and the walking cane

I want to see Greek gods in the modern era.

I want to see Zeus in a tailored suit and shaggy beard, a walking disparity of the loud, brash, post-graduate frat boy variety who can’t pass a woman on the street without catcalls, who has more one-night stands than he could possibly keep in his head, for whom adultery comes as naturally as the weather he predicts on the Channel 4 News—with startlingly accuracy, and an endless wealth of charisma.

I want to see Hera walking tall, six-inch heels and not a wrinkle in her skirt, knowing her boyfriend is cheating, and knowing with equal certainty that she is better, stronger, fiercer than he will ever be, a wedding planner with an eye of steel, spotting vulnerability, slicing it open, teaching every woman who crosses her path to value themselves over any mistake made in the name of men and love.

I want to see Poseidon in Olympic prime, a gym rat who skives off class to shatter backstroke records, who spends his summers lifeguarding at the city pool, who keeps an ever-expanding aquarium in his bedroom and coaxes all the pretty girls up to visit his fish, his charm as impressive as the earth-rending temper he generally uses to fuel his competitive nature.

I want to see Hades, big, hulking, quieter than his brothers would ever think to be, who dresses in neat dark clothes, and polishes his boots, and spends more time reading than fighting, who debates eventuality and ethics, who stoically reminds everyone how enormous, how terrifying, how inescapable a thing like silent inevitability can be.

I want to see Hermes in a beanie, with watercolor splashes of tattoo crawling up his arms and holes in his Chucks, a bike messenger with no helmet, no regard for the rules of the road, all cataclysmic laughter, lock-pick tricks passed along to every kid who thinks to ask, thumbing through his iPhone without a care in the world.

I want to see Athena with reading glasses pushed high on her head, six books in her bag and a switchblade in her back pocket, her clothing as neatly ordered as her mind is feverish, brilliance and temper clashing and blending, doing her best to look dignified—even when her brain chemistry rockets ahead of her well-intentioned plans.

I want to see Apollo splattered with acrylics, board shorts and Monster headphones and a beautiful classic car, busking on street corners, not because he has no choice, but because the sunlight catching on a sticker-patterned acoustic is summer incarnate, because music is blood, because the act of creation is the ultimate in sublime.

I want to see Artemis in ripped jeans and haphazard topknot, star of the soccer team, the track team, the archery team, who rides a motorcycle, and keeps a tribe of girls around her at all times, and does not care for men, for expectation, for anything but volunteer hours down at the local animal shelter and falling asleep under the stars.

I want to see Aphrodite in sundress and scarf, homemade jewelry and lavish amounts of bright red lipstick, who is excellent at public speaking, at theater auditions, at soothing bruised egos and sparking epic fights, who kisses as easily as she breathes and scrawls poetry onto bathroom stalls.

I want to see Ares all but living in the boxing ring, cutoff shirts and sweats, red-faced under a crew cut as he punches, punches, punches until the noise in his head dims, a warrior with no war, all crude jokes and blind fury, totally incapable of understanding what it is to sit, think, plan before running screaming into the fray.

I want to see Demeter with the best garden you’ve seen in your life, with a lawn care business she runs out of her garage, a teenage prodigy grown into a joint-custody single mother, who teaches her carefree daughter all she knows while scaring off the hopeful neighborhood boys with the pet python draped across her shoulders.

I want to see Dionysus with a joint in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, baggy hoodies and three-week-old jeans, who brews his own beer in his basement and greets all visitors with a fresh pack of Oreos and half-stoned theories of the universe, of birth and death and partying mid-week, because why not, man?

I want to see Hephaestus with a workshop taking up the majority of his house, whose kitchen is overrun with blowtorches, whose bathrooms are home to all manner of hodge-podge invention, who walks with a cane and forgets his laundry for weeks at a time, and strings together the most beautiful steampunk costumes at any convention at the drop of a hat.

I want to see wood nymphs fighting against climate change, waving their signs and pushing for scientific progress. I want to see epic heroes sitting down to Magic: The Gathering tournaments, poker brawls, Call of Duty all-nighters with beer and snapbacks. I want to see Medusa working a women’s shelter, want to see Achilles training for deployment, want to see Prometheus serving endless community service stints for what he calls providing necessary welfare with stolen goods.

Give me modern mythology. I could play for hours in that sandbox.

PLEASE READ THIS AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life.

anonymous asked:

letterboxd is asking its community for their lists of most remarkable feature debuts. so what is your top 10 most remarkable debuts from women directors?

SUPER FUN QUESTION.

Also I feel like I could give like 10 answers from last year alone but I’ll try to contain myself. (J/K I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF, GET READY FOR THE NOVEL!)

Clip dir. Maja Milos (2012)
Imagine a more brutal version of Thirteen set in the social media era in Serbia and you have Clip, a brutal movie about a 14 year old girl who engages in a highly sexualized and often violent relationship with one of her classmates. It’s a shocking watch especially because Milos doesn’t try to protect her lead character (played by an actual 14 year old) at all and doesn’t shield her (or the audience) from the sado-masochistic behaviour she engages in in order to get attention and feel love.

My Brilliant Career dir. Gillian Armstrong (1979)
So this is like the stereotypical period piece about a plucky young woman discovering herself only it’s SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. A really beautiful and quietly subversive period piece that is so visually stunning and self-assured that it doesn’t feel like a first film at all. A must see.

Titus dir. Julie Taymor (1999)
When people say that a movie is like a theatre piece they usually mean it as an insult but Titus applies the “anything goes” spirit of theatre in the most fun and flamboyant way. This is a really bombastic, unforgettable visual adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays. Taymor mixes genres, time periods and references in a way that is intensely fresh and unique.  

Fill the Void dir. Rama Burshstein (2012)
This is a romantic drama about a young Israeli woman who is part of an Orthodox Jewish community who, after her sister dies, is prompted to consider marrying her sister’s widower so that he can remain in the family. Despite the icky sounding premise Burshtein (herself an Orthodox Jew) is intensely sympathetic to her characters and shows a total command of her camera and the tone of the movie which is just beautiful, passionate and romantic.

The Connection dir. Shirley Clarke (1961)
This is a bit of a cheat because Shirley Clarke had directed documentaries before but whatever. The Connection takes place in real time and is about a very square documentarian who is filming a movie about a bunch of jazz musicians waiting around for their drug connection so they can get high. It definitely feels very tame for the current day but considering the film takes place in a single room Clarke packs the movie full of electric energy that makes it incredibly pleasurable to watch.

The Fits dir. Anna Rose Holmer (2015)
This is just an incredible majestic film. Very spare, very artistic, very beautiful. Holmer is a genius and the movie is a gift. She does more on a budget of 150, 000 euros or whatever it was, than most directors do with millions.

Songs My Brothers Taught Me dir. Chloé Zhao (2015)
There is a whole cottage industry of low budget filmmakers who think they can be the next Malick, but I think Zhao is the only one who really gets it right. This film is set in on the Pine Ridge reservation and Zhao shoots everything at the golden hour making it look incredibly lush while never shying away from the roughness and occasional boredom of small town life.

The Governess dir. Sandra Goldbacher (1998)
I have literally no idea why this film isn’t bigger than it is and it’s really due for a critical revival. It’s a neo-victorian original tale about a young Sephardic Jewish woman who hides her identity and goes to work as a governess on the Isle of Skye. Unfortunately the only copies I’ve been able to view are of very poor quality but you can still see how beautiful it must have originally been. Also the story is incredibly rich and textured and deals with power dynamics between men and women, Jews and gentiles, science vs. art etc.  

The Babadook dir. Jennifer Kent (2014)
This is a horror movie for people who aren’t really into horror and as such it’s PERFECT. What it really is more than anything is a dark modern day fairy tale about a recently widowed woman who is having a tough time adjusting to life as a single mother to her child who is genuinely the most annoying child to ever grace the screen (really, kudos to casting, you completely understand why this woman would struggle to raise this kid).

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night dir. Ana Lily Amirpour (2014)
So good. A surprisingly wistful and romantic vampire film in which “the girl” (the vampire) skateboards in a chador, dances alone in her room, befriends a cat, and drinks the blood of a LOT of people. It’s great.

Honourable mentions: La Pointe Courte, Children of a Lesser God, The Edge of Seventeen, Sugar Cane Alley, Smithereens, Eve’s Bayou, I Like It Like That, Hester Street, A New Leaf, Chocolat.

1,500 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

This is absolutely insane I am just blown away that this many people follow me and my weirdness…


Storms and Visitors
Sirius Black x Reader
by @notanotherausten
“Regulus invites you at his house to stay for the night until the storm stops but Sirius has other plans.”

Strip
Sirius Black x Reader
by @blueelf
“You agree to help Sirius study for his OWL’s, however what you failed to realize that tutoring the marauder was like babysitting. After various failed attempts, you finally find a way to keep Sirius somewhat focused and, interested.”

Frosting and Crushes
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @inkstainedfanfics
“Newt has been distant the past week, focusing only on Tina and their work. You try to strike up conversation with him at dinner, but, after many failed attempts, grow irritated and leave early. Queenie decides to take matters into her own hands.”

Body Heat
Sirius Black x Reader
by @wizardwritings
Reader is the younger sister of James and is in a relationship with Sirius.

Painkiller
Sirius Black x Reader
by @deerprongs
Lilly gives Reader a potion to help her with her headache but ends up adding putting too much of an ingredient in that makes Reader loopy and giggly. Completed Series

Air B&E
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avengerofyourheart
“When a mission requires close proximity with your least favorite teammate, you try to make the best of it, but a change in plans adds new challenges and possibly a new opportunity.”

Lost My Way
Tom Holland x Reader
by @intheheartoftomholland
“Famous actor Tom Holland has been in the film industry for years now after making it big as Spiderman and he loses himself along the way.”

Being Pregnant With Steve Rogers’ Baby
Steve Rogers x Reader
by @fvckingsteverogers
Basically an imagine…

The Bunkhouse
Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes
by @angryschnauzer
“Bucky is backpacking through the Canadian Rockies when he decides to stay at a bunkhouse for the night. The only other guest is a loud and arrogant stranger by the name of Steve that does nothing except boast about his bravado and prowess. Its time for someone to take him down a peg or two.”

Incubus
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @after-avenging-hours
Basically sex demon Bucky begin a sex god.

Don’t Be Ashamed
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @fantasticnewtimagines
Handicapped!Reader requires a cane to walk around and Newt is a sweetheart about it.

Urgent Care
Avengers x Reader
by @arrow-guy
Reader brings Peggy to help diffuse the Civil War between Steve and Tony. Completed Series

Naked
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @marvelous-fvcks
“You accidentally walk in on Bucky as he gets ready for his date - completely naked - and your natural awkwardness only causes things to go from bad to worse. In an attempt to resolve the situation you get some of the worst advice from some of your friends who are no help whatsoever”

A Personal Connection
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @sebastianstandoffish
“Bucky may or may not have a crush on Steve’s PA.”

The Voice Inside My Head
Deadpool x Reader
by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
I don’t really know how to summarize this one, just read it, trust me.

You Should Be Here
Dean Winchester x Daughter!Reader, Sam Winchester x Niece!Reader
by @winchesters-favorite-girl
“Dean took Amara down with the spirit bomb they made, leaving Sam to raise Dean’s young daughter.”

What’s Between Us
Steve Rogers x Reader
by @bovaria
“Reader breaks her arm during a mission so she has to stay in the tower to heal. After a while she gets really bored and glum so Steve takes her out to cheer her up.”

The Past On Your Doorstep
Dean Winchester x Reader
by @atwistoffate
“After more than 4 years Dean knocks on your door, surprising the hell out of you. Then it’s his turn to be surprised when he sees a little girl standing next to you.”

Fire And Ice
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @beccaanne814-blog
Bucky has a crush on the Reader who is a nurse for the military.

Going To The Yule Ball With Sirius
Sirius Black x Reader
by @blueelf
An imagine of what would happen if Reader were to go with Sirius to the Yule Ball.

Study Hard
Sirius Black x Reader
by @notanotherausten
“Reader has been studying for hours and Sirius forces her to take a break.”

Newt Scamander Smut
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @13reasonswhyiblog
“You and Newt had met at Hogwarts, and had both left a while ago, Newt left before you due to being expelled. But Professor Dumbledore had asked you both to return and fill temporary positions. You were going to teach DADA, and Newt, quite obviously was teaching Care of Magical Creatures”

The Smallest Moment Makes The Biggest Difference
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @captainhopelessromantik-808
Reader works at the ministry with Newt and he asks her out on a date.

Skewered
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avengemebuckyy
“You’re a doctor for the avengers and when Bucky comes in with a hunk of metal in his side you find that it’s not his injury that’s making you sweat.”

You Good?
Sam Wilson x Reader
by @marvelfic
“Reader works for Shield, more as a backup agent with the computers. She’s shy, but has a kind personality. She meets Sam one day buy getting shot at an attack on the Shield base and he helps her get away safely. Later they become friends and one day while running together she gets flustered by him and runs faster to hide her face but it causes her to loose her breath and when he catches up, she admits she likes him.”

Hazelnut and Hurricanes
Sam Wilson x Reader
by @marvelfic
“Sam finds you in a busy coffee shop and can’t keep is eyes off of you. After buying you a coffee he insists on taking you on a date. You finally agree, but will the awful weather ruin the night?” Completed Series

Bucky’s Baby
Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader
by @lancefuckrr *On AO3*
“Down on your luck, you meet a man named Bucky - a handsome and wealthy businessman - who changes your life completely.”

Soothing
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @omg-imatotalmess
Reader helps Newt deal and tame his beasts.

Rescue
Avengers x Reader
by @theliteratureloser
“Reader is getting a tour of her new job at the Avengers tower, but happens to be the only one who notices an oncoming jet, about to crash into the building.” Ongoing Series

Modern Times
Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers (Platonic)
by @itsanerdlife
“Reader whose a none romantic and doesn’t believe in relationships trying to explain her lifestyle to the Avengers Team, specifically the two men from the 40′s who don’t understand as she teases them.”

Drunk Love
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @winter-childrens
“Bucky is drunk and is very sweet and cute.”

The Perfect Prom
Peter Parker x Reader
by @icat8
“Prom has been more of a nightmare than the dream you hoped it would be. Thankfully, you have a friend like Peter.” Completed Series

My Fake Boyfriend
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @supersoldierslover
“After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.” Ongoing Series

My Hot Nerd
Peter Parker x Reader
by @ships4you
Peter comes back from his nightly shenanigans and finds his girlfriend waiting for him in his bedroom.

Arsonist’s Lullaby
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @soldatbarnes
“Reader is a pyrokinetic, being sought after by both Hydra and the Avengers.” Ongoing Series

This Is War
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @soldatbarnes
“jealous!bucky where he tries to outdo the guy in everything and its just ridiculous and funny.” Ongoing Series

The Only Exception
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @just-some-drabbles
“Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?” Ongoing Series

The Friendly Wager
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @just-some-drabbles
“Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?” Ongoing Series

Guys My Age
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @221bshrlocked
“You’re playing truth or dare with the Avengers when Nat asks you when the last time you got laid was  and Sam dares you to pick a song that perfectly grasps why you haven’t had sex in so long.” Ongoing Series

Cursebreaker
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @azurakenway
Newt gets turned into a beast and needs Reader to kiss him in order to turn back into a human.

Weak When You’re Around
Sirius Black x Reader
by @lovelysiriuss
“In which Sirius realizes he feels weak when he’s around her, but not knowing what to do about it.”

Untouched
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avasparks
“The whole team is surprised to find out you’re still a virgin, and the news seems to make you more allegeable to some of the men around the compound. Bucky is no less surprised than the rest of the team, and finds it even harder to keep his eyes off you as he nurses a secret of his own, which he feels obliged to reveal to you after an incident in the training room.”

What Passengers Do In Private
Sirius Black x Reader
by @azurakenway
Sirius gets a little possessive on the train to Hogwarts when another guy flirts with you.

Nightfall
Sirius Black x Reader
by @h4rtache
“Gryffindor reader is feeling nervous about graduating when Young!Sirius comes to console her.“

My Girl
Sirius Black x Reader
by @wizardwritings
Reader and Sirius spend a cold night in Hogsmeade.

Fat Bottomed Omega
Dean Winchester x Reader
by @melonshino
*A/B/O Universe* SMUT SMUT SMUT

Golden Desire
Sebastian Stan x Reader
by @sebuckyverse
“Watching Sebastian work on the set of ‘The Bronze’ is giving you a hard time.“

Let’s Pretend
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @papi-chulo-bucky
“Tony finds a website of two shape shifting mutant pornstars who make their living impersonating the Avengers on their website and decide to show the team.“ Completed Series

Comfortable
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @oneshot-shit
“Bucky being annoying can lead to fun times.“

My Beautiful Boy
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @timeforsmut
Submissive Bucky smut

The Elevator
Jensen Ackles x Reader
by @melissaj616
Elevator smut with Jensen

modern soc au

inej: 

  • loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 
  • likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 
  • has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 
  • is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock
  • usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 
  • is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 
  • loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 
  • likes to read poem books 
  • has a black cat as a pet named “saint" 
  • pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 
  • only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 
  • cried the most during fox and the hound 
  • always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well
  • "I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 
  •  the best one at pushing people on the swings 
  • AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 
  • "sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 
  • gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 
  • the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 
  • Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

  • bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 
  • loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 
  • MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 
  • is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 
  • loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 
  • constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)
  • looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 
  • V neck sweaters. always
  • always has his trusty satchel
  • only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 
  • ”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 
  • cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 
  • secretly a huge fan of memes 
  • really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 
  • gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 
  • cried the most during big hero six 
  • wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

  • sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)
  • played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 
  • dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 
  • “long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 
  • really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 
  • kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 
  • a good™
  • "you’re all horrible trash”
  • “do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 
  • loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 
  • grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 
  • wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 
  • oblivious to all the women in love with him
  • "CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 
  • real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒
  • has Facebook and Twitter only
  • cried the most during bambi and dumbo 
  • little spoon™ 
  • has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

  • dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 
  • loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 
  • sometimes djs parties 
  • again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 
  • loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 
  • dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 
  • favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 
  • cried the most during the lion king 
  • A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 
  • big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 
  • that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 
  • skateboard pro™ 
  • always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 
  • all the social medias. 
  • one tattoo only of a gun with a ‘bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

  •  PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 
  • Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 
  • loves fashion design, takes that class. 
  • loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 
  • great at roller skating 
  • always wins the best dressed awards ad school 
  • also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 
  • cried the most during 'up' 
  • Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 
  • loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 
  • dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 
  • always breaks snapchat streaks 
  • likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 
  • amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 
  • big spoon™ 
  • notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 
  • also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 
  • wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 
  • always eating lollipops 
  • has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

  • prefers black coffee as well 
  • loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’
  •  favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels
  • has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 
  • *deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 
  • also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 
  • always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 
  • does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 
  • “bow down you fucking peasants" 
  • only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 
  • only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 
  • loves watching horror movies with nina 
  •  *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 
  • gets second place for best dressed award 
  • always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 
  • indie and alternative rock fan 
  • “does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 
  • head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 
  • likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 
  • cried the most during finding dory 
  • can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 
  • The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl
  •  hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 
  • kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

  • SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 
  • "hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 
  • nina treats him like a baby 
  • loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 
  • has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 
  • Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 
  • knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)
  •  jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 
  • obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 
  • "fight me on this" 
  • has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 
  • Always drinking ginger ale 
  • master at bop it 
  • the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 
  • is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 
  • loves cartoons and anime 
  • speaks fluent fuckboy 
  • God awful at comebacks 
  • "let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 
  • talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 
  • huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 
  • cried the most during inside out
  •  "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

Today I pulled into a grocery store parking lot and an old lady was in the car behind me. I pulled into a handicap spot (the only one open), and when I stepped out of the car the old woman was idling behind me with her window rolled down. She looked at me and said “I needed that more you know. You’re young.”
I literally just looked her in the eyes, said “fuck you” and walked into the store. You can see my cane and my limp. Old people who are ableist to young people bc “you’re too young to be disabled” can go to hell.

[Image description: in the center of the image, there is large hand-lettered text “All bodies and assistive devices are normal.” Around the text are several stick figures with different body configurations and mobility aids. In each case, the stick figure is in blue, while assistive devices are shown in red. Approximately clockwise from the upper right-hand corner, we have:
stick finger on a mobility scooter
stick figure sitting upright in a power wheelchair
stick figure with a long cane
stick figure with a prosthetic leg
stick figure with only one arm
stick figure with a prosthetic arm
stick figure with a walking cane
stick figure lying on a wheeled bed
stick figure reclining in a power wheelchair with headrest
stick figure sitting upright in a manual wheelchair
stick figure with two prosthetic arms
stick figure with only one leg and a pair of crutches
stick figure with a walker
stick figure sitting upright in power wheelchair with headrest
stick figure with to walking canes
typical stick figure with no visible disability.
(This is the end of image description.)]

I’ve been experimenting a little with acrylic paints, as brushes seem to be way easier for me to use than pens or pencils, pain wise. Unfortunately, I’m also not very good at controlling where the paint goes. So let’s just say that there is a reason these are stick figures, and that you should be kind when critiquing my depiction of the disabilities and assistive technology in this image.

Your favorite authors are being threatened...

…and no one wants to take it seriously. (by me, a RQ blog)

Earlier this morning, various threats to beloved NYT bestselling authors like Victoria Aveyard, Leigh Bardugo, and Cassandra Clare came into the light on Twitter.

It started with NYT bestselling author of the Red Queen series, Victoria Aveyard ( @vaveyard ) retweeting this photo of a threat she had received in hopes of getting Twitter to do something about the threat (this is not the first time she has been threatened/harassed on the website)

*the second photo is not Aveyard, she was not physically hurt

Aveyard’s response: “Well at least now we all know what to do. Torn bc they clearly want the attention but I also want this recorded and seen. Blegh. No apologies necessary, guys. The fault is not with us. Twitter needs to do better to protect users from serial harassers. This bleeds into the issues with stan twitter. We get threats like this, be they real or “jokes.” We can’t differentiate. We don’t know you. You can’t support women defending against their harassers while also perpetuating a culture of harassment for your own entertainment. We see you making snide jokes about our weight and our worth and our humanity so you can giggle with each other. It’s not great but okay. But a direct threat? Come on. You can’t do that & cry abuse when the person you are threatening to harm responds. Twitter isn’t a vacuum.“

Twitter took awhile to suspend the account, and at first notified Aveyard that “there was no violation of Twitter’s Rules regarding abusive behavior” which led to many fans reporting the account even more and tweeting at Twitter directly to provide better care against threats. 

Aveyard’s final response to fans: “Again, account finally suspended. But the person is just going to make another. Thanks for all the reporting, people. It means a lot.”

Aveyard later was defending fellow author Leigh Bardugo ( @lbardugo ),  NYT bestselling author of Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom, and the Grisha trilogy, after ‘fans’ claimed Bardugo would “come after [them] with her cane”

Aveyard’s response: “Not interested in calling out people but definitely want to highlight how ugly this behavior is. What is the goal here? Where is your shame? …can we just acknowledge there is something incredibly broken if anyone thinks this is acceptable?”

Bardugo herself responded to the multiples claims on herself and other fellow authors about the ridiculousness of the level of harassment and how it indeed must be taken seriously, as well as why the authors are rightfully concerned.

Bardugo’s response: “This is some spectacular gaslighting. Let me explain the difference since you guys are creating false equivalences… and I do this knowing that there’s no way to “win.” You guys have decided that somehow, by calling out a vile threat, we’re the bullies. What were the consequences to the OP? She told an author “big b*tch, I’m coming for you” then threatened to corner her at Bookcon & beat her. A whole lot of people had to say, “Even if you’re joking, this isn’t okay.” Aside from just being cruel and ott… We have no way of knowing if it’s a credible threat, if the person is unwell and actually dangerous, or just a kid who thinks it’s funny. We have no way of recognizing that person or persons at a huge conference event with fairly lax security. I take no joy in making a kid feel bad, but that kid came with a lot nasty vitriol and you guys thought it was HILARIOUS. Zero empathy. If you think me walking around Bookcon with my cane is A THREAT and not, y'know, a way for me not to tip over… I’m not sure there’s anything more to say. I told Cassie I had her back and made a LoTR reference. Pretending you think it was a threat… God this is tiresome. If you don’t like me, if you think I might wield my mighty cane against you, I’m super easy to avoid. For one thing, I can’t run very fast #criplife. For another, you know what I look like and where I’m gonna be. I don’t have that advantage. And honestly, I shouldn’t have to spell this out. I want to be excited about Bookcon, about meeting readers… Not somehow having to explain how I have the right to defend myself or my friends if I’m VIOLENTLY ATTACKED… I’m sorry for the negativity. I know it’s a tiny fraction of the community who think this stuff is okay.“  

Cassandra Clare ( @cassandraclare ), NYT bestselling author of the Mortal Instruments was threatened by more than 3 accounts with tweets suggesting she would be cornered and beaten up at future book signings (referenced by Bardugo above).

Clare’s response: “A few people have asked me if I’m looking for tweets about this whole BEA/threats situation. I’m not, but of course my friends/agent/publisher are. This is a really serious situation. No one I work with think specific threats to beat the fuck out of him in a place I WILL be, is funny or a joke. I don’t go looking - seeing negativity online is nothing I enjoy. But I do get sent links because no one is invisible on the internet. I think there’s an idea that threats, etc are not threats if the intention was that they not be seen. And the argument that threats are "fan language” - no one has a lock on specific kinds of violent threats. Whatever the source we have to take them all equally seriously… I hope it doesn’t take authors getting hurt physically (more than they already have) for this kind of thing to stop being ‘funny.’“

An exchange between Bardugo, Clare, and a few random ‘fans’ pointed out some were annoyed at the authors for coming to social media about the threats

After all three bouts occurred, Aveyard retweeted the following message from  Brittany Cavallaro, NYT bestselling author of A Study in Charlotte and The Last of August.

Cavallaro’s response: "Ultimately, what’s gained by threatening authors online and at events, at assuming that a small window into their lives via Twitter…or that you ‘know them’ because of their books and so have the right to harass them or push into their personal lives…the end result is that you’ll lose that access. Authors will not do events. Will leave social media. Will take themselves away… Because right now, I’m definitely not writing. I’m reporting trolls and wondering how it came to this, why some readers think it’s okay.”

Queen Aveyard gave some notable responses to a few rude tweets about the whole fiasco:


As for Twitter and neutral fans who do not see these as actual threats, please realize that these beautiful authors are real people. Words hurt, sure, but seeing things like this can be terrifying, whether they’re real or not, it means someone at least thought about it, and you never know what can break someone. Not to mention that responses like this are caused by such silly things as who an author writes as a canon ship? That is utterly ridiculous and unacceptable. 

 Authors are now wanting to leave social media and seriously reduce the amount of response time to fans because of bad apples like these. Do not be one of these fake fans. The books that they write belong to them. They come from their imagination and expertise. It is their job and passion to give us these stories. We need to find stories we like to love and be okay with stories that don’t go the way we planned because they are not our stories. Threatening an author is never an okay route to go to get what you want. Turn those angry fingers to watt pad and write your own stories instead of pushing authors away from the internet. 

My hopes for the upcoming family gamepack :

BABIES

  • new event : baby shower
  • strollers
  • cas options
  • edit 15/05 : be able to take the baby outside

TOODLERS

  • new interaction between kids and toodlers
  • small pools
  • edit 15/05 : write on walls

KIDS

  • playground activities and equipements
  • after-school activites
  • special interactions between siblings
  • tree house
  • new venue : school
  • bunk beds
  • play tag
  • can now garden

TEENS

  • chores system
  • new skill : cleaning
  • runaways
  • new traits : rebel, shy
  • field trips (for those who’ve outdoor retreat)
  • new event : prom night
  • piercings
  • acne and body hairs (yup)
  • edit 15/05 : pranks

ADULTS

  • a more elaborate money system : bank deposit, loan, debt, tax, etc.
  • new careers : teachers, baby-sitters, 
  • new event : family reunion

ELDERS

  • new walks (and canes !)
  • a new board game
  • new tea pot
  • newspapers

BUY/BUILD MODE

  • double-door fridge (yaaas)
  • split levels
  • round pools
  • attics and ladders
  • customizable ceillings
  • large round tables
  • new trees and bushes
  • vaccuum, trash compactors, mixers
  • sprinklers
  • skylights
  • round window
  • aesthetic : ikea-ish, maybe

ANIMATIONS/EMOTIONS

  • sad : date didn’t show up
  • parents can teach their kids how to read and write
  • give gifts
  • hot chocolate


15/05 : update after the teaser trailer

kaz and inej accidentally adopt a child and kind of reform ketterdam in the process?

because @mathiashevlr and i have been screaming about this for days, i felt it necessary to share this with everyone else

  • everyone knows that you should fear kaz brekker and inej ghafa. he rips apart businesses and destroys careers; she slaughters slavers and ruins their ships. but the kids? there are children out there that know kaz and inej are, in a way, fighting for them
  • kaz looks out for the kids that are like him and his brother. there’s so many other kids like kaz and jordie who were scammed and suffered just the same and never managed to get revenge like kaz could, but now? pekka rollins fled the city. he’s never coming back. kaz and inej did that, and it doesn’t bring back the lost families and money but it is satisfying as hell to know he’s had to lose everything, too.
  • so kaz comes across a kid who’s lost everything after being drawn in by promises of wealth and a new life. the kid looks at him, terrified, and then kaz says “it happened to me too”
  • this kid looks at kaz and thinks if he can do it then why can’t they? and seeing kaz as the toughest most terrifying barrel boss goes from something threatening to something empowering because it happened to him, and look where he is now!
  • at this point kaz and inej are in a steady relationship and they kind of, without meaning to, adopt this child because they have nowhere else to go and it’s better than ending up on the streets. (also kaz will never admit it, but he has a soft spot for this weak little child)

Keep reading

Random Trinket Table

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, I want something useless but mildly interesting that isn’t from the trinket table in the player’s handbook!” Well, you’re in luck. Because I love random, useless trinkets and I’ve created a list for all to use. Even though there are plenty of other random trinket tables out there, you can never really have too many. Am I right or…? Anyways. Table below the cut!

Keep reading

Homestuck Camping Headcanons

John: Brought enough kites to populate a small country if the citizens were also kites. “John we’re in the middle of the fucking woods where are you going to fly a goddamn kite,” wrong question Karkat. John makes eye contact while holding a kite, floats up above the tree line, and flies his kite suck a dick everyone. Terezi tries flying one of the kites but seemingly does not know how. When John tries to show her she somehow manages to get him tangled up in the string and just starts cackling. She takes another kite from the pile and flies it perfectly. John is not pleased.

Dave: Spends the entire trip there composing raps and sick beats which is VERY ANNOYING to Karkat who is being carried five inches from Dave’s stupid rhyming mouth fuck you Dave. When they get there, it turns out mr cool kid is hella afraid of bugs, like “fuck oh fuck there’s a bug Karkat kill it please fuck oh my god someone please just kill it” levels of hate. “You know my species starts out as a bug” Karkat narrows his eyes. That is different, Dave tells him, your species can talk and have s- “eat shit, Dave.” Around the campfire, he tries to tell a scary story but it turns out the big plot twist at the end is just a character falling down some stairs and Dave saying “I warned you about stairs, bro” in a spooky voice. Roxy throws a marshmallow at his head from across the campfire.

Jade: Somehow manages to befriend every single forest creature she finds. She goes out for a walk and comes back with five squirrels, three bunnies, and a doe with her baby in tow. “Can we keep them?” She finds a nearby lake with a little waterfall and encourages everyone to go swimming, she cannonballs off the ledge obvi and a belly flop competition starts. Everyone’s belly hurts. This was a mistake. Oh god.

Rose: Finds a dark cave nearby and extends an invitation to explore it, Kanaya lights the way and Jake shows up in full on spelunking gear which ends up being pretty much useless as the cave dead ends after fifty feet. Rose is disappointed, she was hoping to find ancient cave drawings or the remains of a ritual sacrifice. Jake, who found some cool rocks and some kind of skull he might give to Dave, asks her why she seems let down. When she mumbles something about the blood of children he nods and walks a step behind her on the way back. At the campfire, Rose also tries to tell a scary story, she recounts the tale of Mothman. It is actually pretty spooky until she gets to the end and says that there probably was no Mothman and it was most likely a red sand hill crane that had wandered off its mighration course. Dave boos.

Kanaya: No one but Rose will share a tent with Kanaya (especially not Dave) because she likes to turn up her glow a little which attracts every. Single. Bug. She has an entourage of moths following her around and yes they do have names, Rose, they’re our children now you have to love them. Tries her hand at scary stories too, but it ends up just being about a troll who showed up to a white-tie occasion in a semi-formal outfit. Needless to say, the fear and outraged reaction was limited. She does end up scaring John, however. He heads around to the latrine only to see Kanaya hunched over a bag of pre-packed blood. “Uh, Kanaya? What are you doing?” She turns around with blood all over her mouth which she casually wipes away, Oh Hello John, I Did Not Hear You Coming, Is Something The Matter? The last part is said to his back as he sprints away screaming.

Karkat: Eats a bug in front of Dave just to freak him out a little, then Dave asks if it’s cannibalism and Karkat punches him in the arm. Tries to refuse swimming in the lake, but Dave jumps in and pretends to drown so Karkat freaks out and jumps in to try to rescue him. When Dave resurfaces laughing, Karkat pushes him back under and asks Dirk if this would count as a just death. Dirk says he better not risk it. While he’s asleep, Dave and John team up by squirting shaving cream on Karkat’s hand and tickling his face with a crow feather. This backfires because instead of rubbing his own face, Karkat starts swinging his arms out and manages to cover both Dave and John’s faces in shaving cream. He doesn’t notice and goes immediately back to sleep. Dave and John wash the shaving cream off and agree that this never happened, only Jane and Roxy Definitely Saw Them and also took a video.

Terezi: “accidentally” knocks one of John’s tent poles out with her cane while she’s walking, then accuses John of unfairly targeted a poor innocent blind girl. She and Vriska go to the river to try and catch fish for dinner, they end up getting in a competition to see who can catch the most fish. Everyone eats soup for dinner. Terezi and Vriska will not talk about what happened. Terezi gives scary stories a go, but it ends up being less scary and more like one of her roleplaying court scenarios. The only vaguely frightening thing is that at the end, she points up to the trees and everyone suddenly realizes that she hanged a bunch of her plushies sometime during the day and apparently no one noticed until now. She smiles wickedly and everyone feels slightly uneasy.

Jane: Spends part of the afternoon getting the soup ready in anticipation of a lack of fish. Realizes she forgot some of her spices at home and starts panicking until Jade takes her through the woods and helps her find some wild herbs that will taste almost the same. At one point, she goes to the bathroom and comes back with a small carapacian in handcuffs having apparently dodged another assassination attempt. She treats this very casually but enjoys being fussed over for a little bit. She tells a scary story that’s actually scary, no one realizes she’s teamed up with John in the Ultimate Prankster Duo. He is making the wind move through the trees very eerily, and right at the scariest part of the story he jumps out of the woods yelling. Everyone jumps out of their seats, some of the godtier kids accidentally fly up a good ten feet in the air they got so frightened. Jane and John high five and secretly salute Colonel Sassacre.

Jake: Jumps off the waterfall at least fifty times and has a blast doing it. Dirk is hesitant to go because he secretly is sort of afraid of heights after living in the post-apocalyptic high rises of Texas. Jake remedies this by picking him up bridal style and jumping off the ledge with him. Dirk does NOT scream or hold onto Jake for dear life because that would be uncool. Jake shows Jade some of the cool rocks he found and presents Dave with the cool skull he brought back. Dave is slightly in awe and develops a newfound respect for Jake, who promises to show him his Cool Skull collection when they get back home. Jake tells a story around the campfire that might have been intended to be scary, but ends up being more of an adventure tale, Indiana Jones style. Everyone listens intently and really enjoys it even though it’s not a ghost story.

Roxy: Can apparently climb trees like nobodies business? She had to help the carapacians in her old neighborhood get stuff out of them because they were always losing balls and cats and kites. She goes for a walk with Jade and Calliope while Jane is making dinner and they pick her a nice bouquet of wildflowers to give her when they get back. Around the campfire, she tries to tell a scary story but it ends up being about wizards and no one is surprised. Their tent is poppin’ and she and the ladies party it the fuck up all night and end up sleeping until noon the next day because they’re so exhausted.

Calliope: Loves being in nature so so so so much holy fuck. She’s lived underground and chained up her entire life that this is unbelievable. She’ll spend entire hours just staring up at the sky and pointing out cloud shapes to Jane and Roxy. She tries telling a scary story around the campfire, but it ends up being a tale about the importance of friendship and how love is the truest magic of all. There are a few tears in some of the kids eyes at the end of it.

Dirk: He and Jake go out to collect firewood and refuse to take more than one trip so they stagger back into camp with towering piles of branches and make a huge mess by dropping them everywhere. Instead of telling a ghost story, he and Dave have a rap battle over the fire which devolves into them just laughing and quoting SBAHJ until they can’t talk anymore. Karkat and Jake share a Look™ like, I can’t believe these are our fucking dorks. Dirk can name every single star, he knows the stars and constellations that transferred over from his Earth, and he knows the ones that migrated in from Alternia/Beforus. People begin to doubt him when he points out a constellation that he claims is shaped like a dick, most likely because he called it “Ursa Penis”. He spends the rest of the night trying to come up with a major/minor dick size joke but can’t think of a good one and sulks a little about it.

Sollux: Sets up everyone’s tent for them with his psiionics and goes on a walk with Karkat. They get very lost and argue the whole time about whether or not they are actually lost. John and Dave are flying above them and could theoretically help them get back to camp but they will not. Sollux thinks they’re going to die out in the woods and tries eating some roots and berries and mushrooms even though Karkat tells him that that’s the worst possible fucking idea he’s ever had in his life and yes he’s including the time Sollux suggested finding a way to combine troll and bee DNA to make the ultimate being. You mean ‘bee’-ing, Sollux says. No the fuck I do not, Karkat replies. The mushroom Sollux eats ends up giving him wackass hallucinations and Karkat definitely does not record any of the crazy bullshit Sollux starts saying.