He is coming again.
Must be around five now. I’m not sure, wish there was a clock in my room. A noise outside. Mommy’s car driving away. A shiver runs down my spine. This is it. Mom is gone again, which means I’m alone with… him. He’ll come. Any moment now. Bastard, I won’t let him. I won’t put up with it anymore.
*He’s gonna hurt you. * Shut your pie hole. If he hurts me again, I’m going to tell.
No you won’t, you never did.
I will too, shut up.
I can hear steps now, right outside the room. Instinctively, I pull the blanket closer to my body. It’s getting hard to breath. Light’s coming from beneath the door and I can see a pair of feet. Then, he knocked.
“Go away! You’re not gonna do anything to me ever again, I hate you, I hate you! Go away!”
He tried to get in but I had blocked the door with a chair.
“Go away! I hate you Joshua, I hate you!”
But the chair wouldn’t hold for long. He kicked the door, it slammed open.
“No!” I wrap myself in blankets. “If you hurt me I’m gonna tell!”
No you won’t.
“Ms. Stevens, nobody is going to hurt you.”
Arms around me. I shake and fight as much as I can.
“Get out! Get out Joshua! I hate you!”
He doesn’t like it when you call him that.
“Ms. Stevens, please!”
“No! You won’t hurt me again! Leave me alone!”
A needle against my neck. My whole body goes numb. He grabs me, the blanket slips to the floor. He is carrying me away when I notice a window. Strange, it wasn’t there before. Outside the window, a man carries an old lady as if she was a rag doll or something. Poor old lady.
That’s not a window.
Shut up. It is too.
“Mr. Stevens, I’m afraid your mom’s condition is deteriorating.”
The doctor looks at me with a mix of sorrow and professionalism. I shake my head in silence, not knowing what to answer. He goes on.
“Her… episodes are getting more violent. She seems to be reviving a traumatic experience on a daily basis, be it real or made up.”
“Isn’t there anything you can do to make her better?”
“I assure you, we are trying. But this is the thing with Alzheimer’s, eventually there’s nothing that can be done anymore. There is one thing, though. Do you know anyone by the name ‘Joshua’?”
That was a strange question.
“Sure, it’s my grandfather’s name. Her dad. Well, stepdad actually. Why?”
“Were there ever traumatic events in your mother’s life, involving this man?”
“No, of course not. I mean, if there were, she never told anyone.”
“I see. We’ll keep you informed, Mr. Stevens. Thank you for your time.”