and telling me i should make it

I hate it when you tell people that you are bored and looking for tv shows to fill your time because you are too fatigued to do anything else.  And their response is to argue that you are bored because you are wasting time and you should be more productive.

Take a class!  Engage in a hobby!  Earn money!

Like can you stop trying to make me feel badly about myself for 5 seconds and listen to what I’m saying?  I’m too fatigued to create the new neural pathways needed to actually learn something new.  And I’m too fatigued to make my body work correctly.

But that’s ok because you feel better about yourself for putting me in my place, so at least I’m good for something right?

bellarinarobertso  asked:

Thank you so much for answering my previous ask. I want to tell you the continuation, he is in the same class as me and now his friends are coming and telling me that he's trying to change himself for me. Like he smokes, drinks, does weed and now he's showing up to the library, making class announcements about quitting smoking. I just feel emotionally burdened and further his friends told me that I should support his betterment whatever be the cause and not hinder it. I'm so conflicted.


That is abusive. Full stop, no debate. That is blatant, ugly, disgusting manipulation and it’s exactly a hair’s breadth from becoming full on sexual abuse, as soon as that becomes something you can be perceived as “owing” him for his “betterment.”

If he wants to change himself, neato, everyone has the right to do that, but you don’t owe him shit, you are not an NPC there to reward him for his quest, you are not a prop for him to use in his personal journey, you are not a prize or a support system or anything else at all except a human being with your own wants, needs, and boundaries. His friends are gross and scummy and you need to disengage from them immediately and if he is enabling or encouraging them in any way you need to get far, far away from him too.


theultimateyandere  asked:

Hajimama, ever since my ex boyfriend broke up with me, I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, and feeling suicidal. I would tell my guidance counselors, but they did nothing when I told them that two people were being homophobic to me. And I reported them three times. I've also had trust issues ever since he broke up with me and told me that he never even loved me at all. What should I do?

I’m very sorry to hear that. Do you have the chance of going to a proper therapist? This might sound kinda superficial now, but I think it’s something that will get better with time. Not that that makes it any less awful, but you know… I can imagine that you’d get trust issues from something like that and I think it’s hard to get rid of those. Often people need to learn how to trust people again over a long, long time, so maybe try little steps to achieve that. Like instead of trusting people with your life right away, maybe try to trust them on little things and also try to trust your own gut feeling about stuff so you get some control and security about it as well. 

About the depression and anxiety: I know those bastards and I can only recommend to do stuff, even if you don’t have any energy for it. Try to admit to yourself that you did things well instead of focusing on the bad things (This is really hard, I know, and it needs a lot of conscious thinking and time) For many people it also helps to imagine their depression as a little monster sitting on their shoulder, which they can interact with, like when it’s telling you ‘Everyone would be better off with you dead’ you can reply to the monster ‘You know what, Brandon? Fuck off! No one needs your negativity here’ You know? Also try to make sure to keep up a routine, especially about eating and sleeping. 

Also I’d suggest you try to work with the break up, as in maybe writing down all the feelings you have about it and reflect on everything and why it was like that, so you can, someday let go of it, because that’s an important part of feeling better about a hard situation and feeling better in general. But I’d only suggest that when you’ve gotten a bit more stable, because otherwise that can go wrong very easily.

I hope you get better soon. Just know that I love you and you can always come to me if anything’s wrong (when my ask isn’t open just tag me in a post). Even with these tips, please try to see a professional about it if you can (and not that guidance counselor, they seem like a massive ass). I love you and please take care! I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you!

After all of these years of ingesting more coffee than should probably be legal to survive these classes, I’m now expected to step out into the world and really be an adult. Can I make a place for myself in this society? Will it have me? I don’t know what to expect, and that just sends more shivers down my spine. Tell me, is life really as ‘better’ as I’ve been told it is outside of college? I can only hope so.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: Fear of the unknown. Fear of graduating college— onto bigger “better” things.

naomi-ackerman  asked:

Hello friend! So my friends have decided to hang out this weekend BUT they invited this girl that I absolutely cannot stand. Just being in the same room as her makes me want to scream! If I tell my friends about how I feel it's not like they would uninvite her or anything. Should I hangout with them even though I most likely won't have a good time or just not go?

If the wisest person, the most enlightened person came to you and say: I’ll show the way to peace and how to awaken, if you just spend time with me, would you? Would you take time out of your day to hang out with that person and learn what they had to teach you? That girl is that person. That girl is your teacher and how to love and deal with your anger and frustration is the lesson, peace is the reward, awakening is the reward.

Let her drift away and just be with how she makes you feel. Feel it fully, you don’t have to scream, you can if you like, but feel. Feeling is the most important. Try to get the sense that she is just there and these feelings go are being pulled out of you by her. She is the catalyst for them, she is not the cause.

So, be with her and feel. Yes, your mind will come in and speak, that’s ok, yes it may not be easy, that’s ok too. Honor and respect those things that come up and bring a warm embrace to them. Doing this you’ll be show something new, something will begin to open up and things will start to shift, maybe not right away, bit it will plant a seed. And that seed can grow.

If she is abusing you, you can stand up for yourself, you can always stand up for yourself and if she is abusing you, she isn’t your teacher and you should give her physical space and not be with her.

Take care,


anonymous asked:

Hey guys! How have you been? Okay so I want to audition for SM entertainment. I cant go to the locations they are holding auditions so I'm going to send it through email. I'm going to audition for dance since I currently take dance class, but I don't know what dance to do. Should I do a kpop chorography, make my own, or just use the one in going to learn in dance? And if I make my own, what hip song should I use? Thank you! (please dont tell me its my choice cause I really dont know)

I’d say look at other auditions and go from there! We haven’t auditioned before (cept Xiu) but as much as you say not to say this, it’s really your choice. Our tastes are different than yours and also we don’t work at SM so we won’t know what they’re looking for 😂😂😂😂- Admin Jaefairy

Anyway. Guess who spent 3 hours making a comprehensive chart for Steven Universe that depicts seasonal standpoints and developments as well as major character developments and a few key info dumps. I’ve been introducing a lot of my friends to Steven universe recently and I wanted to be able to skip around without feeling I was gonna die for not going chronologically at all times. Some of this info is opinionated obvi. And I made it in the middle of the night so it’s probably not perfect. I’m still very proud of myself.

anonymous asked:

Wooow (let's say Sole is 18 years old and is insanely pretty) And the companions get truth and have to tell their true feeling for Sole??

What if: Companions confessed their true feelings for F!Sole (For a truth)

Cait: “Ya already know I’m madly in love with ya Sole”

Sole’s reaction:

Codsworth: “Ma’am, I think you should know…that I consider you, My Family!”

Sole’s reaction:

Curie: “Madame… I…you…you make me really nervous s-sometimes, a-and my face usually feels hot when I’m around you…”

Sole’s reaction:

Danse: “……you are being distracting most of the time Soldier… I have a hard time focusing on the mission when you are close to me…”

Sole’s reaction:

Deacon: “Honestly Boss, there’s no one else I’d like to be called Death Bunnies with!”

Sole’s reaction:

Dogmeat: Dogmeat loves you whatever you do!!

Sole’s reaction:

Hancock: “C’mon love, you’re smart enough to know about my impure thoughts!”

Sole’s reaction:

Macready: “Uhh, well… I’m really thankful for what you did for me and Duncan… honestly, you remind me of Lucy…”

Sole’s reaction:

Nick: “I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me…I couldn’t ask for a better partner”

Sole’s reaction:

Piper: “I just consider you my best friend……gah, fine! Maybe something more than that…”

Sole’s reaction:

Preston: “You gave me a reason to live, General. I won’t deny I have feeling for you!”

Sole’s reaction:

Strong: “Strong respect human. Blue human is Strong’s human. Strong protect his human”

Sole’s reaction:

X6-88: “…I think you are mankind’s best hope. I admire your skills, Ma’am”

Sole’s reaction:

Maxson: “I think you make a great Knight. You are all I nee~…ehem, you are all the Brotherhood needs…”

Sole’s reaction:

Gage: “I’ll tell ya now Boss, you are one hell of a chick. Never met anyone more badass than you.”

Sole’s reaction:

Ada: “I find myself respecting you Ma’am. Your power and determination is inspiring!”

Sole’s reaction:

throwback to the last time i saw the mountain goats when i got to talk to john darnielle afterward and teared up telling him about how important his music was to me and how especially “this year” was such an important thing to me only for him to take my hand and tell me how while he might’ve written a song i really cherished it was me who kept going through all the bad times and found things like that to hold on to and pull myself forward and how i should thank myself for making it through and how important that all was to hear from someone who i idolize so much

anonymous asked:

Ever since AO3 decided to shove a boot up my ass and stop sending me notifications or even showing me the chapters you post, I've been creeping on your page. I feel like a stalker but I'll never miss another update

STALK AWAY! Seriously tho AO3’s been making my life hell and it annoys me because so many people don’t know to check my blog to keep up to date, so I’m just sitting here imagining all the people who probably think I stopped updating altogether ;—-; it makes me so sad. Thank you for caring enough about my stories to check in, love.

EDIT: AO3 apparently tells people that they know this is an issue but can’t find anything on their end, so users should “whitelist” the AO3 email address / add it as a contact in their emails to avoid having the emails be filtered as spam/undeliverable.

IDK if this is what’s happening (I doubt SO MANY PEOPLE would have their emails being filtered as spam tbh) but it’s worth trying?

I can’t tell what size I am anymore. I can’t tell if I’m gaining or losing. I constantly feel I get bigger with every bite but I know logically that’s not true. I log my food and it doesn’t seem much once it’s written down, but when I’m eating it feels like so much. My brain feels slower. My skin is terrible. I’m exhausted all the time. I don’t like to feel like this, but I also don’t want to *****. Hoping to go on more runs soon. That should make me feel better.

blu-the-nerd  asked:

Mark said something about something important tomorrow and well guess who has school! Me! Got any ideas on how I can make sure I get the info while I'm in school?

well, if you ever get a free moment, check out his twitter or his youtube channel should he post updates or whatever that’s important there! if you don’t have time, don’t worry! i’m sure the information, once it’s posted, will be there for when you get out of school! 💛 if not, i’m sure anyone in the community can tell you what you missed!


People don’t understand how traumatic bullying can be.
How 10+ years later I still have dreams about what a group of boys did and said
How hearing their words in my head can trigger me and make me relapse
How I feel uncomfortable telling someone “I want to hurt myself” because of something that I ‘should’ have gotten over long ago
And how ashamed I am that they still have an impact on my life.
To anyone who’s been bullied: you are so strong and beautiful, no one can define you, and one day you’ll find peace with what you’ve been through ❤


Omega Yato Completed!

It was a long build (mostly because I took so many breaks and procrastinated). I was really really sad that I messed up the priming and painting process. I should’ve taken more time to do a better type of priming (like gesso). Instead I used wood glue. It made the sword look rough. And that’s a big no when it comes to prop/replica weapons. It’s hard to tell at first because the wood glue does dry clear. The first layer of paint was a disaster. Thankfully, I have an ammmazing friend who helped me through my bitching. I’m happy in the end with how it’s looking. It’s my first time making a weapon! I’ve gotta be more easy on myself. 

The next one will be ten times better! I promise! 

“Some say that when a person prays, he should have his mind on the icon or the words. No. Not the icon nor the words. Let him have his mind in his sinfulness, but with discernment. Many times the devil can cause trouble there too. He’ll tell you that you are sinful to make you despair. You should answer him abruptly, saying: “What’s that to you?” When I want to say that I am a sinner, I will, and not when the devil wishes, because when the devil wishes, he’ll bring me to despair.” Saint Paisios of the Holy Mountain

Dear J,

I don’t know what to do.

You’re so distant. So elusive. You’ve slipped away from me and all I see of you is a ghost of somebody I used to know.

I don’t know if my dreams are trying to tell me the truth or if it’s my fears and anxieties making me get hardly any sleep.

I’m scared you’ll fade away completely. You don’t try to reach out to me. It’s only me trying to grasp a piece of you but as soon as I catch your ghostly hand it slips away like water through my fingers.

Should I let you go? Should I remove myself from your life so that you can go forward undisturbed?

Maybe this is how it was meant to be. A chance meeting, a brief moment of love, a longer period of being in a limbo, and then you getting fed up with me and moving on to someone else. Me, left behind believing I’m never good enough. Parting ways and only keeping the memories.

I don’t know, J. I don’t feel ready to let you go. I’m afraid to lose you, but what if I already have? I still care deeply about you. I still have a shred of hope that somehow it will still work out. I wish I already knew how the future will play out so that I can make the decision now.

I don’t know how long I can do this. I don’t know if I can do this any longer.

I wish you told me yourself. I wish you told me to leave your life so that I know it’s really over.

Still loving you to the marrow of my bones -
Space Girl

Stages of watching the “Not Today” MV

other “Stages of…”(BTS): 1   2   3

my art tag

please do not repost, thank you <3