and the non verbal signs

So you want to write an autistic character.

Wait, what? Why would I do that?

I have two main answers to that question.

  • We exist! We’re part of natural human diversity! It is estimated that around 1% of people are autistic (and the number may be even higher). That may not sound like a lot, but 1% of 7.5 billion people is 75 million people! Which means that there are more autistic people than there are French people in the world. So if you want to write diverse characters, an autistic character is something to consider seriously!
  • Good, accurate representation of autistic people in media helps autism become more well-known by the general public. If people see us as humans when they read about good autistic characters in books, they are more likely to see us as humans when they come across one of us in the real world, and to treat us accordingly. So by writing an autistic character, you’re helping autistic people everywhere, in your own way.


OK, I’m convinced. But what is autism anyway?

Let’s start with what it is not! Autism is not a mental illness. This means this is not something you can somehow get later in life: you can start having depression at any stage in your life, but you are born autistic. Moreover, while depression and some other mental illness can be cured or be temporary, you are autistic for your whole life.

So what is it? It is considered a developmental disorder. This means that you born autistic, and that every stage of your development (baby-> toddler->child->teenager->adult->elderly person) is affected by autism, and will happen differently than that of a non-autistic person.

It is also considered a disability: there are things in of life that non-autistic people can do that are difficult or impossible for autistic people.

Finally, it is what we call a neurodivergence: this means that our brain is wired in a way that is different to that of most people. While it can make life harder for us in some regards, we are in no way lesser to non-autistic people, just different. We also have abilities and positive traits that others lack. And most the problems we encounter in our daily life are not because of autism per se, but because of a lack of awareness, understanding, and accommodations from others.

It is important to note here that autism is something that is still being researched,  and not everyone agrees with all of the above definitions, but we’ll get into this discussion in another post!

So tell me, what are autistic people like?

First of all, there is a very important thing to keep in mind: We are all different. We are all our own person, and we are just as diverse (or maybe even more so) than non-autistic people are. We all have a mix-and-match assortment of autistic traits, traits that are not typically autistic, and personal quirks. All of these can have different expressions, different intensities and different triggers depending on the person, but also on the context and on the moment. So there is not one way to be autistic, but as many ways as there are autistic people (that is, a lot.)

With that in mind, I will list here some common autistic traits that we will be expanding on in future posts: this may serve as a table of contents of sorts.

  • Difficulties with everything social: understanding social rules, understanding non-verbal cues and conversational rules, and using them correctly is very difficult for most of us. We often struggle with making friends and finding romantic partners.
  • Difficulties with typical communication: a lot of autistic people have trouble with communicating verbally (this includes sign language), and some are sometimes or always non-verbal. A lot of us prefer alternative means of communication such as typing. Even when we do talk, we may do so oddly.
  • Sensory differences: We can be hyper- or hypo-sensitive to different sensory inputs. This translates to a lot of us as struggling with things like loud noises, bright lights or being touched.
  • Stimming: You may often find us flapping our hands, rocking back and forth, twirling our fingers, playing with our hair, pacing… or even things like hitting our heads or biting ourselves.
  • Meltdowns and shutdowns: When we are very overwhelmed, we can have violent meltdowns which can include shouting, crying, and self-harming stims, or shutdowns in which we completely stop reacting and responding to our environment.
  • Special interests: Most of us have one or several topics which we are very, very interested in. They can change with time or be lifelong. We can spend hours researching such topics and talking about them. A special interest can look obsessive to outside observers.
  • Need for routine: We often need to have our days planned in advance following a routine, and we can be very upset if there is a sudden change to that routine or if something unplanned happens.
  • Executive dysfunction: Getting started on an activity, figuring out and following all the steps which it involves, switching activities and making decisions can all be difficult things for us.

There are other common autistic traits which we’ll talk about later, but these are the main ones.

This will be all for an introductory post. If you have any question, our ask-box is open!

6

Hugs vs aggressive hugs, a lesson in greeting your long lost brother on your doorstep by Stefan Salvatore 😅

I love how, in this panel, every gif on the right is just a softer version of the one on the left.

ADVICE FOR DATING EVERY TYPE

(based on observations, research, and personal experience)

ENFJ: Let them know you accept them. Strive to understand their beliefs. Don’t give up if they’re closed off emotionally–give them another chance to open up to you. Support their interests.

ENFP: Affirm your affection verbally. Be honest and direct. Don’t over-plan or invade too much into their private life. Go on adventures together, and don’t shut down the random things they say.

INFJ: Work hard to understand them–their values, their personality, their thoughts. Set aside time to be alone together. Don’t make them feel like your ideas or way or life is superior to theirs.

INFP: Give them the space they need. Let them know that you care about who they authentically are. Be yourself, and be open with your intent. Don’t devalue their emotions.

ESFJ: Check in on them, and let them know you care about how they’re doing. Don’t push them out when they want to become more invested in your life. Don’t move too fast.

ESTJ: Be loyal to them. Set aside time where you can have each other’s full attention. Let them know that you can follow through. Don’t doubt their affection for you.

ISFJ: Affirm their accomplishments. Acknowledge their needs and find out what you can do to help. Indulge in traditionally romantic activities. Don’t ignore when they give non-verbal signs of being upset.

ISTJ: Let them know that they can trust and rely on you. Be self-sufficient. Don’t embarrass them in a big group setting. Give them space to do the things that are important to them.

ENTJ: Be willing to try new experiences that they’re interested in. Start discussions about deep topics. Don’t over-control. Make sure that each of your goals for the relationship are clear to the other.

ENTP: Look for new experiences together. Express your trust in their competence. Don’t hold them back from their goals. Engage in intellectual conversation.

INTJ: Have a direct approach–don’t play hard to get. Clearly communicate your expectations and ask what they expect of you. Respect each other’s independence. Don’t try to make them something they’re not.

INTP: Express what you like about them. Don’t try to control their life. Communicate what’s important to you and ask what’s important to them. Give them alone time when they need it.

ESFP: Be open to new and exciting experiences. Allow them to express their affection in a way that makes sense to them. Don’t worry if they seem flirty. Respect their friendships.

ESTP: Keep at their pace. Be open and clear about what you feel and think. Look for fun, risky adventures to go on together, and be a part of the action. Don’t restrict their experiences.

ISFP: Respect their feelings. Make sure that you pursue their happiness just as much as they pursue yours. Don’t disrespect their value system or their personal boundaries. Give specific compliments.

ISTP: Let them have both personal space. Don’t overwhelm them by always discussing where the relationship is going. Be easy-going and open to new situations.

non verbal Autistic Bucky is so important to me, giving the finger to anyone who asks him when he;s going to ‘get better’ and talk again

non verbal Bucky frustratingly trying to communicate that he’s uncomfortable, or angry or just anything and not being able to get it across

Clint coming round and noticing this, asks why they haven’t even tried teaching him American sign language? (there’s sort of a collective 'oh’ from the rest, they;d been so focused on 'helping’ him speak, that they’d never considered it)

Clint sometimes teaches him signs but is too busy to fully commit so they get Bucky an outside teacher, someone who’s Deaf themselves at Clint’s request

non verbal Bucky signing about what happened to him, finally being able to share the experiences and confront them

non verbal Bucky screaming and screaming and being asked if he can do that why can;t he talk? 'Its not the same’ he signs, they sigh and shake their heads, he signs angrily about it to Sam, Steve and Nat later

Steve, Sam and Nat all learning American sign language as well so they can communicate with him and Clint better, Nat picks it up quickest since she’s so used to different languages

non verbal Bucky sometimes not being able to sign because he’s too exhausted, his therapist tells him he’s being 'difficult’, Bucky gets rid of him, learning that he’s allowed his own choices and he doesn;t have to stand for being treated badly

non verbal, Autistic Bucky!

Sign language as a part of autism culture

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now and spoken to many, autistic people and they were overwhelmingly like-minded which led me to write this. In this post I want to speak about the role and advantages of sign language within the autism culture and I kindly want to ask you to spread these words because it is important to me and maybe it becomes important to you and many others. 

Sign languages (there are over hundred sign languages with even more dialects on this planet) are fully evolved and independent languages that just work with a different modality, that is within the visual range because it is largely used by deaf/Deaf people. Signs, body language, mimic and visemes are used as “phonological” units to express all the meanings one can do with spoken languages.

This post is about how sign language in general is something that offers a lot of advantages for the autism community and should be seen as a part of the autistic culture and community and I’d like to see it more supported. 

Non-verbality

The most striking argument in favour of sign language for autistic people is when they are non-verbal. A lot of research has been conducted and they all point out that even non-verbal children can use sign language to express their urges, feelings and wishes. It can also help them with acquiring spoken language so that they become more verbal. In many more modern approaches sign language is already used in therapy with big success. Thus, for many non-verbal children sign language is a more natural and suited language than spoken language.

General problems with language

But even verbal autistic people often encounter episodes where they become non-verbal. Many others report about a general unability to articulate their inner feelings and thoughts properly to the outer world and also many autistic people tend to use gestures first when they want to indicate something whereas language kicks in later. 

To give a personal example to illustrate this:
There are phases (sometimes triggered by tiredness, bad moods, panic, fear, euphoria etc.) where I become almost non-verbal. My speech becomes slurry, I can’t find the words, my pitch level is monotonous and high, I am struggling with the correct pronunciation of words, I can’t form whole sentences, I mumble and sometimes can’t speak at all or just repetitive phrases.
I also have the problem to express inner feelings. I can have panic attacks while being with others and them not noticing anything because I can’t convey inner moods or feelings by language. I also can’t explain most of my autistic experiences going on my head because I cannot articulate and phrase them.
And last but not least I have problems with using spontanous language, for instance when I want to indicate something such as a red traffic light or some danger I can only point to it or make at the utmost strange sounds. Language always comes in some seconds later. (This may all be related to my delayed speech development but is nevertheless well known by many other autistic people.)

I heard from the majority of cases like these that sign language helped them (me included). In non-verbal episodes they could fall back to sign language and still communicate sufficiently in emergency situations or when needed. They also perceived sign language as another mode of expression that was independent from their unability to express feelings so that they could sign about things that they wouldn’t be able to phrase by speaking. And with sign language they also had a tool to express meaning more spontanously when needed instead of just pointing at things.

Auditory processing disorder

Many autistic people also have an auditory processing disorder where it becomes very hard to understand spoken language when the circumstances for its perception aren’t perfect, like in a noisy environment, on the phone, a mumbling person etc. Maybe not for a phone call but for the other cases sign language is very useful to help these people to understand language even in circumstances where they can’t understand spoken language properly. 

The ease of conversation in sign language

A big relief for many is that in sign language conversations you don’t look in the eyes of your opponent but at his mouth in order to detect the visemes (the forms that the lips make), whereas most of the signs are perceived in the visual periphery. 

Given that most people with autism would not learn sign language as their mother tongue there is the fact of learning this language deliberatedly. And this fact makes many conversations easier. First of all, you have a constant topic with your course peers, small talk would be, thus, a little less awkward and hard. And many other sign language experienced autistics also agree that conversation with deaf/Deaf people in sign language are way more comfortable and enjoyable. Furthermore it is very often the case that talks in foreign languages are less awkward because the demands for those conversation are different (working with language and practising it) and not about making it socially perfect. 

Advantages of the visual modality

Most autistic people are easily sensory overloaded. This mostly happens outside the comfort zone, for instance on the streets, in the public, with a lot of people and noises around you etc. Many cope with the input stimulus by wearing ear plugs or ear/headphones to block the uncontrolable auditory input by silence or controlable music as a way of stimming. Meeting people in the public that you know can be a pain in the ass because you have to unplug your ears in order to communicate. Not only is your possible auditory processing disorder kicking in and cumbering the communication but also is the surrounding noise overloading you. But with sign language you can leave your ear plugs in and don’t have to leave your autistic comfort zone completely for communication. 

Learning body language and facial expressions

As mentioned earlier, most people with autism would go the way of learning sign language as a foreign language. And in sign language body language and mimic are very important because they are grammatical tools to make questions, negations, direct speech and a whole bunch of other things. But that is why sign language (i. e. learning sign language) is actually very useful for people with autism because in the courses you learn body language and mimic from the scratch. You learn when to use which facial expression, which different ways there are to raise your eyebrows and what they mean and how you express disbelief and affirmation by body language. In sign language these things are very well structured, they are systematically, predictable, not intuitively blurred but well defined and explicit and well practised in the course so that everybody can learn it. That is a huge advantage for people that have problems with producing body language naturally or perceiving it correctly.

Which sign language?

As with deaf/Deaf people it is the modality that counts. First of all, there are over hundred sign languages with even more dialects to choose from. In some cases, however, a manually coded language could be useful, too. When children are non-verbal it might be advisable to teach a manually coded language to give them a language that is very similar to the spoken one, so that they can learn the spoken language more easily. But in all cases it should be noted that a natural language (natural sign language, or manually coded version of a natural language) should be used because they are learnt more easily and have proven to be efficient for everything you want to express.

However…

There is still a long way ahead because most people don’t know any sign language and so it is hard to find situations where you can actually use this language that appears to be more natural for your demands of a language in many occasions. That is why it is so vital that not only autistic but also allistic people learn sign language, not only to make the world more accessible for deaf/Deaf people (which would be a very pleasant side effect) but also to facilitate communication for people from the autistic spectrum among themselves and between the autistic and allistic world.

When something appears to be so useful as this for a certain group of people with a disability (or special needs if you don’t like the d-word) it should be made more public, more adopted by the community itself and structures should be created to ease this process.

Sign language teachers should be informed or trained about autism and how to integrate people with it into the course. (Especially paying more attention to the acquisition of body language and facial expressions as linguistic ways of meaning and to the slightly different motives of learning sign language.) If you are visting a sign language course I can recommend to tell your teacher about your autism, your motives and what you wish to learn from her/him.

That would be it from me now and these were just some major pros I wanted to present. There are of course many more reasons why it can be very advantageous for autistic people to use sign language.
If you reached this point I am very happy you made it so far, thank you a lot. I would be very interested in hearing about your feelings, thoughts and experiences concerning this topic and hope for constructive discussions. Cheers.

anonymous asked:

Would it be okay to learn sign language for going nonverbal so I can still kind of communicate since people insist on making me communicate when I have go nonverbal? Idk but I feel like if do people might be like "oh you're not deaf or incapable of talking all the time? then you are insensitive and bad for using sign language when you go nonverbal"

Sign language is used by a lot of non-verbal and semi verbal people, especially autistic people. You aren’t appropriating anything.

Some may still claim it isn’t your place to use sign language, but that’s ridiculous. It’s a language. You wouldn’t tell someone not to learn Spanish just because they aren’t hispanic or latinx. And with sign language, there’s an actual necessity for some because they can’t easily communicate in other ways.

If something like sign language can help you, it is definitely okay to use it. You will need to make sure that those you need to communicate with also know it, however.

- palp

anonymous asked:

I have a headcanon that a lot of Tony's quirks come from being autistic. Sure, he can pass in public just fine, but when he gets home after a party with all the lights and people, he just crashes. He needs to be alone,he needs to drown out all the little sounds with one big sound, his music, he needs to focus, to use his hands, and even alcohol can be a coping mechanism, dulling the sensory input he receives. (1... follow up follows)

(2: ) So, sometimes, when he’s running low on energy, his asd shows a bit more, he’s more fidgety, worse at looking at people and either unisually monosyllabic or extremely hyperverbal, unable to keep in even the worst of his snark. He forgets to eat and sleep. I’d love to think that the others slowly get behind why these things happen and are completely unbothered by his quirks and his partner would completely have his back when Tony needs support.


This is a beautiful headcanon, thank you so much for sharing it!! [Warning: My knowledge on autism is limited. I did some research on scriptautistic as a resource (I can recommend all the script blogs, by the way), but that has hardly turned me into an all-knowing goddess (it’s more comparable with being upgraded from ‘utterly ignorant’ to ‘slightly less ignorant’), so please take everything with a healthy dose of scepticism. And if you have any concerns or I’ve messed up in any way, please shoot me a quick ask/message to let me know!]

Let’s start with the team first: It would probably take them a while to catch on. Not entirely through their or Tony’s fault, it’s mostly that Tony’s rarely around those first weeks after the other Avengers have moved into the tower. And even when he is, he usually manages to shut himself off into the workshop before he has a meltdown, which is hardly unusual behaviour as far as the team is concerned.

I think Thor might be the one who figures it out first? Maybe not that Tony is autistic, at least not right away, but he’s very loud usually. And for all that some gossip magazines like to paint him as the dumb foreigner/comic relief, he’s actually very attentive and notices when Tony reacts negatively to him. Maybe he flinches, maybe he avoids Thor when possible, whatever it is, Thor notices and it bothers him. So he pays more attention.

He eventually asks Bruce for help once he’s sufficiently confused by the mixed signals Tony is sending him (aka whether Tony dislikes him personally or it’s something else). Once Bruce actually pays attention and he starts pulling up relevant data and stuff, it’s really just a matter of time until he figures it out. And when that happens, well. A secret doesn’t stay a secret inside the Avengers’ home for very long…

Nobody on the team approaches Tony though. They all agree–well, Bruce agreed, and once he side-eyed everyone with sufficient greenery, no one was going to disagree–that he should come to them when he’s ready, etc. Still, Thor takes care to speak on a lower volume. And Natasha returns all the system settings, from the binds to the usual volume of the TV, that Clint messed around with at one point back to their former settings. Oh, and nobody protests anymore or tries to stop Tony from suddenly fleeing the room.

In the end, they never find out whether Tony would have told them on his own, because life happens and he suffers a complete meltdown in front of the team only two weeks later.

Natasha is the first to realise what’s happening and is pulling Steve back even as Tony throws himself behind the couch, pure terror written across his face. “Back off!” she snaps, low and all the more serious for it. “Give him space!”

It’s the kind of battle voice they’re all used to obeying, even before understanding dawns in Bruce’s eyes as well. “JARVIS!” he calls out softly. “Shutdown mode, please.”

The AI doesn’t answer, but the TV and radio in the kitchen are immediately turned off and the lights are dimmed. Even the running dishwasher stops and within moments the entire room is dark and quiet.

Minutes pass like this, before finally Tony crawls out from his hiding place again.

“Are you feeling better?” Clint asks, not moving from where he sits cross-legged on the floor, waiting patiently.

Eventually, it earns him a quick nod and a quiet “Sorry about that.” There’s an odd mixture of shame and embarrassment in Tony’s expression. Both of which are emotions the team isn’t used to seeing on him–and it bothers them all the more that they see it under these circumstances.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for,” Clint states firmly, leaving no room for argument.

(Not that Tony truly believes them that first time. But at least they can finally talk about what they can do to make things easier, what to avoid etc. It’s a surprisingly fruitful discussion, never mind the confused and suspicious glances Tony keeps shooting them.)

(A couple of things are still trial and error for the team. It takes them some time to figure Tony’s non-verbal signs out, to be able to tell when he needs a hug and when any touch might overwhelm him. And even when they do everything right, shutdowns and meltdowns are still a part of it, and though they aren’t that common for Tony, they get never any easier to watch.)

(Tony meanwhile is blown away by how much the others try to take his limits into account and are they actually respecting his boundaries?

It’s weird. It’s great.)

Now to the partner: I couldn’t decide for the longest time who Tony’s partner would be in this ‘verse (really, go with whomever you prefer) but I eventually decided on Clint. Clint, who is absolutely perfect–as far as Tony is concerned at least–and who is absolutely sickening in love–as far as Natasha is concerned.

They’ve been friends for a long time before they finally start dating, so in some regards at least, not a lot of change is required. The entire team has learned (and later been told by Tony) that he sometimes struggles to interpret their mood and body-language. So they have a system where, when Tony asks Clint about their day, he tells him directly how he feels. (Which is probably the first time Clint’s bluntness comes into handy relationship-wise.)

(Also, while Clint has free access towards Tony’s penthouse and sleeps there more often than in his own bed, the workshop remains off-limits except for short exceptions. That’s Tony’s room alone, where he gets to hide from any and everything, and it remains that way.)

(By the way, there’s absolutely no denying it, not that Clint ever would: he loves being with Tony. Whether it’s sex or cuddling or a massage, it doesn’t matter. Tony’s just so damn sensitive to even the slightest touch and Clint loves it.)

All in all their relationship isn’t perfect, of course it isn’t, but they’re doing pretty damn well–and will kick the ass of whatever unfortunate person says otherwise. Together. Because they’re awesome like that.

(The slap you just heard in the background was Natasha hitting Clint upside the head, but you already knew that, didn’t you?)

Dating Credence and being deaf and mute would includes

Based on an ask. 


• He’d honestly be thrilled to have you. Because here is a person who understands him without him having to verbalise his feelings.


• Your ability to detect his moods and temperament from his body language, gestures and expressions was what attracted Credence to you in the first place. Finally there was someone who actually GOT him. And vice versa because he has suffered so much that he knows how to read people very well.


• To others, Credence may at times, come off as aloof and reserved because of his quiet nature, timid even. But you recognised the silent strength coursing through those veins with a mere look in his eyes, the unshakeable force that was his Obscurus, forged through some life altering hardships.


• And despite knowing this, this being his ability to wreck devastation at any given moment, you still want to be with him and he appreciates that the most. It takes courage and boundless love to look at a mass of churning black tendrils, coiled dangerously and still adore the ghostly pale boy shrouded within. 


• There would be a lot of long stares, each eye contact carrying much deeper conversations than words can ever convey. After a period of time, this would become so common that your friends would just sigh and say, “They’re at it again. What do you think they actually do?” The subtleties might be lost on others but he would understand exactly what you wanted or felt just by looking at you.


• He would learn to accept and seek comfort in your touch (this is a huge milestone considering his abusive past) and it is a major means of communication between you two. Holding hands, forehead kisses, neck kisses, soft squeezes and lazy explorations of your body. Him constantly seeking your body’s warmth and snuggling up to you, especially on wintry nights, tracing patterns on your skin with his calloused hands just to make sure that you are really present in the flesh and not a surreal dream his mind conjured up (because he feels that you dating him is too good to be true). 


• Credence is thankful to have you by his side. He is especially grateful as to how you immediately notice when he tenses up, struggling to control the Obscurus and prevent it from wrecking havoc. All it takes is your reassuring hand resting on his shoulder for him to calm his frayed nerves and focus. Its gentle weight is a comfort he didn’t know he needed. You ground him and he thinks that he has become a bit more human (he at least hopes that the monster within him can now be tamed) with you by his side.


• When Credence comes to know that you know how to lip read, he finally realises why you always seem to be staring at his lips. And here he thought that you wanted to kiss him!! He would blush a dull pink and blurt it out, out of sheer embarrassment.
You surprising him with an actual kiss just because he is so adorable. Him responding enthusiastically because he has found a new way to show that he loves you. Credence making such declarations of love when you least expect them and quite frequently at that ;) 


• You teaching him non verbal spells (they were one of your strong points, ten times more potent than average wizard spells because you were that awesome) because they suited his obscurial magic the best. When he finally learns to masterfully control his magic, people compliment him on his abilities and he just shrugs and says, “I learnt from the best.”


• Credence knows that your determination is what helped you overcome every obstacle that came your way, small or big, and he is extremely proud of you for being the way you are. He often jokes about how he fears you will one day throw him out of the window by sheer will power if an argument turns bad. 


• He is your pillar of strength. He is extremely supportive and non-judgemental. Credence gives you the freedom to independently fight your own battles but with the knowledge that if you ever need him, he’ll always be there. 


• You love how he communicates his displeasures, opinions or views about anything without filtering it or being afraid of what you might think. He doesn’t coddle you or ever second guess his actions, unlike the way some people tend to. That doesn’t mean he would take any offence lying quietly. Credence is fiercely protective of you in a silent, no nonsense manner and knows when to pull the intimidating aura if required.


• Though he has never been much of a talker, he feels the urge to carry out actual deep conversations with you. That is when he decides to learn sign language. It takes months for him to master it (he stubbornly states that he won’t do anything meant for you in a half assed manner), because it’s either being an ALS expert or nothing. He springs it as a surprise and takes you so unawares that you are truly lost for words, even the non verbal ones.


• The first thing he signs makes you cry tears of joy. It is not a clichéd ‘I love you’, because he says that every day with every gesture and in the very way he looks at you.  “I’ll speak to you for eternity. Will your heart hear me?”


A/N: Hope you like this anon. I tried to balance the fluff and certain thoughtful aspects. Excuse any typos that may have crept in.

Patience

This is a huge pet peeve of mine.

I’m the only employee where I work (tiny consignment store). I get to work 20 minutes before I open so I can eat and clean up any mess I was too lazy to deal with the night before.

People will come to the store 10-15 minutes early, which is fine, obviously. But then they see me inside and start knocking on the window. I’ll point to the sign or tap my wrist to non verbally indicate I’m not open and they clearly see me sitting at the desk eating (huge windows in the store let you see the entire inside). They will proceed to stand at the door and stare at me. Or try the door every 30 seconds.

Just wait patiently. When people do this it throws the rest of my day off because then I feel rushed in the morning.

It just bugs me because if I wasn’t there, they wouldn’t be doing this. Respect the hours on the sign. Respect the fact I’m eating.

Thanks for letting me rant ❤

Modern Day Headcanons!

Happy belated Loop Day!

* Hugh has lotsa shirts with plants or bees on them.
* Horace never stops being dapper. Ever.
* Enoch tends to either stick with his overalls or wear baggy t-shirts or hoodies. (He doesn’t even bother with fashion at all. Comfort > style.)
* Fiona starts to wear pants and overalls, many of which are smeared with dirt, mud, and grass due to her garden work.
* Emma makes toast in the mornings. She always has to wash her hands twice before handling the bread, though. (There have also been a few occasions where she accidentally set the toast on fire…)
* Breakfast is an organized disaster. Everyone is passing food and chatting and half-ready for the day.
* Horace once didn’t get a good night’s sleep, and fell asleep face first into his food.
* *Plop* *SNOOOORE*
* Everyone takes turns making meals.
* Hugh and Fiona usually make something with lotsa fruit or vegetables: fruit salad, BLTs, veggie-beef stew, smoothies…to name a few.
* Horace and Jacob cannot cook to save their lives, so they just make sandwiches for everyone.
* Bronwyn, Olive and Claire can produce some nice dishes from the cookbooks the Portmans have.
* Millard says he can cook
* But he actually can’t
* He gets frustrated too easily
* Miss P. usually ends up helping him out
* Enoch is (surprisingly) actually a decent cook.
* He usually ends up making breakfast due to his LEGENDARY PANCAKE SKILLS
* But he mostly ends up making three (3) servings of pancakes (for Miss P., Horace, and himself) and cereal for the poor souls who don’t get the pancakes.
* Everyone is highkey suffering
* They need those pancakes
* Jacob introduces everyone to Just Dance, and they’re all crazy for it.
* Team Fugh and Team Enorace are really hard to beat.
* Enoch and Hugh tend to always do the feminine part of the dance.
* Mario Kart night is chaos.
* Everyone is yelling and laughing and throwingGODDAMMIT HUGH STOP IT WITH THE BLUE SHELLS
* *Evil laughter*
* Emma. Dominates. Mario Kart.
* (Though Fiona gave her a run for her money on the one piranha plant level)
* Bronwyn accidentally broke her controller and apologized to Jacob for two weeks straight.
* Horace is the KING of Rock Band.
* Drums, guitar, all of it.
* The kids actually like playing modern specialty board games
* Munchin is Enoch’s favorite.
* He always plays as a halfling thief and fucking destroys everyone.
* He’s successfully stolen at least fifty things from each player, and has so many cards per game, you don’t even KNOW.
* His favorite strategy is playing a ‘Wandering Monster’, then a 'Mate’, and then various monster enhancers on someone who pissed him off.
* Betrayal at the House on the Hill, Hive (Hugh LOVES Hive), Elder Sign, Pandemic, Fobidden Island, and Castle Panic are also family favorites.
* Many rooms in the Portman house are filled with little air plants and succulents, courtesy of Fiona.
* She loves the little shits. So. Much.
* There are always bees buzzing around and pollinating them.
* Mrs. Portman once accidentally swatted at one of Hugh’s bees,,,
* She REALLY got chewed out by Hugh.
* Fiona gets paralyzed from the waist down after falling off of the cliff, so she has to use a wheelchair now.
* She also learns sign language, so she can communicate non-verbally.
* Horace. Loves. Shopping.
* He’ll drag whoever’ll come with him along for HOURS.
* Enoch doesn’t mind it as much as he says he does.
* Mainly because seeing Horace so excited and invested is actually really adorable…
* …but he’d die before he’d tell anyone that.
* Millard often sneaks into school with the kids, usually following either Jacob or Emma around.
* He’ll sometimes even help them if he sees them struggling with something.
* The kids still celebrate Loop Day!
* They play all the games and stuff, and even still do all of the ridiculous decorating—the area around Enoch’s room looks like it came straight out of Halloween Town—and cake.
* Seriously that’s like 300 candles

Autistic Fictional Characters Asks

I’ve never seen one like this so decided to make one, I’m Autistic myself so some of the questions are based on my own experiences as  an autistic person.

put a number or a few in my ask and a fandom, & I’ll pick a character(s) I see as autistic & tell you:


1. How are they with clothing textures? are they fine with fashionable but uncomfortable clothes or do they prefer casual & comfy? or other? 

2. Stimming head canons?

3. how do they feel about touch?

4. favourite foods & textures?

5. hated foods & textures?

6. how do they feel about music?

7. what calms them down?

8. Do they know they’re Autistic? if so when & how did they realise? 

9. if you hc them as self diagnosed how did that impact their life? 

10. do they have friends? if so, are they accepting and accommodating? 

11. how do they prefer to communicate? are they non verbal/have periods of being non verbal? do they use sign language? do they talk? do they prefer text, etc? 

12. Is there any senses they struggle with particularly? (hearing, taste, etc) 

13. their special interests? 

14. are they open about being autistic or do they prefer to keep it to themselves?

15. if you ship them with anyone how is the other person(s) with them? (do they like listening to them info dump cause of how happy it makes them. do they know what smells/textures/places/etc to avoid so not to stress them out. etc)

16. if you ship them with anyone how are they with the other person(s)? (do they figure out code words together to understand what each other is feeling better, etc)

17. how do they prefer their hair? (if they have hair of course), is it a big issue sensory wise or is it not?, do they have their hair for style? comfort? do they find it hard to take care of it? or is it well maintained? do they have to have a certain product or is any ok?

18. are they generally well kept? or do they find it hard to keep up good hygiene?

19. what would be their ideal happy place?

20. what would be their idea of sensory hell?

anonymous asked:

I have an abdl little who is on the autism spectrum and super sensitive. When I go to rub her back or tickle her, she says it feels good for a certain amount of time and then it starts to feel like sandpaper. Do I stop touching her altogether? Or just switch things up? She is mostly nonverbal so most of our communication is through text. I love her and want to help her without hurting her.

the first thing that comes to mind is using the stoplight system.

Autistics (depending on where on the spectrum they are) can react to color quite well, especially when non-verbal. So if not using sign language, I could recommend the stoplight system. simply put, get three cards.. one green.. one yellow and one red. post card size is probably fine.

you can have it one of two ways, either have them laying face down in your immediate area, or hole punch the corner of them and put them on a ring. then, much like a stoplight.. green means go. yellow means you should slow down or prepare to stop, and red is the safe word. on the ring she could hold it in her hands and have control of it… if not on the ring, its simply laid out side by side and she can flip the cards over according to her need/reactions.

If she can get accustom to it, and use it, it could provide some great success. 

Once she does I would encourage you to become hyper aware to a few things:

when shes in green mode, what does her face look like? is it joy… is it blank, does it change when yellow pops up… and her feet. is she a tapper? a dangler? a shuffler.. maybe she starts squeezing her pinky finger.. or even hyper focusing on a certain object in the room… being non verbal she could be communicating different moods and emotions through even the slightest use of body language or appendages. repetitive instances can give you a lot of insight if you pay attention.

if you can fine tune your awareness of her stoplight colors to how her body is reacting, it will make it easier on you in the future. 

I also do know that some littles and such who follow me are in these roles for jobs and work with and have autistic and learning roadblocked children and family members and such everyday and could probably offer some insight in the comments.. so be sure to come back in about 24 hours and check.