and that tan jacket

Ten staples that every woman needs in her closet

1. A vast empty hooded cape that you can control with the power of your mind, sending it forth from you to terrify and amaze.

2. A dress that can be whipped off by a bare-chested dancer to reveal another, more sparkly dress underneath, for those occasions when you accidentally find yourself in the Eurovision Song Contest.

3. A formal grappling-hook, for arriving at all the best parties. Make sure to have yours personalised, so that you do not arrive at the party via the same grappling hook as another attendee.

4. A khaki tank top. That is, just the swivelly bit with the gun on. The caterpillar tracks bit is probably too big for a closet but can be stored in a shed or garage until it is needed.

5. A leather jacket tanned from the tattooed hide of the last bull to cross you, as a reminder to other bulls that you will be crossing this field now, thank you very much.

6. Pumps. You will thank me for this recommendation when your boat starts to fill with water. Using buckets to bail is just tedious and may require more crew members than are left after the mutiny.

7. Pencil skirt. Never forget, wear with the pencils facing outwards. Inwards is super-uncomfortable and much less helpful in getting personal space on metro systems.

8. A dragon-proof cardigan.

9. Trousers that can be worn by a horse, in case you should meet a horse that wants trousers or that curse ever comes to fruition.

10. A good book with a light attached, so that on bad days you can just get into the closet and read without having to bother about all that clothes stuff. Make sure not to sit on the pencil skirt.

Cassian, drawn in PS.

[Caption: A realistic digital painting of Cassian Andor from Rogue One. Portrait is from the chest up. Cassian is wearing a sci-fi styled brown jacket over a tan shirt. The jacket has chrome bits attached with the collar flipped up. He has shaggy brown hair, a few days’ scruff, and brown eyes. Soft blue light is coming from the right. The background is deep blue-violet with a glowing blue frame.]

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired  

The Characters of Night Vale, as explained by Troubled Birds

[image description note: all images are from The Minced Mockingbird’s Guide to Troubled Birds, and feature realistically painted birds on top of classical wall paper, with paper quotes on top. Image descriptions have the quote. I’d put what kind of bird it is as well, except I’m horrible with birds. Sorry!]

Cecil:

[image description: I had on my prettiest dress and he never even looked at it. “For God’s sake!” That’s all I could think of to say.]

Carlos:

[image description: The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.]

Kevin:

[image description: Your eyes look tasty.]

Steve Carlsburg:

[image description: The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a form of mild insanity.]

Dana:

[image description: Dealing with you is like herding cats.]

The City Council:

[image description: The drinks came. I wasn’t about to be sobered by anything like regret.]

Station Management: 

[image description: My mating dance is mostly seizures.]

Tamika Flynn: 

[image description: I’m three ounces of whoop-ass.]

Earl:

[image description: Foie gras this, motherfucker!]

Jackie Fiero:

[image description: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense. “You’ll do it?” “Of course,” I replied.]

Diane Crayton:

[image description: He told me that I would never forget him, as long as the two of us would live. His eyes demanded an answer. I had to overcome my desire to laugh.]

Troy:

[image description: He gave them the heebie-jeebies. He had nothing else to give.]

The Man in the Tan Jacket:

[image description: Finally he gathered himself together and spoke. “What the hell?”]

Maureen:

[image description: “This is wonderful!” “This is going to be fine!” “I love this!” I was soon to change my mind, however.]

Chad: 

[image description: A meat cleaver, he thought. “Oh my God!” “Oh my God!” “Oh my God!”]