An AU I want to write but have no time for: After the failed Suna mission Sakumo leaves his hitai-ate on the Hokage's desk with a note that says Konoha doesn't need a shinobi who doesn't follow the rules if they're going to war, leaves Kakashi a much longer letter about his reasons (and hints of where to find him if Kakashi needs him), and leaves the village for the warring era Hatake clan lands. Cue the Great Nations freaking out over FreeAgent!Sakumo as he tries out farming. He almost starves.
Oooh, that could be a fun AU! Terrible farmer!Sakumo mostly getting by because people take pity on his horrible gardening skills, and in return Sakumo just…fixes things for them. Like a shinobi. Except his refrain is “I’m not a shinobi I’m a farmer!”
Kakashi very quietly changes his name and starts wearing a hat.