and then he says it's an honor

in an alternate universe, Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, and the only problem with that is that Bucky passes out before Steve can properly introduce him to the rest of the Avengers. but that’s okay, because when Bucky next wakes up, free of mind control, it’s to the sounds of pandemonium in the kitchen. this is how he learns that there is a Norse god of thunder living there. also, that no one should mess with Nat’s food. (and that Barton messes with Nat’s food, and reinforces the imperative that no one should mess with Nat’s food.) that Dr. Banner eats enough for, like, four people. and, maybe most importantly, that Steve brings plates of food down to his boyfriend.

“wait what,” Bucky says when this comes up within the first day. oh no, he thinks. Steve got a boyfriend and Bucky wasn’t even around to tease him about it?

“that’s wrong,” Clint tells Thor, who was the one who volunteered this information in the first place, “everyone knows zombies can’t eat food.”

“i do miss when Anthony ate with us,” Thor sighs heavily, and Bucky despairs inside. he missed Steve’s first boyfriend and Steve’s first boyfriend’s death? that’s so sad. what kind of a best friend is Bucky now?

it takes him a few days to corner Steve about this. “you got a boyfriend?” Bucky demands, at which Steve blushes and nods. “who?” and that’s how Bucky learns Steve’s boyfriend was Tony Stark, and now Bucky’s missed the demise of Steve’s boyfriend and Howard’s kid and that’s just really, really fucking sad. “is he the reason you keep going to the basement?”

“that’s where his lab is,” Steve says, sounding sad. he’s producing a photo of Tony now. actually, it’s half of Tony’s face, captured in a manic grin while a blurry Steve in pajamas tries to grab the camera in the background. “he’s been away for so long. i miss him.”

damn. that’s really sad. “hey, c’mon,” Bucky tries to comfort, “plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Steve looks horrified at this. “Buck, i’d never!”

oh, no. Howard had a kid and that kid was Steve’s boyfriend and then he died and Steve isn’t even over him yet. Bucky thinks this is the worst possible time he could have been unbrainwashed.

at the end of his first week, he inadvertently suits up with them on a mission, despite Steve’s protests. Bucky pretends he doesn’t see Steve kiss the folded picture of Tony right before they go into the battlefield, like he’s about to help take down this horde of evil robots in his honor. that’s really, really fucking sad, holy shit, how’s Bucky supposed to comfort him through this?

about three fourths of the way through the mission, a man in a metal can joins them. “sorry i’m late!” says its garbled voice. “alarm didn’t go off in time.”

“because we turned it off,” Natasha says exasperatedly as she snaps an evil robot’s neck between her thighs. “can you even walk without the suit right now?”

oh, there’s a man in there? Bucky doesn’t get to ponder it until after they’ve dealt with the evil robot army. then they’re piling back into the quinjet and the metal man’s mask is folding away (fascinating) and Steve is taking him into his arms and kissing him and what? what happened to ‘i’d never!’? and then Steve pulls away and Bucky gets a good look at the man’s face and recognizes it from the crumpled photo Steve tucks into his pocket– “wait i thought you were dead.”

“i don’t understand but i’m offended,” Tony Stark says.

“your boyfriend’s not dead?” Bucky directs to Steve instead.

“Tony’s not dead,” Steve says, aghast. “of course not. why would you say that?”

and that’s how Bucky learns that this whole time, Tony’s been very much alive and just holed up in the lab working on a new arm for him, and that Steve was, in fact, not taking meals down to the lab because he wanted to feel close to his dead boyfriend’s spirit, but because he wanted to eat with his alive boyfriend. “so you just carry his picture around even though he’s not dead?”

“that’s a perfectly normal thing to do,” Steve defends.

“you kissed it like he was dead and you were thinking soon i will join you, my love.”

Steve goes scarlet. Tony preens and goes all, “aw, babe.” then they’re making out and Bucky’s somewhat horrified because he’s been so preoccupied thinking about Steve’s boyfriend being dead that he hasn’t spared a thought about how awful it might be to witness Steve and his living boyfriend’s disgusting love in real life. but hey, Tony’s really not that bad and he makes Steve happy, and Bucky gets a free arm out of it. (with which he punches Clint because it was totally Clint’s fault that he believed Tony was dead to begin with.)

washingtonpost.com
Indiana farmer plants corn maize tribute to Carrie Fisher
A southern Indiana farmer who created a corn maze with trails outlining the face of “Star Wars” character Princess Leia says he planted it to honor the late actress Carrie Fisher.

EVANSVILLE, Ind. — A southern Indiana farmer who created a corn maze with trails outlining the face of “Star Wars” character Princess Leia says he planted it to honor the late actress Carrie Fisher.

Jeremy Goebel designed the maze in February, more than a month after Fisher’s late December death, and planted it this spring using a GPS device. The corn is now mature and its trails outline the “Star Wars” character’s face, distinctive hairstyle and part of her upper body.

Goebel tells the Evansville Courier & Press that as a longtime “Star Wars” fan he “wanted to pay tribute to Carrie Fisher.”

The maze at Goebel Farms in Evansville, Indiana, honors Fisher with trails above Leia’s head that spell out “Carrie Fisher RIP 1956-2016.” The maze opens to paying customers this weekend.

Curvy Hips and Pretty Lips - Loki

Curvy Hips and Pretty Lips Masterlist

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson X Reader

Words: 1189

Warnings: it’s Loki the god of Mischief. You bet your sexy ass it’ll be the most NSFW of all of them

@dark-night-sky-99 requested: Hey!! I love your writing, and absolutely love how you take conscious of us curvy girls, not many care so thank you!!, I was recently reading your Curvy hips and pretty lips series and I know it’s closed but I was wondering if you could do something similar with Loki since he’s my favorite character and I’ve never read about him and a curvy reader before.

A/N: Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE. Comments appreciated and welcomed. This is the first time I write for Loki so be kind :)

Originally posted by lokitty

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20 Autobot Leaders Rated by How Much I Want to Punch Them

Starting with the big guy, the granddaddy of them all, G1 Optimus Prime. He’s like a father to me. I can’t in good conscience punch him, even if he sometimes deserves it for bad puns. 1/10 punchability I just can’t do it 

Rodimus Prime ranks high in the punchability for some because when Optimus died in the original movie, it traumatized kids so much that all their negative feelings got channeled into unbridled rage towards the guy who replaced him. However, I hate those guys because they became insufferable as adults, so that really just lowers Roddy’s punchability for me personally. 4/10 punchability he still kind of deserves it though 

Grimlock led the Autobots for a length of time I can’t remember after Optimus died in the Marvel comics. His was a reign of terror. I can’t decide if his jughead crown is kickin or if i want to kick it off him. 7/10 punchability he gets some lenience for his childlike innocence

Another Marvel comics leader was Fortress Maximus, who was also Cerebros. He was also the leader in the Headmasters anime after Rodimus flew off into space forever but I don’t think he actually had a personality in that. He’s a matryoshka of Autobot leaders with each getting smaller and more punchable than the last, ending in Moody College Student Spike Witwicky, who is thankfully the first one on this list who I don’t have to climb something to punch in the face. 9/10 punchability I’m a very short person so I might have to climb something anyways but that isn’t going to stop me

Last Marvel comics character, I swear. Captain Picard Hi-Q binary bonded with Optimus for a while, then Optimus died (this was about the third time), and Hi-Q eventually turned into Optimus so we just considered Optimus alive again. Don’t think too hard about it. 3/10 punchability I really like Star Trek TNG so I probably wouldn’t punch him

Ginrai’s robot self looks exactly like Optimus Prime, but he isn’t. Why he looks like him is sort of hand-waved away in the anime. The real-life reason, of course, is because he was just the Japanese release of Powermaster Optimus Prime. Ginrai is really good because he talks like an American teenager even when his robot form separated from his human self to become the Autobot commander at the end of Super-God Masterforce. 0/10 punchability I just can’t really punch a guy wearing converse, skinny jeans, and suspenders

Star Saber makes me forget that the Autobots were ever good guys. I don’t think he even has a personality outside of “noble and heroic leader.” He adopted a human son and tried to send him to a Catholic school but he doesn’t even buy him a uniform. The kid barely even goes to school in the end. 9/10 punchability don’t adopt a human if you’re not prepared to care for him

Optimus Primal is a good Autobot leader because he never even set out to be anything more than a captain on one ship but ended up sacrificing himself to bring life back to the planet, probably sparking a religious following. He won the “Power of the Primes” vote so he’s got to have a pretty low punchability, but he also looks like his malleble gorilla face would feel nice on my powerful fist. 5/10 punchability when POTP stuff starts coming will his name change to “optimus primal prime”?

Lio Convoy being a cat makes me not want to punch him so much. However, he isn’t a good father. Don’t worry about the kid not really being his son in any sense of the term. Why is ineptitude at fatherhood a recurring theme for Autobot leaders? 8/10 punchability Lio Junior deserved better

I’ll admit that Beast Wars Neo is the only thing on this list that I haven’t seen or read any of, so Big Convoy is mostly here for completion’s sake. Hence I’m rating him entirely on his appearance. Mostly I wouldn’t want to punch a mammoth, because they’re extinct, but I think he could take it. It would be a good workout for both of us. 10/10 punchability no hard feelings, we’re just two dudes lovingly punching each other

In Japan, he’s known as Fire Convoy, continuing their tradition of Autobot leader names, but in the west he’s the first-ever reboot of Optimus Prime. I don’t have a lot of opinions on him as a person or leader, but his existence opened the floodgates of Optimus Primes to come, which I have mixed feelings on. 5/10 punchability I can’t think of a reason to punch him, but I also can’t think of a reason not to

Armada Optimus Prime suffers from being Armada Optimus Prime. I think this was when they really managed to distill “Optimus Prime” down into its truest form. No longer was Optimus Prime a character, but a concept that extended beyond fiction and into our world. Optimus Prime means something. Optimus Prime is a figure for justice, honor, and liberty. 8/10 punchability I still can’t forget Energon though

Do I have to say anything. I’m not even somebody who vehemently dislikes Hot Shot, but for the love of god, why did he ever get to be a leader. 6/10 punchability I’d punch him but I wouldn’t put a lot of force into it, he’s not even worth it

Movie Optimus Prime is. uh. something else, all right. I can admire the movie taking the idea of Optimus Prime and going “okay, but what if he was also a murderbeast?” because I think that’s something we all really wanted to see play out. In practice it kind of scares me. 2/10 punchability I’m worried if I went for his face I’d no longer have mine

Animated Optimus Prime is a good boy. A baby boy. He’s trying his best in a world that seems against him. We all love him. 0/10 punchability I simply can’t bring myself to mar those luscious lips

I’m sure Animated Ultra Magnus did some great things during the war, but, yunno, seeing how Cybertron under him during peacetime is sort of a Stratocracy, I question his fitness to be the leader of a planet. They really gonna let the government run experiments on civilians? Okay. Alright. 4/10 I don’t want to punch him per se but I do sort of want to lead an armed rebellion against him

Hhh. HHHH. HOOGH. HHHAAAHH. HEH. HHhhhHHH. Just seeing Sentinel Prime’s face fills me with anger. If let loose, this rage could level mountains, sink continents, and incinerate entire solar systems. If there is any good in the cosmos, Sentinel Prime will not go unpunched. His face will be shattered into pieces with the sheer power of my unbridled fury. 10,000/10 punchability I have already punched him, spiritually, and I will do it again

I mean, alright. Prime Optimus Prime is kind of the distilled essence of Optimus Prime. If you took all the other Optimus Primes, and took all the things they had in common, and then took out a little bit of the anger because let’s be real here all the other Optimus Primes are quite a bit angrier than this one, you’d get Aligned Optimus Prime. Which is kind of how the Aligned continuity as a whole works. So, yeah, That Sure Is Optimus Prime. 3/10 punchability his soft-spoken words of wisdom would calm me down before I ever even raised my fist

Heatwave is the quintessential non-Optimus Autobot leader. He’s noble and courageous with a good sense of justice, but he was thrust into leadership without being the best and it and is a bit of a hothead. You can use that exact sentence to describe so many of the bots on this list. 4/10 punchability I don’t want to use violent methods when it comes to Rescue Bots but sometimes Heatwave’s personality warrants it 

I honestly can’t believe it took 30 years for a Bumblebee to be leader for reals. It happened so gradually that nobody was surprised when it happened, and yet it also feels like nobody can really accept it. I know I can’t. He doesn’t even look like any Bumblebee. Is this how longtime G1 fans felt when the Unicron trilogy started reusing names for different-but-not-wholly-different characters to keep the trademarks? 8/10 punchability we know you stole your schtick from Hot Rod via Hot Shot so stop trying to act like you’re so special 

Explaining Vikings And Other Barbaric Badasses

Now I’m a huge fan of the show Vikings, and my heritage comes from all over the world including that particular line. But my mother repeatedly expressed her pride on 3 of her ancestors, Native American’s, Germans, and the fuck mothering Vikings. It got me thinking… How the hell would we politely inform an alien that our past ancestors not only excelled at torture and bloodshed, but some cultures like Vikings took it to an unbelievable level. I imagine it would go something like so: 

—————————————————————————
“Human-Erica, I have a question regarding something we had discussed in our,” Grek’laz cleared his throat and moved one of his elongated arms to cover his mouth, a human like movement he had adopted while attempted to gather his thoughts upon speaking to one of the six humans aboard their ship. “Our um,” he tried to find the right words to discuss what he had learned, “Our Human Cultural Class. It was a brief history detailing the predatory and hearty nature of humans.” 

Erica brushed her hair behind her ear, raising a brow curiously. Grek’laz among many other species had often come to her and the other humans with questions regarding their Death World up bringing, it was rather fun seeing them learn something new about their species. “Grek you can ask anything, I told you all before. What’d you learn today?” 

Grek’laz pointed to above Erica’s bed with two of his tendril like fingers. The tall alien creature easily dwarfed the human before him, but the stories they had heard made him instinctively hunch forward, a method his species used to appear non-hostile. It didn’t help the humans had told him the smaller of their species could be the more violently inclined, a claim he hadn’t yet learned was a joke or serious.  Where he pointed at, there lay a blade behind some ancient and primitive symbol. The blade had strange yet simply carvings, and was rusted by the thousands of years it had been handled by the family. “That weapon, the… You claimed it was a sword, if my words are correct. We learned those symbols belonged to a tribe of warrior humans from you pre-technological era. Called ‘Vi-kin-gs’,” he slowly pulled the words out as he expressed it with the upmost respect. 

Erica kept her brow raised and nodded slowly, “Yes, and?” she encouraged him to continue. 

“We heard that these… Vikings… Were some of the most concerning warriors of their time? But that they… Revealed in battle? Craved it even?” He asked with hope that it was not true. He knew humans were seen as a military force not to be trifled with, but the ones he had known were peaceful, to think there use to be a clan that craved nothing more than battle was, to him, terrifying. 

Erica merely nodded, “Yep, my ancestors were Norse, or viking as they were called as well. They were some crazy bastards, the old beliefs they held said that to enter the highest of the heavens with honor meant you had to die bravely in battle. Only true warriors did. This lead them to be pretty creative, to say the least, in areas of hurting.” 

Grek’laz gulped, rubbing the back of its neck nervously, “I… I do not understand?” He questioned. He was morbidly curious. Though part of him did not wish to know. 

“The Blood Eagle, was something one of my ancestors went through if you want to believe the old tale.” 

“B-Blood Eagle?” He gulped again, “That sounds terrifying alone, dare I ask what it was?” 

“Do you dare?” She smirked, showing off the dense and wicked teeth all humans possessed. He nodded, much to his own dismay. “It was a fascinating process, though admittedly brutal beyond all standards. One of my ancestors had made a grave offense and attempted to steal the land of a Jarl, a ruler of such, and this Jarl was brothers to the King of all the land. My ancestor was punished with the Blood Eagle. It was said if you could take the pain without wincing, you would enter the heavens called Valhalla. But if you winced or cried out, you be damned.” She cleared her throat, hoping to spare Grek some of the details. The Elorians were more pacifist than most species. “They started by cutting your back open with a knife,” she could already see him flinch and look more and more nervous. “They then break open the back of the ribs, sometimes hammering them open. Then finally they pull the lungs out and rest them on your shoulders to look like the folded wings of an eagle.” 

Grek’laz looked as though he was about to vomit, just imaging the process made him sick. “Your ancestor … I weep for the torture, he must’ve been in such pain.” 

“Who knows? Stories say he never even made a sound, other then to scream to the Gods they believed in that he was coming very soon.” She chuckled softly. This was funny to her? Grek was truly terrified.

“Your world truly faced a monster, no offense, Human-Erica.” Grek gulped again in a panic. 

“Oh those were just the Vikings, humans all over the world were doing stuff on that level.” 

“THEY WHAT?!? YOU’RE KIND ACTIVELY TRIED TO FIND MORE CREATIVE METHODS OF INJURING AND HURTING EACH OTHER?”

“Oh Grek … I really hope they tell you about the Spanish Inquisition,” Erica laughed before patting his side, for his shoulder was at least 2 feet higher than her. “I’m heading to the mess hall, join me if you want,” she nodded before making her way out. 

“I believe… I have lost my appetite,” he grumbled quietly. Humans… They were terrifying because they remembered these practices, whose to say they didn’t plan to use them if their enemies deserved it?

July 4 2017
241 years ago America claimed its independence. And sometime in January of 1891, roughly 126 years ago, near the end of the Steel Ball Run race, the 23rd president of the United States mysteriously disappeared and was never heard from again.
Today we not only honor the founding of a nation, but the bold legacy of a true patriot who would do anything for his beloved country, and who was so well beloved that even after his supposed death managed to maintain a 91% approval rating. Funny Valentine, a true patriot through and through.

Psy says that it's BTS' turn now to shine!

Concerning BTS’ upcoming appearance at ‘American Music Awards’ he said:

171109 | Psy’s Instagram caption: “#tbt2012 #momentumofPSY @amas #5yrslater #BTSturn #proudofthem @bts.bighitofficial," 

Originally posted by nochuie

Yes! Our boys are up there. The same artist they were so honored to just stand next to for some seconds in the past, now got their back. 

Casual affair

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Unprotected sex, cursing, casual dirty talking? 

Summary: A casual thing becomes regular, there’s one rule only: No strings attached.

A/N: Inspired in P!ATD’s Casual Affair. A lot of sex comes under the cut. Feedback is love, feedback is life.


Originally posted by nooodle07

Hey, a casual affair
that could go anywhere
and only for tonight

You looked around you and prayed for the door to not creak as it tended to do. You sneaked inside and the sight made you smile wickedly. The God of Mischief was lying on his bed with the light of his side table on and a grin that matched yours.

In a split second, and by means of his magic you thought, he was already overpowering you and keeping you in place between the cold door and his also cold body. His breath brushed your lips, and his emerald-green eyes pierced all the way to your soul.

“I’ve missed you, princess” he growled, keeping his mouth just millimeters away from yours, “so, so much…”

“Why keeping me waiting, then?” You retorted.

He snickered mischievously, and what you thought was going to be rough, was completely gentle. His lips pressed against your own and his hands moving along the curves of your frame were soft and they lingered on your skin as if they didn’t want to let you go. You felt him sighing in joy when he found an uncovered spot of skin.

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FUCK have i told you all about this au I have where Cosette can see ghosts?

OK so the premise is basically Cosette has been able to see ghosts all her life.This is based on the lines “There is a lady all in white/holds me and sings a lullaby” because as this is sung Fantine is already dead if you’re following book canon (or even musical canon JVJ doesnt leave until Fantines dead and he’s squared off with Javert and then it takes a while to ride to Montfermeil) 

ANYWAY

After the barricade, Les Amis stick around as ghosts. I dont know why, maybe they’re in purgatory, maybe thats just what happens when you die, I dont know I’m not a theologian. 

Marius is unaware of the ghosts. But Cosette, who’s been seeing ghosts her whole life, can, and she doesnt think too much of it. Yes, they’re dressed pretty modern, but plenty of revolutions happen, and she assumes they’re from 1830 or 1828.  She and Marius have moved into a nice enough house after their wedding but Paris is full of ghosts as its an ancient city, and shes used to it. 

Until, one day, she notices that the ghosts, especially a dandy with dark curly hair, seem to stick close to Marius. She has an inkling, and she decides to listen closer when Marius tells stories of his friends. She starts to recognize them, from Marius’s tales, and with a sinking heart she realizes, these arent just recent ghosts, these are the ghosts of the June Revolt, and are the closest thing Marius ever had to a family. 

She’s tried to communicate with ghosts throughout the years, with varying levels of success, the most being with her mother. (I will fight to the death over this ok Fantine gets to help raise her daughter beyond the grave) 

Cosette knows that Marius would never believe her, but whenever he goes out for his strolls by the ruins of the Musain or when he’s working at his firm, she endeavors to learn about these people that made her Marius so happy. She learns about their stories, who they left behind. Some, like Courfeyrac, warm up to her immediately, teasing her about Marius, and telling her how they pined. Some, take longer, and she has more trouble understanding. She learns about the peculiar relationship between many of them, which she doesnt quite understand at first, but she supports and endeavors to do better. She learns why they fought, and why they were willing to die for their cause, and finds herself agreeing, although she wishes they might have lived, and that her Marius might have left unscathed. 

She goes out and tries to make right by them, volunteering at the orphanage where Feuilly spent his childhood, paying off Joly, Bossuet, and Grantaire’s tabs at various cafes. She finds the Enjolras family burial plot, and pays for a new headstone, one that says son instead of daughter, and that has the right name. She seeks out Musichetta, Floreal, and Bahorel’s mistress, and befriends them, offering them comfort and support. 

Marius thinks shes a bit odd, going off at all hours, but he assumes shes just giving alms like shes always done.

And finally, once she’s done her best to honor the dead and to befriend those that her husband considered family, she starts to notice a girl ghost, a girl who’s face she hadn’t seen since she was a child, timidly watching.

Memo to Tillerson about the Moron

To: Rex Tillerson
From: Robert Reich
Subject: The Moron

I can understand why you feel Washington is a place of “petty nonsense,” as you said Wednesday when you called a news conference to rebut charges that you called Trump a moron last summer after a meeting of national security officials at the Pentagon.

I’m also reasonably sure you called him a moron, which doesn’t make Washington any less petty. You probably called him a moron because almost all of us out here in the rest of America routinely call him that.

But you’re right: There are far more important issues than the epithet you likely used to describe your boss.

On the other hand, your calling him a moron wouldn’t itself have mushroomed into a headline issue – even in petty Washington – if there weren’t deep concerns about the President’s state of mind to begin with.

I bet every cabinet secretary has from time to time called his boss a moron. I was a cabinet secretary once, and although I don’t recall ever saying Bill Clinton was a moron, I might have thought it, especially when I found out about Monica Lewinsky. But Bill Clinton was no moron.

The reason your moronic comment about Trump made the headlines is that Trump really is a moron, in the sense you probably meant it: He’s impulsive, mercurial, often cruel, and pathologically narcissistic. Some psychologists who have studied his behavior have concluded he’s a sociopath.

Washington is petty, but it’s not nonsensical. It latches on to gaffes only when they reveal something important. As journalist Michael Kinsley once said, “A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth – some obvious truth he isn’t supposed to say.”

Face it. You are Secretary of State – the nation’s chief diplomat – under a president who’s dangerously nuts.

Last weekend, for example, Trump publicly said you were wasting your time trying to open talks with North Korea. Does he have a better idea? Any halfway rational president would ask his Secretary of State to try to talk with Kim Jong-Un.

And there’s Iran. You and Defense Secretary James Mattis have both stated the nuclear agreement should be retained. That, too, is only rational. The International Atomic Energy Agency says Iran has been honoring the agreement. Without it, Iran would restart its nuclear program.

But Trump is on the verge of decertifying the agreement in order to save face (in the 2016 campaign he called it an “embarrassment to America”) and further puncture Barack Obama’s legacy. His narcissism is endangering the world.

You tried to mediate the dispute between Qatar and its Arab neighbors. That, too, was the reasonable thing to do.

But then Trump and his son-in-law Jared Kushner sided with the United Arab Emirates, where they have business interests. Less than one hour after you called for a “calm and thoughtful dialogue” between Qatar and its neighbors, Trump blasted Qatar for financing terrorism. That was also nuts.

You are rightly appalled at Trump’s behavior. I can understand why you distanced yourself when Trump blamed “both sides” for violence at a white supremacist rally in Charlottesville. And why you were horrified when Trump gave a wildly partisan speech to the Boy Scouts of America, which you once headed.

Given all this, I’m not surprised to hear that you’ve talked about resigning, but that Mattis and John Kelly, the White House chief of staff, have talked you out of it.

I urge you not to resign. America and the world need sane voices speaking into the ear of our Narcissist-in-Chief. 

As Senator Bob Corker, Republican of Tennessee and chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee said recently, it’s you, Mattis, and Kelly who “help separate our country from chaos.” I don’t think Corker was referring to chaos abroad.

Let Trump fire you if he wants to. That would further reveal what a moron he is.

But if you really did want to serve the best interests of this nation, there’s another option you might want to consider.

Quietly meet with Mattis, Kelly, and Vice President Pence. Come up with a plan for getting most of the cabinet to join in a letter to Congress saying Trump is unable to discharge the duties of his office.

Under the 25th Amendment, that would mean Trump is fired.

3

i love alexander the great’s relationship with his boyfriend Hephasetion who was a general in his army and his personal bodyguard. they told each other their secrets and were present at each others most significant life events…Their mutual teacher, Aristotle, described them as being one soul in two bodies. when the Persian queen mother apologized for mistaking Hephaestion for Alexander because of his taller height, Alexander dismissed her embarrassment by stating “he too is Alexander.” they were childhood friends, remaining close to one another their whole lives until Haphaestion’s sudden death of what is thought to be either typhoid fever or even poisoning in 324 BC. if hephaestion was poisoned for political reasons, perhaps to emotionally disturb Alexander and sully his judgement in government and military affairs, it worked lol….he went nuts. when hephaestion died, Alexander was ravaged with grief… there are multiple accounts of Alexander laying on top of Hephaestion’s corpse for a full day and night in tears, refusing to leave until his companions dragged him away. he didn’t eat for days. he cut his hair short and later laid the shorn locks on Hephaestion’s funeral pyre…romantic rite..he called for the manes and tails of horses to be shorn, banned the playing of music, executed Hephaestion’s doctor for not saving him, and led a campaign against a nearby tribe in order to perform executions as offerings to Hephaestion’s spirit.. he sought out to have Hephaestion be worshipped as a god and was told by an oracle he would be permitted to be revered as a divine hero. he then erected shrines in his honor. 

still don’t think alexander was head over heels for hephaestion? alexander paid a tiny humble sum for Hephaestin’s funeral, around what would be todays equivalent of 1,632,825,000 DOLLARS !!!! i could buy like 19 venti starbucks mocha choca loca ice sugar frappachinos with that god damn .. the funeral had thousands of performers and attendees present, with contests of the arts and athletics held in Hephaestions honor. Alexander even ordered that the sacred fame to be extinguished, an act reserved for the death of the king (so for him to give an honor meant for his own death to someone else is saying something bc he was so full of himself lol)

Alexander died eight months later. at the time of his death, he was still planning monuments for Hephaestion. some believe that hephaestion’s passing led to his disregard of his health, thus causing his mental and physical state to decline and leading to his own death.

whether U consider their relationship to be platonic or otherwise (its otherwise baby), its clear that they had a deep intimate bond that may have verged on codependency and obsession on alexander’s part, who seemed to see Hephaestion as both a precious and vital companion and an extension of himself, an alter ego or something, one person split in two… the idea that Alexander died bc Hephaestion’s death was beyond losing a dear freind and more akin to being without a vital organ is darkly romantic to me

First Meeting

Originally posted by acebarduil

Originally posted by leepace71

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Bold and Italicized= Khuzdul

Italicized= Elvish

Also this could be a very, in the future, spin off of this but like it could also be read as a oneshot. Whatever floats your boat.

Master Lists: Drabbles/Imagines, and Completed Series

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BNHA x The Avengers (Bakudeku + minor KiriKami and Shotoko fun)
  • Midoriya: We have orders, we should follow them.
  • Bakugou: Following's not really my style.
  • Midoriya: And you're all about style, aren't you?
  • Bakugou: Of the people in this room, which one is A: Wearing a gaudy green bunny outfit with weaponized thigh-highs and B: Not of use?
  • Everyone: -glares at Bakugou's costume with judgement-...
  • -
  • Midoriya: What I want to know is how he controlled their minds like a bunch of flying monkeys!
  • Kaminari: I do not understand.
  • Todoroki: I DO!
  • Bakugou: -rolls eyes-
  • Todoroki: I understood that reference.
  • -
  • Aizawa: We have no quarrel with your people.
  • Shigaraki: An ant has no quarrel with a boot!
  • Aizawa: You planning to step on us?
  • -
  • Tokoyami: Did I hurt anybody?
  • Shoji: No, there's nobody around here to hurt. You scared the h*ll out of some pigeons though!
  • -
  • Midoriya: I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was, I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice. You know it's really just a, just a huge honor to have you on board.
  • All Might: Well, I hope I'm the man for the job.
  • -
  • Twice: Target acquired.
  • Bakugou: -jumps on villain Twice's back, while screaming bloody murder-
  • Twice: Target angry! Target angry!
  • -
  • Tsuyu: Gentlemen, you might want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe.
  • Midoriya: Is this a submarine?
  • Bakugou: Really?! They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container?! -ship takes off into the air- Oh, no, this is MUCH worse.
  • -
  • Aizawa: Is everything a joke to you?
  • Ms.Joke: Funny things are.
  • -
  • Bakugou: What else you got?
  • Todoroki: Well, Midoriya is taking on a squadron down at Shibuya Station.
  • Bakugou: And he didn't invite me...
  • -
  • Hatsume: An intelligence agency that FEARS intelligence? Historically, not awesome.
  • -
  • Tamakawa: -as All Might, all the Pro-heros of UA and class 1-A and 1-B board the plane to fly to Tokyo- Uh... You are not authorized to be here!
  • All Might: Son... just don't.
  • -
  • Present Mic: Having trouble sleeping?
  • Aizawa: I've been asleep for 70 years. I think I've had enough rest.
  • -
  • Todoroki: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.
  • Tokoyami: It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb.
  • Midoriya: You need to step away.
  • Bakugou: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?
  • Midoriya: You know damn well why! Back off!
  • Bakugou: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.
  • -
  • All Might: You people are so petty... and tiny.
  • -
  • Ashido: Where's Tokoyami?
  • Bakugou: You mean the hawk? He's up in his nest.
  • -
  • Shigaraki: I have an army.
  • Midoriya: We have a Kacchan. -grins cutely-
  • Bakugou: DIEEEEEEE -crashes through window with explosions going off-
  • -
  • Police Council: Pro-Hero Eraser Head, the council has made a decision.
  • Aizawa: I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
  • -
  • Midoriya: Kacchan... I think now is the perfect time for you to get angry.
  • Bakugou: That's my secret, Deku. I'm always angry.
  • -
  • Midoriya: Kacchan, we need a plan of attack!
  • Bakugou: I have a plan: Attack!
  • -
  • Todoroki: Be careful what you say, he is my brother!
  • Tsuyu: -talking about Dabi (headcanon not canon)- He's killed 80 people in the last two days.
  • Todoroki: He was adopted.
  • -
  • Midoriya: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
  • Bakugou: I think I would just cut the wire.
  • Midoriya: Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.
  • Bakugou: A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Deku. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!
  • Bakugou: Put on your hero costume. Let's go a few rounds.
  • -
  • Uraraka: -via phone- Hatsume-san, we need to talk.
  • Hatsume: You have reached the life model decoy of Hatsume Mei, please leave a message.
  • Uraraka: This is urgent.
  • Hatsume: Then leave it urgently. -Uraraka then enters Hatsume's penthouse, hanging up her cellphone with Midoriya at her side-...Security breach.
  • -
  • Kirishima: -cheerfully beating up villains easily- This is just like Hosu all over again.
  • Kaminari: -electrocuting villains easily- You and I remember Hosu very differently.
  • -
  • Shigaraki: Bakugou Katsuki told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer... PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!... I won't touch Bakugou, not until I make him kill you!
  • Midoriya: -eyes wide, face turning fearful-
  • Shigaraki: -snarling- Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is MY bargain, you mewling quim!
  • Midoriya: -turns and takes a few shaky steps away-
  • Shigaraki: -smirking wickedly-
  • Midoriya: -crying intensely- You're a monster!
  • Shigaraki: -laughing- Oh no, you brought the monster.
  • Midoriya: -quickly dropping facade- So, Tokoyami... that's your play.
  • Shigaraki: ...What?
  • Midoriya: -on earphone piece communicator- Shigaraki means to unleash Dark Shadow. Keep Tokoyami in the well lit lab. I'm on my way. Send Todoroki-kun as well. -turning back to Shigaraki, wiping fake tears- Thank you... for your cooperation.
  • -
  • Ashido: What's the matter, scared of a little lightning?
  • Bakugou: I'm not overly fond of what follows...
  • Kaminari: -appears out of nowhere like the lightning god that he is-
  • Kirishima: -gets all excited like a puppy because Kaminari arrived-
  • -
  • Hatsume: What's the stat, Midoriya-kun?
  • Midoriya: -looks at all the complex technology- It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
  • Hatsume: ...well, you're not wrong.
  • -
  • Bakugou: -screams- WAKE THE FUCK UP, DEKU!!!
  • Midoriya: What. The. Hell- What just happened?! Please tell me nobody kissed me.
  • Bakugou: You fucking wish, you damn nerd.
  • Todoroki: ...We won.
  • Midoriya: Alright-Hey. Alright. Good job, guys~ Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma?
  • Bakugou: -snorts and rolls his eyes-
  • Midoriya: There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.
  • MINI-BONUS MOMENT
  • Uraraka: A big man in a suit of armor, take that away what are you?
  • Aoyama: ✨Uh Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.✨
Hey Bartender (Bucky Barnes x Plus size Reader)

Hey Bartender                                      

Summary: You thought you’d seen it all, heard it all till he walked in one warm summer night and turned your little world on its head.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus size Reader

Characters: Reader, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers,

Setting: future events

Rating: PG13

Warnings: name calling, body shaming, insecurities, language  

Word count: 1,947

Notes: Hello my sweet doves so this little one-shot is for “#Blade’s fix fest” held by the adorable @bookybuns, my prompt is “You own a bar and s/he is one of your regular patrons. Feedback is always welcome and much appreciated.

Tags: If you wish to be taken off or put on any list let me know via an ask or message.

Forever: @winters-buck @angryschnauzer @marvel-lucy @feelmyroarrrr @aquabrie @fandommaniacx @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @supernaturallymarvellous @supernaturaldean67

Marvel: @sebbytrash @ek823  @melconnor2007 @kanupps06 @badassbaker @geekyweed @creideamhgradochas

Bucky Barnes: @nerdyandproud9 @reniescarlett

Hey Bartender tags: @ggrubi @secondsandstars  @of-iron-and-ink @jasmineladjevardi @peter-pan-hoe @vintage-switch @modestlyconfused @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @ashleydivine @flerghfood

Another warm stormy night, the bar mostly empty front door opens and the most unexpected person walks through that door which seen more action than most hookers on a good Friday night after paid day. Chestnut brown hair pulled back into a small man bun, black leather jacket covering broad shoulders, fitted jeans, boots and what looks to be a dark blue Henley under the jacket round out his look but it’s his eyes that trap and hold you. Eyes that have seen more than they should have for one who appears to be so young, yet looks can always deceive.

Watching while he took a spot at the bar just looking around like he’s been here before and trying to make sure it hasn’t changed much. Your dad always kept things as they were hollerin’ about changes being for the birds or something like that. You keep wiping down the old dark stained oak bar, eyes taking in everything and nothing all at once. Always keeping watch for any trouble that thankfully rarely broke out, yet one could never be too careful.

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Art:Catalyst” by @murrchow/ @minmeiz
Fic: “Fireflight” by @the-flame-and-hawks-eye

I’m so hONORED TO BE WORKING ALONGSIDE MIN THIS YEAR GUYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. We wanted to spin in a little angst and young!Royai for this collaboration after we thought, ‘Why can’t fire be a catalyst?’ And thus this magnificent piece of art (and this fic) was born!!!


Every love story needs a catalyst of some sort - Ian Somerhalder


Riza wasn’t sure what to make of her father’s newest apprentice. Since his arrival he had kept to himself, for the most part, working diligently on whatever tasks her father gave him. She had thought it a good thing – it kept him out of her hair.

His other protégés had focused less on the work her father had given them and instead tried to build relationships with them. While she understood to some degree where they were coming from, they failed to realize that they were essentially there to learn alchemy. He, on the other hand, did try to make small talk to lessen the awkward silences that would sometimes stretch between the three of them when they were together, though it was not to the embarrassing degree that the others did.

So she found it unusual when he sat down next to her while she was sprawled out on the floor in front of the fireplace. She stopped herself from looking utterly surprised, waiting a few moments before she looked up from her book to shoot him a questioning look.

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Astro as shit Monsta X says
  • MJ: "If you cry, you get hairy ass"
  • Jinjin: "What's the biggest lie you've ever told?" "That I'm ugly"
  • Eunwoo: "I'm going to buy this tea bag that smells like feet"
  • Moonbin: "I really want that ugly hot dog"
  • Rocky: "He dances hip hop when it's sad"
  • Sanha: "You are really cute, shut your mouth!"
Poly Bowers Gang

Belch (I prefer calling him Reg or Reggie to Belch tbh)-

  • I see Reggie as more of the enforcer within their group dynamic.
  • The other guys can get kind of carried away and he’s the first to tell them to leave you the hell alone if he thinks they’re making you uncomfortable
  • After a thorough fucking he’s the one who’d gently kiss your temple and tell you how good you were
  • He always lets you sit in the front seat and glares over his shoulder at the others when they whine about it. As far as he’s concerned, it’s HIS car and you deserve the front seat, dammit. (He actually just wants to watch the sun hit your face and keep you away from Patrick)
  • The other guys give him hell because he’s so sweet on you but he just can’t help how much he adores you awe
  • The others laugh because you would never call him Belch and he blushes every time you call him Reggie
  • He’s the one you’d call after all your best friends stood you up for your girls-night-in sleepover plans. He’d hear your disappointed voice and the sniffles and sigh. He shows up at your house 20 minutes later with the fuckboy squad in toe.
  • You ask if he’d do a face mask with you and he looks panicked as fuck
  • But the second you hit him with those lovey eyes, he relents
  • The other guys sit around and snicker as you apply cerulean goo to his face but he couldn’t care less because the smile on your lips is everything to him tbh.
  • Henry tells him he’s such a girl, and Belch hits him with some “a real man would do anything to put a smile on his girl’s face” shit and Henry just slinks tf away
  • He drives you to school every day, and sometimes when your parents aren’t home, he comes in and eats breakfast with you and helps you finish getting ready.
  • He helps you pull your hair back and ties your shoes for you awawawe
  • Always opens your car door for you
  • You wear his t-shirts to school after spending the night with him and he gets all heart-eyed and thinks you look so cute.
  • He sees you in your faded jeans, with a bow in your hair, and his ratty Judas Priest shirt on and his cheeks get all hot cause he just thinks you’re the cutest.
  • For his birthday, you go to his house while he’s at work and you and his mom cook him his favorite dinner (chicken parmesan and fettucine), and you and the gang hang up a banner and surprise him.
  • You didn’t have much money so you made him a cassette mix tape and take them to the bakery on main street for cupcakes, and you all serenade him right there on the sidewalk outside the shop.
  • He tries SO HARD to keep up with your friend drama because he likes that you come to him to talk but fuck, you have so many friends. Who’s Trish?? Where tf did Emma come from? When the hell did Lisa come into the picture?
  • Takes care of you on your period like his mom told him to.

Victor 

  • Vic is the one you go to about your friend drama and knows exactly what you’re talking about.
  • “Oh my god who does Lisa think she is talking to Gemma about you like that? I’ll kick her ass idc.”
  • Says goodbye with a firm slap on the ass
  • Smiles at the tiny squeak you make every time he slaps the ass
  • Always gives you candies out of the pockets of his vest
  • He says he keeps them to put a smile on your face and you know he stole that shit
  • Loves to rest his head in your lap and let you play with his hair
  • He gets this blissed out, barely conscious look when you gently scrape your nails across his scalp
  • Stares in slack-jawed appreciation when you wear those little skirts that sway when you walk
  • When you’re having a bad day, he paints your nails
  • He notices you getting nervous and scraping the polish off and just grabs your hand away and squeezes it.
  • Smacks Patrick over the head for making lewd comments about your body in public
  • “Dude, watch your fucking mouth, she’s a lady.”
  • You have study hall together, and you sit with your Walkman cassette player in between you, listening to KISS and holding hands, and reading your English class assignments
  • KISS is so not his cup of tea but he doesn’t mind them.
  • He knows you love them so he sits put and listens anyway
  • He learns all the words to all the songs on Smashes Thrashes and Hits from how often you listen to it.
  • You two smoked weed together and the guys found you laying outside staring at the clouds together being sappy
  • But he kicked their asses for making fun of it
  • You bleach his hair for him because he tried to do it himself and got burns on his head
  • You teach him how to put coconut oil through his hair to prevent burning, damage and uneven processing
  • Henry and Patrick laugh and look on, telling him how soft it is to dye his hair.
  • You turn around and tell them how harsh and dangerous bleach can be to the body and offer to put some on THEIR heads.
  • They scurry tf away
  • He loves to watch you masturbate, and loves when you wear lingerie for them.
  • When you and your boyfriends crashed a party, they went off to torture some people but you and Vic were making out on the stairs while all the girls with crushes on him watched
  • He lowkey loves showing you off at all times
  • For Christmas you made him the coolest sneakers he ever saw
  • You bought a pair of canvas kicks from the thrift store and spent hours painting them, and he fREAKED when he saw them
  • He loves when you wear that peachy smelling lipgloss but he always ends up with shimmer all over his mouth and the guys laugh at him. Worth it tho.

Henry

  • You tell him you got your nails done and he gets this “The fuck are you tellin’ me for?” look on his face.
  • You frown. He realizes you just want him to act interested and suddenly he’s like AH YES, THE NAILS, THE FINGERNAILS YES THE NAILS ON THESE PARTICULAR FINGERS ARE LOOKING MIGHTY SPIFFY TODAY YES INDEED
  • He notices you painted them his favorite color and has to physically restrain himself from squealing like a schoolgirl because he loves that you love him lmao
  • Talks a major talk about what a ladykiller he is but the first time you take your clothes off and he sees your body in only soft lingerie he just stares in awe and appreciation
  • He thinks you don’t know (but you definitely know) he stole one of your silky pink camisoles and keeps it stuffed under his mattress.
  • He actually wasn’t being pervy, he holds it to him when he sleeps and breathes in that precious smell of delicate perfume and something distinctly you and it blisses him out no matter how stressed he is.
  • Always puts his arm around you in public or holds your hand
  • When its cold and you didn’t wear a jacket to school, he scolds you because he’s concerned for your health and comfort, and puts his jacket around your shoulders.
  • Will beat someone up just for looking at you wrong
  • Always is the guy who says he needs to “Defend your honor”
  • Its endearing but can be a bit much.
  • Always hitting Patrick for disrespecting you
  • Always being hit by Reggie for disrespecting you :^)
  • Is 90000% outraged when you confess an insecurity
  • “What on god’s green earth would you hate your tits for?! Have you fuckin seen them? Your body ‘so fine I’m havin to chase off every man in this damn town, cause they all want my girl.”
  • I think he’d be that boyfriend who if you wore a low cut shirt in public would walk around with his hand covering your cleavage cause that shits his eyes only thank you very much.
  • “Only yours?” you’d tease. “Damn straight.” he’d reply. “But what about Belch? N Pat n Vic?” you’d say, laughing. “OK, now listen here.”
  • Is totally fine sharing you but constantly refers to you as HIS girl.
  • Likes you to know who’s in charge.
  • One time you sucked his fingers clean after he fingered you and he is still recovering tbqh
  • Also one time you called him daddy in public and he came in his fccuccking pants.
  • You didn’t know what to get him for his birthday so you just had him over to spend the night and wore pretty underthings and had a night just the two of you.
  • You cut his hair. You’re always begging him to let you cut the fucking mullet off but he just won’t hear of it. He thinks he looks badass.
  • His hair is really soft tho and you put the mullet into a tiny braid and giggled endlessly.
  • He just quirked his eyebrow up at you and asked If he looked sexy.
  • Lives for validation
  • Tries to offer you aftercare but lowkey useless at it

Patrick

Patricks are the dirtiest

  • Rarely allowed to be alone with you
  • Loves to say creepy shit just to watch you squirm
  • By far the most dominant and thinks aftercare is stupid lmao
  • He likes that you somewhat want to impress him
  • JEALOUS as hell of how much Henry adores you
  • And really, how much they all adore you
  • One time he got the sense that you might actually be real
  • Which freaks him out, and he can’t shake the feeling
  • He compensates for this by going out of his way to make you uncomfortable
  • Says creepy shit in public
  • Puts his hand up your skirt at the lunch table
  • More or less only touches you because he’s allowed to
  • He likes your hands a lot, he likes holding them, he likes when you touch him with them because they’re so gentle and soft
  • Comes and visits you at night because he just likes to be near you
  • At first it was unsettling but now you’re used to it and know he won’t try anything
  • As scared as everyone already is of the whole gang,
  • They’ll never fuck with you because Patrick is too damn scary
  • You had a one-on-one night once
  • The next day, the gang came over to hang out and you had welts on your chest from where Patrick dripped candle wax on you, bloodied bite marks on your collarbones and were limping
  • Belch punched him in the fucking face
  • He knows you probably liked it but the idea of Patrick getting too carried away without anyone there to stop him worries him
  • (I honestly think he’s just always looking for reason to punch Patrick lmao. If asked why, he’d shake his head and say “that boy ain’t right” mister fuckin hank hill)
  • He likes to brush your hair which is weird to the other guys but you seem ok with it, so…
  • The first time you met his mother she was visibly shocked that someone actually wanted to spend time around him yikes lmao
  • You wear one of his rings on a necklace because it slides off your fingers
  • Gets the roughest with you during sex and the guys are always wary of the fact that you actually seem to enjoy it. 

anonymous asked:

can i have a s/o begin silly with Zenyatta, reaper, mcree using their catchphrase something like: zenyatta is kinda sad and s/o say "come here and Experience Tranquility" with open arms, the reaper s/o trying to sneak up on reaper(failing miserably) and saying "death comes" in most sweet tone, and mcree... i have no idea :D maybe the s/o answering the time saying "its high noon"?

Zenyatta


It’s not often that Zenyatta admits to being sad. Every negative emotion is carefully weighed and judged by its usefulness. Grieving for Mondatta is deemed worthy of being expressed, both to validate others’ feelings and to show respect to his old friend.

But there is no sense in being a burden to his loved ones for something as inconsequential as a moodswing, and so he pretends that nothing is amiss when he greets you and your current hosts, an omnic couple who are honored by having Zenyatta stay with them, that morning over breakfast only you are actually eating.

“These are the best pancakes I ever had.” you claim. They’re really not but your hosts have been so self conscious over their cooking you have to reassure them somehow. And really, considering they don’t need nutrients themselves they’ve not being doing that bad a job.

“We can bring the leftovers for you to ‘snack on’ later.” Zenyatta says and it’s as endearing as ever to hear him use terminology that is exclusively human. Omnics don’t snack, but he adores the concept of humans eating just for pleasure as much as you adore him sometimes losing control of his limbs when he devotes too much of his mind to his philosophising and forgets he has a physical body to maintain.

Shortly after breakfast you set out towards the local community center, to help out with whatever needs doing and forming new connections while you’re at it. Working with people is such an integral part of Zenyatta’s life you couldn’t get around it if you wanted. He talks to humans and omnics and makes no differences between the two and knows their needs like he knows his own. Better than his own even.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” you say over mid-morning pancakes, between helping a young single mother with her newborn and school children with their homework, something they’ll often not have at home.

“All is well.” he says and that’s when you know he’s upset. Usually he wouldn’t have missed the chance to make a quip about the world in general having something wrong with it.

“Spit it out.”

His shoulders sag and he gives up the pretense of happiness.

“I suffered a bad dream last night, nothing more. I do not wish to wallow in it. Or talk about it.” he adds when you open your mouth to ask about the contents of his dream.

“Fair enough.” you say, pulling out a pen from your bag and writing on the back of your hand, without letting him see.

“I guess sometimes you really just have to move on and … “ you pause for effect long enough until he knows you’re going to make a bad joke of the kind he’ll never get enough of. “… embrace tranquility.”

You show your hand, tranquility written on it, and Zenyatta laughs so hard his voicebox glitches. He hugs you, hiccuping through his giggles, bad mood all but forgotten.

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  • <p> <b>Andy:</b> Speaking of Harry, you recently spoke about the rumors that you two were, like -- there were all these weird rumors that you guys were together or lovers or something that I was always - as a gay guy I was always like -- why???... it BUGGED me for some reason [Louis laughs]. Like I didn't GET it, I was like ... were you, when that was going on, were you like, what is UP?<p/><b>Louis:</b> I mean, it was just one of those things that kind of just seemed to get bigger and bigger, um, but it's always been a kind of a confusing thing to me, 'cause, you know, I've kind of always been pretty open about me and my girlfriend [Andy: Right!]. Um, but, hey, you know, it's the...<p/><b>Andy:</b> What was the biggest conspiracy theory you heard during the day?<p/><b>Louis:</b> Oh, I mean, anything along those lines, I mean, they all think that my girlfriend's employed, these people who believe in the, yeah, in that conspiracy, yeah. That my girlfriend is employed, yeah, it's pretty crazy, right?<p/><b>Andy:</b> Wow.<p/><b>Louis:</b> Yeah.<p/><b>Andy:</b> That's nuts.<p/><b>Louis:</b> That sounds crazy, yeah.<p/><b>Andy:</b> That DOES sound crazy. You also got a new E tattoo on your left hand.<p/><b>Louis:</b> I did.<p/><b>Andy:</b> In honor of your girlfriend.<p/><b>Louis:</b> Mmm-hmm.<p/><b>Andy:</b> Which makes me feel -- oh there it is...<p/><b>Louis:</b> There it is, yeah.<p/><b>Andy:</b> Which makes me feel like... I mean... if you're gonna get a tattoo, you're getting married at some point soon.<p/><b>Louis:</b> [laughs] I mean, it's not something I've been thinking about, like, right now, I mean, eventually one day maybe, but right now we'll just stick to the tattoos on the hands.<p/></p>