Back from my trip to Rome! I felt very angelic almost the entire time in the Basilica. (The sense of scale in Saint Peter’s is amazing, the black letters are 6’ tall and the pictures just can’t capture that.)
My queue runs for another week, but I’ll be mixing in pictures of various churches and the Mediterranean.
I’m not one to do these long, rambled things, usually, as I like to lay low and just do my own things without drawing much attention to myself or what have you… But I’ve had quite a few moments over the past couple of days where I’ve just been sitting in silence and thinking. I’m just so amazed at how quickly I went from a “lonely nobody” with very few friends (whom I cherish with my entire life still, if any see this just know I love you so much!) to gaining a handful of great, new friends in a span of 2-3 months. Some artists, some not; but they’re all so great and so valid, and I care about them so much already. This all just absolutely blows me away… because I know that I’m new to this whole artist/art scene and community. Not necessarily My Little Pony, or anything, but rather Tumblr and the Tumblr circle of likened artists (Adge, Apri, Pasu, etc). And I know I’m new to a lot of the things they’re affiliated with in terms of headcanons, AUs, Next Gens, stories, etc; and each other. Although I’d LOVE to catch up and feel a part of everything with that, be included and help with some things, as well as contribute with my own things, and I’m certain I can at some point; I always feel like I’m just being a nuisance and trying way too hard to fit in to be included. That’s just my anxiety and everything though (hopefully). Everyone is so nice to me, and I question how I came to be so deserving but I’d never take it for granted. In fact, I absolutely appreciate it with my entirety. So thank you all for your patience for putting up with me and my awkwardness. Try as I might, I know I’m not up to speed or as close as you all are to each other. Maybe one day! I can only keep trying. But seriously thank you for allow me the opportunity to call you my friends, and to be where I am right now. it’s absolutely incredible to think this is all happening. <3 As for my art, and lack of confidence; I really know I’m not a great artist, not even a good one. Not yet. I want to be, and maybe one day I can be! I’m still trying and doing my best regardless. I also know I have a lot to learn in art obviously. I’m fully aware that I need a lot of improvement. And I am trying! I’m just a little smol who’s still learning and practicing art, slowly. I should try harder but I often feel immensely discouraged about my current skill level and style (since I do not have a natural knack for drawing among other things)…which sadly leads to unnecessarily long bouts of procrastination and periods of not drawing anything. I want to get better at that, because it only makes myself feel worse that I haven’t drawn anything or that I’m not taking the steps I need to improve. I have a horrible habit of comparing myself to others, too. Hopefully that’ll change. Though… huge shout-out to everyone who encourages me to continue, and tells me that I’m getting better despite it all. Gretchen, Adge, Rob, Kathleen, Sal, and any I’m missing. You know who you are. Thank you. You’re all amazing.
This has turned into a huge, random rant of unnecessary rambling that’s all over the place and inconsistent. I am so, so, so sorry! Please ignore this! Just had a lot on the mind and felt like getting it out there for my own sake and sanity. I really hope everyone has an amazing morning/day/evening/night. I love you all very much, and you deserve nothing but the best. Smile! ~Umbra
taehyung had never been the type of person to make it on time in the morning. that’s why he had set his alarm fifteen minutes earlier than he would normally(not to include the next three to follow because he oversleeps a lot lets be honest.) the only sane reason taehyung would ever give up his extra fifteen minutes of sleep is to buy pancakes from his favorite diner. as a seventeen year old boy, working part time jobs and making not as much money as he should, obviously he’s going to blow thirteen thousand won worth of eight pancakes in one sitting.
taehyung also had gotten ready amazingly fast this morning. he styled his light brown hair to feather over his forehead and accessorized his uniform with rings all over his body. he managed to actually catch a bus too rather than walking three blocks and by the time he sits near a window in the small diner and is served his pancakes he has twenty minutes left until school begins. he’s only eaten four of the eight pancakes and lets be real, he’s not going to finish the rest. the bell chimes above the hunter green door frame and a familiar face walks in, mr.min.
mr.min was the geometry teacher and assistant basketball coach at taehyung’s high school. he was incredibly smart and many of the girls fawned over him considering his rough age of twenty-five. he had jet black hair that was always tousled and big brown frames for glasses. taehyung had only had him for one class his first year of high school, when he was a pubescent young boy and looked unbearably ridiculous. so much that he probably seems to be unrecognizable now. the teacher orders something quick and sits at a table beside of taehyung. he picks up a newspaper that had been lying around and taps his fingers against hard wooden table.
taehyung gives himself a mental pep talk before he’s able to stand from the wooden chair he had been sitting in and approaches the teacher.
“hi mr.min.” taehyung greets him with a boxy smile and a quick bow.
“hello.. are you one of my students?” mr. min asks warily, unsure of who he even is. just as taehyung had figured.
“i’m not sure if you remember me..” taehyung awkwardly laughs, “i was in your class three years ago during your first year at our school…”
mr.min’s eyes almost bulge out of his socket, no way this was kim taehyung. he remembers him by the unique mole placed on his nose that gave him that charm. kim taehyung three years ago had a justin bieber fringe, wore thick black glasses, and was seven inches shorter. this kim taehyung wore his school uniform to fit his body nicely, was taller than himself now, looked like he had the softest light brown hair and at least six ear piercings.
but all that he replied with was “ah, yes of course. kim taehyung am i right?”
“yes! that would be me. i really ordered too many pancakes this morning and it would be a shame for them to go to waste. i saw that you haven’t ordered any food so would you mind?” taehyung pleaded, eyelashes uncontrollably fluttering and head turned afraid to look at the teacher.
mr.min sat there stunned, left hand gripping his iced americano and right hand fidgeting with his glasses. “i couldn’t possibly take your food, taehyung.”
“please, i really cannot let it go to waste. there’s only one of me and i can’t finish the rest.” taehyung motioned over to his plate, which clearly had uneaten pancakes. taehyung sat down in the chair facing from mr.min and looked at the table, pretending to admire the wooden details.
“only one or two then, i really shouldn’t be eating pancakes in the first place.” mr min said with a soft sigh. taehyung looked up, mouth gaping and hurriedly rushing to grab the food and sit with mr min.
yoongi manages to eat two pancakes before he checks his watch and sees that there’s ten minutes until school begins and he’s very late. taehyung has been very quietly observing the elder, subtly admiring the fingers that wrap around the fork. yoongi has to peel his eyes away from his former student as the younger looks at him with big eyes as if he’s been caught.
“i’m sorry taehyung but i have to be on my way now. thanks for sharing your meal with me today. have a good day.” mr.min grabs his bag and leaves the tip on the table.
taehyung and mr min say a brief goodbye and taehyung as well heads off to their school. neither can stop the moments that just previously happened from replaying in their mind. taehyung calls his friend baekhyun before entering the gate like he always does. he goes straight to his locker as the phone continues to ring before baekhyun has finally answered.
“y-es? ngh stop.” baekhyun says out of breath.
“uh, you realize we have three minutes until the bell rings right?” taehyung says a bit worried for his friend.
“oh fuck. fuu-ck. hurry up oh my fu-” baekhyun is still on the phone fucking around with his girl, or whatever label they have.
taehyung hangs up and rolls his eyes. it’s 7:58 when he walks into his classroom and the next six classes go by like a dream. taehyung is amazingly well at school and excels in many of his core classes. he’s never gotten below a B+ on any assignment and honestly, he doesn’t really study. he just enjoys learning and takes good notes in class.
baekhyun is only in two of the seven classes he has during the day(and honestly that’s enough because baekhyun is the worst distraction)and taehyung keeps his schedule heavily packed. he wakes up usually at seven in the morning and will walk to school considering he lives a couple blocks away, goes to his classes, piano practice is after school, sometimes a movie or a game he’ll go watch with baekhyun, goes to work at the animal shelter until nine thirty, then goes back to his home. hints to why he loves those extra minutes of sleep in the morning.
as taehyung is approaching the music room after the last bell, he can hear someone playing piano already. there’s not very many that stay after school for piano, instead they hire their own tutors and pay. the white door is already slightly open and the white and black keys of claire de lune are being played by none other than mr.min himself.
taehyung falters for a moment and gathers his courage to say the words “mr min?”
mr. min halts from playing the piano and stands from the bench to be polite. “sorry i didn’t realize it was already that time. the old piano teacher is very ill right now so i volunteered to take her position for now.” mr min removes his glasses to gently wipe the lenses on his white button up and taehyung has his breath caught in his lungs from staring at the bony, long fingers.
“oh, do you know what happened to her?” he shakily replies.
“afraid not, no information is to be disclosed with us teachers.” mr. min gives a sad smile towards the younger and begins walking to the window to unlatch it and raises it. their conversation isn’t heated but the temperature in the room feels like a sauna.
taehyung watches him curiously, his mind full of unanswered questions but all he can manage out is an “oh.” he sits on the leathered bench and wanders his eyes over the keys.
“play for me” mr. min tells taehyung, finally standing beside the piano.
“what?” taehyung asks, taken aback.
mr. min blushes at this moment as he realizes how blunt he has said that, “i mean let me listen to what you’re up to so i know where to start. i’m assuming you’ve taken lessons for years now.”
“just three but yeah, i’ll play something.”
thin, tanned fingers move across the white keys trying to find a spot to start and they contrast with each other amazingly. taehyung finally decides on something simple, ‘a thousand years’
“you’re really good taehyung.” yoongi praises the younger who’s ending the song.
“i’m not that good.” taehyung hesitates before saying,“ besides, your playing is so mesmerizing, i’ve never felt something like that just by listening to claire de lune.” he turns around from the piano to look up and see that mr.min is still behind him.
he looks at taehyung directly in the eyes and asks “felt something like what?”
taehyung blushes because the feelings were referring to mr min. a teacher and not to mention a guy. mr.min has noticed that taehyung blushes a lot and he’s kind of thinking it the most adorable thing he’s seen.
“just like if i hadn’t spoken up i would’ve become immersed/entranced by your playing.”
“that’s not a bad thing taehyung. i was thinking we could do hour long practices if you want to continue lessons.” mr.min says, going back to his business voice. he really doesn’t want to scare taehyung away or make him uncomfortable.
“i would love that but i just got a job at the animal shelter and they work me usually from 5-9:30 on school days. my house isn’t close so i have to take the bus.” taehyung says with a frown, he wants to be taught by mr. min.
“i’m not sure if this would make you uncomfortable or not but my house is just around the corner from the shelter and i have a piano. if you would want, after school we could drive there and you wouldn’t have to worry about being late for work.” mr. min says scratching lightly at the back of his neck, he doesn’t know if it’s fabric or just his nervousness causing triggers as if he was fifteen again.
taehyung’s face glows at the idea although the blush in his cheeks is still faintly there. “really?? that sounds great! you’re not mad at me?” the younger one mutters the latter consciously.
“no of course not, i remember being a teenager. after all it was only 5 years ago.” he says trying to shake the feeling he’s getting.
he’s just invited his student over to his home, but it’s not inappropriate. no, they’re practicing piano and making agreements that will work into their schedule. taehyung knows mr. min didn’t have to make that arrangement if he didn’t want to, but he wanted to know more and see more of the kim taehyung he subtly ignored his first year.
taehyung just silently agrees in his head. yes it was only five years ago. but five minutes later he has witnessed the greatest thing to come to him that day. while playing the piano he vaguely forgot a key and mr. min had taken his hand to guide taehyung’s long index finger to B. the sensation of a fire igniting and electricity bubbling corrupted his entire body and he will not ever shake that feeling. neither of them can, no matter how wrong it should be.
i know we’re all up in arms about the fyre festival, but as we speak, a hacker going by the name of The Dark Lord has secured season 5 of Orange is the New Black and is now blackmailing Netflix for “a modest ransom” and quite frankly i have never heard anything more hilarious in my life, like honestly, what is this day????
“Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it… it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that… the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you. Just please… please, don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves.”