits on you like you’re not already together. you’ll be in the cereal aisle, trying to pick one out for the week and he’ll saunter over to you, place and arm against the shelves and wink “do you come here often?”
or “hey you’re really cute, got a boyfriend?” and you reply “yeah and he’s Spider-Man.” he’s always delighted when you play along. “damn, sounds like a really manly guy, you’re really lucky.”
if you say “i love you” back too quietly, he shouts “what was that?!” until you shout it back at him
he would rather sit on the floor with his back against your legs while you sit on the couch. this way he can drape your legs over his shoulders and loop his arms over them or run his hands over your soft skin
will take deep, deep inhales of your shampoo or hair care sent. like sniffs so hard he may pop a brain vessel “i think i’m getting high off of how good you smell!!!!!”
it looks like he’s snooping around in Webby’s room.
so, what if He’s trying to find a clue about his Mom or whatever happened to his uncle separating for about 10 years?? why webby’s room? well, he knows that Webby’s really obsessed with Knowing and learning about Scrooge’s Family…since she told that herself.
How To Win A Boy: Fumbling Punk Edition | Dan Howell, local punk, and his friends need a new cafe to hang out in, now that Dan has ruined starbucks for them (don’t ask). So they try out the new family business that just opened up a few days ago… and somehow Dan falls in love with the Pastel Goth kid behind the counter who just so happens to be his waiter. Why Phil seems to think disgusting smoothies are going to win Dan over, no one knows, but… well, they do. | Phan | Teen and Up | PastelxPunk | 8,359 Words
Thanks to @botanistlester for the title, and the fic inspiration, not to mention listening to me talk about this fic for the last 3 hours of writing. I apologize for any typos, but screw proofreading, I really want to post already.
Hi! First of all, I’m in love with your chatrooms. Thank you for them.
They are brilliant!! Can you do a chatroom where BuckyxElemental!Reader
hate eachother, Bucky acts harsh on her, but with the help of the
Avengers they realize they actually love eachother and care for
eachother so much? And I’d love to see StevexTony moments!!❤️(Stony is
cute haha) And and and fun time with Thor and Loki :) Also I’d be so
happy if you’ll add Matt Murdock too :) I’m so sorry I asked to much but
that’s all 🙈
(a/n:<3 you are so sweet, thank you, no problem!)
A/N: the chat title menu grows, now serving cinnamon rolls.
Thor has created a chatroom.
Thor has added Loki, Natasha, Clint, Bruce.
Thor: END THIS!
Bruce: End what?
Thor: This awkwardness… it is almost tangible.
Natasha: Bucky and Y/N have been glaring at each other for 2 hours straight and we’re still 3 hours away from the compound.
Thor: I cannot withstand this anymore!
Bruce: Ohhh, that. Sorry I was watching cat videos. Didn’t notice.
Loki: May I suggest throwing Barnes out the jet and watch on as he plummets to his demise? That would surely end the tension.
Thor: Brother, you can’t just use murder to solve all your problems!
Loki: It’s worked in the past!
Natasha: Bucky is at fault and I’m starting to like Loki’s plan…
Loki: See, Thor! Natasha agrees! Lure him to the door and I’ll push him out.
Thor: We are not murdering Sir Barnes despite his dishonorable words towards Lady Y/N.
Clint: Why did Loki even come on the mission?
Natasha: We need to do something. They’re always fighting and I can’t take it anymore.
Bruce: Why don’t we get Bucky to apologize?
Loki: Why don’t we THREATEN HIM WITH VIOLENCE to apologize?
let’s do a ficlet or two about Hanzo being absolutely touch-starved because I relate to that too much because I need more of this
Hanzo has never been the kind of person to seek out, or even particularly enjoy, touching or being touched. Even when he was young, though he was conditioned into seeking the approval of his family elders at all times, he had never particularly craved their physical affection. He roughhoused with Genji in the way siblings did, and occasionally received a pat on the head from his father when he was small enough for it, and that was, for the most part, satisfactory. His family approved of him being distant and untouchable.
That mild aversion to touch followed him into adulthood. Other than the same romantic and sexual experimentations that nearly all teenagers gothrough, he has consistently been unbothered. (It doesn’t help that, nowadays, most of the people to get within touching distance are trying to murder him.)
He doesn’t think of himself as touch-starved in any manner–until he meets Jesse McCree.
Writing is a skill that many people struggle with, and when it comes to academic essays, many people are so anxious about writing that they don’t even know where to start. Many find it easier to begin when they have a clear idea of what they should and should not be doing, so I’ve compiled some tips to hopefully alleviate your essay-induced anxieties.
1. Hooks—you don’t need one. In fact, I would argue that you shouldn’t have one. They’re a juvenile method of starting a paper and, in many cases, they involve broad generalizations that aren’t even true. “Since the beginning of literature, people have been interested in how evil characters are portrayed in novels.” Have they, really? When exactly is the so-called “beginning” of literature? What is your proof that a largely illiterate society cared about the way in which characters were depicted when people like Defoe and Behn were penning some of the first English-language novels? One could argue that most people now don’t even care about how characters are depicted in novels. Get my point? It’s juvenile, sounds lazy, and you can skip all of this by just getting to the damn point by opting to begin your essay rather than constructing a flowery hook.
2. Your thesis. In most cases, your thesis should make an argument of your own, and it should be an argument that you can prove with evidence. You could have a spectacular sounding thesis that is saturated with sophisticated claims and language, but it doesn’t matter how good your thesis sounds if you don’t have textual evidence to back it up. Further, you need to make sure that your thesis answers the question the prompt is asking—if the prompt asks you to use Rousseau’s Discourse on Inequality to access the actions of Frankenstein’s creature, you better make sure that you directly and clearly relate those two texts in your thesis statement. When constructing your thesis statement, make sure that you are addressing the prompt fully, and ensure that you have adequate evidence to back up your claims. You don’t want to get too far into an essay only to realize that you don’t have enough evidence for your argument.
3. Creating a voice in your writing. Have a strong, confident voice. Sound sure of yourself. Don’t say things such as, “This might prove why this character does this.” Make a confident argument—explain in a clear and confident manner the way in which your evidence supports your thesis argument. This is easy to do once you learn how to integrate appropriate quotes into your essays.
4. Using quotes. Quotes are necessary for most forms of essay writing; without them, your argument is weak. Provide context when introducing a quote—don’t simply throw a quote at your reader with no context or explanation. Use shorter quotes when possible, and integrate them into your sentences. Try not to let a quote stand alone as its own sentence. Here’s an example of successfully integrating appropriate quotes into your writing:
“However, Caliban openly attempted to rape Miranda, and when Prospero mentions this, Caliban enthusiastically states that if Prospero hadn’t stopped him, he would have “peopled else this isle with Calibans” (1.2.420-421). Prior to this attempted rape, Prospero and Caliban apparently shared a reciprocal relationship, wherein Prospero taught Caliban English and, in return, Caliban “showed [him] all the qualities o’ th’ isle” (1.2.403).”
As you can see above, quotes are used to provide succinct evidence for what you’re talking about. They show that you have read and possess a clear understanding of the text, and they provide textual evidence that strengthens your argument.
5. The structure of your essay. Your essay does not need to be a cookie-cutter five paragraph monstrosity that has been drilled into your brain since 8th grade; you can switch it up as you see necessary. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to have paragraphs of varying lengths, multiple paragraphs discussing the same argument, or even to bring up previously stated topics and arguments in order to further explore what you’re talking about. Don’t feel obligated to constrain yourself to formulaic writing when frankly, it often isn’t the best way to write a paper. Make your argument in the most natural way possible, and if that required seven body paragraphs, then so be it.
6. Editing your essays. I advise reading your essay out loud when editing. In your initial read-through, check for grammatical mistakes and typos. These mistakes will be obvious if you read your paper aloud. After ensuring that your paper is free from technical errors, reread it again to check how one idea transitions to the next. Does your essay have clear and natural transitions from topic to topic, or are there abrupt shifts that need to be worked out? Finally, make sure your paper adequately proves the overall argument you’re attempting to make. Is your argument the driving force in your paper, or do you make unnecessary digressions? These are all important things to consider before turning in your final essay.
Remember, writing essays is something that, with practice, can become quite easy. Don’t treat writing an essay as some kind of foreign, impossible task; all writing an essay really involves is making an argument and attempting to prove your argument with evidence. If you can do this, then writing becomes substantially easier. Good luck!
ok so basically this is gonna be a huge headcanon post about richjake that @richardgoranski and i made over the past like month (anything in bold is a direct quote from connor)
so back when chloe and jake are dating chloe is like ‘i think we should break up’ and jakes like um why and chloe is like well clearly youre in love with rich and also i like brooke
and jake is like um what i have no idea what youre talking about and chloe turns jake around to look at rich whos on the other side of the hallway/room and his breath hitches and chloe is like smh u Gayass
and so chloe is like jake just ask him out!! but jake keeps denying it like haha what im not in love with rich idk where youre getting this from until chloe just stands there and gives him A Look and jake is just like…..ok fine but what if he says no and chloe is like wtf youll be fine
so jake goes up to rich and is uncharacteristically nervous and red and he confesses to rich and asks him out and rich is like omg….and accepts and BOOM theyre dating
under the cut are just some (lmao i mean A LOT) random headcanons that dont go in any particular order
You’ve probably heard of “freewriting." Here’s what you do:
You sit down, you get comfortable, and you start writing. Some people set a timer for 10, 15 or 20 minutes before they start. Because the game is, you don’t stop writing during those 10, 15, 20 minutes, even if—especially if—you don’t know what to write. If that happens, you write, "I can’t think of something to write,” or whatever. You also don’t go back to correct anything, even typos. In freewriting, there is no concept of a “mistake,” because once you’re done, you just throw it away. You don’t even read it yourself, unless you feel like it.
The point of the exercise is to expend no effort except for the physical effort of writing or typing. Your goal is not to choose words so much as spew words out. Think of it as the writing equivalent of finger-painting. It’s an exercise in not giving a shit.
This is the best way I know for reducing anxiety around writing. Peter Elbow suggests scheduling it at least three times a week. Personally, I don’t schedule it; I do it at random moments during the day when it occurs to me. This addresses my sense that writing is very difficult to start. If you get into the habit of just dropping what you’re doing and spontaneously writing something, writing starts to seem like less of a big deal.
If you want, you can relax the rule about not stopping. I found that if I told myself “I can’t stop!” I made myself anxious—“oh my god, I’ll be trapped doing this thing for ten minutes!”—which impeded my willingness to do it at all. So allow yourself to stop if you need to—but just to rest, not to think.
Freewriting can be practiced for as short a time as you have—five minutes, thirty seconds, however long you can tolerate it or spare. You can do it while you’re on hold or waiting for a file to download. Or you can put a reminder on your phone. Every day, every other day, every other other day, whatever. If you ultimately want to “make writing a habit,” you could pick a time slot and just fill that slot with freewriting for now. That will certainly build a habit, and it asks almost nothing of you except to sit in a chair and move your fingers until your timer goes off.
Well, okay: it asks slightly more of you than that. Freewriting is similar to meditation or mindfulness practice: you do have to focus, and mainly you focus on what’s in your head. For some folks, that can be uncomfortable. If it is, try to focus on the words and not on you. If you can’t stand your own thoughts, describe what you see around you instead. Or think of the words as grit that has collected inside you that you’re flushing out—like turning on a faucet to clear rust out of the pipes. The words are already there, so when you freewrite, you’re just discharging them. Those words aren’t you, they’re just words.
I offer you this rusty pipe metaphor because it has helped me a lot. Writing, for me, has always meant feeling my lack of worth in its fullest intensity—as if every word I write were declaring my mediocrity. So of course I avoided it. But if I think of the words as grit in a pipe, my self—my own abilities and my own psyche—are not at issue. Just caked, rotten, crusty words that need to be dissolved, loosened and washed out.
Freewriting has a few purposes, according to Elbow. As I said, it trains you to decouple your words from you, to write with less fear that what you write reflects on you. It accustoms you to producing “bad” writing and seeing that the world doesn’t end. It teaches you to make mistakes without fear—or rather, to write without “mistake” vs. “correct” even entering the picture.
The real point of freewriting is just to practice spontaneously generating words. Merely generating words, it turns out, is difficult and demanding before you even ask whether they’re the right words. Many of us (though not all) can generate words with relative ease when we talk. But for reasons that are mysterious to me, writing doesn’t work like speaking. Maybe it’s because you have more time to choose your words when you’re writing—and there’s nobody sitting there, responding to what you say. The point is, the channel between your brain and your typing/writing hands can get stiff and clogged. So the first step toward writing without pain and anxiety is simply to loosen and unclog that channel. You’re not even building a skill, you’re just stretching a muscle.
I find when I freewrite that after a few minutes, my mental state shifts. I go into a sort of trance in which things are happening in my mind and I’m observing them but I don’t feel like I’m controlling them. Which, for someone who lives her life with an iron grip on her every thought and deed, is an enormous relief. Once I stop freewriting and start writing normally, some of that lightness lingers. My mind and body remember the sensation and can return to it even when I write more slowly and deliberately.
If writing is extremely difficult for you, you might need to do nothing but freewrite for a while. You might need the sustained experience of producing words that won’t be evaluated, that can’t be evaluated. Even once you start writing normally again, you could still spend the first few minutes of your writing time freewriting, just to clear the pipes.
Try it. Try freewriting for thirty seconds. Right now. Just open up a new document or grab an empty junk mail envelope and see what it’s like.
This was actually harder for me to put together than the French and Spanish ones, as I don’t listen to much “modern” Italian music, and I feel that’s what learners would like to have some advice on. In the end, I mostly went for classics, I hope you can forgive me ;) As usual, the playlist is only half-serious, and I tried to include links to videos featuring both the Italian lyrics and the English translation when I could. Enjoy!
Mina – also known as the Tiger of Cremona, she’s been called the greatest Italian singer of all time, so I’d say her songs are definitely worth a listen. Famous titles are Tintarella di luna [x], Se telefonando [x]and Città vuota [x].
Fabrizio De André – probably the most famous Italian songwriter ever, and a crowd favorite for sure. Listen to his works if you’re looking for melancholic tunes and thought-provoking lyrics; I’d recommend Il testamento di Tito [x], La canzone di Marinella [x] and Fiume Sand Creek [x](but honestly I’d recommend his whole discography and I’ll always be glad to translate his songs if anyone wants me to).
Francesco Guccini – another great songwriter. L’avvelenata [x] is what you want to listen to if you wanna learn some swear words (or if you just need to vent), Canzone per un’amica [x] might kill you inside if you’re like me, and Auschwitz [x] is a powerful but delicate ballad about the death of a boy in a concentration camp.
Mia Martini – one of the most soulful voices in our musical history, who died in the Nineties under circumstances that to this day are still not completely clear, many great lyricists wrote for her. In her repertoire you’ll find hits like Minuetto [x], Almeno tu nell’universo [x] and Piccolo uomo [x].
Lucio Dalla – keeping in line with the Italian songwriting tradition, here’s another household name. Listen to 4/3/1943 [x], Caruso [x] and L’Anno che verrà [x] (here sung in a duet with Francesco De Gregori, yet another singer-songwriter).
Tiziano Ferro – so, here’s an artist that’s still consistently active nowadays (I’m more versed in his earlier songs, though). If you know how to scream-sing at least the chorus of Sere nere [x] you’ll blend among Italians in no time; Non me lo so spiegare [x] is also a classic, as can be said of E fuori è buio [x].
Laura Pausini – possibly one of the best known Italian singers worldwide right now. Her big breakout song, La solitudine [x], is now a cult. Strani amori [x] and Simili [x] are also worth mentioning.
Caparezza – the first rapper on this list! Cool lyrics and quite far from stereotypes, but not the easiest to understand, I’d recommend him (strongly) to more advanced learners. Among his older songs I like best, Vieni a ballare in Puglia [x], Eroe [x] and Legalize the Premier [x].
Elisa – beautiful, melodic voice. Luce [x], Ti vorrei sollevare [x] and Eppure sentire [x].
Rino Gaetano – a voice with a raspy quality to it with which many a generation has fallen in love. Listen to A mano a mano [x], Ma il cielo è sempre più blu [x] and Gianna [x].
Fiorella Mannoia –Quello che le donne non dicono [x] and Il cielo d’Irlanda [x] are old hits of her, a more recent one is Combattente [x].
Jovanotti – funky, alternative hip-hop, pop. Check out Penso positivo [x] (old and upbeat one), Sabato [x], and A te [x] (the song everyone was dedicating to their friend/significant other/cat when it came out).
Baustelle – indie rock group. Personally, I like Gli spietati [x], La guerra è finita [x] and Le rane [x].
Eros Ramazzotti – he was only twenty-one years old when he first competed in the Sanremo festival with Terra Promessa [x]. You can also check out Adesso tu [x] or Più bella cosa [x].
Gianna Nannini – have a look at Fotoromanza [x], Bello e impossibile [x] and Sei nell’anima [x].
Max Gazzè – I almost forgot about him! Witty, generally upbeat and fun (but also interesting) to listen to. La vita com’è [x], Sotto casa [x] and Teresa [x] are cool songs of his.
BONUS – random songs I like (and more)
Alice [x] –we mentioned De Gregori, and this is one of my favorite songs of his (but there are many more! Rimmel, Niente da capire, Generale…).
Per Elisa [x] – singing this one is an artist called Alice, haha. You’ve got to watch the video, she makes the funniest/most badass faces.
La terra dei cachi [x] – by Elio e le storie tese, pretty emblematic as far as the Italian spirit is concerned. Might be a little tough to catch, though.
La bambola [x] – there had to be some Patty Pravo in this. “The girl from the Piper club”, as she was known at the beginning of her career, is a true icon of Italian music.
Ti regalerò una rosa [x] – a touching ballad that won the Sanremo festival in 2007.
Controvento [x] – I’m not the biggest fan of Arisa’s songs, but I really enjoy this one.
Per tutta la vita [x] – I really like Noemi’s voice. Fun fact: she was the soloist in Disney Pixar’s Brave!
Luci a San Siro [x] – melancholic hymn to a lost romance and youth.
Notte prima degli esami [x] – Antonello Venditti making high school seniors emotional since 1984.
Triangolo [x] – the song that comes to every Italian’s mind whenever show writers throw in a daring love triangle.
Il gatto e la volpe [x] – Edoardo Bennato’s take on two well-known character from Pinocchio.
50 special [x] – a classic, you’ll end up singing it to the top of your lungs with your high school friends sooner or later.
Gli anni [x] – basically, same as above (and it’s a rule that has a tendency to be valid for every 883 song).
Monna Lisa [x] – Ivan Graziani in one of his best performances.
Maledetta primavera [x] – come on, it’s called “Damned Springtime” and was covered in way more languages than I thought.
E la luna bussò [x] – sung by Loredana Berté, Mia Martini’s “edgier” younger sister.
…I could go on forever, but here’s a list I made featuring a bunch of songs that marked my childhood [x] (and probably those of many others Italian twenty-somethings).
I also translated I promessi sposi in dieci minuti [x]. You’ll find a thorough explanation of what this is in the link, but let me tell you that this epic mash-up features a lot of Italian hits, albeit with different lyrics, so it’s a great resource! If you want me to, I can write you down a list of songs that appear in it.
as I was making this list, I noticed that @langsandlit had just written a post suggesting many artists definitely worth checking out [x]. Give it a look, it’s really helpful and I agree with what he wrote (plus, there’s a significant section dedicated to contemporary artists).
There’d be many, maaany more (and I might make a second post soon, maybe slightly more concise haha), but that’s it for now!
Jily AU: Your photos keep showing up on my iPhone, and the internet helped me track you down. Now we’re kind of celebrities, and also I think you’re hot. (Inspired by "I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life" on Buzzfeed)
The article can be found here. I recommend it. It’s a wild ride. Some liberties were taken with the prompt.
Because James is a fucking idiot, his phone gets stolen.
He knows he’s a rowdy drunk and he knows the three word mantra any university student needs when they go out (‘phone-cash-keys’) but Sirius has bet that he can take more Jägerbombs than James and he’s never been able to back down from a challenge. He doesn’t even think twice about whether his phone is in the pocket of his jeans or his coat, the latter of which he leaves at the table. He swears Peter is sitting there when he leaves, but when he comes back ten minutes later and a whole lot dizzier, the table is empty, coat and all.
He and Sirius find Peter later, crouched over a toilet and heaving with Remus patting his back. James has the decency to wait until his friend is done vomiting to ask, “Pete, d’you have my phone?”
If possible, Peter gets greener. “Sorry,” is all he gets out before shaking his head and clutching his stomach.
Peter ends up feeling worse about the whole thing than James does. James is upset to have lost all his pictures and apps, and he’s livid at the wanker who decided to grab his phone, but ultimately, he can afford a new phone and he can take new pictures, so in a few months he’ll likely get over it. But Peter insists that because James left his phone with him, it’s Peter who owes him a new one.
James attempts to refuse. Peter doesn’t have the kind of money to replace his phone, and James isn’t about to put that on him.
“My friend Dung knows how to get an iPhone for dirt cheap,” Peter claims, and reluctantly, James agrees.
A/N: I wanted to write a little blurb about Eggsy Unwin because THAT MAN but it basically ended up being a plotless 1,108 word dissertation written simply for fun (and to fulfll my dreams). Hope somebody enjoys and sorry for any typos!
Small plot synopsis: Eggsy asks the reader, who’s his best friend, to move in with him because they’re soooort of like a couple, right? There’s just a lot of waffle before that. I’m sorry…
Pairing: Eggsy x reader
Warning: a teeeeny bit of cussing… :o
What looks like an Italian Renaissance painting catches your
attention and you do a bad job of suppressing your amusement at the idea of
your best mate owning such a fancy thing. Eggsy, who’s in the kitchen making
drinks, obviously hears you laugh because he asks what’s funny, looking
slightly defensive as he stands in the doorway.
“Nothing,” you tell him innocently. When he looks unconvinced,
you gesture around casually. “It’s all just very… fancy.”
“I suppose,” he muses, glancing around the living room.
“You suppose?” you
gape. “I’ve seen worse hotels! I’m scared to sit down in case my jeans mark the
He rolls his eyes, re-entering the kitchen as he accuses,
“you’re bein’ ridiculous,” over his shoulder.
“I’m not, Eggsy!” you deny, pulling a face when he appears
again, this time holding two glasses of amber liquid. “I hope that’s Red Bull.”
This draws a laugh from him and even you grin thinly as you
join him on the sofa, Eggsy shooting you a pointed look when you initially
teeter on the edge.
“Don’t be a wally,” he says, tugging on your arm until
you’re nestled in the cushions alongside him. Your face grows warm as his hand slides
up your arm and over your shoulders.
“Who did you say left you this house? A distant uncle?”
He shakes his head. “A colleague of my dad’s. I heard they
were close.” His expression turns sullen suddenly, like he’s mourning an old
You take one of the drinks and hold it aloft. “Well, whoever
he was and wherever he is now, may he continue to sip the strongest whisky as
he sits among kings on a gold throne in a fancy arse suit.”
He smiles and clinks his glass with yours. “I’ll drink to
You both neck your liquid comfort, you humming in surprise
when you realise it’s lager.
“Y’know, it’s a pretty big place,” he says, his pensive tone
suggesting he’s thinking out loud. “Here by ‘imself… a bloke could get lonely.”
He deliberately avoids your eyes, focusing on his index finger as it traces the
brim of his glass. The implication his words carry isn’t lost on you but his
sudden reticence is out of character.
You and Eggsy have been friends for years, and you’ve never
really known him to be anything but poised, a bit wicked and, at times, maybe a
bit of an exhibitionist. Even after nasty run-ins with his stepdad he always
seems to have little trouble picking himself back up again. His inability to
let things affect him for too long is something you’ve always admired about
him. That and how unwaveringly loyal he is to those he loves.
Now, however, he seems unsure; almost timid.
“You’ll never be alone,” you insist, keeping your face stony
when he turns to you. “You’ll always have JB.”
Eggsy tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth, looking over toward
the corner of the room where his pug is laying in his own plush bed, spread
flat on his back, tiny legs twitching while he dreams.
“The world’s deadliest beast,” he derides, shaking his head
fondly. “Daft as shit.”
Your chest does its annoying little habit of compressing
when Eggsy’s free hand finds yours in your lap and starts fiddling with your
fingers. You peek sideways at him, and, as you expect, he still seems too
absorbed in the sight of JB to notice he’s doing it.
What may be a surprising fact about Eggsy is just how
tactile he can be, even if it is a subconscious trait. There have been numerous
24 marathons you can recall where
your interest in the show’s story shot straight out the window as soon as Eggsy
took it upon himself to rest his hand on your knee or idly play with your hair.
You’re sorry to admit you have no complaints about this. In
fact, maybe that’s the problem. His supposed proclivity for needing to touch
you somehow has – inevitably, you suppose – completely changed how you see him.
“What d’you reckon then?”
“About what?” You blink, pulling yourself from your reverie.
“Movin’ in with me,” he proposes simply.
You choke out a laugh. “You want me to live with you? I
mean, you want to live with me? Together? Here?”
“S’what I said, wasn’t it?” He laughs, but you’re struggling
to see the joke.
“Yeah – but – it’s kind of…”
He waits patiently for you to finish but increasingly looks disheartened
the longer you’re silent.
You inhale deeply, more so to gather courage than anything.
“It’s what couples do, Eggsy.”
His brow furrows as he mulls this over. “We’re practically a
couple though, aren’t we?”
“We are?” Your eyes widen.
He shrugs blithely. “We do everything together. You’re the
person I spend most of my time with cause, I realised recently, you’re the
person I wanna spend all my time
with. We always go to the cinema and the pub and there’s no one in the world I
You grin, unable to pass up an opportunity to tease him. “And
in your eyes going to the pub automatically makes us ‘official’?”
“You really going to focus on that part and ignore the much
more romantic shit I said?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, taking it all in. “I didn’t
know you felt like this—”
“It’s been on my mind for a few weeks,” he admits with a nod,
“since I was told by a certain someone
that you’ve fancied me since Year 9. At first I was like, ‘no way’ and told them
to fuck off and stop making up stories. But eventually I came around, saw what
everyone else saw.”
“And what’s that?” You wonder warily, slightly horrified to
be hearing all this.
He wriggles his eyebrows. “The way you look at me.”
You flatten your palm against his face, gently shoving him
away and granting yourself a moment to think of a clever response. That plan
backfires however when he snatches your hand and pulls you closer.
“So what d’you say?” The grin on his face is complacent and
you hate it as much as you love it. “Wanna be roomies?”
You can smell his aftershave (is he inching closer?) and you
think of how humiliating it is that he’s known for weeks about your eight year
old crush on him (he’s definitely getting closer) and you’re not sure how
exactly you can laugh your way out of this one when you catch his eyes flicking
down to your mouth.
Panicking, you say, “There’s a stuffed dog in your loo.”
a/n: short drabble about my second ult bias jae from day6! i hope this isn’t too shockingly bad, id like to think after almost 6 years of writing fan fiction id be good but looks like its a no :) dt: @jaechicken !!
- jae would be one of those boyfriends that would tease the crap out of you just because he could
- like don’t get me wrong, the kid loves you but you’re too easy to tease and of course he can’t resist
- pda! would be rare [unless he’s jealous, then you can bet he’s all over you]
- i think he’d really enjoy cuddling with a movie on in the background, you sat in his lap whilst his chin rests on your head. he’d be so content that way
- personal hype man??? jae is here. he’d probably hype your ass up just for eating some cereal knowing him
- i can see him wanting you to wear his clothes, t-shirts, sweaters and such. he’d find it so so adorable to see it swamping you, laughing as you pout at him
- jae just losing himself whilst talking to you and getting all embarrassed when he realises and asking you to never bring it up
- i dont think he’d initiate skinship but low key loves it when you do
- would want to teach you guitar, even if you protest
- dates mostly including food and movies
- telling you to “get it” for just breathing honestly, this child
- texting you 24:7 just to update you on his day if he can’t see you
- he’s a shameless triple texter don’t fight me on this
- both of you annoying the fuck out of brian
- doing anything just to hear that beautiful laugh of his
- jae telling you to square up for stealing his french fries during your first date
- kisses are soft with him, he just wants to take it slow with you
- i can either see him worrying himself about confessing his love or he’d be really chill and drop it out of nowhere but either way deep down, he’s super nervous
- but you smile and kiss him and you see his cheeks turn the loveliest shade of pink :))))))))))
- jae wanting to cook for you but burning it
- he’d show you his top memes because he loves you
- prank wars seem very possible but wonpil would give it all away with that sunshine smile of his [we love him regardless]
- swearing to you that he can dance
- jae: “can we have a sleepover?”
you :“jae we live together”
- would enjoy teaching you Korean, would be so proud when you started to recognise words and phrases [if you aren’t already fluent
- wearing his glasses
- day trips !!! he’d wanna go somewhere cool, like the aquarium
- sending each other stupid selfies whilst he’s away
- he’d feel so helpless being away from you for long periods of time and even though he loved his job, he wishes he could see you more
- both you saying stupid shit : “exhales in ifuckingloveyourstupidass”
- sometimes you spend hours sat in silence on your phones, cuddled up but it’s okay because its relaxing and you both feel happy with each other close by
- snapshot wars : who can get the most blackmail on the other to post about on their birthday
- sungjin loves having you around to supervise the children
- hiding backstage during asc and surprising him
- he’d walk out, smiling slightly from the fun show, only to see you standing a few metres away. he’d run towards you practically jumping into your arms. i think jae would just love having you to hold and you being there would of made him the happiest guy on earth
- to conclude: he’d always be there for you, i see him being the guy to go from friends to lovers because he’s a shy lil bug when it comes down to it :))
a/n: hihi so yea this is my first day6 au !! i hope its enjoyable to read, i will be checking over it, i usually miss typos even with editing so i apologise. i love jae so much he has a special place in my heart so i felt it was only write to do him first :]]] i have a brian au coming in a day or two so watch out !!!! feedback welcome ;; sort of ib: @yikes-anotherkpopblog
Everybody's been bashing JK for not including LGBT+ characters into her books but y'all do realize that around the time she published them everybody was so anti lgbt? Way more than people are now and she was going through a hard time finding a publisher already, and many people would have not bought her books for that. (Not saying what she did is right nor is this a proper justification, but go a little easy on her, she still sucks ass tho, she's done worse than just that)
people literally lined up for hours to be the first to get her books. you’d be right about philosopher’s stone but like… are you joking??? by the time the first movie came out she could’ve published whatever the fuck she wanted and nobody would give a shit. order of the phoenix could’ve been a 700 page book with just the words “harry took a year off” [typo and all] in 72pt comic sans on one page and everybody still would’ve bought the fucking shit out of it.
like i agree she sucks ass but like… she didnt publish them all at once in 1997, she published them over ten years, and in the twenty years since the first book came out she has revealed that one (1) character is gay, and has not mentioned it in the ten books, nine movies and one play she has had some kind of creative influence in.
i get the point ur making and id be inclined to agree but her books outsold the bible in some years, which just doesn’t happen
Characters: Stiles Stilinski/Me (I legit have no shame for this)
Word Count: 6,893
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, It’s honestly just really sweet sex?, possible tears
Notes: So, talking to @minhosmeanhoe about doing something for the end of Teen Wolf and this is it. It’s hard to really express what this show means to me because it has changed my life. So much. So this is literally my rants, through Scott and myself, expressing what this show means to me, thanking it for everything it has done. The things I say are coming legit from me. This isn’t the end for us though. I will not stop writing for teen Wolf, for Stiles. It means too much to let it go away completely. So, just… enjoy my rant I guess. And me spilling my heart out about the show. And of Stiles. And me wishing Stiles was mine.
PS This is unedited. And I don’t even care. So ignore all my typos because I know they exist.
Unpopular opinion but I actually liked the finale????
Like, I totally and completely understand where everyone’s anger and disappointment is coming from, but I thought that all in all, it was a good way to end season 3 and it leaves a lot of new potential storylines for season 4.
Now, here are some things I wanted to talk about:
[[SPOILERS AHEAD, OBVIOUSLY]]
1. Wes’ death:
Yes, I am pissed that they ACTUALLY killed off Wes. I was pretty damn sure that the body being “moved” was just an excuse to cover up for the fact that THERE WAS NO BODY because HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DIE. I thought that that was going to be the big plot twist/OMG moment. I was latching onto the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he faked his own death with the help of whomever he called on the phone in the cab that night. I was wrong. HOWEVER… I get WHY the writers did that. Killing off, for example, Frank simply would NOT have had the same emotional response from the audience and wouldn’t have really opened up any new and exciting storylines to explore in the future either. Same thing with killing off Nate. (It seems that the majority of the fandom is kind of indifferent about his character, so the consequences of his death would have been lackluster for the most part – other than some inevitable scenes of Annalise grieving). Killing off Simon (the annoying new guy) would have just been plain dumb and a total cop out. As sad as it is, Wes’ death is opening the door to a lot of new storylines. Killing off Connor, Laurel, Michaela, etc. without knowing enough of their respective backstories first would have been stupid and unfair. At least with Wes, we’ve already spent 2+ seasons exploring his backstory in great, great depth. Most of the main storylines on the show revolved around him. Now his arc has come to an end and it has undoubtedly impacted every. single. character. The fact that it was overwhelming tragic continues to show what we all already know about HTGAWM: it’s one of the REALEST shows out there in terms of depicting everyday life and social issues. HTGAWM is woke af. There’s no denying that. Life is tragic. Did they really have to kill off Wes? No, of course not. But did really have to make Annalise be raped repeatedly by her uncle when she was just a little girl? What about Bonnie? No, right? And did they really have to make Annalise be in a car accident that caused her to lose her unborn child, thus traumatizing her for the rest of her life? Nope. But you know what? These things happen in real life and not a lot of shows have the BALLS to depict that on screen. HTGAWM does. Wes’ death is so powerful precisely because of how UNFAIR it was. I’m not justifying it. I’m just saying it makes for powerful storytelling. Again, how many of you would have cried if it had been Frank or Nate? Likely, not many. Would Frank dying have started a discussion about the kind of crap POC experience everyday? That was the point. In conclusion, at least Wes’ character was not rushed, his death was premature for the character but not for the story, and at least now we can focus on Laurel, Michaela, Connor, Oliver and put the spotlight on their backstories more.
2. Annalise throwing Wes under the bus
Idk why so many people were upset about this. This is literally what Annalise has been doing since day 1. She’s a brilliant character but has ALWAYS been morally questionable. Season 2 Episode 4, anyone?? That was the EPITOME of Annalise’s dubious morality! Do you guys remember what Michaela said to her after they framed Nate in season 1? “How are we supposed to be okay with this? He’s innocent. And he’s Black.” Here’s the thing: Annalise framed an INNOCENT Nate for Sam’s murder. And you know what? After the framing served its purpose (protecting Wes and the others), she got him off about four episodes later with Eve’s help. She then framed an INNOCENT Catherine Hapstall for Sinclair’s murder AND her own shooting/attempted murder (at the hands of Wes, might I add). And you know what? She took the blame away from Catherine literally in the next episode. Right now, Annalise has pinned Rebecca’s murder on Wes and has also outed Wes as Sam’s killer (which, remember, is NOT a lie… Like Bonnie said, Wes IS a murderer) Why did Annalise do that? Well, to prevent them all (herself, Nate, Bonnie, Michaela, Connor – WHO WAS KIDNAPPED AT THE TIME, Laurel, Oliver, Asher, Frank) from going to jail! And you know what?? I’m willing to bet that next season she’ll think of something to restore his good name and image (just like she did with Nate and Catherine) AND get back at Denver. She just couldn’t do it all at once. Poor woman needed a break after the LITERAL HELL she’s been through. She just needed an impromptu solution asap.
3. Wes’ killer being Laurel’s dad
Not random at all, seeing as how WE DON’T EVEN KNOW THE MOTIVE YET. If when we finally find out his motive and it turns out to be lame and stupid, THEN we should complain!! NOT NOW!!! In season 1, we didn’t know WHY Frank was the one who murdered Lila. It seemed random as fuck. Then in season 2, we find out why and it was such a well-written and complex backstory that even managed to involve a number of characters (Sam. Annalise, Eve, Wes, the Mahoneys, etc.) Pete Nowalk already confirmed that we’ll be finding out more about Laurel’s family and backstory next season so CHILL. (Side note: My personal theory is that Annalise hired Laurel’s dad to murder Frank – since the first hit man she hired failed – and the guy that Laurel’s dad hired messed up and killed Wes instead. That would explain Frank saying to Annalise, “I know it should have been me.” That would also make Laurel’s “It should have been YOU” to Frank at the hospital technically be considered foreshadowing/a clue/hint).
4. Laurel’s and Oliver’s offensive comments
Laurel’s telling Connor to kill himself was NOT OKAY. Oliver assuming Laurel’s dad worked for a drug cartel because he’s Mexican is NOT OKAY. You know what else is not okay? The way Annalise treats Bonnie, Annalise also telling Frank he should kill himself just a few episodes back, Connor telling Laurel she should get an abortion and that it was good that Wes died, etc. These aren’t writer flaws. They are CHARACTER FLAWS. It is BELIEVABLE that after all the traumatizing shit these people have gone through, that once in a while, a darker and uglier side of them comes out. A side that will make them go, “I’m sorry… That wasn’t me…” later. That makes sense to me. Is it okay? No, of course it’s not okay. But it’s believable. They are human beings completely capable of fucking up and unintentionally hurting others, especially when they’re panicking, when they’re in the middle of a crisis, and after all this life-changing insanity that’s ruined their lives and screwed them over and has likely permanently damaged them and, let’s be real, has probably given them suicidal thoughts, too.
Let’s remember that HTGAWM continues to be one of the most diverse shows out there, with an abundance of POC and LGBT+ actors and characters, and that it also shines light on a variety of pressing social issues. That’s it, y’all. That’s all I wanted to say.
So… see you all in season 4.
(Sorry if there are typos in this post. I don’t feel like proofreading).
I dated a guy for 8 years before we decided to get married. He dumbed in the alter where I waited for two hours without him or one of the bridesmaid whom he apparently eloped with. We had sex the night before so it shocked me to the core and I only knew what he did because of a snap he took in Las Vegas about it. What would RFA + V + saeran react to that when the have crush one me. Sorry it's too personal but I'm hurt and I don't know how to cope. I know it's full of typos please ignore them.
*cracks neck* A few of these characters may beat up the fictional equivalent of that douchebag for you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t know if I can properly convey to you the sadness and anger I feel at your story. So I’m just going make sure that our MysMe friends take care of him.
Also, I make an exception about pronouns for you. It’s all you/yours for this HC.
I’m actually surprised this one flowed out so naturally… enjoy!
When he hears what happened, he’s like a deer in the headlights
How is supposed to respond to that?!
You’re crying, and it breaks his heart to see you cry, but he’s also angry that that douchebag hurt you so badly
And underneath it all, even though he tries to squash the evil little voice, a part of him is singing “Ode to Joy” because you’re now single
But not ready to mingle, so he keeps his distance in that way
He’s there for you, holds you, does his best to cheer you up
if she ever sees him again, she’s going to Judo kick him so hard in the head, his skull will fracture
When she finds out, she gets you out of the church as fast as possible, helps you change, and takes you somewhere safe from prying eyes, private, and takes your phone away
She calls the RFA (still at the wedding) tells them what happened, and asks everyone to clear out the guests
Zen’s so angry on your behalf that you even hear him yelling through the phone, swearing up and down that if he ever gets his hands on DB, he will kill him
She will bring you anything you need, tea, coffee, pastries, ice cream
Jaehee has warm blankets (fresh from the dryer), dvds, and time, so she stays with you until you need time and space, then leaves, and comes back when you call
You need to work your way through this? She understands if you need to take a quick cry break in the back
seriously, though, if she ever sees him again, she will probably Judo kick him into the sun
Zen’s never exactly been shy about flirting or expressing his feelings for you, even if it was one-sided, not taken seriously, and he never intended to seduce you away from your beau
But Zen is a hopeless romantic, so someone spitting on the name of love like that, regardless of you, pisses him off
He doesn’t play around with women’s emotions (not on purpose, anyways)
When he hears the two of you even had sex the night before, he’s so angry he wants to hit everything
But he’s here for you, and so he drags you out of the church, takes you either to a bar or his apartment (that way you don’t have to look at the place you shared with him and be reminded)
Zen ignores the looks two get while riding his motorcycle
Once your safely hidden away in his apartment, he isn’t afraid to hold you, give you anything he has-
-in his fridge! That’s totally… what… um… h-he meant…
He has a ton of beer, and is more than willing to knock a few back with you and play games or watch TV
In the end, you play drinking games and watch bad TV
Years and years later, your in a happy relationship, married to Zen, you’re walking down street and see the guy the left you at the altar, and Zen bull rushes him and throws a few punches
Dude holds a grudge
We all know Jumin Han and how quick he is to jump into relationships
He wanted a relationship with before he found out you were engaged, and was only okay with letting you go because you seemed happy
So, with everyone waiting in the pews at the church for over an hour, he knows something is wrong and goes looking for you
When he finds you crying, he asks what’s wrong, and you show him the snap of DB in Vegas, eloping, he’s furious
Jumin immediately tells you deserve so much better, and if you’d like, he’d be more than willing to step in as the groom for this wedding
If you say no, he will accept your answer, but will be there, supporting you and hoping someday you’ll say yes to a spontaneous marriage proposal
However, if you say yes, he walks you out there, head held high, heart soaring, a small smile on his face
No matter what you say, he’ll probably send a security team after him to beat him up
Will do anything and everything to make you smile after hearing that terrible news
Saeyoung will try to distract you, protect you from prying wedding guests, and hack your now ex’s life simultaneously
He’ll even drag Saeran into the fun! or just hand off the hacking so that he can focus on distracting you more
Saeyoung will try his best to protect you from the pain
He hacks DB’s social medias and edits any picture of him so he has devil horns, a tail, and a hitler ‘stache
So when you inevitably check, possibly out of habit, you see a small part of what he did
Also, btw, Saeyoung hacked int DB’s credit scores, managed to drop the whole thing to zero and lock it there, and he also got the IRS to look into him, just to fuck with him 😈
When he hears what happened, he just asks what you want to do now
Is there anything he can do for you? To help you?
If you say, “Take me home” he will escort you home
If you say, “hold me” he will hold you and hopes never to let go
He take care of you anyway you ask him to
The only time V says no, is when you ask for something that’s bad for you (like your phone, because you keep staring at that picture of DB in Vegas for some reason, like you can’t believe your eyes)
V is just very compassionate and giving, and eventually helps you through things, even if it’s only piece by piece
might ask Jumin to get a security team to track down DB and do something about him
Oh, this guy is so dead
He took a snap chat? Well, guess what, Saeran is a hacker and can not only trace his location, but fuck with everything around him
This DB is going to pay for making you cry
Saeran takes all the guys money, uses it on things for you to make you feel better afterwards
Seriously, on DB’s dime, Saeran arranges an entire day at a nice, fancy spa with a massage, a facial, mani-pedi, haircut, the works, all for you
Of course he doesn’t tell you any of this because you wouldn’t approve
He also pays a few guys off (again, on DB’s time) to go “rough up” DB
He watches the whole thing from a distance, recording it all with his phone
You let out a little giggle, gripping Harry’s arm as you tried to climb the stairs to his apartment. You were returning from his album release party and, of course, the elevator in his building was closed for repairs. You weren’t drunk, but two glasses of champagne plus towering heels in a dimly lit stairway was not a good mix. To make matter worse, Harry had to live on the highest damn floor. Nothing was simple with that man.