and their logic is like so insane

anonymous asked:

Do EMTs, or other people working on an ambulance, go into dangerous situations? I've found conflicting reports and don't know what source is reliable. I'm inclined to believe the one that was talking about a crew's legal and financial liability if they fail to respond in a timely manner, because people are quick to yell about lawsuits.

Working in EMS is inherently dangerous. We mitigate those risks as best as we can, but it’s still a dangerous job. There are dangers like what you think of, and dangers maybe you won’t expect, so let’s talk!

First off, EMTs and paramedics are taught, from the very first moment of our training, that if the scene isn’t safe, we don’t go in. Failure to announce “scene safety” at the start of skills testing is grounds for failure. Think through the logic: if we get hurt, who’s going to treat anybody?

But we also do insanely stupid and dangerous things, like drive ambulances (which have no safety standards in the US) or get into helicopters and land them where we really shouldn’t be landing helicopters. Paramedics die en route to scenes and on the way to hospitals.


You see what that box in the back is made of? That’s wood. That’s not aluminum. That’s a goddamn wooden box going down the road at 80mph, a big target for drunks and people who blast their radios. It happens, multiple times a year. It’s just that it’s a car accident, not a shooting, so no one plasters it all over the news.

(source) This is one of the more-intact photos I could find of a medevac crash.

But we also die on scenes. When shit goes sideways, it goes fast. A drunk pulls a knife, or a gun. A patient on PCP goes out of control. A drunk district attorney walking in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge all of a sudden decides to strangle an EMT.

Now, some EMTs and paramedics are also firefighters, or work with specialty FD units like rescue companies, or work with specialty PD units like SWAT. (I think members of the NYPD’s Emergency Services Unit actually all have to be either EMTs or paramedics; I’m not sure about other agencies). Medics are also part of search-and-rescue helicopter missions, but all of these people are specially cross-trained.

Now, you talk about liability. If the scene isn’t safe for us, we can’t be expected to provide patient care, which eliminates our liability. There’s also usually institutional policies that protect the individual providers’ decisions. We’re an unarmed, typically unarmored, group. We’re not  criticized for choosing our safety over treating a patient.

Hope this helps! xoxo, Aunt Scripty


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The I'm-Finally-Back-Post aka What The Functions Are Like Actually

Ti: (ISTP and INTP) I’m convinced that half the time it works like an android, in binary code and everything, and the other half it’s like you gave a really sweet, quiet child a bunch of sugar and they just can’t stop giggling. I’m also convinced that types with high Ti know this, so instead of coming off as insanely logical or toddler-on-a-sugar-high they just shoot for the midground of pure chill. There is no-one more chill than people with high Ti. They are the chillest of the chill.

Te: (ESTJ and ENTJ) Holy crap Te is terrifying. Like, I don’t want to piss off anybody but I ESPECIALLY don’t want to piss off somebody with high Te. I think Te users are basically well-intentioned people that want the best for everyone, but they don’t really get how to be nice. They really just need a lot of hugs. Then a lot of space and a lot of minions to help them conquer the world.

Fi: (INFP and ISFP) I adore Fi users. Who doesn’t adore Fi users? They’re soft and warm and bake you cookies and share their soul with you and brutally murder you in an epic fit of passion and add you to the pile of bodies they’ve been collecting for twenty years. Basically what I’m saying here is don’t underestimate someone high in Fi just because they expect you to.

Fe: (ENFJ and ESFJ) The great (read: awful) thing about people high in Fe is that you don’t realize you’re spilling your guts to them until they are already gone. The great thing is that you have a new best friend. The awful thing is you were pretty much blackmailed. Don’t want Karen from accounting finding out about why you’re so terrified of termites? No? Best friends it is.

Si: (ISTJ and ISFJ) This is the one nobody gives much thought to because people high in Si are just so. Damn. Quiet. It takes an average of seven years to penetrate an ISxJ’s titanium exterior. Why? Because they know things. They’re like the secret service, they operate by knowing everything about you without letting you catch on to their existence. I know they seem harmless and usually they are. Just, don’t try to challenge them. Trust me on this.

Se: (ESTP and ESFP) Pure sex appeal. Nobody can convince me otherwise. There are a few telltale signs someone is high in Se that so far haven’t failed me. Your first clue is going to be the fact that no matter where they are and what they are doing they are incapable of sitting still. Then there’s the very broken filter – oh, you didn’t want to know that they really need to poop? Too late. Basically they are all permanently twelve years old, but for some reason they are also bursting with charm, charisma and way too much sex appeal.

Ni: (INTJ and INFJ) Imagine that your mind is a ball of yarn. Now imagine that that ball of yarn has been a toddler’s plaything for the past month. And imagine that it’s been in the bath three times, left in the woods twice and occasionally randomly catches on fire. That is what it is like to think with introverted intuition. Yes, people high in Ni are sensetive, self-absorbed and melodramatic. They also just found a third end in that ball of yarn they call a brain, so deal with it.

Ne: (ENTP and ENFP) Well, love it or hate it, because you don’t really have a third option. I have never met a single person in my life who has had neutral opinions towards Ne. I mean, it’s not as if – SQUIRREL! Oh speaking of mammals, have you ever felt like your mind was a swarm of bees? Yeah I feel like honey really is the way to go with sweeteners, especially with Monsanto taking over our government. By the way what’s your opinion on Bernie? I mean free college sounds great and all but have you ever tried to understand the tax system? Oh, well let me explain it to you…

anonymous asked:

INFPs have the stereotype of being really flighty and in some senses that's true (it takes me forever to make decisions and confirm plans) but I've heard some people take it further saying that we make flighty unreliable friends and that's absolute nonsense! Most of the INFPs I know are insanely loyal, almost to a fault. Like we would totally kill or die for our friends. I have no idea where people have gotten the idea that it's the opposite.

YES! 100% YES! I hate the stereotypes we get. Flighty, wish-washy, not reliable, not very bright, not realistic, always late (ok so that one is somewhat true of me, whoops!) not logical and just plain spineless I’ve also heard in my time in the MBTI community lol But I share that frustration, because when chips are down, I’m usually the ONLY friend that is right there by the person’s side because I am very dedicated to those in my life and yes loyal to my own detriment! My loyalty has caused me more pain than anything sometimes but it’s a quality I wouldn’t trade. I love the way you put it “kill or die for our friends” because I am that way. People that are worth while are worth being loyal to in my mind. But anywoos!!

As for the indecision, yes, that is true trying to pick a restaurant is like nearly impossible! lol

Anyone have anything else to add? :) 

Never underestimate white male writers fondness for absurdity. There are literally art and literature movements out there with nonsensical fuckery as a basis.

They love that. Remember the anti-climatic opening of s2 and Staying alive. Or the lack of any explanation for Sherlock successfully jumping off a roof. Or John believing Sherlock would come to his practice disguised a filthy porn loving Old man. Or more recently, Mary’s death which defies all kinds of logic.

I would not put it past them to write an entire fucked up comical trash episode for the final installment of their series. Like, this really could be their Idea of insane wish fulfillement. They told us they’d lost their minds this season so ????

nopenopenopenopenowaydude  asked:

man, the subreddit is INSANE

nah the subreddit has actually been roasting this guy cos their comment was so mad that absolutely nobody can agree with it

like. their logic in the post was “we shouldnt draw fanart of a thing for more than immediately after its been cannon or when it isnt canon >:[” and of course that includes Every Straight Ship In Homestuck so we have all put our pitchforks down and united to straight up take the piss out of a homophobe who is using a thinly veiled reason to hate a specific ship that everybody else at least tolerates

Gokuto Shinbun Translation (September 20)

(source) (raw image credit: losowecos)

< Previous Shinbun | Next Shinbun >

Time to kick these Shinbuns back in gear! The escorts find a mysterious thing in the hallway… I wonder what it could be! Like any logical thinking person, of course, they poke it. I mean, wouldn’t you poke something that was blocking the hallway too? I know I would. Anyways, if you’ve ever played with beanbags, you know better than to cut one open…

Ehem! So! I’m an amateur translator, so I apologize for mistakes I may have made.

Keep reading

In Need of Safety (Joker X Reader) Part 6

I wrote this and then I accidentally deleted it so that was super fun. I will upload the next part really quickly and I’m sorry for the lack of posts recently, and yes, I realize some of the things that happen aren’t totally logical but that’s okay :)


With every day that passed, insanity slowly swallowed your mind. It was like a drug that was injected daily into your veins. Fear never really appeared in your life anymore. No one dared to test or control you, unless it was J in the bedroom, then he called the shots.

“He always leaves me alone here, this is lame,” You complained to yourself as you lay in the apartment without J. He had given you a small black gun with “The Jokers Doll” carved into the side with a gold heart just in case something was to go wrong while he was away. He was working late again with business, but you missed him. A risky idea attacked your thoughts, why not visit him on the job? He shouldn’t mind seeing you, his girl.

After getting all dressed up in what made you feel most attractive, you got in your car and drove to the infamous club. It was very well kept, clean for what it was. The men scanned you, until they realized who you were. The Jokers girl. They saw the shiny hunk of metal that stuck out of your boot, and kept to themselves avoiding eye contact. It was so fascinating to see such tough men cower at the sight of you, danger in human form you seem to be. Criminals such as the Joker don’t date innocent women, you must be as psychotic as the man himself, capable to kill. You searched the club, finding a familiar henchman you walked to him.

“Where is he?” You smiled politely, but didn’t receive the answer you wanted.

“He’s in a business meeting, bothering him wouldn’t be a great idea miss,” he said with shaky words. You pulled the pretty little gun out from your boot and slid it across his scarred face.

“Bother? Is it that important of a meeting? That man smiles in the morning because I was with him the night before,” you winked implying the comment was sexual, continuing to play with the weapon.

“Please ma'am, I beg of you to wait, it’s not a big business deal but Mr. J likes his money,” he pleaded, knowing something you didn’t.

“Mr.J also likes sex,” you whispered, giggling in his ear. He caved, leading you to big doors labeled “The Joker” in gold, similar to your gun. You thanked the terrified man and strutted through the doors, unprepared for what was in front of you. A young girl in a tight black dress with cut outs to show her curves even more, was leaning across the table inches from J, a flirtatious smile plastered on her face. J just sat there, smirking without a care in the world. Anger spread like a wild fire, incinerating any happiness you had.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You screamed forcefully shoving the gun to the girls skull. She was now sitting, terror sank deep into her skin.

“Now, sweetheart, nothing happened here it was all business I promise, there’s no need to hurt anyone,” He laughed. Tears rolled carelessly down your cheek as a smile formed on your face. You turned the gun to J, causing him to chuckle and throw his hands up as if he were surrendering, amused by the situation. That quickly faded when you turned the gun to yourself. It was as if someone flicked a switch in your mind, and then ripped it out, causing extreme emotions and demented thoughts.

“Doll, don’t do this, c'mon nothing happened. You know I care about you, not this bitch,” he grunted and pointed at the stranger who sat frozen in fear.

“Go fuck you’re whore,” you spat, glaring at the girl, then walking out with the gun still placed at your head.

You fast-walked out of the building, receiving looks of sorrow from the people in the club you passed. The rain outside poured slightly harder than your tears, but not by much. Your makeup was everywhere, the dress you loved was ruined, and your internal feelings were burned to ashes. Sadness filled your lungs making every cry painful.
Finding a nearby bus stop, you curled up on the bench under the small shelter praying for some sort of warmth. The frigid wind mixed with the pounding rain, causing your body to shake uncontrollably, adding more pain to the situation.
The night crawled past as you huddled to yourself, soon being able to fall asleep. Time flew by sluggishly, but no sign of help was to come. You held the gun tight to your chest as if it could radiate heat.

It felt like hours that passed until a engine roared down the street you took safety on. You wanted to hide but your frozen body denied movement. The sound of the car parking and a car door swinging open rang through the air.

“My god (y/n), you had me freaking out what the hell are you doing out here?” J asked worried. He ran to you and grabbed your arm to help lift you, feeling your ice cold skin.

“(y/n) please, let’s go I’ll explain in the car, I swear I didn’t do anything with that girl, and I didn’t plan on it.” He begged, but your limp body didn’t budge.

“Doll..” He asked in almost a whisper, but still no response came from your lips. He started to shake you but nothing happened. J started to panic, even though you couldn’t move you could hear the tears that wrapped around his words. The sound of the rain washed out his voice and soon disappeared altogether. You just laid there, not caring on the outcome of this situation, waking up wasn’t a priority at this point. You felt arms wrap around you and lift, but after that everything faded to utter darkness.

  • A: why do you stay single
  • me: because
  • A: go find yourself a boyfriend
  • me: ok where
  • A: just start dating
  • me: logically speaking how should I shoot if I dont see any target to aim
  • A: you'll never know if you dont try, if you don't match just break up, that's the point of dating
  • me: so you're saying i should start shooting blindly at random people
  • me: this is a failed logic and i hate how it seems like im the insane one in this situation

I don’t have a problem with people describing the Joker/Harley relationship as abusive if they acknowledge that it’s also twisted in many other ways and neither party has clean hands. The problem comes when people use “abuse” as rationale for everything that Harley does. People rewrite everything about her character until she’s completely innocent of all wrongdoing and everything is really the Joker’s fault. That just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of her character. She’s not a hero and was never meant to be so why do people try so hard to make it seem like she’s never done anything she’s directly responsible for? Following that logic, the Joker might not be responsible for anything either since he could be either the child of an abusive father, the victim of a tragic accident, a dedicated husband turned criminally insane or anything else you want to pick from his long list of possible origin stories. These are fantastic, dynamic, interesting characters. But they’re not angels or poster children for real life situations of abuse and mental health issues.

anonymous asked:

when larries kept saying freddie looks like ann marie's kids, tom's kid, and all those other people's kids, that means that all of their kids look the same so did tom use ann marie's kid and pretend thats his own kid? vice versa? did oli and olivia have a kid, since apparently he looked like them, and just gave him to louis and briana? or any of the other parents they were suspicious of share one baby and gave him to each other to take photos? or does all this only apply to louis and briana?

That’s Larrie Logic. Sounds insane when you apply the context to other situations, huh?

In many states, you can get an easy no-fault divorce. When you got married, you didn’t know his favorite Voltron was the crappy vehicle one – you are, and will die, a lion girl. Those are irreconcilable differences, plain as day.

But not all states see that clear and indisputable logic. Their reasoning is that making it easy to get out diminishes marriage “as an institution.” So if you want out, you have to convince a judge you have a good reason. Not simply “We don’t love each other anymore” or “We grew apart” or “Seriously, his favorite pilot is Chip? Fuck Chip!” That’s not good enough.

You have to prove your spouse did something wrong, or else you’re stuck. We’re talking about stuff like abuse, infidelity, insanity, “habitual cruel and inhuman treatment,” or even “incurable impotence.” And the criteria vary from place to place. My state’s legislature recently tried to pass a bill that would make domestic violence a ground for divorce, because it somehow wasn’t already. And it failed!

6 Things Only Divorce Lawyers Know About American Marriages

  • Sty*dia Shippers: Malia pushing Stiles (when she didn't know him & was mad at him and was still full on animal instincts) is abusive!
  • Sty*dia shippers: Malia leaving a scratch on Stiles' back (on sex) is abusive.
  • Sty*dia shippers: Malia saying 'I'll kill you' to Stiles is abusive
  • Sty*dia shippers: Malia waking Stiles up with a kiss is abusive! He obviously didn't want to.
  • *Malia beats Theo's ass in a savage way*
  • Sty*dia shippers: YEEES! She likes him so much that's why she didn't kill him.
  • Me: wut?

People are joking that the Ted Cruz soup thing is yet another sign that he’s an alien.  But to me it just seems so consistent with the kinds of weird shit done by dudes who have ideologies like constitutional originalism.   If someone is really into originalism, or a flat tax, or the gold standard, or hating the federal reserve or other things that indicate they’re probably a very bright white boy who did debate in high school and wants the world to adhere to a collection of small, logical rules.  That person is also like to come up with equally logical, well-thought-out day-to-day rules that also sound batshit insane to normal people. And “I must buy 100 cans of soup to best prepare for my life as a married man” sounds like exactly the kind of rule those people would think up.  I bet if you asked Ted Cruz he would give you a step-by-step explanation of his thought process that would leave you saying, “okay, so nothing you said is technically wrong but that is not how human beings work”.  I mean the “debt free” movement that lots of different right-wing men are into (especially quiverfull people) is basically a more sophisticated version of buying 100 cans of soup for your marriage. 

Feminism Class (3)

So apparently, the English language is “phallocentric” and therefore sexist against women as it prevents them from properly expressing themselves (because the all-powerful patriarchy controls the very words they use, just like Big Brother)

Also, the pen is a phallic symbol, male writers write because it gives them a power trip that is similar to sexual domination, and the figure of the muse is sexist because even though she is the source of inspiration for the writer, she is “passive”.

The reaching was strong in this lesson.

@tuhmblr-logic, was your gender studies course this insane?

anonymous asked:

I just saw Hamlet performed for the first time. I was curious if you thought Hamlet was actually increase or if he was simply acting, if you didn't mind discussing it.

So I’m going to assume you mean ‘insane’ and not ‘increase’ here. 

Now, say it with me: It depends on the production. I have seen this played very successfully both ways. Personally I think it works best when there’s a degree of ambiguity, but I like ambiguity in all things so that may say more about me than it does about the play. Whether or not Hamlet is actually insane I think will always be up for debate, but what I think is certain is that he’s mentally unstable. He’s definitely not insane in the same way that Ophelia’s insane, but his mental seesaw is definitely not at a perfect balance. However, there is a certain kind of logic to everything he says, and his most telling moments are the soliloquies, when he’s onstage alone. Do they sound like the ramblings of a madman to you? I’ve never read them that way (but again, this is just me personally). Like Polonius says, “Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.” Is Hamlet to some degree mentally ill? I think yes. Is he ‘insane’ in the way that he pretends to be? I think no.

Let’s play a quick game. All it takes is a piece of paper, a pencil, and a handful of paper clips (or needles, or nails, anything like that).

Draw two parallel lines on the paper, approximately two paper clip lengths apart. Now go ahead and drop a handful of paper clips on the space between the lines. It doesn’t matter how many paper clips you use, but the more the better, so feel free to go hog wild.

Take the total number of paper clips, multiply it by two, then divide that number by the number of needles that are touching one of the lines. So if you drop 20 paper clips, 13 of them are laying across one of the lines, you’d divide 40 by 13. The number you wind up with will be close to pi … and if you up the number of paper clips, it will get closer and closer.

Like, sorcery close.

6 Insane True Statistics That Laugh In The Face Of Logic

i never really believed that you could make a home out of someone it just didn’t seem logical to me, but god the way you always wore your hair a little messy drove me crazy and your voice became my favorite sound to fall asleep to; suddenly this house was no longer my home, just four walls and a roof. they say that you tend to go back to who feels like home so i guess it makes sense that i painted my room your favorite color and hung up writings of all the broken promises, not that i need a reminder of you, these haunting memories are enough to drive me insane. i know it’s probably a desperate attempt, but fuck i’m just trying to recreate a home i can’t return to.
—  1229

The Escape From Monkey Island bank puzzle begins with mild insanity. You go to a prosthetic limb store and ask for free body parts. The owner immediately agrees, but you get to pick the type of prosthetic only by guessing characters’ names in his rambling story. We’re only two sentences into the puzzle, and if you’re still following along, we are legally allowed to diagnose you with dementia. Did you just blindly guess that the pirate in the owner’s story was Larry? Then you get a fake butt. It’s so, so weird. It’s like logic took a trip on the event horizon and brought some unspeakable darkness back with it.

5 Ridiculously Hard To Solve Video Game Puzzles


Okay, so, when smoakingenius aka Katie and I were working on the Season 4 Mega Theory where we basically talk about how Season 4 is going to go, covering every possible thing our brains could come up with, we encountered a question that we believed deserved a post of its own.

Now, like everything we write, this is the ball-out-of-the-park kind of crazy. Like, really really crazy and still, when I mentioned this to Katie, being the perfect soul sister that she is, she jumped and we rolled on like insane, and actually managed to get quite some logic behind this. So, consider yourself warned.

There is one BIG chance that this is completely irrational but there might be a chance this isn’t. And also keep in mind, this one is assuming everything else in the mega theory is true because this is like a part of that one. So, if you are curious and still wish to continue down this madness lane, here you go.

Isabel Rochev is Damian Darhk’s daughter.

Okay, don’t give us the wide eyes and incredulous looks yet. Read on and see why we strongly believe so.

What we know about Isabel Rochev :

We first saw her in 2x01 “City of Heroes” on the show, as the VP of Stellmore International, having an interest in the Queen Empire to, if Felicity’s words are true (which they mostly are), dismantle it.

We see her as a sharp, powerful business woman with a hostile and patronizing attitude to Oliver and a willingness to win, by her own admission.  At her young age of only 28/29, she’s managed to not only become a successful as a CEO, but she’s also garnered a reputation for hostile takeovers. That’s quite impressive.

In the first ten episodes, two things about Isabel became clear- she hated having Oliver as a partner like scum beneath her heels, and she disregarded Felicity in the same way.

Another thing that we were told about her was that she was originally Russian and she dropped her accent to meld with the society.

Over the last half of the season, her character came out and things about her are revealed.

  • She took the company right from under Oliver’s nose when he was worried about Slade and Thea.
  • She had had a serious affair with Robert Queen, Oliver’s father, so serious that they had almost run away together. But Thea being injured had stopped them and Robert shoved her out of his life after that. ( It’s also important to note that she was more than likely just 18 at the time.)
  • She knew all along about Thea being Malcolm’s child. (Robert told her?)
  • She was working with Slade Wilson, and from the way she behaved around him and the way she reacted when Sebastian Blood mentioned Shado, a woman she had not known of, it is a strong possibility that they were more than just partners, but lovers.
  • She was shot by Digg but brought back when Slade injected her with the Mirakuru.
  • And she was killed by Nyssa in the finale.

These are the things we already know because the writers have told us this.

Now, let’s get on with what Katie and I have theorized. We both strongly believe that Isabel is Damian’s daughter. To go about it, let’s look at the two obvious connections between the two - Slade Wilson and Felicity Smoak.

Isabel and Slade

To quote the Season 4 Mega Theory.

How did Slade survive the freighter and the arrow to his eye and also manage to get back to the mainland? Who rescued him? (And Jack Sparrow’s “It was turtle’s, mate” won’t cut shit here).
He came back as this man dressed to the nines, and he had an in with the Queen family as an investor for Moira Queen’s political campaign as Mayor, driving an expensive car and getting expensive Australian Rum. Also, he got Isabel Rochev to work with him. Where did he meet her, and how did they devise the plan? He was loaded with money when he came back. Where did all that money come from?
Is it possible that after losing one of his top scientists, Anthony Ivo, along with all of his work on Mirakuru, perhaps Damian sent HIVE to the Island to recover whatever they could? And what they found was Slade? Maybe Damian rehabilitated Slade with the purpose of getting the Mirakuru from his system? Funding him in his revenge on Oliver because Damian himself had a vendetta against him (more on that below) is not too improbable.

Slade getting off the island and Slade getting so much money are two plot points that the writers have never addressed and they are glaring enough that they will be. These questions have bothered us for a while and we established that Slade was being financed by Damian Darhk, who saved him from the island. Meeting Isabel could have come through Damian/ HIVE itself, because how does the VP of Stellmore even get in touch with a man dying of Mirakuru on Lian Yu?

Also, this is where Katie pointed out to me that Isabel’s alter ego in the comics, Ravager, is a contractor of HIVE.  Katie said and I quote, “Why make her Ravager when Isabel is a comic book character of her own? They made her Ravager because of her connection to HIVE.” It is also interesting to note that Slade’s wife in the comics is connected to HIVE. Could it be possible that the writers played on both by making these two lovers?

While doing our research, we also came across a lot of theories from back when Isabel was brought on the show, that she was based on Rose Wilson, the illegitimate daughter of Slade Wilson. We cut that theory for this for a few reasons.

The writers have already name dropped Slade’s son in season 1. Then why would they make Isabel his daughter, have them work closely for a year, and never mention it at all, and then why make then have the lovers (creepy as it is) vibes? It doesn’t make sense.

You know what does make sense? The writers spinning this on its head and in fact, making Isabel Damian’s illegitimate child. We all know that Season 4 deals with Russia big time. In the short number of things we know about Isabel, why include the fact that she was Russian? Only to give Isabel and Oliver something to sleep over (which we will get back to in detail)? Nah. To quote Katie, “It was a completely meaningless character trait to mention.” Unless there was some meaning to it.

Also, the writers including her going to Russia with them feels like something more than her just being a pain in the butt. There was more to it than just “what happens in Russia stays in Russia”.

Which brings us to

Isabel and Felicity

There are two instances where the writers have raised red flags connecting these two.

1. 2x06 “Keep Your Enemies Closer”

This is the episode that these guys go to Russia in order to save Lyla. it is a very Diggle-centric episode (which might be another important fact to remember for later) but there are other things happening that need to be focused upon.

Isabel and Oliver sleep together. Katie said, and I quote, “I think what some people will counter this with is that sometimes people just anger bang.” No arguments there since Oliver had trouble at this time to keep it in his pants, except this is Isabel Rochev we are talking about.

Pause and think about this. Isabel Rochev is, if anything is to be believed, first and foremost a cunning business woman. Mixing business and pleasure is something she abhors (since that is why she looks down upon Oliver’s and Felicity’s relationship, at least until this point on the show). So tell me, why would a woman so strict about this sleep with Oliver Queen, the man she had despised from day 1 and thinks is nothing but a nuisance (and don’t tell me for one second that it is because of the sexual attraction because nah).

Also bring into consideration why she would sleep with Oliver when she is supposedly in love with his father, and working with Slade to destroy Oliver’s life?

Keep this in mind.

2. 2x22 “Streets of Fire”

Isabel has been injected with Mirakuru and is holding up sword swords. Digg is on the ground. And this happens.

AND BAM! She is hit by Felicity in the van.

This was the scene that made red flags go up in my head like nothing else. Why?

By this point in the season, we know what Mirakuru does to people- it makes them fixate. We all knew that Isabel had disliked Felicity but the extent of that hatred, the intensity of that hatred became naked after she was injected with the serum. Which only implies that this had been something that had been present inside her for a very long time and she had only been suppressing it.

The writers have repeatedly told us that they regularly cut scenes in every episode due to time constraints. But they included this scene. Included this dialogue. Only to have it be cut-off mid sentence by Felicity herself. Why do that? Why include it at all only to have it cut off unless there was a point? (And yes, we know SA’s head canon is that he accidentally said Felicity’s name while screwing Isabel.)

Why does Isabel hate Felicity so much?

We believe that Felicity Smoak is Damian Darhk’s daughter (see Season 4 Mega Theory for details). We know that Isabel had a rough childhood and is originally Russian. We believe that Damian infiltrated the Bratva and has significant ties to Russia. We also believe that she met Slade through HIVE (and HIVE saved him and financed him) and the writers played upon her comic character as Ravager, a contractor of HIVE.

Damian Darhk, we believe, may have left Felicity behind but he loves her in his own way and has kept an eye on her all this time, protecting her. Isabel hates Felicity.

What if it is plain old sibling rivalry (because Damian didn’t show her that same compassion)? Seeing how much love Damian has for Felicity, a girl who doesn’t even know he exists, while she, the daughter who supports him, is sidelined might have caused this extensive hatred.

Upon meeting Slade, a man driven by his need to run Oliver to the ground, she might have seen a way of hitting two birds with one stone- destroying Oliver and Felicity, both the offspring that the men she loved chose over her.

This also puts the night she slept with Oliver in Russia under a new light. Isabel had seen the way Felicity had Oliver’s attention. Russia was her own way of claiming what was Felicity’s in her head, before Felicity could have it. Cool and calculating as she is, she did that in hopes of not only driving a wedge between Oliver and Felicity, and making her own self feel better by having Oliver (as objectifying as it sounds) before Felicity could.

Also, what was the real purpose of Isabel going to Russia? Only to sleep with Oliver to make Felicity jealous? Really? And they needed to travel all the way to Russia to do it? No. If Isabel is Damian’s daughter and thus connected to HIVE like we believe, wouldn’t showing up in the same city as Diggle- when he’s about to break into a prison where Deadshot (the only man who knows the truth about Andy’s death) was being held- be a tad suspicious? And coincidentally, this is the same exact episode when Diggle finds out that Andy wasn’t even the target…yea, just let that sink in…

Isabel suppressed her hate of Felicity from Damian (because if he is as bent on protecting Felicity as we believe, he would not have let Isabel near her) and from everyone, making it seem just as a disregard for her position as Executive Assistant and nothing more. But once injected with the Mirakuru, she was unable to hold it back any longer. She unleashed that hatred for her.

Another thing that had always bothered me was how did Slade never know about Oliver’s closeness with Felicity if Isabel saw it so clearly and was working with him? One explanation for this can be that Damian had told them Felicity was off limits. According to Sebastian Blood, the plan had been to scare the people not kill them, right until the very end when Slade defied the order. So, I am pretty sure that is what Slade did with Felicity as well. He defied the order after Isabel died.

Oh, and amidst the theme of brothers and sisters and family drama, this would fit in seamlessly. 

Oh, and Katie and I laughed like crazy thinking about Oliver doing sisters if this does happen. Imagine the shade Felicity would throw at him. Lol 

Oh, and remember who killed Isabel? It was so deliberate on the part of the writers. Nyssa. Daughter of Ra’s Al Ghul kills daughter of Damian Darhk. Yup. Let that stew in your head for a while.

So, how crazy is this?

olicityalamode geniewithwifi akahazzp sailorslayer3641 mrsd923 olicityns

Happy (late!) Birthday, @cupcakemolotov! You’re an insanely gifted writer, and a fabulous person and I am so happy that I’ve gotten to know you! 

She requested hybrid!Klaus but otherwise left it open so I ran with an idea that’s been brewing since The Trinity was introduced on TO. Because logically one would not just wake up and plot to take out Klaus, right? It would take awhile to put a plan in place.

Fun fact: often on Skype one of us will be like, “WHY AM I WRITING SO MANY WORDS?! WHAT EVEN IS A DRABBLE?!” and the other immediately shifts into enabling mode. It’s totally our thing. So it’s fitting that this fic spiralled so hard (58K when all was said and done!). I haven’t divided it yet but it’ll probably be like 8 parts? So yay, regular updates!

Big thanks to @thetourguidebarbie for all her prereading and handholding and @justanotherfiveminutes for betaing the monster without complaint.

Warnings (to be safe): Mind manipulation.

Whisper To Me, Help Me Remember

It’s impossible to accurately gauge the passage of time. At least in any traditional way. Klaus quickly comes to berate himself for his reliance on modern conveniences.

He’s at a disadvantage to begin with, has no idea how much time has passed between the time he’d fallen and the time he’d come to, strapped to a table with a needle in his arm. Hundreds of vampires and dozens of witches had stormed the New Orleans compound, rudely interrupting brunch. Klaus and his siblings had put up a grand fight, but it hadn’t been enough. By the end the floors had been slick with blood, limbs strewn about, the building partially demolished.

But one by one they’d fallen.

Kol first – he’d never quite learned caution and his recent resurrection led to him thinking himself invincible.  A group of opponents had snuck up on him from behind. He’d fallen face forward, stiff and grey. Not exactly sporting but Klaus had expected nothing less from Tristan de Martel. Klaus had roared his rage, beheaded two attackers with a single slash of his arm. But he hadn’t been able to save the others either. Elijah went down last, his face etched in mournful agony, eyes clouding over when the dagger dug into his heart.

The last thing Klaus had seen was Tristan’s face. He’d looked astonishingly pleased with himself as he’d stood over Klaus, his fingers running reverently over a dagger. He’d leaned in, pressed the tip of it to Klaus’ chest, between the lengths of spelled chain that kept him down. He dug in the slightest bit and twisted. Blood dampened his shirt but Klaus had refused to react to the pain. He’d stared past Tristan, memorized the faces of those that still lived.

“It took me sixty years, Klaus,” Tristan confided, his tone jovial. As if he expected Klaus to find his plotting impressive. “Sixty years, hundreds of leads, meetings with witches on every continent. All to make this splendid set of daggers. To make certain that they’d work on you. That there would be no consequence of my wielding them.”

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