and that's why if you're not watching this show you should be

Things Said In My Household but with Fairy Tail Pt.7
  • <p> <b></b> *Natsu's Birthday When he was younger** Its morning*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLUMBAG.<p/><b>Gray:</b> *tackles Natsu in his sleep* WAKE UPPP<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *appears from underneath the covers and smacks Natsu* WAKEY WAKEY.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *wakes up and slaps Gajeel* WHAT.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> YOU SON OF A GUN.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *blindfolded* Gray, why do i have to be blindfolded?<p/><b>Gray:</b> Because you are trying to pin the tail on the donkey.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> but the pin could hurt the donkey. I might trip and get hurt.<p/><b>Gray:</b> Stop being such a baby<p/><b>Wendy:</b> I am a baby. Im 6.<p/><b>Gray:</b> Just do it.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *pouts and walks the opposite direction of the board*<p/><b>Gray:</b> Wendy you are going the w--*sees her heading towards Gajeel* You're doing great.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *pats Gajeels butt* I think i found it ..*pins*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> Wha--*yelps in pain*<p/><b>Gray:</b> *on the ground laughing*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> AHAHAHA.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *still blindfolded* did i do it?<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b>Everyone:</b> Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Natsu! Happy birthday to you!<p/><b>Cobra:</b> *comes in with the cake* I have the ca-- *trips and the cake lands on Natsu*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> ...<p/><b>Natsu:</b> CAKE FIGHT! *throws cake at Erza*<p/><b>Erza:</b> You PUNK! *throws it back*<p/><b>Laxus:</b> wth**gets hit with cake*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> FOR SPARTA.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *is hiding underneath the table eating cake* im suppose to be the child here.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Natsu:</b> im doing it..*scrolling through playlist*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> natsu pls..<p/><b>Gray:</b> DO IT.<p/><b></b> *plays harlem shake*<p/><b>Cobra:</b> *bursts in "dancing"*<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b></b> *walking into school*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> If anyone has trouble with Wendy you have trouble with ME.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> YEAH DONT MESS WITH HER<p/><b>Gray:</b> all you heartbreakers back the fuck off.<p/><b>Erza:</b> guys wendy doesnt even go here.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Cobra:</b> Man it's so quiet..so peaceful<p/><b>Cobra:</b> ...<p/><b>Cobra:</b> HOLY SHIT WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU 5 IDIOTS.<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b></b> *And this is the story of how Natsu met Lucy*<p/><b></b> *School Fair*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> DUDE LOOK. *points to a pig pen*<p/><b>Gray:</b> I DARE YOU TO GO IN AND JOIN YOUR FAMILY NATSU.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> Wow, shady. And No fucking way--*sees Lucy staring his way*<p/><b>Lucy:</b> hey you two<p/><b>Gajeel&Gray:</b> Hey Lucy<p/><b>Natsu:</b> whaa...<p/><b>Lucy:</b> Is this your brother?<p/><b>Gray:</b> Yup he's the idiot<p/><b>Natsu:</b> HEY!<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> We just dared natsu to go into the pig pen<p/><b>Lucy:</b> there's no way he's gonna do it<p/><b>Natsu:</b> ill do it.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *jumps into pig pen* Easy there piggy<p/><b>Pig:</b> *looks pissed off*<p/><b>Gray:</b> uh natsu..i think you should..<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *starts getting chased by pig*W-OAH . HELLLPPPP ME! *runs around but trips straight into the mud*<p/><b>Gajeel&Gray:</b> *burst out laughing*<p/><b>Lucy:</b> *giggles at Natsu*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *cheeky smile* I guess it was worth it .<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> One<p/><b>Wendy:</b> two<p/><b>Wendy:</b> three<p/><b>Wendy:</b> ten! ready or not here i come<p/><b></b> __<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *singing Bad by Michael Jackson* Well they say the sky's the limit!<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> *slides into the room with sunglasses on* And to me that's really true!<p/><b>Gray:</b> *appears with a hat* But my friend you have seen nothin'!<p/><b>Cobra:</b> *appears from behind couch* Just wait 'til I get through!<p/><b>Everyone:</b> Because I'm bad, I'm bad come on!!!<p/><b>Cobra:</b> You know I'm bad, I'm bad come on, you know!!<p/><b>Natsu:</b> And the whole world has to<p/><b></b> Answer right now!!<p/><b>Gray:</b> Just to tell you once again!!<p/><b>Erza:</b> *appears from behind everyone and strikes a pose* Who's bad?<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b></b> *doorbell*<p/><b>Gray:</b> I GOT ITT-- *opens it* HEY-- oh? Hi?<p/><b>Romeo:</b> Uh..h-hi.. is wendy home?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *appears out of nowhere* yes, why u ask?<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> Hey who's at the do--*sees romeo* ..hmm.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> Guys leave romeo alone. *pulls him in* Dont mind them, they're stupid.<p/><b>Romeo:</b> Oh. O-okay!<p/><b>Gray:</b> *glare*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *soft growl*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> *cracking knuckles*<p/><b>Romeo:</b> *gulps* ^__;;;;;;;;;<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Mira:</b> *helping make turkey*<p/><b></b> *stuffs hand inside the you know what*<p/><b></b> Ahahaha, look, Im Turkey Woman *pretends to shoot with the turkey* Pew pew pew!<p/><b>Laxus:</b> *facepalm*<p/><b>Erza:</b> Turkey Woman sounds great and all, but you can never surpass, *shows hands covered in Mash potato* MASH WOMAN<p/><b>Cobra:</b> what the hell are you two doing<p/><b>Erza:</b> making turkey with a side of fuck off.<p/><b>Mira:</b> Actually it's potato.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>:</b> D<p/><b></b> Pt 8 if you want?<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> Here are a Few Words from my brothers!!<p/><b>Natsu:</b> Hey<p/><b>Gray:</b> that's just one word.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> IT COUNTS.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> honestly i thought we would scare everyone away especially how our family is.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> ^^<p/><b>Gray:</b> Who could resist someone like me?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> everyone in the universe that's who.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> How do we end this?<p/><b>Gray:</b> do we just say bye?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> AHA. SEE YA SUCKERS.<p/><b>Gray:</b> natsu i dont think that's how you--<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> Peace.<p/><b>Gray:</b> seriously is no one gonna--<p/><b>Erza:</b> what are you idiots doing with wendy's phone<p/><b>Gray:</b> Bye!!<p/><b></b> ____<p/><b>:</b> o i got my phone back.<p/><b></b> Here is a sneak peek at the first chapter of "If My House Were Fairy Tail."<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> It was the morning of a day I clearly don’t remember and have no intentions of trying to remember.<p/><b></b> This day marked the day that my family and I started to question my dear brother’s sexuality. And here is why.<p/><b></b> “Gray, STOP EATING ALL THE FUCKING POPTARTS.” Natsu yelled from downstairs. Wendy was awoken from her sleep by all the ruckus, which honestly wasnt a surprise to her at this point.<p/><b></b> She forced herself up and began to walk down the stairs. Unfortunetly, someone had left his trousers in the middle of the way. Wendy of course didn't see it coming. Poor Wendy, if anyone had been watching her, they would think for even the slightest second that she was flying.<p/></p>
who u should fight rvb freelancer version
  • York: York’s a great guy who could also probably like, rip you in half but tbh I feel like he’s that guy in the group who makes endless puns and dick jokes so, hey, punch him and then run away, lock a door behind you, and you’ll be fine. Fight York.
  • Carolina: I mean. I don’t know what show you’ve been watching, I really don’t. Jesus Horatio Christ on a popsicle don’t fight Carolina.
  • Washington: Wash has had the shittiest life ever. Of all time. Do not fight Wash give Wash chocolate and love.
  • South Dakota: True, South will rip you to tiny bitty little shreds, okay yeah but she got North killed and Theta lost and just... if you can fight South pls go for it
  • North Dakota: Why would you fight him. Why. North wants to give you a blanket and a cup of tea and talk about Grifball with you why would you fight him? Also if you did fight him he'd shoot you from three miles away. You're not nearly good enough to even get near him to actually fight him so don't bother. Don't fight North.
  • Texas: IF YOU FUCK WITH TEX YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEES FOR SURE
  • Maine: If you want death, then yes, fight Maine. But don't actually. Either he'd punch you once and you'd explode or he'd pick you up by the scruff of your neck and place you on a really high shelf or something. Don't fight Maine.
  • Connecticut: CONNIE IS A GOOD HUMAN BEING WHO'S TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING DON'T FUCKING FIGHT CT
  • Wyoming: Please rip his mustache off. Fight Wyoming.
  • Florida: That's like the worst idea ever ok look Florida is a chill honestly nice dude who will slather you with compliments and mean them but you will not last 0.0002 seconds in a fight with him. Nah he isn't on the leaderboard but that's probably cos he's like, way too cool for that shit okay don't fight Florida. Let Florida hug you.
  • Iowa: why would you do that that's like fighting Caboose except a Caboose who's never killed anyone okay it's like fighting Caboose's more innocent twin if that's possible DON'T FIGHT IOWA
  • Georgia: Yeah go ahead fight Georgia he seems like a dick. Also he probably sucks I mean we all know what happened to Georgia you might even win. Fight Georgia.
  • Ohio: bruh don't fight Ohio, set Ohio up with Sherry
  • Idaho: ehhhhhhhhhhh I feel like that would be a dick move. Don't fight Idaho.
  • Utah: how can you fight utah you don't even know what utah looks like

anonymous asked:

I find it funny that when 5h grind on guys and embrace their sexuality its a problem, but when Camila was feeling all on herself and grinding on people at Hot 100 fest it was "sexy". That's so fucking hypocritical. Here we have women aren't afraid to embrace that they are sexual beings and people are judging them. If you're leaving the fandom, then good riddance, we don't need fake ass fans like you. It's a fucking music video... fucking grow up...

I think you’re the one who should grow up sweets, you should grow up and open your eyes to the world we live in and how wrong it is turning.

First of all, you should stop justifying everything 5H does by comparing it to Camila, I have a problem with this music video, and obviously you have a problem with Camila. But if you want me to compare them so much then let me tell you that what Camila or 5H do on stage with their choreos is completely different than what they do in that music video. I mean come on, open your eyes, there’s a fine line between being sexy and being indecent and the He Like That music video definitely crosses that line. 

Second of all, I think it’s actually really scary that you would think this is the norm, that a video like this one can be shown on tv at any hour of the day like any other daytime show, or that it’s the only way for women to show that they are “sexual beings” - and since when does everyone needs to know that they’re “sexual beings”? What’s the point of that? Nobody is telling them they’re not, so what are they trying to prove? 

Once you understand that this industry is about Men then you’ll understand why things are that way. Behind all that body empowering and confidence speeches, all there is the male gaze and the fact that that gaze is somehow what’s making money because we live in a society that is male driven.

Women pretend that it’s their choice but really it’s not, it’s just the price to pay to be famous. Turning it into “women empowerment” is just an excuse to justify making music videos like this one. It’s just the illusion of empowerment.

Do you really think that they all find pleasure in showing their asses on camera? Would you feel comfortable doing that? For millions of people to see? Do you think that was their goal when they started out? Do you think that was the dream? They’re just stuck in this crappy industry and the only way to make it ok is to have the illusion than somehow they’re controlling this, and to try to find some deeper meaning than just “I’m showing my ass for money” - and that’s why their image during interviews is so different, because those girls are aware of how messed up all of this is and they’re trying to pick up the pieces.

That being said, no matter how much they try to justify this like they did for Down for example, it doesn’t change to fact that the message is completely erased by those images.

I mean, let’s take this from another point of view, I’m a 16 year old watching this, what message am I gonna get from it? That I should be confident enough to grin on men? That being confident in my body mean that I should be able to show it? Is this the goal? If I wanna be like 5H or Katy Perry or Miley Cyrus I need to act like this? We teach young girls that their body should be out there for every guy to see? That this is the definition of confidence? Well excuse me but that’s not the kind of confidence I would want my kids to have. 

Also I’ll talk about personal experience, I’ve never felt comfortable in my body, and if I was 16 in 2017 and watching the music video for He Like That then I know for a fact it would make me feel uncomfortable, because it sets unrealistic standards, like really how many girls are gonna go have an orgy in a club? How many girls would feel confident enough to show their bodies like that? The answer is not many. And why would that even be a goal to reach? 

Can’t you see how messed up that is? We live in a new society that is controlled by the internet and the medias, and that trivializes sex and violence as if it’s the most common thing. 10 years ago you would’ve NEVER EVER see that on tv, EVER - so I don’t even want to think about how things will be 10 years from now! I mean you should hear the stories I’ve heard, one of my best friend is a teacher in middle school, he told me stories that gave me chills, like five 11 years old girls ganging up on another girl because she refused to give a boy a blowjob! A blowjob!! At 11 years old!!!! 

This the society we’re living in right now! And if we say amen to everything the artists do just because you “stan” them and don’t speak up when something as appalling as this is happening then it’s only gonna get worse. 

WFH, Worth it, All In My Head (Flex) are sex driven songs but the music videos remained on the “sexy” side -  He Like That just completely went over the line.

It’s not about body confidence or female empowerment, it’s about pleasing the male gaze to make money and pretending that it has a deeper meaning when really it doesn’t, and while doing that it sends a distorted message to young girls about what being “confident” means, and I will not support it. The girls deserve more than this and as a fan you shouldn’t want this for them.

my biggest pet peeve ever is when you express a casual disliking towards something benign like a band, celebrity, or TV show, and a bunch of people hop in and hound on you as if you’ve besmirched the name of god himself

||Part of this really happened, though I improvised a bit.||
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! Anime and admits to being too lazy to read novels: Why would anybody like this guy? *posts gif where Izaya is saying*"People are my playthings."
  • Me: There are reasons I like Izaya: For one, he's intelligent, charming, cunning, has class, cares for and values his friendship with Shinra in his own way even though he has trouble with empathy(something I relate to), and despite everything, he's just a human even though he's able to bring down an entire organization like Amphisbaena. Not to mention I'm pretty sure he's jealous of practically everybody he comes into contact with. Shizuo, Mikado, Shinra, even Celty.
  • Me: He punches a telephone pole upon realizing he'd be betraying his only friend by normal human standards.
  • Me: And he was neglected by his parents emotionally. That's a very typical cause of personality disorders, just so you know. It's not entirely his fault that he is the way he is. Just saying. But I enjoyed watching him outsmart Amphisbaena. And I really like reading the novels for his philosophical views. Plus, he's kind of agnostic and fears death more than anything, something I can relate to.
  • Me: Haha his hand was literally swollen up because of slamming it into the telephone pole. But you know what happened when his sisters expressed concern for his hand?
  • This-
  • Mairu tilted her head and asked as she saw his right hand, “What happened, Iza-nii? Your right hand looks swollen.”
  • “...Health (Are you alright)?” Kururi looked at him with worried eyes.
  • Izaya stroked her head with his left hand and lied with a sigh, “Yeah, I got this when I was running away from Shizu-chan.”
  • “So you deserved it after all—”
  • “Keep yourselves away from muscle idiots like that one. Or you could die, you know.”
  • The siblings continued their conversation as they disappeared into the city night. The city, which took in everything it was offered, absorbed their talk into its nightly cacophony as it did any chit-chat within any normal family.
  • -
  • That was from the ninth Durarara!! Light novel.
  • But what was even sadder was the scene before that -
  • The twins flanked Izaya as he began walking, a bitter smile on his face. Mairu, who was on Izaya’s right, raised her face to look at him and said in a natural tone, “Say, Iza-nii. We know that you probably don’t treat us any differently as you treat other people, but keep in mind that we still think of you as family, OK?”
  • “All of a sudden you’re saying things that would actually make me happy. What happened?” Izaya felt that the line didn’t sound like Mairu, who usually told him to “Die!” and highkicked him when she saw him. He glanced at his sisters’ faces—and saw that they were smiling innocently back at him as they continued.
  • “So, if you get killed by Shizuo-san, Iza-nii, we’ll make sure to cry a little bit for you before we laugh about it.”
  • “Small (Just a little)...”
  • “...I was a fool to expect any family love from you.”
  • Izaya chuckled and walked faster.
  • - Also from LN 9, I have no clue why it wasn't in the novels. It really should have been. Especially the scene where he actually punched the telephone pole. But another reason I like Izaya is because not only is Izaya changing, but Narita himself said, "I have a feeling there was a scene where he cried, but he didn't let the readers see."
  • Somebody else: There are many reasons that make me like Izaya Orihara, like his fascinating personality, but that doesn't mean I think of him as a good man ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯ I love it anyway
  • Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
  • *throws in lame ass argument about what 'bad' things Izaya has done, without arguing, even though the argument could go both ways, considering he did take down Amphisbaena, and took Jinnai Yodogiri's corporation, giving Kasane Kujiragi back her freedom.*
  • Me: He's neither good nor bad. Most people can't be classified as either. We're all selfish in our own ways, and have a dark nature down deep that makes us want to test people at points. But without proper nurturing that can become harmful by nature, and it can consume us.
  • Somebody else number 2: The funny thing is that most people fail to recognize that they are of equal good/bad scale to Izaya without realizing it. It's only because Izaya is presented as an antagonist going against the common societal view that he is seen as a villain. Anyone that stands out against what is accepted is seen as bad because that is what we are taught at a young age to believe.
  • So saying that you hate Izaya because he is evil or bad is playing into those accepted, ingrained, and common beliefs.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • I don't have to like Izaya. I don't agree with you, and I don't want to argue about this. Izaya is pretty terrible. He started a whole war for fun, and told a girl to commit suicide. Any Shinra was just assuming when he said that Izaya has a fragile heart. Shinra is just some underground doctor(me: that doesn't know what he's talking about)?
  • Me: You don't have to like him, but you can't just deny canon. First off, he didn't want to start the war entirely for fun. He's an atheist/agnostic, and is terrified of death more than anything. The novels outright called Shinra, "his friend, the first person to see through Izaya to his true nature.". And Shinra described Izaya's 'true nature' as being more human and his heart more fragile than anybody else. Nextly, Shinra isn't 'just' some ignorant doctor. He has the potential to be the most manipulative character on the show if he really wanted to, and he's not ignorant. He's actually fairly insightful and observant, even when others aren't even though he ignores them because he only cares about Celty. Even Tom seemed weary of Shinra, implied by the novels.
  • Somebody else 4: Whether you like Izaya or not doesn't matter, because it's not just interpretation, it's canon, so in other words, you're just ignoring facts to justify your hatred for him.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • I mean he could made different choices and it could have turned out better.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime: I think Izaya's the worst one because he started the war.
  • Me: The same could be said for pretty much every single one of the characters, who all have done some pretty bad things, and crossed over things Izaya never would. *points out Shizuo's non justification for his hair trigger and how if it weren't for Simon, Shizuo could have killed somebody. Points out Ran's joking about raping both Saki and Mikage, as well as his abuse towards his brother, not to mention what he did and threatened to Saki(though he is jealous of the love Aoba receives from his parents, and the natural leader role Kyouhei has), points out Anri's hypocrisy in siding with Saika just because she saved her, points out Masaomi's cowardice(even though he has his really good moments), points out how Izaya saved Saki and multiple other girls from abusive situations, and especially Kuon's sister's experience with Izaya and how they can't properly seem to live without Izaya, points out the fact that, in reality, Mikado stabbed Aoba because he wanted to fulfill his ego, as well as the fact that he shot off a gun and caused a spark in the Awakusu-kai, points out some of the things Namie and Seiji did, not to mention Shinra's manipulative nature. Above all, points out all the trouble Nasujima caused and the terrible things he did(to Haruna and her family especially), as well as Jinnai Yadogiri sending Vorona(serial killer for fun at first, likely because of neglect) and Sloan to kidnap a child and do who knows what with her, considering all that Jinnai did to Ruri(also serial killer, but less for fun and more for revenge to get back at those who killed her parents)(not to mention Jinnai doing experimentation on her), though killing still starts to consume her because she feels freedom by doing so), Adabashi beating Shinra to a bloody pulp(though not apparently as bad as Shizuo has supposedly done to Shinra in the past, according to Shinra himself)(after which Izaya had Izumii break Adabashi's leg broke and kept him in his apartment for three days until he managed to escape.)* I'm not going to even go into Shizuo beating up a guy for simply questioning the purpose of life and telling him to go die, or the things Vorona, Shinra, Walker, Erika, Aoba, Rokujo, even Celty,(probably)Simon, and many others have done. Because every character has flaws and weaknesses that make them human. Minus Takashi and Jinnai Yadogiri, everybody has a least one person they have an attachment to of some sort and can feel a little closer to than others, even if they won't admit it, mostly everybody has unhealthy obsessions, Izaya nonetheless. But most everybody is changing, Izaya has even took the huge step of NOT calling Shizuo a monster, and instead admitting that Shizuo is just a man that distanced himself from humans. If that alone is not an improvement for him, I don't know what is.
  • Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime: *obviously didn't read much of anything* Eh, Izaya's not good, and I just can't find it in myself to like him. If he were a real person, I might sympathize with him a little bit, because he could find help, but he's just a character, and there's no real justification for why he is the way he is.
  • Other person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
  • The anime is made for you to interpret Izaya however you want.
  • Somebody else number 4: This is why people need to read the novels. There is more to Izaya than what is portrayed in the anime.
  • Me: Plus, both the anime and manga is there to promote the original sources, so, naturally, they are going to leave out stuff, because they want you to read novels.
  • Somebody else number 5: Izaya isn't evil. He's not a sociopath. He's not a psychopath. He's not a troll. He is indeed only human and only wants a little more in his life than sitting on a bed and binge watch anime. There's so many reasons to like him <3
  • Me: While sociopath can be a generic term used for people with delayed or limited empathy(due to trauma)(unlike psychopaths, who are just born that way), as far as I know, sociopathy can still be detected in brain scans, because their brain still works and is wired very similarly to a psychopath. Either way, I honestly don't believe Izaya is either. I believe that he's just a human with a normal brain like both of his brain scans suggested.
  • Somebody else number 6: I honestly love hate him, but mostly I hate him, but I gotta admit he's a hot bastard.
  • Me: You're kind of missing the point, but whatever. He, just like anybody, has a side to him one can hate, but he also has a side to him that makes him a very complex character. The way he views things are so fascinating and he really opened my eyes to certain things. I can relate to his philosophy, I can empathize with his feelings about humans, and especially his hatred/jealous of Shizuo(having grown up with a brother that acts much like him, just to a less extreme, not mention I've experienced some domestic abuse, so I don't just like him for his looks alone(even if he is pretty good looking. Like I said, he's charming, cunning, shrewd but with class, is kind of funny at times, has views on society that I personally understand, is jealous of a lot of people for various reasons which I can also relate to. Despite being a mere human, he uses his wits to get out of dangerous situations, and to take down corporations like Amphisbaena and Jinnai Yadogiri. He has a an amazing ability to turn the tables when one least expects it, and wonderful flexibility as well. Unlike Shizuo, who has super strength, or Mikado who has close confidants he can truly rely on, or Celty, who can use her shadows and many others, Izaya is just a human(though he's jealous of every one of them, not forgetting Shinra, and doesn't actually want to be acknowledged as himself.)
  • He's an incredibly written character in the novels, but ultimately one I can relate to in certain aspects, including the feeling of loneliness, and feeling fear at the one he called his '(only)best friend' being mad at him. It honestly frustrates me when people bash him, or ignore the things that make him who he really is.
  • Izaya isn't a sadist, he just wants answers. And he's an emotional masochist at it's finest, possibly a chaotic neutral, and both an Anti-Villain and Anti-hero(though maybe a little more on the Anti-villain side at times). Also, lastly Izaya didn't "convince girls to commit suicide". In reality, he saved them in the novels(even if it wasn't really his intentions.) Ryo didn't happen. Izaya didn't cause the blood splatter. Because Manami and the other girl were the last two he messed with, and it clearly said that nobody he met up had actually went through with it in the end.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • *has already abandoned conversation*
Being Renessmee's Twin Includes
  • Rosalie: I'm naming her Bella. I will not allow you to butcher and mesh two more names. Her name is Carlie. Deal with it.
  • Carlie: Why can't I fight with you and momma papa? I want to show the Volturi that I'm not a scared little girl. Anyone threatens to kill my family, I refuse to run away
  • Bella: Carlie, how many times have I told you? No throwing knifes in the house. You could hurt Renessmee or yourself. Be more careful.
  • Emmett: C'mon kiddo. I'll teach you how to fight.
  • Jasper: *scoffs* It'd be best if I teach her. You get frustrated too easily Emmett.
  • Carlise: Carlie, your growth is more rapid than Renessmee's. Your genes must be slightly different from hers. It could be an attribution to a power we haven't discovered yet.
  • Esme: It's so sweet of you to help me make dinner for you and Renessmee. I feel like you and I hardly get any time together. Renessmee's always off with either her parents or Jacob and you keep to yourself most of the time. Just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone sweetie. You are my grandbaby afterall.
  • Edward: Your mother and I don't love Renessmee more than you Carlie. We love you both equally. She just relies on us more than you. You've always been more independent than your sister.
  • Carlie: I'm more independent because you and mom are always with her and Aunt Rose takes care of me. But whatever. I don't care anymore. She'll be stuck here in Forks and you all will have to leave eventually and I will travel the world once I reach an acceptable age growth.
  • Bella: Where have you been Carlie?! You've been gone for three whole days! What on earth are you wearing?!
  • Carlie: *sighs* Relax mom. I went to Comic Con in San Diego and cosplayed as Harley Quinn. I went to have some fun. Geez, it's like your trying to keep me trapped with you forever since Renessmee started solely hanging out with Jacob. I bet you really hate that imprint now cause you finally have to pay attention to your other daughter.
  • Alice: Carlie, come shopping with me. We never spend any girl time together since you started buying your own clothes.
  • Carlie: But there's a Gotham marathon on today. How about I go shopping with you tomorrow then?
  • Jasper: *watching the Romanian aired teach you how to fight and use weapons from a window in the house because Bella and Edward forbid him from teaching her himself* I don't see what the problem was with them Alice. I have no urge to drink wither of the girls blood and I adore Carlie. I should be teaching her how to fight, not those barbaric two.
  • Alice: I know Jas. But she finally made some friends that weren't a part of our family. Renessmee has Jacob and that's all she needs. Carlie is free to expand herself unbound to anyone. We don't want to smother the girl by crowding her all the time.
  • Rose: I can't believe Bella never told you about periods. Oh wait, I can. Look Carlie, you have nothing to fear. It's completely natural.
  • Carlie: I HATE IT! I FEEL HORRIBLE ALL THE TIME AND I KEEP CRAVING CHEESECAKE AND CHEETOS!
  • Jacob: Why do you hate me Carlie? I never did anything to you.
  • Carlie: *rolls eyes and scoffs* Exactly. I hardly even know you and you're the guy my sister is bound to for life. You've hardly ever acknowledged me before. You've hardly ever spokento me and you have no interest in anyone but my sister. I don't like you because I know that the imprint you have with my sister isn't how you really are or were before my mom even started screwing with your life.
  • Bella: How can you say such a thing Carlie?!
  • Carlie: Oh please. Shut up mom. You know I'm right. You only support that imprint because now, Jacob will forever be within your grasp. Just because you chose not to have him all those years ago doesn't mean you get to keep him around when he's moved on with his life.
  • Renessmee: Will you be my maid of honor?
  • Carlie: I haven't seen or heard from you in nearly four years sis. And frankly I don't want to go to your wedding at all. You know your marriage won't end well. You're in love with Nahuel and whether you admit it or not, you don't feel the same pull if the imprint like you used to. Stop dragging Jacob along. Stop your relationship with him and decide what you want. God, you are worse than our mother. Make up your freaking mind.
  • Leah: I didn't think it would be possible, but I am actually best friends with someone who shares half her DNA with Bella Cullen.
  • Carlie: Oh hush. I'm nothing like my mother and you know it. Now shut up so I can hear Tom Hiddleston say "mewling quim."
  • Seth: Are you sure about this Carlie?
  • Carlie: Yes, for the thousandth time. I love you and I refuse to be bound to someone I met only once. I fell in love with you and that is what I've always wanted. To fall in love, not be bound by fate to become whatever my mate pleases.
Prompt Set #1 for 8000 Followers

1.) “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to find my son!”

2.) “What do you think happened here?”
“Don’t ask me that question.”

3.) “Wheres the flamethrower?”

4.)“Trust me, I’m just as clueless as you are.”

5.) “You think you can just steal from me, boy?”

6.) “This shit just keep getting weirder.”
“Lets just keep going.”

7.) “What did I just say? One at a damn time.”

8.) “Why do I even try with you? Sometimes I just wish…”

9.) “Anybody home?”
“What’s the password?”

10.) “You don’t have many friends do you?”
“Never felt the need to make any.”

11.) “Who names their child after a number?”
“I think you’re missing the point here.”

12.) “We’re running low on time.”
“Time doesn’t exist.”

13.) You live in a Utopian society, but the problems aren’t with the structure of the society, but at home. Perhaps your grandmother is dying of old age and she’s the last living relative that you know in your family. Maybe despite the peacefulness of life you wish for a thrill. Maybe you struggle with loneliness as your only friend is the robotic servent who practically raised you by itself. Maybe life is as good as it gets and the story is just about you enjoying the protection and peace that your life encompasses.

14.) “Man, I almost feel bad for ruining your life.”

15.) “Do whatever you want. This is the only life you’re going to get so you might as well live it the only way you can.“

16.) “It’s just as our parents taught us. We do what we can with what we have. And if we can’t do anything or if we don't​ have anything then we keep trying. That’s how this works.”

17.) “Stop questioning me and do what I say!”

18.) “This won’t end well.”
“Don’t jinx us.”

19.) “Put the fork down and we can all walk away from this peacefully.”

20.) “Your ignorance knows no bounds.”

21.) “I am five hundred years too old for this shit.”
“And yet you don’t look a day over two hundred.”
“Stop trying to butter me up.”

22.) “I trust only what I can see.”
“If so, then you are only limiting yourself to an extremely narrow view of life.”

23.) “Just be open. That is one of the many ways.”
“Can you tell me another way because I don’t understand what that means.”

24.) “So let me get this straight. We’re about to ask a princess to help us?”
“Technically she’s the Queen, but yeah, that’s the plan.”
“How are we about to do that smart guy?”
“She owes me a favor.”

25.) “I don’t think you understand what’s at stake here.”

26.) “Never trust a Shadow Elf.”
“What’s the difference between a Shadow Elf and a Dark Elf.”

27.) “You don’t really have a clear definition of who your dad really was. Let me explain.”

28.) “Everything is at random. Everything is random. Maybe that’s all we needed to know.”

29.) “Do you think we should trust her word for it? I really don’t want to go back to the estate bound and gagged simply because you gained a moment of conscious.”

30.) “Normally I’d agree, but I’ve seen what she can do. Trust me, it isn’t pretty.”

31.) “I can’t think of a better way for me to die than in your arms.”

32.) “You got me into this mess. You get me out.”

33.) “Trusting you seems to be a double edged sword and I have terrible luck.”

34.) “Remember what I did to your poor maid. You don’t want to end up like that do you?”

35.) “I made a gamble. Only time will tell if I made the right choice.”

36.) Write a store about two students. Person A appears to be the outgoing type but they’re really introverted and Person B is a mute, but one who chooses not to speak. The two meet by chance one day at Person A’s job.

37.) “Fuck that, I’m not giving you anymore money.”

38.) “Hey, did you eat the last of the pizza?”
“No.”
“Why are you lying?”

39.) “You really should stop drinking soda.”
“You really need to stop telling me how to live my life.”

40.) “I understand your anger but that doesn’t mean you had to kick my car.”

41.) “Let me take a hit of that.”
“You sure? I thought you had a drug test later this week?”
“My mom just died, Matt. The last thing I’m thinking about is my job.”

42.) “Welcome to the Soul Plane.”
“Doesn’t look like much.”
“Thats because you don’t have much of a soul. Or maybe you just don’t believe.”

43.) “You saved me, Milord. I don't​ understand.”
“When I saw you. I saw the eyes of my grandfather. Those were eyes of pure kindness and compassion. You did not commit that crime.”

44.) You are the victim of a gruesome vampire prank which results of you being unaware of your new state. You work at night and sleep most of the day so the vampire is anticipating your demise. New Vamps can still eat regular food but it's​ no longer has the nutritional properties it used too. The longer newbies go without blood the more irritable and at worse cases, feral they become. One day your boss asks you to work someone else’s shift as they failed to show up to work. Needing the extra money you accept and leave just before sun rises. As you're​ walking home you decide to watch the sunrise, cue you bursting into flames for an agonizing period of time. Luckily someone, maybe another vampire or different monster, saves you by pulling you into an alley.

45.) “Here, can you hold her for me? Make sure not to wake her up. She gets really angry when someone other than me is holding her.”
“Then why did you give her to me?”

46.) “Trust me. I wanna quit too, but having to see her heart break because we couldn’t complete our job is not on my bucket list.”

47.) “Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I don’t have other ways of finding you.”

48.) “The moon isn’t what you think it is.”
“If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had this conversation.”

49.) You are in the process of exploring a dirlect temple on the outskirts of your town. You used to explore here when you were younger​ but after years of mentally sketching the temple down in your mind you notice one day that in the basement there is a blood red mirror that wasn’t always there.

50.) One day while laying on the beach watching the sunset in the distance you see something too big to comprehend brushed across the surface of the water. You stand up in shock and look around to see if anyone else saw. Out of the few people who on the beach you spot a few others who look as though they saw what you saw.

BVB Feiertagsmagazin w/ Erik Durm - English translation
  • Nobby: Here he is! I'm very happy you've found your way to me once again, Erik. So far you haven't won a "Goal or No Goal" game against me, that's why I'm especially happy you're here today and I hope it stays that way. Are you confident?
  • Erik: Yeah, it didn't work out the last two times but I think it's finally time that I kick your ass.
  • Nobby: I'm excited! (laughs) Have you analysed the match against Benfica, yet?
  • Erik: Yeah, we talked about it in the hotel. Obviously, we were all sad about the result. I think our approach and way of playing was very good. I think Benfica only had one shot on goal, that one header, and otherwise we didn't give them any chances. Still sucks to lose 1:0 but we're confident that we'll be able to turn things around at home in front of our fans and proceed to the quarter finals.
  • Nobby: Have you ever experienced such a match? Being so dominant?
  • Erik: I don't think so, I mean I've only been here for 3 1/2 - 4 years and I haven't experienced something like it in that way. We were clearly the dominant team, we created many chances, even top-class ones, but yeah, sometimes the ball just doesn't want to get in. Sometimes there are matches like that. Nevertheless we have created a lot of chances, which was very important for us, for the team, and like I said we'll turn things around at home.
  • Nobby: You played badly in Darmstadt and lost, you played excellently in Lisbon and lost. Which face will we see on Saturday?
  • Erik: Well, I hope the one we showed in Lisbon only this time we of course want to get 3 points, we want to win. It's important for us to continue our home run and yeah, we feel good. Of course Darmstadt was a slip-up. Unfortunately, sometimes there are such games where nothing works out and the opponents surpass themselves and that was the case in Darmstadt. But it's still our own fault as well. But I think in Lisbon we showed a reaction and I think we'll be at the top of our game against Wolfsburg. We had 4 days to take a break and...
  • Nobby: And the spirit/mood/morale is good?
  • Erik: Well, yeah after Darmstadt we all were dejected, Lisbon as well, but looking at how we played I think we can look forward to Saturday with confidence.
  • Nobby: That's what you have to keep in mind and if you play like that on Saturday we won't lose.
  • Erik: Definitely!
  • Nobby: You're up against Wolfsburg. You usually say you don't look at how the opponent is doing. But we should and have to do that: they have won 2 of their last 4 games and lost the other 2. How do you rate/judge the team at the moment?
  • Erik: It's difficult to say something about Wolfsburg. They definitely have improved during the second half of the season, they have played good games, sometimes it's a bit of a surprise/lucky bag but to be honest, I haven't watched a lot of Wolfsburg matches. I'd rather focus on our team so I think if we follow through like we want to and if we play like on Tuesday against Lisbon we will win and we don't have to talk a lot about the others, just about us and then things will work out.
  • Nobby: Erik, you're free of injuries, you're a regular in the starting XI. Apart from the two losses how much do you enjoy your current situation?
  • Erik: Of course I enjoy it a lot. It's important for every player to be free of injuries and get playing time. I get that at the moment so I'm very happy but as I said my health is currently still my main focus.
  • Nobby: (touches Erik's knee) Is everything alright?
  • Erik: Yes, everything's ok. (both laugh) And yeah our manager is satisfied with our current performance as well and of course I'm always very self-critical. Especially after Darmstadt I was very self-critical and wasn't satisfied with myself but nevertheless I'm fit, I'm healthy and I'm happy about every minute I get.
  • Nobby: Currently, you're playing in midfield as a winger. You played the same position in the U23. Do you feel comfortable there?
  • Erik: Well, the midfield postion is mainly an offensive part, I'm still also playing in the back five in the defense. We always shift around a bit which works pretty well. Obviously, Schmelle and I always have to run a lot but I think we both know how to do that. That's why this position fits us well and yeah, being involved at the front is always fun...
  • Nobby: You were a striker originally, weren't you?
  • Erik: I was originally playing as a 9 so not that much on the wings but-
  • Nobby: You know how to score goals
  • Erik: One can hardly imagine, yeah. (both laugh) I had some inhibitions when I played for the Dortmund amateurs, didn't quite work out with scoring but after that I've become a defender pretty quickly, thanks to Kloppo, but it's still a lot of fun to be able to make a difference in the offense.
  • Nobby: The Süd will be empty. That will be a weird picture for all of us, for you as well?
  • Erik: Yes definitely! I mean, the atmosphere here in our stadium is always awesome. The süd being behind us is quite impressive. Especially when we play at home they encourage us and spur us on immensely. Yeah... it's such a shame that the Süd won't be there on Saturday.
  • Nobby: When you score a goal you'll still celebrate toward the Süd...
  • Erik: Yes! (both laugh) Yeah, if I score a goal, which for me doesn't happen that often, I'll still celebrate of course.

Hold up.

How can anyone still say that Mon-El could have changed things on Daxam if he would willingly return? The last 2 episodes fully established that Mon-El having a voice in what Daxam would become as they moved forward was next to impossible.

Mon-El said that nothing would change if he returned and no dialog is accidental. He is the character that can deliver a reliable narrative about his parents and what they’re like. But the show didn’t just tell us that, in the very next episode they showed us that as well.

Keep reading

Lucas/Maya One Shot...Kinda
  • Setting: Outside Topanga's. Lucas enters store, sees Josh with mystery girl in booth, talking close and laughing together, backs to the door. Lucas turns around and stops Maya short in her tracks:
  • Lucas(dodging and blocking her as she tries to look/get past him): Hey! Hey. Hey Hi. How are you?
  • Maya (Confused, annoyed): I’m…fine? I’ll be better once I get my smoothie though, so if you’ll just kindly move out of my way-
  • Lucas (Physically blocking her again, coaxing her like a child): -Orrrr maybe we could go get ice cream. You like ice cream, right? Yea? Come on, you know you do….mint chip? Chocolate? Strawberry with fudge? Isn't that your favorite? Great so let’s go then-
  • Maya(Increasingly annoyed): No-get off me Huckleberry I don’t want ice cream, I want a smoothie. “Lets go get a smoothie” means let’s get a smoothie not let’s get to the place where they sell the smoothies then decide to go get ice cream.
  • : Gives him strange look as she passes:
  • You are SUCH a freak sometimes…
  • Lucas(to himself): Nobody ever listens to the freak.
  • : Lucas follows Maya inside
  • Maya (Has spotted Josh, stopped short): Oh. So that’s why you didn’t want me to come in.
  • : Maya turns and walks back outside, Lucas follows:
  • Lucas: Maya, I…
  • Maya (Shaking her head): You know what? It’s fine.. We said the long game, didn’t we? We never said right now. If he want’s to…talk with someone else then that’s just part of the deal we made. It doesn’t mean anything changes between us, right?
  • Lucas: I-I don't know...
  • Maya (tearing up, desperately): No I’m right Lucas, say I’m right... You’re Mr. Moral Compass you know the difference between right and wrong, tell me that it’s fine he’s in there with some other girl and that it doesn’t change anything.
  • Lucas (Beat): …Okay. It doesn’t change anything then.
  • Maya (Wiping tears, fake chuckling): Great. So…How about ice cream?
  • Lucas (Looking back into Topanga's): Sure. Good idea. Just… give me a sec, OK?
  • Maya: You’re not gonna try and be a hero are you, cowboy? Because he’s obviously…busy and I don’t need to go bothering him-
  • Lucas: -I just need to use the little boys room, is that allowed?
  • Maya: …Oh. Ok. Gross.
  • : Maya exits up stairs:
  • : Lucas enters, taps shoulder of Josh:
  • Josh: …Lucas? Uh, hi, whats up man, how’s it going-
  • Lucas: -How could you do this?
  • Josh: Do what?
  • Lucas(gesturing at Josh and girl): This, how could you possibly do this to Maya?
  • Josh(Gesturing towards girl): Dude!
  • : Josh gets up and pulls Lucas aside:
  • Maya and I had an understanding-
  • Lucas: Yea? Did your understanding include her coming in here to see you sitting with another girl, again, and then go running out of here crying...AGAIN?
  • Josh: I...I didn’t know she would be here-
  • Lucas: -You didn’t know she would show up at a place she goes almost every day after school?
  • Josh: Well I didn’t think-
  • Lucas: -You didn't think.
  • Josh: Ok hey, wait a second, that's not very fair. I TOLD Maya she should focus on the now, that we both needed to live our lives.
  • Lucas: Do you think that makes any kind of difference when she walks in here and sees something like this?
  • Josh: It wasn’t like I was trying to hurt her. It was an honest mistake-but you know, Mr. Western Hero, you sure are getting pretty heated about something that isn't really your concern.
  • : Maya enters, standing watching, Lucas and Josh don't notice:
  • Lucas: Except it does concern me. Because I care about Maya…a LOT. She's one of my best friends and the most selfless person I know. She would do anything to make the people she loves happy and she deserves someone who can give that back to her.
  • Josh: I want to see her happy.
  • Lucas: Do you? Cause if I were you I would-
  • Josh: But you're not me.
  • Lucas: Nope. I'm not.
  • : Stares at ground, long beat, thinking/hesitating, launches into speech:
  • Do you even see the real her? Or really know her at all? How unbelievably beautiful, creative, and funny she is? Not to mention brave? Do you? Because if you don’t Josh? Walk away. Walk away now. Maya doesn’t need any more reasons to feel broken. And she definitely doesn’t need to get caught up in waiting around for some guy who isn’t going to take her feelings seriously. She needs someone who is going to appreciate how special she is.
  • Josh: And who is that someone supposed to be? You, Lucas? That person is supposed to be you?
  • Lucas: I didn’t say that-
  • Josh: -You CHOSE Riley. Not Maya. Riley. Or do you not remember that?
  • Lucas: Of course I remember, but that doesn’t mean-
  • Josh: -That you don’t like her?
  • Lucas: This isn’t about me this is about Maya-
  • Josh: -Oh no I think this is definitely about you too, man. You still like her…You still like her a lot.
  • : Lucas stares at Josh, they don’t break gaze:
  • Lucas (Gets serious, close to Joshs face, quietly and fiercely): All I know, is that if I see her cry over you one more time, I might have to ruin the reputation I’ve worked so hard to get around here. And I’d rather not do that. So how about you just do whatever it takes to fix this and save us all the trouble.
  • : Josh looks past Lucas, sees Maya. Lucas catches his gaze, turns around to see Maya there:
  • Maya: Lucas…I-
  • : Lucas gives one last glare at Josh, storms out past Maya. Maya stares in disbelief for a second, then follows him out:
  • Maya: Lucas!
  • : Lucas turns around on the stairs:
  • Maya: ….Thank you? What you said, I mean, I didn't think you-
  • Lucas(Shrugging): Don't mention it. It was nothing.
  • : Lucas exits:
  • Maya(to herself, confused): It was definitely something.
sun and moon signs + random advice
  • Aries: You're always the centre of attention without even trying, people always want to be around you. I know it's hard sometimes but take some time for yourself just once
  • Taurus: You're the devil in disguise, you can come of so pure but deep down your soul is dark just like your thoughts. Just embrace your dark side, anyone has one it's not a bad thing
  • Gemini: You're really good at making people think that you're smart whilst your mind is actually a random mess. Remember, you don't need to be the smartest all the time, it's okay to fail for once
  • Cancer: You're so pure and people might want to take advantage of you, watch out because you'll end up crying over things that could've been prevented.
  • Leo: People always see you as someone confident and strong, I know it's just one big show and you doubt yourself all the time. Just be honest about it because otherwise people will think that you're cocky, and besides, everyone has their insecurities
  • Virgo: I know that you try please everyone all the time, but please remember that you're your own number one priority. You need to be happy yourself before you wanna go and make others happy.
  • Libra: You don't need lots of friends and relationships to define yourself. You are your own person and if you don't watch out people will try and take advantage of your niceness.
  • Scorpio: For some reason you seem to attract people who are mentally or emotionally unstable, and they always want your help. Remember you have your own problems too. Don't spend all your time helping people who don't really care about you in the end
  • Sagittarius: You always want to go somewhere, and even tho it's good to make your dreams reality remember that other people get attached to you and you always leave them in the cold, everyone might think that you're just taking advantage of them.
  • Capricorn: Feelings are a part of being a human being. Don't hide them because people should love you for you even when you feel like crying. If they truly love you they're there for you 24/7.
  • Aquarius: I know you love being original, but remember that not everything can be all for you. People like your vibe because it's fresh and different and that's why they try to copy it. Remember that it's a good thing to have ppl looking up to you.
  • Pisces: your head always seems to be in the clouds and although dreaming is fun it shouldn't ruin your real life. Remember that you have responsibilities here on earth and you can't fly forever

anonymous asked:

I don't see why anyone likes you you're a piece of crap

I know right. Even I think that about myself :D matter of fact there are tons of reasons to Hate me which I’ve said several times before so lets count em down ^u^

Reasons to Dislike JaxBlade :)

I’m Overly Optimistic….like annoyingly so at times. I look at the glass Half Full and my lifes been crappy but I always see the good. A lot of pessimist people I met don’t like me cause they think I’m fake but hey Most of the time this is me appreciating the good times though to lead into my next one.

I can be a tad emo at times.…There are times where i feel like my friends dont like me at all, I’m burden to them and they are just being polite especially if we go long bouts without talking and i feel all alone and depressed and Kinda clingly. Luckily Im working on that day by day

I can be a Bit Cocky and Arrogant at times. I’m proud of my body and like to show it off cause I used to be fat and seeing myself improve eveyday gives me a slight ego boost and I like to show off.

I can be a such an Attention Whore: In so many areas xD especially If I’m at a place I like to be center of attention and take off my shirt to show off even though

I have mediocre results for a fitness person: I’ve working out since I was 16 and I’ve barely added that much mass to my frame. Speed and Strength have skyrocketed since back then but I’ve been working out Damn near 10 years and my physique honestly isnt that impressive even though I like to gloat

I’m kind of a Perv Not like peeking through windows and stealing womens under-roos but I love women, I love booty and I love breasts. I love the concept of an hour glass woman with curves in all the right places and thats the primary stuff of my Special blog

I can be the Biggest Dick if you’re an Asshole to my friends: when people insult me I gotta thank all those years of bully beatings for giving me tough skin cause i can get on but if someones fucking with a friend of mine or someone close I become like a fuckin supervillain and If they are out of shape and being an ass to my friends I let lose and break their self esteem. Luckily with all the meditation I do now I dont do that as much and focus on my day

I’m indifferent on a lot of things that people get upset over: Like a lot of people can be pissed off and ask me my opinion and Im usually like “yeah that sucks” and they get mad at me cause I’m like Meh. The last time i remember that was that Dear Fat people video that a lot of people bashed and while I personally didnt agree with how she was saying her message as a person who was beaten up and fat shamed and used that as motivation to get in shape. It honestly didnt bother me that much and I didnt think anything of it but a few people got mad at me cause they thought i was promoting fat shaming with my indifference

I’m all for Gay people and their rights: so Some people may call me a “Fag lover” or something cause Im supportive of the gay community BUT i do know something about me. I was at one of my Best friends’ , since we were 14, Wedding 2 years ago he’s gay and been that way since he said he was 12, and I met his husband there and his husband was cool and an awesome dude and I thought they were great. But when they said “Kiss the Bride” I looked away. and I notice I do that a lot when I hang out with my gay friends marcus and kevin and they kiss I just look away. I’m happy that they are happy and in love but seeing two men kiss makes me a lil uncomfortable SO I HAVE to work on myself to be a bit more liberal

I’m Black: so Racists hate me just cause of the melanin in my skin so theres that

The Brony thing: I used to be a Hardcore brony back in 2011-2012 till I dropped the term and now Im just a casual fan of the show. So Some people can dislike me because I watched it and others call me a poser and fake cause im in my Buddy Racebest’s Bronies React videos but i dont use the term brony for myself anymore since im just a casual fan of the show so theres that.

I Prefer Dubbed over Subbed anime

I’m kind of a Man whore

I’ve Lied to the ones I loved the most and the ones I was closest to because I was scared that they’d leave If somethings wrong with me I usually laugh it off and kind of do a Lie of omission if someone asks. So I need to work on being more open to people who care about me

I dont like the Pixar film Up xD and some people have legit told me they hate me for that and unfollowed me

I Quote my Bullying story a Sickening amount for Motivation and Inspiration for people.

I like seeing Criminals and bad people in general die in horrible ways and think they should be put down for the count instead of imprisoned.

If its not Fitness, Health, Exercise, Anime, Cartoon, Comic stuff I can be considered borderline retarded at points

I can be Overbearingly Overcaring for people I care about at points that I come off as Irritatingly clingy

———————————————————–

And theres a WHOOOOOOOLE Lot More that I openly admit and all I can do is acknowledge it and work on bettering myself like a Redemption Arc Yeah like Kenshin when he went from Battosai to Heroic Samurai or Vegeta mass murdering warrior to Lovable Family Guy. Its gonna take some time but I’m willing to work on it But I’ve already accepted all my faults so I can use them to better myself

If the KBTBB MC was in various Fandoms (Doctor Who)
  • (The MC cleans the penthouse as the bidders click through the channels on the TV. The MC hears the Doctor Who theme, but it quickly dies as they click past the BBC)
  • MC: *stops cleaning* "Turn it back."
  • Baba: "Huh?"
  • MC: "Please turn it back. I love that show."
  • Baba: "The one on the BBC?"
  • MC: "Yes."
  • Ota: "Oh geez. Please tell me you're not into that weird Sci-fi stuff."
  • MC: *looks dejected*
  • Baba: "Ota, that's no way to speak to a lady. She can like whatever she wants." *turns it back to the BBC*
  • Soryu: "Who gave HIM the remote?"
  • Mamoru: "Why ya gotta cave like that, Baba!?"
  • (They all watch Doctor Who)
  • Hikaru: "The special effects are...interesting."
  • Eisuke: "That's an understatement. In addition, the writers randomly make exceptions to the rules of the world to allow the characters to bypass impossible situations in which they should die."
  • Hishikura: "Bending their own rules.." *glares at Eisuke* "Sounds like someone I know."
  • Baba: "If you keep watching, you will realize the writers are geniuses. When they make exceptions, it's not a cop out to avoid dealing with character development or change. It's about timing. They wait to eliminate characters until it's necessary. Everything in this show is purposeful."
  • Everyone: *speechless, they all stare at the womanizing thief*
  • Baba: "...I like Doctor Who."
  • Ota: "Why?"
  • Baba: "Because there's something about the Doctor I relate to."
  • MC: "He's a clever thief who ran away, traveling, doing crazy things, helping people, so he can escape from his past." *looks at Baba* "Sounds like someone I know."
  • Eisuke: "Hishikura, she just used your line to flirt. This gives your previous statement different implications, does it not?"
  • Hishikura: "I hate you."
  • Baba: "And much like the Doctor, I've got my own Impossible Girl." *winks*
  • MC: "Run you clever boy, run."
  • Ota: "I'm going to vomit if you two don't stop with the nerdy googley-eyes."
  • Luke: "Britain -- dominating time travel since 1963."
To Build a Fire (brought to us by @parisbautista)
  • Ralph, Simon, Jack, Roger, Piggy: *camping*
  • Ralph: Guys
  • Ralph: We need a fire
  • Jack: Not this shit.
  • Ralph: We need the full camping experience!
  • Piggy: I agree. A fire would be a very good thing
  • Roger: But we don't even know how to build a fire.
  • Ralph: Eh...we'll figure it out.
  • Ralph, Piggy, Simon: *goin to get firewood*
  • Roger: *looks at Jack*
  • Jack: *looks at Roger*
  • Roger: This is stupid.
  • Jack: I know! I just wanted to explore man. Why are we being forced to make a fire???
  • Jack, Roger: *reluctantly join the others*
  • Ralph: I can't! Get the firewood!! Out of the plastic wrap it came in!!!!
  • Roger: You fool
  • Roger: *runs over with a knife, cuts the wood out*
  • Piggy: *has stolen the marshmallows* *does not give a shit about sharing*
  • Simon: *trying to light matches*
  • Simon: HECK- *doesn't like it when it actually lights*
  • Jack: *watching everything* Lmao you guys are crazy
  • Ralph: *finishes stacking firewood* THIS FIRE IS READYYYY
  • Roger: *still holding the knife very tight*
  • Jack: *begins to sweat* Roge you wanna put that down?
  • Roger: No
  • Piggy: *lights a match* SHIT *is startled, throws it*
  • Jack: That's not how you do it
  • Jack: *runs over, lights match* *throws match onto firewood* See?
  • Simon: Guys I think we should get some newspaper to kindle it
  • Piggy: On it *throws paper in*
  • Fire: *throws paper right back out*
  • Piggy: Oh heck *picks up paper, tries to place it* AGH ITS HOT
  • Roger: *laughs* *places newspaper in correctly* I'd survive in the woods guys
  • Piggy: Oh, would you really now?
  • Jack: You'd survive lord of the flies?
  • Roger: ...
  • Piggy: ...
  • Ralph: ...
  • Simon: ...
  • Jack: ...
  • Roger: I can't survive the fourth wall, apparently
  • Piggy: It's okay, not many people can
  • Simon: *tries to throw more newspaper into the fire* *misses*
  • Jack: wHY
  • Simon: Hey Roge, give me that sharp stick you're holding
  • Roger: No way. This is my Fire Poking Stick
  • Simon: Just give it
  • Roger: *reluctantly listens to his lover*
  • Simon: *poking the fire*
  • Roger: Si you're putting the fire out!
  • Jack: It's all embers now dude
  • Piggy: I think we need to focus on the real problem. We have nothing comfortable to sit on
  • Jack: *showing Simon how to properly tend the fire*
  • Roger: Where did Ralph go?
  • Ralph: *appears, eating all the s'mores chocolate*
  • Roger: Dude!
  • Jack: What the FUCK Ralph?!?!
  • Ralph: Guys why is the fire only on one side of the pit???? I leave you for two minutes and you completely screw up the fire, jeez
  • Piggy: If we put in smaller branches for kindling, we can work on spreading the fire
  • Roger: What a GREAT idea! You should get them
  • Piggy: Fine... *grabs sticks from a nearby bush*
  • Jack: Put in the green leaves
  • Ralph: NO. NOT THE LEAVES. JUST THE WOOD.
  • Piggy: *S C R E E C H E S*
  • Ralph: ?????
  • Piggy: I think I saw some bugs on the sticks
  • Jack, Roger, Simon: *doubled over, cackling*
  • Ralph: You good, man?
  • Piggy: Yeah
  • Roger: *points to the entire bush* Why don't you try and put this WHOLE THING in the fire???
  • Ralph: Guys, let's not fight. We have to get along
  • Ralph: *starts blowing on the fire*
  • Simon: What are you doing???
  • Ralph: Oxygen helps fire!
  • Roger: Are you stupid?
  • Ralph: ...Are you?? I know what I'm doing guys. I just took a course, I'm a certified pyromaniac
  • Roger: Whatever, I'm not talking to you
  • Jack: Ralph you liar, you never took a course
  • Ralph: Yes I did!
  • Jack: *doubtful laughter* Chill out Ralph, you're so tense all the time
  • Ralph: At least I don't go around punching people
  • Jack: RUDE
  • Ralph: Let me concentrate on my fire now! You're gonna make me make it go out
  • Ralph: Also I'm gonna eat all the chocolate, and there's nothing you can do about it
  • Jack: *huffs in anger*
  • Roger: *looming menacingly over Piggy*
  • Piggy: Hi
  • Roger: *looms*
  • Piggy: *shrinks*
  • Simon: *poking at the fire with Roger's Fire Poking Stick*
  • Jack: *cackling* Ah I love the Discourse
Stargazing

Ezio Auditore x Reader

On the second day of Edmas, Captain Kenway gave to me…


A warm hand on the small of your back was guiding you through the darkness, your vision blocked by a red sash.

“Just a bit further, amore mio.” His smooth voice spoke from behind you, the sound as beautiful as the gentlest of music.

“It would be easier if you took the blindfold off.” You laughed, blindly following Ezio’s guiding hand.

“Perhaps, but not as fun.” Ezio teased, his hot breath ghosting along the back of your neck.

You shivered, a combination of his closeness and the cold, winter air. Lights were dancing beneath your eyelids, the soft tune of a sweet song echoing into the night air. You could practically feel Ezio’s smile behind you, his pace quickening as you drew closer to whatever surprise he had in store.

“Okay, caro,” he breathed, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning in close. His chest was pressed tight to your back, his soft hair tickling your shoulder. “You can take it off.”

You smiled at the enthusiasm in his voice, your fingertips gliding along the silky texture of the sash. You peeled it away slowly, your eyelashes fluttering open. A light misting of rain drops ran down on the two of you, Ezio’s heat keeping you warm. Dozens of flickering lights met your gaze, the darkness of night lost in the beauty of the atmosphere. The candles formed a path, red petals littering the ground between each radiant light.

“Ezio,” you murmured, grinning like an idiot. He mirrored your expression, the curve of his lips pressed against your neck.

“Keep walking.” He insisted, disentangling his arms from around you. A shiver ran through your body at the loss of his warmth, his fingers interlacing with your own instead. A new wave of heat spread through you, his contact alone warming your heart.

“Are you bringing me out here to murder me?” You joked lightly, bringing his arm around your shoulders and nuzzling against him.

“You better watch out, dolce cuore,” he warned jokingly, a laugh on the tip of his tongue. The candles, still shining bright, were beginning to burn out, light puffs of smoke breezing through the air. The forest surrounding the both of you was eery, strange noises and rustling branches following the two of you like a creature hunting prey. Ezio’s brown gaze watched you from above, his soft, pink lips curved up in a smile.

“Here,” he signalled, stopping you in the middle of a clearing. The moon shone down upon the both of you, the lights of stars twinkling up above. The gentle bite of wind and light showers no longer bothered you, your eyes focused on the sky.

“It’s beautiful.” You breathed, the stars reflecting in your eyes. So many hopes and so many dreams could be seen in their soft twinkle, the sky like a sea of aspiration. A thousand untold stories were hidden in their sweet sparkle, your hand unconsciously reaching out to trace some of the more visible constellations.

“Yes, you are.” Ezio whispered, his lips against your ear. A delightful shiver ran down your spine, a tingle left where Ezio’s lips had been against your bare skin.

“Ezio.” You groaned playfully, faintly shoving his shoulder. He chuckled, a smooth and soft baritone to your ears.

“I speak only the truth, mia bella.” Your heart warmed at his rich tone, your body automatically seeking out more contact with him. He happily obliged, his head resting atop yours and his hands rubbing patterns up and down your back.

“I hate you.” You muttered, smiling despite yourself. A twitch of his lips brought on his own smile, his palms temporarily pushing you closer into him. He smelled of the fresh rain and roses with a deep undertone of lemony thyme. Your hands tightened around his neck at the familiar scent, your eyes falling shut at the intimacy.

“You wound me.” His voice was barely audible above the pounding of his heart by your ear, his steady breathing bringing it back to normal.

Your lips, pressed tightly against his chest, curved up in a smile when he cuddled closer, seeming to be almost feeding off your contact. He was like this often, reveling in every minute that he got to spend in your arms. Which, sadly, wasn’t nearly enough for you. He’d brought you out here as an apology, of sorts, for not being able to devote every minute with you. Of course, you understood why, but he seemed adamant about making it up to you.

A short burst of wind rustled your clothing, a large exhale passing through his lungs.

“It’s getting colder.” Ezio noted, his tone wistful. “Perhaps we should journey back.”

The thought of having to endure the strange and wild roads for another few days had you gripping onto his back tightly, your body practically being held up by his arms.

“A few minutes longer?” You pleaded, opening your eyes and batting your eyelashes a few times for good measure. At his look of protest, you stuck your bottom lip out, giving him your best impersonation of a needy dog. He broke almost immediately, nodding and pulling you back into an embrace.

“Only a few minutes.” He mumbled, running a hand through your (Y/H/C) locks.

The tug of his skillful fingers had you cuddling even closer to him, your head wedged in between his head and shoulder. You breathed him in, your own fingers dancing along the curve of his spine. Muscles flexed and relaxed beneath your touch, his entire demeanour shifting to something more comfortable and familiar at the feel of your hand on his body.

“Io ti amo.” He said, the ghost of a smile on his lips. There was no desperation or anger or sadness in his tone, just a sweet, honest declaration of love. You smiled, your cheeks almost aching at how wide you’d spread them.

“I love you too.” You replied, the cloth of his robes soft beneath your fingertips.

Something decidedly colder landed on the crown of your head, your body tensing beneath it. Ezio breathed out a laugh, his fingers swiping the offending item from your head. He presented it to you with childish glee, a sole, white snowflake melting on his fingertip.

“It’s snowing.” You giggled, watching the flakes with awe.

They were beautiful, each unique in their own way. You were so lost in your observation of the snowflakes, you failed to see the way Ezio’s eyes lit up with your smile, or the way he fell even more in love with each sweet word that slipped through your lips. He could tell you how he felt over and over again, he could even show you how he felt, but for the moment, he’d rather just watch and fall even further in love with your smile, with your laugh, with you.

compliments for the signs
  • Aries: everyone is always pissing on yall for being angry. so what? you show emotion! you aren't afraid to stick up for what you believe in! PS i am waiting impatiently to be present for when some dumbass tells an Aries "dude, chilllllll" literally ill back you up leggo
  • Taurus: ok so everyone says you don't stop eating and you're lazy af. that's literally the entirety of Tumblr. my sister is a Taurus and yeah she eats loads and wont move to pick up a remote... and???? she's the best person i know, super fit, totally hilarious, and so are all of you. side note: why are you all so pretty??
  • Gemini: the "two-faced bitch" is getting annoying. i know loads of gems and none of them have wronged me or anyone i know. you guys have one of the best senses of dry humor, and you're always there to listen to my problems. you always get things done like one day you'll be commenting on some guys ass then bam you're dating him??? like that was easy
  • Cancer: i don't care if you're crying over spilt milk. gfy!!! you're sad! thank you for telling me!!! thank you for not being that person that says "i'm fine" and we all know is :( because that really sucks man i love being there for people thank you for opening up to me really
  • Leo: so you act really confident and self-aware and you hide your insecurities. NEWS FLASH: you shouldn't have any because you're fuggin 100% all the times i can't even begin. You're never afraid to try out new styles and you compliment those who look uncomfortable in their own skin and i love that. one last thing, i love it when you're so open about who you want to be and what you want to do and you don't care about other peoples opinions on that.
  • Virgo: there's so much more to you than your brains. you, gemini, scorpio, and taurus should just get together and let all the other signs watch ya'll talk because 8/8 m8 your humor is on point. also you're so understanding of your friends like you're so accepting. i could tell you i was going to have plastic surgery on my arm to add scales so i could be like a dragon and you'd tell me what color would look good on me.
  • Libra: this whole "superficial" biz is getting boring. ya'll are always so sweet to me. your the sign that, if they saw a kid crying, would go up to that stranger and ask whats wrong. then they'd go over to the kid that made em cry, see their point of view, and then properly unleash your wrath on the one in the wrong. like you're so fair and honest and unbiased and that's so cool because i'm sick of people not seeing others points of view.
  • Scorpio: sex-addict and psychopath is so old. hell yeah you're good at sex! hell yeah you get pissed! who doesn't? there's so much more to you than that. people forget you're in the water element for a reason. you're so insecure and sad and waiting for people to see you for who you are. you're so kind to your friends, you'd kill for them. (kidding). you're protective and passionate and feel everything so strong and great at reading people. you let others open up. thank you for that.
  • Sagittarius: i would give anything to go on a trip with you. they say you're detached af but everyone has their shit. so you have trouble opening up to people. so you have trouble talking to people about some things and sure you don't always show emotion. self-preservation ring a bell? you're doing your best being you. but please don't be afraid to open up. we all love you so much and you're so great and just such a wonderful person. don't stop that.
  • Capricorn: you work so hard. you're literally always pushing yourself and never asking for help but you're dying on the inside. you're wearing yourself thin and it has got to be exhausting. you make me day everyday with your laughs and humor and perkiness. you're legit so cute and you find the stupidest things funny. aLS0 your pet peeves are so cute. the weirdest things annoy you?? one example being that i used the word 'stupidest' in this.
  • Aquarius: you are s0 FUNNY omfg yeah you have that weird sense of humor and your aliens and memes 100% but that's so cool of you. you're so passionate about the world and your beliefs and no one gives you credit for that. plus you're such a leader. people would follow you blindly with your confidence. you typically see the good in the world and you're so free-spirited. legit 8/8 ily
  • Pisces: you're always stressed and constantly sad. don't. you have so much to live for. your laugh is so cute and you're so creative even though you don't admit it. you act tough at times but there's no need to. you could open up to anyone and they'd all be happy that you came to talk to them. you tell the best stories and your jokes are that stupid kinda funny. your awkwardness is adorable and i love you for that
Take Me Home sentence starters
  • "Come on and let me sneak you out."
  • "We'll be doing what we do, just pretending that we're cool."
  • "I know we only met, but let's pretend it's love."
  • "Don't overthink, just let it go."
  • "If we get together, don't let the pictures leave your phone."
  • "We wanna live while we're young."
  • "If you don't wanna take it slow and you just wanna take me home, baby, say yeah."
  • "I just wanna show you off to all of my friends."
  • "Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me."
  • "You've never loved your stomach or your thighs, the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine, but I'll love them endlessly."
  • "I'm in love with you."
  • "You'll never treat yourself right, darlin', but I want you to."
  • "Come on and dance with me, baby."
  • "I been watching you all night."
  • "Let me be your last first kiss."
  • "I wanna be the first to take it all the way like this."
  • "I'm afraid you'll run away if I tell you what I've wanted to tell you."
  • "Maybe this is a mistake."
  • "Seein' you with him just don't feel right."
  • "You're all I ever wanted, thought you would be the one."
  • "Now that you're gone, I can't stand dumb love songs."
  • "Do you remember summer '09?"
  • "It was the best time of my life."
  • "They can never shut us down."
  • "I used to think that I was better alone."
  • "Why did I ever wanna let you go?"
  • "The words you whispered I will always believe."
  • "We should say goodbye."
  • "Are we friends or are we more?"
  • "If you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind."
  • "Up in my head I'm your boyfriend, but that's one thing you've already got."
  • "Reality ruined my life."
  • "Feels like I'm constantly playing a game that I'm destined to lose."
  • "I can't compete with your boyfriend."
  • "Would he love you like I would?"
  • "I'd never leave her."
  • "It's no joke to me."
  • "Can we do it all over again?"
  • "You know I can tell that your heart isn't in it, or with it."
  • "We can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start."
  • "You'll never know how to make it on your own."
  • "But do you really want to be alone?"
  • "Baby, you don't have to worry, I'll be coming back for you."
  • "I've never been so into somebody before."
  • "Tell me nothing's gonna change."
  • "We're too young to know about forever."
  • "This love is only getting stronger."
  • "I just wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl."
  • "I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us."
  • "They don’t know I've waited all my life just to find a love that feels this right."
  • "They don’t know how special you are."
  • "They don’t know what you’ve done to my heart."
  • "They can say anything they want 'cause they don’t know us."
  • "It's between me and you, our little secret."
  • "Can't believe you're packing your bags."
  • "Don't promise that you're gonna write, don't promise that you'll call, just promise that you won't forget we had it all."
  • "You always will be my summer love."
  • "Wish that we could be alone now, we could find some place to hide."
  • "So please don't make this any harder, we can't take this any farther."
  • "She's addicted to the feeling of letting go."
  • "I'm the only one that gets to take her home."
  • "Every time I tell her that I want more, she closes the door."
  • "She's so afraid of falling in love."
  • "Maybe she's just trying to test me."
  • "Maybe all her friends have told her 'don't get closer, he'll just break your heart'."
  • "Every time I tell her how I feel, she says it's not real."
  • "I was the only one who loved you from the start."
  • "When I see you with him it tears my world apart."
  • "I've been waiting all this time to finally say it, but now I see your heart's been taken and nothing could be worse."
  • "Had my chances, could have been where he is standing."
  • "I loved you first."
  • "I never understood what love was really like, but I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes."
  • "Together we're so good, so why are you tearing me apart?"
  • "Did I do something stupid?"
  • "There's gotta be some way to get you to want me like before."
  • "No one ever looked so good in a dress and it hurts cause I know you won't be mine tonight."
  • "You say to everybody that you hate me, couldn't blame you 'cause I know I left you all alone."
  • "I was so stupid for letting you go, but I know you're still the one."
  • "I can't believe that you are here and lying next to me."
  • "I'm just the underdog who finally got the girl."
  • "Somehow you kicked all my walls in."
  • "Should I act so cool like it was no big deal?"
  • "Here's the tragic truth if you don't feel the same, my heart would fall apart if someone said your name."
  • "I hope I'm not a casualty, hope you won't get up and leave."
  • "Might not mean that much to you, but to me it's everything."
  • "Come on over, I don't care if people find out."
  • "They say that we're no good together and it's never gonna work out."
  • "I know you wanna be bad."
  • "Kissed you once now I can't leave."
  • "Everything you do is magic."
  • "Don't try to make me stay."
  • "Heartache doesn't last forever."
  • "Should I see someone else?"
Being Too Normal For Your Own Good
  • Dude: So what are you into?
  • Normal Girl: Eh, you know, work.
  • Dude: Just work? Do you like any music?
  • Normal Girl: Whatever's on the radio, I guess.
  • Dude: Like pop music?
  • Normal Girl: Do they play that on the radio?
  • Dude: It's all they play on the radio.
  • Normal Girl: Oh...
  • Dude: ...
  • Normal Girl: ...
  • Dude: So, do you do anything. Do you have any sort of interests? Hobbies? Likes? Dislikes? Kinks? Anything?
  • Normal Girl: *scratches her head* I like watching TV shows.
  • Dude: ...Yeah?
  • Normal Girl: On NBC.
  • Dude: *gets up from his seat* I think I'll be going now. I only date interesting girls.
  • Normal Girl: Wait, don't go!
  • Dude: What is it?
  • Normal Girl: Bye.
  • Dude: *groans*
  • Normal Girl: *looks around nervously* Gosh, I did it again. I scared off another potential friend. I tried so hard this time? I was even specific about the channel I watch television on. Is it true that I'm too normal? You, waitress!
  • Waitress: *turns around* Me? How may I help you?
  • Normal Girl: What food is served here?
  • Waitress: Pizza and other Italian dishes.
  • Normal Girl: Now ask me what I'd like to eat.
  • Waitress: Uhh, what would like to eat, ma'am.
  • Normal Girl: Just two slices of plain cheese pizza would be fine.
  • Waitress: *giggles under her breath*
  • Normal Girl: Why are you giggling? What's so funny.
  • Waitress: I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just that your order is so, how do I put this, normal.
  • Normal Girl: No, it can't be normal! I need to spice it up! Let me get pepperonis on that pizza.
  • Waitress: Would that be all, ma'am.
  • Normal Girl: Wait, no! Also a soda. A lemon lime soda!
  • Waitress: *guffaws*
  • Normal Girl: What is it now?
  • Waitress: Everything you ordered is so average and reasonable. You must be a very well mannered woman.
  • Normal Girl: There has to be some sort of topping that's so weird that it shatters any notion that I'm normal.
  • Waitress: Really? *cracks an evil smirk* I'm all ears.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Think, you idiot. Think! Think about all of the possible pizza toppings you've ever heard of and just blurt out the weirdest, one. You're a big weirdo. You know you can do it! SO DO IT!
  • Normal Girl: *calmly* I think that'd be all, thank you.
  • Waitress: You're welcome ma'am, your order should be ready in a few minutes.
  • Normal Girl: No! I messed up! Why did I say that? I was trying so hard to think up something weird, but I couldn't do it. Something's not right here.
  • *the restaurant goes deathly quiet*
  • Normal Girl: *looks around confused, leaves the restaurant* Where is everyone. It's so desolate and empty now.
  • Old Crone: *crawls out from out of a sewer drain*
  • Normal Girl: Gross. Who are you?
  • Old Crone: The universe was spun from yarn, dear. Everyone was made with a purpose by the Yarnheart and some people were made to be bastions of stability. You are one of those very stable people.
  • Normal Girl: Thanks for the exposition old lady, but what exactly is going on here.
  • Old Crone: You've been a bore your whole life, dear. You can't just decide to be interesting out of nowhere. Me, I'm very interesting and I want to be boring. You wouldn't believe it from just looking at me, but I'm only twenty seven and I have the stamina of a clydesdale. I live everyday of my life on the fringes of reality. It's so exciting that you might as well say that it's purely terrifying. It's very rare that two opposites such as us are able to meet. Sickly and youthful. Normal and weird. If you want to break away from your normalcy, now is the time to do it.
  • Normal Girl: *glances back the restaurant* I have to pay for my pizza.
  • Old Crone: Forget the damn pizza. *reaches into your her chest and pulls out a ball of yarn* Did you see that? You can do the same. Pull out your heart and trade with me. You can live the life you want to, and I can live mine. This may be our only chance to ever do this.
  • Normal Girl: *sweats nervously* Yeah, but I can't do that without paying for my pizza first. It would be rude. *walks back to the restaurant*
  • Old Crone: I won't let you go! *lunges for the normal girl and pins her to the ground* Give me your heart!
  • Normal Girl: Get off of me you horrible, woman! *knocks away her ball of yarn and it unfurls*
  • Old Crone: Ah, fuck! *poofs into dust*
  • Normal Girl: *wipes herself off* That was weird... I didn't like it. *returns to the restaurant*
  • Waitress: Here you go, ma'am. Two slices of pepperoni pizza and a lemon lime soda.
  • Normal Girl: Thank you, it looks okay-ish. *eats her pizza but feels uncomfortable*
  • Normal Girl: *reaches into her chest and pulls out her heart*
  • Heart: *beats*
  • Normal Girl: Eh, it's just a normal heart. I knew I didn't have a ball of yarn inside of me. Old folks are weird. I hope I don't get like that when I get older. *places her heart and the table and continues eating pizza*
Overheard at Sera's apartment
  • Masumi: Mama, turn on TV, I want to watch Wimbledon.
  • Mary: Masumi, mother's old and weak, turn it yourself.
  • Masumi: You're younger than me right now.
  • Mary: Figures.
  • Masumi: Hey, don't you think something's wrong with Minerva?
  • Mary: *yawn* Have you forgot everything I've taught you?
  • Masumi: Huh?
  • Mary: She's telling something.
  • Masumi: Huh! Maybe morse code? No... Maybe it's backwards? No...
  • Mary: ...It's braille. How can you call yourself a detective?
  • Masumi: Oh! 'HELP'. Oh no, she needs help!
  • Mary: Are you suggesting you'll go there and show your face to everyone?..
  • Masumi: But she needs help! A detective is the one who helps people and I want to be a good detective!
  • Mary: Because of that boy?
  • Masumi: ...maybe. He taught me a lot. Sometimes I'm sad I'll never meet him again. I wonder what he's doing right now. He should be around 16-17 I guess...
  • Conan (on TV): I can help you, Minerva! I'm Holmes apprentice!
  • Mary: ...or not.
  • Masumi: NO WAY.
  • Mary: Why?
  • Masumi: That's impossible.
  • Mary: You think?
  • Masumi: NO WAAAY. IT CAN'T BE.
  • Mary: He looks the same. Speaks the same. Names himself the same.
  • Masumi: STOP IT, MAMA.
  • Mary: Shouldn't you be happy, Masumi?
  • Masumi: What are the odds of TWO people I know given the same weird medicine that shrunk their age?!
  • Mary: Consider yourself lucky (sips tea)
  • Masumi: .......
  • Mary: I think she's broken.
BBC Robin Hood Series II Starters
  • This is an ambush!
  • You don't say.
  • There's poor people going hungry.
  • So what's it gonna be?!
  • Speaking of our lady-leper-friends, time to go and get the pretty one... and her daddy.
  • If they resist, shall I use force?
  • Get up to speed - use force anyway
  • I have a feeling we're not to welcome in the corridors of power at the moment.
  • Come and join my gang.
  • That kiss spoke volumes.
  • Really? That's not what I heard.
  • That's not fair!
  • You just don't get it, do you?
  • You are not weak!
  • Anyway it doesn`t matter to you.
  • You've always been weak
  • Why don't you just jigger off!
  • Ah, the sanctimonious old fart... and her father!
  • I gather you've been careless with your wood fire
  • You know full well that is not the case.
  • We both know that's not true, don't we?
  • Who cares... what you believe in? Hm?
  • I have a plan, and I will not tolerate dissent.
  • So, you are under house arrest, here in the castle, until I can find some use for you.
  • You think you can humiliate a man at the altar? A man like me and get away with it? You're wrong.
  • Who is the Nightwatchman?
  • I'll make sure to kiss him when I see him for stealing from you.
  • That's your real problem isn't it, you need people to love you.
  • What's he doing? Why isn't he running away?
  • There must be a cure, medicine, yes?
  • I'm not strong. I was being you...so you'd notice me...so you'd love me.
  • I love you. I've always loved you.
  • I want him dead. Whatever it takes, I want him dead.
  • It's too dangerous!
  • No! For once, just listen to me!
  • See you on the dark side. Shoot him!
  • Am I to drown in everybody else's incompetence?
  • Stupid too, so you and he should get on.
  • He also has a weakness for gambling.
  • I've taken my bath six months early for a reason!
  • This world is full of idiots, waiting to be parted from their money. But as you know... the house always wins!
  • I don't trust you.
  • If it were me, I would slap your fickle face.
  • Say goodbye.
  • Let him live.
  • He's a noble and a good man. He must be worth more to you than a sack of rocks!
  • I will kill this man.
  • You will be punished for this. Be in no doubt...you'll be punished.
  • You saved my life. I'm grateful.
  • I could not watch you die and do nothing.
  • What have you got for me?
  • So what's your proposal?
  • Someone's impersonating me.
  • YOU... WEASEL-FACED... WHORE'S SON!!!
  • And the funny thing is...you might be telling the truth.
  • And how am I supposed to believe you any more?
  • Don't kill me. Please.
  • Find me somebody to hang! I want to see somebody TWITCH!
  • At least do me the courtesy of knocking.
  • Get your possessions, you're leaving.
  • WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RESIST ME, I'M ATTEMPTING TO HELP YOU?!
  • I have nobody.
  • Humanity is weakness!
  • Oh gag her, for God's sake. She's pretty until she speaks.
  • Little Robin redbreast is about to become fried chicken!
  • I'm surprised you gave in to his demands!
  • If I wanted a wife, I'd have found one with better legs!
  • I'm not coming back, get over it... and for God's sake, change your clothes once in a while
  • She's not coming back. Move on
  • I assure you I haven't given myself to anybody -- yet.
  • I will always believe that there is a chance for you and me.
  • I need to think.
  • Stop thinking. Come home to me!
  • You burned my home to the ground!
  • If I could take that back -- if I could show you the side of me that wants to build a home, not burn it down...
  • I thought I might never see you again.
  • Don't kill anyone unless you have to.
  • Yeah, what's your point?
  • I am the man with a plan
  • If I'm going to die, I'm going to die by your side.
  • Let's find out who you really are!
  • You... don't... speak to me!
  • Why is nothing ever SIMPLE?!
  • You're safe
  • You saved my life.
  • You underestimate me.
  • I have demonstrated my loyalty. Now I would like your blessing.
  • I'll sing at your wedding.
  • Your heart... must be the coldest place on Earth.
  • YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA LET THAT PASS?!?!
  • You'll have to kill me first.
  • No. We're going to get out of this. I'll do this thing. Then I will have power beyond belief. And we will be together.
  • I would rather die, than be with you