and the egg special

depression tips™
  • shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
  • moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 
  • put on clean, comfortable clothes. 
  • put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
  • drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
  • clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 
  • blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
  • make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 
  • make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
  • go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
  • call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
  • cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.
youtube

An all-new immersive Assassin’s Festival is overtaking the town of Lestallum!

Starting on August 31, 2017 until January 31, 2018, you can partake in this limited time event, featuring gameplay elements from the Assassin’s Creed game series, mini-games, and a chance to obtain exclusive items, such as the “Medjay Assassin’s Robes” for Noctis, Gladiolus, Ignis, and Prompto.

Final Fantasy XV: Assassin’s Festival is available as a free download from the PlayStation Store and Xbox Store!

The “Master Assassin’s Robes” for Noctis can be obtained via the Dream Egg, a special item from the Moogle Chocobo Carnival. The Moogle Chocobo Carnival is going on now and will end in late September, so don’t miss out on this opportunity!

10

“When Akko is assigned the special dragon egg only given to one student every year at Luna Nova, she must endure the hardships of being a mother. However, things doesn’t always go as planned…”

Please do not repost unless permission was granted by the artist!
Back Alley Encounters

“Clock out everyone! I wanna go home!” As soon as the store manager activated the alarm, they all quickly filed out.

Everyone got into their cars and drove away for the night. Unfortunately you had to walk. Being a poor college student with a lousy part time job didn’t allow for luxuries such as a car. The dorms were still almost an hour walk away..

You sighed, heading down your usual route. The city wasn’t so bad at night, as long as you avoided the troubled neighborhoods.

Tonight was pretty humid too. You unbuttoned your sweaty shirt, hanging it over your shoulder. You weren’t exactly as toned as most guys you saw around school, but you weren’t boney either. A little bit of pudge here and there, but at a healthy weight.

What you were always teased about was your soft curves. You couldn’t help having a slightly more rounded rear end.. and consequently wider looking hips..

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you nearly tripped over something. You didn’t get a good look as it suddenly slithered away into the dark alley

“What the hell?!” You jumped back, squinting to get a better look. The street lights were too dim for you to see what it was. With a hesitant step forward you suddenly felt something latch itself around your ankle and yank!

Your head hit the concrete hard and your vision began to fade…

When you finally came to, it took a while for your vision to clear. An occasional car drove by in the distance, but no voices, or trains.. it was late.. you tried rubbing your eyes but your head wouldn’t stop pounding.

As soon as you moved to get up something tightened around your ankle. It was the same think that your tripped over! It was long, rubbery and slimy! You could feel it soaking into your shoe and sock.

“Listen! I don’t want any trouble! You can take my m-mphh!” Something shoved itself straight past your lips and deep down your throat. Your gagged, quickly reaching up to grab at it and yank it out, but it didn’t budge!

Your arms were pulled back and secured around the wrists. “Mmm! Mmpph!” You struggled trying to kick and pull at whatever it was that was restraining you.

Something warm trickled down your throat and soon enough it was gushing out in large amounts, filling your stomach. You felt the affects almost immediately as it seemed to spread inside. Your stomach gurgling as it rounded out a bit more, hips widening and your soft rear end filling in further.

You moaned, not realizing how aroused you were until your pants were suddenly too tight.

More love juices flowed into your stomach. “Uughnn..” your mouth was forced wide open to accommodate the slimy tentacle. You wanted to scream for help or anything but whatever it was feeding you felt so pleasant and warm.. addictive. And definitely arousing.

Just as you thought it couldn’t get worse than this, another tentacle crept it’s way up your belt line. Your pants were now straining against your tented arousal and your firm belly. In a quick swoop, they were down around your ankles, along with your underwear.

You tried kicking and thrashing, not liking where this was going. A few more dark slimy tentacles joined in, some pulling your shirt up enough to tease your hardened nipples.

Another wrapped around your engorged manhood, slowly pumping it.

Your back arched beautifully at the surprise stimulation. You wanted it to keep going but at the same time you wanted to just run! This was insane! It has to be some crazy nightmare!

Your paled when you felt a teasing nudge at your puckered entrance. No! Please no! No there! This was not how you wanted to lose your virginity!

It kept poking and swirling around, almost testing the waters before it just plunged right in!

“MMHHH!” You cried out, feeling the thick intrusion force its way inside. It was so big, stretching you way beyond what you could have ever imagined!

It stayed still inside you, not moving. You whimpered, tears in your eyes. What was it going to do to you? Would it rip you apart from the inside? Or fill you until you explode? So many possibilities went through your mind. You didn’t even notice that the pain was slowly starting to fade.

It was secreting a bit of a numbing fluid for the pain. Your stretched hole clenched and quivered, sucking the tentacle further inside. You saw white as it rubbed against your sweet spot. You needed it to do that again.. Right now.

As if on cue, that same spot was pushed against, over and over. You moaned, hips moving on their own, to meet with every thrust. Your head was too clouded with the aphrodisiacs filling your body. Every little touch brought you closer and closer to orgasm.

But then the thrusting stopped. A larger burst of liquids flooded your insides. Your stomach was even bigger now, so round and tight, looking almost 5 months pregnant!

The tentacle was still, but you felt something moving. Something stretched your opening even further, sliding down the safe passage the tentacle created. It settled into your stomach, feeling much heavier than the liquid. A few more came after it, and you realized what they were.. Eggs! You shook your head, trying to push down to force them out, vbut they just kept coming! Your stomach swelled as more and more eggs settled in your lower abdomen.

You definitely felt heavier as your kept growing and growing, your pecks now small perky breasts.

But somehow this was only turning you on! The feeling of fullness. The warm life inside you.. you cried out, bucking your hips as you climaxed over your monstrous belly.

Once all the eggs were deposited into the safety of their new incubator, the tentacles released you. All but the one still inside. You felt a strange sensation, almost as if it was opening up. It roughly thrust into your walls, spitting out a sticky substance. It spread more of it all along your canal until it was finally back out at your entrance once more. It sealed up your twitching hole, and finally left you peace.

As soon as you found the strength, you pushed your massive self up and ran. Or stumbled..

You were so heavy that even holding your stomach didn’t relieve the pain in your back. You couldn’t see your feet, you couldn’t see the ground past your pregnant belly! You just had to try getting as far away from that thing as possible! Go home and figure this out! If anyone saw you like this they might take you away and experiment on you!

It wasn’t long before you felt something lurch inside you. The incredibly strong urge to push hit you out of nowhere. You could feel the eggs slowly making their way back down to your lower intestines. They were all just piling lower and lower and you needed to get them out!

You hurried off behind a dumpster and squatted, spreading your legs as wide as you could. You pushed and pushed but nothing came out! “Aagh! Get out!” You cried. Why wasn’t anything coming out?!

You reached behind you, hoping that maybe spreading your opening a bit would help. But you were stopped when you felt something hard. It was kind of gooey but your fingers couldn’t push through. What did that thing do to you?! Is this why these things wouldn’t come out?!

You failed to notice the other presence lurking behind you and soon enough you were in the tentacles clutches again.

You groaned and cried as the contractions became more painful. You had to push! “Please! I need them out! Urrgh! It hurts!”

It just held you, spreading your legs wide and leaving you open and exposed. Why was it doing this?! Did it get pleasure out of torturing you?

A new sensation overwhelmed you. Something popped inside you! A small writhing mass wiggled against your walls, moving some eggs around as it traveled closer and closer to your entrance.

You felt more pops and more wriggling tentacles, all fighting to get out. Your stomach lurched as they poked and prodded, trying to find the exit.

“AAAGHH! PLEASE! GET THEM OUT!” Your back arched as the pressure continued to build. You didn’t understand how you could be hard right now! These things were trying to force their way out of your body!

It was then that the larger tentacle started massaging your entrance, or licking at it? You felt something dripping down your ass as suddenly your hole was free again!

But that didn’t ease the pain as the pressure that had built up was getting more intense. The babies squirmed and wiggled their way down your birth canal. Each one different than the last. Some small and some large, stretching your abused hole.

One by one they dropped onto the pavement and slithered away. Your belly slowly deflating as they all burrowed their way out.

By the time the last one dropped, you passed out. Some stayed and gathered around you. Others playing with your entrance almost affectionately. You were their mother, their incubator. You completed their final stage of birth…

You groaned, clutching your head as a powerful migraine took over. The sun was up and it was probably about mid-day. You remembered what happened late last night and scrambled up, expecting to have a pregnant stomach again but.. But you were okay. You looked a bit heavier that was for sure, but at least you looked normal.. you found your shirt and squeezed into it, searching for your pants as well but they wouldn’t fit past your ass!

You ran to the bus stop, hoping you had enough change leftover to get you back home. Whatever happened last night would go to the grave with you.. no one could know. Maybe you’d take a few weeks off from school, quit your dead end job and move back in with your parents for a while.. a flight wouldn’t be cheap, but you’d have to manage somehow.

What you didn’t know was that your babies had spread all throughout the city overnight. Waiting for their next victim to mate and impregnate.

What you didn’t know, was that inside of you, you carried a special egg. One that would hatch soon enough and continue the cycle.

***

Hi! Okay so I love tentacles and eggs! And I saw this request and I wanted to try so here it is! I’m new to writing nsfw so hopefully you like it!

How to make cute moulded eggs

These eggs up the cute in any lunch box!

All you need for these adorable noms are large eggs and egg molds (can be found on eBay, Amazon or speciality bento sites)

First, start with LARGE eggs (small eggs won’t fill the mold, and you’ll end up with half-shapes). Add about 1 tablespoon of salt for each 3 eggs boiled.

This extra salt does not flavor the eggs at all - as the water boils, the salty liquid penetrates the shell through osmosis and provides sort of a cushion of liquid between the egg and the shell. This makes it much easier to peel.

Boil the eggs for about 15-18 minutes. This helps loosen the egg from its shell. The time may vary on your stovetop, so experiment until you find the right combination : )

When the eggs are done boiling, tap them gently on a flat surface to split the shell - be careful not to puncture the egg! If needed, briefly run the egg under cool water, but don’t let the egg become cold. In order to mold properly the egg must still be HOT!

Gently and carefully squeeze the hot egg a little to fit it into the mold better. Don’t go too fast or the egg will crack. The egg is still very pliable when its hot.

After it’s tucked into its mold just right, you can close the lid. If the mold you’re using doesn’t lock closed very well, try using rubber bands to keep it tight.

When the molds are all filled, put them into an ice bath. I put this bowl into the fridge for about a half hour or so.

When you’re ready to take one out, run it under hot water for a second. It helps loosen it from the mold. Open the mold and wiggle the egg a little until it comes out easily.

Ta-Da! A super cute shaped eggs!

Check out this amazing Short-Beaked Echidna skeleton! These spiny anteaters are one of only five surviving members of the monotreme order.

What makes the monotremes special is that they are EGG LAYING MAMMALS!!

The only egg laying mammals left on Earth are four species of echidna and the Duck-Billed Platypus!

This specimen is in the teaching collection of the University of Toronto!

More Ace Dex

Ace Dex combating the casual aphobia that we all deal with at some point.  

“Dude, you’ve never done the nasty?”

Dex rolled his eyes, hard. Whiskey’s tone was just this side of shocked, and it made Dex was to take back the fact that he had said anything at all. It wasn’t exactly that he expected the team to be more understanding than other people, but he hoped that was the case, anyway.

On top of that, Whiskey managed to catch the attention of Ransom and Holster, who were walking past, heads close together.

“Wait, what’s this about someone never smuggling the ol’ bone?”

Ransom gave Holster a critical look, then grinned in that way that only someone on the wrong side of tipsy can. “Playing hide the sausage.”

Holster countered quickly with, “Making the beast with two backs.”

“Assault with a friendly weapon.”

“Entangling the lower beards.”

“Joint sessions of Congress.”

Holster held out a fist. “Bro, pound it out for that one.”

With a solemn nod, Ransom offered tapped his fist to Holster’s. Dex hoped that their (truly awful) back and forth would distract them from what was going on, but instead they plopped onto the couch to join in the conversation. Well, they pushed their way onto the couch, which was already too full, Ransom on one end and Holster in the middle of Nursey and Dex.

Whiskey pointed in Dex’s general direction, and told the captains, “Apparently, Dex has never had sex.”

Holster threw a big arm around Dex’s shoulder and turned toward him. Dex could smell tub juice wafting off of him. “Dex! My dude. My man. Bro. We gotta resolve this.”

“It’s not a problem. There’s nothing to resolve.”

On the other side of Holster, Dex could see his boyfriend’s concerned face. Nursey knew that Dex’s sexuality (well, his asexuality) was still a touchy subject. On the best of days, it was hard for him to have a conversation about. On the days after a game loss and with a group of drunken and less than subtle frat boys, well…. Chances were that it wasn’t going to go well.

“No, but Dex. Dexy. Dex. Sex is so good. Tell ‘im, Rans, tell him about… Shit, what’s a good one for Dex? Crab fishing in the dead sea.”

Dex scrunched up his face. “Dude, that’s fucking gross. And no, whatever fucking euphemism you use, the answer is no.”

On the other side of Holster, Nursey stood up and held a hand out to Dex, and yeah, that sounded like a better idea than having a discussion about life choices with a very drunk Holster. Dex pushed off the couch with a solid fist to Holster’s thigh, maybe a little harder than strictly necessary. He followed Nursey under the caution tape and up the stairs to Chowder’s room.

They spent the rest of the not-kegster (because apparently it could only be a kegster if they won the game) hiding out, watching Brooklyn-99. Dex could feel Nursey sending him concerned looks, but he ignored them. They fell asleep together, cuddling on the thin mattress.

Keep reading

🐰 EASTER SENTENCE STARTERS.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

❛ What are your Easter plans? ❜
❛ You’re never too old to hunt some eggs! ❜
❛ I’m going to Church, mind joining me? ❜
❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter my friend! ❜
❛ I can’t believe it’s supposed to snow on Easter! ❜
❛ We’re coloring some eggs for Easter, want to help? ❜
❛ I’m baking some goods for Easter, mind helping me? ❜
❛ Are you supposed to boil the eggs before coloring them? ❜
❛ Hey! I got a dollar in one of my plastic eggs! ❜
❛ I never really went egg hunting, ever in my whole life. ❜
❛ So, you walk around and find eggs? That’s it? ❜
❛ Are you going to go shopping with me later? ❜
❛ How does this outfit look? I’m going to wear it for Easter. ❜
❛ Who gets drunk on Easter? ❜
Oh, Easter! Another holiday to use as an excuse to drink! ❜
❛ I drink on all holidays, especially Easter. ❜
❛ I’ve got a surprise egg for you! ❜
❛ Help me fill these eggs with candy. ❜
❛ I can’t believe it’s already Easter. ❜
❛ I never really cared much for Easter, or any holiday. ❜
❛ You didn’t come to the Easter festival today? ❜
❛ Isn’t this like for kids more than anyone? ❜
❛ A holiday to play with eggs! Sounds delightful! ❜
❛ I’m taking my child to see the Easter bunny, want to tag along? ❜
❛ I always loved getting my picture taking with the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ This egg is my egg, I’m keeping it. ❜
❛ Please don’t say you’re wearing that? ❜
❛ I made you a Easter basket. ❜
❛ I got you a Easter basket anyway. ❜
❛ Easter candy is my favorite! ❜
❛ Don’t wait up for the Easter Bunny for that one. ❜
❛ Christmas and Easter are probably the two holiest days in the Christian calendar. ❜
❛ I enjoyed watching the Easter Parade. ❜
❛ The shops are closed on Easter. ❜
❛ Are you going to that Easter thing this weekend? ❜
❛ I’m decorating for Easter, want to help out? ❜
❛ Hey, check out this cool Easter banter I’m going to hang later. ❜
❛ I have a chocolate egg just for you. ❜
❛ I love Easter and all the pastel coloring! ❜
❛ Pastel colors are Easter’s aesthetic. ❜
❛ I just love all these pastel colors! ❜
❛ Tell me, what is Easter again? ❜
❛ Ahh, Easter! Another holiday with great candy! ❜
❛ I’m so not ready for Easter yet. ❜
❛ So, doing anything fun for Easter coming up? ❜
❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend! ❜
❛ I always loved Easter as a child! ❜
❛ Easter is like my favorite holiday! ❜
❛ I got you a Easter card, hope you like it. ❜
❛ What should I get my boy/girlfriend for Easter? ❜
❛ I really wanted to get you something for Easter. ❜
❛ We should totally sign up to be in this Easter parade. ❜
❛ They’re handing out free candy because it’s Easter this weekend. ❜
❛ They do have Easter baskets on sale, want to get check them out? ❜
❛ There is nothing in this basket but candy? ❜
❛ I’ve got some extra Easter supplies you can use to make a basket. ❜
❛ Easter is like a arts and crafts holiday. ❜
❛ I’ve never been so excited for Easter before! ❜
❛ Why are you so excited for Easter? ❜
❛ I think this Easter will be better than my last. ❜
❛ It just feels like another day to me. ❜
❛ I can’t believe you don’t want to have some fun! ❜
❛ Did you get the basket I mailed you? ❜
❛ I mailed you gift. ❜
❛ Happy Easter! ❜
❛ I don’t really want to participate in this event. ❜
❛ Aw, you’re such a downer! Cheer up! ❜
❛ I really need your help with sitting this up. ❜
❛ I will never be able to pull this Easter party off. ❜
❛ Hey, it’s a double holiday! My birthday is this Easter! ❜
❛ So, is Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜
❛ I can’t believe you’ve never went egg hunting before. ❜
❛ You have not lived until you’ve hunted for eggs like they were gold. ❜
❛ It’s a Easter costume contest, just do it with me! ❜
❛ Who wears a costume on Easter? Other than the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ Plot twist, I’m the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ What’s a good book to read to kids on Easter? ❜
❛ This is the best way to go about doing it I guess. ❜
❛ I really didn’t Easter was this weekend. ❜
❛ I thought Easter had already passed. ❜
❛ Is there going to be food at this event? ❜
❛ Aw, what a cute picture of you and the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ I’ve got so many baskets to make this year. ❜
❛ I’m going to church with my family, I told you already. ❜
❛ I love this Easter day sale. I’ve been here all day. ❜
❛ All the stores are having a sale for Easter and I’m not missing it. ❜
❛ I just bought so much Easter crap. ❜
❛ I collect Easter eggs, if you were wondering why I have so many. ❜
❛ Okay, we got everything we need, now let’s get to work. ❜
❛ The school is having a Easter thing in the gym, want to go with me? ❜
❛ I never understood Easter. ❜
❛ Does the Easter bunny have a name? ❜
❛ Let’s just go shopping, that’s always helpful. ❜
❛ I really must admit, I didn’t think you could pull this off. ❜
❛ Is that a Easter bunny I see? ❜
❛ Let’s go to the petting zoo for Easter! ❜
❛ I love Easter festivals, they’re so much fun! ❜
❛ Well, for what it’s worth you make the best Easter bunny. ❜
❛ Wow, you work as the Easter bunny at the mall? ❜
❛ I’m dressing up as the Easter bunny this year for all the kids. ❜
❛ I’m just here to take pictures for my scrapbook. ❜
❛ Let’s start a Easter scrapbook! ❜
❛ So, we’re heading out early tomorrow, set your alarm. ❜
❛ Man, coloring eggs is pretty messy. ❜
❛ You should have put newspaper down before. ❜
❛ I got you a pet rabbit for Easter. ❜
❛ What’s a good Easter gift for someone? ❜
❛ Is Easter this weekend? ❜
❛ Ever notice how Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜
❛ I’m ordering pizza for Easter, I don’t care! ❜
❛ Okay, so cute these papers into shapes of eggs or rabbits. ❜
❛ I’m send you a special someone for Easter. ❜
❛ Did you ever get that Easter basket I made for you? ❜
❛ I love making Easter baskets! It’s so much fun! ❜
❛ We’re setting up a Easter theme. ❜
❛ This is a beautiful Easter play idea. We should do it. ❜
❛ Are you auditioning for the Easter play? ❜
❛ The school is having a Easter day play, you want to come? ❜
❛ It’s perfect weather for a Easter Sunday! ❜
❛ Okay, help me hide these eggs for the kiddos. ❜
❛ We have to hide all these eggs. ❜
❛ Fill the rest of those plastic eggs. ❜
❛ The eggs you found you keep. ❜
❛ There is going to be a egg hunting contest later. ❜
❛ Don’t forget to watch for the Easter bunny on TV later. ❜
❛ I’m not that into Easter this year. ❜
❛ How are you not ready for Easter? ❜
❛ Is Easter always chaotic like this? ❜
❛ I’m going to take Easter pictures with my family. ❜
❛ Easter cards are an actual thing? ❜
❛ Wait, so you had no idea it was Easter? There are posters everywhere. ❜
❛ I auditioned to be in the Easter play at school so I could skip going to church with my parents. ❜