I've been following you for a while and I've noticed how much you love Pride and Prejudice. I also love both the book and the 2005 film, but I've always had one pretty serious problem with the storyline. I've never understood why Elizabeth falls for Darcy. I've read the book countless times, seen the film even more than that, and I still don't understand. Why does Elizabeth, a wonderful, bright, independent, and headstrong woman fall in love with a man who has repeatedly shamed her and her
family? And when he attempts to make up for hurting Elizabeth’s feelings, he really only fixes the things HE RUINED in the first place (ie Jane and Bingley’s relationship). Other than that, I still don’t understand why Elizabeth should fall in love with this man. She even states that “only the deepest of loves will persuade me into matrimony”, and Darcy has done nothing to warrant that love besides giving Lydia the money for her marriage. I’ve looked up to Lizzy since I was 11 and I don’t get it
[crackles knuckles] buckle up yall we’re ab to get DEEP into pride and prejudice
ok well first of all thanks for sending me this ask bc i love talking ab p&p as everyone knows.
so ur question: Why does lizzie fall for darcy??????
i like to think about it this way: what would’ve happened if lizzie hadn’t overheard darcy and bingley belittle her at the dance?(there are some rly good fics on this topic btw) how wouldve lizzie and darcy’s relationship progressed differently if lizzie hadn’t been determined to hat e him before they ever really interact? because of their interactions after that hinge on lizzie’s opinion of darcy being set – hes a pompous dick. she decides it. but what if she had greeted him with an open mind like any other new acquaintance? i think she wouldve probably still thought he was awkward and pompous but realized much sooner that there was more to him than that.
because what happens in the book is that while darcy is having this evolution from his prejudiced view of lizzie based on her social status to falling in love with her, lizzie isnt budging from her opinion that darcy is a dick because she hasnt had any positive interactions with him to change that view. when wickham (a guy she literally jUST met and doesnt have any connections with) tells her darcy is an asshole she believes it right away because thats already how she views him.
in short what im saying that they both start out with a predisposition to dislike one another – darcy because lizzie isnt high born and lizzie because she overhears darcy say a mean thing about her. darcy’s opinion changes because he spends time with lizzie (and jane) and sees what great amazing vibrant people they are.
but lizzies opinion of darcy doesnt change except to get WORSE based on what other people tell her. and thats because of one of the central problems in p&p: DARCY IS HORRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING WITH OTHER PEOPLE!!! he cant show his personality to lizzie the same way she does to him because hes so awkward and doesnt know how to act well. i think if darcy didn’t have issues with being around new people lizzie’s opinion of him would change so much more quickly and thats because DARCY IS ACTUALLY A GOOD PERSON!!!!!
the bennets are always like why does bingley who is amazing hang out with darcy who is the worst??? its because darcy is actually a caring and compassionate friend again he just doesnt do well with new people. we see this with how he interacts with georgiana, when the housekeeper at pemberley tells lizzie and her aunt and uncle that darcy is adored by all the staff and everyone in town, etc etc. darcy is a good person – not perfect, he def has lots of faults like pride and prejudice and classism for example – but he just isnt good at showing that thru words.
so what changes lizzies mind??? even if darcy is secretly a good person why would lizzie care after what he did to jane and bingley? well a few very important things happen.
1. lizzie gets the letter from darcy. this letter isnt a 100% fix it situation because he doesnt explain the rude things he says ab her family but it does explain ab wickham and make lizzie feel for him ab that whole situation. it also explained ab jane and bingley and while lizzie doesnt agree w him, it def changes her perspective that darcy is an evil villain who just wanted to cause pain. still, after the letter she mostly feels awkward and guilty and embarrassed but no love.
2. darcy practices. when at rosings lizzie makes fun of how bad darcy is at talking to people and he tells her that its not something that comes naturally to him. lizzie tells him to “take his aunts advice and practice” and when lizzie goes to pemberley its obvious that he hAS BEEN PRACTICING!!!! lizzie notes that he is not at all like how he was when she interacted with him before, and her aunt and uncle are like why did u tell us darcy was such a bad dude?? he rules?? darcy isnt perfect but the point is that he gets better – he learns!!! lizzie teaches him!!!!!! he becomes better – less judgmental, less standoffish because he wanted to better for lizzie.
3. actions speak louder than words. even tho darcy is getting better at talking his actions still speak louder than what he says. the way he interacts with georgiana at pemberley, the way he rescues lydia, the way he convinces bingley to go back to jane. these actions show lizzie that the TRUE person he is and make her realize that hes actually Great.
like if ur thinking ab lizzie and darcy as darcy is an ass why does lizzie change her mind about him i view it differently?? like i think darcy was always a good person who is very suited to lizzie but because of the communication errors (lizzie “willfully misunderstanding” him) and drama that goes on, lizzie doesnt find this out until the end.
because i do think that lizzie and darcy are Very suited for each other. they are SO ALIKE (lizzie says this so cutely at the end of the 2005 version). they are both proud and they both have prejudices. lizzie kind of thinks shes better than everyone else and love to make fun of people and secretly watch their “follies” to get amusement. darcy prefers to be by himself or with a close few because he generally thinks all new people arent really worth his time. they are both really fiery and passionate. and i think they both challenge each other like… when u think ab darcy growing up losing his parents at a young age and being so rich do u think anyone really called him out on his shit in his entire adult life??? no. so when lizzie like dragged his ass thru the dirt it was probably the first time anyone told him that he came off like a total douche. and even tho lizzie makes fun of darcy when he says “my good opinion once lost is lost forever” ISNT THAT EXACTLY WHAT LIZZIE IS LIKE??? she decides she hates darcy and likes wickham and then realizes she was totally wrong about both of them.
they are also both oblivious about their friends’ love lives even though they want whats best for them (im talking ab charlotte for lizzie) and both are really loyal to their families. and yeah, what darcy said ab lizzies family was really really rude but was it different than anything lizzie has said before??? she is constantly getting annoyed/embarrassed by her mom and her sisters. so.
i really think they are soulmates because they bring out the best in one another. they challenge each other and have really different viewpoints and upbringings but the same core values.
i hope this maybe explained a little of why they fall in love??? basically it wasnt about the lydia wickham thing at all but about lizzie Seeing darcy as he truly is.