and the father is a cutie pie


I was at university, playing Salieri in Peter Shaffer’s play Amadeus, when my dad told me, ‘You’re better than I ever was or will be. You’ll have a good time doing this. I’m going to support you’. It was a huge thing for a father to say to his son. It was very humbling and moving. One of the reasons I get out of bed in the morning and try to do my best each day is to make them proud.


Happy 100th Birthday, Dean Martin! 7. June 1917 -

“There will never be another Dean Martin. I’m certain his multitude of talents will remain in memories for many years. And aren’t we all very fortunate that he passed through our lives? And left us smiling? I know I am.” - Jeanne Martin

“Dean is a very sweet and gentle man. I envy his gentleness. He really is a patient, gentle man, a great father. Generous.” -Frank Sinatra

“He had more guts and more courage, more dignity, and carried himself with a kind of aplomb most men never even dream about. (…) He was magic to be around and had the exquisite ability to know what was funny. He would always say, ‘We’ll do this until it really looks like ad-libs,’ and he was right, we worked hard at what we did and it paid off. I still miss him, but the memories keep me warm.” - Jerry Lewis

That klance bodyguard au we love

I’ve been non-stop thinking about that klance bodyguard au and I wanted to write my own version but I’m not quite sure about how I want it to go, so here is just some random stuff I was thinking of including!!

-lance is the altean prince
-Keith is a member of the blade of marmora
-altea and BoM are allied in the fight against former black paladin zarkon and his galra army
-Keith is assigned to be prince lance’s bodyguard after an attempted kidnapping
-lots of langst in the beginning
-his father basically ignores him and heavily favours his sister, and he feels like he can never live up to his expectations
-basically just a sad lonely boy hiding behind a bright smile
-he is pretty close to his sister tho, and he knows for a fact that coran adores him
-lance develops a crush on his new bodyguard right away b/c Keith is a hot af badass whose actually a closet cutie pie
-Keith immediately thinks that the prince is totally cute, but he’s kinda slow to pick up on emotions so it takes him forever to figure out his own feelings
-when he does it’s mutual pining city
-Keith refuses to start anything w/lance for the longest time because he’s the prince and is definitely off limits
-but lance is super persistent, esp when Keith admits to liking him too
-eventually Keith will cave b/c he’s weak when it comes to lance
-a secret relationship begins
-lance will probably tell allura b/c she’s his best friend, and she’ll tell him it’s a bad idea but she won’t rat him out
-siblings that ride or die
-still the pressure of being prince and being in love and not able to tell anyone is slowly getting to lance
-he knows what he wants but he isn’t sure how to get it
-finally he makes a decision and tells Keith that he wants to run away together
-at first Keith will refuse (just like when they first got together)
-but we’ve already established that Keith is weak, so eventually he agrees
-he doesn’t really have any strong ties to anyone anyways
-lance will write these super long and emotional letters to coran and allura, who both cry profusely after reading them
-the letter he writes to his father is a lot more formal, but after all this time of barely even being on his radar he’s not quite sure what to say
-they leave in the dead of night is Keith’s ship
-can’t forget that he’s still the best pilot anyone’s ever seen, which means he gets the best ride
-it’s sleek and silent, has a convenient cloaking mechanism, can open wormholes and travel faster than anything else
-that things his baby
-when they first leave they don’t really have a destination in mind
-their main goal is to just get as far away as possible
-when alfor finds out his son is gone he’s beyond pissed that lance would pull something like this during a war
-but as time goes on and there’s still no sign of him he becomes worried
-eventually he realizes his mistakes and is super guilty for pushing his son away
-as Keith and lance travel they keep a low profile and try not to attract too much attention
-they eventually come across earth, a planet tucked far away on the outskirts of the known universe
-they take a stealthy look and fall in love with the blue planet
-they also think it’s the perfect place to start over
-you aren’t supposed to interfere with any planet or race that hasn’t developed enough to discover space on their own, but since they aren’t planning on standing out here they think it’s fine
-they spend their first few months on earth in a secluded desert shack, using their advanced tech to learn as much about their new home as possible
-lance uses his altean chameleon ability to look human
-for stories sake I’m headcannoning that galra can use their magic to somewhat change their appearance
-it still surprises them both when Keith is able to easily change his appearance to look completely human (first clue to half-human Keith)
-they fake their papers (gotta make it look like they’ve always lived on earth) and apply to the garrison (it’s the closest school, and they applied on a whim)
-they both make it in
-Keith is obviously top of the class (after flying super high tech alien spaceships, the ones on earth are like child’s play)
-lance is second (he isn’t nearly as good as Keith but again, super high tech alien ships are way harder to fly than earth stuff)
-lance and hunk meet when lance sneaks away one night to raid the kitchens for a midnight snack and finds hunk already there
-they hit it off right away and become best buds practically overnight
-Keith also likes hunk right away when lance introduces him the next day
-he’s easy to get along with and doesn’t mind Keith’s quietness
-hunk thinks Keith is pretty cool, and practically writes him a sonnet when Keith helps him learn to control his stomach in the simulator
-after that they become a dream team, and shiro (upperclassmen) takes notice
-at first he just introduces himself to them and gives them little pointers, but after spending some time together they all actually become pretty close
-hunk and lance cry when shiro leaves for the Cerberus mission, and laugh when he promises to bring them back some space rocks
-all three of them are worried when news travels about the missing Cerberus astronauts
-not long after this pidge joins the garrison
-they get adopted into the group almost immediately
-she and Keith bond over their shared love of conspiracies (Keith discovered them back while he and lance were still in the desert shack and quickly became obsessed)
-her and lance shoot one liners back and forth
-they get really into it, and sometimes hunk has to physically cover their mouths to get them to stop
-her and hunk talk tech for days
-the self proclaimed science bros
-the whole group becomes sort of like a makeshift family
-eventually lance and Keith agree to tell them their secret
-hunk is shook
-pidge is so excited that it gets a little creepy
-but they’re loyal so both agree to keep their secret
-not long after the reveal shiro crash lands back on earth the the group launch a rescue mission to save him from the government
-when he wakes up he tells him what little he can remember
-lance and Keith tell him about their past and use their knowledge to try and help him piece things back together
-shiro is convinced that the galra are coming to earth, so they use the tech in Keith’s ship to scan for other alien tech
-they don’t find anything galra but there is a weird signal coming from the desert
-they investigate and find the blue lion
-Keith and lance recognize it and tell the others about voltron and what happened to it
-the details are fuzzy b/c nothing was ever confirmed, but they do know that the last black paladin (zarkon) went awol and somewhere in the chaos the other paladins died and the lions were lost
-they find out that lance is the new blue paladin
-the blue lion guides them to the other lions, and eventually they form voltron
-they run into allura and Coran along they way, who left in the castle ship to try and find lance
-they are both overjoyed to find him and tell him what’s been happening while he was away
-zarkon attacked their planet while they were gone, and their father is MIA
-after this it follows a lot of the general plot of voltron with them liberating planets and fighting galra
-klance acts like an old married couple
-coran is both amused and happy for them
-pidge is so done with the both of them being all mushy and gross
-hunk thinks their story is super romantic and won’t stop teasing them about it
-allura and shiro would probably have more to say about it if they weren’t too busy making heart eyes at each other

There’s a whole lot more to this but I’m literally just typing things as they come and forgot the rest 😂 also ignore the terrible spelling and punctuation, I’m on mobile rn..

BTS as Fathers Would Include: Jimin

Fatherhood BTS Series 

Originally posted by chimcheroo

  • his babies inheriting his chubby cheeks and adorable smile
  • it would be such a cute family in general like wow
  • smol and soft dad
  • they would also probably inherit his smol hands too
  • his babies doing the thing were they latch onto his tiny fingers with their even tinier ones

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Take Your Child To Work Day

SPN FanFic

~Daddy Jared and Uncle Jensen get conned by your cutie-pie daughter~

Jared x Reader, OFC Juliana, Jensen

846 Words

Warnings: Daddy!Jared Fluff Feels? Idk. Nothing bad. 

A/N: I’m having feelings after the Padafamily picture, OK? Sue me. 

“Daddy are you gonna take me?” your daughter Juliana looked up at her father, wide eyed and inquisitive as always; her hazel eyes a perfect match for his.

Jared smiled his curious smile and shook his head quickly in confusion. “Take you where Jules?”

“To the work,” she said, sticking out her hip and leaning her hand on it just like you did. You laughed from your spot in the kitchen as you watched the scene unfold. For a five year old, she was sassy as hell.

“To my work?” he asked, holding back a laugh.

Jules rolled her eyes, “Yeah Daddy, it’s ‘Take Your Child To Work Day’. So you take your child to your work.”

Jared nodded, pretending to consider her question. He rubbed his chin and hummed. “Huh, well, it just so happens that Mommy has some scenes this week, so we’ll all be going to work tomorrow.”

It took a moment for the information to make it’s way past all the attitude, but finally Juliana understood and a bright smile grew on her little face. She clapped and ran into Jared’s open arms, squealing as he lifted her into the air with ease. “Thank you Daddy!”

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Maybe in the Teenage Dadvid AU, David didn’t have plans to adopt Max at first. He brought him to the authorities and they planned on finding him a proper foster home.

But three-year-old Max is about as much of a troublemaker as ten-year-old Max. Only a lot more scream-y and a lot more bite-y. He’s a handful, and goes through a few families before the authorities call David back. They saw how Max didn’t seem to scream or yell while in David’s arms when he brought him in, and because of who his father is, they’d be willing to pull some strings if David wanted to foster or adopt him. Which, of course, he’s more than happy to do.

Gwen still thinks it’s a bad idea, but she’s not about to tell David how to live his life. And she IS pretty happy to see the little brat again. He’s a cutie pie.

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you’ve got some nice buns!

There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

You’re the only girl I love now… but in ten years, I’ll love another girl. She’ll call you ‘Mommy.’

Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.

Hey, don’t frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.

My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.

For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout!

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling

There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

You may be asked to leave soon, you’re making all the other women look bad.

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.

No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I’m asking for is one from you.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

How was heaven when you left it?

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty

Your lips look so lonely…. Would they like to meet mine?

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!

Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.

I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.

I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.

Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart, and you’ll steal mine.

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

How come you’re not on top of a Christmas tree? I thought that’s where angels belonged.

Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple!

I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.

Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you’re a-Dora-ble!

I don’t know if you’re beautiful, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy

Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you

You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. I’m lost at sea

If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

When God made you, he was showing off.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the whole universe in the palm of my hand.

Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.

Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!

I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.

Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications

You better call Life Alert, 'cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge.

If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

You’re hotter than donut grease.

Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark, you still seem to shine.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.

Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity

I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?! 

Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.

i have so many pickups lines so here u go!! i apologise for these in advance jjddjk -sara

Daddy Duties

Simon Dominic (AOMG) x Y/N (Reader)
Genre: Family / Romance
Count: 2,083
Warning: Fluff
Rating: G
Requested: By @thessamd and also a few other anons who wanted Simon D fluff! Sorry for the long wait! I hope you all enjoy it :)
P.S. I’ve always wanted to call Simon daddy ;) ayeee

Originally posted by yooneroos

“Kisa, come on, baby,” Simon urged as gently as he could in his gravely voice. His one and half year old daughter was currently trying to rip off a leaf on the plant in the lobby of the AOMG building. When she didn’t budge, he took her tiny fingers in his grasp and lead her down the hall, smiling when the front desk girls cooed at her.

His dark eyes trailed after the little tyke when she unlatched herself from his hands to run down the hall and into an open elevator. Her curly hair was tied in two messy pony-tails, obviously done by none other than himself, and bounced just as she did when the door closed behind him. Her Jordans matched his, as well as their coordinated outfits, which was just light denim jeans and black long sleeves since it was nearing fall. She was babbling in her baby language but when the doors slid open, she was sprinting once again.

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Connor Murphy x Waitress!Reader Headcanons

a.n.: some hcs based on the waitress musical and deh bc I love both?? sorry if this is bad… it’s my first headcanon post. imagine it’s like 5-10 years in the future

• ok so connor comes into the diner one day high and hungry af
• u come over to ask what he wants to order
• “idk whatever tastes the best@
• so ofc you get him one of your famous pies
• while ur cutting a slice connor notices that u look really cute in your waitress outfit?? like he’s known you for all of 2 seconds but dang?? ur a cutie
• u come back to the table to give connor his pie and he snaps back into reality
• he notices u have a bit of a baby bump
• u take notice of this and “I’m about 3 months so far”
• “who’s the father?”
• “its a long story and I don’t really want to talk about it”
• awkward silence woWIE
• “can I get you anything else?”
• “no, sorry”
• fUNK connor just screwed up his chances with a really cute girl
• there’s only one way to make this better
• come in every day and try to win your heart ofc
• and that’s just what he does
• it becomes a daily routine, u get Connor a slice of pie and have small talk which turned into actual (and sometimes deep) conversations
• connor tells you his familial problems and you tell him the story of how you got pregnant (cue “The Negative” starting to play)
• dawn and becky totally have a bet going on how long before y’all get together
• as you get further into your pregnancy connor becomes extremely protective
• u have to reach up to get something ?? hahaha nO Connor will get it
• this also led to the accidental kiss incident™ and careless whisper playing on the jukebox oops
• that kiss leads to more kisses??
• you finish making a pie? boom. kiss. you fill up the mustard and ketchup bottles ?? smorch
• u don’t mind at all
• you’re in the middle of taking an order and shIR… your water breaks
• connor: Panic Mode Activate™
• connor makes u drop everything and y’all blast to the hospital
• when you get to your room the doctor rolls in
• “is this the father?” :-)
• you both blush
• before connor can say anything you say yes
• connor is stunned like you want him apart of your child’s life ?? What if he isn’t good enough ?? what if he turns out like his father ??
• you kiss him to reassure him
• “con, anyone would be lucky to have you as a dad”
• what did he ever do to deserve you??
• “ok now I need to get this child out of me because it hurts”
• you had a surprisingly smooth delivery
• connor loves your baby,, they look just like u but in little human form
• what a happy family y’all are
• scute

anonymous asked:

I feel like the brother/father was/is a sort of mini-arc in all the bigger arcs. The question is, does it have a name?

I’m going to put those asks under a tag, but I’m at a loss for a name for it.

Any cutie pie should feel welcome to send me recommendations!

anonymous asked:

Since Talia conquered a nation for Damian in RSoB does this mean Dami is literally a prince now? Like, capital "P" Prince? She even had servants bathe and feed him while there? If so how would rest of BatFam react to finding out this fact from, idk, facial recognition in social media accounts of the locals gushing about their new cutie pie prince

haha I think Jason would use it to get stuff. “Hey Prince Damian, can you somehow get my this hella obscure thing?” 

Dick and Cass just think it’s cute. Cass and Steph make him a paper crown and everything. 

Tim can’t believe his fucking life.

Bruce just questions one day, “So, if your mother is the Queen, I guess, and you’re the Prince…what does that make me?”

“Her concubine, father.”

“………………………..Oh, okay.”

No one’s ever laughed so hard in their life. Even Talia thinks it’s heckin’ HILARIOUS and has him ‘dress as a concubine would’ when he comes with Damian to visit. Lil skimpy skirt and stuff. Jason (who comes as a ~royal guest~ literally pees himself at least twice laughing about it.)

Really terrible pick up lines
  1. If I were writing an essay on your beauty, I wouldn’t need to double-space or increase the margin sizes to satisfy the minimum page requirement.
  2.  Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you’re the bomb! Are you religious? ‘Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.
  3.  Hey, my name is Emily but, you can call me tonight. 
  4. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
  5.  If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
  6. Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice! 
  7. Is your last name Campbell? Cause you’re mm mm good! 
  8. Do you have an eraser? because I can’t get you out of my mind!!!
  9.  Hey, are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out?
  10.  Are you the new school janitor? Because you just swept me off my feet.
  11. Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you. 
  12. Something is wrong with my cell phone…its just that your numbers not in it It’s a good thing that I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
  13.  Can I tie your shoe? Because I can’t have you falling for anyone else. 
  14. Even if there wasn’t any gravity on earth, I would still fall for you! 
  15. Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.
  16.  I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
  17. You better call Life Alert, ‘cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up. 
  18. You’re single, I’m single. Coincidence? I think not!
  19.  Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you? 
  20. Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!
  21.  Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt - my eyes! 
  22. Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  23.  If you were a steak you would be well done.
  24. Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
  25.  If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  26.  Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth! 
  27. Are your parents bakers? Because they sure made you a cutie pie!
  28.  You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent. 
  29. Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend. 
  30. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  31. Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  32.  You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry. 
  33. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout! 
  34. If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
  35.  Do you work at a coffee shop, because I like you a latte!!!!!!!! 
  36. If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
  37.  Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  38. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  39.  I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. 
  40. I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
  41.  Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day. 
  42. Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart. 
  43. The doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U. 
  44. Have you been to the doctor recently, it looks like you need vitamin me
  45. Did you just fart because you blew me away!
  46. homosexuality is a disease… and I’ve caught it from u ;)
  47. If you were a fart, I’d hold you in forever
  48. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Emily.
  49. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in. 
Sunday At The Beach // 2Jae x Reader (Polyamourus Relationship)

Originally posted by demfluffycheeks

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader x Youngjae (Poly Relationship)

Genre: Fluff

Summary; Your two boyfriends take you out for a day of fun at the beach!

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“I’m Pregnant.” | Teen Wolf Preference 

a/n : good shit good shit (also very long lmao)


For the past two weeks, it had been nothing but nonstop vomiting every single morning, continuing until the late afternoon and going beyond irritating. It was awful, and Scott was growing more worried as the days went by and your now daily routine stayed consistent. He had been insisting on taking you to his mom at Beacon Hills Memorial for awhile, but you still refused, even after exactly sixteen days of this torture. 

He held your hair back as you leaned over the toilet, completely emptying your stomach of anything that had been in it previously. When you were finished, you flushed the toilet, turing to face Scott with a grim smile on your face. He wiped sweat off your forehead, a small sigh escaping his lips as he did so. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see my mom? It’s been almost three weeks… what if it’s something serious?” You allowed Scott to pull your hair up into a ponytail, something he was surprisingly good at, before protesting. 

“Scott, honestly, it’s lightening up,” you groaned, placing your hands on his cheeks. “I’ll be fine in a few-” Scott placed a hand over your mouth, causing you to drop your hands as he glanced warily around the room with furrowed eyebrows. “Scott? Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“There’s… I hear… but that’s not possible… unless… holy shit!” He exclaimed suddenly, startling you greatly. He lifted you up off the ground, hugging you tightly and peppering your face with kisses before pulling away with a beam on his face. You didn’t even have a chance to ask what was going on, as Scott was already explaining it. “You’re pregnant! I can hear the baby’s heartbeat! You’re pregnant… holy shit I’m going to be a father, and you’re going to be a mother, and we’re gonna be parents.” 

“I’m pregnant? Oh my god, I’m pregnant.” He nodded happily, reaching out to hug you again. “Are you sure? We- we need to take a test to be sure, right?” Though your tone was bordering on panic, you and Scott were excited, and so damn happy, and he was already calling every single one of your friends to tell them the news. 

S T I L E S - 

For Stiles, he had always known that you were the one. You were the one he was going to marry, the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with and start a family with, the one he loved more than anyone else in the world. And he had married you, and you loved him more than you could even believe sometimes, but the one thing that you both wanted was a baby. In fact, you had been trying for nearly a year now, yet nothing had come out of it just yet. You had been to the doctor, numerous ones, and there was nothing wrong with either of you… it just wasn’t “your time.” You had told Stiles after the last trip that if one more doctor said that to you, you were no longer going to hesitate to slap them. 

So now, here you both were, sitting on your bathroom floor side by side, the pregnancy test sitting on the counter above you. You had set a timer on your phone, and now you were both waiting impatiently and anxiously. Stiles’ hand found yours, squeezing your hand reassuringly. 

“Stiles… what if- what if I’m not…” You trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. If you weren’t pregnant by now, you weren’t sure if you would ever be, and you knew Stiles was thinking the same thing. He licked his lips nervously. 

“I don’t know, sweetheart, but there are alternatives, you know? We- we can adopt, right? That wouldn’t be bad at all. Whatever happens, we’re going to be fine, I promise.” He placed a soft kiss on your temple, just as the sound of your timer blared throughout the small room. You glanced at him worriedly, not moving until he stood up, taking you with him. Neither of you made an effort to grab the stick that was sitting on the counter, until you took a deep breath, turned around and grabbed it, staring at it in your hands and unable to process the information it was displaying for a second. “What? What it does it say?” Stiles asked, his hand trailing up your wrist and turning it over. 

“I’m pregnant,” you breathed, nearly shoving the test in his face. His mouth fell open, brown eyes wide with either fear or excitement or both, and he nearly fainted, but he didn’t. He let out the loudest yell of happiness, a heart-stopping smile lightning up his entire face as he held you tightly in his arms, careful not to put too much pressure on your stomach as he buried his face in your shoulder, breathing deeply. When you pulled away to look at each other, you both were crying a little, tears evident in your eyes. “Oh my god, I’m pregnant.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you are,” Stiles smiled. There was no way that either of you could happier than you were in this moment. 

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anonymous asked:

this blog made me love moxiety in the human-verse, so I was wondering if you have any more thoughts about them? (like how they met, shit they got into growing up, more on how their relationship works, ect) bc im honestly rlly curious!! :D

Boy let me tell you, I have a lot of thoughts.

I have been wanting to write a piece about their relationship in the human verse that I kind of created in my fics, but I have only gotten nsfw requests for them, hah. So, thank you for sending in this ask to get my butt into gear about writing things about them normally!

I haven’t gone into super detail about their lives in the other fics, so you do not need to read them before you read this - they are nsfw, after all. I will tell things I said in them to fill in for people who are uncomfortable with reading nsfw. For those of you that want to read the fics, here are the links:

Beauty, read this one first: Tumblr AO3

My Honeybee, read this one second: Tumblr AO3

I want to answer this in a headcanon style, so, let’s get going!

Pairing: Moxiety! This will just be cutesy backstory and relationship fluff.

  • They met when they were kids. Anxiety was five, Morality was seven. Anxiety’s family moved because his father was a police officer that was moved to a new location.
  • They were next door neighbors. In the area they lived in, it was small, so everyone knew everyone. There weren’t too many kids around the neighborhood, about eight, but Morality was the oldest. The other kids were Anxiety’s age or a year or two younger.
  • Quickly, Anxiety and Morality’s mothers became good friends and their fathers would watch sports together. This lead to them, of course, introducing their sons. Morality was a sweet cutie pie, even as a kid. He was very excited to make a new friend, and he always wanted to either go to Anxiety’s house or have Anxiety come over to his own.
  • Anxiety was antisocial, even as a kid. He was one of those kids that would hide behind his mother’s or father’s legs around people. He hardly wanted to go out and play with the other kids, and though he would act annoyed at first (he has always been such a grumpy person), he actually didn’t mind Morality’s company, if they were alone. He would eventually start hiding behind Morality when around people. It totally went to Morality’s ego.
  • By the time he was twelve and Anxiety was ten, Morality had finally gotten Anxiety to start coming outside to play more often. They would go on walks, play silly games. They wouldn’t really play too many sports, since neither of them are too terribly sporty, but Morality enjoys football. As said above, they didn’t play often, but when they did - they were a force to be reckoned with. Anxiety was a great quarterback and Morality was a great wide-receiver. They work as a team amazingly.
  • Morality was the leader of their child posse, as the oldest, and he had deemed Anxiety his second in command, even if the other kids were jealous.
  • They were good kids. Good kids do some bad things occasionally, such as them wandering into an abandoned nursing home and laughing at the graffiti. They didn’t create any themselves. They would go back there often, just to be alone and goof off, but one time they got yelled at by a homeless man trying to sleep in one of the rooms. He scared them so bad (they were convinced he was a ghost) that they ran out and never returned.
  • Their first kiss was when Morality was sixteen and Anxiety was fourteen. Morality had convinced Anxiety to come to a get-together of Morality’s friends, because Anxiety was first starting high school and he wanted to introduce him to people and help him acclimate. As silly kids do in these situations, someone suggested Spin the Bottle, and Anxiety was apprehensive, but Morality promised it would be okay. Anxiety hadn’t been landed on, but when he had a turn to spin, he landed on Morality. Their kiss was short, sweet, chaste - but it left a blush on both of their cheeks and butterflies in their tummies. Anxiety quit the game after that.
  • Morality is a sweetheart, but if someone was to mess with Anxiety, all hell would break loose. Anxiety has terrible anxiety, and he deals with panic attacks. One of the only people that can calm him easily is Morality. The teachers at their school learned that if Anxiety was to get anxious in class, they would call upon Morality to come calm him down.
  • Anxiety had a pretty intense “emo/scene” phase, if that is what you want to call it. Always listening to “emo” bands, wearing all black, eyeliner. With his anxieties, he hated social interaction and was put on medication for anxiety and depression. Morality was a source of light for him, someone who didn’t make fun of him for his clothing, affinity for makeup, or chemical imbalances in his brain. He made Anxiety smile on his harder days.
  • If someone at school was to say something about Anxiety or bully him, Morality was his bodyguard. Anxiety was Morality’s bodyguard in turn. Morality was a super sweet guy, he was pretty good in gym class, had good grades, was popular. But people get jealous, and they would try to rile him up to make him angry or make him upset. Anxiety would step in to make them back off. If someone was rude to Anxiety, which happened often, Morality’s happy-go-lucky demeanor would darken and he could be scary, making people back off of his best friend.
  • It was very rough for Anxiety when Morality graduated, but Morality went to university close to home, so he would be there to pick Anxiety up from school or take him out for dinner afterwards.
  • Anxiety’s dad was killed on duty during Anxiety’s last year of high school. Morality was there for him, as always. He was there to give him hugs and pick him up whenever he falls.
  • Anxiety discovered his aesthetic sense when he graduated high school. He was a fan of black skinny jeans, oversized jackets/hoodies/sweaters, old band T-shirts. Morality almost fell over when he saw Anxiety dressed in black skinny (should they be that tight?) jeans and an oversized black knit sweater that kept falling over his shoulder, in which he would fix it. He just likes to feel comfortable, and the bigger clothes felt like a warm hug (like a makeshift Morality hug).
  • Anxiety went to the same university as Morality, and they both became so busy that they sort of grew apart. Morality would often call him, but Anxiety could never go out, too swamped with school.
  • When Anxiety turned twenty, Morality was twenty-two. Morality had been pondering over his feelings for Anxiety, because without being around him as often, he has felt sad. He talked to Roman, ever the romantic, and Roman helped him to understand his feelings. He is overprotective of Anxiety, he wants to hug him, he still remembers their first kiss, he hates being away from him - he is in love.
  • He showed up at Anxiety’s dorm with a bouquet of white roses, dressed to the nines. Anxiety opened the door, wearing one of Morality’s university hoodies and sweatpants - he hadn’t expected to see Morality like that. Morality told him about how much he loves him, how he always has, how he always will, and Anxiety didn’t even say yes to going on a date with him, he just cried and pulled Morality into the dorm, telling him to wait while he gets dressed.
  • Morality is about 5′9″ in height, and he has broad shoulders. His eyes are a light brown, he has dimples, his skin is lightly tanned, his hair is a light brown that almost looks blonde-ish. Anxiety is about 5′7″ in height, and he is slimmer and pale. He has darker hair, almost black, but it is still brown. His eyes are a deep green, with gold rings around the irises. Also, sign me up for Anxiety actually wearing eyeliner. If he was human, he wouldn’t just dabble black eyeshadow all under his eyes and cheeks. He would be an expert with the flick of the wrist.
  • Morality is all about PDA. When they start dating, he is all about holding hands with Anxiety, hugging him from behind whenever they are stopped, kissing his cheek, his neck, his forehead, his lips. Anxiety complains about it, but he really likes it. It makes him feel loved, he especially likes it because he loves having all of Morality’s attention.
  • Morality is generally the one that takes Anxiety on dates, but the more they are together, the more comfortable Anxiety is with actually taking Morality out. Anxiety loves Morality and he wants to please him, he wants to be close to him. He starts becoming more comfortable with initiating the PDA with Morality, and Morality is ecstatic.
  • They receive a lot of compliments from family, friends, strangers. They think they are the perfect, adorable couple. They totally are.

This is longer than originally planned, but it was fun to write, so I hope it is fun to read! Feel free to add on your own headcanons, I might come back to build on some cutesy stuff about their relationship.

Fun story?

one time, my father got us 2 hamsters…
a couple (supposed to be…)

we named the female one: “Ruby” she was hyper-active climbing the freaking cage with one hand (i know she’s rad) rolling over the food running, a true ball of fluff love and fire, she was brown with a white round spot around her eye… basically a cutie-pie 

we named the male “lil bitch” (i forgot his name…) he was a dead ass, never moving just sleepin’ in the corner and you’ve got to put foOD exacly in front of him so he can eat it (narcissistic shit) he was all white with red eyes (oww the edge)

we were really happy with them and thought they were the perfect couple in term of balance… 

since dad got them late that day we didn’t play much, so we went sleeping ready to spend tomorrow with them…

the morning, i remembrer waking up a bit early than usual EXCITED to see Ruby!

when i got to the cage ruby was there with lil bitch… or i shall say “IN”, lil bitch was eating her… literally he was eating her face, there was lot of blood and stuff and she was even alive??

i skip the part where i screamed calling for my parents, soon after that Ruby was dead from a murder?? and lil bitch was exiled in a cardboard to the nearest forest (known for her stray dogs) (haha lil bitch!)

and this was the last time we got pets.

Moral of the story: never eat the face of your partner alive, because it’s kinda cannibalisme and also because wHy?