and that quote made it even longer

Goldilocks || 07

Rated M (language and smut)

Warnings: Masturbation, hand job, fingering, just general cringe worthy stuff

Summary: After getting evicted, your two best friends Jimin and Taehyung offer you a place to stay until you get back on your feet. Needless to say, with a part time job and a mountain of student debt, that’s not happening any time soon. Eventually, they DO become really fond of having you around, helping with chores and even splitting rent. So when you come home one day to find someone has been sleeping in your couch-bed, well… it’s something you won’t take lightly.

Out of context Goldilocks quote:
“Same. I got to eight and a half. Mine’s longer.”

Links to: Goldilocks Masterlist || Previous || Next Part (coming soon)

not my gif, credit to owner

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A/N: OH LOOK THE RATING CHANGED. If you’re someone who doesn’t like smut, asterisk* is where it starts, skip until the *asterisk where it ends. You won’t be missing plot stuff. I made sure of that. 

I also didn’t die editing this. GREAT. I LIVE. Hopefully I’ll be better within the next few days, but thanks again to everyone who sent me get-well-soon wishes! All the love right back at you~ Now, let’s sit back and (hopefully) enjoy 8.7k of this horrid mess.

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

“Tae, where did your pants go?” you yell to be heard over the pounding bass of the music.

He looks down, blinking blankly a couple of times at his boxers, “I honestly don’t know?”

“And where did you get this tie?”

The band of silky material is wrapped firmly around his head like a bandana, both ends trailing down either side of his neck. He tugs at it, bursting into a fit of laughter, “I don’t know that either.”

You can’t help but smile, “Do you know anything? Pabo.”

“I know you’re hot and I’m fucking smashed. Let’s make out.”

Drunk Taehyung is always horny- well, no. That’s inaccurate. Taehyung’s libido in general is ridiculously high. He just manages to be more explicit about it while intoxicated.

“Oh no, we’re not repeating last time.”

“But last time was fun.”

“Do you even remember what happened?”

“Well I mean… maybe… but remind me, baby. You know I’m drunk as fuck. Hell, I’m drunk and I wanna fuck. Hey…you wanna fuck?” Taehyung raises his red solo cup to point at you, then gives it the most innocent of smiles, as if someone had just given him the secret of happiness itself. “Wah, look! Alcohol~”

You easily ignore his advances, knowing there’s no point in trying to reason with him and really, you’ve always found it entertaining to see what new things he’d come up with to persuade girls to let him into their pants, a category that often includes you. Unsuccessfully.

Taehyung is weird in the way that he could be considered a fuckboy. He’s good looking, confident, perpetually horny, and won’t hesitate to have a one night stand. However, he’ll serially hook up with someone if they let him and while you’re sure he’s just in it to get laid, he’s by no means rude or flaky.

Then again, you can’t recall the last time he’s claimed to have a girlfriend either.

“Cheers, babe,” you raise your own glass to haphazardly knock the rims together.

“Happy birthday to our Jiminnie,” Taehyung immediately throws his head back to down the remainder of his drink, but before you can mirror his action, something over his shoulder catches your eye.

A glint of gold.

Keep reading

Don’t blame yourself for the broken pieces, it’s not yours to keep anyway. I’ve done this to myself and I didn’t regret a thing - you; not ever, not even once. You made me yours, you made me your queen and shown me my purpose. We did our best though, to make it all alright, to make it last a little bit longer, but it was never for us and I don’t blame you for that at all.

So I want you to go on with your life, I’m not going to follow you this time. I want you to head at your place, to where you must go, to where you’re meant to go and be with. Do everything to survive and stand, so the next time we cross paths, I can finally see your smile again, for the first and last time.
—  d.r.n
Even in times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. That, my friends, is called surviving. Not healing. We never become whole again … we are survivors. If you are here today… you are a survivor. But those of us who have made it through hell and are still standing? We bare a different name: warriors.
—  Lori Goodwin
I’m starting to wonder if I am made to be in a relationship. I always feel comfortable with some people at the beginning and then at a moment I get exhausted by them. Suddenly it feels like they can’t give me what I need anymore. It’s like I take all I could in them. But the most difficult part is to tell them that we can no longer be together. But even after we broke up, it starts all over again with someone else, because I’m searching for love. A true love, that nobody can give me.
—  Submitted by anonymous
Shape of You - XI

Previously… Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 


Amelia’s POV

Night 1

Owen was gone, he had walked out; he left. That was all that was swarming round my head that night. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t even close my eyes for longer than five minutes. I never made it to bed, I couldn’t bare to fall asleep without him there and without knowing where he was or without knowing when he would be back. If he would ever come back. I tried phoning and texting him, but it all just went straight to voice-mail. I had no idea where he was. I was petrified.

 Night 2

He still wasn’t home. He had made no effort to communicate with me, or even inform me that he was alive. For all I knew he was dead or injured or in danger. The unknown terrified me. It made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I could barely breath without him there.

Keep reading

And these days I have learnt to stop looking back on those days like they were the best of my life. I have learnt to accept that time passes and people change and sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to. And I no longer regret the choices we made or the people we became along the way. Most importantly, I have accepted the path my life has taken, even if it has taken me away from you.
—  f.a.w
2

I made a fakemon last night based on a Church Grim!

Name: Knelgrim / Hakuzu

Classification: Grim Pokemon

Type: Ghost/Ground

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 280 lbs

Ability: Aftermath - Cursed Body - Shadow Tag (HA)

Dex Entry: If a dog-like pokemon is the first to be buried on the grounds of a new graveyard, it’s reborn as a Knelgrim and tasked with guarding the graveyard and leading new spirits to the afterlife.

They’re fiercely dedicated to their new role, never allowing themselves to be captured unless the grounds they’ve been charged with are no longer in use. Even then, it’s not uncommon for them to disappear from their trainer’s side if they sense that their graveyard is in any sort of danger.

The bell floating above the stones on their back rings loudly with each step they take. Though only those who are nearing death are able to hear it.

                                                       IT’S NEVER MUCH

@thedoveofshield

         LITTLE can be labeled surprising in terms of HER any longer, even the strangest of strange things, even the impossible. For, truly, she IS the definition of impossible, the offspring of one and two improbabilities of nature, the playfulness of life’s mysteries. This is why he can only incline his chin in some oddity of UNDERSTANDING when his theories become reality, although more formulated than he can provide.

         These things, in some ways, made sense. Life cannot be GIVEN without being TAKEN from somewhere else– much the same in the truth that energy can not be created but only transferred.

         "You must give something for the sake of others; the body cannot simply uncover pockets of strength and energy.“ There is little of anything like true SYMPATHY in eyes that would rather express curiosity in the wake of death’s STALKING, and they draw about her with notable mention.

         "I suppose your healing me those months ago only helped you along to your death as well.”

(( from here ))

I’m a little softer around the edges,
my cheeks a little fuller, my jaw a little less defined and my arms a little rounder.
I’m a little fuller around the edges,
my hips a little plumper, my curves a little less pronounced and my stomach a little chubbier.
I’ve always been a little skeptical of my body,
never could I love it fully.
20 years young and I never wore shorts outside the house,
after all, my knees aren’t lean and my thighs don’t have a gap in-between.
Almost 21 years along, I never wore dresses that weren’t supposed to be worn by my “body type” no matter how much I wanted to.
So summer came and summer went,
I sucked in my stomach a little more.
Winter came and winter went,
I let myself be cold instead of layering up for the fear of looking fatter.
Summer came and summer went,
always so afraid of wearing swims suits to the pool.
Winter came and winter went,
I could never stand to look at myself naked in a full-length mirror.
Summer came and summer went again,
never could stand to let my boyfriend see my body without covers to hide behind.
Winter came and winter went again,
why aren’t I losing more weight when I’ve cut down my diet?
Late one winter night I thought to myself,
when did my worth come to be measured in the size of my waist and how pronounced the curves in my body were?
when did I bow down so low in front of the society’s ideals of how beautiful my body was, or more strongly, how beautiful my body wasn’t?
When the summer came this year,
I made a promise to the sun that I would no longer suffocate my legs in black jeans, that I would wear shorts if it were hot outside even if the boy down the street points out the flaws of my thighs.
I made a promise to my younger self that I won’t hide behind covers any longer, that I would show the love of my life how my body was inevitably softer and fuller even if it meant a few moments of nerve wreaking anxiety.
I made a promise to myself that loving my body was more important than society judging it.
—  excerpts from a book i’ll never write #22 // a.b
This is my Fibromyalgia Awareness Day "manifesto".

That I posted on Facebook. And I have had many surprisingly positive reactions to it:

Today is Fibromyalgia awareness day. So, instead of putting on the same ‘ol “it doesn’t bother me too much” face that I like to wear 365 days of the year, I’m gonna break tradition and lower it to 364 days a year by telling you a thing:
I started having symptoms when I was 9. 9 years old. My age was still in single digits when I started having unexplained pain, insomnia and getting tired easily. When I hurt myself (as children are wont to do), the pain for the first few moments would feel fucking unbearable (and still does). Family would then feel the best response to my heightened pain was to yell at me for “overreacting”.
“The way you screamed, I thought someone had shot you!” Well, maybe because it FUCKING FELT LIKE SOMEONE HAD SHOT ME. At least for the first 30 seconds or so.
I went from perfect attendance in 3rd grade to almost failing a few grading periods in 4th due to poor attendance. Siblings and grandparents told my Dad to stop letting me get away with “faking it”.
After that, the only thing that he let me stay home for was a temperature of 104.
No one believed me when I told them I was in pain.
“It’s just growing pains!” “All those backflips you do in the yard, no wonder you are sore today.” “Maybe if you went to bed earlier you would feel better.” “If you can’t fall asleep it’s your own fault.” “Everyone has pain sometimes.”
Thanks to all of the brushing off and trivialization of my pain and insomnia, I grew up thinking everyone had just as much pain, fatigue, and trouble sleeping as I did, but they were just better than I was at dealing with it. I mean, everyone feels like their toe got fucking cut the fuck off when they stub it, right? Just they don’t feel the need to make a thing out of it. I mean, whatever. Everyone gets nauseated in the morning if they sleep less than 10 hours, right? They just swallow that upchuck down and keep on trucking, don’t they? No one else hovers over the toilet when they feel like they’re gonna barf.
Oh, that bone-deep exhaustion that everyone feels during the day (every single day)? The kind that feels like you haven’t slept in 4 days? Everyone else just muscles through and is able to concentrate in school or at work. I just fail at life for not being able to do what they do, amirite or amirite? And let’s not forget that EVERYONE has almost passed out after unloading a dishwasher. I mean, what the fuck is my problem with that?
So, anyway, I hope you’re all still with me so far because here comes the important part:
Since I’ve had to deal with people treating me like an asshole loser for most of my life just because I’ve been lucky enough to be struck by a poorly understood illness (twice now!) , I’ve made the decision that I will no longer tolerate anyone being an asshole to me about it or making me feel less like a human, or less valuable to society because of it.
If anyone, no matter who you are, how long we’ve known each other or been friends, does any of these things to me again, we are, to quote Tom Haverford, “dunzo”.
Call me a “bum” (even as a joke, that shit really fucking hurts, guys) because I don’t currently have to get up early and go to a place for my job? Dunzo.
Tell me it’s all in my head? Dunzo.
Tell me it can’t POSSIBLY be as bad as all that? Dunzo.
Tell me something that a medical professional has diagnosed me with is “bullshit” after I trusted you with that information? Fucking dunzo.
Tell me either of my chronic illnesses are “just an excuse not to do anything/be lazy”? Dunzo. Especially this. None of you are doctors. And even if you were, none of you would have ever seen, tested or treated me. So let me assure you: my illnesses are a whole lot more real than anyone’s imaginary medical expertise. And also more real than the “expertise” of certain doctors that just don’t keep up with current research.
And for the love of God, please don’t fucking tell me I’m “lucky” I don’t have to work. While yes, I am lucky that I don’t have to do some exhausting menial job that drains every ounce of energy I have just to be able to feed myself, I had actual career ambitions that I was really excited about. I wanted to be a microbiologist, not a housewife that needs robots to help keep the floors clean because sweeping and mopping are brutal on my shoulders.
I want so badly to be working in a lab and not have my cognitive issues (dubbed 'brain fog’ by fibro sufferers) endanger me or those around me. You don’t exactly want to forget what you’re doing in the middle of working with dangerous or even potentially dangerous microbes. Or, you know, drop anything. Or even fuck up research by forgetting to record or not properly record data. Ever try to use a pipetman when hypoglycemia type symptoms make your hands all shaky? Pretty lulzy. So please, don’t say that to me when you have completed your degrees and are working in the career field of your choice. It’s a bit like rubbing salt in wounds.
I think that pretty much covers my “line in the sand”. So thanks for reading/listening. And since I find it difficult to be this negative and bitchy for very long, I will say this:
I am so, SO lucky to have great friends. And such a wonderful, supportive husband that appreciates the work I do to keep myself, him, and our dogs healthy, the house super nice and clean, and the difficult task of trying to do as much as possible every day without OVERdoing it.
And to my fellow spoonies: you guys are amazing and so strong. You are fucking badasses for even getting out of bed when you feel like you’ve been smashed by a MAC truck. Normal people wouldn’t know what to do if they had to deal with what you deal with daily for a single god damned day.
For everyone that has given even a few fucks about my struggle and disappointments, I really, really appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.

anonymous asked:

I want an epik high tattoo but I'm having a hard time deciding on the quote/lyrics. What do you suggest?? I want something with a deep meaning~... I love this blog BTW..

hmm considering that it’s a tattoo, i’m not sure if you would want one of their longer quotes/lyrics. 

  • Thank you for breathing // the reason why i would pick this is because it’s one of tablo’s signatures/yrics that he used that carries a deep meaning. through this signature/lyric, it really saved me. it made me really rethink– that there was someone who is glad or even relieved that i’m still breathing. its as if someone acknowledges my hardships and encourages me to keep doing so. i think this quote is short and to the point.
  • Maybe your starting line was supposed to be your finish line. Don’t be afraid to walk backwards // this is honestly one of my favourite quotes of all. epik high has always been a source of strength for me. through their lyrics, i’m able to think in different ways, and in ways that i didn’t think of. everyone is always pushing further, but epik high says to wait. to backtrack; and maybe you’ll find what you are seeking; maybe it’s right in front of your nose– back in the beginning.
  • We stopped checking under the bed for monsters when we realized
    they were inside of us
     // this was said during one of EH’s 99 album tours, but it is also a quote made famous by joker. this quote has a darker meaning, but it makes me personally contemplate society today and what has become of it and ultimately helps me realize that we can start making a better society through just one person.

this is becoming a really long post, so if you don’t like these quotes, feel free to ask again, or go down my blog looking for quotes! thanks– i really liked this ask– it made me think deeply on some quotes and lyrics.

-jon

I still think about you every now and then and wonder about what we once use to be. Never did I see us breaking each other to pieces when we had so much love from the very start. Inside I have this pain that never seems to go away and it only gets worse day after day. Somedays I wonder if I should call you to see how your doing and I wonder if I ever cross your mind even though your a busy person. Maybe we took things a little too fast and the bumps on the road were what ruined us. Things changed faster than the seasons we revolve our lives around and I lost you so fast that I questioned if love was meant to hurt this much. And I don’t blame you for that time you ran to another soul in hopes of being loved only to find out that soul didn’t love you the same way I did. You broke me so deep that even though you apologized part of me could never be repaired again even with your love. But how I hope you can find someone who loves you more than I did and who can do all the things I never could do so that you would have stayed even if just for another moment. I can’t promise you that you will forget my name and it might hurt every time you think of me no matter how much time passes, but promise me you’ll love yourself because in my eyes you were flawless. And it’s okay to get excited and run into a crowd if you think you see my face, and that you think of me of rainy days because I was the one who always picked you up. Just remember that when I’m no longer around its okay to let your thoughts wonder even if it hurts as to why something so beautiful yet painful had to break us apart…
—  baefiveoneoh (Feb 16, 2015 we made so many promises..)

England, climbing the stairs: Oh my God! So many stairs! I’d like to find whoever invented the stairs, and push him down these stairs, just to show him how stupid stairs are! Then his legs will be broken, and he will no longer be able to climb the stairs any more! It’ll be ironic, and then his wife will leave him and go be with the man who invented the elevator, because everyone knows that elevators are much sexier than stairs, and oh my God, I’m not even close to being at the top yet, why are there so many stairs?!?!?!

Try not to overthink things.  I know, it’s hard.  I do it all the time.  But if you keep analyzing and reanalyzing every word someone said, every action they made at a certain moment, you’re going to give yourself the wrong idea.  You’ll overthink so much that what you think isn’t even true.  Don’t worry about it.  The answer will come to you eventually.  Just live in the moment.  Don’t suspend it longer than it needs to.
—  e.anne.j

“I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth.”

When I first started getting close to you, I only showed you the best of me. I never showed you the side of me, the real one at 3am when everyone is asleep. I only incorporated happy things into our conversations, never ever sad things. And then a year passes by, I get even more sadder and it’s hard for me to hide it. You’ll know whether I’m okay or not by my tweets. Our conversations started getting sadder. You were the only person who could make my day alright or put a smile on my face with your happiness. And then after awhile, you started to get sad also. I could no longer go to you for emotional support. I tried my best to be there for you but you always end up keeping your problems to yourself. Whenever you were sad, it affected me. I remembered crying when you had a sad day because all I wanted was for you to be okay. I forced my own happiness because I didn’t want you to worry about me. I didn’t want for you to be sadder than you already were. So I kept my problems to myself. I could trick every single one around me into thinking that I was okay, even you. But, I could never fool myself. Then you slowly stopped asking how I was. You slowly stopped making effort. You slowly stopped talking to me. That’s when I knew I had lost you. Thank you for the memories, thank you for all the times you made me smile when I didn’t know how to. For all the times you made me feel alive even when I didn’t want to. But it has come to the point where you no longer are able to do that anymore. I’m sorry for poisoning your happy mind with my sadness. I’m sorry you had to meet me. I was nothing but trouble.
–n.f.b.s, the dangers of putting your happiness in someone else’s hands.

5sos Imagine - Cheater {Calum} [Requested]

Request - Anon: Hi, could you please make me an imagine wherein Calum cheated on me, regrets it so much, does everything he could to get me back, but I always deny him?

Of course love! I’m so sorry this took so long, I’ve literally made at least four drafts of this; this was the only one I liked. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to end up back together with him or not, so I just guessed not? You said you always deny him so I just took that to mean a ‘feisty ex always refusing him’ kind of thing, ya know? But I hope you enjoy it! Let me know if you don’t, if you want to end up with him or something, I’ll tweak it and stuff. No big deal. xx

Link to my masterlist - x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

C A L U M - 

It was a painful experience; one you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. You’d walked in to see your boyfriend all over another girl, all but forgotten about you, the quote-on-quote “love of his life.” It would take a while for you to forgive him, even longer to forgive yourself. Not only did the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you create a small flame of anger inside of you, it made your question what was wrong with yourself. What was so bad about you that Calum had to sneak around with some other girl for who knows how long? Were you too fat? Were you too much of a prude for him? You didn’t have sex with him every night; should you have? Is that what went wrong? Maybe you weren’t pretty enough for him. Maybe he got bored of you. 

Your mind fluttered back to that one night, beneath the stars, wrapped in a blanket as the two of you held each other and basked in the company. He wanted to be spontaneous; he had taken you out for a drive to the middle of nowhere, with a beautiful clearing, beautiful enough to watch the stars and tell you he loved you.

I’d never leave you,” He’d said. “I love you, babe. And for as long as you love me, we’ll be together.“ It was almost textbook romantic. You were just waiting for someone in the background to call out "Cut!”

But, then your mind flicked back to that same image - him on top of her, telling her the same things he would tell you in bed. Like you weren’t anything special; just another girl. Just another girl that’d given him everything. You felt disgusting. He had had sex with her. He had had sex with you. You needed a shower. You would never be clean enough to wash that thought off of your mind.

“Are you okay?” Your friend asked you. She’d come over after you called her, asking for a day out to just forget that Calum even existed. Normally, alcohol would be involved with the process, but you were avoiding the nightlife scene out of spite for your ex.

You weren’t necessarily angry at him, the anger had passed as the days went on, you just wanted an explanation. Why would he stoop so low? Why would he sneak around with some other girl? Why didn’t he just tell you, so you didn’t have to find out? You might’ve understood. You wouldn’t have to go through such emotional pain. You could’ve just accepted it, and the two of you could’ve said goodbye mutually. No yelling involved. You could’ve just gone your separate ways because he wasn’t interested in you like that anymore. It would’ve hurt, but it would’ve hurt less than seeing him on top of her like that.

“No.” You sighed, your mind returning back to the real world. She pouted and pulled you into a loving hug, and you rested your head on her shoulder. If nothing else,  you needed support right now. You needed to forgive yourself, for not being enough for him. You needed to just let this go. It would pass eventually, given time. 

“He’s a fucking jerk.” Your friend spoke into your shoulder.

“Don’t say that,” You pulled away from the hug. “I still love him." 

"What?” She looked at you, and you sheepishly nodded. “You can’t be serious!” She seemed shocked by your response; as if you were just supposed to forget about it in one night. Calum might’ve been able to throw away your entire relationship like it meant nothing to him, but you couldn’t. You still loved him. You weren’t interested in getting back together anytime soon, but you still loved him. “He cheated on you, (Y/N)." 

"We broke up recently.” You reminded her.

“It’s been a week, (Y/N). Has he even called?” She gave you a pointed look, and you regretfully looked at the floor.

No.

He hadn’t called.

“I’m not going to be over him so soon. Yes, he ch-” You couldn’t manage to say the word. Saying them out loud made them feel all too real. 

Cheater.

He cheated.

He said he loved you, and he turned around, and he cheated on you.

You weren’t enough for him.

He ran to some other girl because she’s better than you’ll ever be.

You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

You weren’t enough.

You’ll never be enough.

Tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you fought them away. Crying wouldn’t solve anything. It’d just make it worse. You remember all the times you would cry, and Calum would always be there to comfort you. And hold you. You didn’t even have to tell him why you were crying; it didn’t matter. If you were upset, Calum would be there for you. He was always there for you.

“He did what he did,” You said, in place. “And I may not forgive him for that, but I’m going to need time to give up on the love we had. He might be able to just toss it in the bin, but,” You paused, staring at the floor instead of your very concerned friend. “But I still love him. I don’t want to, but I can’t change that.”

 ”Here, let’s go out. That’s what you wanted, right? We can go shopping, or go get something to eat, maybe we can stop by this bar I know. My friend owns it, he could totally hook us up with something,” She desperately racked through her head to find out something to get your mind off him. 

“I’m okay,” You said. “Really, I’m alright. I just, I just need some space. Do you, um, do you mind?" 

"No, no, of course not.” She grabbed her coat and her purse. “(Y/N), if you need me, please, don’t hesitate to call. I want to be here for you. I know this is a really hard time for you, and I’m sure I’ll never quite understand what you’re going through, but I’ll do anything to help you through it.” You nodded through her cliche little speech. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” She said. You felt like a child again, always being monitored by your parents. You were being treated like a bomb, about to explode at any second, but who knows when.

You looked to the counter. Your friend had even stopped by Starbucks for you. 

She’s always so thoughtful, and there you went and just kicked her out. You felt bad, but right now you just wanted to be alone. Alone with all your thoughts, trying to process what had happened. You and Calum had broken up so suddenly. It had all happened so suddenly - one minute you were happy with your loving, and caring, and very adorable boyfriend, and the next, you were screaming at him and crying and tell him it was over, and slamming the door shut as you left.

Your flashback ended as a knock sounded at your door. You assumed it was your friend, she’d probably forgotten something. You opened it, only to find your ex-boyfriend standing there, with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” He said. “Can I come in?” He looked miserable. There were bags under his eyes - he hadn’t slept, you gathered. His hair was a mess and hidden inside of a beanie, although a few stray hairs were spilling out. His clothes were wrinkled and you recognised them from the ones that were splayed out on the floor from a few days ago - the ones you’d repeatedly told him to pick up. You didn’t live with Calum officially, but you were almost always over at his flat, enough to forget where the silverware was in your own. The memories of your old life with him made you miss him, even though he was standing right in front of you. But, then again, he wasn’t the same guy he used to be. “Please?" 

His voice broke your train of thought and you frowned. 

"You know there’s this magical thing called a telephone.” You snapped.

"Come on, I just want to talk, please.” The poor guy looked absolutely pitiful, standing on your front stoop like a lost puppy. You wondered relentlessly about what would happen if you let him in. If you let the two of you get back together. If he swore he was sorry and swore it’d never happen again. If he said that you were the only one who could ever make him happy, and you were the only one he could ever love. You wondered if you would believe him. You wondered if the two of you could ever be the same again.

“There’s nothing to say.” You shook your head in frustration.

“No, there’s everything to say, please, I want to apologise, I want to explain myself, I want -" 

"I think you’ve made yourself pretty clear,” You said. “You’ve explained to me that you clearly can’t handle a serious relationship.” You couldn’t help but be a little angry at him. He betrayed you. He used you, like you were just some toy. And then when he got bored of you, he got another toy. A better toy, with bigger boobs and a nicer arse and more experience in the bedroom. She was everything you weren’t. Why were you so jealous of her? Why did she matter so much to you? Why couldn’t you just accept that you and Calum were over and move on? Why couldn’t you just look him in he face and accept that you two would never be the same as you once were? Why did you feel so physically hurt? Like there was a weight on your chest, dragging you down with every breath you took. And it just got worse as you saw your heartbreak in the face, in the form of Calum Hood.

You always used to think you were going to marry him one day.

“(Y/N), come on, don’t be like this…” He mumbled.

“Don’t be like what?” You asked. “Angry? I think I have every right to be angry! You threw it all away, Calum! You threw me away like, like, she was more important to you. We always talked about the future, Calum. We always talked about you and me growing older. Were you just lying? Were you thinking of her naked while you were promising you’d love me forever?” 

”(Y/N), no, please, just - just, can I come in? I want to talk.“ 

"I don’t.” Your voice quivered as you spoke to him. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear what you have to say." 

"Please, I want to fix this." 

"You can’t,” You snapped. “You shattered it. It’s broken now. No use trying to piece it back together, you’ll hurt yourself.” He didn’t respond for a while. He just looked at you. He was clearly a mess. But it had only been one week. Were you really going to be so naive as to forgive him now? Didn’t the two of you need time to process what had went wrong before you started jumping into things again?

“I wouldn’t mind hurting myself, if it was for you." 

"You should’ve thought of that before you hurt me.” 

"Please, let’s just talk.” He said. “Just talk, that’s it. Nothing else. Please. I’m not asking for a second chance, I’m asking for a conversation. Can’t you at least hear me out?" 

You thought about it for a moment. He was right. He wasn’t asking for much. The least you could is hear what he had to say. As painful as it would be, you had nothing to lose from talking to him. 

"Come in.” You spoke, holding the door open for him. He seemed surprised, like he hadn’t actually been expecting you to talk to him. 

“Wh-really?” He said. 

“Don’t make me change my mind,” You warned him. He almost bolted inside your flat. 

“Um, where-” He started.

You wordlessly shut the door and walked over to the couch, patting the seat next to him. 

He raced to take a seat, as if he wasn’t quick enough someone else would take it. You focused your gaze on a spot on your hardwood floors, but you could feel his eyes on you, burning like a torch.

“What took you so long?” You asked him, toying with your skirt, anything to keep your eyes off him. “You didn’t even call.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He said. “I should have.”

After an awkward pause, you cleared your throat. “So, um, what do you want to say?” You asked him, your voice completely altered in volume from a few minutes ago when you were yelling at him as he stood outside. You were quiet now, wondering if you shouldn’t have let him in. Wondering if maybe this was a mistake. You missed him, but you didn’t want him to know that. You didn’t want him to think you were about to forgive him and you could start all over - the two of you were far past that. 

“Well, first, I’m sorry.” He said. “I want, I just want you to know that I really regret what I did. I’m sorry. It was, it was a mistake, in the heat of the moment and-" 

"You don’t have sex on accident,” You mumbled, purely to yourself.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked. You finally turned to look at him.

“You don’t have sex on accident.” You spat at him. “Don’t give me that bullshit - ‘it was in the heat of the moment.’ Do you expect me to believe that?” You asked him. “You don’t have sex on accident! You can’t just accidentally have fallen on top of her and been like ‘oops I’m inside of you now, well gosh golly this is a terribly awkward situation.’” 

"I know, I know,” He said. “It wasn’t an accident. I can’t change what I did, but I at least thought you deserved to know that I’m sorry that I did it. If I could change it, I would. I love you, (Y/N). I know, I made a mistake, but it doesn’t change anything." 

"Calum, it changes everything. You were unfaithful to me.” 

"I’m sorry.” He said. “I am so, so, so, sorry. You don’t understand how torn up I am about this." 

"Calum, it’s been a week. I’m upset, too. But I’m not about to take you back into my life like you didn’t ruin anything. You can’t just fix this, Calum. You can’t just undo what you’ve done. You can’t just apologise to me and hope for everything to work out. It’s not gonna be okay this time, Calum." 

"I know,” He breathed. “I know. I made a stupid mistake. She means nothing to me, (Y/N). She’ll never be you. You, you were perfect. You were everything I didn’t deserve. I loved you. I still love you. And I still want us to work out, I’m not gonna lie, but, I know I can’t just bounce back from this and expect nothing to have been changed.” 

"You realise you threw us away like our two years together meant nothing. And do you realise what position this puts me in? I now have to wonder, every single day, why I wasn’t enough for you. Why you had to go and run off with some other girl because I couldn’t fulfill what you wanted. I have to wonder what the heck is wrong with me, that you couldn’t be faithful to me.” You stopped, to take a breath, and look him in his eyes. They were on the verge of tears. You were hurting him, slapping him in the face with your words. “You realise, don’t you, that by doing this you’ve shown to me that we meant nothing? That by doing this you proved that your boner for her ‘in the moment’ was stronger than any love you’d ever feel for me? That you just threw us in the bin like we were meant to be there all along. And, who knows, maybe we were. Maybe we were just destined for this.”

"Don’t say that, (Y/N).” He said. “Please, I want you to know that none of this is your fault. It’s mine. I made the mistake, please, I don’t want you to be affected by this-”

But I am!“ You yelled. "When will it ever get through that thick skull of yours that your decisions do not only impact you?!” Tears were pouring down your cheeks, the idea of your and Calum’s relationship completely over, smacking you in the face. 

"I’m sorry!” He yelled. “I don’t know what else to say! I’m sorry!" 

"Good to know.” You mumbled. “I hope you have a nice life with her." 

”(Y/N), please-“ 

"Get out.” You shook your head, facing away from him so he didn’t have to see you cry. 

“Wait-" 

"Get. Out." 

"No, wait, please, we can try again," 

"Try again?” You looked at him. “Try again? So you can cheat on me again? So I can constantly wonder where you are all the time? So I can think about all the groupies while you’re on tour and I’m not there, and wonder if you’re fucking them, too?” You shook your head. “No, Calum. We don’t need to try again. I’m not putting myself up for that kind of hurt again.” 

"Please, (Y/N), just hear me out-" 

"There’s nothing left to say, Calum. It’s over.” You pointed to the door. “Get out.”

He looked between you and the door, sighing as he accepted his defeat. 

“I love you.” He said, and you looked down as you heard the door slam behind him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Special thanks to the anon who requested this! I hope you liked it, love xx

when EXO has Tumblr accounts.
  • <b> <b></b> Kai:</b> /posts his nude pics, his porn videos, his smut fics, all PORN/<p><b>Kris:</b> Tumblr is not my style... I'm just gonna create my own website with this URL www.f0rev3rsw4gKR1S.com /goes make it/<p><b>Luhan:</b> /gettiing anon's message/<p><b>Anon:</b> Hey gull your avatar is so kawaii, can I be yours?<p><b>Xiumin:</b> /apparently he's the anon and just sending messages to each other as anons with Luhan in the same room/<p><b>Luhan and Xiumin:</b> /smile flirtatiously to each other/<p><b>D.O:</b> O______O why are there so many derp pics of me here O_____O<p><b>Baekhyun:</b> /posts tutorial videos how to put eyeliners properly/<p><b>Chanyeol:</b> /posts a text/ HEY PEOPLE I JUST MADE A TUMBLR!!! /forever 0 notes because he doesn't even have a follower/<p><b>Lay:</b> /signs in/ What is my password again? /thinking for 1276735 years/ Wait, i've never signed up to Tumblr yet -_-<p><b>Tao:</b> /posts 328473738749649 selcas of him/<p><b>Sehun:</b> Fucking Zitao if you once again shittin your fucking ugly selca on my dash, I'll yehet(cut) your ohorat(balls) and kkaebsong(fry) it on a fucking fireplace and once they cooked I'll hook them in your fucking mouth.<p><b>Suho:</b> /posts a quote/ "Don't ever insult a short man, you'll cry after seeing his kokoro that maybe is longer than his height."<p><b>Chen:</b> /posts EXO members derp pictures excluding his/ /gets 73258346387 followers because of his EXO derp posts/ HUEHUEHEUHEUHEUEHUE<p><p>