and thats basically him

I was once friends with this guy called Juliham and he looked like a piece of salami that had sunbathed for the past three days in the desert, real greasy and round and his girlfriend, the greatest homophobe and racist of all time, looked like shreks mistress and we got in an argument

and i called her a racist and he went with the “but she had a bf who was black” and i was just “lmao thats cringy” and the moment i called him cringy he basically went

and then he blocked me hahahah

3

#yoiweek2017 | Day 7: Shall We Skate?
Alternative Universe

anonymous asked:

long haired yurio.

there he is!

Jack at his panel:
  • jack: sorry i can't get off the stage, its against the rules
  • a person apart of the community: *cries*
  • a person apart of the community: *is really nervous*
  • a person apart of the community: *really wants a hug*
  • a person apart of the community: *and/or just really loves him for all he's done for us and is really overwhelmed*
  • a person apart of the community: *exists*
  • jack:
  • jack:
  • jack:
  • jack: ...
  • jack: FUCK THAT
  • jack: *jumps down to hug the person*
Friendly reminder that

It’s not okay for partners to hit each other!!! Just because one of them is a girl does not mean she can hit or slap her boyfriend!!! Arguments and anger do not justify violence!! I’ve seen relationships depicted like this in fanfiction, books, tv shows, and movies and it’s not okay. Gender does not matter. You. Do. Not. Hit. Your. Partner.

4

                                        the almost kiss and 
                                                    the almost “i love you”

8

[]

6

Bonus:

2

The night was windless, the snow drifting straight down out of a cold black sky, yet the leaves of the heart tree were rustling his name. “Theon,” they seemed to whisper, “Theon.”

The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. “Please.” He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. “I was ironborn. A son … a son of Pyke, of the islands.”

(requested by anonymous)

8

Sweet summer child Yugyeom’s struggles during girlfriend-related missions

3

TALES OF ORCHESTRA JAY
[SCREAM] 

2

Okay, on one hand the idea that Nathaniel doesn’t go off to the Free Marches until he’s 22 is a good thing because it lets me write my original idea for the Seb/Nate fic. Nate’s just there for a family holiday and his and Seb’s thing is a bit of holiday fun. 

One the other hand that means I have to go along with the idea that Nathaniel wasn’t sent off to squire for Ser Rodolphe Verley until he was twenty-two years old??? Really? Rendon Howe neglected training his son ‘in the arts of war’ until he was 22? Nathaniel was running around after Ser Rodolphe in a pack of squires who were all like 6-8 years younger than him?

Like jfc, I think sending Nathaniel, the eldest son and expected heir, off at the age of 22 to be a squire to a knight who’s a fixture at the Court of a nearby Kingdom would probably be a very public humiliation? He can’t do anything with this grown man so he’s going to effectively strip Nathaniel of his adult status? And not just to Nathaniel, but to Rendon as well because this is an admission of his failure.

I know Rendon Howe is a bastard, but there’s nothing in the game or WoT that indicates his relationship with Nathaniel was that bad. In fact, he seems to have been a decent enough father, even if he was an utter turd in most other respects. At the very least, he’d be savvy enough in a political sense not to open himself to criticism on that front. 

On this matter, I elect to flush canon down the shitter. Nathaniel was 15 when he began to squire for Ser Rodolphe. It tanks my original idea but I can’t adopt the ridiculous to preserve that. 

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Then, after about six hours, we start to get a little punchy. That’s when I start busting out my impressions.

Hold Her- Andre Burakovsky

Originally posted by thornescratch

Ok so hockey players with kids is my downfall. Like seriously. Grown macho men who beat on each other turn into piles of goo. It’s the BEST! Anyway! ANDRE IS BACK PEEPS! I’m so happy! So today was a good day for double Andre! Hope you guys like this one as much as I do!

Warning: None

Anon Request: andre with children is the greatest thing in the world omg and you write it so well!!! could you maybe write one where andre and his gf just had their first baby and they bring him to a practice bc all the guys want to see him? idk thats a pretty basic prompt so you can do whatever you want w it but basically andre with his newborn would be adorable if youre ok with writing even more andre haha

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              “You should bring her to practice. I’m sure the other guys would love to see her” Tom said, holding the baby close to his chest. You smiled at the sight. Ever since you gave birth, Tom was always at your apartment to spend time with the baby.

Keep reading

so i saw a post reacting to my rant and it basically said i was saying Sans is an awful person, and shit like that, and ugh that kinda gave me a super bad taste in my mouth, because??? no?? i never said that.

anyway, so here’s another rant on ~Sans~

also, if the person who posted that (you probably know who you are?) see this, i’m in no way calling you out, or angry with you! your feelings are totally valid, and tone is kinda hard to read over text, so, yanno.

(also i’m not linking to their post, bc i don’t want them to get any kind of asks about it. like. no thanks sir.)

ANYWAY LET’S TALK ABOUT SANS, AND HOW, EVEN THOUGH HE IS A JERK, HE IS NOT AN AWFUL PERSON, IN ANY FUCKING WAY!!!

so first of, Sans is a flawed character. he’s not perfect, heck, he has a lot more flaws than he has good qualities. (which is very relatable, tbh. like, same Sans. same.)

Sans is lazy; like, this has nothing what so ever to do with his depression, though it most definitely hasn’t helped. Sans is just, in general, a lazy ass person, which, again. #relatable

as we all know, Sans won’t fight you, unless you kill literally everything you can get your hands on. like, that is not something an unlazy-person would do, i’m sorry.

he spends pretty much the whole game asleep; he doesn’t help Frisk in any way, shape, or form, even though he promised Toriel he would. like, you can’t argue with this. Sans doesn’t do anything, and that’s fine?? i love this shitty ass goblin who sleeps constantly, and makes jokes at your expense. it’s a mirror to Papyrus intense desire to help, and it’s really neat characterization.

from what we can gather, Sans rarely does anything- Papyrus has to poke and prod and drag him into stuff, and sure, Sans says that he isn’t lazy, that “it’s the farthest thing from the truth,” but here’s where action speaks a lot louder than words, and damn it Sans, you’re kind of self-centered.

(which Papyrus is too.)

also, because @uselessundertalefacts​ just pointed it out: yes, we know Sans does stuff. read bedtime stories, has that telescope, a lot of things, actually. but: we only hear about them. and, look, here’s the thing: if you like something, you’re more likely to do it.

Sans likes going to Grillby. he likes reading bedtime stories for Papyrus, he likes playing pranks, and look. i’m lazy. i’m so god damn lazy, but i still do those kind of lowkey stuff i like to do. yes, it’s something he does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that he’s lazy.

like, if it doesn’t take too much energy, it’s fine. going to Grillby’s is literally just a teleport away. Papyrus is the center of his universe, so yes, he’s going to do anything and everything for him.

look, some of the reason he doesn’t do a lot is his depression. but some of it, is because he is lazy. and that’s not a bad thing? like, it’s just a character trait.

and okay, passing on from that thread, because we can defo talk a lot about that, let’s just. go onto something else, namely: Sans, and his behavior towards Papyrus.

(also, a little segment i had to delete, but i feel still has a good point: it’s implied that Sans is working on the machine. yes, i agree that he probably have something to do with it, but it’s kind of a forgotten project, wouldn’t you say? it’s covered up, pushed into a corner, and that’s.. not really the sign of someone working day and night on it.)

anyway: Sans and Papyrus.

Sans loves Papyrus. like, this is a fact, it’s so god damn obvious and in your face, there is no disagreeing on this.

but. but.

just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re doing what’s best for them.

it’s not something you’re aware of. not really. sure, you know you do it- you know that maybe, it’s not the best idea ever, but you don’t get it, because you’re not that person.

Sans lies to Papyrus. Sans lies a lot to Papyrus, and that’s hurting Papyrus. it hurts Papyrus when Sans lies about shit, and that’s not something we can argue about.

Papryus isn’t a kid.

but! just because Sans is hurting Papyrus, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person.

Sans is lying to Papyrus because he’s trying to protect him. it’s dumb, yes, but Sans just wants to keep Papyrus happy, and that’s… not a dumb thing.

Sans loves Papyrus so much. Papyrus is literally his whole world, and yeah, maybe that’s not such a good thing, but that’s how it is. that doesn’t make Sans an awful person.

hell, that doesn’t even make Sans a burden on Papyrus. he’s just a bit self-centered, a bit too caught up in himself. Papyrus loves Sans too, remember, and that doesn’t go away just because Sans has a bad habit of lying.

hell, none of this has anything to do with his depression. it’s all because of his own character flaws: Sans is, at heart, a tiny bit too easily caught up in himself, which is understandable. you have to put yourself first, always, because you have to take care of yourself first.

in fact, some of it does lie on Papyrus- he should tell Sans, instead of just accepting it with a smile. but Papyrus is just as afraid of burdening Sans, as Sans is afraid of burdening Papyrus, and yeah, they’re kind of both dumb that way.

so yes, Sans is kind of a jerk, but he’s not an awful person, and i feel like i suddenly have to stress that. maybe because i rant so much about Sans, pretty much always negative, but that’s because there’s so many issues in how people see him.

canon!Sans is a good person. he’s a bit of a jerk, yeah, but he’s still a good person, and i don’t know why anyone would ever think otherwise.