and the parents don't care

Have some parenting headcanons for father’s day!

–Despite Yuuri being the father that worries more about their kids, Yuuri is also the parent that says “don’t ask me, ask your other father if you can do that.” This is because, rather than saying ‘no,’ Viktor often gets involved in whatever crazy activity the kids have planned, and makes it both supervised and fun.

–”It isn’t fair,” Viktor murmurs to himself. He is looking down at a pile of children, two dogs, and his beloved husband. Yuuri had fallen asleep on the couch while watching Food Network. Viktor had been taking a nap in their extremely plush king-sized bed. And yet here Yuuri lies, blanketed by and being everything that Viktor holds dear, because Yuuri is the one everybody always chooses to sleep with. 

–If Viktor went overboard with petnames for Yuuri, then he has a SEA of petnames for his kids. “Do you think Papa even knows our real names?” Their eldest giggles. Yuuri blinks very slowly, thinks of JJ and Viktor staring with a pretty, unrecognizing smile at most of the sponsors. Oh my god, he thinks, no, that’s… “Of course I know your name,” Viktor laughs, giving her a squeeze, “remember when you went out on the ice unsupervised and tried a double and I had to scold you? I even know your MIDDLE name, kotyonok.”

–Apparently, years of avoiding the press to have a bit of alone time is not sufficient training for avoiding their children. Luckily, Viktor tends to not wear a shirt around the house anyway, so their son just eyes them disinterestedly before handing him a jar. “Open, papa, please.” Yuuri buries his face in his husband’s chest and slides off the table where he’d been sitting. A babysitter. They need a babysitter.

–“You’re so stupid,” Yurio says after Viktor spends ten minutes complaining about their current babysitter. “Why did you HIRE someone? Lilia and Yakov are furious. They’ve been taking it out on me during practice.” The children are henceforth deposited into Yakov and Lilia’s grim arms. Initially, Viktor worries they’re going to come home as soldiers. Instead, they come home spoiled.

To all my overachievers who don’t get praise from parents and loved ones anymore because it’s just expected of you to do well: I’m proud that you passed that test, I’m happy you graduated with honors, I love that you try your hardest all the time.

I know sometimes the lack of support and encouragement from those whose opinions matter the most to you can be disheartening, but keep pushing through and being the amazing person you are.

2

Mob’s mum told him to just let nature take its course because birds will abandon any baby touched by a human, but luckily, he discovered a loophole.

Dear parents of autistic children,

No, your child doesn’t do weird things “for no reason”. They do it for a reason, you just don’t know it yet. You have different brains, different perspectives, so sometimes things that are obvious to them are a mystery to you. But you don’t have to ignore it and blame it on them. You can make an effort, reach out to them and figure out the reason.

Do they scream in public when it looks like everything is okay? Well, there’s probably a reason for that. Maybe the situation is overwhelming to their senses, it’s too loud, to bright, to crowded, and they need some space and time to recover. Maybe they can’t stim because other people keep telling them it looks weird, so they end up exhausted much faster. Maybe you are breaking their routine by being outside at this time. Or maybe you are going through the supermarket “the wrong way”, not how you usually do it. Maybe they forgot their comfort object at home, and just realized that. Maybe they are in pain and can’t communicate that. Maybe they are very hungry and don’t realize that yet because it’s hard for them to recognize their needs and emotions. Maybe it’s a combination of those, or something different altogether.

Either way, they probably don’t do it “for no reason”. You just don’t see the reason. Make an effort to communicate. If they are verbal, ask them. If they can’t speak with their mouth at the moment or ever, use alternative methods of communication. If they can’t explain it, consult other autistic people, including autistic adults who probably have a bunch of ideas as to why your child does that weird thing. Don’t dismiss it, don’t complain about it, don’t blame your child for doing it. Try to see the world from their perspective. Respect their needs and feelings. Learn more about autism from other autistic people.

And life will be much better and easier for both you and your child.

An Escape

MariChat May 29th: The argument

(ao3)

Summary: Marinette overhears an argument between her parents.


Marinette clasped her hands tightly over her ears.

Her parents were arguing with each other. Loudly. She tried to block them out, but-

“We don’t have…money…Marinette…!” He father said loudly.

“I don’t care…Marinette deserves…fulfilled! No…cost.” He mother replied, just as loud.

She closed her eyes tightly and felt a couple of tears leak out. “Tikki…” She whimpered. Her companion gently patted her on the cheek. “They’re arguing about me, Tikki!” She cried.

Tikki cooed. “Marinette, shh, it’s not your fault.” She tried to assure the girl.

“But Tikki, they’re-” Tikki suddenly darted under a pillow. Marinette blinked.

Chat’s head was upside down as he looked at her from the hatch to her balcony. His ears twitched and then he frowned in thought before shaking his head and holding out his hand. “Wanna hang with one of the coolest chats in town?” His lips curled slightly upward.

Marinette blinked large blue eyes at him before smiling tentatively and taking his hand. He pulled her up to her balcony and gestured to the whole of Paris. “Want to have some fun?”

She smiled in agreement. A moment later they were flying over the streets and rooves of Paris. The feeling of exhilaration was amplified for Marinette since she wasn’t wearing her suit. The trip ended all too soon with a climb to the top of the Arc De Triomphe.

Chat leaned back on one of the visitor railings as Marinette grinned at the sight of Paris at night. He smiled at the sight of her joy and allowed himself to relax.

Marinette relaxed as well by sitting down against the rail. She sighed and looked up at Chat with a frown. “Hey Chat, can I ask you something?”

He smiled. “Anything Princess.” He said quickly.

His lack of hesitation relaxed her further. “Do your parents argue much?” She regretted asking the question the moment she saw Chat’s face shift painfully. She was about to take it back when Chat answered.

“My mother isn’t around anymore.” Chat said softly. Before she could offer any apologies he continued. “They argued occasionally before she… left, but not often.”

Marinette looked down. “Do you think I caused the argument-?”

“No.” He interrupted. She looked up at his serious face in surprise. “Whatever reason your parents were arguing it wasn’t your fault.” Seeing the doubt on her face he continued. “I promise you that it isn’t your fault.” She shook her head and looked back down. “Marinette, do you trust me?”

She nodded. “Of course I do Chat.” She said softly.

“Then trust me on this. Your parents love you and wouldn’t want you to think this argument was your fault.” He gently took her chin in between his finger and made her look at him. “Got it?” He asked with a confidant smile.

Her eyes wide Marinette nodded.

“Say it.” Chat commanded.

Marinette smiled hesitantly. “My parent’s arguments aren’t my fault.”

He let go of her chin and surprised her by pulling her into a hug.

She stared at the skyline a moment before smiling and returning the hug.

They pulled apart, still smiling at each other, and both turned to look at the city. Chat knocked his finger against hers and she gently took hold of them. She didn’t look at his expression as she felt a blush come over her cheeks.

Chat looked at her with a soft gaze and then his smile widened.

They spent a few more minutes enjoying the night sky before Chat took her home. He promised to see her again and left her to go get some sleep. The wide smiles never left either of their faces the rest of the night.

About Stef and Brallie

I need to start by saying that I love Stef, normally . She’s so awesome and I would love to have a mom like her. But if I was Brandon? If I was Brandon I would have honestly married fucking Cortney if it meant being away from her. And I hate Cortney. 

Let me explain. 

In season one, when Callie is still a new addition to the family, a girl that wasn’t supposed to stay in their house for more than a few weeks, a year at most, Stef reminds Brandon that foster siblings aren’t allowed to engage in a romantic relationship. Brandon isn’t interested at the time, he’s still with Talya, but he’s “an horny teenager” so better safe than sorry, right? Right. Fine. Legit. 

As we know, Brandon can’t really help falling for Callie after that. He knew he couldn’t, sure, but he probably thought that they could wait and sooner or later Callie would be out of the house, and it’s not like he could just erase his feelings. That’s not how feelings works. Also, it’s not like Callie was blameless here. She kissed Brandon after knowing that she was going to get adopted, remember? Sure, in season 3, during the interview she says that she wanted to fuck the adoption up before something else fucked it up, because she was scared. Doesn’t seem like a good way to fuck it up to me - if Jude hadn’t walked in on them they would have probably never been discovered and then what? I’d like to ask her. Also, we knew from her conversation with Wyatt at the hospital before then that she already had feelings for Brandon too, she just didn’t think she deserved him (to quote Wyatt, she was “too fucked up”). But at the wedding she says that she knows what she deserves now - meaning Brandon. She felt safe because she finally had a family who wanted her, she thought for the first time that she deserved everything everyone else deserved. To love who she loved. But Jude walks in on them and she runs away. 

Brandon confesses to his moms that he kissed Callie, which - btw - it’s his first fucking mistake. He didn’t kiss her. SHE kissed HIM. It’s interesting because he keeps saying that it was him, even during the interview in season 3. I don’t know if he wanted it so much that he remembers being the one instigating it, but this mistake plants the first seed of distrust in Stef, who probably can’t help making parallels between her son and Liam, since, you know, Brandon says Callie ran away because of him, when she actually ran away because of what Jude said. 

The moms forbid Brandon to go see Callie but he doesn’t listen. He loves her and he doesn’t want her to believe that there’s nobody out there for her anymore. And - let me point it out - he was right. She needed to know someone was still there for her, even if she had run away and was high risk and whatever. So yeah, seeing Brandon was what she needed. But Stef doesn’t trust him and she gets him a restraining order, like he’s stalking Callie, like that beautiful hug never happened (and for all we know, Stef might not know it happened). 

Brandon doesn’t care. Brallie keeps meeting secretly. Stef doesn’t know. Eventually, they both realize that Callie needs a family and Brandon backs down and lets her go. Because he loves her. So much. And he wants her to have all she needs. And she needs a family more than she needs him. Fyi, this it’s his most beautiful act of love. 

After the first break up it seems like Brandon is the only one hung up on them. He’s hurt, he can’t forget. I don’t blame him, since he has to see her everyday. He tries. He’s vulnerable at this point and Dani keeps planting ideas in his head. That he should get her back before she gets adopted and stuff. Things blow up during the winter ball and everything Stef ends up hearing is “I realized today that you didn’t lead me on. You just never felt the way I did. What you needed, what you wanted, it was never me,” which, AGAIN, makes it look like his feelings aren’t reciprocated, not really. She doesn’t know that Callie followed him before he got into the cop’s car to tell him that what she had said about Wyatt wasn’t true - meaning that she still loved him too, since she told him that lie just so he could forget about her. But she doesn’t want him to at the end. 

Things are friendly between Brallie later, up until the GU fund riser. Callie kisses Brandon when she discovers that Robert isn’t gonna sign her adoption papers. Later - in season 3 I think - she tells the girls of GU that she did it because she thought she was giving up Brandon for nothing. Meaning - she still loves him. Brandon tells her that he doesn’t want her to give up on her dream (they promised each other, right?). Stef doesn’t know that they let each other go again, for the second time. 

Callie doesn’t take it well. She asks him if it’s because of Lou. Brandon breaks up with her. Again. 

Season 3, Brallie’s adventure in Mexico. Stef finds a pregnancy test and the first thing that comes to her mind is “you don’t think callie is pregnant with brandon’s child, do you?” How did she even go there?? All she knows at this point is that Callie and Brandon kissed once. Which makes me believe that she can see that something is still going on between them but doesn’t want to acknowledge it. 

Brallie has sex. It’s consensual. And they break it off again as soon as the adoption gets through. 

Callie tells the moms the truth and everything Stef can think about is “Brandon took advantage of the fact that she was vulnerable”, when, honestly, it was about “giving up Brandon for nothing”. 

Stef confronts Brandon about it and she doesn’t listen, won’t listen to him. She accuses Brandon in all the ways possible and never asks Callie about her feelings. At this point, Stef only knows that Brandon is in love with Callie, she never heard Callie say that she is in love with Brandon, she doesn’t know that Callie almost went to live with Robert to stay with Brandon, that she wanted to put his keyboard in her apartment, that she was the first to say I love you. 

For all season 4 Stef treats Brandon as some sort of predator and he can’t stand it, obviously, and stays with Cortney. The only person defending him is Mike, who sees the same thing happening with AJ. Stef keeps taking Callie’s side. 

And it makes me so angry. She doesn’t know the whole story, never cared to sit her kids down to ask them honestly about it, never took the time to talk about it with Callie! When Callie said they had sex, Stef brushed it off like she didn’t even want to know about it and went to bite B’s head off for it instead. She told him in 03x08 that she could see that she hadn’t been there for Brandon about Callie and she could see now that he was heartbroken, but after that? Did she do anything to be there for him? She didn’t. She kept accusing him, suspecting him, blaming him. To the point that she can’t even see Brallie in the same room together without getting tense. 

I’d like to say that I don’t blame her 100%, since she doesn’t have the whole picture, but I can’t because it’s her fault she doesn’t have all the information she needs in the first place! I blame her for being a shitty parent to Brandon, for playing favorites, for being judgmental and closing her eyes and not listening when literally EVERYBODY knows Brandon and Callie are a thing after 0.5 seconds in their presence. Sophia didn’t even need to see them together to know that Callie was in love with him! Like, seriously, Stef decided not to see what was going on, she ignored her kid like he’s some kind of rapist, did NOTHING to comfort him when he couldn’t go to Julliard (and yes, he was to blame, but not even a hug??). The only person that honestly stopped for a moment to ask him how he felt about it is Callie! And then you’re surprised he’s in love with her? Please. Brandon literally helped everyone in that house and Stef treats him like he’s a criminal. 

So now I hope she’ll get scared every time someone points out that Brandon and Callie look like they’re dating and not like siblings, because she had it coming. 

She told Mike that he couldn’t play favorites between Brandon and AJ, but that’s exactly what she has been doing with Brandon and Callie. She keeps choosing Callie over him. So Mike had it wrong, it wasn’t because of Callie that Brandon wouldn’t move back home, it was because of Stef. 

I can’t believe nobody is calling her out about treating Brandon like shit. Sure, Brandon isn’t perfect and he made his mistakes, but not everything is on him. Callie is as much to blame as he is, and yes, she’s dealing with other drama, but it can’t always be “good old Brandon who has to take it up the chin”. It takes two to tango. It’s just easier to blame Brandon than acknowledging that she should have taken Brallie’s relationship seriously when Brandon told her about it the first time instead of taking a fucking restraining order against her son. Brandon was right in 03x08 - she humiliated him. And she’s STILL doing it. KEEPS doing it. 

I’d divorce the family too if I was him. No shit. 

When Felix says he was somewhere on holidays with his parents he means that they actually were spending time together.
When his classmates say they were somewhere with their parents they mean the servants were spending time with them meanwhile parents were minding their own business.
This leads to some misunderstanding when they are comparing expirences.

there's gonna come a time when their opinion doesn't bother you anymore. keep going. you're doing great.

@storybycorey I think it’s been like a millions years since I’ve actually posted a photo for you of Gillian and this one makes me happy

I have observed multiple mutuals here under the age of 18 who are not allowed by their parents to cut/dye/bleach their hair or have piercings. Once upon a time I wasn’t allowed either, and I remember I never really understood why.

Whenever I asked “why not”, my mother would always reply “wait until you’re 18.”, which isn’t really an answer so I asked again; why not?
To which she finally replied (after an unnecessary hissyfit), “because you might regret it.”

Now I had my answer but the thing is, I didn’t see any problem with that. But to avoid any more hilariously aggressive confrontations- I waited. I turned 18 and I pierced my eyebrow, cut my hair short and dyed my hair bright red. And then green. And then pink. And then blue then green and turquoise and purple and orange and pink and then blue. I pierced my tongue and lips and belly button and everything was so fun and exciting because I was finally allowed to do what I was denied as a child.

But then my mother started crying, the poor soul didn’t know what to do. She questioned her parenting and blamed me for her depression and so on and so forth and I was still so damn confused about what the problem was! I had no problem getting a job, and when I joined the army I removed the piercings and temporarily dyed my hair a normal brown again like the responsible adult I was. When I went back to work/school I kept putting fun colors in my hair again and put the piercings back. I encountered exactly zero problems in my adulting, but still my mother was upset!

One day she explained to me that I was now too old to be doing this; she was afraid other parents would blame her for bad parenting and she believed that I should know better now that I was an adult.

Now…THIS IS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.

Because basically, my mother didn’t want me to dye my hair as a child in fear of me regretting it, and then as an adult I should magically know that i will regret it without having tried it and also I should be aware of the prejudice of other parents (which I never encountered) — which isn’t only extremely backwards logic but it also means in this case she’d rather seem like a good parent to other parents than to be a good parent for her child.

My mother knows better now; she has tattoos and bleached hair and doesn’t care but if her children and friends hadn’t normalized being a little different for her then she never would’ve changed her thinking.

Let kids put fun colors in their hair. Don’t make such a big deal out of such little things.

Regis about Gladnis

So following the AU where Gladnis is a real thing, and just like I go with the headcanon of supportive Clarus, I imagine the supportive parent figure to Ignis would actually be Regis.

To sum up  my headcanon on Ignis, both in Gladnis AU and the real canon we’ve got so far, I feel like his parents had him only for the sake of having someone to serve Noctis, not necessarily for the joy of having a kid, you feel me? Like, they had a kid to “have a second hand to the future heir” rather than have the kid for himself.

So if I follow that headcanon and mix it in the Gladnis AU, I came up to the conclusion Ignis’ parent(s) would actually not support him on his relationship at all.

[Adding a read more because it turned so big, omg, I’m sorry]

Keep reading

One thing that ocurred to me as another reason to love the writing in MHA is

Bakugou has a bunch of attitude and emotional issues, he’s definitely a Problem Child. While his parents are far from perfect, they are clearly well intentioned and care about their son. He doesn’t have a troubled past at all, he had a normal childhood.

Meanwhile Todoroki is a very polite if aloof person, he’s well behaved and well regarded. While of course he absolutely has struggles, he doesn’t make problems for others, and HE is the one from an unsupportive abusive household, HE is the one with a troubled past.

Like so often you see in these series this Broody, Mean Jerk who then gets his behavior excused because he SUFFERED SO MUCH and had such a TRAGIC PAST. Especially by the fandom, but also often by the narrative. Having bad things happen to you doesn’t have to turn you into a jerk, it’s not an EXCUSE for being a jerk, people are way more complicated and resilient than that. They’re both absolutely troubled kids but in wildly different ways for wildly different reasons.

I don’t really have a cohesive thought here, I just really love how much care is put into these kids and the ways they’re growing over the course of this series because growing and changing is what teenagers DO.

anonymous asked:

As much as I would like to believe in a doting dad King Endymion, isn't that contradicted in the anime when Chibiusa is whole-heartedly convinced that her parents don't care about her? That Pluto is the only one who even likes her? And in the new Sera Myu, if I remember correctly, she feels that she's rejected by everyone, not just some dumb kids. That doesn't sound like a child who grew up with loving parents by her side. She just sounds so lonely.

That is Chibi Usa’s perception, and I think it’s pretty clear in both the anime and manga (especially the anime, honestly) that Chibi Usa is a flawed narrator on that front.

For example, look at the memories we’re shown in the anime to illustrate the idea that Chibi Usa was lonely. There is the one where everyone mysteriously was too busy to celebrate her birthday. Then it turns out they were planning to surprise her with her parents returning from their trip early to celebrate it. Then there’s the one when she falls down in the rain and her parents did not immediately pick her up. In her mind, they were coldly refusing to help her. In reality, it turns out they were encouraging her to pick herself up (and I’m no parent, but it seems like pretty good parenting to me, not to race to pick up your toddler every single time she falls).

I think there’s a lot of factors in Chibi Usa’s loneliness growing up.

  • Her parents are busy all the time. They’re king and queen of the world, after all. There’s a reason most politicians and monarchs employ full-time nannies. The most loving parent can seem distant and cold if their attention is divided because of their job.
  • She’s an only child.
  • She’s the one and only child of the king and queen of the world. Think how much scrutiny she must have been under from the moment she was born. Imagine being a little kid seeing your own face on the tabloids all the time, for absolutely no reason other than who your parents are. Imagine how impossible it would be to feel normal.
  • Kids were mean to her, probably because of that aforementioned scrutiny.
  • She felt like she could never live up to her mother’s legacy, and clearly did not know how to communicate her fears to her parents.
  • Her fears turned into suppression of her own growth and magical powers, keeping her a child forever.
  • It turned into this negative feedback loop where her own fears of failure stunted her growth, but the lack of growth made her feel like a bigger failure and made people scrutinize her even more, so she became trapped in a cycle she couldn’t escape.

The first point is one that I relate to a lot. I have a really loving mother, someone who a lot of my friends and cousins have said they love and wish they had as a mom, but there was a point in my life when I was still desperately lonely. Because she was working long hours at the same time that kids at school were being bullies. Feeling alone at school and then coming home to an empty house really did make me feel rejected by everyone, even though that was objectively not true. That fact that she cared for me and supported me just… wasn’t enough to fix the situation. It was too big for her.

But leaving aside her parents for a moment, even if they were actually cold and distant, what about everyone else? What about the other senshi? What about Diana, who was already there in the manga?

Somehow Chibi Usa managed to be sad even with Diana in her life. You can make me believe that somehow every one of the senshi, including Usagi Biggest-Heart-in-the-Universe Tsukino, became cold and seemingly heartless, but you cannot tell me that Diana rejected Chibi Usa a single time in her entire kitten life.

So what made Pluto special, in a way that her parents and the other senshi and Diana could not be? Other than the fact that Pluto is wonderful and perfect and also incredibly lonely, Pluto has nothing to do with the world that Chibi Usa feels pressured by. Where Chibi Usa’s parents and even the other senshi must represent the world she feels inadequate at accessing, Pluto is literally outside of it all. Being with Pluto was an escape from a reality in which she is a princess living in the shadow of an immortal queen.

But let’s go back to the real issue Chibi Usa had: feeling overshadowed by Neo Queen Serenity, and the need to live up to her legacy. I feel like this is the main isolating force for her. And it is largely internal. Because look at what happens when Venus questions how Chibi Usa can take over as queen if she doesn’t have any powers.

King Endymion is not here for that kind of talk. He shuts that line of questioning down hard. It doesn’t matter that his daughter has been a powerless child for 900 years now, he still believes in her.

And look at how Neo Queen Serenity reacts to the same issue.

Chibi Usa thought she was not good enough, but her parents have never thought that. It was entirely her own insecurities, which she kept too bottled up for anybody to help her deal with them.

And we know that that must be the source of her problems, because from this point on, Chibi Usa is so much happier. She never indicates that Crystal Tokyo is a sad place for her to be anymore. The only time those same insecurities flare up again? Is when she feels overshadowed by Sailor Moon in the present. But she works through it and becomes both a happier person and a better soldier for it.

Long story short, knowing who Usagi and Mamoru are, knowing who Chibi Usa becomes after that first arc, knowing how easily childhood memories can be clouded, I see no reason to believe that Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion are bad parents. If they were, then there was no resolution when Chibi Usa became Sailor Chibi Moon, and all that character development should have been directed towards resolution with them instead of her own personal growth.

My parents scream at me. they say mean, terrible, horrible things to me. Then they look at me and scream and ask why I am crying. I don’t know what to do anymore. They yell at me if I make too much noise walking, If I take too long a time to close a door, little things that kids shouldn’t be screamed at for. They call me names and they’ve hit me. I just I thought your parents were suppose to be these good people that helped you, that cared for you, but obviously not my parents, they hate my guts.
—  Posted by Anonymous

anonymous asked:

When I first started my job I tired to be nice when kids were doing something unsafe and their parents didn't care. "Please, don't shake the mannequins." "Please, don't climb the ladder." "Please, don't push around the gray carts." "Please, don't stand on the table." Now I say all these things but without the "Please." and the pleasant voice. I have a job to do and it's not babysitting other people's kids.