Hey.. um.. would you be able to tell me a little bit about the members of the band Gorillaz please?
the basics i can blue haired dude: 2d ((real name Stuart Pot)), lead singer. has black eyes due to two 8-ball fractures that are murdoc’s fault. addicted to painkillers, alcohol and cigarettes. 6'2". mostly leg. wears mom jeans. has 5 illegitimate children but pays child support. has a phobia of whales. a good dude. green dude: murdoc niccals. bassist. asshole. was abusive towards 2d right up to phase 4. spent some time in a mexican prison for not paying in a brothel. is an abuse survivor. made a deal with the devil for his guitar. is a satanist. is regularly seen without most of or all of his clothes. loves his cuban heels though. also an alcoholic. once tried to seduce a camera crew. on camera. black dude: russel hobbs. drummer. eyes are white because he’s haunted//occasionally possessed by the ghost of his best friend del, who was killed in a drive-by shooting, said they were soulmates. mentally ill. had a psychotic break. was briefly 60 feet tall after eating radioactive algae. an anarchist. into taxidermy. a really good person. japanese dude: noodle. a girl. guitarist. joined the band when she was 10 years old after being shipped in a fed ex crate ((she was trained as a super soldier and was sent to england for her own safety)). grew up with the band. wrote the entire second album when she was 13. has ptsd. is currently 26 years old, an actual Fashion Icon ™. can dance. smokes. threw her gameboy at previously mentioned camera crew. is a really great person who deserves better. probably a lesbian.
In order to be my friends, first you must sucefully fill the following form:
"It’s summer of ____, Joe meets _______ and he’s like “Yo, _ ____ ____ _____” and ______’s like “yo, i know ____ _____ _____”. “That’s __________. do you wanna _____ a ____?”. And _______’s like “…yeah… that’s cool.” And then he’s like “__, this is a ____ _____ it's not a _____ store!”. And then they met at Patrick’s _____. And Patrick’s wearing ______ ___ _____ ___ _ ___. Patrick is playin’ drums for some _______ _____! and ____’s there, for some reason! They start _______ _____ together. And they’re like ”oh let’s play some _______ _____ from some other bands!” It was like, _____ ___ and _______ _______ and fuckin’ _______! Pete said to ___ “Yo, we gotta ______ ____ ____ up! Yo we’ve played all these bands let’s ____ ____ from ____ ___ ___.” And so Pete and _______ are like “yo, that’s ____. But we need a fuckin’ _______!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums ___ ____ _ ______! and he’s like “Yo! I got a ____ _____!” and they’re like “Wait, how do you have a ____ _____!?!” and he’s like “__ watch this! yEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!” and they’re like “oh my god! that sounds ____ ____!” so they put it in the ____ and it was like “WHERE __ ____ ___ TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!” and then they’re like “Yo, this is _______ _______. This is ____ Out ___.” And they made records like, _______ ___ with your __-__________. It's called _______ ___ with your ex __________, everybody _____ it. It’s called ______ out your girlfriend, and its real and it _______ ______. And Pete talked to ______ and ___ and he was like “Yo what the _______! yo this is gonna be fuckin’ ________!” So they made a record, and it was called ____ ____ __ ____ ______. They made it _______ a drummer! And they had like three, four _______ come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… ____ ______, Neil Peart, the dude from ____… the fourth one was like the guy from ____ _____ or something. And they were like, “yo, we need ___ ______. ___ ______. Take This to Your ____. fuckin record it.” and he did it, and he ______ __. He was like, bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! _______ the skins! Tapping the _____! Tapping the ____! _______ ___ ____! Killing these _______! Wrapping it out! “We should get signed, to ______ __ _____. Cuz these guys know ____ ___ ____ __ going on.” And they were like “Yo, if you can make our _____ any ______ than it is, which is not fuckin ____, we will sign you guys.” Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ ____ ____!! It’s called, Take This to Your Grave.” Hey, its gonna be called ____ _____ ___ ____ ____, it's gonna be fuckin ____. And then Patrick’s like “I gotta ____ __ ____, i gotta ____ __ ________. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… this is called _____ __ __ ____, __ ______ _________, and _____ ____ _____ ____...” And they made this record that was _______ ____ and it fucking hit on the _____. Like one, two, three! _____ ___ ___! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! ___ __ ___! From Under the Cork Tree sold like ____ _______ records! Ten million records! fifteen million records!!! And _______ ____ had nothing to do with the entire record. And _______ was like “that’s gooooooooood!” Pete was like “yo, ____ ___! I can do whatever i want!” Joe was like “yeah its cool man, _______… I don’t ____ a shit.” And then ____ was like “eh… cool!” and Pete was like “______ is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy ____ ________. Which a lot of times, a ___ is not ________. And I _____ ______ that. I wanna make sure _________ ______ that guys are beautiful.” Pete was like “Oh my god I’m so embarrassed about this ____ ____!” And then i saw the ____ ___ and I was like “Eh, its not ___. It’s not a bad dick. let’s be ____.” Panic! at the Disco made _______ _____ one issue ______ ____ Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue _____ ____ Panic! and they were so pissed! They were like “yo fuck you guys!” they were like “YO! Panic! has the _____ of _______ _____!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking _____ _____! We’re gonna hit every fucking _________ there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they ______ _ _____ of time, _________. They were like “Oh shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually ___ __. Dude, Pete was like “WHAT THE FUCK!” Oh you didn’t _______ ____ the continent. It’s like fuck you! so ____ _____ ___ ____ ____ happens, we fuckin have three, ____ _____ __ ___________! Like people are cumming on themselves ____ __ ___! So Fall Out Boy was like, so _______’s like “Yo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from ________ __ ____.” ___ was like “Yo, _____ _ ____ means, the ________ of two.” Fall Out Boy was like “yo, we gotta ____ _ _____” Meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break ___” and Patrick’s like, “_ ____ ____ ___ __ ______! YAAAAAAHHHH!” and ___’s like “yo, i need time to ____ ___ ______ ___ dude i gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” and Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with ____ _______ _____ _____.” And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like _____ _____ ____. Two years long. Three years long. _____ ___ _ ____. We gotta fuckin’ come back dude. We gotta ____ ____ STRONG! We gotta make this ____ _____. It’s gonna be fuckin ____. It’s gonna go fuckin ___ ____. We’re gonna make a fuckin record that _____ ___ _____. We’re gonna call this record… ____ ____ ___ ____.” So they made _____ _______, _____ __ up, alone together, _______. And everyone’s like “What the fuck? you’re working with ____ ___ who fuckin recorded ____ _______ and pink!” Pete was like “__, were gonna end up in tour with _____ __ ___ _____ and ______ ___ ______.” And that’s all. And that’s all ____ ______. And that’s how the ______ ____ goes."
The banging starts at three in the afternoon. Hermann looks up, a momentary flash of panic that this is it, they have found him as he is about to be dragged back-
But then it comes again, heavy and dull and throbbing through the structure of the house and no, it is not the hoards of hell come for him. He just has a neighbour who is a bloody arsehole.
Hermann gets up, hobbles up the stairs to the flat above, hammers on the door.
It takes a moment whoever it is making that godawful din to notice. The hammering pauses, Hermann bangs harder.
Finally, there’s a click and Hermann steps back, scowling. The idiot on the other side is dressed in a torn band t-shirt held together by safety pins, incredibly tight black jeans and a pair of sunglasses. Sunglasses. Indoors.
Hermann crosses his arms cross his chest, tries to force his tail still, it’s threatening to pull free and lash in irritation. “I have just moved in downstairs.”
“Oh,” The man hesitates. “Okay, sorry about the noise.”
“Yes.” Hermann says darkly.
“But, dude, it’s like the middle of the afternoon.” He shrugs. “I don’t do it past eight.”
“I work from home.” Hermann frowns. A little taken aback.
“Okay, but- this is my job.” The man crosses his arms, frowning behind his absurd glasses. I’m a drummer dude, I gotta practice.”
“At home?” Hermann snarls, what is going on?
This- should not be happening. Everyone else has been- pliable. He cannot get away from what he is and everyone just all too happy to agree to anything he wants, and feel entitled to any part of his body in return.
This man is just scowling at him, unmoving, unmoved. Hermann takes a breath, then- he swore he’d never do this again, he swore, but he has to know. “I think,” his voice drops, a low, sweet growl, “You will find you can practice all you want somewhere else.”
The wave of allure shimmer like a heat mirage around them, but the man doesn’t even flinch. He just continues to scowl at Hermann- no, not at Hermann, just over his left shoulder.
This man cannot see him.
“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He shakes his head. “I live here too. I’m playing until eight, you don’t like it, buy earplugs or something.”
The door slams. Hermann stares at it for a moment. Then he goes down and checked the doorbell name. Newt Geiszler.
He has a neighbour who is not affected by him. He has a neighbour who will treat him like a person. Hermann’s isn’t sure how to feel about it.
Particularly when the drumming starts again, thick and heavy and pounding.
“Ditto. I love the absolute fuck out of ya. Come here.” He snuggles you closer. He hums Sinatra into your hair to help you fall asleep.
You woke up to calm silence, something that didn’t happen often on Christmas. You see Brendon asleep next to you, and you were quite possibly the only one awake. You climb out of bed, waking Brendon.
Groggily, he says, “Hey, babe.” You smile.
“Merry Christmas, Brendon.” He shoots up.
“It’s Christmas?” He asks.
“Mmhm, babe. Come on, get up.”
This was your fourth Christmas together, and it did sound weird when you thought about it, four years and he still hadn’t met your parents? Your parents loved Brendon from what you saw, you thought that they had made a good relationship in the last twenty-four hours. He got up, following you, as you walked out and he sat on your old couch. This couch had been through it all, every sick day, every laugh attack, everything. You sat down on him, cuddling into his chest. You pulled the soft blue blanket over the two of you and you didn’t say much, just cuddled for a while. Your mom walked out of her room, seeing the two of you, and grabbed your dad. The both of them said their respective good mornings and sat down on the couch. You started to hand out presents, and you kept all of yours in the tan chair, just like you always did as a kid. There’s this small tiny one, smaller than, let’s say a rubik’s cube, and it’s very compelling.
“Go ahead, open everything up, Y/N, we will after you.” Your mother says.
You politely turn the offer around, “No, you can go first, I’m alright with going after.”
She accepts and opens her presents. A necklace, a record player from the 60’s and a few records, Frank Sinatra, Buddy Holly, all her favorites. You and Brendon gave the record player and the records, she always loved the sound much better than anything else, even better than a live show. Once she was done, you opened your presents, a Squier from Dad, he knew how much you loved them, a bracelet from Mom, that has “Fly me to the moon, then I’ll be able to show you how much I love you.” hand stamped in metal, and you had two presents from Brendon, the smaller-than-a-rubik’s-cube one, and the thin one.
“Brendon… you didn’t” You couldn’t stop smiling as you opened the thin one. It was a print out of a house. There was no way.
“I did.” He says, and he can’t stop smiling.
“Oh, but I didn’t get you a house!” You punch him in the arm softly. Your eyes are watering.
“That’s perfectly fine with me. What you got me is completely enough.” You had gotten him a new drum set and a set of guitars, a bass, an acoustic, and an electric.
“It sure doesn’t feel like it.” You laugh, and he does too.
“Open that one.” He points to the rubik’s cube sized one. You do exactly that, seeing it’s a fuzzy box. You open it. It’s a ring.
“Do you wanna marry me?” Brendon asks you, obviously nervous.
You’re crying and you can’t even tell.
“Of course, Brendon, of course!”
He sighed. “Thank god, I thought you might have said no.”
“How could I?” You smile, not even noticing your parents filming.
“Brendon… a house and this? How did you?”
“I just did. I love you, Y/N.”
At breakfast, you had cinnamon pull apart bread, and then you had today only to go around your hometown, basking in all of it’s gloried strip malls and the city, with all its skyscrapers and art. You had stopped at Homer’s for some ice cream and a burger for lunch, then went ice skating at the ice rink. You were driving downtown to get to the world’s best view, Navy Pier. You truly loved Brendon. You were wearing a dress, and it was Brendon’s favorite. Red, with a black lace top half. You were driving, you knew this town, so much better. He placed his hand on your upper thigh, needing you. You look at him, at the stoplight.
“Would you rather get a hotel room instead of going to Navy Pier?”
You take the next left and do a legal u-turn, or what you call a Michigan Left, which is so much smarter than everybody says, and you get to the Hyatt. You park your car, the tiny ass clown car you have a love hate relationship with, and run into the hotel.
“Excuse me, do you have any open rooms we could take for the night?”
Brendon’s starting already, kissing your neck.
You palm him, through his nice jeans, to get him to stop. He does, wanting more.
“I like being engaged to you.” You look at him, and kiss him.
“We’ve got room 404 open, rate’s gonna be 90 bucks, or we have a penthouse open for 245 a night.”
You opened your mouth to take room 404, but Brendon interjects, squeezing your ass.
“We’ll take the penthouse, thank you.” He hands the man his credit card.
“No, babe. My treat.” He kisses you on your forehead.
You smile. The man behind the counter gives Brendon his card back, and explains how to use the key to get into the room. He explained the food service, and everything else. He was holding onto you like he would die if he wasn’t.
Once the guy finished talking, Brendon took you by the hand and led you down the hall, going up to the elevator. Once the bell dinged, you walked into an empty elevator. 35 floors, it had said.
“Brendon, you didn’t have to get the penthouse.”
“I wanted to get it for you, doll.”
“Or the house. Really, I’m very grateful, but you didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to get you everything, Y/N. You deserve it. You need somewhere to go after living on a bus for six months, that is not my apartment or yours in Chicago. I couldn’t bear not seeing you everyday.” He whispered that last part into your hair.
“Oh god, I love you, I love you.” You half whispered half spoke.
“I love you so much, Y/N. You’re the only one I love, the only one I’ll ever love.”
“I love you, Daddy.” Into princess mode you go. You giggle.
He pounds his lips into yours.
“God, princess. I love this dress. But, it must come off.”
He spins you around, unzipping the dress, and letting fall to the ground, pushing you against the door. He rubs you through your underwear, it being soaked.
“Who made you this wet, doll?”
“You did, Daddy.”
He takes his other hand and unclasps your bra. You always were impressed that he could do it with one hand, you couldn’t even do that.
He takes one of your breasts into his mouth and bites lightly on your nipple.
“Kitten, that’s not what you’re supposed to call me. Do you need a punishment?”
“Y-yes.” You continue kissing him, loving every bit of him.
“You’re going to have marks all over you proving that you’re mine, y/n.”
He unties his tie sets it aside, like he was going to need it later. He sits on the bed, patting his lap, waiting for you to come over. “You’ve been a bad little kitten, you need to be punished. Ass up.” He says, and you obey, laying on his lap, stomach down, and your ass is indeed up. He smacks it hard. “Count.”
He smacks a second time, lighter.
“Two.” You say, voice hoarse.
The next was hard.
You could feel his hard-on through his pants, and it needed attention.
He lifts you off of him, unbuttoning his pants, and pulling them down with his boxers. He grabs your hair, pulling you to him. You flip your Y/H/C hair to one side, and you suck him off, going completely down. He throws his head back, and he’s moaning your name.
“I-I’m gonna cum.” he says from above you.
You keep going, feeling him twitch in your mouth, and a sharp stop of his breath. “Y/N!” He yells, spilling inside of your mouth. You swallow, and he picks you up, putting you onto the bed. He rips your panties off and his head disappears between your legs. He’s licking your clit perfectly in rhythm. Fucking drummers, dude. You’re moaning his name louder than ever. He slips a few fingers in you, trying to get you to come. You moan your way through your orgasm, He marks your body everywhere, loving the shit out of you. He pulls you closer to him, and he puts his hands on your hips to keep you from moving.
“You alright, Doll?” He asks.
“Mmhm.” You nod, clutching the sheets, waiting for Brendon to just fuck you already.
He keeps kissing you everywhere, making marks anywhere he desires.
“Brendon can you just fuck me?”
He stops kissing and looks up at you, confused. You were never that pushy.
“Huh? Yeah, babe.” It took him a sec to calm down.
He thrusts into you and waits for you to adjust. You do, and he continues, whispering sweet nothings into the atmosphere you two are lucky enough to share. His thrusts get sloppier as you moan louder. “Oh my god, y/n!” He yells in complete ecstasy, finishing, his hands gripping your hips so hard. He stops, slowly and pulls out, You try to stand up. You do not stand up.
“Brendon I love the shit out of you,” you laugh, “You fucked me so hard I can’t stand up.” He comes over to you, helping you get under the covers. You smile, waiting for him to get in bed too, so you can snuggle into him and sleep.
“Merry Christmas, Brendon. Love you so so much.”
“Ditto. I love the absolute fuck out of ya. Come here.” He snuggles you closer. He hums Sinatra into your hair to help you fall asleep.
Getting Out The Campzone: The Bachelorette Season Premiere Recap
Sweet. Sour. Sassy. Classy.
That’s our girl, Rachel.
Rachel is more beautiful than Cinderella. She smells like pine needles and has a face like sunshine.
The journey for Rachel to find a mate is officially underway and even though these men were hand-picked for her, she will still need to weed through the losers to find the love of her life.
And there are losers galore: a ticklemonster, a Whaboom! guy, an aspiring drummer and a dude named Jamey who hates women.
Some of these aforementioned were among the lucky few to get their own video packages.
-Kenny is a father to his beautiful 10-year-old daughter by day, and a professional wrestler called the “prettyboy pitbull” by night. So essentially, he barks, he bites and he’s good at cuddling.
-Jack Stone is a lawyer from Texas who has the potential to be the world’s most boring speaker right behind Ben Stein. His mother passed away from cancer when he was in high school, so he has a tragic story. The best part about him is that he has a labradoodle.
-Alex is a self-described beefy nerd. He says he likes to hit the weights at the gym but also code on the computer. He grilled some kebobs with his Russian mother, who said in Russian that he is only allowed to kiss Rachel on the cheek.
-Mohit is a startup guy, so I am assuming he must be really good at ping pong. He likes to bollywood dance with his family, and they all seemed like a fun family to be around.
-Lucas, aka Whaboom! I respect his dedication to the brand, but he’s going to have an aneurysm shaking his head that aggressively one day, and I don’t want to witness it on my television screen.
-Blake says he’s a personal trainer but his bio says drummer boy, so I already can’t trust him. Blake claims that since working out increases his testosterone, he is great at sex. I’m sorry but I don’t care about his (probably small) penis.
-Diggy is a nickname this man (I don’t know his real name) received after someone complimented his style. “Hey, I like your digs,” they said. Some may say having 500 pairs of shoes is materialistic, but Carrie Bradshaw would say it’s a lifestyle.
-Josiah probably had the most heartbreaking story. At age seven he cut his dead brother down from the rope he used to hang himself. As a troubled youth, he decided to get into crime and was arrested at age 12 for burglary. He was inspired by the people who helped him turn his life around, so he became just like them. Now he is a prosecuting attorney at the same center that helped him. How can that story not warm up your heart?
The Squad Gets Back Together
Usually the show brings in former Bachelorettes to give advice to the new one. Instead, they brought in some of Rachel’s friends from The Bachelor like Whitney, who tried to convince us that she actually knows how to speak. I for one am not buyin’ it.
The robot pretending to be Whitney said she heard the second guy Rachel met on After The Final Rose has bad intentions. It was either Blake or Greg. I am unsure.
This is Raven adorably getting emotional when discussing Rachel’s journey to find love.
Imagine Rachel did get to meet the former Bachelorettes, though? Her, Andi and Kaitlyn could all go into a corner and talk shit about Nick Viall. I would love to be a fly on that wall.
I am going to discuss ones that deserve discussing. Obviously the first person out the limo is typically a big interest of the lead and that person usually (not always) plays a big part in the season. Let’s meet first-out-the-limo guy and everyone else worth talking about:
Peter, aka “Daddy,” was first out the limo. I normally wouldn’t like a guy wearing an outfit that belongs on a waiter in Las Vegas, but Peter can wear anything. I just want to thank him for existing.
He looks like a movie star from the 1940s. Is this love at first sight?
Bryan went up to Rachel and started speaking Spanish. Apparently he’s a Columbian guy who called himself “trouble.” I’m into it, and apparently so is Rachel.
Will came out the limo as Steve Urkel, slipped on the ground and said “Oh, did I do that?” He ran back into the limo and came back out as Stefan Urquelle. It was probably the most creative limo entrance ever. Rachel got the reference right away because she’s Rachel. Will is probably already in love.
Fred had the most hilarious entrance I’ve ever seen. Rachel was his camp counselor 15 years ago, so he brought out a yearbook and showed old pictures of him and Rachel. Rachel said Fred was a bad kid growing up. Most people get friendzoned at some point in their lives. Some even get sexzoned. Fred, however, got campzoned. What will it take to get Fred out of the camp zone? Stay tuned…
Jonathan, in typical ticklemonster fashion, tickled Rachel. Apparently he is a doctor in real life. I feel like tickling someone is some sort of violation. Like I said earlier, we will see this guy on the sex offender registry in due time.
Alex came in with a vacuum and I literally JUST understood his reference as I am typing it out. His entrance was an homage to Rachel dancing while vacuuming in her video package on The Bachelor. Well played, sir, well played.
Matt wore a penguin outfit and was quite adorable. He explained that penguins mate for life, which is what he says he wants to do. He said he’s gonna “waddle right into her heart.”
Mohit used the most basic best man wedding speech in existence as his opening line. If you didn’t work at a wedding hall for three years and haven’t heard this at basically every wedding ever, let me explain. Almost every best man at a wedding has the groom put his hand over his wife’s hand. He then says “This is the last time you will ever have the upper hand in the relationship. Enjoy it.” Negative 10 points for originality.
Lucas, the Whaboom! guy, was all sorts of extra. First he rolled down the window with a megaphone and did his best Bruce Buffer impression. I didn’t want to know that Lucas has one testicle bigger than the other, but now I do. What will I do with this source of information? Suppress it, probably. Lucas then shows us what Whaboom! really means, and it’s not pretty. Let’s just say there’s a reason why Lucas looks like he is recovering from a stoke. Whabooming! is a violent activity.
My reaction after witnessing what a Whaboom! is.
The Goings On In The Mansion
Some worthwhile observations…
Blake is clearly this season’s villain and Whaboom! guy is the token weirdo for the first few episodes. Blake’s presence already annoys me. He’s no Chad. Chad was at least funny.
Mohit took one for the team and was the one who got completely hammered on night one. He was so drunk that he grabbed someone else’s drink out of their hand and started drinking it.
Josiah, Alex and DeMario have already developed a friendship. I hereby name them the “Goon Squad” for being a bunch of clowns. DeMario keept calling Rachel his future wife and Josiah was announcing that he probably will get the first impression rose. I believe at one point Josiah asked, “Who has had time with my wife?” Alex is just guilty by association.
Fred by far had the best interaction with Rachel:
Rachel: “Frederick. I can’t”
Fred: “Yeah, you can.”
Rachel says she knew Fred as a third grader and can’t get past that memory. If the guy is hot enough, I think she could do it. If she can’t get past it, that probably means she’s not interested and Fred will remain forever in the Campzone.
Bryan pulled Rachel to the side to have a private talk. Right out the bat, Bryan tells her he is 37 years old, wants something serious and doesn’t want to waste her time. Oh, he also says “I’m good with my hands.” Ya know, because he’s a chiropractor.
Just showing some appreciation for Bryan’s face.
The two were flirting back and forth. It felt really genuine like they met at a bar or something. Bryan just went for it and grabbed her face to give her an aggressive face readjustment. A+ for grabbing her face like that. You go, Glen Coco.
Peter said in an ITM that he likes Rachel because they both have a gap in their teeth and honestly that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. He brought chocolate from Wisconsin for her and she confessed that she didn’t like chocolate but said she would eat it anyway. Why? Because Peter is fine as hell so you gotta do what you gotta do.
I also observed that Kenny is hilarious. For example, this line: “If she chooses Whaboom! guy, we need to re-examine what we think is fly.”
When the time comes for Rachel to give out her first impression rose, she doesn’t give it to the over-confident Josiah, she gives it to Bryan. They kiss again with a hammered Mohit accidentally witnessing the entire thing.
Here’s a shot of them kissing that didn’t look like Bryan’s tongue was searching for the Chamber of Secrets down Rachel’s throat.
Good thing Mohit was blackout drunk so he was likely physically incapable of snitching. Too bad Bryan later snitches on himself on the Ellen date.
The first rose is always super important. That person usually plays a big part in the season.
Peter got the first rose. This, on top of him being first out of the limo, is pretty big. Producers are pushing Peter on us hard.
Will aka Stefan got the second rose. Soft-spoken Jack Stone got the third. I think Anthony, the deep-thinking bald guy, got the fourth rose.
Producers picked Whaboom! guy to stay to 1. entertain us and 2. piss off Blake. I’m just scared Lucas is going to hurt his neck Whabooming! At least Bryan will be there to work his chiropractor magic if need be. Imagine getting adjusted by Bryan? There is no way I’d be able to relax.
By the time several of the guys get eliminated, it’s daylight outside. It looks like it’s around noon.
Blake K. the hot asian went home. Apparently he asked to leave early because his grandfather is sick. Dammit, ABC, put him on Paradise. He might be too good for the show, but I still need to see more of him.
Grant, the ugly Dan Humphrey also went home.
Follow me on twitter, @thebachdiaries
Another eliminated guy cried about how he spent so much money on outfits and now no one will be able to see them. It was kind of funny but, I hate that I was able to relate to this so much.
So there you have it folks. The real fun starts on Monday once the group dates are underway. I also promise the upcoming recaps won’t be the length of a short novel. I need to get back into my blogging groove.
In bullet form for readability/it’s 1AM and I have work in the morning because I’m an adult.
I got there like 45 minutes after doors opened because my days of lining up mega early for shows are over.
That’s a lie
I just had to work til 5 and it was raining all day so I didn’t wanna sit outside anyway
So I walk into the venue, and??? It’s so empty??? Like what the fuck??? I went to the bathroom, which is wayyyyyyy at the back and in the basement, I hate getting to it during packed shows because you CAN’T MOVE. That venue is not safe and there are not enough exits BUT ANYWAY.
When I got back upstairs I went to the merch table and bought a tank top
Warning if you see Dreamcar: it fits weirdly small???
But I love it
Also they didn’t do that thing I hate when bands jack up prices by like $10 because of the conversion rate.
It’s $35 online and I paid $35CAD.
Joke’s on you that’s only like $20US
Help our dollar is a fucking joke
Then I went to the stage and despite the opening band staring imminently I was only two people from the front???
I mean, I don’t know if I would go seeking out their music but they were really fun and had fantastic energy. The lead singer kept making eye contact with people in the front and it was slightly awkward but also endearing as hell. I kept getting distracted during their set because I decided most of the rest of the band looked like other people
The keyboard player looked so much like Jamison Covington from JamisonParker
Does anyone remember them? They had like one album in maybe 2005 and I loved it
But it’s so emo
Listening to it now is like??? Was my world ever that dark? Damn son.
The drummer looks just like a dude I went to high school with and played in Concert Band with
But it is not.
That dude is a DJ now though
The percussionist lowkey reminded me of what’s his face from Cabin in the Woods… the stoner one.
Cabin in the Woods is a great movie
I mean is it any surprise that they’re great live? All of them have been performing for so long so like… they know their shit. But there’s a lot happening all at once, it seems like. You’ll maybe see when I post my video of All Of The Dead Girls once it finishes uploading to YouTube. But I guess it’s partly because Tom, Adrian & Tony are so used to playing together but sometimes it’s like there’s their show happening and then there’s Davey being Davey around them and it is a lot.
Someone yelled “You’re good!” between songs and it got a good laugh out of Davey who was like, “I’m glad you think so???”
Like what an odd thing to say???
The other three have mastered the art of keeping Davey on topic
If he sounds like he’s about to go off on a tangent just start the next song it’s great
“If only that would work during interviews,” I’m sure Jade/Adam/Hunter is muttering to himself in the distance
They covered Don’t Change and it was amazing, I wanted to get a video of it but it was such a different (more upbeat) version I didn’t even clue in on time lmao
During the bridge of Kill For Candy, Davey and I shared a moment during the first “Let it dissolve on your tongue” and it was magical
It rained literally the entire day here, so when I walked out of the venue and it wasn’t raining anymore I thought, y’know what, I’m gonna stick around for a bit, try my luck meeting these dudes. But only until 11:00. That’s my cut-off. I’m a responsible adult.
This is a lie
It’s cute that I believed it though
Also it was still raining but it was a very fine mist so it wasn’t that bad
This is also a lie it was terrible and my hair went to shit
There were like 25 people waiting, at the peak of it. After about an hour, some people had left so there were maybe 20 or so. Not bad at all, right? About half of those were No Doubt faithful, who seemed to be a very tight-knit group who all knew each other from various No Doubt events and trips and stuff. They were super nice and – bonus! – most of them couldn’t be fucked about Davey. But we did talk about the show, how awesome it was, and the fact that Davey is secretly jacked was mentioned – not even by me!!! And most of them agreed that a) it should’ve been a longer set and b) they should’ve covered some No Doubt because Davey singing I’m Just A Girl would be delightful.
Somebody made the joke that the guys snuck out past all of us and were probably on the public transit bus that went by
“But then they’ll get to Sherbourne station and get shanked.”
If you know Toronto at all you know that’s probably true
If there was anywhere in this city where a repeat of “what are you gonna do about it, pink shoes?” was gonna go down it’s motherfucking Sherbourne St.
Finally at around 11:15 or so, security & tour management came out and set up a barricade by the bus, telling us all to line up in twos. Ok cool. We did.
Tom came out first and the orderly line went to shit because he just like, walked right out to chat and take pictures and sign autographs. I was trying to stay near the barricade and missed him entirely. Oops.
Tony came out next and did the same thing, but actually on my side. I got a picture with him and he signed my ticket.
Adrian stayed by the barricade but was very chatty with people. I also got a picture and autograph from him.
All of them seemed to like, know some of the No Doubt die hards who were there and I think that’s so cool, they’ve always seemed like this huge, untouchable band to me but they’re so cool with their fans
All three of them got on the bus, and because of the No Doubt fans stepping back I was pretty much at the barricade. The tour manager came back and asked who we were still waiting for so of course were like, obviously Davey. So then came the new instructions:
Single file lineup please (I ended up third, so cool)
This is 900% ok I’ve seen my pictures with Adrian & Tony I know what I look like
I’ve been standing in the rain for two hours I look like I live in garbage and a family of raccoons have been living in my hair for the winter
No hugs either
Also fine because who honestly wants to hug a bunch of damp strangers???
Just a chat, an autograph, and keep the line moving
Awesome, we’re grown ups, we can do this
Oh shit now I have to think of something to say
So then Davey appears in that long hoodie/cloak… thing… which I SHOULD have asked where he got it because I love it but obviously I think of things to say after the fact, so whatever. He was really chatty and smiling at everyone and it was so nice. The first two conversations happened as I was trying not to awkwardly stare at Davey. I’m not gonna be the one who makes it weird.
This is also a lie
I don’t think I made it weird though
When it was my turn, he asked how I was and I said “amazing” because I was, and the teenage version of me fainted then and there, she was not at all prepared for this moment.
I might’ve rattled off something about how his music, whether AFI or Blaqk Audio or Dreamcar or any other project, has been such a big part of my life for almost half my life now, so thank you and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it
I don’t think that was weird
It was true, too
“Thank you, I hope that’s a good thing.”
So I said it’s absolutely a good thing, thanked him again, and mentioned I would see him in like 3 weeks (!!!) for some AFI shows.
‘Cause y’know. He’ll remember.
And then I walked back to the subway and went home, 18-year-old me screaming internally.
tl;dr I saw Dreamcar, they were amazing, I finally met Davey Havok after 15 years.