and that losing sometimes means winning

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Why It's Important to Recognize That "Moonlight" Was Robbed Of Its Moment
Yes, the "La La Land" team was gracious, but that's not who you should be praising.

This debacle brought into stark relief just exactly how messy it is and will continue to be to make traditionally white institutions more diverse and inclusive. In many cases, it will look like black people coming on stage to take away the very awards that white people presumed they would win and prepared themselves to receive. This is the scary part of what it means for white people to challenge white privilege: it means sometimes they will lose. More than that, it means they will have to endure the humiliation of losing when they were so entirely sure they had won.

Part of what it requires to do the work of diversity is to recognize that there are some moments you simply cannot mess up. This was one of those moments. Although PricewaterhouseCoopers, the accounting firm that oversees the tabulation of Oscars ballots, has taken responsibility for the mix-up, imagine how it feels to the talent of Moonlight to not have had the fullness of their moment. Imagine how the mistake feels to those of us who have rarely seen ourselves represented in the awards ceremony. The carelessness and haphazardness with which Moonlight’s moment was treated is indicative of how institutional racism continues to work, even after people of color have overcome a significant barrier.

Institutional racism is often hard to see because we can’t point to an individual person who had bad intentions. Thus we are often taught to think that structural discrimination isn’t real. But institutional racism isn’t about a single actor or intent; it’s about impact. Sunday night’s comedy of errors is only laughable because it’s an awards show. In the lives of everyday black people, this kind of carelessness shows up when a supervisor fails to celebrate the promotion of a black employee, while the promotion of a white counterpart is the subject of copious congratulation — it may have been an honest oversight, but the impact is harmful. …

Institutional incompetence often demands black civility and gratitude even when an egregious error has occurred. Just because the error was unintentional doesn’t make it any less significant. We have to ask how messed up it is to ask black artists to win in an environment that screams, “There is no place for you!” And we have to acknowledge that while diversity might be about sharing the stage, the work of dismantling white privilege is about the far more challenging task of white people having less access to the stages and awards that they’ve always had. Moonlight’s moment in the sun was well deserved, and it is unfortunate that the messy work of diversity almost eclipsed it out of view.

This debacle brought into stark relief just exactly how messy it is and will continue to be to make traditionally white institutions more diverse and inclusive. In many cases, it will look like black people coming on stage to take away the very awards that white people presumed they would win and prepared themselves to receive. This is the scary part of what it means for white people to challenge white privilege: it means sometimes they will lose. More than that, it means they will have to endure the humiliation of losing when they were so entirely sure they had won.

You know, I can understand the fans who think that the Legends are at least partially at fault for Mick Rory’s betrayal.

I personally disagree with this, but I understand that perspective.

But the fans who have started saying that now they want the Legion to win, the Legends deserve to lose, and so on, really need to think about what they’re saying.

Because essentially, what they are saying is that they would rather cheer for an actual Nazi than people who might have been mean to their favorite character.

(Edited to clarify, I was referring to Legion member Damien Darhk, who we see commanding Nazi forces in Out of Time.)

10 things I learned this week about losing friends

1) losing friends is worse than I thought it would be
2) some friends are like cancer and will kill you just to survive
3) people will harass you no matter how much you apologize
4) sometimes losing a friend is way better than keeping them
5) knowing when you’ve fought as hard as you can and sometimes you just can’t win
6) some people will manipulate you to get what they want, no matter how much you show you love them
7) don’t trust people too much; it’ll come back to haunt you
8) writing someone out of your life is just as hard as it sounds, but that doesn’t mean you have to turn back through the pages and erase the good times
9) if you lose one friend, you’ll probably lose another you met through them
10) listening to music and writing a song helps

—  Just some 2:31 am thoughts that I thought would be good to share
Lily and James dancing

Sorry for any errors…

“I don’t think I can do this anymore” James said frustrated while collapsing on the couch. Lily walked over and sat on his lap. “What do you mean?” She smiled kindly at him and her red hair made her look gorgeous to James. “I…..I….I just don’t think I can handle this war and all this fighting against the evil anymore. And we lose so many men and woman every day that sometimes I think we are about to give up….” he exclaimed and avoided eye contact with his wife. “You are just tired. We have been training hard all week, all you need is to relax. You know better than I that we will win this war and we mustn’t lose hope James. Never!”
On the radio in the kitchen played and old muggle song which Lily knew from her childhood. “Now get up and dance with me instead of digging yourself down in a deep hole” Lily tried and stretched her hand out for James to take it. This made him smile a true smile.
They danced to the slow tones of the music. She rested her head on his shoulder, and both of them just relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company. They were dancing slowly in the middle of their living room in their little cottage in Godric’s Hollow.
The next song was a bit wilder and soon they were both laying laughing on the floor. “ Thank you Lily, you know how to cheer me up. I love you darling” and with that he kissed her on her forehead and she smiled up at him.

Love is sappy and gross and messy. Sometimes it’s waiting in a gas station parking lot at 12:44am because they need to be picked up from a party that they got too drunk at, but love means you don’t mind feeding them fries on the car ride home because you’re just happy you will get to sleep next to them. Love is bumpy and dirty and silly. It’s blowing raspberries on their belly while you watch a movie together and it’s not letting you lose too badly at mini golf because they know you like to win. Love is being thrown in the water from the docks and love is being tucked in at night and love is helping them pick out their outfits in the morning and getting them into their pyjamas when they’re too tired to do it themselves and love is showing up at their house with frozen yogurt when you know they’re too sad to move and feeding it to them spoonful by spoonful on the floor and love is brushing their hair for them when they’re in a bad mood and love is you, love is you, love is you.
—  Aiden  (k.p.k)

songs for doug eiffel // a wolf 359 fanmix

8tracks // playmoss

1.Cream and Bastards Rise // Harvey Danger
[someone has to win and you know what that means / it means someone's gotta lose / it’s probably you, oh whoa ho ho ho]

2.Infinitesimal // Mother Mother
[millions and billions and trillions of stars but I’m down here low / fussing over scars on my soul]

3.Spaceman // The Killers
[and you know I’m fine / but I hear those voices at night sometimes]

4.Rapid Decompression // Against Me!
[take a look at yourself / how can you expect from someone what you won’t do yourself?]

5.X-Kid // Green Day
[and you were searching your soul / and you got lost and out of control / you went over the edge of joking, died of a broken heart!]

6.People II: The Reckoning // AJJ
[the world won’t care whether you live or die / in fucking fact, mrs robinson / they probably hate to see your stupid face]

7.Neon Orange Glimmer Song // the Mountain Goats
[got a friend of mine living in Dallas / and that’s a two days’ drive from here / and I, I am a monster / I can’t believe the thing I’ve done]

8.Nobody Loves You Like Me // Jonathan Coulton
[air in my lungs, a cough and a wheeze / holes in the bellows and blood on the keys / you move along, there’s nothing to see / nobody loves you like me]

9.Space Lullaby // Chris Hadfield
[you say i’ve been away too long / i’m only here, and then i’m gone / but i am coming home to tuck you in to bed]

lovelace // minkowski // all

I feel like people don’t value Bodhi’s intelligence enough.

Bodhi must be actually really smart to be so good at gambling. I mean sure, he loses sometimes but by the time we meet him in rogue one he has people owing him credit and favours and the like so that must mean he’s been winning a lot. So either he’s clever enough to have developed enough tactics to see his bets pay off or he’s really fucking lucky. I’d bet on the former.

In all seriousness, though, I doubt you’d get through to him.

Some people really are just assholes, insulated from the world by their own egos and unwilling to consider that other people aren’t there to bolster their own self-image.  These people…sometimes you can reach them, often you can’t.  There are plenty of people just unaware of what a jerk they are, but somehow I doubt Kevin is going to be one of them–and with people like that, engaging them means they win.

Fighting Kevin won’t help.  Beating Kevin in a race won’t help.  Beating Kevin with a stick would be cathartic, but it wouldn’t help in the long term.  It hurts and it sucks, but you’re better off just…letting it go.  Think of something fun, lose yourself in something joyful.

Also, you don’t know how to drive, and I doubt you could learn enough to beat him in a single night, so there’s also that.

For if human existence is a struggle between men, there must obviously be winners and losers, and government, which is the prize in the struggle and a means for guaranteeing to the victors the results of victory and for perpetuating them, will certainly never fall into the hands of those who lose, whether the struggle is based on physical force, is intellectual, or is in the field of economics. And those who have struggled to win, that is, to secure better conditions for themselves than others enjoy, and to win privileges and power, will certainly not use it to defend the rights of the vanquished and set limits on their own power as well as that of their friends and supporters.
—  Errico Malatesta Anarchy
When you’re little your dad’s your hero and role model. You’d listen whenever he said ‘watch that move or that player’. Then you grow up, spend years in the game and realise that your dad has no f****** idea. He doesn’t even notice half the things that happen out on the pitch. He just sees that we’re winning and says 'we’re playing well’, but sometimes you’re winning and not playing well, whilst other times you’re losing and playing outstanding football.
—  Gerard Pique

I mean, I get that its a ‘young person’ thing. When I was younger I would get in fights over the most ridiculous things all the time. Every little thing was SO important and every petty argument it seemed totally reasonable for me to pick that hill to die on. Fight tooth and nail, sometimes win, sometimes lose but it would matter SO much at the time. And then you promptly forget it days/weeks/months later. 

It’s a perspective thing, I suppose, less life experience makes everything mean a whole lot more. But as you get older, you start to prioritize more. Little things that used to be so important don’t matter much anymore and you just don’t see the need to get into arguments over everything

So I’m not really criticizing, per se. I’m just…giving ‘old people’ advice and saying you just gotta let the little things go. You can’t control everyone, nor should you.