and that lump in her throat in the last one

So today I had to do my last workout of winter break and I couldn’t move it to tomorrow because I’ll be spending the whole day traveling back to PA. My mom also wanted to run with me one last time before I leave and she only had time to run early this morning. So I ran 8 miles with her at 7am, which I knew would affect my workout later, but I was glad that I got to run with her one more time. Unfortunately it had a pretty big effect on my workout. I couldn’t even get halfway through it, I wasn’t hitting any of the times and the more I did, the more frustrated I got. My legs felt like lead and I got a sad lump in my throat. I’m so mad at myself for giving up on the workout and I’m incredibly sad to be leaving my family. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my emotions off, it’s really exhausting being sad.

one missed call

“Iris I know this is sudden and I know I’m taking your chance away to say anything, or everything but I have to do this. It’s the only way to keep earth safe.

… to keep you safe.”

His voice gives, cracking. The gravity of the situation finally hits home when he envisions never seeing her again.

And he understands why she’s not here. She has a job to do, following her passion chasing leads and uncovering truths but a selfish part of him wants her by his side in these last minutes. For one last kiss. One last touch. One last look.

Instead he’s forced to leave a voice message and pray that in the end his sacrifice for his planet is enough.

He forbids goodbye from leaving his tongue, swallowing it past the lump in his throat, hitching a muted cry in its stead instead. And sighs into the receiver, “I love you Iris. I do, with everything I have, I love you. Please forgive me.”

Don’t Worry About Me

Summary: Jo never died by the claws of hell hounds. She married Dean Winchester instead. Jo and Dean fought evil side by side, they became partners and lovers. Now Dean has to kill Amara himself and it’s time to say goodbye to Jo one last time. 

Author: deanwinchester-af

Pairings: Dean x Jo

Words: 1.5k+

Warnings: ANGST. Spoilers.

Beta: @theerinpage, thanks again love ♥

Song: Don’t Worry About Me

A/N: I’ve always loved the idea of Dean & Jo together, watching the season finale this idea came up to me and I just had to write it. I am going to say sorry in advance cause this is a real agnsty and sad one but I am proud of how it turned out. 


Jo’s lump in her throat grew tighter the more she gave thought into Dean’s selfless, brave and crazy decision to save the world one last time. Sucking her teeth, she laid her shaking body against Baby with crossed arms. Jo had been been holding back her tears since Rowena told Dean he won’t be carrying the bomb, he’s going to be the bomb in order to defeat Amara. Jo tried to talk him out of it but she also respected his decision.

She contemplated  her husband standing in front of his mother’s grave in the company of his brother, Sam. Both wide strong shoulders tense and heads bowed as they talked. Jo knew Sam was also trying to tell Dean he didn’t have to do this. When we all know he’s the only person who would succeed this task.

Dean and Jo had been married for three years now, while being in a relationship for over six years. The thought of settling with a hunter never crossed Dean’s mind, if somebody would ask him six years ago ‘Would you ever settle down with a hunter?’ Dean’s answer would’ve been a straight up ‘No’.  Until he found himself spending more time and hunts with Jo. They worked perfectly as a team, slowly they became partners and trusted each other even more, on and off hunts.

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Under Shadow - Chapter 72

“Go!” Najia shouted.

Shane’s grip tightened on her wrist. “Not without you.”

“Stop arguing with me,” she barked at him. “You’ll die if you stay here.”

“You’ll die,” he shouted.

Najia hesitated and met his gaze. She swallowed hard as she watched Shane. “Jas needs you,” she muttered. “Don’t be selfish.”

“I’m being selfish? I have done nothing but put up with your shit for the last year.”

“Well, now you won’t have to anymore.”

Shane pulled her into him, taking her other wrist in his hand. “Stop it,” he hissed in her ear. “Let’s go.”

Najia pulled herself away from him, her breath caught in her throat. “Shane.” She forced her voice passed the lump in her throat. “This is what has to be done.”

“You’re the one being selfish,” Shane said.

“How in the hell am I being selfish?”

“You keep pushing me away because you think it will make everything easier!”

Najia turned away from his heartbroken gaze. “It would have made this easier,” Najia muttered. “I was trying to do you a favor.”

“I don’t need favors,” Shane hissed. “I can make my own choices. I don’t need you deciding what’s right or wrong for me.”

“Then do it for me,” Najia barked at him.

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It wasn’t a date. Well, it sort’ve was. But only in the sense that they had planned on attending the gala together. At least that was what Gaige continued to tell himself while trying to make one glass of champagne last while he waited for Edythe to arrive. It was a little too late to regret not picking up now, but he wasn’t a fan of standing idly, anxiously, especially in the middle of a crowd. He’d had a few brief chats with others, but his eyes remained tethered to the entrance. And then he saw her, dressed in something that was equal parts flesh and fabric, he politely ended his current conversation in favor of better company.

Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he stopped a waiter that passed by with a tray of champagne, taking a second flute of alcohol before trying to navigate through the crowd without awkwardly bumping into anyone or stepping on any toes. When he finally reached her, he could only offer her a tense smile along with the twinkling glass in his hand. After a moment of scanning his eyes over her body, taking in every little detail that he could, he nipped at his lower lip before finally sighing an earnest greeting. “You look beautiful.”


Bellarke Valentine Fic Week - Day 4: First ‘I love you’ AU

Read on AO3 
POST 2X12 

                                             I only wanna die alive

                                 Never by the hands of a broken heart

                                  Don’t wanna hear you lie tonight

                              Now that I’ve become who I really am


Bellamy doesn’t recall the last time he had seen her cry - so the sound of soft sniffles completely stops him in his tracks as his hand hovers in front of the tent flap, a lump growing, slowly drying out his throat. Ever since their return from Mount Weather six months ago, what had driven Clarke to become emotionless had been no less than a mystery; at first he had tried to confront her about it, but it seemed like a sore subject - one that she would dismiss without as much as a single word. It hurts him, if he is to be quite honest, to see her like that - her persistent ability to smile suddenly stolen, or hidden considering how much this development had been her own choice, which he thinks it was. Only Clarke could possibly think of doing something like that, and apparently she wanted to stick to it. 

Which is why somehow he concludes that he must have mistaken the sniffles for something else, hesitating a moment before bending down to step inside, not even looking anywhere while saying: “Clarke, we’re leaving in a-“ What cuts Bellamy off is a sob just loud enough for him to register it escaping her mouth, yet she blocks the following by pressing a blanket over her lips. “In an hour…” His eyes widen a little with the low continuation, and he takes the two steps that are required to reach the side of her makeshift bed, crouching to see her face better.

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