and then he shot a vending machine

is nobody going to talk about the CUTEST and most heartbreaking part of the episode (Ok bear with me) where Lucifer took something from the vending machine and then LEFT MONEY!??!?!?!? 

Like he didn’t even steal, knowing too well he was a hot god damn mess wanting to die. Nobody was watching him. Chloe was distracted. He pulled money out of his wallet and stuck it in the place where he took his snack and then scurried off. And LATER WHEN THE SHOT SHOWS CHLOE OBSERVING THIS. 

very symbolic. clearly despite all he’s done and how fucked up he is in this episode we are seeing a side from Chloe’s POV- She’s recognizing this isn’t really him, he’s not well, and in her eyes he’s not the monster he’s been acting like. proof in that he still took time to leave a stupid amount of money in a vending machine that he clearly broke open and hijacked some chips from.

TLDR big dumb devil baby in a lot of pain still left money for a snack he couldve stole and chloe noticed

Operation: Fragile Stiles

Based on this prompt: Stiles puts bells on all the wolves and Derek still manages to not make a sound. 1370w

It all comes to a head when Erica decides to leap out at him from beside a vending machine and he flails so hard his fingers cramp on the tab of his newly purchased can of coke. He makes a leap of his own, backwards, and gets drenched in a fizzy spray as his head smacks against the vending machine’s glass and sends something clattering down inside. It’s his third Operation: Fragile Stiles mishap of the week and there are still six days to go.

He splutters as the sticky drizzle runs down his face, his anger initially dampened by the acknowledgement that at least it wasn’t aimed at his crotch this time, until he realises he shouldn’t have even reached the stage of making concessions in the first place.

Erica doesn’t seem to see the problem. She bends down to retrieve the Butterfinger that somersaulted over the coil inside the machine with help from the impact of his skull and throws him a victorious grin as she skips away.

He’s had it with this game he never agreed to play. He’s sick of being the only human who has to put up with this shit, the constant shaving of years from his life as he watches over his shoulder for the next wolfy surprise. Allison might know her way around a bow and arrow and Lydia might have her acid tongue for a deterrent, but Stiles has… weapons. He does.

It’s Isaac’s snigger and Jackson’s curling lip that do it.

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When the King Likes You

Based off this request: i was wondering if you can do a fluff one? Where crowley is interested in the reader and she is in love with him but thinks he prefers…. thinner….women. but he proves her wrong. You can keep the sarcasm that is Crowley. Thanks:)



The boys had left you alone at the motel. They’d offered for you to go with them, but you were weary from travel and hunts. You’d much rather stay back and gorge yourself on vending machine snacks and reality TV.

The knock at the door startled you. You quickly grabbed your gun and held it at your side as you peered out the peephole.

What you saw there made your heart flutter and shudder at the same time.

You slowly opened the door, leaving the chain on. “Crowley. What do you want?”

“Hello, darling,” the King of Hell crooned at you. “I’ve got some information for Moose and Squirrel. May I come in?”

“They’re not here.” You silently cursed yourself. Should you really have told him that?

“Hm. Well, mind if I come in and wait for them? It’s a long journey from Hell and I’d rather not make it twice in one day.”

You looked him up and down. He seemed unarmed, but really, what sort of physical weapon did the King of Hell need? But he’d never harmed you in any way….

You felt the weight of the gun in your hand. You knew you were more than capable of protecting yourself. Sam and Dean had made sure to leave behind plenty of weapons.

“Fine,” you said, shutting the door and removing the chain. When you opened it back up, Crowley smiled at you.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said, walking in past you. The nickname made your heart flutter again, but you tried not to think too much of it. Surely he called all women that. It didn’t make you special.

You tried to play it cool as you stalked past him and flopped on the bed. The crinkle of cellophane made you wince and you were suddenly aware of just how many snack wrappers littered the room. Sure, some of them were from Dean, but the ones on the bed were all from you.

You felt, more than noticed, Crowley looking at you. You quickly swept all the wrappers on to the floor, as if that reversed your having eaten what had been in them. “Sorry,” you mumbled, unsure what exactly you were apologizing for.

You turned your attention back to the television and tried not to jump out of your skin when Crowley sat next to you. The King of Hell commandeered whatever space he wanted and somehow managed to look regal even while sitting on the obnoxiously loud floral printed quilt.

“What are you watching?”

“Trashy TV,” you said, unsure what exactly you’d stumbled upon. Hopefully it wasn’t anything too embarrassing.

“Ah,” Crowley said after a moment. “I recognize her. I believe one of my crossroad demons made a deal with her—got her this show. Shame she’ll be losing her soul in…” You saw him check his watch. “Two and a half years.”

You looked back at the screen. The woman he was talking about was someone you were envious of—perfect hair, perfect teeth, perky breasts, taught stomach, tiny waist and hips—tiny everything except breasts, really. You self-consciously pulled your knees up towards you and wrapped your arms around them.

You and the King of Hell watched the television for a bit, in silence. Once or twice you thought you saw him glance over at you. During the commercial, he finally spoke again.

“You know, there’s something that I’ve always wondered about you, darling. Which of these boys do you plan on taking as your Prince Charming?”

You scoffed. “Neither. And I find it insulting that you assume I’m going to fall in love with one of them, just because I hunt with them. I’m stronger than that, thank you.”

“Oh, I know you’re strong, love. I just thought surely with their charming smiles and alluring personalities…”

“I’m not looking for Prince Charming.”

“Oh,” Crowley said, a strange expression on his face. “Are you…”

“No,” you said with the slightest roll of your eyes. “I’m not looking for Prince Charming, because I don’t need to be whisked off my feet and saved. And besides, why be a princess when you could be a queen?”

Your heart leapt to your throat, realizing what you’d said. ‘No, no, no,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Please don’t let him–’

Crowley let out a laugh at that. “Very good,” he said, a smile on his face. There was a strange look in his eye, which made you turn away from him. “You know, I do believe I’ve got an opening for you…”

“Please,” you said. “You don’t want me. You’d probably much rather have someone like her,” you pointed at the screen, where the woman from before was back. “She’s more fit to be a queen.”

Crowley noticed the emphasis you put on the word ‘fit’. “Love, I’d much rather have a pretty little thing like you beside me than that pile of silicone and diet pills.”

You weren’t sure which word shocked you more, ‘pretty’ or ‘little’. You dared take another look at Crowley and all you saw in his eyes was sincerity. You remained frozen in place as the King of Hell gently slid his hand into one of yours.

“Besides,” he said in a low voice. “‘Y/N, Queen of Hell’ does have a nice ring to it.”

You looked down at your clasped hands, trying to hide the smile creeping onto your face.

“You don’t have to give me an answer immediately,” Crowley said, drawing your attention to his face. “But I do hope you’ll give me the chance to show you how wonderful it would be.”

You bit your lip. “I’d like that,” you said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

astralvulpine  asked:



54. My muse says they hate yours

Wolf was on the wrong side of the board in a losing game of chess. He always was–it was as though every time the fallen lupine would pick himself back up, he would change alliances and find himself playing for the losing team once again. Perpetual, it was an endless streak of failure for the captain of Star Wolf and he can’t help the grumble he gives while he sits on a cold, metal stool in that filthy, half-empty dive bar, hovered over an untouched pint of whisky as he gathers his thoughts. These were the closing days of a long, bloody war that he had given up everything for.

And of course, the lupine was condemned to it: taking aim and making bad shots for a cause that was damned from the start. Just like always. Doomed to scratch the losing markers off of every lottery ticket. Just like always. Fated to buying the one drink that would get stuck in a vending machine. Just like always. The gray wolf’s ears bend flat as he depresses himself by thinking of all of life’s unpleasant experiences that he could compare his existence to. 

A clawed hand finally reaches for the drink he had long since been served and he takes a sizable gulp. The burn of his spirits seemed to crawl slowly down his throat before nestling warmly in the pit of his stomach. He can’t help the hiss that whistles through his yellowing teeth as he breathes through it, eye shut tightly as he tortures himself with another sizable drink.

It would be during this time that a familiar vulpine enters the room. Of course, he’d initially go unseen by Wolf, whose only sense of vision was taken from him for the moment. He would only alert Wolf to his presence by choosing to actually sit next to the lupine. It’s a quick glance to the fox that brings him to make a quick decision: a third swallow, albeit one that was much easier would be what would help Wolf with what was surely to come.

Fox was going to gloat, right? 

He had it–he had won. Every last line of Andross’s defenses were down, the mad scientist’s fleet was almost completely wiped out. And where did one of the few remaining people on the supporting side of Venom find himself at this moment in time? Sitting next to the very man he was losing the battle to in some dinky little bar floating mindlessly through space. Every day, Wolf would see fewer and fewer familiar faces; less and less men he had fought alongside to defend a heartless maniac from the long arm of the law–from justice. 

And it churned his stomach to be physically right next to the man who had single-handedly done it. The grip on his whisky glass was tightened, his sharp and unruly claws giving a tap against the glass as his fingers wrap around it. 

“Figured you’d be halfway to Venom right now…” Wolf begins in the lowest voice he could possibly muster. Those who knew the wolf well enough could recognize the slight slur in his voice. The lupine had been self-medicating for a while, it was shocking he wasn’t more drunk than he already was. Both ears pull back in anger, the moving muscle in his ear causes the strap of his eyepatch to shift – something that always frustrated Wolf more, just like always.

“Why the hell are you here?” He barks sharply, fully turning his body to face Lylat’s hero. “–No, course you’d be here. Of course you’d take a fuckin’ drink while standing in the face of the last fuckin’ hurrah. It’s all so easy fer you, why would I expect otherwise? This whole thing has all been one fuckin’ game to you – you couldn’t take none’a this seriously, even if you fuckin’ tried. I mean, every fuckin’ victory was practically handed to yer spoiled ass. Everybody’s been pamperin’ yer ass because you lost yer dad n’all this – shouldn’t expect Junior to not reward himself fer all his hard work during such a hard fuckin’ time – that would be selfish of me! N’who am I to take away James Junior’s happiness!? After everything the poor kid’s gone through! S’not like he hasn’t had his his hand held through all’a this ‘er nothin’ while the rest of us ‘er left alone to grin and fuckin’ bear it. Oh. wait.

The glass is raised to his lips and two large swallows of its contained spirits are taken. Sharp breaths shoot through his nostrils as the anesthetizing alcohol burns through his insides. “How come when I’m forced to face somethin’ ugly, I gotta do it alone? But when Corneria’s fuckin’ Golden Boy stubs his goddamn toe, everybody’s gotta stop what they’re fuckin’ doin’ and kiss it better? S’it cuz your daddy was killed? Cuz mine fuckin’ walked out b’fore I was even born, and I ain’t got a consolation prize ‘er nothin’.” His hand rises and he rubs at his good eye, his palm sweeping against his socket and he gives a long, outward sigh. 

“V’always wanted to be you, Fox. V’always wanted to have yer life, be yer father’s son, meet the people you get to meet n’see the places you get to see; you get to have the freedom of doing whatever you want, like fly to dive bars outside Venom airspace just so you can harass the person whose soul you’ve crushed into the ground time after time again… But the worst fuckin’ thing about it, Fox, is you can’t do nothin’ but complain about all of it.”

“I’ve always coveted the name Fox McCloud. But now–now when I hear yer name, it makes me sick, makes me wanna drive my fuckin’ claws into yer throat and tear out yer goddamn esophagus. Yer absolutely fuckin’ terrible, McCloud, yer sarcastic, and pessimistic, entitled and fuckin’ annoying as shit…and I still want to be you! I want what you have and I hate it! I hate it – I hate you! I fuckin’ hate you, Fox!”

Elbows to the bar counter, each hand grips as his skull tightly as he buries his face in his arms. Why the fuck was Fox here? What did he want from Wolf, so close to his victory? The drunk lupine’s world was spinning, the alcoholic burn in his stomach was replaced by the fire of anxiety. He needs to get out of there. 

The signs as Emo Kylo Ren tweets
  • Aries: it's IN there and now you'll GIVE it to me *as he fights with a vending machine*
  • Taurus: yeah well DARTH VADER never SHOT his PHONE to get out of a conversation with his son, DAD
  • Gemini: hux the important thing isn't what YOU think of these skinny jeans it's what Darth Vader would have thought of them
  • Cancer: dear diary in solidarity with darth vader's creation i'm turning c3po back on when my parents shut him off they have no right to silence him
  • Leo: current status: if there's a bright center to the universe i'm on the planet that it's farthest from
  • Virgo: you know *gestures expansively* I can take whatever I want *Rey sighs* "kylo i know how buffets work"
  • Libra: dear diary i think my voice is changing but it could be that i'm wearing a helmet with a voice changer now
  • Scorpio: *stands apologetically beneath your window with a boombox playing the Imperial March*
  • Sagittarius:
  • Capricorn: you don't need a lot of fake friends when you have real friends like darth vader
  • Aquarius: there's nothing sadder than a middle-aged man in a vest
  • Pisces: mom can you come pick me up my tauntaun died please hurry it is quite cold