and that special place is hell

6

“Your humility would disarm the strongest of enemies, and so would your voice. May be it is time I relieve Sigfred of his duties.”

  • The Monarch & The Court Musician AU
Batfam as things my fam has said

Dick: *tells a joke*

*silence*

Dick: Okay, but when it’s about my life, everyone laughs.

——————–

Jason: I’m really trying, and it’s just not working.

Tim: There is no try. Only do.

Jason: I don’t think Star Wars is really going to help me right now.

Tim: *scoffs* Shows what you know.

Dick: You know, I’m proud he got that reference.

——————-

Jason: *messes up*

Bruce: *addresses the younger kids* Okay, he’s older. That means you should all learn from his mistakes or risk being just as much of a fuck-up.

Jason: Dad!

Bruce: *raises an eyebrow*

Jason: *sighs* It’s true.

——————-

Bruce: Okay Tim, you need some sleep.

Tim: You know, I’ve got enough problems in my life without you shoving your mainstream ideals and corporate agendas down my throat.

Bruce: …?

Tim: Yeah, goodnight.

———————

Dick: Okay, but if cotton shirts shrink when they get wet, does that mean sheep shrink when they get wet?

Jason: Bro, sheep produce wool.

Dick: Really?

Jason: Cotton comes from a fucking plant.

Dick: *in a small voice* So…sheep….don’t shrink…..when they get….wet….?

Tim: I think your brain shrinks when it gets wet.

———————–

Damian: *walks into the kitchen at 12:00 a.m.* *sees Dick laying on the table crying*

Damian: So this is adulthood.

*like a month after that*

Damian: *walks into the kitchen late at night again* *sees Jason sitting in front of the fridge just staring while holding a jug of milk*

Damian: Is this like a thing? Does every adult in this family have mental breakdowns in the kitchen late at night?

Bruce: You’ll understand it someday.

Damian: *turns the light on* *sees Bruce sitting on the counter with a single piece of bread*

Damian: What was I born into?

———————–

*at McDonald’s*

Dick and Jason: *get their own food*

Tim and Damian: *have to share*

Damian: Dad, that’s not fair. Why do we have to share?

Jason: Because we’re older, nimrod. We’ve paid our dues.

Dick: Yeah. I’m older than all of you. Dad had to raise me before he knew what the fuck he was doing.

Bruce: Jokes on all of you. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

———————

Jason: *ruins the end of a movie the others haven’t seen*

Dick: You know, there’s a special place in hell for people like you.

Damian: Yeah, it’s this family.

——————–

*at the pediatrician’s*

Bruce and Damian: *waiting for the doctor*

Bruce: *starts opening the cabinets* *finds the latex gloves* *starts stuffing them in his pockets*

Damian: Um, Dad? What are you doing…?

Bruce: I use these when I’m working. I like the ones from my doctor better. These are all meant for small hands.

Damian: Well maybe you shouldn’t be stealing from your son’s pediatrician then—or your doctor for that matter.

Bruce: Maybe your pediatrician shouldn’t have such small hands.

Damian: That is so not the problem with this situation.

(I know Bruce is hella rich, but my fam isn’t. lolol)

——————-

*getting free samples from the store*

Bruce: Okay, Jason take your jacket off and go up there again. She’s elderly and will probably think your someone else.

Jason: *rolls his eyes* *goes anyway*

Dick: Dad, that is horrible.

Bruce: Do you want lunch son? 

Dick: Yes?

Bruce: Okay then. Roll your shorts up, put your hair in a ponytail, and pretend you’re my daughter.

Tim: We’re all going to hell.

———————

Dick, Tim and Jason: *fighting over what movie to watch*

Damian: *gives a suggestion* *gets ignored*

Dick, Tim and Jason: *keep fighting*

Damian: Hello!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *still ignore him* *still fighting*

Damian: I DEMAND ATTENTION, YOU ASSHOLES!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *turn to Damian in shock*

Damian: That’s right. I am capable of speaking. I may be the youngest, but I still exist.

———————-

Jason: Hey, Dick?

Dick: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!

Jason: What’s wrong with him?

Tim: Someone ate all the Lucky Charms.

———————-

Jason: How do you know when a fish is dead?

Dick: That’s an ominous question.

Jason: But like, how do you know?

Dick: I don’t know. Usually if they’re upside down at the top of the water.

Jason: So…laying at the bottom of the bowl all pale and colorless probably means dead, right?

Dick: JASON WHAT DID YOU DO?

Jason: I DON’T KNOW! I think I fed him too much. I mean, he just kept eating. I figured he was just that hungry!

Dick: Damian is going to kill you.

Jason: This is like his fifth fish. How attached could he have been, really?

———————–

Damian: I thought I said that this family was banned from going anywhere near my fish. Why do you all keep killing my pets? Dad freaking swallowed one!

Jason: Wow Dad. I just overfed one. At least I didn’t eat it. 

Bruce: That wasn’t my fault! You shouldn’t be putting them in water bottles!

Damian: I WAS CLEANING HIS BOWL!

———————–

Tim: Why is the world against me?

Damian: Is that rhetorical or would you like me to answer?

———————–

Dick: *wakes up* I really feel like today is going to be a good day.

Dick: *spills his bowl of cereal on himself*

Dick: I’m going to go to bed now.

Bruce: Dick, you just woke up.

Dick: Well the world doesn’t seem to care!

————————

Tim: Can you have a midlife crisis at 17?

Damian: I don’t even think I’ll make it to 17.

Jason: I’m pretty sure I died the day I turned 19.

Dick: I’ve been having a midlife crisis for the past three years.

Tim: So that’s a yes.

————————

Bruce: I miss being young and childless.

Jason: As your child, that’s just so nice to hear.

————————-

Bruce: Why aren’t you in school right now?

Dick: Dad, why does life feel like an endless abyss of self-loathing and humiliation?

Bruce:

Bruce: I’m just going to call and say you have the flu.


TOP 10 Favourite Placements

10. LIBRA MERCURY - they are the best tranquillizers ever, only hearing their voice will soothe you immediately. They make you feel home and peaceful. 

9. VIRGO MERCURY - Overthinkers, but especially intelligent and interesting to communicate with. Calm, but never boring, always know the right thing to say!

8. LEO RISING - their appearance is just worth admiring, they are so beautiful and full of grace, might seem arrogant but only on the outside!

7. GEMINI RISING - restless, funny, smart, playful, charming, basically adorable as hell!!!

6. SAGITTARIUS MERCURY - chatty, always a bunch of interesting things to tell, often cutely lisping, but it only adds charm to their fast talking.

5. CANCER MOON - so caring and selfless, people like them are just waiting to give all of their compassion and love to you, they make you feel so special!

4. TAURUS MARS - These are the people that always know how to act, what to say, what to do at the right moment, in the right place and the right way. They are never dumbing themselves down for anyone, incredibly strong and independent human beings!


3. AQUARIUS VENUS - That one is mine, and I feel like I still need time to get on that AquaVenus level. Those people are the best flirters on Earth, they are provoking and intriguing you to a fault, they have such a unique kind of irresistible charm. They manage to be cocky, flirty but innocent and sweet at the same time. Those cuties are precious to this world!

2. SAGITTARIUS MOON - These people are hyperactive sweethearts! They perfectly combine a careless joyfulness with an incredibly strong feeling of compassion and understanding. Thanks for never being boring, lovely SagMoonies!

1. CAPRICORN VENUS - You may flirt, date, fall in love with different people, but I wish you to end up with a Capricorn Venus. Those people fall in love once and for all, you will never have to worry about them not being faithful, they will give themselves to you, all of them and never take their love away again. They will spend their lives making you happy and protect you, making you feel special as if you are the only person on earth. They only have eyes for you. Marry these sweethearts!

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

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coffee on the starblaster
  • davenport makes coffee for the most part, nothing too fancy.  coffee, sugar,  a splash of milk if they have any.  knocks on everybody’s door when its ready and leaves the pot on so its warm whenever they get around to it.
  • barry makes coffee when davenport doesn’t.  essentially the same but will make it up how you like and bring it to you if you’re working/not out of bed yet if you ask.  likes flavoured creamer in place of milk.
  • lucretia can make coffee but she doesn’t really.  usually working in her journal/sketching/etc and is too focused to exit The Zone to put on a pot. likes hers with lots of milk and no sugar.  whipped cream appreciated. has her own special mug.
  • lup and taako make hell coffee.  they cut the grounds with caffeine pills and magic and put fantasy redbull in the percolator.  they have their own special grounds and nobody really knows whats in it and at this point theyre too afraid to ask. they just drink it like its nothing and will have the whole pot between the two of them every morning. one time magnus accidentally drank from lup’s mug and he just fucking died.  rip magnus burnsides.
  • speaking of magnus, this boy cannot make coffee to save his life.  he doesn’t put a filter in the machine.  sometimes he just puts the grounds in a mug with some water and sticks it in the microwave.  he drinks it black, grounds and all, and thinks its fine. loves the cronch.
  • merle highchurch has perfected the art of coffee but only for special occasions like candlenights.  its a whole production- he grinds the beans himself, has special filters made with plant fibres from back home, etc.  he makes pretty floral designs with the creamer in each mug and tops it  with garnish and whipped cream and syrup and it takes all morning.  its amazing and everybody looks forward to it.
DN Characters as Things my Friends and I Have Said
  • L: There's a special place in hell reserved for you and I'LL SEE YOU THERE
  • Light: Oh hey you know what time it is? *shows me his watch over which he taped a scrap of paper reading TIME TO DIE*
  • Near: I just want to go back to kindergarten were all you have to do is play with toys and clap in a certain pattern life is haaaaard
  • Matt: *turns to me* you know what? just fucking fill me with bull- *sees teacher* balloons! Fill me with balloons! so I can float into the stratosphere and die
  • Mello: hey what'd you get on the test- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Misa: The art teacher tried to tell me black isn't a primary color, but then why do they say other colors are the new black? Doesn't that make it first??
  • Ryuk: Who needs free will and the ability to make your own choices when you can have APPLES?
  • Rem: my existence is a void.
  • Beyond: *hears police sirens* FUCK
  • Naomi: who needs boys? In fact who needs people? Why do people even exist, and where's that asteroid when you need it?
  • Mikami: *literally crying* and he just THREW out his paper in the trash. The FUCKING TRASH. WHAT KIND OF HEATHEN DOESNT EVEN RECYCLE?!?
  • Kiyomi: *imitating overheard conversation* And then she like told me my hair looked dumb and I was like but bitch you're always dumb, whaddup??
  • Matsuda: *walks into exam 15 minutes late* ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS *snaps pencil*
{PART 17} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; As Taehyung finally reveals his creation to you - you find yourself sharing soft, tender and heartfelt moments with both him and Jimin; before being reunited with Jungkook - The Prince and Princess of the Ball.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1} // {Part 16} {Part 17} {Part 18}

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Working with Earth

Originally posted by pizsimokus

Our Earth is beautiful and majestic. There are many ways that you can connect to our beloved world because it is one of the two elements that you can actually touch. I love our Earth, feeling the vibrations going through my body is one hell of an experience. 

Here is a list of different ways to connect to our Earth. 

  • Go outside. Whether you have a special place in your neighborhood, your backyard, or a park; go to that place and sit there. Place your hands on the Earth and feel the heartbeat vibrate through you. 
  • Do yoga outside, with a mat or not (your choice). Let the Earth steady and form you. 
  • Plant a garden. Fill your space and let it flourish. NOTE: Be mindful, plant things that won’t harm your health or others or pets. Do your research. Gardening takes time, patience, and all of your love. You must dedicate yourself. 
  • Take a walk and collect what comes to you. NOTE: Be mindful. Do not collect anything harmful to your health, do your research and keep a notebook or a book on you that can help you identify plants. Only collect items that happen to fall upon your path. Do not pluck, pull, rip, cut. Not only is it disrespecting, it will hurt the plants and not let them grow properly afterwards.
  • Make a special Earth altar, preferably facing North. Fill it with colors of greens and browns, special items you have collected, crystals, rocks, coins, Mother Earth symbols, statues of trees, etc. Anything that is related to Earth. 
  • Make a sigil that means “I connect to my bountiful Earth and protected by her arms.” or something along the lines. (Again, I am not a sigil maker but something I would like to include for others who are) Wear the sigil on you as you go on walk or take hikes.
  • Be respectful to animals. (I feel) they are messengers of the Earth, (I feel) they watch us for a reason. 
  • Talk to the trees. Learn from the wisdom they have to offer. 
  • Research Gnomes, they are protectors of our Earth. NOTE: Like working with any spirit, do your research and be respectful. I don’t have any resources to give with working with Gnomes but here are a couple ways I have personally used. 
    • Leave offerings (like flowers or rocks you have collected in the past or food like bread) inside a tree or under a rock. NOTE: Be careful, make sure you are not disturbing an animals home.  
    • Leave currency (coins) to offer respect for all they have done to keep our Earth stable. NOTE: Make sure you do this somewhere that others won’t steal your offering. Make sure it is hidden where only Gnomes can get to it. EX. under a rock or if you have a backyard have a special place in the corner of your yard for this kind of offering.
    • Be kind to the Earth. Don’t liter, recycle, and show them you are one with the Earth. They care and respect seeing how we can be caring to our Earth.
    • Join a volunteer group that helps to clean up our Earth or make your own group. Check local listing online for your town.

Elements: 

Air
Water 
Fire

Angel in the Darkness pt.5

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (masturbating, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use……(alot of smut comes in later) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 



The bright sunlight behind the curtains, stirs you awake from your deep sleep. There’s a faint smile stretched upon your lips, as you feel as if you’ve had one of the best naps in the longest of times. Your eyes are still closed shut as you try to flex your stiff muscles; only you can’t.

As soon as you tried to lift your arms, you hit something very hard and muscular. Huh? That’s weird. You can also feel that your legs are entangled, and something wrapped around your waist.

You didn’t mind the feeling, as you were still too tired to process things, and because it brought great warmth, but then you heard it; a faint grunt. Your eyes instantly shoot open, and you blush hard when you realize you’re wrapped up into Jungkook.

His face is mere centimeters away from yours, and his eyes are still closed shut, indicating he’s still asleep. You can feel his hot breath, gently tickling your red face, as his hair is all over. You peer downwards and see that his left arm is securely wrapped around your waist, as both of you were laying down on your sides. His long, thick legs were clumsily tangled with yours, and you were finding it hard to breathe since you were so close to him.

OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!?!

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