getting together with relatives who dont really know you for thanksgiving is so scary bc theyll bombard you with questions about future plans and if you have a boyfriend and judge for your uni choices and tell you how different youve become since you last saw them :/
First of all, no one knows why Tony Stark wanted to be a lawyer. He was literally the absolute worst at law. He didn’t try at all, but he passed the bar, so he was a lawyer. You didn’t hire him unless you were absolutely hopeless because Tony liked challenges. He liked not being bored out of his skull. He’s been on jury duty approximately twice and only one of those times did he try to jump out the window. (Rhodey stopped him that time, that significant bastard.)
His mortal enemy was Steve Rogers. Do-gooder lawyer who probably said things like “good golly” or “oh my goodness” on the regular. Disgusting. Steve Rogers was stubborn, but more importantly, he had stupidly organized speeches that could sway audiences. Ugh.
They were enemies. Both were assholes. But they kept getting hired because they were the only two lawyers in New York that could get one hundred percent of the people on jury duty to show up early. So there’s that.
“Ladies, gents, others of the jury,” Tony starts out, “let me start out by saying this looks really, really bad.”
“Hey!” His client said. Tony shoots him a look. “It doesn’t look that bad.”
“Dude, you kind of seem like you robbed a jewelry store. It’s looking real bad.” His client crosses his arms.
“At least we agree on something,” Steve Rogers says. “If this man’s own lawyer says that it looks bad, how do we trust him?”
“You trust me because I wasn’t finished yet,” Tony snarks back. “So, as I was saying, it looks bad. But just because something looks bad doesn’t mean it is bad. For example, Steve Rogers’ fashion choices look bad. He wears khakis about ten hours a day. I bet he has pajama pants that look like khakis. But is he a bad guy? No. Same with this guy I’m defending.”
“You know I have a name, right?” The client says. “It’s John!”
“How boring,” Tony says. “But, now I leave Steve to do this thing. Knock ‘em dead.”
“Thank you,” Steve says. “Now, my client was robbed of not just jewelry…” Tony rolls his eyes as the jury laughs. Looks like he’s winning this round.
Except for the fact that Steve won’t stop doing good one-liners. “Ugh, that’s not even the point I’m trying to make, sweetheart,” Tony says. The whole ‘sweetheart’ thing is meant sarcastically so it means absolutely nothing, okay? “I’m saying that there’s no way my client could stash the jewelry literally anywhere except the store or his pockets. They searched him, he came clean. They found something at his house, but that was his own necklace.”
“If I”m being fair, I did steal that one, like, fifteen years ago,” John offers.
“You are so not helping your case,” Tony says. “Shut up.” John goes silent.
“And you aren’t communicating with me,” Steve says.
“Oh for the love of god,” The judge, Maria, snaps. “We’re not here to settle a couples dispute. We’re here to see if John here stole something. Get to the point.” Tony and Steve both freeze, looking at each other.
John ends up going free because Tony won the crowd over with his facts and one-liners and his comedic timing.
“Good job, Tony,” Steve says. “I think they made the right decision.”
“You sound like they use you in school promotional ads about not doing drugs,” Tony says with a snort. “But thank you, Steve.”
“Oh fuck you,” Steve says with a grin. “I do not.”
“Eh, grow a beard,” Tony says. no don’t that steve you’re gonna be like an attractive mountain-man. Steve just laughs.
“I’ll get you next time in court,” he says.
“Good luck,” Tony says. “You’re gonna need it.” Steve laughs again, walking into his car and settling down in the driver’s seat.
“Oh shit,” he cursed. Looks like he actually has a crush on the rival lawyer.
i can’t stop thinking about a tweet that said
“character relearning how to be/staying kind and gentle despite trauma that would encourage them to be violent and angry,
will fight anyone who says that a character remaining soft after trauma is Bad Writing
if i kill myself its gonna be with sleeping pills but before i do that im gonna buy a FUCK ton of big fucking bass boosters. like gigantic speaker thingies you know what i mean. and then im gonna let the german naruto opening play on repeat while im dying its gonna be so fucking lit
So this is the first time I’ve ever looked at something I’ve drawn and gone, “is it just me or does that actually look like a face?!” lol
I still need a lot of work but so far this is the best I’ve ever been able to do. I’m still utter shite at mouths, and with proportions it’s like a fucking gamble but… baby steps and small victories lol.
in 2018 can we stop the idea that idols are only good rappers after they’ve dropped a generic track dissing the haters and going off about how badass they are bc there’s more to rapping than just aggression and anger and don’t get me started on how anti-black it is to believe a genre black people created is only worth listening to if there’s anger behind the words
Hey everybody, this is Griffin McElroy, your dungeon master, DM, best friend, friend, very good friend, lover?, life colleague, best buddy in the whole wide world, good good buddy, main man, dad, that guy who sat behind you in gym class, confidant, Harvey Fierstein, benevolent anonymous benefactor, long lost uncle, yoga instructor, bosom buddy, dirty little secret, partner in crime, dog…whisperer, personal trainer, fungeon master, worst enemy, guardian angel, personal trainer, personal chef, local handyman, onion blaster, weatherman, part time Spanish tutor, second hand news, other thing, sleepy time boy, local sheriff, personal chef, sommelier, ice skating trainer, a real human being and a real hero, big dog - big dog on campus, clock, just your best friend, not alone guy, trusted source for all the latest Hollywood gossip, secret santa, number one fan, oatmeal eater, local hvac repair person, number one 100% gamer boy, midnight boy, finale boy, tardy boy, your very grateful and very relieved cohost of the Adventure Zone podcast. Thank you for listening.
Flame Atronachs are a species of Daedra that prefer ranged magic to physical combat.
Flame Atronachs are the weakest and most common atronachs encountered. Constructed entirely of fire, Flame Atronachs resemble humanoid females wearing black metal armor. They possess horns, pointed ears, three fingers, and two toes.