and the show was just genuinely very good and i'm so proud

anonymous asked:

(2) I'm sorry to send this to you but I know that you're one of the people that I love the boys just As much as I but in a good respectful manner that isn't as obnoxious as some fans can be So I come to you for help to give me examples of how real and genuine exo and other idols can be to show her that they are people as well

Hi, I didn’t get the first part of this message? So I didn’t get the reason as to why she doesn’t think Exo (and other idols) are real and genuine and therefore can’t know exactly what kind of moments and things you were talking about but I will try. Please tell me if I misunderstood! (I’m sorry for making this answer so long).

Generosity and humbleness
Kyungsoo and Jongdae will not be accepting gifts from fans anymore since they feel regretful that they can’t use everything fans send them and they don’t want us to spend that much money on them. They said instead we should wish them good health on their birthdays. (x, x)

Jongdae sent Daeul and Soeul presents after visiting them. (x, x, x)
Suho did as well. (x, x)

Jongdae gives away money to charities under his baptism name. (x, x, x)

At a charity event in China this year Yixing donated 10 ambulances to impoverished areas. (x)

Exo doing charity work both after and before debut. (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x)

Love and support towards each other and people around them
When Shinee won at the MMA’s Jongin cried because he was so happy and proud. (x)
Baekhyun said in an interview that Chanyeol cries everytime they change manager and has to say goodbye to the last one. (x)
When Suho had his v app Sehun was looking and when they spoke on the phone he told Suho not to read the comments because people were mean and what they said wasn’t true. (x around 1.18)
Yixing talking about Baekhyun’s message to him on his own birthday. (x)

Exo talking about their mothers. (x, x, xx)
Yixing sending messages to his family. (x)
Yixing’s weibo post on thanksgiving. (x)

How people around Exo talks about them
Kyungsoo’s It’s Okay, That’s Love co-star Sung Dong Il saying that when his mom past away Kyungsoo stayed with him for two nights and three days. Eventhough he’s so busy he took time to be there for his friend who was going through a hard time. (x)

Taeoh’s dad talking about Jongin after he visited them. (x, x)
Seoeon and Seojun’s dad talking about Baekhyun and Chanyeol after they visited them. (x)

A staff member from the Dream Concert 2016 talking about Exo. (x)

Heechul from Super Junior’s message to Baekhyun. (x)
Jongdae talking to an old friend on the phone. (x)

Chanyeol’s mom’s post about him on facebook. (x)
Jongdae’s mom saying on the phone that she loves Kyungsoo (and the rest of Exo). (x)
Chanyeol’s mom supporting Kyungsoo at his movie premiere and hugging him back in 2015. (x)

Conserns and doubts
One thing that makes people real are their doubts and concerns and hardships.
Baekhyun comforting Yixing when he thought he didn’t sing good. (x, x)
Jongin hugging Kyungsoo after his voice cracked during a song. (x)
Kyungsoo telling Jongin that it’s okay to cry. If he cried then he cried, it’s okay to show how you feel. (x)
Jongin talking about how depression is nothing to be ashamed of. (x)
Jongin saying that he’s been using music as healing since this year has been hard for him. (x)

Sehun being nervous on Sukira. (x)
Xiumin saying that he was so nervous recording crime scene without the other memebers that he thought “I can’t go out there alone”. (x)
Xiumin talking about his extreme weight loss and telling fans to be more careful than he was. (x)
Suho saying he came to Jongin’s exomemtary because he had noticed how nervous Jongin had been about it all week. (x)
Kyungsoo has mentioned many times that he used to have bad stage fright after their debut.

Suho expressing his conserns about making new music. (x)
Chanyeol mentioning Exo’s worries this year (he also talked about it in his mama speech). (x)
Sehun and Chanyeol talking about how things were easier when they were younger and how they only had each other to rely on then, before the worries of being a public figure came. (x)

Gratitude and love towards fans
Exo crying out of gratitude and disbelief when they’ve won big awards. (x, x, x, x, x)
Jongin crying when he heard fans screaming happy birthday and his name during his thank you speech and his reaction after. (x, x)
Yixing crying when he won Most Popular Movie OST and Most Popular Newcomer of the Year. (x)
Chanyeol talking about why he cried during his ment at Exo’luxion [dot]. (x)

Exo looking at Exo-L with so much love in their eyes it makes me want to cry too. (x)

The lyrics to Promise (Exo 2014) was written by Jongdae and composed by Yixing. The rap part was also written by Chanyeol. The lyrics are very personal to them sice it’s about their love for Exo-L. (x)

Photo’s of Yixing reading letters fans have given him. (x, x, x, x)
Yixing handwrote 300 invitations for his birthday concert. (x)

Jongdae, Yixing and Sehun saying that we don’t have to buy their albums. It’s better if we spend our money on ourselves and people we love. (x, x, x)

Kyungsoo was worried about how the fans in the audience would get home since the recording of Star Show 360 ended so late. Most of them were young girls and it was already 2am and dark outside. (x)

Exo giving us small messages of love. ( x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x)

Other small things that I think show how sweet and genuine Exo are
Chanyeol and fans. (x)
Suho’s ment during Exo’luxion in America. (x)
Jongin’s gratitude in Tokyo Dome. (x)
Kyungsoo’s lotto 3rd win thank you speach (x)
Baekhyun being concered about Chanyeol during their bowling match. (x)
Jongin’s reaction to a girl’s struggle to be loved equally by her mom. (x)
Chanyeol crying during his Exordium ment. (x)
Jongin apologizing to fans for being injured and not able to dance. (x)
Xiumin talking about balance between being celebrety and having privacy. (x)
Baekhyun saying that Exo doesn’t feel good enough for us. (x)
Kyungsoo always being humble. (x)
Jongin playing a game of who can draw the best bear with fans. (x, x)
Kyungsoo talking about his family. (x)
Jongin wanting to work as a doctor. (x)
Yixing’s reaction to the rest of Exo’s message for his birthday. (x)
Kyungsoo saying that the other members are his soulmates. (x)
A list of reasons why Tao is amazing. (x)
Jongin’s v apps. (x, x)
Chanyeol’s v app after Mama awards 2016. (x)
All of Exomentary. And Exo’s live shows. (x)

cyrano’s got nothin’ on me

by andawaywego

[or: Jason asks Kim out and Trini is too good a friend for this crap]


Jason asks Kim out on a Thursday.

Trini’s not sure why it’s important that it’s a Thursday, only that it is. Thursdays suck. Not quite the week, not quite the weekend. She supposes, also–along those same lines–that she’s not even really sure why it’s important at all . Because it isn’t.

Or…shouldn’t be.

Jason can ask out whoever he wants. He could ask out Alpha-5 for all Trini cares. And it’s not like she has a monopoly on Kim’s time anyway, even if they usually do spend their Friday nights babysitting Trini’s brothers together. Even if her going on a date with Jason would take that away from her.

That tiny shred of a regular schedule.

They’re in the pit when it happens and Trini is delicately putting a bandage over a particularly bad scrape on Kim’s shoulder. She’s being a good friend. Because that’s what friends do. Friends press antiseptic wipes into cuts and wipe away blood and sometimes even press their fingers to their lips and then press those fingers into the Mickey Mouse band-aid. It’s not weird.

It’s completely normal.

“How bad is it?” Kim is asking, her voice that soft timbre that definitely doesn’t make Trini’s knees shake a little from where she’s kneeling on them.

That would be crazy.

“You’re fine, you big baby,” she jokes, trying to get rid of some of the tension of the moment–that unnecessary weight that is always added so immediately whenever her and Kim’s skin meets.

Kim laughs, this light sound that hardly even sounds like her.

It’s a nice moment–Kim sitting on a rock, Trini kneeling beside her, fingers keen and careful as she presses the adhesive sides of the band-aid down. And then Jason comes shuffling over with his hands wringing out some gross sweat towel like he’s nervous and his eyes are downcast, which is definitely weird because–

Well, because he’s Jason. He exudes confidence and this boyish, who-fucking-cares swagger most days that she’s slightly envious of, if only because he can get away with it, as a boy, without being called a bitch .

But she digresses.

“Hey, Kimberly, can I, um…talk to you for a second?”

It’s not an unusual request, if only because he’s been known to pull each of them aside for the occasional heart-to-heart just to ensure that they’re all on the same side. Usually, they are.

This is not one of those times.

From the side of Kim’s face Trini is on, she can see her eyebrows lower down in confusion. She can see that biting frown twisting on her lips, and Trini, in turn, frowns in mere response.

It’s bizarre.

“Yeah, sure,” Kim says. “What’s up?”

The moment Trini realizes it’s weird is the moment Jason glances at her, as though waiting for her to duck out or excuse herself, which–

She doesn’t have to, okay? Kim is probably the only female friend she’s ever had. She has a right to bear witness.

Make sure Jason doesn’t say anything stupid.

Like, You really sucked at training today.

Or, Those jeans don’t look great on you.

Or–

“I was, um…sort of wondering if you maybe wanted to go on a date tomorrow…with me.”

Yeah, something like that.

Kim is silent for a really long time, her mouth just sort of hanging open as she weighs her options, no doubt. Trini knows the feeling. And it’s weird that Jason would even ask, but it’s not necessarily surprising.

It’s practically set in stone. Two kids, fallen from grace, who used to run in the same social circles. If things were different and Jason hadn’t gotten almost expelled for that cow prank and Kim hadn’t nearly been taken to court over the Amanda thing, they probably would have ended up here either way.

Still, there’s the group dynamic to think of and Trini is half-expecting Kim to just blurt out the word, No, and then hightail it out of there, leaving Trini to slink out awkwardly from underneath Jason’s heavy, disappointed gaze.

There’s the group dynamic and the fact that this could sincerely screw that up.

Trini imagines all of this going through Kim’s head and more and then Kim says, “Um…” but instead of delivering some devastating blow to Jason’s ego, she says, “Sure.”

Sure .

The word sends a pang through Trini’s head, the beginnings of a headache. She frowns, bites her lip and presses the band-aid too hard onto Kim’s shoulder, making her yelp out in pain.

“Jesus, Trin! Be careful.”

When she looks up, Jason is frowning at her. Perhaps over the fact that she’s just (accidentally) hurt Kim, but it doesn’t appear to be the look of someone who’s just asked out Kimberly Hart and gotten a positive response. Trini would be jumping for–

For nothing.

Because she’d never ask out Kim because she’s not that girl. She’s not the kind of girl who develops feelings for her straight best friend. Her first best friend.

Jason smiles. “Great. I…I’ll text you, okay?”

Kim bobs her head. “Yeah, great,” she says and then Jason leaves. He joins Zack and Billy by the ship and they leave together.

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes–just the sound of Trini breathing too harshly for someone who’s literally just kneeling there–and then Kim clears her throat.

“Are you okay?” she asks, like it’s supposed to mean something different. Something deeper.

Trini nods. “Yep. Fine.”

She pulls herself up and grabs her things and it isn’t until she’s soaking wet and running home that she realizes she just stormed off like a character from some stupid teen drama. She stormed off for no damn reason.

Because she doesn’t have a reason, she thinks as she sinks heavily, wet, onto her bed and feels the soak of the sheets beneath the seat of her jeans.

At least, not one she’s willing to consider.

.

It only gets worse.

Or, weirder, actually, because Trini has absolutely no opinion of Kim going on a date with Jason, so how could it possible get worse?

Answer: it can’t. It can’t get anything because Trini doesn’t care.

“Morning,” Jason greets from beside her locker as she approaches that next morning and she frowns at him. It’s too early for his perky smile, the way his blue eyes shift in the flourescent lights.

She grunts and tugs her locker open, shoves some of Kim’s books aside so she can get her things.

“Was your night okay?”

She has to hand it to him, he’s genuinely trying. He may not be the elected leader she would have voted for as President Power Ranger, but he tries to make sure they’re all on the same page. Even when he’s asking one of them out.

“If you’re looking for Kim, she doesn’t come get books till after third, so you can come back later.”

Jason frowns–this pretty thing that turns down his lips like some Teen Beat poster. “I wanted to talk to you, actually,” he says and Trini ignores him, grabs her books and slams the locker closed. “I have a favor to ask.”

She feels sluggish, weighted down like she’s just been pushed off a cliff and into an unexpected bed of water waiting below. “What kind of favor?”

And the sheepish look Jason gives her is answer enough.

.

Okay, so it shouldn’t piss her off. There’s no reason for it.

Teen comedies should have taught her that she should do anything for her best friend, even help the guy she’s dating date her. Especially that.

Of course, in a teen movie, she’d probably fall in love with Jason at the end and Kim wouldn’t be a very good person so the audience wouldn’t feel bad that she’s left all alone, but…

Yeah, no. That’s not gonna happen.

“You’re gonna what ?” Zack asks at lunch, halting mid-throw with a tater tot in his hand. The face he’s making is torn between amusement and sincere pity, so Trini looks away–squints until she can just barely see the pile of tater tots he’s been making in the football field down below the bleachers.

“You’re making a mess,” she admonishes, trying to change the subject, but Zack is never so easily swayed.

He frowns and drops his arm. “I’m sorry,” he starts, “but it sounded like you just said you’re helping Jason get ready for his date tonight.”

She looks away, finding something interesting to pick at on the knee of her jeans.

“His date with Kim.”

She frowns.

“The same Kim you’re in love with.”

Except–

“I’m not in love with Kim,” she snarls and Zack nearly looks afraid for a second before a smug look replaces it.

“Mhm,” he hums and looks away. He chucks the tater tot from before and it lands in the same pile in the middle of the fifty yard line.

“I’m not.”

He nods. “I heard you.”

“Yeah, but you don’t seem like you believe me.”

He chucks another one and then turns to meet her eyes. “That’s because I don’t.”

And, well.

She doesn’t owe any sort of explanation to him anyway.

.

“So,” Kim starts at the end of the day, standing by Trini’s locker and Trini can’t even look at her, can’t bring herself to do it.

Keeps hearing, the Kim you’re in love with, over and over in her head. Zack’s stupid voice.

Stupid words.

Stupid Zack, always making things more complicated.

“Yeah?” Trini prods, because it’s rude to ignore someone you’re not technically mad at. It’s rude to ignore your best friend at all.

“I, um…Have fun with your brothers tonight, I guess.”

That’s when Trini remembers that she’ll be babysitting alone for the first time since before Rita–since before meeting Kim. She’ll have to deal with Diego and Alex not wanting to do their homework on her own and Kim won’t be there after bedtime to watch cooking shows in the dark living room with.

Which is fine.

Because Trini isn’t needy. She doesn’t need to spend every single Friday with Kim like some standing date.

Date.

“Right,” she says and tugs the last of her books out. “Have fun on your date .”

If she spits that last word–if she slams their shared locker door a little too hard–she doesn’t mean to. And it doesn’t mean anything when she’s scared to look back at Kim as she leaves, scared to see her reaction.

.

At home, she tries to smother herself with a pillow only to be interrupted by a phone call.

“Hey,” Jason says when she answers. He sounds anxious and Trini closes her eyes against her growing migraine. “Could you…I don’t know what to wear. Could you maybe come over and help me?”

Like she’s some sort of dating-Kimberly-Hart expert. Like she’s a dating expert at all .

The clock on her phone says 3:47. The date isn’t until 7:00 .

Trini sighs. “Be there in five minutes.”

.

Jason answers the door like he’s just run a marathon. He looks sickly, his blue eyes darting around nervously as his hand clasps around her wrist and drags her inside and down the hall to his bedroom.

“Sorry,” he says, once the door is closed. “My mom knows I’m…” He trails off. “And if she sees you, she may think you’re who I’m taking to dinner.”

Trini nods. She gets it.

Mrs. Scott is almost as overbearing as her own mother–something that her and Jason had only just begun to bond over before this whole date fiasco started. Now, she’s–

Now she’s fine. Because this is fine.

Jason is her friend and Kim is her friend and this is totally fine .

“So…You’re taking Kim to dinner then?”

Her curiosity gets the best of her, bubbling up in her chest and her stomach and making her feel antsy. She taps her foot against his bedroom floor and takes a seat on his messy bed, pushing a couple of dirty t-shirts onto the floor to make room for herself.

Does curiosity always feel so nauseating?

Jason crosses his arms over his chest and looks towards his open closet, his messy dresser drawers, all of them pulled out and torn apart. “Yeah,” he says. “That, um…that pizza place over on Maple?”

She nods. Her brother ate seven slices of pepperoni there last month and upchucked on checkered table cloth. Good times.

Of course, she doesn’t tell Jason that because he looks nervous enough already without hearing about her kid brother puking everywhere in the same restaurant where he’s about to take Kimberly Hart on a date.

“You good?” she asks. “You look sick.”

And he does.

Jason nods and uncrosses his arms to wipe his palms on his jeans. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m just…”

But even he doesn’t seem to know what he really is, and the subject is promptly dropped.

“Okay.”

She pulls herself to her feet and edges around him to his closet and pushes around at a couple of flannels he has hung up inside it. “What were you thinking, clothes-wise?” she asks, because all the shirts look pretty much the same, most of them checkered blue and red.

Jason shrugs and he doesn’t seem to know what he’s allowed to do with his hands, because he keeps moving them around–stuffing them in his pockets, running his fingers through his hair, rubbing his face with his palms.

“Dude, are you sure you’re okay?” she asks. “Because, like…You look like you’re gonna ralph”

“I just…” He looks away and then crosses the room to sit in her recently vacated spot on his bed. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say tonight. I just feel like…This should be easy, right? If it’s meant to be?“

Trini knows that feeling–feels it pretty much every time she’s left alone with Kim, but it had been the most poignant that first afternoon alone, before they’d defeated Rita. She’d made a fool of herself going out for coffee with the other girl–hadn’t known whether she should hold the door open for her and ended up slamming it shut on Kim’s face. She hadn’t known whether or not she’d been meant to pay for her own half or not and ended up accidentally making Kim pay for the whole thing and then–

It hadn’t been pretty, but she’d like to think it’s gotten simpler since then.

Still not perfect by any means, but definitely not the disaster of that first afternoon.

“Hey, Kim is easy, okay?” Trini says, but it’s a lie and it comes out sounding like some sort of comment about something else entirely. She blushes and Jason gives her an odd look at her phrasing. “What I mean is–” She starts, clearing her throat. “–is that she’s not gonna, like, judge you or anything. She has like endless chances for us weirdos.”

Jason smiles in relief at her words. “Don’t lump me in with you,” he jokes and Trini smiles, the mood suddenly a good deal lighter than it had been mere moments before.

“Just open the door for her. Hold her chair out. Ask her questions, I guess. She doesn’t like to talk about herself unless you make her, but it makes her feel better to do it, so…And she might try to steal your food, but just let her because she makes this really cute face when she thinks she’s gotten away with it.”

Jason is looking at her weird again, his eyes narrowed and Trini looks away, back at his closet.

“How about this one?” she asks, pulling out a button-down shirt that looks exactly like the others.

But Jason seems pleased. He smiles and takes it and makes Trini turn around as he changes.

It isn’t until 6:00 when she’s making sure his hair looks decent that Trini realizes what she’s helping him prepare for.

“Thanks,” he says on his way out, his keys jingling faintly in his hand as he makes his way to his recently-repaired truck.

Trini nods and swallows around the lump in her throat, wonders vaguely if she might be getting sick. Other than the faint, persistent nausea, though, she feels completely fine.

“Have fun on your date,” she says and the words sound wrong coming out of her mouth, leave her tongue feeling heavy.

Jason nods and smiles as he backs down the driveway.

Trini almost follows him. She even starts to–heading down those familiar back roads to Kim’s house–but she stops herself before she gets too far and pulls over on the side of the road.

“What the fuck is happening?” she whispers, head against the steering wheel.

Jason’s tail lights disappear up ahead and it’s only once they’ve completely disappeared that Trini turns around and drives herself home.

.

Her parents leave at eight for their weekly scheduled date night and her brothers’ long division homework does little to distract her. Trini feels sick–like she’s trapped in some sort of funhouse mirror, stretching and pulling and shrinking again until her insides are a jumbled, sick mess.

Zack texts her once around nine with a stupid meme she doesn’t fully understand and Billy sends a picture of his cat about twenty minutes later with a message that just says, You feel off. Maxwell wanted to say hi. Call me if you need me! :)

The offer’s nice and all, but all it does is remind her of why she feels off. And why she doesn’t want to think about why she feels off.

Twenty minutes after she puts the boys to bed–when she’s flopped back on the couch trying to take some sort of enjoyment in the way Gordon Ramsay is yelling on screen–the doorbell rings.

She contemplates just leaving it. Her dad forgets his keys sometimes and hates pulling out the hide-a-key rock they have by the front stoop because “the neighbors might catch on”, but being forced to out his secret is punishment enough for forgetting them again .

But then it rings again. More insistently. Loud enough to wake Diego and Alex.

She pulls herself to her feet and grumbles all the way to the front door, unlocking it and ripping it open. “Mom, you gotta start making sure he grabs his keys before you guys–” she starts, and then promptly cuts herself off.

Jason is standing on her porch with the shirt she picked out for him tugged up around his elbows. He’s kicking at the wooden steps and shifting his weight and he says, “Hey,” when she sees that it’s him.

That damn lump in her throat is back. “What do you want?” she asks, meaning it to sound harsh, but comes out insecure and a little wobbly.

“I, um…” He shuffles just the tiniest bit closer and his posture very nearly has her pitying him.

“How’d it go?”

The question is out of her mouth before she can even stop herself. Jason’s head tilts up as her words hit him and she gets the answer from the way his eyes drop.

This time, it’s her that tugs him into the house.

.

They’ve got maybe twenty minutes before her parents get back. Thirty, at the most, but that’s only if her mom decided dessert was worth it for the night and she usually doesn’t, citing that “room for dessert” means you did not have enough to eat at dinner.

Trini rolls her eyes at the thought and realizes too late that Jason must think it’s directed at him.

Which, it is. But only a little.

She doesn’t want to talk about that.

“What went wrong?” she asks and Jason shrugs, tosses his hands up in the air.

“I don’t know!” he says. “It was just…it was weird. I thought maybe…”

He doesn’t have to finish. He’d thought that it wouldn’t be weird, that the stars would finally align because, based on every group dynamic ever made, Fred and Daphne always end up together.

But that metaphor pretty much sucks. Mostly because she’s pretty sure that makes her Scooby.

Jason is too big for her couch. He looks humongous and out of place, but he presses his face to his knees at an awkward angle, and she’s pitying him before she realizes why. Disgust twists in her chest a second later, because a tiny thrill of pride had shot through her when she’d realized the date hadn’t gone well, and what kind of friend does that make her?

“Wanna be specific or am I gonna have to prod the rest of it out of you?”

She pokes his ribs, making him squirm, and then he finally pulls himself upright.

“We didn’t have anything to talk about,” he tells her. “We just sat there for, like, twenty minutes in silence. It was weird! And…I tried to hold her hand on the way into the restaurant and she just…I don’t know.”

Trini’s not sure if that’s meant to convey that Kim had pulled away or that she’d been superbly and shockingly terrible at holding hands in the first place. She’d go with the latter, if only for the comedy of the thought, but she knows it’s not true.

Because she’s held Kim’s hand exactly three times–once after Kim had confessed everything that happened with Amanda two months ago; once on the couch just two weeks ago; and the other just earlier on in the week when they’d been patrolling through the streets for anything strange.

Kim’s hands are warm without being sweaty, soft without being clammy. Her grip isn’t too firm.

It’s not like Trini has held a hundred different hands in her life, but she’s pretty sure Kim’s would be at the top of her list even if she had .

“It just felt wrong,” Jason admits. “And then we talked and I just…I realized why . Or…I don’t know.”

Trini’s head spins. She has so many questions, she’s not sure where to even begin

“Maybe you went about it the wrong way,” Trini tries. She really wants to be supportive because Jason is her teammate and her friend and she wants Kim to be happy. And if Jason can make her happy, then she’s gonna damn well do her best to make sure he does . “She’s…Kim is sorta hard to pin down. It took me a while to get her, but she’s…I don’t know. You’ll get there.”

Jason is quiet for a long time, just kind of slumped over with his face pressed into his hand, his elbow braced on his thigh. Trini isn’t sure what she’s supposed to say and Gordon Ramsay is saying, “You’re a fucking lunatic!” on screen, so she watches him storm out of whatever restaurant he’s trying to fix and waits for the silence to be broken.

But the moment it is, she wishes it hadn’t been. Because Jason says, “You’re a good friend, Trini. You really care about her,” in this super insistent way she doesn’t know what to say to.

“I mean, she’s my friend, so I–” she starts, but Jason’s eyes really should be illegal.

They’re too blue, too easy to turn into watery messes that you can’t turn down.

She sighs. “Yeah, I do,” she says, and it’s at least enough to get him out of her house before her parents get home.

.

did you guys miss me?

The message comes through while Trini is lying in bed an hour or so later, just kinda staring up at the exposed wood of her ceiling, that messy dent she hasn’t quite gotten around to patching up yet.

Her phone blinds her eyes and she doesn’t know how to say no because the answer is yes.

The boys did, she sends back and it’s read immediately, making Trini’s heart flutter.

Somewhere across town, Kim is lying in bed with her phone open waiting for Trini to text her.

just the boys?

Trini sighs. Yep, she types, then, how was your date with our dear captain? even though she already knows the answer.

It goes unanswered, but read, for probably about two full minutes before Kim finally texts back.

fine, it says, and then, i gotta sleep. see you tomorrow.

Kim, it seems, isn’t anymore willing to talk about what happened, and Trini shouldn’t, but she’s relieved for a moment before the disgust sinks in.

She really is the worst.

I’ll help you, she texts Jason a minute or two later and the response she gets is immediate.

.

“You seem better,” Billy chirps happily when she swings into detention the next morning.

He’s already at his desk with some homework pulled out, hands folded neatly on his lap, and his smile is impossible to ignore.

“I’m fine, Billy,” she tells him. It’s not necessarily a lie, just a marginal bending of the truth.

He nods. “Okay. Well…Maxwell says hi.” He smirks at his own cleverness and Trini smiles.

“Cool,” she says. “Tell him I said hi back.”

And then she’s in her corner of the room, burying her face in her English homework and ignoring the way Kim’s look burns into her face when she climbs down the steps a minute or two later.

Jason comes slinking down just before Mr. Narvy and he throws a note at Trini’s head as soon as roll call is finished.

what’s the plan? it reads, in scratchy mostly illegible letters.

Trini sighs and glances at the back of his head and then across the room where Kim is sitting, her head lowered over her homework. She’s bouncing her leg like she sometimes does when she’s taking a test in Biology. It’s a movement that Trini has become more than a little familiar with since the beginning of the school year–since before they officially met–and it makes her smile a little distantly.

She scribbles down her plan as quickly as she can manage and chucks it at his head, then pulls out another piece of paper, writing out A wild Jason appears! at the top of it in as close to Jason’s handwriting as she can manage.

It hits the back of Jason’s head with a painful looking thump. He whips around to glare at her in confusion and she just mouths, “Throw it to Kim,” with a particular harsh jut of her head towards the girl in question.

So he throws it to Kim.

It lands on her desk and she immediately stops bouncing her leg, head twisting around to look at Trini, as if the note had come from her, which…it had . But she catches Jason smiling at her instead.

Trini watches the exchange out of the corner of her eye and then the note is being discreetly tossed her way by Jason a second later.

All it says is, hey .

Which, for Kim, is wildly solemn.

Jason is watching her and Trini’s heart is pounding in her ears. The fact that it’s not her own name she’s writing down doesn’t make her feel any better.

Jason uses ASK TO A MOVIE TONIGHT.

Her hands tremble as she waits, which is stupid of course because it’s not like she’s asking Kim out (even if she is ).

Technicalities.

Kim is smiling. Trini can see that cute (what?) little curve of her lips from where she’s sitting. It must be a big smile.

She’s pretty sure she’s having a heart attack.

The answer she gets a minute later is, sounds good!

She should feel proud, maybe. Because she just asked out a pretty girl, because the pretty girl said yes, even though the way she went about it was possibly the dorkiest, quasi-lamest thing she could have done.

It’s not clear what expression she expects from Jason when she sends the note chain back to him with she likes dramas–bring tissues scribbled on the front, but mild disappointment certainly isn’t it.

.

At least training is cancelled.

A silver lining perhaps, but Kim flakes out after detention and Trini isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do now that she’s gotten Jason another date, so she goes to the mine anyway.

Zack is already there, swinging his legs over the edge of the cliff.

“You look pissed,” he says as she slumps down into the dirt beside him. “How’s the whole Cyrano de Bergerac thing working for you?”

She frowns, momentarily confused and Zack shrugs.

“What?” he asks. “I read.”

.

Jason calls her a couple of hours later, freaking out about movie times and choices.

“I don’t know, dude,” she says and resists the urge to chuck her phone into a rock.

Zack chuckles humorlessly from his spot on top of the train car. She flips him off.

“It’s like you’ve never dated a girl before,” she says, and it really is.

Not that she has either–not that she has much experience–but she’s been to the movies with Kim. She’s sat beside her in a mostly-dark room with one bucket of popcorn between them and felt the exact same nervousness that’s probably jumping in Jason’s throat right now.

Mostly, she just hates knowing that her and Jason have that much in common, so when he says, “You’re right. It’ll be fine,” a minute later, it’s satisfaction she feels when the line clicks dead.

.

He doesn’t show up on her doorstep that night, which she takes as a good sign.

For him.

Around ten, he texts her the thumbs up emoji. She doesn’t want to think about what that means.

.

“How are things with Jason?”

Trini asks it out of obligation, out of some masochistic tendency that she relies on like bad limp. She doesn’t want to know. Or, rather, 90% of her doesn’t want to know. It’s that rogue 10% that would much rather her be left a crying mess on the floor with her hard-to-process feelings.

Except they’re not so hard.

“Good,” Kim says and she’s cradling her paper coffee cup in her hands and exhaling bright, white curling air that spreads upwards, chilled and freezing microscopically.

Trini nods and presses her coffee further between her knees, bundling into her coat and trying to ignore the cold metal of the park bench beneath her legs.

It’s quiet. Trini lets the unspoken reasoning behind her brief, unimportant interrogation settle into the space between them, which doesn’t say much because there’s not much space. Kim’s arm is pressed up against her own and Trini wants to move and doesn’t in equal, confusing parts.

“Are you…” She’s not certain how she wants to ask that. Mostly because she’s only had a couple of days to come to terms with where this has been heading since she met Kim on that stupid cliff two months ago.

Her dumb, teenage heart got away from her and now she can’t so much as look at Kim without imagining Jason kissing her. The thought makes her sick. The thought of Kim with anyone (else) has made her sick for a while now, but she’s only just now begun to understand the reasoning behind it.

“Yeah?” Kim prods and she’s looking at her now.

Trini meets her eyes, but barely–refuses to get lost in the darkness of their color, that beautiful shadow around Kim’s pupils that spins her out of control every time.

Trini tries to hide the severity of the moment by taking a sip of her coffee, wincing at the bitterness, but relishing in its warmth. She’s not sure who’s idea it was to sit in the park in the middle of November, but she’s fairly certain that her nose is never going to be warm ever again.

“Are you going to go out again?” she asks, once the scalding coffee has slipped down her throat.

Kim looks away. “I don’t know,” she says. “Maybe. If he asks.”

Quiet again.

And then Kim bumps Trini’s shoulder with her own. “The beanie actually makes more sense in the winter,” she jokes and the image of Jason pressing his hands into the graceful convex of Kim’s waist makes her swallow a little more thickly than usual.

.

Billy brings her some cookies that night, the kind you can find at every other grocery store. The somewhat chalky, sprinkled kind that mostly just taste like processed sugar and food dye.

It’s a nice thought and Trini eats three of them on the couch while Billy sits beside her and reads.

“Is this because Jason and Kimberly are dating now?” he asks and Trini doesn’t think there’s any point in answering because that’s all this has ever been about.

She likes Billy and his gentle voice, the way he’s always trying to perk everyone up, no matter what the circumstance. She especially likes how good he is at it.

“You should talk to Kimberly,” he says a little later and she’s got her head on his shoulder, feeling the way he moves as he chews one of those cookies. “Nothing else is gonna help.”

And of course he’s right. He’s Billy. And Billy is never wrong.

.

But the timing doesn’t seem right. She doubts that it ever really will.

Kim comes over that night–just hefts herself through Trini’s window like she sometimes does on nights when it’s late and she gets antsy, or when she can’t sleep and knows that Trini will be awake. It’s late and Trini is lying in her bed with the lamp off and the thing is, she’s so used to this at this point that she doesn’t even jump when she hears the window creak open.

(even though the first time it had happened, it had been enough to send her into some sort of Rita-induced PTSD flashback that had taken Kim twenty minutes to talk her down from)

“Sorry,” Kim mumbles, when she knocks a stack of drawings off of Trini’s desk and Trini jumps up to help her gather them.

“What are you doing here?” Trini asks, kneeling on the floor with Kim and pushing papers together like some sort of movie-script meet-cute.

Kim smiles at her sheepishly, her eyes dark in the shadows. “I wanted to see you,” she says and the words thump hotly through Trini’s veins even though the meaning is probably different than what she hears.

What she feels.

“Okay, weirdo,” she mutters, half-joking and then Kim is lying on the covers beside her in her bed.

They’re silent for a long time, Trini’s lip trembling as she tries to figure out the best way to out herself. To say, I want you to date me, not Jason . Without scaring Kim away.

But her confidence unfolds under Kim’s gaze and the feeling leaves her empty as fear creeps up her spine.

And then Kim reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing her fingers gently. “What’s wrong with you?” she asks. “You’ve been weird lately.”

Trini doesn’t have a good answer for that, not one that has zero chance of sending Kim running into the night. She shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Trini sighs, hating the way she feels dizzy and wired at the same time from the mere offer.

“No,” she says. “I’m good.”

Kim doesn’t buy it. She rolls her eyes and then stares Trini down so intensely that Trini has to pull her hand free in order to lessen the severity of the moment.

It’s a teen movie scene, but Trini isn’t the protagonist and by all laws of 90’s rom-coms, Kim should be in Jason’s room right now, sharing this moment with him and not the best friend that is probably in love with her. Maybe.

Because the protagonist should kiss the love interest here. It should be that great moment before the low point, when everything is going okay and then something happens. Something humiliating or just enough that it breaks them apart, that everything is bleak for about ten minutes of screen time before the grand romantic gesture–the running through the streets, the song on the jukebox, the big banner declaring their love.

Trini hates that sort of thing because big moments like that only happen after something awful.

It feels more like a misguided apology than an actual revelation.

For a second, she’s certain that Kim is looking at her lips–that they’re both leaning forward and that she’s moments away from what might be the greatest kiss of her life But–

Nothing happens. Either she pulls away or Kim does or all of it was imaginary in the first place.

“You can talk to me, you know,” Kim tells her, voice soft and careful as it blows through the air between them. “About anything.”

The prospect of it is meaningful, but Trini is fairly certain it would fall apart in practice.

What straight girl would be okay with their best female friend harboring some pretty intense feelings for them?

She has a lot of faith in Kim–this girl lying in bed with her in the dark, who crawled up the side of her house in the middle of the night to ask if she’s okay–but trust can only do so much.

.

It’s not two days later when Jason comes to her again.

“Okay,” he says, in the middle of the cafeteria, waiting for Trini to figure out if she wants strawberry or chocolate milk. Mostly, she’s trying not to look at him. The milk doesn’t matter. “So the movie thing was great, but we’ve gotta talk tonight. And…we’re okay around you guys, but alone? I don’t know. That’s what was so bad the first time.”

“I can’t help you talk, Jason,” she tells him.

She picks chocolate because she doesn’t want to look at anything pink right now.

“I can help you ask her out, I can tell you what kind of movies she likes, I can tell you that nine times out of ten, she’ll greet you by saying, ‘Wazz poppin’, but I can’t talk for you.”

Billy is sitting at the table and she loves him, she really does.

(hell, she loves all of them, and maybe that’s what’s screwing her over)

But he must hear that last part, because he smiles as they take their seats. “Actually,” he says, “you might be able to.”

.

“Can you guys tell me what the plan is again? Cause I’m pretty sure it’s stupid, but I want to be really sure, y’know?”

Trini glances over at Zack, sitting on Jason’s bed with this stupid smug look on his face.

She likes him sometimes, but not when he insists on being solely expository.

“So, I’ve got Jason hooked up with a couple microphones and this hidden chest harness for my GoPro and Trini is gonna monitor his date with Kimberly to make sure nothing awkward happens.”

“So…Would you call this a double date?” Zack asks, still smirking. “Or…I guess, a tricycle, maybe?”

Billy looks at him, confused, and then goes back to strapping the harness over Jason’s undershirt, where it’ll be hidden by his button-down and tie.

“Thanks for doing this again, Trini,” Jason says, beaming. “I…I just want tonight to go well. Third date and all.”

“Right.” She swallows around the bile in her throat. “Well, you know me. Resident Kim expert. Here to help.”

Her head is starting to pound and Kim isn’t supposed to arrive for another twenty minutes. There’s something to standing in this room with three boys, preparing one of them for a date with the girl she likes.

Maybe loves.

Or…Whatever.

Doesn’t matter.

Because Kim is her friend . Her best friend and she’s worked for it, so fucking hard for the past two months. She learned how to handle Kim on her own–learned her quirks and her habits–and she didn’t just ask her out on a date in an attempt to wing it and then beg someone else for help.

She doesn’t care, of course. Because if Jason makes Kim happy, then so be it.

She can be supportive.

Witness her being supportive. She feels her eyelid twitch.

Maybe she could fake food poisoning and guilt Kim into taking care of her like she did when she had a cold last month. Kim could make her that cheddar chicken noodle soup again and they watch bad reality TV in Trini’s bedroom and–

That sounds a lot like a date.

Maybe Jason should fake food poisoning.

“How do I look?” Jason asks, turning a little so they can see.

The camera is hidden well behind his tie, but Trini is skeptical on how they’ll even be able to see . Billy looks proud. He claps his hands together.

“Good,” she manages.

The doorbell rings and Jason waves her off to answer it so he can make sure his hair looks alright.

Kim looks beautiful and Trini immediately stops wondering why Jason wanted her to meet him here instead of him picking her up. Stops caring. Because Kim is wearing a skirt and Trini’s seen her legs before, of course, but it’s different like this somehow, in the low light of the cold evening.

She’s shivering too.

“Hi,” Trini says and Kim pushes her way inside.

“Hey,” she says in the foyer, the door still open a little. “Why are you here?”

Her tone is a little more uneven than usual, the inquisition raising up at the end and Trini frowns, trying to think of a good reason.

“Oh, well…being supportive,” she lies. “Zack and Billy are here too.”

Kim nods. “Is Jason ready?”

She seems tense, for some reason. Her shoulders are hiked up higher than usual and her tone is biting now, a little annoyed. Trini has no idea why.

“I think so.”

Silence descends and Trini sniffs, trying to break it, if only for a moment.

It hardly works.

“You look…wow,” she says and Kim brightens a little, her shoulders drooping.

Trini reminds herself that she shouldn’t hurt like this, because she’s doing this for Kim (and for the dizzying rush she gets every time Kim smiles at her now, but she’s trying not to factor that in right now).

“Thanks,” Kim says and her voice is low, hardly a whisper. “So do you.”

Her eyes drop down to inspect Trini’s outfit like she’s never seen it before, even though it’s the same thing she wore to school earlier. The moment is nearly too much. If Kim weren’t dressed and ready for a date with someone else, it would be overwhelming for a lot of reasons.

In any case, Jason comes in a second later and greets Kim with a boyish smile that makes Trini shrink into the corner soundlessly.

“You look great,” he says and Kim smiles–different than the one she’d sent Trini for her similar comment.

“Thank you,” she responds and then they’re out the door, Kimberly sending a little wave as they back out of the driveway and head towards town.

Trini watches them through the window and the moment is so stiff and unyielding for a second that she doesn’t even know what to do.

And then Billy says, “We should probably get ready, huh?” and the moment is broken.

Thankfully.

.

At least it’s not the pizza place again.

Granted, it’s still Italian food, but that’s pretty much the only kind of restaurants Angel Grove has anymore, as if Rita’s gold monster had had a vendetta against fast food chains or something.

She snorts at the thought of Jason taking Kimberly Hart on a third date to McDonald’s.

“What’s so funny, pip squeak?” Zack asks from the cramped back of her car. His knees are practically in his chest and Trini rolls her eyes at him.

“Nothing,” she says.

Billy has his laptop out and is hooking it up to the camera on Jason’s chest, to the microphone in the pocket of his shirt. “Do you need to be alone?” Billy asks her and she gives him a confused look. “When you woo her? That can get pretty personal.”

Her face flushes and Zack cackles in the back, slapping the seat with the flat of his hand for effect. “I’m not wooing her, Billy,” she says. “I’m just here if Jason needs to phone a friend.”

Billy shrugs and goes back to fiddling with his computer. “If you say so.”

Jason’s truck is in the parking lot of the restaurant, just three down from where Trini is parked. They can see through the windows, but not much further than the front entrance. Jason had held the door open for Kim as they’d gone in and she imagines them holding hands on the table top.

Her stomach twists.

“–sea this time of year,” comes Jason’s voice, suddenly, through the speakers of Billy’s computer.

Trini whips her head around to look and is immediately faced with the somewhat blurry image of Kim across a table. She has her elbow leaned on the tabletop, her chin rested prettily in her palm. Trini sucks in a breath and holds it.

“Yeah, that’s true,” she drawls, sounding bored. “Weather is funky like that.”

Trini smirks at her vocabulary and ignores the look Zack is giving her.

The silence between the two is palpable, even through a damn computer screen. It’s actually a little painful to witness and Trini starts to rethink her entire life leading up to this moment.

“This is not going well,” Billy cuts in as they watch their friends order their food and then return to sitting in silence.

Trini can’t look away from Kim, at the bored, taut expression on her face. The way she keeps looking to her left, where she assumes a window is sitting. She must be eager to leave and Trini feels bad, immediately, for the thrill this realization sends through her.

Suddenly, there’s a loud thump in the speakers and Billy glances at her.

“I think that’s your cue,” he says.

And, it is.

“I don’t think even you can fix this, Trin,” Zack says and she reaches back a hand to shove him just as Billy passes her the speaker they have attached to the tiny earpiece Jason is wearing.

“Hey, Jase,” she says into it and the image of Kim on the screen jostle, as though he’s been started. She rolls her eyes. “It’s me, weirdo. Act natural, or she’s gonna know something is up. Don’t just sit there, weirdo. This is awful. Ask how her day was.”

On the screen, she can see Kim move as Jason clears his throat. “So,” he starts, “how was your day?”

The smile she sends is blinding. “It was okay,” she says. “Coulda been worse. I could have been pushed off a cliff.”

Trini frowns at the reference, at the way it ignites her chest. It doesn’t make sense for to be bringing that up. Not unless Jason knows about their first meeting.

But he doesn’t.

Because he stays silent and then she says, “How was yours?”

“Okay,” he returns.

Silence again. Trini runs a hand through her hair.

“Jesus, dude,” she says into the speaker. “You’ve talked to humans before, right?”

He doesn’t answer, of course, because he can’t, but she hopes the point got across regardless.

“Ask about her interests, okay? Ask what her favorite movie is,” she suggests. “She’s gonna say Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but it’s really ClueTell her you like that movie if she does that, okay? She’ll probably do her Tim Curry impression. It’s cute. You won’t have to pretend to laugh.”

Jason is quiet for a second and then he follows orders.

Now, it’s not just Zack who’s staring at her. It’s Billy, too. And she knows why.

This is ridiculous and super masochistic, but she’s in too deep already. If she can’t have Kim, the least she can do is make sure that whoever does appreciates the right things.

True to form, Kim says Breakfast at Tiffany’s but brightens up the moment Jason mentions Clue. Her laugh is brilliant–this bright, white thing in Trini’s chest–when it comes through Billy’s laptop.

The conversation doesn’t last long enough to make the following silence less unbearable. Trini’s starting to think it’s always going to be back to square one.

Fortunately, their food arrives and that buys her some time.

Not much, but some.

“Dogs or cats?” Jason asks a couple minutes into their meal, as per Trini’s instructions and Kim cites back the answer Trini had already prepared him for verbatim.

For a moment, Trini is able to imagine that it’s her sitting across from Kim at that table, that they’re on their third date and there isn’t any weird tension. That things are perfect and Kim is smiling at her and Zack’s stupid, knowing looks are nowhere near her.

“Just fucking talk about something, man,” Trini says a little later, because she’s getting frustrated beyond reason, now.

It’s almost like Jason is trying to bomb this.

“This is nice,” Jason says. “I’m glad you decided to try this again. I know the first date was…weird.”

And–

There they go.

That doesn’t sound nearly as stilted as the rest of the conversations did.

Kim is nodding and running her fingers through the ends of her hair. Trini can hardly breathe at the sight. “Me too,” she says.

The silence is basically square one. Kim and Jason’s super weird reset button that gets pressed every thirty seconds.

“Can I ask, though,” Kim says and Billy glances over at her. Trini frowns at him, looks back at the screen. “What do you want this to be?”

Jason must wiggle or something because the camera jostles a little too violently and then slants to the side.

Zack tugs the speaker from Trini’s hand and says, “Yo, dude, you fucked the camera up,” into it.

Jason must hear, too, because he says, “I…Can you give me a second? My phone is buzzing.”

It definitely isn’t, and the frown Kim gives him is a good indicator that she knows it, but Jason gets up from the table anyway and Trini watches (sideways) as he pushes his way through the dining room and out the side door. When she looks up through the windshield, he’s there, barreling towards her car in shaky, frightened movements that almost seem over exaggerated.

She rolls the window down and Billy gets out of the car to adjust the camera.

“It’s like you want her to figure out I’m out here feeding you lines,” Trini tells him and Jason gives her this weird look she can’t interpret.

She doesn’t have the mental capacity for it right then.

“How am I supposed to answer that question?” he asks, sounding panicked.

Trini sighs. “You don’t know what you want from this?” she asks and Zack peeks his head around the chair, pressing his temple into hers, but she doesn’t push him away. “Why did you even ask her out, then?”

That, somehow, seems like a harder question for him. His eyes widen in alarm.

“Okay…” She sighs again and pushes her forehead to the steering wheel for a moment, thinking over her options. “Go back in,” she says. “Go in there and I’ll…I’ll help you, okay?”

Jason nods and Billy finishes fixing the camera.

“Thank you,” he half-whispers, and then he books it back inside.

“Sorry about that,” they hear over the laptop.

Kim smiles placidly. “Sure. Everything okay?”

Jason doesn’t respond, which must mean he nodded or something. “To answer your question,” he starts a second later, and Billy pushes the speaker into her hand again. Zack pulls his head away and then looks out the window.

Trini closes her eyes.

“To answer your question,” she repeats, buying him time like he’s thinking because she’s thinking. She’s lining up all her reasons in a row.

Because she shouldn’t have signed up for this. This stupid, pathetic third-wheel living where it’s almost like she’s on a date with Kim if she squints her eyes and tilts her head.

She’s not . Jason is.

Jason is on his third date with Kim, to be specific.

And that hurts more than she’ll ever be able to compromise.

She doesn’t know why he wants to date Kim, that’s part of the problem. But she has her own reasons. And she’ll never tell them to Kim, never say them out loud in any way that means anything. But maybe this is enough for now.

“I wanna be with you, Kim. I…I wasn’t sure for the longest time. I thought…I thought if I told myself enough times over that what I felt for you wasn’t real, then it couldn’t hurt me. You couldn’t hurt me, but…”

She trails off, and she’s not certain, but she doesn’t think she can hear Jason repeating her. She looks to Billy for help, but he doesn’t seem perturbed by it, which must mean nothing is wrong.

So she presses on.

“I think I’m the only person I can’t lie to. Not really. And I think you’re a close second,” she says. “I wanna be with you. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me. Because…because when I met you, it wasn’t anything special. Not that first time. But every time since then has been something else. You are something else. And I–”

Her voice cracks and her hands are shaking. Zack is breathing down her neck like he wants to reach out and comfort her, but doesn’t know enough to.

“I wanna go on a hundred bad dates with you. A thousand good ones. You’re worth every moment. Even the bad ones.” She takes a shaky breath and she can hear Jason on the other end.

She can hear him say, “This is what I was trying to tell you,” which is a good enough ending for what she’d been trying to say.

When she looks up at the screen, Kim is staring at what she assumes must be Jason’s head–that spot right above the actual camera–and her eyes are watering a little. If it’s something she can see through the pixelation, she gathers it must be a pretty emotional response.

“Yeah,” she says. “That’s enough for me.”

And then her eyes finally lock onto the camera. The same camera that’s supposed to be hidden, that she’s not supposed to know about.

“Where is she?” she asks and Trini’s heart beats out a confused, panicked tempo in her ears.

“What?” she asks, no one in particular.

“Outside,” Jason says. “She’s right outside.”

“Can she hear me?”

Trini whips her head over to look at Billy, who is staring at her expectantly. To look back at Zack who is also watching, also waiting.

Kim is looking into the camera at her and her mouth is opening like she’s going to say something–like she’s going to finish off whatever cruel joke this is.

She could hear her?

So, Trini does what she always does–that fun thing she’s never been fully proud of.

She opens her car door, gets out, and runs all the way home.

.

By the time she gets home, she can’t feel her legs, which she’d be worried about, but she can’t even wrap her mind around anything other than the memory of Kim’s voice saying, can she hear me, can she hear me, can she hear me. Her front porch light is off and her parents are upstairs no doubt, her brothers in bed already.

Trini doesn’t want to go inside. Can’t even bring herself to it.

She slumps down on the porch and closes her eyes, grits her teeth, tries to focus.

Kim had heard her say all of that. Jason had somehow turned whatever radio connection that had into some sort of grand public humiliation event. She’d guess, based on Zack and Billy’s looks that they’d known, too. That they’d known it was coming.

Jason must have figured out her feelings for Kim and decided to teach her a lesson. It was only a matter of time.

Her hands tremble.

“Trini!”

And Kim–always Kim–is running down the street after.

That grand romantic gesture she never wanted, because it means the other person messed up. Because it means things are far from perfect.

Trini stands up, fists balled at her side, and wills herself not to cry. “What do you want?” she snarls. “Come to get a good laugh?”

Kim steps back from where she’s stopped in front of her and it’s unfair that Trini aches for her to come back immediately, to be closer. “I’m not here to laugh at you, Trini,” she says, but it’s not convincing.

“Oh, sure.”

She turns on her heel, intent on going inside to hide away from all of this. To possibly stop being a person forever.

Sorry to inform you that Trini’s existence has been cancelled altogether. Thank you for your understanding .

“Trini!” Kim says and Trini is drawn to her. Always. She stops walking halfway up the porch steps, but she doesn’t turn around. Not yet. “Why did you run?”

“Why do you think , Kim?”

She can practically see the cogs moving in Kim’s head, the way she starts to put things together. Still, it takes her a minute.

“Jason meant well, I think! He…I didn’t know what he was doing. I thought he just–”

She cuts herself off and then laughs, a little self-deprecating and Trini finally turns.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“I’m…” Kim looks beautiful in the streetlight, in the harsh light of the moon above them–dark hair haloed somehow. Trini scoffs and crosses her arms. “I…Did you mean all that stuff? The stuff you said?”

“No,” Trini says immediately. “I was just helping Jason.”

Kim quirks an eyebrow and takes one solid step forward. “You didn’t mean any of it?”

Trini shrugs and looks away. The trees in her yard are far more interesting.

“Jason…I told him, that first date when things got all weird, that I thought I knew the reason why it felt wrong…And he offered to talk to me about it just so I could…I don’t know, process I guess. I think I only said yes to him out of expectation. I think he only asked me out of expectation. We…We’re better as friends. We’d be a dating disaster.”

Trini wants to say that she’s pretty sure her and Kim are already off to a worse start.

“And I know why now,” Kim continues. “Because…Because I want all that stuff with you, too. Every part of it. You’re…You’re the one I want to be with, Trini. If you’ll have me.” When Trini doesn’t answer, she barrels on with defenses, with excuses. “I guess…It’s super fucked up, but Jason was trying to help, I think. I told him that I didn’t think you had a clue about this… thing… between us, and I think he wanted to help you realize it’s there, too.”

She smiles and Trini fights the urge to return it.

The whole thing is fucked up. And sure, Jason and her might have meant well by it–Zack and Billy, too, no doubt because they’d absolutely had to have been a part of this–but…

Kim takes another step forward and the toe of her shoe bumps into the bottom of the steps. “I didn’t know what he was doing until he came back in and…and he told me to listen and…Trini, I would never–”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Trini snaps, cutting her off. She knows how that sentence was going to end. “I’m gonna kick his ass. We don’t live in an episode of Friends. I thought…I thought I was never going to get a chance with you.”

Her fists are still clenched and she’s shaking and she can’t even really process her anger because she’s feeling too many things, holding them all in.

“You could have just talked to me about this. You didn’t need to go to a guy you just fucking went on a date with.”

“That’s bullshit, Trini!” Kim fires back, angry. “You…I thought you were either being a bitch about it or were just super naive. I thought it was obvious what was happening between us and you just…refused to acknowledge it. What was I supposed to think? I didn’t want to lose you!”

The words are harsh in the cool night air and Trini is certain right then that her and Kim might break each other apart a hundred times over before they ever start to fix each other back up.

“No more secrets between us if we’re going to do this, okay? I…I come to you and you come to me and that’s how it’s gotta work.”

Trini’s mind sticks to the if we’re gonna do this part, playing on an endless loop as she stands there.

“From now on, we talk to each other. Deal?” Kim says this with some degree of feeling Trini has never felt for herself.

She shakes her head. “Deal.”

They’re silent for a moment, but a different silence than that awkwardness during her and Jason’s not-date.

“Cards on the table–did you mean all of that? About wanting everything?” Kim asks. “Even the bad moments?”

Trini stares at her in disbelief for a moment and then smiles, tiny and afraid. She takes a step down, closer, hovering just by Kim and murmurs, “Of course I do, you idiot,” and Kim leans up, closer to Trini’s face, closer and closer until she’s all Trini can see and feel and know.

And her lips brush against Trini’s cheek, then jaw.

Trini’s arms come uncrossed and then her hands are on Kim’s shoulders, fingers tightened in her jacket and Kim presses those lips to her jaw one more time as Trini tugs her up, whispering, “Trini,” so quietly it nearly gets lost as Trini finally kisses her and lets her grip loosen.

.

Zack’s, “Where’s my thank you?” gets him a punch in the gut right there in the middle of the hallway the next day at school. Billy gets a half-glare (because it’s impossible to be mad at him) and Jason gets the cold shoulder for half the day and a couple of well-timed, vulgar hand gestures when she catches him throwing his puppy dog eyes her way.

Kim gets three kisses before lunch and a couple of admonishing comments whenever Trini passes one of the boys in the hallway.

“Punish me, too,” Kim says. “I’m just as bad.”

She means it seriously, but too much time around Zack twists the comment in Trini’s head and she wiggles her eyebrows until Kim kisses her again, right against their shared locker.

At lunch that day, Jason slides a note over that just says, A wild apology appears! Jason uses SORRY I FUCKED UP.

She rolls her eyes at him, but it’s hard to stay mad when he so desperately needs a haircut–when the ends of his bangs are starting to curl by his eyes.

A couple minutes later, she steals his pre-packaged cookie and Kim is holding her hand under the table, so when he says, “It’s super effective!” she lets it slide.

It’s not ineffective .

.

She doesn’t really forgive Jason.

Tells him as such that next day at training and then sidesteps a putty so that he gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

“Yeah, I um…” he says later, with a bloody nose and one hand messing through his hair. “I guess I deserve that, huh? That was…really…”

Bad , Trini wants to finish.

Later, though, it’s hard to remember why she was ever angry in the first place when Kim has her pressed into her bedroom door once they get to her house, before it’s even fully closed. By that point Jason is nowhere even close to her thoughts.

(nothing regarding him really is, actually)

.

Still, though, it’s basically the worst way they could have ever gotten together.

One of them, anyway. But Trini figures it had to happen sometime.

And at least it didn’t start on a Thursday.

e--wills  asked:

Hey AvannaK! I'm genuinely curious what you would've liked to see in a canon-consistent bridge series between HTTYD/GOTNF and HTTYD2? Do you have specific "should haves" and "would have been nice if..."? Sorry if you've answered this before. 😕 I'm not around as much. Take care!

Heya!!!

This is a really fun ask and it led me on a journey through a lot (a lot) of old posts. Some I’ve quoted, some I’ve linked to, but hopefully I’m managed to peace together a readable summation of things/events I like to imagine happened in between HTTYD/GotNF –> HTTYD2. Thank you!

Hiccup’s awakened to a whole new world; in the span of a month or so his entire life has been flipped and he’s got no choice but to hit the ground and run with it because, as of now, he’s at the forefront of Peace. The village is not only paying him positive attention (for being him) but also looking to him for direction. He’s lost a leg. He seems to have gained everything else.

In the following months, years even, his father does a lot of directing within the village, as Hiccup learns to lay out a plan. It’s not long after Hiccup awakens that Stoick sits his son down and says “Tell me everything”. Stoick wants to know Hiccup’s history with Toothless, his desires, his personal thoughts on where Berk is and move on from here and, to Hiccup, its a moment he’s been waiting for his entire life. His father has always loved him, but its felt like years since he’s openly valued his opinion. Stoick wants to be a team with Hiccup, because Hiccup is Berk’s first and only step into this new territory, but Stoick has the pull.

Stoick is openly impressed with his son after hearing the full tale; he says as much. About how brave Hiccup was, to make himself vulnerable like that, purposefully, and to come out victorious. The sort of bravery few vikings show anymore. The sort of bravery his mother had.

Hiccup and Stoick’s relationship had started to take a dive as Hiccup grew out of childhood and into a disappointing vision for a viking. It’s being restored, heftily, as they walk an entirely new path together (though, not at all without disagreement; both will continue to claim the other “doesn’t listen” until the very day they part ways).

Right from the get-go, Hiccup struggles with his leg or lack there of. There’s heavy frustration with limb loss and the adjustments Hiccup has to make around it leads to flares of temper – moments where he snaps at his father in misplaced anger, or Toothless, before he’s struck by reality and apologizes. Sometimes he pushes himself too far, insistent on maintaining independence, and Astrid, or Toothless, need to help him back, and he’s left sweaty, and angry, and embarrassed. Hiccup would have periods where he felt so helpless and it killed him because losing his independence for a time makes him feel like he’s Hiccup the Useless all over again. Phantom pains and feverish nightmares plague him often at first; times when he grows testy and stressed as this burning sensation runs up his leg like its still on fire, and Gobber has to sit him down and help him work through it. These episodes manage to crop up again and again in the following years no matter how comfortable he’s become on his feet.

In fact, late winter of that year, not long before Hiccup’s 16th birthday, when he’s just begun to feel physically normal, a common sickness is taken to an extreme for him. He can’t shake it, he loses weight, his leg pains him constantly. It has his father besides himself and Toothless acting out and Astrid furious with the gods.

And then there’s the growth spurts. He’s just sixteen when he gets a new leg fitted by Gobber. And then sixteen and a half when he adjusts that same wooden leg. Twice more before his seventeenth birthday he makes even more adjustments and it’s when he’s 17 and four months, after a fortnight of an aching back and pinched calf that Hiccup fashions himself a full new prosthetic of his own design. He happily braces it to his stump, sighs in contentment, and stands to look directly over his girlfriend’s head… who had merely come to accompany him to the Mead Hall and not be ridiculed for height disparities.

Gobber’s relationship almost immediately starts to transition from Uncle-figure/Blacksmith-master to confidant and therapy guide. Every other viking on Berk seems to have lost a limb, but Hiccup feels safest around Gobber to be open and vulnerable and actively seek help. Gobber teaches him the tricks to fastening a prosthetic, the mental and physical exercises to better deal with limbloss, holding his hand through the hardest of times and listening to his rants patiently. Limbloss is a way of viking life, but that doesn’t make it any easier watching a familial child go through it. At the same time Hiccup’s being pulled out of the forge more and more, and Gobber, like a distant, proud father, will both needle him about it and be supportive all the same. Gobber takes on another apprentices from time to time — capable young’ns, a few old hands with good experience — but he’ll miss the back and forth banter, and the exasperating ingenuity, of his honorary nephew.

Toothless takes it upon himself to get Hiccup into shape on his leg. He pushes the boy to exercise, to be physically stronger, just as Hiccup pushes him to tolerate silly human manners (like to not nest on Stoick’s bed or help himself to any fish netting in sight). Hiccup and Toothless have, by far, the best human-dragon relationship yet to be seen on Berk, often and unwittingly acting as ambassadors to their respective species with the goal of making cohabitation as seamless as possible. They also are still learning about each other, and the differences in their behaviors as humans and dragons; where they’ll compromise and where they simply won’t. The subject of Toothless’s tail come up between them. Hiccup has it confirmed that Toothless knows… he knows it was him. Just as Toothless understands, as well as any dragon could, that Hiccup’s learned and accepted that he too took his foot. It’s not instant forgiveness. Not when Toothless still bears the scars of the bola canon, and not when Hiccup is still freshly relearning how to walk, dealing with a new upheaval of emotion and pain, but both find the results well, well worth their suffering, and finding each other even more so. They forgive each other. They communicate through touch and two different, one-way, verbal speech habits until they’re able to make “we got even” jokes about it five years later to some rando, feral dragon lady.

Hiccup’s relationship with his peers is another thing that takes an immediate 180. Much like the village in its entirety, Hiccup finds himself saddled with their positive attention and respect. It carries a past of longing, heartache, and anger. Hiccup can’t find it in him to hold onto his resentment; not when they’re so willing to learn, so sets aside his unease and pushes them. He pushes them to fly, and to bond, and to listen to their dragons. He’s barely aware of a protective element building between the teens and himself; a rapport born from fighting a battle unlike any other. He doesn’t stop to question if its out of guilt for their recent past, or if they’re that singularly minded. Whenever he stops to think about it he starts to get overwhelmed by the reality that this is all happening, he’s “one of them” (or they’re one of him?), so he tries not to. …Even though they sit with Hiccup in the Mead Hall, and hang out with him beyond dragon training, and pull him into battle spars when just months earlier they would have shoved him down a knoll first. The twins show up at the forge from time to time, seemingly just to mess with him. Fishlegs will spend hours with him pouring over text discussing dragons, gushing about possible revisions to the Book of Dragons. For once, Snotlout gets to laugh along with Hiccup’s biting, witty retorts as they’re finally directed towards others: stubborn, withered old vikings set in their ways and still battling dragon integration.

Ruffnut quickly figures that her attention to Hiccup is hitting a stone wall, and her interest that came so fast and hard is easy to shrug off almost as quickly (though losing to Astrid, even in a one-sided, unacknowledged battle, still smarts). Instead she keeps up with the uncomfortable attention a while longer simply for her own amusement. Snotlout too learns to let go of Astrid. She so easily rolled into this new life (not that he’s fighting it), and, perhaps, she was never the ideal woman for him in particular. Still admittedly hot, though.

And then there’s nights in the Mead Hall. They grow older, stay out later, test the limits of Mead and foreign ales. Engage in drinking games they’ve only seen older warriors participate in. There’s a streaking incident. Brawls. Hiccup finds himself pushing to ban drinking and flying (because if vikings want to be idiots, then fine, but don’t endanger the dragons). Stoick enforces it (someone needs to look out for his idiot vikings). A more sober variation comes of it over time: Dragon Racing.

Debates within the tribe about spreading peace break out almost immediately. For the first year of peace, well into late summer, the tribe was nearly unanimous about focusing on integrating dragons: learning to fly, acclimating to the benefits (and drawbacks) of sharing space with dragons, and loose plans on altering the village to fit their new needs. As they grew comfortable Hiccup, and a few others, started to push towards communicating with their distant neighbors about bringing on this way of life. Frienemy tribes (the Meatheads, the Bogs, etc) were opening communications once more, and all Hiccup sees is an opportunity. Hiccup’s on a high over many platforms; he wants to expand peace, knowledge, and understanding between dragons and humans. People are listening to him and he’s good, really good, at what’s passing for impressive these days. He’s ready for more. But this is one area where the older generations has more experience, more assurance. It is almost unanimously agreed to keep the pro-dragon lifestyle secret, and it’s not to punish Hiccup, or dragons around the world that still battle humans, but to protect their own, very new way of life. Especially as it develops, and they’re left vulnerable, off-footed, all the while very much aware of how tribes once were long before violent dragons had forced humans to keep a united front.

It’s confirmed in HTTYD2 that Berk keeps their dragon lifestyle a secret from other tribes. Berk manages to shirk hosting an annual Thing year after year, claiming repairs for being the most devastated by the dragon war, that they’ve had to travel for timber and food given the ruin dragons laid upon them before the war mysteriously ended. Instead they travel, by boat, to meet old allies, testing the waters of old friendships, waiting for a time when an opening will come forth to bring dragons into their lives as well…

Hiccup must go to these Things, and does so without his dragon, often wary at familiar faces, nervously making up stories about his leg, wishing he had Toothless with him. Snotlout goes as well, meeting up with old playmates, but shocking them with a more protective attitude towards Hiccup. Astrid starts to accompany him when he’s seventeen; both having decided their relationship is concrete enough to make known outside Hooligan territory.

Following the events of HTTYD, Astrid (and the others’) focus is on learning to fly dragons ahead of the curve so that they can continue to master and teach. Beyond number one priority, and beyond keeping up with traditional physical tasks (as she’s still Very Viking, thank you very much), and a bit beyond helping out her village adapt to dragons, is Astrid’s interest in Hiccup. Yes, a lot of it has to do with him being the best and first dragon rider. He’s actually impressive. He’s impressed her. He has a future as a chief, and not just any chief, but the chief. The one that changed everything. And, it turns out, he’s pretty funny (and frustrating) and incredibly ingenious (but impractical at times) and he genuinely cares about her (but he’s probably being as impressed and disillusioned by her as she is him). She’s learning a lot about Berk’s heir, and she intends to continue to do so.

Astrid starts out by planting a kiss on Hiccup’s cheek from time to time. Sometimes in front of others as she tries to subtly secure a claim she’d thrown down in a moment of rapture. Sometimes in private, where she actually feels embarrassed, and vulnerable, because its more intimate than some public decision.

They get into arguments. Their priorities don’t always align. Astrid challenges Hiccup on his dragon knowledge (but it’s not just knowledge like Fishlegs has, where it can be categorized from books, but a silent empathy that can’t be taught. It takes her years to truly figure that out). Hiccup gets irritated when Astrid chooses Vikings over Dragons (as he often views it, but it’s not so black and white). There’s miscommunication. And Guilt.

Astrid goes through her own self reflection, and acknowledges that the man Hiccup’s becoming is worth her respect, just as she reaffirms that the boy Hiccup was, or who she knew him as, was not. She can forgive herself. Same as Hiccup gets to really know Astrid, beyond the shallow crush he had on her (which had been all but driven from him in the throes of discovering a life’s purpose).

They’re juggling a relationship (that didn’t have the most wholesome start) in the background of readjusting their worlds and taking on tasks and roles most adults wouldn’t be asked to. But they’re giving it a try, and it’s harsh at times, and sweet at others, and they “take breaks”, sometimes unhappily, and they meet other people (not court, or ‘date’, but there are other heirs who look at Hiccup as potential alliance material, and other Vikings, many other vikings, who are impressed by Astrid).

But through it all, as they learn about each other as people (and not crushes, or heir figures) they discover that they are a team. They were a team the moment they were forced to work together, and they remain a team throughout the rest of their lives.

Hiccup’s at the cusp of 16 and Astrid well already when Hiccup initiates a kiss with her. Kissing becomes more casual, but still soft, and sweet, from there on out. He fumblingly asks her on a “date” of sorts shortly after (having to insist that, no, this doesn’t involve the rest of the gang. Just her. She has an ‘oh!’ moment).

Hiccup’s 16 and a half, it’s the anniversary of the Death’s demise, when he allows Astrid to see his stump for the first time. She’d helped him through leg pain in the past–supporting his limps, staying by his bedside through fever–but this time he willingly removes his prosthetic and bares a scarred and ugly part of himself to someone who’s opinion matters. Astrid reacts to the breathtaking moment of trust and exposure with tender hands and speechless assurances, and Hiccup relaxes in her presence. I imagine it wasn’t sexual or humorous, but a terrifyingly intimate and vulnerable experience that launched them into a deeper level of their relationship. He allows her to touch the hard tissue, and to ask questions he hadn’t felt comfortable answering before. 

A couple months later Astrid learns of the scars on his back, the ones she’s never considered before, from when he fell backwards into the explosion.

Not long after that Hiccup’s allowed to see her hair down, and to touch it. They grow more interested in each other as budding adults, and make more time for each other. Kissing intensifies. Groping and exploring follows. Sometimes they take things a little too far and it ends in giggles or, on occasion, an older viking yelling at them.

Astrid takes to grooming Hiccup. She braids his hair. Comments on his scruff. Gets involved with his wardrobe.

The flight suit is in development and Astrid finds it ridiculous; both a point of hilarity and something that scares her (though she’d never admit it outright) and Hiccup learns to hide it in one of the few white lies they’ve picked up in regards to one another.

They’re 18 the first time they exchange “I love yous” and the intimacy of their relationship continues to rise from there.

At just shy of twenty, and after much needling from his father and not-so subtle hints from Astrid’s family, Hiccup proposes.

The entire village is on a high in the following weeks. Heartened, Stoicks makes a weighty decision.

Ok but seriously you know how everyone was complaining that if Ward had support or someone who loved him he wouldn’t have turned out the way he was and that Fitz went through roughly the same shit but turned out to be good because he’s a good person??

WELL I am SO HAPPY they decided to reverse these two roles in the framework and bring out all the bad things in Fitz and make him so evil, genuinely chillingly evil, more evil than Ward ever was to be honest, simply because Ward at times showed SOME signs of remorse or attachment while Fitz is JUST PURE FUCKING EVIL.

I mean we went from geeky scientist in cardigans to an evil doctor wearing a three piece and a beard if that’s not character development then I DON’T KNOW


Further thoughts:

I understand Fitz and Ward have always been different people. Yes, Garrett has done some serious brainwashing. And while I think Ward deserved better, one can’t blame everything on his mentor.

People make their own choices. And choices that Ward made… well, it’s hard to justify them. He tortured someone, for example. FOR EXAMPLE.

So what they did in the framework brings up the most interesting question of whether people are initially good or evil. And while I doubt that the writers have created the framework with the baseline of Montesquieu and Hobbes, it is interesting to see how they play with this idea in these episodes.

How have choices and influences made Fitz and Ward? Were they always good / bad and life has made them the way they are? In the absence of a good / bad influence, how will that change someone’s life?

Hence I think you can very well compare these two. Just my two cents on this issue.

Reveling in Richonne

#56: The Smile (7x9)

Y'all this moment was real. Like the raw power, strength, and support from Michonne to Rick in this moment felt so deep and important. 😭

So, after being the baddies they are and taking care of business with this walker herd, R&M both have to book it to the car. It’s interesting that the way it’s shot, we see Rick get out of his car and he doesn’t immediately start running. He’s looking somewhere. 

And then the next shot is us seeing what he’s looking at. And again, it’s Michonne. I adore the fact that even surrounded by a herd of walkers his main concern is still her safety. Real to the one.

So they shove these walkers to get to the car (which low key I was like, “Y’all can just be out here stiff-arming walkers without a scratch? lol. I’ll just sum it up to the fact that even walkers know to put some respek on Rick and Michonne’s name 😂) And, once they both make it in the car, y'all, Rick is looking all the way shook. 

It’s cute that Michonne, on the other hand, is more on an adrenaline rush and feeling good cuz they’re the ones that live. You already know this lol. 

And I love that smile Michonne has when she sees the explosion go off. 😋  It’s just so innocently happy and proud and she’s also aware of how cool what they just did is. It’s nice to see when warriors acknowledge “Hey, what I just did was actually pretty cool and I’ve surprised and impressed my own dang self.” Lol. 😂

Like, to me, Michonne’s response to the explosion was such a great human response to accomplishing something extreme like they just did. And I’m here for it, cuz usually warriors are expected to just respond to the cool things they do like this…

Originally posted by kimberlylemon

Lol. But Michonne is a warrior and a human being and in this moment she is just choosing to rejoice in any W they can get. Because while Michonne’s wise and realistic she also chooses to only envision winning and believe wholeheartedly that they can make it, and so she’s taking time to be in the moment and celebrate a win. As she should. 

But Rick is understandably a little dazed and reeling from what just happened. I love that Michonne puts her hand on his shoulder cuz she sees that shookness in him too. Plus, it’s just such a comforting thing to do and I appreciate that her hand on his shoulder is a way for her to physically let Rick know “I’m right here with you.” 

Again, Michonne sees Rick the human being and so she knows he’s a bit distraught right now. And then that hand gesture is just the start of her literally pouring her positivity into him in this scene. 

Rick tells her twice “I pushed it.” And I had to think about what this line really meant for a bit. But the way I came to interpret it is that one; I think he was trying to say that he pushed it by suggesting she and him essentially drive into a herd of walkers. Like it technically was a super dangerous idea that could have put Michonne in harms way and he could have lost her cuz of his own plan and I think that was hitting him hard in this moment. 

Two; I think he says “I” pushed it because he’s still taking on so much responsibility for the missteps that were made in the past.This is a man who is still affected and grieving the loss of Glenn and Abe and still feeling like part of it was his fault. He’s still carrying this burden of thinking that pushing “his” plan to go after Negan is what got people killed. 

And just like he said in "Service”, he’s not losing anyone else. Yet, here he almost lost his rock (in the road? 😂) and he’s getting on himself for possibly pushing it too far, despite Michonne being okay.

Plus, if you think about it, this really is the first big action thing they’ve done since Negan arrived. Like for a while now they’ve been forced to lay low and they’ve been out of the “slay” game for a minute lol. So I think Rick’s still a little shaken up to go back into this level of fight mode. 

And being more aware than ever of just how mortal they are, I think doing big stunts is now something that’s a bit more unsettling to Rick than it was before. 

But Michonne, being his soulmate, of course senses Rick’s disarray as he says this and she does one of the most powerful wife things she’s ever done. 👏🏽

Like I know I’ve said a lot of moments between them were husband-and-wife-like but ya’ll this right here? This was like loud and clear husband and wife, married for 40 years husband and wife, say it for the world to hear husband and wife. (Lol, just thought I’d be extra and drop some bars I guess 😂) 

But, on a serious note, just the way that Michonne saw that Rick needed uplifting and then breathed complete life into him is so moving. Like this was so obviously a wife strengthening her husband. 😍

So, she keeps her hand on his shoulder and she tells him “We’re here.” Cuz again, Michonne hears the subtext of Rick’s words and she knows that what he needs to be reminded of right now is that he shouldn’t linger on what could’ve happened with his plan. What’s important is that they made it and she and him are still here. 

It’s so important that the one he thought he could lose is right here in this car letting him know “I’m right next to you and we’re here.” She doesn’t resent him for this plan and in fact she’s proud of what the two of them could do together.  

And then, as she smiles, she tells him, “You can smile. We made it.” And I love this. 

I love that now that Rick and Michonne are a couple they don’t just get to work along side each other but they literally get to instill each other with some of their own positive attributes. 

Like in this moment Michonne is helping Rick to see things from her strong and hopeful outlook of focusing on and putting your energy into the fact that they made it, cuz it’s a big deal worth smiling about. And it’s a testament to what those two are capable of. Plus, life’s too short to see it any other way.

I love that she tells him he can smile. Like she could’ve just said you can breathe or relax but I love the use of “smile” because it says you can be happy

I don’t think Rick has felt he is allowed to or deserves to be happy ever since Negan came along, which is why I love that the one woman who is most capable of making him happy is right here to tell him he can smile because she’s really the only one who could and will convince him that it’s okay to be happy. 

And it made me think about how smiling is probably so uncommon in this new fallen world but, yet again, Michonne is not going to let this world or anyone in it stop her from smiling and going after what they want. She wants Rick to take this moment in and be proud of what they accomplished cuz she knows he doesn’t give himself enough credit. 

I’ve sort of mentioned it before but I really do love how we see R&M’s conversation in the cell still manifest itself even after 7x8. Like that cell conversation wasn’t just some confined separate thing, that was the diving board for them to continue to uplift each other and breathe life into each other from here on out. 

And when Michonne tells him “We can make it. We can.” it just feels like they both know they’re referencing that cell conversation where they acknowledged that the two of them truly have what it takes to make it. They’re acknowledging the “me and you.” I love that Michonne is there to be that voice in Rick’s ear to consistently give him the much needed reminder that they can.

And then as Rick is listening to all this, it’s interesting. I kept wondering what he’s thinking in this moment cuz I notice him sort of look at her and then look away a couple times. But, as I thought about it, I realized that what it probably was is that he’s really fighting to hear her out. 

Like I think in this moment it is so tempting for him to want to beat himself up over this but, even though he feels like he might have been wrong to suggest the car thing, he’s trying very hard to really take Michonne’s words to heart and consider her perspective on it. 

So Michonne sees Rick still fighting to regroup and I love that she pats his shoulder to really get his full attention and I love that he does look back over to her cuz I don’t care how overwhelmed or distraught he is, Rick is always willing to give his attention and focus to her as best as he can. And then she leans in and whispers their motto; “We’re the ones who live.” 

I love how much faith and belief Michonne has in the two of them. And rightfully so. And I love that she reminds Rick of this motto because she means it with all her heart and she wants Rick to really let that sink in. 

She wants him to know that they aren’t going anywhere so long as they keep their focus and determination. And I don’t think “We’re the ones who live” is the equivalent of say something like idk “I don’t die.” for a “hypothetical” example lol. 

To me, their motto is R&M acknowledging that they are the two who have the most well-roundedness to live. They are just as savage as they are caring, and wise, and strategic, and perseverant. And so because of the type of multidimensional balanced fighters they are, they’re very equipped to live and survive in this crazy world.

I love that she gets all up close and personal to tell him this cuz, like I’ve said before, this couple has no qualms with publicly showing affection. Like they are having this personal moment in a full car and Carl’s def in the car too. (Please can season eight have a moment where Carl addresses the Richonne coupling! 🙏🏽 It’s overdue). But anyways, a full car is not about to stop Michonne from being there for her man. 

This moment is so extremely intimate and authentic and I love that we see how good Michonne is at wife duty. Cuz if that wasn’t a wife fully lifting up her husband I don’t know what it is. 

And one thing that was clear to me in this scene was that, Rick is not used to having this kind of love and support. Like the deep, genuine, 100% all natural love and support that Michonne gives him, time and time again, is new territory for him. And it’s so great to know that Michonne is so fit to take care of and be there for this man in a way that only she can. 

And I love that, after she says this, they stay leaning on each other in this moment. Like she stays right there with him cuz she needs him to understand that she is not going anywhere and she and him are alive and well. And you can visibly see him begin to return to some level of calmness as he find his center again.

I feel like there has to be countless times where Rick is just amazed at the catch that he got in finding Michonne. Like she is his rock and his center and his guidance and leader and sanity and just everything pretty much. 

And I love that you can always sense how grateful he is to have her. Like he truly values this woman who sees him and gets him and supports him fully and always. 

Like Michonne saw Rick in need of support and uplifting in this moment and she gave him all that and then some because one; they are so deeply interconnected and two; Michonne always be knowing what to say. 😋 

I appreciate this scene because it was a really passionate and meaningful moment that depicted their deep bond beautifully. (Also this was yet another iconic Richonne car scene! Cars haves blessed us, y’all.) 

There’s a quote that, to me, really depicts Richonne, especially in this scene. It says…

I love that Rick doesn’t just have a woman who stands behind him but who also stands right next to him. And I especially appreciate that right next to him is exactly where he wants her to be. Like they are equals and they can both lead and strengthen each other and here we saw Michonne truly lead and stand right next to her man. 

And what makes Rick so great is that he happily and willingly lets her be his leader, just like she happily and willingly lets him be hers. 

The respect and love and support R&M have for each other is off the charts, y’all. It’s everything. 

And interestingly, as much as Rick seemed out of it in that moment, we learn in the last seconds of the episode, that of course her words seeped into his soul and stayed on his mind. Cuz when he later sees these Yeezy-dressed strangers surround them holding weapons, somehow in the mind of Rick Grimes this is something to smile about lol. So what does he do? 

Exactly what his wife suggested; Smile. 😌

SIDE to the NOTE: Y'all I just have to say…those Entertainment Weekly photos tho!!! 🙊🙈🙌🏾👌🏽👏🏽😊😊😊😭😭😭😭😋😍☺️😇💕🎉🎉🎉🎉👑 

This was literally me when I saw those tonight…

Originally posted by thetrashally

Too good!! Season 8 cannot come soon enough cuz I can’t wait for any new Richonne gold that we can get! So yeah, just thought I’d let y’all know that after seeing those photos this is my current mood rn…

Originally posted by backtothe1990s

Originally posted by loveheadshot7

Sorry to disappoint, but this post?

It’s of Melissa Benoist. 100%. That’s all her.

It is not somehow suddenly Kara Danvers, Melissa wasn’t faking having a positive quality for attention, and she also wasn’t possessed by an angel briefly before returning to a demonic form.


When Kara Danvers steals the last piece of pizza, Alex is mad at Supergirl. 

When Supergirl saves Alex from a dangerous giant slug alien, Alex thanks Kara. 

It would be ridiculous for Alex to separate Kara into two people so she can purely like one and be purely mad at the other, and it’s ridiculous for you to do the same with Melissa.

I know that this is so you can better deal with your feelings about her, so you can confidently consider her “a demon” after what she said, but the truth is, she just… isn’t.

She’s a real person, who does real things you’ll like and real things you’ll hate. 

Just like literally every other person on the planet, including your fave.

Her doing one or two things that are really cute doesn’t erase the negative things she’s done in her life, but likewise, her doing one or two things that are bad doesn’t erase every good quality that she has, either.

(Let it, as always, be noted that I do not think Melissa’s actions were actually homophobic. You can read my initial breakdown here. But even if you disagree, this point still stands on it’s own and is very much intended as a separate argument.)

And since Melissa Benoist- barring one or two instances of moderate concern (neither of which really seem to hint at a problematic worldview internally, which is the part that matters when judging someone)- seems like a pretty good person, it just doesn’t really make sense to vilify her this way.


Tumblr culture, at least this corner of it, has always renounced the concept of binaries, but has also then turned around and confidently dubbed complex topics as simply wholly good or wholly bad.

I think it’s time to challenge binary thinking as a whole.

A black and white worldview combined with compartmentalization (i.e. Melissa is bad but Kara is good) may make it easier for you to internally deal with the world, but that doesn’t mean it’s better.

The same way that stereotypes are initially just our brain’s way of organizing information for the easiest processing of the world, but how it can actually harm our real, nuanced understanding of it.

Life is just more complicated. 

And that’s a good thing! It’s such a good thing!

It means that when someone who you know is a good person does something shitty, you don’t have to let go of that love for them. You don’t have to stop watching a show that otherwise is still a positive force in your life because it screws up. 

You can simply address the ‘transgression’ as best you can and move forward with your life.

It also means that when someone you think is a really bad person does something that’s really good, you’re allowed to see that really good thing as a positive without having to switch how you view them overall.

Even terrible people can do good things! 

Isn’t that kinda great? That goodness can come from anywhere?

It doesn’t necessarily make the person “redeemable,” but that’s not the point. In fact, this thinking can go a long way with regard to the “they’re just misunderstood!” insanity that occurs whenever a serial murderer is nice to someone. 

(Realizing this can also go a long way in not letting people who generally treat you terribly stay in your life because they are also on occasion genuinely kind.)

The point is to not color a person based on singular instances, and to instead see them as they fully are to the best of our ability.

And that’s a huge weight off of all of our shoulders.

Because if everything with a bit of bad becomes bad, if every shadow is pitch black, the world becomes an incredibly dark place very very quickly.

But if you can begin to recognize the subtleties of shadow and brightness in the world, then no matter how dark it truly is, you’ll always be able to find a bit of light.

heatherlanntheclever  asked:

Is there any chance of a happy ending for the Lannisters? I know they are awful people but why develop their motivations and give each of them a genuine moment of compassion if they are just going to murder each other? Every other POV gets a moment of truth/redemption why not the children of Tywin/Patriarchy/Aerys and Disability? I'm a bad person myself so I need to believe the Lions can defy themselves and prophesy and overcome their nature or what's the point? Not all of us are born Starks.

Hey! So it’s gonna take me a few minutes to answer your question, but I promise I’m gonna get there.

In one of the other shows I watch, an actor commented on the banality of evil. He said that evil is something commonplace. Given the right circumstances, great acts of evil could be committed by your neighbors, or your friends, or you, or me. Because evil is so easy. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” You needn’t be a monster like Gregor to commit evil; you need only be human. 

Keep reading

An epic Phan analysis awaits.

So. Yes. *Ahem* This is a bit nerve-wracking because of the comments I might get (but tbh I have a rubbish number of followers so it’ll probably just get ignored), so yeah. (long I’m sorry oh god I’m a nerd)

Here it is.

I love Dan and Phil. Like I actually, truly care about them in way that I’ve never cared for celebrities or internet stars ever before. Why? Because I can feel the love between them, and I know they are genuinely good people. I’m also their age (right between, actually). I can relate to their experiences, both of them. They click with me.

I also wholeheartedly believe that Phan is real. (well, no one can be sure, but I would bet a helluva lot of money on it). If you’d like to read my ramblings why, feel free! Or just keep scrolling and avoid my madness, idc. I’d understand.

Before I start, listen. I don’t really “ship” people. Not that I see anything wrong with it, but I just don’t - especially not couples that I don’t believe are possibly canon. It’s never appealed to me. This might be because I’m 26 years old and totally missed a ton of internet cultureguys, I was in high school when YouTube came out in 2005, so… The only other couple I have ever shipped was Brolin/Merthur because it seemed sooo plausible. I root for canon relationships in shows. That’s just me, but I don’t judge others! I’m totally a fangirl regardless.

For some background on me, not that it really matters, I have two bachelor’s degrees, a Master’s degree, and have just applied to PhD programs. I have traveled alone around the world and lived and worked in various countries, so it’s safe to say I’ve witnessed a lot of human behavior and interactions. I have also been in my fair share of relationships, had best friends that doubled as roommates, and even been in a secret “friends-with-benefits” sort of situation that escalated into more because I realized that I can’t, apparently, separate sex from emotion for very long (and I’m not convinced this is possible for any extended period, but I could just be a hopeless sap). I’m not saying that I know anything more than teenagers do. I’m a teacher. I respect teenagers. I just want to take preemptive measures in order to avoid arguments against me accusing me of being young/naive, because I’m neither of those things.

These are some facts that stand out about Dan and Phil that I just can’t rationalize if they’re platonic (though, again, I’m not some all-knowing oracle and could be wrong). I feel weird putting so much time and investment into such a creepy detailed relationship analysis, and have been avoiding it, but they’ve pulled me in… and I’m also starting to get really annoyed by all of the poorly-informed and thought-through debates that focus more heavily on opinions than facts. The real truth is that NO ONE KNOWS THE NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. But I do think we can make a pretty educated guess. And here are the truths on which I’ve based mine.

1) They have never stated that they’re straight, so it’s wrong to assume as much. Even if we try to be fair and ignore old Formspring answers, we have no reason to believe that they’re hetero; all we know for sure is that Dan “likes vagina” (and also Evan Peters). Bi-erasure is so commonly talked about on tumblr that I’m sure you all understand this already, but it drives me crazy when some people spout out things like “They’ve repeatedly said they’re straight and not together, GAWD!!!” just… no. No, they haven’t. Why do people ignore Dan’s constant comments about guys being attractive? Phil’s much more quiet on the matter, but we all know what he’s admitted in the past (and he was in his 20s at the time, much older than Dan was when he claimed he often lied to get attention, and was probably much less likely to say anything untrue). Also, straight people don’t generally have problems admitting that they’re straight when asked. It’s quite telling that they haven’t.

2) They haven’t openly denied being in a relationship in YEARS. (A surprised Dan telling a phangirl no when she asked him on the street and a mouthed “no” at TATINOF don’t count, because what else was he supposed to do? But remember that the “no” did, apparently, follow a wink, so make of that what you will.) Why wouldn’t they put the phans to rest and just say “No, we’re not together” if they’re not? I refuse to believe that they’re simply manipulating us to believe in Phan in order to increase their views and popularity. If people believe that this is, in fact, what they’re doing, okay. Maybe it is. Maybe I am naive after all. I just think that they are better people than that, and if that were their intention, it would be played up much more than it is. Despite accusations of queer baiting, they’re actually very tame around each other. (I’ll get to that later).

3) They avoid stating that they’re single, at least in those exact words. Look at Jameela on BBC1 asking if they were and both just awkwardly laughing and Dan saying “Is it that obvious?” That’s evasion. So was their answer to the American radio interviewer who asked if they were married (awkward laughs and ”Don’t ask me about the future” instead of simple denial) or Phil reassuring a viewer of his live show that it was okay to be single without saying “I am too, I get you!” Not definitive in and of itself, but surely indicative of something.

4) If Dan and Phil were mixed-sex, ie if one of them were female, it would be much more difficult to argue that they’re platonic because of the whole “straight people of the opposite sex can’t just be friends OMG there’s always attraction there” (despite the fact that this isn’t necessarily true, it’s a common belief). Just an observation. So if two potentially gay/bi/pan guys live together, doesn’t that at least create a scenario of possible mutual attraction? At the very very least. Start to put these numbered points together, guys.

5) People wonder why, if they’re both gay/bi/pan (or even if just one of them is), they’ve never officially come out. That seems clear to me, and it’s also another reason I believe in Phan. If either one were to reveal his sexuality, it would immediately put pressure on the other to make a similar declaration, or at least to handle a bunch of invasive, personal questions. It would also basically force an official relationship confirmation or denial just because their audience would be relentless, and avoiding the questions would be just as telling tbh (as it already is now but x100). The best way to protect their relationship is to avoid stating anything concrete about their sexualities, though I do believe (or hope) that the hints we’ve been getting might be a gradual, unofficial coming out that won’t require any public declaration. If they weren’t together, Dan and Phil strike me as the kind of people who would have come out a while ago, especially Dan, since Phil is more naturally private.

6) I hate dredging up Dan and Phil’s private and largely deleted past, so I’ll just be general, but come on. Over the years, they’ve left a trail of evidence indicating a relationship so irrefutable that they’d be found guilty in a court of law if they were trying to defend their platonic-ness (if this makes sense).  At the very least they’ve created reasonable doubt that should mean anyone with common sense should be able to admit that a long-term relationship is a distinct possibility. And no one can tell me that the V-Day video was a prank. It’s much too genuine, detailed, and heartfelt, and not funny at all - shouldn’t pranks be funny?

7) There’s just the constant feeling that they’re hiding something and avoiding the elephant in the room. Sure, they play up Phan a bit now, at least more than they ever have, but in the big picture, they’re such small things. The occasional innuendo. Hands-on-heart. “Ironically” written vampire phanfiction (but goodness if that didn’t tell us how strong Dan’s emotions really are for Phil). We have ONE on-camera hug between them in SIX YEARS (2 if you count the tackle at the end of PINOF, and it was completely spontaneous). Yes, they always sit close together (their default, I think, which just shows their fondness for each other), but they generally avoid open touching that isn’t a pat on the back. And people think they’re queer baiting? I think the opposite. They know how to make fans happy, but they’re not going to make a total mockery of Phan and the idea of a physical relationship because it would turn their love into a joke. It actually makes me sad to look at collabs Dan especially has had with others because he is so much more unabashedly physical - hugging Caspar twice in their video and joking about him getting a boner because of it, touching hands with Tyler and saying that his crouching friend looked like he was giving him a bj, even Phil skipping around and holding hands with Dean was something he never would have done with Dan. Why? There’s clearly something to hide. Doing those things with each other, taking their affection up a notch, would increase speculation that might force a coming out, even though all of it was clearly a joke with other people. It’s sad they can’t just be themselves. They don’t even say very affectionate things (though we can feel the love through the screen in other ways, and the “I hate you’s” and “You’re the worst person in the world’s” carry a lot of subtext). I just think of Joe hugging Caspar from the back around the shoulders and saying “I’m so proud of you” in Caspar’s 5 million subs video. D&P don’t do that.

8) They just don’t act like roommates. It’s true that there’s not one “right” way to do anything, but look at other YouTube co-inhabiting duos. Joe and Caspar, for example. Yes, they’re shipped together, but so is basically everyone. They laugh about it. They’re very, very touchy with each other (*ahem* because they’re not hiding anything *ahem*). Their apartment doesn’t feel like  home, and they don’t seem to have many shared possessions. No one thinks that they’ll live together forever. Even Ian and Anthony moved into their own places, and stayed that way after splitting from their girlfriend/fiance. Why? Because they were financially independent and secure and wanted to start their own separate lives. Even if their friendship is as strong as ever, that’s all it is, a friendship. There’s just no great reason to have a platonic roommate for much longer than Dan and Phil have for anyone else in a similar position, especially since they’re both creeping out of their 20s and might naturally want to get their own place and look for a partner to settle down with. They’ve already done that. I think that if they live together for even one or two more years, that’s basically confirmation. Dan even said in the TABINOF audiobook “What if we ever don’t live together?” Not “when”, but “if”. 

9) Can we stop talking about 2012? Aside from Dan’s snarky denial comments on tumblr and some scattered live show moments, we have no idea what happened. He’s lied about plenty (both of them, for example, have changed their origin story multiple times, despite the fact that real phans know the truth, which not only indicates that they’re hiding something, but that they’re willing to lie to protect themselves for whatever the reason may be). If anything, I think Dan’s actions were of a protective person trying desperately to hide something important to him, especially because the video leaking had to have really hurt Phil - he wanted to protect Phil, and he didn’t care if he had to lie to do so. Moving further apart on camera may simply have been a way to keep their relationship personal and not for our consumption, to not make the same mistake again. If the video were a prank, and if Phan weren’t real, I don’t think he would have gotten so angry and defensive. A break up is definitely possible for around that time, which seems to be many people’s headcanon, but I just don’t buy it. Why would Dan have moved in with Phil that same year? I would never want to live with my ex, though I guess anything’s possible. 

10) Just look at everything. All of it. The whole picture. Not just what I’ve said above, but the shared vacations. The movie premieres. THE FACT THAT WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER ROMANTIC PARTNERS FOR EITHER OF THEM IN 6 YEARS (and the phandom would have discovered this, no doubt). Their clear and obvious love, fondness, loyalty, mutual understanding, and even co-dependence. Dan’s occasional displays of jealousy in live shows. Little slip-ups that have gotten past (”the bedroom”, Dan’s duvet on Phil’s bed in the prank video and the pillows set up for two), sneaking off together at parties, never getting sick of each other. And yes, the old tweets and Formsprings, though I hope I’ve kept this analysis somewhat minimally invasive (we all know what tweets I’m talking about).

In conclusion? I would be much more surprised if they’re not together than if they are. 

But really… I just want them both to be happy. Their relationship is goals either way. Let’s leave them alone, stop arguing, and admit that we don’t know. They’ll tell us if they want to, or if not. (but I sure hope so)

anonymous asked:

Human crush is responsible and patient. The boys went on a mission and did something so reckless it could have cost their lives. Human crush confronted them about but the boys complained the mission is a success. Human crush finally snaps at them and told them " I already lost someone I love due to cancer. I love you idiot too much to lose you cuz of you being stupid!" How does mtmte Rodimus, Whirl, tfp Smokescreen and Wheeljack react to this?

Ah yes. The Young and The Reckless™

{MTMTE}

Rodimus
”I already lost someone I love! I don’t want to lose you too, idiot!”

He jumps and his usual confident smile falls completely as he stares at you, concerned and confused. You never scream. Ever. And then you’re crying and he’s scrambling.  

“No no no! Don’t do that! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He quickly picks you up in his servo and looks at you seriously. “You’re right, you’re right. I was reckless, I should have been more careful. I’m sorry I scared you.” He says gently as you try and wipe away the tears.

He spends quite a bit of time trying to make it up to you and his mind is different going into battle. He has to come back to you, no matter what.

Whirl
”I already lost someone because of cancer, don’t make me watch you leave me too! I couldn’t stand you, you idiot!”

You’re shouting ticks him off, he’s a big bot, he can take care of himself. Then you’re crying and he feels like a piece of shit, which pisses him off more. Instead of trying to make you feel better, his anger gets the better of him and he snaps at you, “Maybe you shouldn’t care then! I live and die by reckless behavior!” And he leaves.

It’s a long while before either of you talk to each other again, and he sort of apologizes. Really he just says, “Hey thanks for worrying about me, even though it’s dumb.” It’s good enough and you forgive him.

It’s hard to tell, but he really does go into fights with the mindset that he actually has to come out alive.

{TFP}

Smokescreen
”Stop being like this! You’re putting everyone in danger, especially yourself! I don’t want to lose you like I lost my aunt!”

He stares at you for a long time, completely taken aback. Usually only the other bots shout at him for being the way he is, but this time… It was you. It hurts. Primus not as much as seeing you cry does though. He shakes his helm, “You’re right, you’re right! I’m sorry. I… I should think more. I have a processor I should pretend I know how to use it.” He smiles a bit when a watery laugh comes from you as you wipe your eyes.

He lifts you up and places you on his shoulder so you can gently place your forehead to his cheekplates. He apologizes again and promises he’ll figure out how to stop acting like he doesn’t have any sense.

And bless his hear does he try. He’s just… Not very good at it. He’s doing his best.

Wheeljack
“You’re so… so stupid, Wheeljack! You could have died! I don’t want to lose someone else! I don’t want to lose you!”

He snaps back almost immediately, “Then maybe you should stop caring,” and immediately regrets that he even has the ability to speak. He shakes his helm before storming out, ignroing the fact that your crying. It’s up to another bot to try and help you feel better.

It’s a long time, maybe even a full day, before Wheeljack shows back up. He’s not at all surprised by the amount of pissed and unimpressed looks he’s getting. He ignores them and goes straight to you. He doesn’t beat around the bush, apologizing for making such an ass of himself.

It takes a bit, but you come around to forgiving him, especially since he seemed genuinely apologetic and, while still reckless, takes in mind that he has to come back to you alive.

thehemingwaygoldfish  asked:

Okay, girl *cracks knuckles* Talk to me about Theo. What? Why? How? What's going on with the boy? I love Cody Christian and I was fascinated with Theo in the previous seasons. Do gush, please!

(I already typed an entire essay on this and then I accidentally clicked the back button!! TT______________________TT *bawling forever*)

“Do gush, please!” – Girl you just know the right words to say to me. Also, by gush you mean go completely crazy though, right? Cause I did 😁

A little background though; I stopped watching the show during season 4, and I only just started because it’s ending and just for old times sake. I know roughly about what happened with Theo in season 5, Cody is pretty and I could understand his inclusion into Jeff Davis’s infamous harem of pretty boys, but that’s about it.

The thing about me is that I’m a sucker for villain redemption arcs, it’s like the blood that courses through my veins, and not many villain redemption arcs has been as amazing or well done as Theo’s, and that’s a credit to Cody’s acting; he does things with his eyes in scenes and words are just not needed. I only give Jeff maybe 40 percent of the credit because he does this thing where he writes these amazing scenes and teases these amazing story lines that never end up going anywhere. But it’s a credit to Cody that he’s managed to convey so much of Theo’s recently recovered humanity with what little scenes he’s had.

Which brings me to what I’ve realized with Theo through this season, I don’t know if it’s in the previous season as well, but obviously was Theo truly wants is to be part of a pack. He wants that camaraderie and to feel like he belongs and to have people there who wants him there and who will have his back. Liam wanted Theo’s help when he released him from the hole and what Theo needed was Liam’s friendship. And in their own very violent ways, I think they both got maybe more than they bargained for.

As I’ve mentioned earlier; Jeff Davis isn’t a terrible writer, Jeff tries to do too much with the little time he has and everything just ends up crashing and burning. But when we look closely at the small bits of writing where he’s good, he’s actually really good, and the characters he creates are fun and interesting – too bad he ends up not taking advantage of that like 90 percent of the time. It’s very apparent with Theo’s arc as well. He teased these little bits of information and completely forgets about it in the next scene, or its not brought up again, one such thing is what exactly happened to Theo when he was in that hole (hell?).

They kind of hint at what happened to him, but it’s up to us to make our own judgement; ultimately it’s implied that he spent however long he did down in that hole being tormented by the ghost of his dead sister and living through the agony and fear of her ripping his heart out of his chest over and over again for eternity. The scene itself is played on repeat for nearly 5 minutes and it ends with Theo saying, “It’s okay…you don’t have to stop.” Which is a heart wrenching line of itself, but with Cody’s delivery; the way his voice kind of breaks and the tears in his eyes and the genuine sadness and resignation on his face – that just fucking killed me and my soul was officially sold to Theo and Cody.

It then it immediately cuts the scene which was the ending scene of the last episode, in which Malia and Scott return to face the newly freed Theo for the first time, and the scene that immediately follows Theo’s hallucination, as he comes back to himself, is Malia beating the crap out of him. He doesn’t seem to really realize where he was in that scene and he actually says the words, “It’s okay…you don’t have to stop,” to Malia. *screeching squeal that is hear from across the oceans*.

But in true Jeff Davis style, that bit is never addressed and that scene is never mentioned again. It’s shaded in the hospital scene with Liam but nothing really comes of it. Which just breaks my little Theo-loving writers heart.

To quote the person who posted this gifset: ‘He loses his heart. And finds it at the same time.’ *cue a thousand fangirl screams sounding in the background*

This is from episode 18 (cause Cody and Theo didn’t appear in episode 19 which is the biggest travesty of all) and I think it shows just how far he’s really come. We’ve seen his character development when with Liam, mainly because Liam is the person who released him and the first person to show him genuine friendship. He doesn’t owe Mason anything but he saved him more than once in that scene and then actually tries to take away his pain when he didn’t have to. No one would have known and no one would have expected it. That comment Mason made though leads me to believe that this will be brought up in the finale again where he’ll show people *coughLiamcough* that he does care and bringing his development and redemption full circle from being someone who caused pain, to someone willing to take it away from others. Excuse me while I weep for a bit.

Here are more example of how far Theo has come as a character and in his friendship with Liam: when he stopped Liam from killing an asshole in a way that’s 100 percent Theo.

Also, in episode 12 we learn that Theo is homeless and living in his truck (his parents are never mentioned again, though I assume they’ve amscrayed the fuck out of Beacon Hills) and in that scene, another 5 minute scene of Cody Christian with almost zero dialogue in which everything is conveyed through his body language and his eyes alone. What I saw in that scene was someone who was just lonely but also still proud, not wanting to go asking Scott for help even when something suspicious happened. Also as this post made into a short drabble, another heart wrenching Theo scene giving me all the fucking feels.

And just… this, girl.

(x)

I should stop now probably. In conclusion, stalk this person’s tumblr girl, you will not regret it. I discovered it like 2 hours ago and I have done nothing of use irl since.

The end.

Pinky Promise (pt. 1 of my Le Duo verse)

Pairing(s): Luke Evans/Josh Gad

Summary: Luke isn’t intimidated by a simple babysitting gig, okay? He really isn’t. He’s performed live in front of massive audiences on West End and seen his face on the big screen all around the world. Needless to say, he’s definitely not scared of some little girls. Especially not Josh Gad’s adorable little girls. Nope, not scared at all.

***

The front door is pretty average; tall and sturdy and probably a little expensive, but plain. Certainly nothing to be intimidated by. Except that Luke knows the man of his dreams is just behind that door. And with him, his beautiful wife and two daughters. God, he really should just turn around and feign some deadly illness because the whole situation is too absurd.

When Josh had asked him for a favor, Luke had foolishly agreed without knowing anything, jumping at any opportunity to please like an overeager puppy. He hadn’t realized that the favor would involve going just long enough without seeing Josh to make Luke really miss him and then sleeping over at Josh’s house with the two most important little people in his friend’s life. It was all a giant domestic tease that Luke wasn’t sure he could handle.

Luke never thought that he would be trying to get into Gaston’s headspace outside of shooting Beauty and the Beast (because really, who would willingly put themselves in that guy’s headspace for any other reason?), but he found himself taking out his phone and pulling up the camera app, trying to let courage show through his eyes on the screen as he channeled his character’s outrageous self-confidence.

“You are Luke Evans, and you are clever, kind, and incredibly fun to be around. You are the perfect babysitter, and you have noth
ing to worry about.”

He cocked an eyebrow for effect, starting to feel even less self-assured at how silly he looked, when he heard the door unlatch. He immediately shoved his phone in his pocket and felt heat rising to his cheeks as the door swung open and he looked up into Josh’s amused eyes.

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What I like and dislike about each type
  • Warning: I'm very straightforward with this and aim to be as honest as possible. Also, these are my own perceptions and may not be prominent in all individuals of the type so take it with a grain of salt. With that said, you're always free to send anonymous hate mail in my ask box if you're not happy.
  • What I like about ISTPs: You're too cool. How do you do that nonchalant "I'm effortlessly good at everything" -attitude floating around you? You're also so quick to act in sudden situations, your reflexes are excellent.
  • What I dislike about ISTPs: You do care about things so stop pretending you don't. You fool no one and it's embarrassing to watch. Showing some sentiment doesn't equal being weak, everyone else gets that so why don't you?
  • What I like about ESTPs: How do you notice everything? Of all the types, you're possibly the most observant and objective about your observations. I admire your straightforward way of communicating.
  • What I dislike about ESTPs: You're too competitive. For fuck's sake, it's only a game. Grow up and stop throwing temper tantrums whenever someone's better than you at something.
  • What I like about INTPs: How can you know so much about everything? You're like an information sponge who can glance at an issue and take in the most vital parts in two seconds and then move on to something else that's interesting.
  • What I dislike about INTPs: Your passive and cynical attitude towards life borders ridiculous. You don't get to spend your life putting absolutely zero effort into your ambitions and then mope about how your life is wasting away. It doesn't work that way so grow up and start taking some initiative.
  • What I like about ENTPs: You're ridiculously good at brainstorming. If I run into a wall with something, you guys are the people I'd ask for help in order to find a solution outside the box.
  • What I dislike about ENTPs: Learn how to filter your speech at times. Yeah, freedom of speech and all but it doesn't mean you have to pay absolutely zero attention to what you let out of your big mouth. Some jokes are just in bad taste.
  • What I like about INFPs: You're imaginative and mentally very strong. You have no issue to stand up for something you believe in and God help the person who's in your way of setting things right.
  • What I dislike about INFPs: Everyone is not targeting you in particular and criticism is not always voiced solely for the purpose of offending you. Learn not to take everything so damn personally.
  • What I like about ENFPs: You're so much fun to be around. How can your humor be so out there yet spot on? A social gathering without an ENFP is like a bath without bubbles.
  • What I dislike about ENFPs: Pick up after yourself every now and then. I know mess doesn't probably bother you as much as many other types but it's a part of common courtesy not to leave your stuff around for everyone else to clean. It's disgusting.
  • What I like about ISFPs: You're genuinely a warm and interesting person to be around. Your shyness mixed with your observant nature and thirst for new experiences is very charming.
  • What I dislike about ISFPs: Stop being such a doormat. You have a tendency for self-sacrifice, doing things you don't want to do for people who really don't want or need you to do it for them and then wallow in how much you don't want to do it. This is not the Bible and you're not a martyr so grow a backbone.
  • What I like about ESFPs: You're so set on enjoying life to the fullest. How can you turn everything into a fun experience like that? You're so observant and know how to have fun.
  • What I dislike about ESFPs: Learn the meaning of personal space. I know you're genuinely interested in people but if they wish to be left alone, respect that. Plus, don't get so touchy if someone doesn't want to spend time with you every now and then. It doesn't mean they hate you.
  • What I like about ISFJs: How can you have so much compassion? It's like you instinctively understand everyone around you. I admire the way you withhold judgment when dealing with people.
  • What I dislike about ISFJs: Stop being such a worrywart. The world will not fall apart even if you're not there to take care of everything. Your fussiness can be so damn annoying sometimes.
  • What I like about ESFJs: You're the queen bee. How can you be so popular with so little effort? You know how to make friends and how to handle different people. You're so likable it's almost ridiculous.
  • What I dislike about ESFJs: Stop worrying about conflicts so much. It's not the end of the world to be in bad relations with someone. Not everyone will be your friend, learn to live with that.
  • What I like about ISTJs: You're so dependable. It's programmed in your system to work hard and expect little in return. Your loyalty and dedication is moving.
  • What I dislike about ISTJs: You're too judgmental. Don't jump to conclusions so much and learn how to listen to opposing views. They have a point sometimes, you know.
  • What I like about ESTJs: You're no-nonsense and I admire that. You know how to handle matters impersonally and efficiently. You see what needs to be done and do it.
  • What I dislike about ESTJs: You're too bossy sometimes. Stop measuring other people's worth by how well they perform and learn to cut some slack at times.
  • What I like about INTJs: You set a goal and keep pushing until you make it. You're a true achiever and have excellent self-discipline. You know what you want and if you don't know how to get it, you find out.
  • What I dislike about INTJs: Hold back with the superiority complex a bit won't you? There's a difference between being proud of your accomplishments and just being a smug asshole.
  • What I like about ENTJs: You know how to be smooth. You have strong communication skills and people follow you instinctively. You naturally seem like someone who always knows what they're doing.
  • What I dislike about ENTJs: You're too dominant. You can't control everyone and everything and it's really annoying when you try to do that. Also, keep your jealousy in check, other people's achievements are not indicators of your incapability.
  • What I like about INFJs: You have a unique worldview and see connections other people might miss entirely. Even if not religious, you still have this spiritual aura about you.
  • What I dislike about INFJs: Try to get rid of your special snowflake complex. You're not inherently different from everyone else, you're just about the only person who doesn't realize everyone's quirky in their own way and you're not more so than the others.
  • What I like about ENFJs: How can you be such a good mediator? You're like the best person to be in the middle of two people fighting, you know how to help people compromise and live in harmony.
  • What I dislike about ENFJs: Stop the humble bragging. Seriously, I get that you're proud of your good deeds but making sure everyone knows what a good person you are kinda eats away at the authenticity of it all. Plus it's embarrassing.
inheritance

idk i was in a weird mood tonight yall, sorry. Here there be sad.


Ace pulls his hand away from his mouth and rubs it on his shorts without looking. “Call,” he says. “And no, I’ve never played poker before.”

“Sure you haven’t,” Atmos says, throwing down his cards in disgust. “Fold.”

Ace hums happily and all eyes move to Rakuyo, who’s chewing on his lip. Rakuyo looks up at Ace, back to his cards, and then huffs. “Got nothing,” he says, tossing his own cards, and Ace beams and collects the pot.

“You’ve obviously played poker before,” Thatch complains, gathering the cards up again. “You’re way too good at it.”

“Beginner’s luck?” Ace says with a little grin, then plants both hands on the table and stands up. “And on that note, I’m leaving before I run out of it.”

Rakuyo makes a grumbling noise and Atmos gathers up the remains of his winnings. Thatch bridges the cards and glances up at Ace, who’s still leaning on the table. “You okay there, champ?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Thanks for the game, guys!” He turns and brings up his hand, shoulders shaking just a bit, and Thatch frowns.

“Hey, you fleeced us; you don’t get to laugh at us, too!” he calls after him, and Ace just swings out his hand in vague acknowledgement and meanders on.

“Ugh,” says Atmos. “I’m never playing with him again. I can’t tell when he’s bluffing.”

“I think he’s always bluffing,” Thatch says sourly. “Another hand, gentlemen?”

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anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm just asking, but what are your main OTPS for LR, and why do you ship them?

Oh man i don’t want to turn this into a sermon so I’ll try to make it short. I’ve got 5 main ships with canon characters and 1 with an OC of mine.

Rorissa

Rorak is an OC of mine that is a childhood friend of Carissa. He’s a huge, hairy, soft boy who can probably snap a mountain in half with his bare hand but bOI he soff for Cari and he thinks she super precious. Carissa is very in your face and abrasive in personality so she tends to struggle with relationships because people find her to be too much. Finding out Rorak was crushing on her since they were kids was beyond flattering and they generally enjoy each other’s company. Iris helped give Rorak the courage to confess and honestly I should work with them a little more.

Levyna

Lev and Lyna would be that Vegeta/Bulma type of ship or like Green Arrow/Black Canary. He’s the rebellious, bad boy thief and she’s the pretty, prissy femme princess. Like that just really appeals to me. I feel like they would constantly be sassing the heck out of each other, but at the same time, Lev would be surprised by Lyna’s kindness and elegance, while being attracted to her wit and challenging nature. The idea of Lev being a “dirty, shady, lying” thief to her but she just can’t resist the temptation because god he’s cute and she loves one upping him is just fun. Also they’d be that constantly judging couple that side eyes everyone and gossips at dinner like nobody’s business. Totally the ones to get busted making out at a ball after arguing over the decor.

Nathiris

They’re just so good for each other. They don’t try to change each other or judge each other harshly. Nat is super understanding with her, and he always gives her the benefit of the doubt. People claim its boring, but who doesn’t want a relationship built on understanding, compassion, and healthy growth. Nat is one of the most influential and important people in Iris’ life, and they’ve been there for each other since they were kids. Their love has yet to waiver. Auriana was right! It’s true love! For more on them, click here: HERE there’s some gifs too!

Matriana/AuriMatt

Honestly I love these precious kids and its my favorite Auriana ship to this date. Not only is Matt a good person, he’s genuinely interested in Auriana not just for her beauty, but her personality and brains. The same is mutual for Auriana. While we see her like boys for being good looking or creative, Matt is this cute, normal STEM kid who loves to talk about dinosaurs. Not only does he give her fond memories of earth, but Ephedia/Volta as well. For more on my feelings on the click HERE

Zaxina

Originally posted by kireiscorner

I know this fandom has this “its not in the show so you have no reason to ship it” mentality going on from time to time bUT HELL I SHIP THEM HARD. I honestly adore these two together. THIS was my first time explaining them, but after my 3 years of being a LoliRocker, I’ve had time to dig a little deeper. One, I love the bad girl good boy trope. They remind me a lot of Beck and Jade from Victorious, though Zack isn’t as edgy as Beck is. He’s preppy, good-natured and he tries to follow the rules. Praxina is devious, dark, and sultry, constantly defying the world and ready to cut down anyone in her way. However, Zack’s life is constantly being decided for him, and he’s expected to act a certain way and to take on things he isn’t interested in. He’s expected to always do good, and to make his parents proud. Praxina is expected to do what she’s told, even when it isn’t in her best interest. She has hardly any freedoms, and I hc she had a rough upbringing after the twins lost their parents. They balance each other out in many ways and I like to think Zack prefers dominant, mysterious women over cutesy, angelic ones. I think he’d see that Prax needs someone who won’t abandon her and appreciates her good and bad. I also think Zack wouldn’t put up with her being cruel and nasty and would call her on that just like he told Iris that she can’t fix everything. I also can see Prax pushing Zack to do what he wants and to become the man he wants to be for himself. She also wouldn’t let him sulk like a kicked puppy in the middle of a smoothie bar. If you look through the tag you can find some super cute headcanon and fics.

Talisto

Okay. Here’s the big dog around campus. My OTP. I don’t think I’ve ever invested in as much work and love into a ship like I’ve done Talisto. I love them so much. They got me through some of the hardest times in my life. They still do. And fans of the ship have helped me pull this baby out of the port and into the high seas like nobody’s business. I’ve been asked this often so I have some answers  HERE and HERE. Sorry they’re a little long but I just can’t express how much I love it. Its complex, constantly changing, and would require a deep level of love, understanding, and forgiveness for both sides. Not only that, but this is a relationship that would have to overcome a lot or differences. Its evolving, its passionate, and it has so much potential. Who needs canon when we have imagination. The amount of work I’ve seen come out of this fandom for these two character, who are on totally opposite sides of the spectrum, always makes me think of the two in some new interesting way. I love the idea of Talia, the cold, strict and loyal princess falling for an absolute dork she deemed embarrassing and seeing him to be something worth while. I adore the idea of Mephisto slowly seeing how amazing Talia is and realizing she has so much love to give. The idea of these two finding understanding within each other and opening up a whole new world together is so wonderful. Their families have been broken, and these kids have been through so much. There’s just something about them all coming together and becoming a family; finding love. That’s so special to me.

I’ll stop here because I’m getting in waaaay to deep. I hope this helped you in some way anon!

Shoes - Part 3


It was a half hour after the intruder alert went off that Toshinori found himself in front of the Class 1-A dorm. He wore his usual yellow striped suit, though it hung on him loosely. Many of his students were still getting accustomed to his True Form, and anything familiar seemed to help them, if only marginally. At the moment, the students’ reactions to him were the last thing on Toshinori’s mind. His thoughts were back in the room where he had left the intruder.  

Toshinori had been the third to report to the waiting area where those trying to break into the school were detained. It was where they were either allowed short interviews or held until police arrived to escort them away from U.A. property. Shouta Aizawa had been the first to arrive, naturally, to neutralize the intruder if he became violent. Principal Nedzu had been the second and was the one who called Toshinori. After a brief explanation of the intruder’s claims, Toshinori could understand why the principal wanted him to be the one to talk to the man.

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an update (a breakthrough!) about the situation with my therapist

After months of struggling with the relationship with my therapist (feeling too attached to her), I can finally say that I’ve had a breakthrough in the search for the answer to the question of why I’m experiencing so much transference with her!

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The Living Ghost (part 4/4)

(CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR TEG)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Fic info: takes place right after The Empty Grave. Rating: General. Pairings: Lockwood/Lucy and Holly/her ‘flatmate’. Ao3 link: here

I leave for one minute and you let me get nicked again.

“You were gone for a week!”

Yeah, whatever. Some friend you are.”

Lucy comes home to find the skull missing. On their quest to get him back, Lockwood & Co. discover that the secret to eternal youth might not have been the only thing the Orpheus Society were striving towards.


Part 4 – New Member

DEPRAC arrived sooner than expected; it turned out Jake had heard the cacophony of explosions and gunfire from his cab and contacted them. They had brought ambulances with them, and paramedics were now tending to Holly’s arm and Kipps, who had managed to rip some of his stitches.

“You lot just can’t keep out of trouble, can you?” said Barnes, grumpily.

“You know us, Inspector!” Lockwood said, cheerfully.

Barnes gave an illegible grumble, then raised an eyebrow at Skull who was slouching in the seat on my left. Barnes looked him up and down and grimaced. I could understand his disgust; aside from Skull’s ragged clothes and bare feet, he was covered in grime and his hair seemed to be spiked with mud and grease, obscuring its natural colour. “New member?” he asked.

“Yes!” Lockwood announced. “This is…”

“Jim!” George supplied, and I felt Skull tense up beside me.

Barnes nodded with a sigh. “Good luck, Jim,” he said, before moving off to deal with the arrests.

I turned to George. “Jim?”

“Oh! Didn’t I tell you?” said George, shooting a grin at the Skull who glowered in return. “I did some research into Bickerstaff’s associates after we found out what our good friend really looked like. He matched the description of a serving boy named Jim Walker. Sound familiar, Jim?”

‘Jim’ crossed his arms and muttered something that was most likely death threats.

“’Jim’,” I repeated, laughing; I had a feeling he’d never really forgotten his name.

“What’s wrong with ‘Jim’?” Skull demanded.

“Nothing,” I said, still snickering. “I just figured you’d have a cool name, like ‘Dexter’ or ‘Sebastian’ or something.”

“Your taste in names is questionable,” he told me. “And what about Jim Moriarty?!”

“Pretty sure he went by ‘James’,” I replied. “Plus, he had a cool surname. Yours is kind of common. Just ’Walker’.”

“Jimothy Walker,” said Lockwood, grinning gleefully.

“Jimbob Walker,” George added, snorting.

“I could kill you both in a second,” Skull reminded them, shortly. They shut up pretty quick after that.

Holly wandered over to us, her arm now bandaged and in a sling, and took a seat next to George. “They’ve taken Quill to hospital,” she informed us, “and I have to check in tomorrow, but I’ve managed to get away for now.”

There was suddenly a shout from across the room. “Holly! What have they done to you?!”

A girl in a DEPRAC uniform and a midnight blue hijab ran over and flung herself down next to Holly, gently taking her hands.

Holly laughed. “I’m fine, babe. Nothing to worry about.” She turned to the rest of us. “Hey, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Rani. Rani, these are my colleagues from Lockwood & Co.”

“I’ve heard all about you!” said Rani, smiling broadly at us. “Lockwood, Lucy and George, right? And… uh…”

“This is Jim,” I said, patting Skull’s leg as he gave me a dirty look. “He’s new.”

“Lovely to meet you, Jim,” Rani said, oblivious to the death glare Skull was shooting her way. “Anyway –” She turned back to Holly – “I’ve got to go, babe. You’ve caused such a mess.”

“Hey!” Holly protested. “That wasn’t all my fault!”

“Sure,” said Rani, tusking jokily as she got up to leave. “But just so you know, if you get into any more fights, I’m gonna have to divorce you.”

“We’re not married!” Holly called after her, laughing.

Rani turned back to her, just before she disappeared back into the crowd of DEPRAC operatives, and cupped her hands over her mouth. “One day, babe!” she called.

Holly leant back in her seat with a stupid grin on her face and rosy cheeks. It was nice to see her so happy. I wondered if I’d ever have a relationship like that, then I blushed at the thought; Lockwood was sitting on my right, his knee pressed against my leg, his hand set casually between us so his fingers brushed mine.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Holly,” Lockwood mused.

“Lockwood, I told you about her, remember?” Holly chided. “When you asked me if I wanted to move in and I said, ‘no thanks, I’m living with my girlfriend’.”

“Ohh,” said Lockwood. “You meant you were living with your girlfriend, not female friend.”

“Lockwood…” Holly started, then sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Always oblivious, this one,” said Skull.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lockwood demanded.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Are you not weirded out by two girls in a relationship?” I asked, suddenly curious.

“Oh, please,” said Skull. “Like we didn’t have lesbians in the old days.”


We got home a little after 9 pm, after a lot of questioning from DEPRAC, lying from us, and George running off for some reason.

“Oh,” said George, just as I was about to push open the door, “I should probably mention, I called my mum to meet us here.”

“What? Why?” I exclaimed. George’s mum was lovely and everything, but to be honest, after the day I’d had, I just wanted to relax with my friends.

“Well, she’s a doctor, remember?” George answered. “I figured she could give Jim a little check-up. Make sure everything’s tip-top. He did just come back from the dead after all.”

“This is for your scientific research, isn’t it?” Skull groaned.

“Might have something to do with that.”

“Fine,” said Skull. “Let’s just get this over with. I can always smother you in your sleep later.”

I pushed open the door, ignoring George’s squeak of protest, and was immediately met with the shrill shriek of Mrs Cubbins as she bustled into the hallway. “Oh, you kids! Always getting into scraps! Let me look at you.” She took George’s face in her hands and tusked. “Oh, darling! Those bruises still look awful! My poor baby…” She bundled him into a tight hug.

“Mum…” George moaned.

“And just look at the state of this place!” Mrs Cubbins scolded, releasing George and gesturing around at the mess. “I’ll have to stay the night and clean up in the morning!”

Mum…” George tried again.

“Lockwood, you’re looking skinny. And Holly! Look at your arm, you poor thing. Lucy, sweetheart, I hope you’re looking after them?”

“Doing my best, Mrs Cubbins,” I replied as she gave us all squeezes in quick succession.

Finally, Mrs Cubbins turned to Skull, who was trying unsuccessfully to hide behind me. “And you must be Jim,” she said, pushing her thick-rimmed glasses up her nose in a manner very much like her son. “Used to be a ghost, hmm?”

“That’s the one,” said George. “We used to keep his skull in a jar.”

Mrs Cubbins gave him a side eye. “I hope you weren’t cruel to him.”

George forced a laugh. “No, of course not.”

“He put me in the oven once,” said Skull, helpfully.

“George!” Mrs Cubbins scolded, and her son had the good grace to look a little guilty. “Right, well,” she said, turning back to Skull, “why don’t we go into the living room and take a look at you? I’ve already set up in there. George, you can go and clean out your desk while I’m gone. There were maggots in the drawers! I’ve told you not to leave food lying around.”

George groaned but went off to sort out his desk, dragging a reluctant Holly with him to help.

“Be nice,” I told Skull as he passed me to follow Mrs Cubbins into the living room.

“When am I not?” he replied. The door closed behind them, leaving me alone with Lockwood.

“So, I have some news,” Lockwood announced, as we moved into the kitchen. “Barnes mentioned it to me just before we left. They’re building a gallery where Fittes House used to be, to show the history of the Problem, and they’re naming it after me! I would have suggested the ‘Lockwood & Co. Gallery’, but I guess I didn’t have a say.”

“Well, the ‘Anthony Lockwood Gallery’ has a nice ring to it,” I said, grinning at him. I was genuinely thrilled for him; he’d always wanted a name for himself, and now he’d have a whole building named after him for years to come. And he deserved it; he had solved the mystery of the Problem, after all. “That’s amazing news, Lockwood. I’m so proud of you!”

Lockwood rubbed the back of his neck, shyly. “I just… I wanted you to be the first to know. None of this could have happened without you, Luce. You really are amazing, you know?”

And, as I gazed up at his face with that beautiful sparkle in his eyes and a sheepish, lopsided smile that could put the sun to shame, I couldn’t help myself. Maybe it was the excitement of the day, with the last dregs of adrenaline still in my veins, or the joy of having the skull back, if not quite how I expected, or the relief that everyone had gotten out safely, if a little worse for wear. Whatever it was, somehow it gave me courage. So, I reached up, grabbed Lockwood’s collar to tug him down, and kissed him. And he kissed me back almost immediately, smiling against my mouth and wrapping his arms around my waist to tug me closer. My heart pounded in my chest as I reached up and I ran my fingers through his hair, standing on tiptoes to get a better angle.

Then we heard the front door open and leapt apart.

“Managed to get discharged early,” Kipps announced as he waltzed into the kitchen and took a seat. He really had a knack for interrupting at the worst time. “Stitches all sorted now! Though, not gonna lie, little bit buzzed on pain meds right now.” He looked at us and raised an eyebrow at our ruffled hair, flushed faces, and swollen lips. “Did I interrupt something?”

“What? No, no, no, not at all!” Lockwood blundered, frantically running a hand through his hair to neaten it up. I felt a strange thrill at seeing him so flustered and I made a mental note to do that more often.

Kipps raised an unconvinced eyebrow at us and was about to say something when George and Holly returned from the office.

“There!” George declared. “Maggots all taken care of. Mum should be happy!”

Holly gave a shudder. “Never let your desk get like that again.”

We heard the living room door open and, a moment later, Skull walked in and headed straight for the cupboards. He shoved a few biscuits in his mouth, eyed a packet of Holly’s dried fruit before chucking it over his shoulder, then opened the fridge and downed some milk from the carton. I would have scolded him, but I guess he hadn’t eaten anything I decades, so I let him off.

Mrs Cubbins entered a moment later and dropped her Doctor’s bag on the table before gathering us all around her, leaving Skull to continue demolishing our food supply. “Well everything seems to be alright,” she announced. “His temperatures a few degrees lower than normal, but everything else seems fine, so I put that down to his connection with the Other Side. Also –” She lowered her voice – “there was some scarring on his back. I think he may have been abused, poor thing.” She shot him a sad look before straightening and moving over to the counter, where she began bustling around, making us something to eat.

I glanced across at Skull, who was currently digging through the freezer, and felt my stomach twist unpleasantly.

“That’s awful,” Holly murmured.

“It would have been pretty normal in those days,” said Kipps. “Discipline and whatnot.”

“That doesn’t make it alright,” said Lockwood, grimacing.

“Who would’ve done that to him?” I asked.

“Most likely Bickerstaff,” said George, removing his glasses to wipe them on his jumper.

“That can’t be right,” I said. “He idolised him.”

“Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?” said George. I felt my stomach twist again.

“What are you lot whispering about?” Skull called to us with his mouth full.

“Oh, we were just talking about you behind your back,” I told him casually, ignoring the sick feeling of pity in my chest; he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Rude,” said Skull. “If you’re gonna insult me, you do it to my face.”

“Fine,” I said.  “We were just saying you should take a bath. You’re kind of gross.”

“That’s more like it,” said Skull. “Also, no. I’m still scarred from my last bath.”

“Ah, yes,” I said. “Forgot about that.”

“What’s this about?” Holly questioned.

“George took a bubble-bath with the skull,” said Lockwood.

“It was an experiment!” George exclaimed as Holly gave him a horrified look. “And, in my defence, we didn’t know he was sentient at the time!”

“Let me tell you, bubbles only cover so much,” Skull said, darkly. “I have seen things I can’t unsee.”

“You’re not scarred from taking a shower, though, are you?” I said.

“Oh, I forgot those are a thing now,” said Skull. “Always wondered what those were like.”

I allowed Holly to take Skull upstairs to show him how to work the shower, after firmly telling him not to try and kill her.

“Poor thing,” Mrs Cubbins said again as they left.

“Mum, please don’t adopt the skull,” said George.

“He has a name, George” Mrs Cubbins chided.

“Sorry. Please don’t adopt Jimbob,” George corrected.

When Holly returned, she joined us all in helping Mrs Cubbins prepare home-made pizza, and if a little flour or pizza sauce happened to hit a few people in the face, it totally wasn’t my fault.

Kipps sat out due to his fresh stitches, and chatted to us about a lot of things, occasionally going off on a tangent, which I put down to his slight morphine-induced high.

“…and I couldn’t see it at first, but his body just got more solid around the skull, and I thought it was weird that I could see it without my goggles, but now we know why. Skulls are so weird, though. Cos, like, your brain’s inside it, so you’re actually inside a skeleton, not the other way around. Also, the teeth are part of the skull, but they’re outside the body. Surreal…”

I tuned out Kipps’s rambling and thought about Skull. There was still so much I didn’t know about him: his childhood, what happened to his family, why he chose to save me and Lockwood… I wouldn’t question him just yet, though; he needed time to settle down. To get used to living again.

I heard the sound of the shower cutting off and the floorboards creaking as Skull moved around upstairs. A few minutes later, the stairs creaked and Skull stepped into the kitchen. And we stared. Because, beneath all the grime and dirt, Skull was, I had to admit, cute. The filth had been washed out of his hair revealing dark, chocolatey locks that were damp and tousled and just beginning to curl. His face had a healthy, olive complexion, as opposed to the grey of his ghostly counterpart, and was adorned by numerous freckles. It made me wonder what Flo looked like beneath all the sludge.

Kipps cleared his throat. “You, err, scrub up well.”

“I know your sexuality is ambiguous at best, Kipps, but keep it in your pants,” Skull said, causing Kipps to splutter and George to snicker.

“Are those my clothes?” Lockwood blurted.

Skull looked down at the soft grey hoody and pale blue jeans he was wearing. “Yeah. Took me forever to find clothes in there that weren’t all poncy. Do you purposely buy all your shirts two sizes too small?” Lockwood flushed and Skull didn’t wait for him to answer. “Besides, it was either you or George.”

“Fair enough,” said Lockwood.

“The pizza’s just gone in the oven, Jim, dear,” Mrs Cubbins said. “It will be ready soon.”

Skull shrugged and wandered off. I let the others handle tidying up and went after him. I followed him all the way up to my little attic bedroom, where he went to stand by the window, leaning on the windowsill where his old jar used to sit, staring out across the street. I leant against the wall next to him.

“I’ve never had pizza before,” he told me after a moment. “Never had a lot of things.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “You’ll love it.”

We stood silently for a moment, watching the ghost-lamp flash on and off.

“So,” Skull said, eventually, “you and Lockwood, eh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, feeling my face flush.

“Oh, come on! There have been some obvious developments. He keeps looking at you like a love-sick puppy. Give him a good snog at last?”

“I don’t need to answer that.”

“Ooh, you did!” Skull said, grinning at me and nudging me with his elbow. “About time, too.”

“Oh, shut up,” I told him, looking away so he couldn’t see how red my face had gone.

“Don’t be like that! You’ve gotta give me all the juicy details. Did you use –”

“How does it feel?” I blurted, suddenly. Skull raised his eyebrows questioningly. “To be alive again?” I finished.

Skull sighed and turned back to stare out of the window. “It’s… I dunno. Thrilling? Exciting? Exhausting? Has its ups and downs. Having bodily functions again is weird. Can’t do the Happy Farmhand anymore, either. That’s a bummer.”

“Do you wish you’d stayed dead?” I said, quietly.

He glanced across at me and something flickered in his eyes, then he gave me his familiar grin. “Nah. I’ll be dead again soon enough, anyway. And this is what I wanted. To live again. Might as well make the most of it. How many people get a second chance?”

“You’ll stay, then?” I said, eagerly. “Join Lockwood & Co.?”

Skull hummed in thought. “I mean, I could kill you all and become a street urchin again… but I do kinda like the hot water and constant access to food.”

“So, you’ll stay?”

Skull shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Yeah, I guess.”

I suppose I was still kind of buzzed from the day’s events, but whatever. I lurched forward and flung my arms around his neck.

“Alright, alright. Don’t get soppy on me, Carlyle.” But even as he said it, he was hugging me back.

Neither of us were willing to let go, I guess because I was so glad to have my friend here in the flesh, not just a glass jar and a voice in my head, and he had been starved of human contact for decades. Whatever the case, we stood like that for a long time.

I had my face buried in his shoulder so my voice came out muffled. “I never thanked you. For saving me and Lockwood. Even though your source could have been destroyed.”

“Meh, it was nothing. You still had your life to live,” he replied. “Besides, what are best friends for?”

And as we stood there, in the room we’d shared for years, holding each other close until Mrs Cubbins called us down for dinner, I didn’t bother denying it. Because, despite our constant arguing and his incessant ramblings and my threats to bury his jar in the yard, I guess he was my best friend after all.


Previous Sequel

anonymous asked:

I like your Naruto analysis when it comes to Team 7, not so much for NH and Hinata. I'm curious what your ideal Naruto ending would be. You have a cool blog!

HA! Thanks pal, I genuinely don’t even want this blog to be an anti space but the amount of asks I get makes it hard. In terms of ships my perfect end game are sasusaku and narugaa but that is impossible so?? My perfect ending goes like this:

A little over a year into Sasuke’s redemption sakura and naruto follow him and they go on together seeing the small scale issues to fix in the shinobi world. Sakura goes around helping in hospitals in every place they visit and starts opening chains of mental health hospitals as they go on. During these travels SS happens and they go on searching for kaguyas traces after a little small scaled private wedding while Naruto returns to Konoha to get familiar with what ruling as hokage entails. SasuSaku come back a year later with a baby and naruto and kakashi are VERY offended they were never told about this. Sakura apparently had to deliver at her new friend Karin’s hideout made science lab where Taka lives happy and independent from Orochimaru who is very dead. They bring with them the great news that Kaguya wanted to rule the world using her army but she is now gone for good and there is no looming threat to worry about. A few years later Naruto shows up at Konoha’s hospital with a wild ass spark in his eye announcing ‘sakura-chan! I’m finally going to be hokage!’ sasuke is behind him panting (naruto dragged him here running) with a secret proud smile on his face. Later on when they are having a celebratory dinner at sasusakus house, naruto attempts to show off to sarada who really just wants to go outside and visit her best friend cho cho, who’s mom and a few other adults were present. Gaiden is through 16 year old Sarada’s POV, she takes us through Konoha that rose from the ashes of the great war. There is a monument; a statue of two men doing the sign of unison. They happen to be the men who protected peace from within the shadows in very dire days -something no longer needed as government transparency and open communication became the norm in this new age-, Shisui and Itachi Uchiha. The writing on the bottom of the statue states the proud history and tragic fate of her clan, imprinted there forever to give people hope in justice.There’s a lot of team 7 and she sometimes accidentally sees cute moments between her parents, or sexual ones take your pick. Sasuke eats tomatoes on the couch and sakura scolds him, sarada laughs at them all the time. Neji is alive and thriving, ten ten has become renowned for her weaponry skills and their child is close friends with Sarada. It’s all good in the hood. Naruto actually attends his inauguration and is the cutest hokage. You can find him giving speeches to the children while the little girls make flower crowns for him. The entire village is his family. idk about hinata she either finally found purpose in her life or died whichever it is—idc.