and the way you're eating

anonymous asked:

headcannons to the boys reaction if gardienne gets hurt in battle?

hellowwwwww everyone!

How have you been? I just made my last exam today and I’m finally free.
I’m a bit bitter because I am so distracted but anyways…
Also, I’m super hungry… and I’m tooooooooo lazy to get food. What should IIIII DOOOOO!

I’ll make a “solo” post about this, but how the fucking hell do y’all do your MCL and Eldarya’s profiles sooooooo pretty and “"goals””?? IM JELLY BABYY!!

When I re-read (idk if that’s a word but ok) what I wrote I notice I made a lot of mistakes :P I’m so sorry, sometimes I type too fast I don’t notice my damn errors. I’ll fix them all later because I hate orthographic errors or gramatical errors.

Anyways, this has been WAY TOO LONG on my ask box.
I’m so sorry for being a lazy ass, please love me.

Hope you like it ;))

Nevra:

  • We all headcanon Nevra as a mother, so you know how much worried he would be when he enters the infirmary.
  • He would ask a lot of questions too while analysing you.
  • Nevra wouldn’t be all freaky touching you all over the place and shaking you.
  • He would observe you and ask you questions, you can tell he’s worried as I meantioned previously.
  • He would be mad too. You were his friend/lover (as you wish) and he should be able to protect you when you can’t really do it.
  • If you were hurt in a battle against an enemy, he would probably suggest to kill them.
  • He would keep an eye on you for a long time to make sure you were treating yourself.
  • Résumé: He would be really worried and sad he couldn’t help, because he likes you a lot as a lover or as a friend.

Ezarel:

  • Ezarel would be a bit worried but not too much.
  • At least that’s what he says to himself lol.
  • But no, I’m serious… When he heard you really got hurt in a battle agains an enemy he would be soooooo worried but when he gets to the infirmary and sees that you’re fine and awake he gets less worried.
  • Will probably make sure you’re eating well, drinking water, taking medicine and will take you to the infirmary to treat your wounds/injuries.
  • He will be less extreme with you and be slightly more patient.
  • Basically he would worry about you, keep an eye on you and, of course, suggests to kidnap one of the enemies, cover him in honey and leave him in the forest so he can be eaten by insects and animals…ha ha ha :))) :))))
  • Would then say that it would be a waste of honey. Which makes you laugh.

Valkyon:

  • Valk believes that getting hurt in battles makes you stronger and wiser in the future, so at first, he’s not really worried.
  • But when he sees all your wounds and bruises he gets more worried.
  • THEN HE KNOWS THAT YOU FOUGHT ALONE…
  • Get ready gurl, he’s gonna give you the talk of your life.
  • Which you think is kinda cute and you’re amazed because he’s so caring. aw aw aw
  • He probably teaches you some more ways to defend yourself when you get better.
  • Doesn’t suggest anything besides a normal confrontation with the enemies.
  • Will keep an eye on you, to make sure you’re doing fine and not being a trouble to his heart and to yourself.
  • 2p Canada: *eating meat*
  • 2p America: You're killing the animals!
  • 2p Canada: Yeah, but then I'm going to the bathroom, and my crap is what will make the vegetables you eat grow up. So in the end, you're also eating this meat, only ia a way that is more disgusting.
  • 2p America: ..........
  • 2p Canada: Dad, I think I broke Allen again.

My latest resolution has been to start commenting on fics more because I am REALLY TERRIBLE about this. I usually have an inner monologue of “Oh, nobody cares what I have to say. This author definitely doesn’t. And they might even find me annoying or they’ve seen me around fandom and they don’t like me (for whatever obscure reason I’ve dredged up from my low self-esteem). And look, this fic was written like five years ago they’re going to think I’m a total loser for spending so much time reading fic I’ve found one from that long ago. Nah, better to just hit ‘like’ or ‘kudos’ and say nothing.”

I love getting comments of course, but I have a weird thing or habit or whatever of thinking that I am somehow different from everyone else and my feelings aren’t the feelings that everyone else feels. Like I get obsessed with a show or character and an inner voice whispers about what a loser I am and how unhealthy it is to like something so much, no one else gets this invested in a show about a nasal-voiced woman taking care of three rich kids and having hilarious shenanigans. Seriously, weirdo get a grip on yourself. Go do things normal people do.

Anyway. Commenting more. That’s going to be my new thing.

anonymous asked:

I remember when Harry had no bum and now he's got buns Hun lol

lmfao started from the bottom

now we’re here

boy what those ‘leg work outs ;)’ can do eh

How To Eat Steak

~ by Yami Bakura


Step One: STAB

Drive your fork into its unwilling flesh as though sinking a sharp blade into the flesh of the Pharaoh, or burying his lifeless and defiled corpse in the muds of hell itself.


Step Two: INTIMIDATE

Glare at your food. It doesn’t matter with steak, but if you get out of the habit of glaring at anything you stab, or anything you intend to sink your teeth into, what the fuck are you even playing at?


Step Three: UNHINGE JAW, EXTEND FANGS

Should be obvious.


Step Four: REND

TEAR THE FLESH WITH YOUR TEETH! USE THE VIOLENCE OF YOUR MOTIONS AND THE CLENCHED MUSCLES OF YOUR BITE TO RIP FLESH ASUNDER! SPLATTER THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR SAVAGERY ACROSS THE WALLS IN BLOOD AND THE JUICES OF DEAD FLESH!


Step Five: SAVOUR

Enjoy the rich flavours and aromas. Take a moment to sit with them.


Step Six: CRITIQUE

Fill out a comment card, if there is one. Use blood instead of ink. Never trust Kaiba’s fucking so-called head chef with an order for rare steak again. Bastards.

#258

“Sorry, I’ve been really busy lately”

as the inbox contracts and bloats // as the phone blinks and winks and dies // as the seasons tumble past // as the windows forget their function // as the fridge loses control over the dividing milk, the perspirating cheese, the mulching vegetables // as the bread envies and hardens // as the dust reclaims the earth // as the skin turns to wax // as the hair invests in grease farming 

sorry I’ve been busy // busy sitting and staring // busy forming this bed into a jagged cave // busy blinking, busy blinking // busy watching the incoming calls as foreign dialect // busy quaking from the knocked-upon doors // busy drifting in and out of intermittent static // busy in nothing, for nothing, with nothing 

I stand beneath the shower // and only after four minutes is this loaned body returned to me, with late fees and fresh cuts // fuck, who forgets to get undressed // who forgets themselves in the mirror // whose hair reclaims sudden identity // who limps from bed sores these days // who neglects the fresh air, the timid sunshine, the blinking stars 

sorry I’ve been busy // busy dehumanising, denaturing, unravelling at the seams // busy with this dead weight pressing down on my chest // busy forgetting the basic nature of food and sleep // busy painting myself in television static, distant white noise, background radiation // busy turning grey // busy detuning // busy in nothing, for nothing, with nothing

“I’ll get back to you soon, with the same old excuses”

4

I’m really trying to get over this art slump, drew some TAU today to try and help me through. Get into the drawing mode and whatnot. 

I dunno. :V

dear evan hansen characters as things my friends have said
  • Evan: I'm second-hand shook
  • Connor: I'm wearing these (sun)glasses so that no one can tell I'm dead inside
  • Jared: I love being cool and hip with the children!
  • Zoe: Girl same I'd rather not be in 19th position with syncopated 32nd notes thank you very much
  • Alana: This isn't AP Joke Telling! It's AP Humor!
  • Heidi: Make (Evan) get a friend!
  • Cynthia: Silver Spork School, much like the Silver Fork School but way more efficient at eating soup.
  • Larry: You're a bonus giver, not a back talker! Don't sass me!
  • me @ myself when i catch her about to rant on tumblr abt how depressed she is: ok we get it ebony dark'ness dementia raven way. you're sad. you wanna die. eat a fucking pretzel or something and shut the fuck up
  • my eating disorder: you look so fat what are you doing you're disgusting stop fucking eating
  • my anxiety: you're way too skinny to ever be pretty for someone to even look at! eat more! exercise twice a day every day!
  • my depression: lmao why be either of those like,.,,,,, u wanna die anyways cause ur never gonna b good enough lol
  • me, trying to choose jeans to wear today: do you guys ever like.. sleep
Short Amounts of Time
  • 5 minutes: can't do Shit my dude
  • 10 minutes: Nah
  • 15 minutes: ok, like. one thing
  • 30 minutes: one thing but you can actually Do it
  • 45 minutes: you're early but you also can't go anywhere to pass the time
  • 1 hour: you're way early but there's not enough time to eat first
  • 2 hours: you got time to eat but you can't go anywhere
  • 3 hours: alright you're pretty damn early but by the time you get anywhere it's time to go back
  • 4 hours: enough time to go somewhere for a bit
  • 5 hours: enough time to go somewhere and actually do something while you're there
  • 6 hours: why are you this fuckin early My Dude holy shit

anonymous asked:

Could I get a little scenario of Joshua or Woozi you can choose when you're eating a magnum ice cream but he gets kind of aroused by the suggestive way you're eating it ;j thanks anyways I absolutely love your blog!! <3

Decided to do Joshua because…there’s a lot of Woozi hehe! Hopefully this is okay, I had a hard time deciding how far to take this but ;) Thank you!


Joshua raised his eyes from the depths of his book for the third time, just to look at you, eating your ice cream and browsing the internet. A while ago, you had come back from the convenience store and because of your craving for chocolate and ice cream, you had bought yourself a magnum ice cream.

To Joshua, it didn’t really matter what ice cream you were eating though, because either way, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of your lips and your tongue, occasionally sliding across the cold ice cream. He didn’t want to look, therefore he only took small glances in your general direction but he faced the dilemma of not wanting to take his eyes off of you either.

His eyes lingered on your mouth as he noticed how lightly you sucked on the ice cream, partly melting it and then licking the melted chocolate and ice cream with your tongue. You were oblivious as you kept scrolling through some news website, whereas he was starting to get more and more hot and bothered.

He swallowed hard and yanked his eyes away from you in embarrassment at how much you were arousing him.

”Joshua” you called him, gulping down the melted ice cream, facing him. He didn’t say anything but just lifted his head up and smiled, which if you didn’t know him, would’ve been completely normal. But this time, his ears were burning red and his eyes clearly avoided looking anywhere but your eyes.

“Ah, actually nevermind, but why are you so quiet?” You decided to ask instead of asking why he was visibly blushing, although you had a good guess why he was being like this. You just needed some confirmation of that before making any novel moves.

“No reason sweetheart” he answered, smiling again, returning to his book.

”You sure? Your ears are red” you pointed out, laughing a little and taking another bite of the ice cream before it would completely melt. If you would’ve kept your eyes on him you would’ve seen him cover his lap with the book he was trying to read.

”Y/N, honey, please, just…eat your ice cream before…it melts completely” he tried to convince you.

”Oh, okay” you said, smirking at his dumbfounded and confused state. Your eyes landed on the book on his lap which rang a bell for you which then again, almost caused you to choke on your last bits of ice cream you had in your mouth.

The thought of him growing hard because you were just eating ice cream was funny at first but the more you thought about it, the dirtier the images in your mind got. To think that your Joshua, your sweet and somewhat innocent boyfriend, had dirty thoughts of you in his mind, didn’t help you either.

At first, you felt bad for distracting him by just eating ice cream without any other thoughts but when you swallowed the last drop of your ice cream and carefully licked the wooden stick clean, something just felt right.

”Do you need help with that?” you asked him, closing your laptop and putting it to the side so you could straighten yourself on the couch, making sure to lick your lips. Firstly, to make sure you didn’t have any ice cream around your mouth and secondly, to tease him a little more, now that you had started.

He gulped and looked down at the book that was covering his growing bulge. He didn’t want to seem like he was completely under your spell but he couldn’t help but letting out a small groan when he saw you lick your lips.

”If you wouldn’t mind” he said as quietly as he could, eyes still sweet but that was about the only thing about him that didn’t scream ’just come to me already’.

”Of course I wouldn’t” you said, smiling back at him and getting up from the sofa. Joshua eyed you up and down when you got up from the couch and took a few steps to meet him sitting on his big comfy chair.

”I think we need to buy ice cream more often” you commented, placing your hands on his knees and slowly getting down on your knees in front of him. ”I love you so much” Joshua whispered, hands wandering from the arms of the chair to his hair and from there to finally hold your hair.

You took the book away from his lap and smiled, ”I love you too.“


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