and that problem is ancestors

An Early Winter Ritual, Called Samhain in the Celtic Calendar, a Forerunner of Halloween

You will need:

  • A purple candle
  • A clove of garlic next to the candle
  • Photos of deceased relatives you feel are close


Between October 31 and November 2 in the northern hemisphere, and between April 30 and May 2 in the southern hemisphere.

The spell:

Light the candle, saying; “May only goodness and light enter here on this night of the beloved ancestors.”

Blow softly into the candle, saying, “I call my beloved ancestors at this special time to protect and guide me/us, as winter approaches, especially [name those in the photos].”

Hold each photo in turn, speaking the words of love of regret, then saying, “As winter comes near, I carry this fear [name your problem], asking you to advise me or send signs to me.”

Blow out the candle, saying, “Go in peace and blessings.”

You may hear in your mind your deceased relative’s comforting words, sense her presence, or smell her fragrance.

The answer to your dilemma will come in a dream or an unmistakable sign in  your daily life.

Bury the garlic.

- “1001 Spells: The Complete Book of Spells For Every Purpose,” by Cassandra Eason

A word for Kaname Kuran

I was on Youtube listening to OST’s from Vampire Knight when I came across all the hateful comments against Kaname. And this saddens me because Kaname is the very first character in my history of being an otaku to whom I grew very attached too, Makoto Tachibana from Free! being the second. 

I understand that he comes across as a jerk in the anime because he “tries to keep Zero away from Yuuki” when Zero “has had such a bad childhood” and is going to become a Level E and what not, I completely understand why people would hate Kaname from watching the anime. “Zero’s the victim and Kaname’s the bad guy” right? 


If that’s what you think then you don’t know shit about him. You finished both seasons of the anime? You still don’t know shit about him because the anime never showed half the person Kaname is. 

I know, in the anime, he was shown as nothing more than a Yuuki-obsessed, arrogant, overconfident, manipulative, superior pureblood vampire who planned out plot after plot to achieve his goals. Till some point in the manga, this held true, but beyond that, we see just how broken he is. Zero’s not the only one who has things hard. Kaname does as well. And Zero emo-ed throughout the whole series, anyone with eyes could see how troubled he was, regardless anime or manga; but Kaname dealt with his problems alone. He had such a hard time telling even Yuuki what he has to deal with. He planned out everything just so he could protect what he loved most, even if he has to be heartless and cruel at times. And just because he’s dealing with his problems, people hate him for it? “He could be a little nicer.” Would Kaname being nice to Zero be able to persuade Zero to do anything? Would “nice” get through emo Zero’s skull? 

You know, Kaname is so complex that it’s hard even for me to come to his defence. But I guess, it all only comes down to one word, one name: “Yuuki”. Yes, I know, his love for Yuuki appears selfish and possessive, but deep down, aren’t we all like that? We want to be with the person we love, we want the person we love to love us. It’s the most instinctive thing in our hearts. No matter how much we know that love is supposed to be for the happiness of the other, really really really deep down, you’d still feel the desire to be with that person. Kaname is just like that. But even so, he kept Yuuki human for as long as he could, ignoring his own desire. Sure he was also the one who turned Yuuki, but in the end, he also let her be with Zero. To some extent, I understand that Kaname is like me, having a bit of an inferiority complex even though we look like the most confident people in the world. He always thought that Yuuki was happier with Zero, he found it hard to believe if Yuuki was ever truly happy by his side. But even though he’s worried, he has his desire to keep Yuuki with him. So at times, his actions conflict one another. Do you know why? Because he’s in inner turmoil. Why are his actions inconsistent? Because his heart wavers. Does he really want Yuuki to leave him or does he want her by his side? 

Ah… How do I put this…?

Have you ever feel like you’re not worthy of someone but you want to have him or her with you anyway? In my case, I have an inferiority complex when it comes to friendships. I usually feel like a crap-ass friend because I tend to get very possessive and I frequently find myself thinking “you’re my friend, but you seem happier with her”, this sorta feeling, you get? Then I get really down, and I feel like, my friend should just dump me for a better one but at the same time, I want to continue being friends. Am I making sense? 

Anyway, Kaname is something like that. There is this conflict in the heart where you can’t decide whether to “push” or “pull”. Like with this friend of mine, for very frequent periods of time, I would act cold, and ignore her just to push her away, but then, later, I’d warm up just so we could continue being friends because at the end, I’m not ready to let her go yet. 

Saying Kaname is inconsistent… it’s not that his character was written poorly, but rather…it’s a human thing. Sometimes you feel like you’re ready to do something but when it really comes to it, you doubt yourself and you change your course of action. Why Kaname turned her? Because he was starting to believe that maybe he could spend eternity with her. But even then. Kaname never stopped thinking that Yuuki was better as a human. He believed strongly that Yuuki was better living life as a human, but having turned her isn’t something so easily undone. That’s why he had to use other ways to ensure Yuuki could live freely without having to worry about hunters and such. 

When I started watching the series, I believed that Yuuki would end up with Zero, because Kaname was very mysterious and in shoujo, somehow the emo but pitiful character would always end up getting the girl. I think a lot of people may have had the same impression that I had. But the manga developed beautifully. Kaname is one of those rare characters that a series would have, especially shoujo. Like I said, Kaname is very complex, it’s hard to understand him. But this is also why I love Kaname so much. Kaname’s history is the reason behind his character mould. And to fully understand him, you shouldn’t view him as the Night Class’ president, but instead, the Kuran ancestor. 

As the Kuran ancestor, Kaname was quite unlike the Kaname we know at the beginning of the series. He was kind, gentle, and he wanted peace. He wanted humans to be able to protect themselves from vampires, despite being a vampire himself, and worked hard to achieve this. However, having lost the Hooded Woman who gave him a name, who gave him the acceptance when everyone else turned against him, Kaname eventually lost his initial reason for killing as he killed more and more vampires with time. Feeling empty, he decided to let time erase his existence. But he couldn’t even sleep peacefully since Rido awakened him by sacrificing Yuuki’s real brother when he was still an infant. Despite all that, Yuuki took his finger and smiled. At that moment of time, it must have been the only thing to offer him comfort. 

Kaname must have spent his whole life feeling nothing but guilt. Feeling the remorse from not being able to protect the Hooded Woman, the guilt from having caused an innocent child to die, and then having to watch Juuri and Haruka die. Can you imagine? Spending eternity drowned in such guilt? Yuuki was the only thing he had left. Could Kaname possibly not have changed? When he only had Yuuki left. His sole purpose for living. Kaname was so desperate to protect her, change was inevitable. He can’t afford to make mistakes. Nobody was there to help him make it right if there were mistakes. It was an “all or nothing” risk. 

Kaname is far from being overpowered. Though he appears strong, there are things he cannot do, and he has his fears. Even the Kuran ancestor has lingering regrets, and the Kaname whom we know has planned everything since before the series even began, did it all out of fear that he would lose Yuuki. Kaname was fragile since the beginning, it was just clouded by how cold he was. 

The ending, for me, even though it stings my heart, I can’t help but feel like Kaname was finally able to truly let go. He learnt to not grasp onto Yuuki anymore, he learnt to let her go, he learnt to come to terms with the thought that Yuuki would be happy with Zero. 

And all that guilt. I feel like he was able to find his peace when he threw his heart into the furnace. I feel like he was able to do what he initially wanted to do, and lift his remorse of letting the hooded woman sacrifice herself before. I think he went into his slumber, content, knowing that there would be peace. He had achieved his primary dream of bringing peace, he gave Yuuki a happy, free life with Zero where her smile would never fade. The thought of bringing happiness to so many people must have comforted Kaname during his last moments. 

I can’t really label Kaname as “good” or “bad”, because at the end of the day, he’s “only human”. Maybe he’s a vampire, but his heart is still human, and as humans, we make mistakes. We fear. We regret. We change. I’m not saying “Don’t hate Kaname” but rather, don’t hate him for the wrong reasons. It’s hard to speak for him, and I can’t really put my attachment towards him into words either, but it has to be something about him…

maybe it’s his mysterious side,

maybe it’s the way he comes off as the ultimately strong character but really isn’t,

maybe it’s because he’s broken 

that I just have to love Kaname. 

On a side note, I am, in no way, anti-Zero. I may have repeatedly labelled him as emo and pitiful, but I don’t hate the guy. Really .__.

In praxis, ancestor worship is tenable because living descendants are genetically linked to their ancestors and deities, making it possible for Africans to revere and honor their ancestors periodically in personal ways. Therefore, whenever life’s problems become overbearing individuals invoke the names of their loved ones of blessed memory, believing that the ancestors are aware of their problems intimately. In return, the ancestors and deities bless, protect, and influence the affairs of their posterity, as there is no future without the past, that is, the ancestors, and gods and goddesses.
—  Anthony Ephirim-Donkor, “African Religion Defined: A Systematic Study of Ancestor Worship Among the Akan”
City, morning and me.

Finding peace and silence during daytime has become a tough job in this time of fast growing use of technology. Doesn’t matter where one is, he is always gonna face problem because of the noise that machines create. I don’t negate the support and help that machines do to humans but everything has pros and cons. Perchance, silence during daytime will be an anecdote from the past for the future generation and a godly bliss for our ancestors.

It’s a worldwide problem that people are facing especially the peace lovers like me even in the finest city of India, Chandigarh. Traffic comes to optimum level by nine in the morning on the office days. People get up early for household chores. Sound of kids getting ready for school, mothers preparing breakfast and getting working class has to reach office on time, cars blowing horns and till 9 in the morning it becomes

I love silence of weekends especially on the Sundays. It is really pleasing and overwhelming experience of the Sunday mornings. People usually get up late because of their off from the office, kids are always wondering to get a Sunday so that they can complete their wish of sleeping for long and so if everyone has their excuses to get up late in the morning why don’t the moms.

But I prefer a different routine. On the weekdays I sleep till eight or sometimes nine in the morning but on weekends I get up sometimes at half past five or at six or sometimes it goes to seven utmost if I slept too late. I get up early on Sundays because of the silence and inner and outer peace I always meet with. I get up, go straight away to the balcony and just keep staring at the sun, trees, birds, sky and I found myself lost in a whole new world. On some days, I go the lake that is on a run of a few kilometers and the morning pleasure at the lake is just indescribable. It is a perfectly bliss.

Starting the day with a pleasing experience is the first step for a perfect start of the day. This gives countless joy, happiness and peace of mind. It may be music for some or yoga for others but for me it includes to stare at how day takes birth.

I wish you do something different to start your day that gives you pleasure and makes your day a whole lot better.
Keep Smiling😊

thoughts for today as i lay in bed instead of going to work

1. you know a society is dominating you when perseverance becomes something you need to employ on your day to day.

2. you know a society isn’t compatible with your best interest when the consequences and fear of doing something you know your soul needs (like quitting taking on massive amounts of debt for a useless collegiate degree or quitting a job that drains you instead of feeds you) prevents you from doing what’s best for you spiritually. 

3. at some point it becomes disrespectful to our ancestors to look at a problem and come up with a ‘solution’ without consulting people who have already tried to solve that same problem. the problem you’re trying to fix is somebody else’s solution and they’ve probably figured out ways to protect their interests that are so sinister and so complex that you can’t even imagine them so don’t think that you and your singular ideas are enough. go to more practiced and knowledgable hands for guidance. (meet dope people and read books written by dope people you can’t meet).