The Long and Short, Short of It
Description: Eren tries to bake cookies for his Valentine. It’s a disaster.
“What are we doing exactly?” Armin asked, eyeing the mess piling up on the counters.
By “we” he meant the royal “we,” not “we” as in “he and Eren” because he definitely wanted no part of whatever was about to take place. However, concern for his best friend meant that he couldn’t simply ignore the ominous sound of a brand new cookie sheet being slapped on the counter. So the “we” was more of a suggested “we.” A wee “we,” if you will. The kind of “we” that involves Armin taking Eren to the hospital for burns and being berated by Mikasa, because this is where this endeavor was heading.
“I was thinking how everyone gives chocolate or roses for Valentine’s Day,” Eren said, pulling out a large bag of flour.
“Right,” Armin nodded, following so far.
“And it is so trite, you know? Just more of the consumptive capitalist Hallmark culture that is poisoning our society.”
“Mhm,” Armin nodded, still focusing on the word “consumptive” and wondering if Eren meant that capitalism was like a disease or if he meant “consumer culture.” There was a lot of work to being Eren’s best friend. A great portion of it was saying as little as possible.
“And I got to thinking, instead of being just another cog in the machine, another screw in the wheel, why not instead make something?”
Armin was stuck on “screw in the wheel.”
“I called up Sasha and asked her for her favorite cookie recipe and I’m going to do it. I’m going to make cookies so delicious and so beautiful everyone on Pinterest will be all ‘Wow, those look amazing can I have the recipe?’ and I’ll be all ‘SIKE! The secret ingredient is my baller cooking skills!’”