and the fbi dude


Don’t know if this made the tumblr rounds yet, but this dude got in trouble with the FBI after he sent the CIA anime porn and terrorist threats via twitter.

Ok ok but Maggie being like a stone cold bitch at work and everyone is kinda afraid of her. She’s women and a lesbian so she can’t afford to screw up and she’s serious all the time and everyone in the precinct see her as like the ice queen. She doesn’t take sexist shit and shes had more than a few run-ins with ‘good old boy’ cops for her coworkers to know she can have a temper. Basically Maggie’s attitude is just like when Maggie first meets Alex. She’s confrontational and cocky but shes also very private. And when all of the other cops see Maggie around this hot FBI agent they like freak out.

 "Dude that FBI chick just kissed the Sawyer’s cheek and Sawyer smiled?“ 

 "Ok I actually saw the ice queen giggle. No joke" 

 "Bro they were holding hands…… And it was kinda cute" 

“She called the FBI chick ‘sweetheart’?!?!?!?!?!”

I want Maggie being that bitch™ at work and everyone losing their minds when they see how soft she is with Alex!!!!!!

I just, I just fucking love the idea of Stiles building a new branch of the FBI. 

Like, he does his time in the trenches, he shuffles paperwork, he goes on missions, he takes down numerous bad guys. He’s a good, nay GREAT agent. But then something happens, someone of the supernatural evil persuasion comes on the scene and wants to take the world down. 

Stiles with all his supernatural knowledge goes to the director of the FBI and tells him, this is what he is and this is how we beat him. and because this has been going on for months Director Watsizname lets Stiles assemble a small task force to try his idea out. 

(Of fucking course Stiles reaches out to Derek to help, but I imagine the scene kind of like the one where Charles and Xavier try to get logan into the xmen and logan just goes ‘no’ and they leave him out of it.)

So Stiles gets like Argent and the Yukimauras, and beacon hills reunion am i right?

anyway… stiles and his task force work and get the guy, (there is an opposing task force also trying to get the guy, but they’re a human task force so they don’t know what they’re getting into.) and stiles and his little force of high school bffs gets the big bad and to reward him, Director Watsizmane gives him another case in colorado and Stiles gets a new partner and Stiles thinks it’s hilarious that he gets to roll around the country like fucking Sam and Dean Winchester to fix supernatural shit gone bad. 

That starts the construction of the Supernatural Affairs Division of the FBI (”Boss, our acronym can’t be FBI: SAD. that’s just… well.. sad…”) erm… the Supernatural Investigation Division? (”Now people will think my name is Sid or they’ll think of dying babies, do you want people to think of dying babies director?”) How about Department of Supernatural Affairs? FBI: DSA? Is that okay for you? (”DUDE!!! That is sooo much better!!!”)[Stiles goes around for days opening doors and yelling “FBI: DSA GET ON THE GROUND!!!” to his coworkers who have no idea what he is talking about]

the department is kept in the dark, theless people who know it exists the better. Stiles makes the code of the department” Nous protègons ceux qui ne peuvent pas se protèger eux-měmes” for Allison. (and the fbi director and the president aren’t happy it’s french, they would prefer latin or something. but Stiles is firm that it needs to be french.)

The department grows slowly, only bringing in experienced agents who have already seen some questionable things while on missions. They work with Area 51 sometimes, other times they work with a supernatural version of liverpool. 

Soon, the DSA is big enough to warrant it’s own headquarters (”Stilinski, it’s not a secret lair” “Chief we have an airplane hanger mined into a mountain. It’s a secret lair,”) 

Derek, Stiles’ husband, helps out sometimes, but not too often, he’d rather stay at home and focus on his woodworking business or something.

and eventually, Stiles becomes the head of the DSA and he has a really cool office like Ice Cube’s in 22 Jump Street (as per his request (omg what a loser)). he’ll sit up in his office as he sees new kids, both human and supernatural, come into the secret lair for the first time and see how great it is. they stop many many supernatural attacks in america, but also worldwide. Derek brings him lunch sometimes.

this is his legacy, and when he retires, they put a bust of him in the hall of fbi fame and another in the DSA headquarters. 

Catching Up

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Dean smiled like a teenager as the Y/H/C head FBI agent approached he and Sam. 

“Dude,” Dean whispered, hitting Sam on the arm to get his attention. “Look at her,” he mumbled as a smile spread across her face the closer she got to them. 

“Y/N?” Sam asked, his arms spread wide, a goofy grin spreading across his face now too. 

“Sammy!” you greeted him, stretching up on your toes to throw your arms around his shoulder. “It’s been too long!” you sighed into him. 

The Winchesters were at your work. This couldn’t be good. You knew the case you and your team had been trailing felt off, but you had tried to convince yourself that it was just some sicko, not something supernatural

You pulled away from Sam and smiled at Dean. 

“Hey Bean,” you laughed, punching him in the shoulder. 

You had always had a crush on the elder Winchester, and seeing him with that beautiful smile on his face, staring dumbly at you was certainly doing things to you, even after all these years. 

Dean tossed his head back in laughter. 

“Man, no one has called me that in, in years,” he chuckled. “Pretty sure you’re the only one that has ever called me that, come to think of it,” he added. “’Mere,” he mumbled, grabbing you by the hip and pulling you close. “I deserve a hug too, right?” he teased as his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you into him. 

You chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his shoulder, squeezing him to you and breathing in deeply. Your nostrils were filled with the smell of whiskey, soap, and leather. You sighed heavily as Dean squeezed you tighter. 

“Damn Dean,” you laughed, forcing yourself to push away from him as your heart started to race a little too quickly. “You’re all about those chick flick moments now, eh?” you smirked. 

“You’ve changed,” he commented, his eyes roaming you and coming back to meet your gaze. 

You smiled softly at him, your brows furrowing slightly. 

“I grew up, Bean. It was bound to happen,” you said with a wink. 

“You grew up good,” he commented, licking his lips. 

You felt yourself flush, heat settling in places they shouldn’t be, especially at work. 

“Seriously, Dean?” Sam scoffed.

“Anyway,” you laughed nervously. “Why the hell are you two here? If you’re here, it can’t be good,” you scoffed, looking around the office to make sure no one was listening. “This wasn’t just some sicko, huh?” you sighed, resigned. 

“Is it ever that easy, sweetheart?” Dean asked, using the nickname he reserved for women he was typically trying to pick up. You felt yourself flush again. 

“Believe it or not, sometimes it is.”

“When do you get off?” Dean asked, eyeing you carefully. 

“I’m gonna go check out the case files in your office,” Sam said, dismissing himself and slipping into your office behind you. 

“Whenever I can,” you chuckled, meeting his gaze. He smiled back at you, a devilish look crossing his face. “Bout’ an hour,” you answered, biting your lip nervously. 

Dean grabbed your hip and pulled you to him again, his face quickly approaching yours, his nose bumping yours as his lips hovered over your lips. 

“I want to take you out for a drink. Talk about the case. Catch up. A lot has changed in four years,” he mumbled, his lips barely connecting with yours before pulling away. He was testing the waters, asking for permission. 

“It has,” you breathed, your lips chasing his, connecting finally with his full lips. He sucked your bottom lip between his, his hand resting at the small of your back, pressing you into him. You felt him growl when your tongue flicked  out against his, and felt a surge of electricity course through you. 

“You sure you don’t get off for another hour?” Dean asked, breaking the kiss and pulling away from you. 

“I think I can duck out early,” you relented, looking around the office, stepping away from Dean and straightening your skirt. 

“Sammy, we’re gonna head out. I’m gonna catch Y/N up on what we know. Get her side of the story too,” Dean said, poking his head into your office. 

“Sure,” Sam answered, his head buried in the files. 

Dean placed a hand at the small of your back, ushering you toward the front door. He leaned over and whispered in your ear. 

“I’m pretty sure we’ve got some catching up to do before I catch you up on this case,” he growled, his lips grazing your neck. “So, we catching up at your place or my hotel?”

You stepped through the door and caught a glimpse of baby. She was still as beautiful as ever. He stepped up to the door and reached for the handle, but you shoved him against the door, pressing yourself firmly against him. 

“My place,” you answered, your lips connecting with his as your nails dug into his shirt, causing him to moan against your lips. 

“I think I remember the way,” Dean murmured, opening the door for you, watching you slide in gracefully. 

You took a deep breath as you watched Dean walk around to his door, his eyes not leaving yours. 

This wasn’t exactly how you expected your day to end. The case you were working drawing the Winchester’s attention, Dean taking an interest in you. Dean’s lips on yours, his hands pawing at you with need but here you were. 

As he slid into the seat, you scooted close to him, palming is growing erection softly. 

“Who says we gotta wait to catch up until we get to my place?” you teased, reaching to unbuckle his pants. 

“Shit,” Dean groaned, putting baby into gear and lurching forward as he pulled out of the parking lot. “A lot really has changed in four years, huh?” he growled. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this Dean. We’ve got a lot of catching up to you,” you whispered as you pulled him from his pants and stroked him lightly, causing his foot to press the gas a little too hard. 

He grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you fiercely before speeding up. “Well let’s get to catching up then,” he said, his hand sliding down your thigh and up under your skirt. 

This was definitely going to be one happy reunion. 

Dean Winchester X Daughter!Reader- Blazin’ By (Part 1)

This is part one of my first series!!  Enjoy!!

Word count: 1,925

Warning: Light swearing, descriptions of muurrrddeerrr, etc.

Hitting the steering wheel to the beat of a Green Day song on the radio, you waited for the light to turn green.  The usual soft rumble of your car was drowned out by the loud song and your off key singing, making you smile at the normalcy.  It had been a long time since you were this carefree, but you knew it wouldn’t last.  You were in this town to deal with the strange deaths that occurred in the past few weeks.  Based on the evidence you accumulated on researching on your way here, you guessed it was a demon, siren or a witch.

The loud engine of a car to your left snapped you out of your thoughts, making you look over.  A classic black car stopped next to you, an Impala you guessed.  Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song was blasting through its radio, making you smile.  The revving of the car next to you made you smirk, revving your own car in return.  That Impala may be a nice car, but its engine was no match for your Blazer’s.  Moving your eyes to the light, you waited for it to turn green, the suspense making you shiver with anticipation.  This guy had no idea who he was going up against.

Keep reading

Giving a hand pt. 1[BTS Smut]

Originally posted by sugasuite

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5  | PART 6


COUNT → 3457

GENRE → Smut


SUMMARY: Your work is not the typical job, you give hand jobs for money, but instead of feeling ashamed by it you’re comfortable with it. Until a man offers you to work in his company, where you would use your abilities to please seven guys.

N/A: This first part is basically introduction. The real action starts in part two and I’ll try to upload every week. 

Truth is, you didn’t hate your job. Anyone hearing you might say you’re crazy, many women around the world would probably shake their heads in disapproval, and your family would probably faint if they knew what you do for money. But you didn’t hate it. Not even a little bit. At the beginning, sure, who wouldn’t? But you started to like it and now you came to work without a trace of shame or guilt. It was a job, it payed the bills and that was more than enough for you.

You heard about the job a year ago, you were struggling to pay the rent and your work as a barista wasn’t enough. You found about it in a newspaper, there was a vacant in a hotel that recently had opened “Girl between 20 and 25 years old, good presentation, experience with customers, good with her hands”, that’s what the announce read and you decided to give it a try and went to the interview. You never expected what kind of job it really was.

Apparently the job was to give hand jobs. You could still remember the confusion you felt the moment the lady told you about it, your eyes were probably as big as the moon at that moment.  You were also embarrassed, because no, that’s not the kind of job you were looking for, and you repeated it to the lady at least five times without a pause. She explained to you that no one knew what the job actually was, because they didn’t know how to look for employees, she said they were looking for respectable young girls, and no girls with too much experience in the field. That’s why they were looking in a newspaper and not in an alleyway or someplace like that.

Keep reading

One Poster To Go, Please

I think I’m late with my second entry for the @txf-fic-chicks challenge? Or is the deadline tonight? Either way, I had to write it. 

Post-ep for “Chinga”. 

“So, uhm, if you want I could take you.” Scully raises a questioning eyebrow at him.

“To the shop. For the poster.” Mulder explains, swiveling in his chair to point at it. Another pencil falls on his head with a soft plop. Scully bites the inside of her cheek, hard, to stop herself from laughing. She missed him; but obviously not as much as he missed her.

“We have work to do, Mulder.” She tells him in what she hopes is a commanding voice.

“Nah, look around you,” she doesn’t, “The office is impeccable and each and every report is filed.” Scully stares at him, unblinking.

“I’m serious,” Mulder assures her as another pencil falls on the desk, rolls away and lands on the floor. Mulder clears his throat and quickly rises from his desk chair. “Call Skinner if you don’t believe me,” his hand lands on his spot on her back and she can’t help the small sigh that escapes her lips when she feels his warmth there, “Now come on.” Mulder gently pushes at her and finally Scully gives in.

“I do want to believe.” Scully sighs and Mulder, grabbing his coat, stops for a moment to glance at her. She grins, knowing he has questions; what really happened on your vacation, Scully? Maybe she is going to tell him. Right now though she enjoys the vague teasing too much.  

“Well, then,” he swallows hard, “Let’s go.”

And they do.

The head shop is not a place Scully wants to set foot in. Ever. She steals a glance at Mulder, who doesn’t even think twice about entering. She’s right behind him when a wall of sweet, heavy scents hits her in the face and immediately makes her dizzy.

“You sure this is where you got the poster?” She asks him and he nods. What she really wants to ask him is why he went into this shop in the first place. Then again maybe she doesn’t want to know.

“FBI dude!” Scully crashes into Mulder’s back momentarily before he takes a few more steps forward. She can barely see anything thanks to Mulder’s large form, but she sees a moving shadow and a moment later, when Mulder steps aside, she is introduced to “Spooky Carl” if his name tag is to be believed.

“Oh,” he grins at her, revealing a set of slightly crooked, very yellow teeth, “Is this an FBI lady?”

“She sure is.” Mulder replies. “This is my partner, Dana Scully.” For a moment she is afraid he’s going to extend his hand, but he just nods at her. Relieved, she does the same and gives him a small smile.

“What do you need, FBI dude? Some-”

“No,” Mulder immediately interjects, “The poster. Do you still sell them?”

“I sell a lot of posters, dude.”

“The I Want To Believe one,” Mulder specifies. Spooky Carl narrows his eyes for a moment before they spring open in acknowledgment. He snips his fingers, which Scully notes with some disgust, are almost as yellowish as his teeth.

“I know the one, dude. Let me check in the back. Took them there a while ago. Be right back.” He wanders off and Scully breathes a sigh of relief.

“Great place, huh?” Mulder point to some paraphernalia on a low hanging rack, grinning like a school boy. Scully has no idea what someone would even do with a thing like this, whatever it is.

“Yeah, I can see why you frequent this place.”

“Hey, I only came here because you wanted to get a poster for your – what was his name?”


“Jack, right.” Mulder seems to chew on the name, trying it out for taste. Judging by his face, he doesn’t like it very much. Or really at all.

“You know, he might misinterpret you sending him this.” Mulder tells her, his gaze averted.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a powerful message, Scully.” She feels a tickle in her throat; she swallows the need to laugh.

“He might think it's… you know.”

“No, Mulder, I actually don’t know. What are you talking about?”

“Let me explain it to you,” he turns to her, holding a small alien toy in his hand. What is this place, Scully wonders, before she loses track of her own thoughts. Mulder’s face is too close to hers to concentrate on anything else. “You spent some time with this Jack, right?” Tentatively, she nods.

“So you see, your dear friend Jack will probably think that you like him.”

“Like him.” She repeats slowly.

“Like him, yes. In a I like you, let’s date kind of way. I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you. Scully.”

“Mulder, it wasn’t like that.” Scully tells him, her voice sounding uncertain. Because maybe it was like that. Just a little bit. On his side anyway. She hardly got a good look at him, or spoken to him, really, with Mulder constantly calling her. Or Mulder’s ideas running in her head as if they belonged there.

“All right, if you say so.” Mulder shrugs, putting the alien back. “Should I buy it?”

“Seriously, Mulder it wasn’t like that!” Mulder tilts his head slightly and stares at her, puzzled.

“I just wanted your opinion on whether I should by the figurine, Scully.” She feels the blush start on her collarbone and creep up into her face..

“Uhm, yeah. I mean, no. Don’t buy that junk, Mulder.”

“You’re right,” he nods, “It’s just crap, isn’t it? Not worth it?”

“Right.” Scully draws out her answer, uncertain how to judge Mulder’s expression. Still pondering it, she almost doesn’t notice his face coming closer again.

“Scully?” His breath tickles her cheek and she shivers involuntarily.


“Do you really want to buy that poster?” She doesn’t. She doubts Mulder is right – who sees a poster as a form of flirty invitation? Well, Mulder would. That thought almost makes her smile. But just in case. He’s right either way; she doesn’t want to buy that poster and send it to Jack. Jack who? Her mind asks her, her eyes fixated on Mulder now.

“Hm, maybe not right now,” she admits, “Do you know what I really want?” His face inches even closer, awaiting her answer. Or something else entirely.

“I want to get out of here,” she breathes against him, enjoying his closeness, his warmth, and she almost closes her eyes just because,

“And get a coffee. Oh Mulder, the coffee in Maine was terrible.” His head snaps back, his eyes big as the saucer on his precious poster.

“Coffee.” He coughs.

“Yeah, come on. If I decide to get a poster for Jack after all,” Mulder looks ready to pout, “I know where to go. Now I want a coffee and I want you to tell me exactly what you did while I was gone.” And she never wants to lay eyes on Spooky Carl again ever. She’s fairly happy with her very own Spooky Mulder.

“It might surprise you.” Mulder tells her, his hand finding its spot again, ushering her out. The fresh air feels wonderful and Scully takes a deep breath. Mulder watches her in amusement.

“Then surprise me, Mulder.” He chuckles, shaking his head slightly.

“I really missed y-” he stops himself just in time, clears his throat. A soft blush spreads across his cheeks and around his nose. It looks unbelievably cute, Scully thinks. “You know, coffee.” He finishes lamely.

“I don’t believe you abstained from coffee while I was gone, Mulder.”

“I thought you wanted to believe.” He grins again as she hits his shoulder playfully.

I missed you, too, Scully thinks, and hopes that one day they manage to actually let the other know.

Stiles, texting frantically under his desk: DUDE WHY DOES THE FBI HAVE A VIDEO OF YOU RUNNING AROUND IN NC?

Derek: Ffs, I was CAMPING.

Derek: These stupid monster-hunter paparazzi people started following me around.*

Stiles: And? What did you do to them?

Derek: Nothing! I just told them to go away!

Stiles: Uh-huh. We are talking about this later.

*It was the always-inept Ghost Facers from Supernatural. He wouldn’t give them an interview, so they sent the video in as an anonymous tip to be petty.


Okay so you know how the oa had all those books under her bed ??? My mom just came into my room at 10 at night to tell me that they were here totems. The oa told her boys that societies that experience great loss have more totems. The books each represent someone she loved/lost-
The Oligarcs - her dad
The Iliad - Homer
The book of Angels - the boys / the captives
The book on NDEs - hap ????? Herself ?? Khatun ??

It makes sense, right ??? They were totems

Doesnt explain why the fbi dude was in her house ?? But thats a question for another day

Mulder nearly strangles a dude because he thinks he hurt or has information about Scully
Like he straight up nearly killed a dude
And now he’s fighting the whole fbi??

If this is a slowburn like everyone seems to be saying in my post can I say wtf??

What finally pushes him over the edge if it isn’t this??? Does he fight bigfoot?? Start an intergalactic war??? Does he have to singlehandedly punch every alien ever before he admits he loves scully???

anonymous asked:

I mentioned being anti-facist to this one kid who is... Alt-right at best. It was kind of an accident, but he wouldn't shut up for the rest of class about how antifa is a hypocritic movement and how you can't support social freedom without supporting economic freedom?? (yes you can, and also most of the antifas I know are capitalists?) He also said that the FBI was useless "because the CIA does their job for them". The CIA doesn't arrest pedophiles; the FBI does.

Dude far right wing people will literally turn on anyone for no reason

Like a lot of leftists and libertarians have purity problems but at least I’m willing to work with leftists on issues of social freedom, and I’ve had a lot of really good, thought provoking political conversation with people who’re super far left. Had a lot of that with libertarians. But I have never talked to a far right person where I could say I got something out of the interaction other than a desire to beat myself over the head. 

i just woke up and one of the first things I texted to thedamnriddler was– in all caps– about a Miss Congeniality AU for Teen Wolf. 

But just picture it– an omega pageant.  FBI!Stiles having to go under cover and get a hot dude make over because he’s the most beta omega that anyone has ever seen.  Kate is the crazy bitch who runs the pageant with her creepy dad Gerard and is planning to blow the winner up.  Scott is Mister Rhode Island

Someone get in on this with me. 

fbi man 1: target located
fbi man 2: that’s a goat?
fbi man 1: that’s DEFINITELY an alien
fbi man 2: no dude thats just literally what goats look like