and the soccer mom

EXO as high school seniors

 Xiumin: 

•  a bookworm who’s turned into eyecandy throughout his high school years
•  everyone is convinced he’s some sort of young genius who skipped like 4 grades
•  so needless to say no one is convinced that he’s an actual senior
•  hangs out with the jocks but he’s always reading some book and doesn’t care about the social classes in high school tbh
•  won’t hesitate to call you out if you’re cheating and smirks when you’re handed a detention

Suho:

•  basketball and soccer captain (his mom forbade him from joining football bc he’s too precious)
•  has hella stans around the school and you’d think his Friday afternoon practice is the world cup since there’s so many people showing up
•  is considered a jock, but he’s so nice and he’s a teacher pet despite him always denying it
•  offers tutoring for those in need after school on Thursdays
•  probably owns some vintage car that everyone swoons over
Lay:

•  president of the art club
•  advocates for lower prices for school art supplies and wants the school to hand out cameras to everyone
•  “everything is so beautiful man, all you gotta do is spread your cheeks and let the wind blow and just enjoy life, you know?”
•  no one can believe he’s made it this far in school bc he’s always so dazed
•  but you’re the one who’s gonna be dazed bc he does dancing low key and his moves are sick when he decides to do the talent show

Baekhyun:

•  thinks of it as his job to rebel against the school and the system since it’s his last year
•  gathers up a bunch of freshman at the beginning of the year and plans a senior prank with them
•  he barely has any senior friends bruh, he’s always hanging with the lower classmen and pulls pranks on like every teacher
•  can and will flirt with you even on a bad hair day
•  looks devilishly handsome in anything he wears tbh, no one knew he’d glow up so hard since freshman year (he knows how attractive he is smfh)

Chen: 

•  the jock of the jocks, runs all the school committees and was probably voted king of prom even when he was a freshman
•  wants to show off his vocal skills at any chance he gets
•  bc even tho he’s the captain of the football team, he’s hella passionate at singing
•  takes selfies with everyone just to prove he’s got friends in every group
•  wears his varsity jacket everywhere and you could probably spot him from a mile away screeching I mean laughing

Chanyeol:

•  that one annoying kid who’s always blasting his music on his backpack speakers on the bus and before class
•  tbh he doesn’t know how annoying it is, he just thinks everyone loves his music taste
•  no one has the heart to tell him off bc he’s so nice and gentle and loves everybody
•  sits outside on the grass during lunch periods and strums on his guitar while talking to his friends
•  steals everyone’s snacks bc he always forgets his own lunch but totally would pay you back with a song

D.O:

•  runs the drama club with some of his friends
•  the teachers just let him do whatever he wants during projects tbh, he’s totally aced every single class since 1st grade and they’re not about to tell him off
•  you can see his ears turning red whenever someone makes fun of his height
•  no one can tell that he’s a real sweetheart
•  bc his smile is only reserved for those who try to get to know him

Kai: 

•  model material AP student
•  knows everyone has a crush on him, he’s just too focused on studying and juggling dance lessons on the side
•  has a nice af car, but refuses to give rides to anyone unless they buy him lunch (aka chicken)
•  is genuinely nice to all the teachers despite this being his last year, and helps them out with freshman projects
•  brought his puppies to school one day and hid them in his bag but totally got caught

Sehun:

•  you’d think he’s hella pretentious but it’s just his face
•  and the fact that he never buys lunch at school, his lunchbox is neat and organized with all sorts of side dishes and deserts
•  you’ll swoon when you see him walking by himself to class, he just carries himself really well (his tall legs afsghddj)
•  has some friends here and there, but sticks to like 3 or 4 people when he really wants to hang out
•  gives the teachers a hard time bc he’s so sassy bruh, probably calls them out if they made a spelling mistake or if their breath smells bad 

Originally posted by blondejongin

I love how I was kind of hoping for Jandi? (that’s what the Jonah x Andi ship is called right?) at the beginning of Andi Mack but as time progressed I started to find myself rooting for Jyrus. Now that Cyrus is pretty much confirmed to be gay, I just want Jyrus to be a thing at some point. Give it to me! Jonah could be bi or pans. Just think of the rep Disney! This show could help so many young people come to terms with different facets of their lives. Don’t let angry soccer moms get in the way of that!

anonymous asked:

Could you do a head-canon of each of the individuals in the Armed Detective Agency babysitting an insanely rambunctious toddler? I love your stuff!!!!

Could you do a head-canon of each of the individuals in the Armed Detective Agency babysitting an insanely rambunctious toddler? I love your stuff!!!!

Yosano

  • Babysitting actually goes really well, One of the better babysitters next to the twins and Fukuzawa
  • The moment the child comes she starts the ceremonial “soccer mom” wine glass that affords her additional patience
  • If the child happens to get on her nerves the first time, she shoots them the trademark YosanoScareGlare and that’s usually enough to stop them in their tracks
  • Note the usually
  • This child however is particularly wound up and manages to bump into her hand causing the wine to dump onto her otherwise pristine white button-up
  • Yosano appears relatively indifferent as she reaches towards her medical bag, the child unaware of its contents (the one from the Motojirou episode)
  • The atmosphere of the room changes as the longest sword in the bag is slowly unsheathed, the child coming to realize the gravity of the error they had made
  • You bette believe she paddled them in a neasr Kill Bill fashion until she felt satisfied
  • Afterwards the child remained fixed to one spot, silently awaiting the parents return

Originally posted by tsukkilatte

Tanizaki and Naomi

  • This may come as a shock, but they end up doing surprisingly well handling the child this may or may not be due to Naomi dragging Tanizaki to parenting classes for “the future”
  • There are but two exceptions to this:
  • Child decides to get handsy or accidentally ends up hurting Naomi, Let’s just say it won’t be happening again have you seen TanizakiProtectorMode? I pity the soul that has
  • just in case you needed a reminder

Originally posted by amirn

Ranpo

  • I honestly think he would leave the kid to his own devices
  • Like the only possible purpose this child could serve is to aid him in the procurement of candy
  • “All’s well that’s well for me” has never been quite so applicable until this moment.
  • Really, really shouldn’t leave a child in his care

Originally posted by yumeko0

Kunikida

  • One of the best babysitters to leave a child with, though m=not in the child’s opinion
  • Dealing with Dazai has given this man near endless amounts of patience, allowing him to ride out spurts of energy with relative calm
  • Child has a tantrum, child can sit in time-out for 45 minutes. As much as Kunikida secretly enjoys children, he’s not above doling out a punishment for bad behavior, though he refrains from spanking.
  • Just as when Dazai was high on mushrooms, Kunikida will focus on required paperwork making sure to provide the child suitable entertainment may accidentally give the child a book above his/her reading capabilities so has to dedicate time to reading the book to them
  • There is a high possibility that the parents will come in to pick their child up only to find the two passed out on the ADA couch, the child safely tucked into his chest with the long forgotten book splayed on the floor

Originally posted by nozumu

Atsushi

  • Atsushi would be overwhelmed by a hyper child and attempt to calm them down by fulfilling their requests
  • A chocolate cake with sprinkles? Atsushi is hiking to the bakery in order to buy one. The newest toy caught their fancy? Atsushi will pinch his last few yen together if only to stop their rampage
  • Unsurprisingly, despite ‘sushi’s best attempts, the child runs wild throughout the agency/his home/wherever else and he almost always has to resort to calling in another member

Originally posted by mirayama


Fukuzawa

  • One of the best, if not the best member of the detective agency to leave a child with
  • calm throughout the storm type mentality will allow him to remain sane through the random bursts of energy and subsequent destruction
  • if the child so happens to catch his attention during the energy burst, he issues a stern and dissaproving which does the trick
  • will most likely ask Naomi to take care of them if he is extremely busy (which will mean looking at cat Natsune-san for a few hours)
  • will take child on walks to burn energy while he converses with the neighborhood cats

Originally posted by bungousd


Dazai

  • unfazed by the rambunctiousness of the child
  • encourages child to channel the energy towards the ranking of individuals located in the office
  • May or may not have convinced child to wreak havoc in agency as a distraction to take Kunikida’s credit card
  • Subsequently teaches child that stealing is wrong by slipping the card back into their possession and telling on them
  • Child wants to get mouthy or disobey him? He is not above buying their favorite treat and eating it in front of them. He reasoned it worked with the dogs, so it sure as hell would work with the children

Originally posted by teru-sama-desu

Dinner

Avocado toast with heirloom tomato and furikake. Cucumber and dill salad. Strawberries. Zucchini spears and hummus.

Too millennial? Nah, I’m Gen X
Neither am I a suburban soccer mom named Sharon.
I just like food.

Monsta X as Moms

Kihyun
-Soccer mom
-Has six kids
-Is always being talked about
-Doesn’t care. Will fight you.
-Kids are well behaved 80% of the time
-“Sitcho ass down before I- OH HI Sheryl”
-Makes dinner every night
-Keeps getting pregnant
-Middle Class family

Hyungwon
-Has one kid who’s great at everything
-Always spilling tea
-Head of the book club that never reads, just gossips
-Only gives back handed compliments
-“Oh, this is a…cute…house?”
-“My kid is the valedictorian and captain of the Soccer, Football, Baseball, and track team. He is also in choir and an active volunteer at the women’s shelter and soup kitchen.”
-Hella shady
-Rich husband

Jooheon
-Works really hard
-Loves to come home to his twins
-Basically a super mom
-Kids are well behaved, but very active
-Everyday there is another episode
-“One of the kids broke their arm, so I can’t make your dinner party tonight”
-“Honey I think I left the twins at the store”
-No one knows how the family manages
-People try to help them, but they actually have everything under control
-Could be sitcom
-Has zero time for his kids shit, so he goes off and it’s pretty funny

I.M.
-Usually pregnant
-Grumpy and emotional sometimes
-But is super fun
-Uncool mom who joins the PTA
-Super uncool
-“Honey! Why is Kermit the frog all over Twitter now?”
-“Me-me’s are the best”
-Kids are just running around everywhere, does not care.

Shownu
-Easy going
-Uncool
-Horrible jokes
-Always makes kids sing old songs with him
-Doesn’t know what the kids are doing 90% of the time
-Gives undivided attention to one task, kids use that to advantage
-Kids sass him a lot and sometimes other moms check them
-Overall well-behaved kids though
-Boring household in general
-Still his kids love to have friends over because he’s so chill
-“Hey, do you want to go to time out?”
-“Honey I cooked dinner, but where are the kids? Oh, at Jooheon’s?”

Wonho
-Super sweet mom
-Has two kids and packs them both lunches with cute notes
-Number one​ fan of his kids
-“You’re doing great sweety!”
-“Mommy loves you!”
-At every event for his kids and kids friends
-Loving wife
-Sensitive about a lot
-Don’t talk about his kids!

Minhyuk
-Great Mom
-Kids #1 Cheerleader
-“YEEssSs! GooD joB babY”
-“THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!”
-Is a cheer mom
-But will not fight with other moms
-Goes on every field trip and embarrasses his kids
-Prom chaperone
-SO INVOLVED
-Family time is a MUST
-“Put your phones up at the dinner table….PUT YOUR PHONES UP AT THE-”
-Guilt trips kids instead of disaplining them (I’m not angry, just disappointed)

Concept: a small child whose imaginary friend is Superman. He talks to “Superman” all the time, completely unaware that Clark can in fact hear everything he’s saying. The child and associated adults are infinitely surprised when reply letters from Superman start appearing in their mailbox

Notable Guests and Incidents From my Career at Chick-Fil-A
  • Elderly woman in the drive thru that insisted her meal should be free because the total cost was the same as her birth year. 
  • Obligatory group of shirtless frat boys. 
  • Guy who pulled me aside and demanded to know if we wash our floors with grease because the (freshly mopped) bathroom floor was slippery. 
  • Soccer mom that intentionally poured a large strawberry milkshake onto her son’s head as punishment. She asked for a new one.
  • Kid that stood on a table and sung Let It Go uninterrupted from start to finish. She received a standing ovation from everyone in the restaurant.
  • Teenage girl that paid for a to-go order, about $45 total, entirely in singles. 
  • College-age girl that asked if it was true that we were handing out free sandwiches to gays and, if so, if she could have one. I told her we weren’t doing that promotion at our location, but I’d buy her a sandwich if she gave me her number. She politely declined. 
  • Prank caller asking if we wanted to buy weed. The manager replied by saying we had a guy that sold to us for 10$/quarter and to call back when he could match that
  • Multiple instances of kids pooping in the playplace.
  • Another prank caller asking if we sold burgers. The manager (a different one) told them there was a Five Guys across the street, so why on earth bother looking for a burger here anyway?
  • That time Arthur Darville came in.
  • Drive thru guest who regularly asks, very specifically, for “coke zero, NOT diet coke with extra ice’
  • A basketball team from a local high school got banned for using their trays to slide down the slide.
  • This happened to be the same night that the staff all stayed an extra 20 minutes after the doors were locked and took turns using a tray to slide down the slide. 
  • Guy with a southern accent that addressed me as “you with the tits,” shoved his sweet tea under my nose for a refill and then, upon noticing my murderous expression, said, “Service with a smile, darlin’,” winked, and walked out.
  • Woman who told me in a watery voice, upon observing my name tag, that her recently deceased daughter’s name was Emily too. She comes back and chats with me occasionally. 
  • My coworker, Tyquan once finished his conversation with the guests by saying “Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!” It is now a meme and basically all of our customers know him. 
  • That time I was explaining to one of the girls what Rocky Horror Picture Show was and this elderly couple leaned across the counter with wide eyes and exclaimed “You’ve never heard of Rocky Horror!?” And proceeded to yell their favorite audience participation lines. 
  • Guy who’s on the security staff of a local college frequently comes through the drive thru on his segway. We are all on a first name basis with him.
  • A skinny fuckboy who consistently, for over two years, has always come in wearing a trilby, carrying a copy of hamlet, and ordering “Coca-Cola” instead of coke. 
  • Some redneck-type guy with no front teeth that asked me if almost everybody on the staff is “saved” (they are.) He then asked me how old I was and if I was a nice Christian gal (I’m not).
  • Guy who geek-checked me for my Keyblade necklace. He didn’t play the spinoffs.
  • I went into the low fridge one day and the stack of juice boxes had toppled over, basically burying everything else. I asked the manager what happened, and he looked at me dead in the face and said “it was an appleanche.” 
  • Stoners calling to ask if we delivered.
  • Guy who said, in a deadass tone: “If you guys call it Chick-Fil-A because the staff is all chicks why don’t y’all wear more revealing shirts?” And I honestly didn’t even know what to do because a) our staff is not all women and b) Sir do you realize that this is a heavily Christian establishment I mean christ.
  • Unknown guest who left me several napkins with pictures drawn on them, labelled “tip.” To date it is the third tip I’ve ever gotten and by far the best.
  • That time we traded four large strip trays for eight cases of White Castle.
  • Woman in the drive thru that demanded to speak with the owner because we told her that she could not get six large cups of ice for free and would have to pay for a bag of ice instead.
  • Guy in a full replica batman cosplay. He came in, walked around, took some pictures with people, and left.
  • There was a baby boomer that screamed literally right in my face because his nuggets were cold. I had shit to do though and his breath with nasty so after six whole minutes of this (I timed it) I burst into tears and told him it was just my first day. Later the manager told me that she saw the whole thing and that she almost peed herself from laughing so hard and that I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. 

And finally…

  • Prank caller asking if we could do a birthday party for 52 lesbians.