and tbh this is a lot to handle okay


“Come here,” Levi tells him in a soft voice as he sets his book down.

And Eren goes, of course. He likes clear orders and instructions these days, even though Levi gives them to him in only the gentlest of tones. It’s fuzzy and loud in his head most of the time, and the static in between his ears often makes him forget about things such as eating and bathing and sleeping. Words are difficult, too, and instead of trying to explain how and why he can’t read a clock or operate a stove, he simply lets Levi guide him along.

Things are better now than before, though. As soon as he’s sat down on the couch, Levi begins combing his fingers through his hair, and he could very nearly purr. Levi’s been threatening to cut his hair and tidy it up a little for a while now, but Eren thinks he might have secretly grown fond of it since even now his touch is more reverent than anything.

Levi presses a kiss to his forehead. “You had that look on your face again,” he offers as an explanation, and when Eren only stares at him, goes on, “Like you want some affection but don’t know how to ask for it.”

That’s me all the time, though, Eren thinks and smiles to himself. “I don’t know what you mean,” is what he says out loud, burying his face in the crook of Levi’s neck where it’s quiet and calm and safe.

He feels Levi smile into his hair. “You do like a thing with your eyebrows. It’s quite endearing, makes you look like a puppy or something.”

Mustering up all the indignation he can manage, Eren pokes Levi in the chest lightly. “I do not look like a puppy.”

“You do,” Levi counters, his fingers tracing shapes over Eren’s scalp in a way that makes him feel dizzy. “The long hair only adds to it. Maybe you should keep growing it out, actually, you’re very handsome like that.”

The sound that escapes him resembles something between a gasp and a squeak, and though he’s trying his best to be offended, there’s pleasant warmth rising to his cheeks at those words. “Still. I’m not a puppy,” Eren states, nipping at the skin of Levi’s neck in protest.

“Oh, so you don’t want me to pet you and call you a good boy?” Levi asks, and he sounds so damn smug, like he knows exactly how weak Eren is to kind words and affection in general.

“I didn’t mean that,” Eren huffs, nudging his head to meet Levi’s fingers that have momentarily stopped stroking through his hair. “Keep going.”

Thankfully enough, Levi does just that, letting Eren melt against him. His eyes fall closed as if on their own, the tension bleeding out from his shoulders as Levi rubs his hand over the nape of his neck. It’s still and silent in his head, and as he listens to the steady sound of Levi’s heartbeat, he knows that they’ll be okay.

anonymous asked:

Hi Mary. What do you make of people calling Sarah J Maas' books problematic? I'm new to her works tbh

Hey Nonnie! <3

They’re 100% right. Her books ARE problematic. They’re heavily heterosexual, lack diversity (even though she’s tried including more diversity, but usually it’s background characters or it’s badly handled - see her killing off WoC to further the white characters’ story), she feels the need to pair up all her characters and these relationships often contain what can be considered toxic masculinity, the story in Throne of Glass has gone in a direction I’m not particularly fond of, not to mention that a lot of readers have found the inclusion of rather graphic sex scenes not okay in ToG, which is still marketed as YA. 

I agree with most of the points they make. But I will also admit that I am trash for her books, especially her ACOTAR series - which I kind of think is my all time favourite series and is, imo, better than ToG - better written, better thought out, with a better story altogether. I’ve kind of fallen out of love with ToG, but I still consider Heir of Fire one of her best books. I’ll still read the end of the series, though.

I may be a bad person for loving her books, but I’ve been with them from the beginning. I acknowledge all the issues and agree with them. But I have a soft spot for her stories.

Hugs! <3

Okay I would just like to say that I do stan Valentina but I never went after the other queens sending them death threats bc that’s fucked up. And yes she definitely should’ve said something to her fans to back the fuck off….but I can also understand how that could be overwhelming for her and how it could be hard to handle idk. It’s not her fault that a lot of her fans are legit psycho lol. There are so many people who send death threats online nowadays and that’s so disappointing tbh….but ppl need to realize that the people who are sending these “death threats” are pathetic cowards behind a screen sooooo. The TRUE fans wouldn’t be spreading negativity

I like Val for her aesthetic and in the beginning all of the other queens were saying she wasn’t shit bc she was “new”/the underdog. So when she turned it out on the first few challenges looking all beautiful and amazing and talented and charming (after getting picked LAST) I was like YES BITCH YOU BETTER I support you. I mean….she’s gorgeous….she’s beautiful…..

anonymous asked:

Really sorry to bother you! But could you please rec me some good books with lgbtqia characters? Thank you sweetie :)

yessssss of course!!

  1. the half life trilogy by sally green!! half bad and half wild are out already! angry poc bisexual witchy boy that you can’t help but want to protect tbh. the initial writing style made me go ????? but don’t let that put you off PLEASE bc it’s rly wonderful and deals with so many things (trigger warnings for death, suicide, gore, and a lot more but those are the main things i think?)

  2. the torch keeper trilogy by steven dos santos. again, the first two books (the culling, the sowing) are out already and i’m praying we get the raising soon tbh. amazing books that feel really hunger games (i hate comparing ya dystopian to thg but there are certain similarities. anyway). poc gay main character. this books comes w a lot of trigger warnings as well tbh, going from death to gore and everything in between. 

  3. madeline miller’s the song of achilles. it’s queer iliad fan fiction tbh. prepare to have your heart ripped out. if you know the original story of achilles and patroclus,  but it’s like that only 18 times worse. 

  4. alison bechdel – fun home. this is a graphic novel and idk if you are into that, but it’s honestly so great??? there are a lot of lit references and sometimes it’s hard to catch them all, but tbh it doesn’t really matter because the story is still so good (it’s autobiagraphical but don’t let that stop you tbh) and it’s told in such a beautiful way? (ps also check out the musical once you read it) 

  5. boy meets boy by david levithan. tbh this is the lowkey easy queer ya romance novel we all deserve? it’s rly basic tbh, just boys falling in love, but it’s just nice to read something cute once in a while (though the story deals w more than that as well, but u know) 

  6. kissing the witch, honestly this book honestly. it’s written by emma donoghue and it’s not??? a novel in the tradition sense of the word i guess?? it’s more like a bunch of short stories w a smilar theme? anyway, it’s all retellings of famous fairytales, some of them w a queer twist on it (most of them, i guess). they’re all about women and the language is so so so beautiful, i love it so much. it’s sad but also happy and like………. it touches my soul tbh 

  7. alex london w proxy duology!!!!!! it took me so long to get to proxy lmao but really u should read it!!! it’s again dystopian, with as main character a poc gay cinnamon roll. the sequel to proxy is guardian and honestly i don’t have much to say abt these books except go read them please

  8. the line of beauty by alan hollinghurst. i had to read this book for my queer lit class and at first it was a pain in the ass to get through it lmao. i’ve cursed this book so many times and at one point i wasn’t sure if i’d ever finish it, but in the end i did and it was so worth it……. it’s probably one of my fave books i had to read for that class. the way it’s written is just??? plain poetry??? honestly??? and it deals w homosexuality in the 1980s, but also w racism and classism and the aids crisis and all that. if you have a lot of time and feel like frustrating yourself but also enjoying it, go read it!!! 

  9. the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater. okay tbh i’m not sure how i feel about putting this book on a queer books list but…… well, okay. this book has queer character(s) but the way they’re handled makes me feel kind of…… idk. their queerness is never mentioned and everything is Between The Lines and it’s all so under the radar that i’m just like??? fuck it tbh. but i enjoy these books a lot and all the characters make my heart bleed and i love the relationships so i can’t leave it out either? the books are wonderful in the way they deal w modern magic and friendships and relationships (platonic and romantic) and like, wanting thing and needing things and longing for things etc etc. so i would rec them for those things more than for the queer aspects lmao but anyway a rec is a rec

  10. aristotle and dnate discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin aire saenz. lmao okay confession time, the first time i saw this book  was when it was recced to me by goodreads, and i just looked at it like ??? what kind of fucking title is that??? and scrolled pst it lmao. but then it showed up again and i checked it out and it sounded nice to i bought it and FELL IN LOVE oh my god. don’t let the title foor you. this book is amazing, it’s so tragically beautiful??? but it’s also happy, and it feels so real to me? like nothing about it is fake or made to look differently or influenced in one way or another? it just feels real and raw and i love that about it. the main storyline is two mexican boys living in the 1980s meeting each other, but believe me when i say it’s so much more than that 

  11. lost and found by carolyn parkhurst. the queer aspects of this novel are….. hard to describe lmao. they’re only a small part of the storyline but then again they’re also a p big part? actually let me just copy the blurb of this novel tbh: “What do a suburban mom, her troubled daughter, divorced brothers, former child stars, born-again Christians, and young millionaires have in common? They have all been selected to compete on LOST AND FOUND, a daring new reality show.“ this book will definitely not be everyone’s cup of tea but yknow. 

  12. adaptation duology – malinda lo. ya scifi w a bisexual girl protag. i haven’t read the 2nd book (inheritance) so i can’t say much about that. tbh the pacing of this book felt rly kind of weird sometimes, but yknow. bisexual girl protags are rare so i won’t be picky. i’ll take it. 

  13. rebecca brown – the gifts of the body. again this is more a bunch of shirt stories and they are also hard to explain lmao. the main theme of this book is aids, the protag is a nameless person, a home care worker who helps people w aids. we read their storries and learn about their lives and what happened to them. it was??? surprisingly emotional to me tbh. 

  14. blue is the warmest color by julier maroh. if you’ve seen the movie: don’t let it fool you. the graphic novel is a lot less male gaze-y lmao 

anonymous asked:

Can I request headcanons about what each of the brothers would be like in a relationship? :3c

simple but still a lot to work with.. i like u, anon

ok lets go from youngest to oldest bc totty’s always the last and tbh i feel kinda bad for him

Todomatsu: He’s clingy, but in a subtle way. Like texting you throughout the day to make sure you’re okay. Be sure to keep your phone plugged in, because you two will be texting a lot. Pretty possessive of his S/O and is uncomfortable with them flirting with other people. A huge tease both in bed and just in general. (Tip: Don’t play video games with this man unless you can handle his rage.) Bad on picking up on his S/O’s feelings, and needs them to be able to communicate clearly. He also has The Cutest Laugh. Probably a fast-paced relationship, and him and his S/O would probably need to really click and be able to communicate for it to last long. Just be sure you’re somewhat decent at flirting.

Jyushimatsu: Unpredictable. He really needs somebody with a sense of humor, including in bed. (Honker of titties of all kinds.) Overeager in bed, needs to be reminded about every minute to slow down, especially at first. Adorable cuddle partner, and loudly affectionate. Good at cheering his S/O up with silly jokes and things in the same vein, but is bad at direct comfort and validation. He’s up for literally anything in terms of dates, and if he’s taking his S/O somewhere, it could literally be anywhere. (Usually a semi-local place, but who knows.) His S/O should probably be into sports of some kind, or at least be semi active, because holy shit this boy has no limit to his energy.

Ichimatsu: Very slow-moving relationship. It’s a huge struggle to get him to accept affection of any kind, especially at first. Will either be a very short or very long-lasting relationship, depending on how his S/O handles him pushing them away, especially during depressive episodes. Very loving, though. The best cuddle partner. He is big and soft, which is perfect for Thos Sweet Cuddle Sessions. At one point, he’ll probably just flop in his S/O’s lap and expect them to pet him. (Pro tip: Scratch him behind the ears.) He isn’t big on dates. He prefers to just laze around with his S/O at home. Really kinky and dominant in bed. He’s surprisingly good at helping people cheer up, and has a high amount of empathy for people, especially people with depressive illnesses. Patient when he needs to be.

Choromatsu: Shy, especially about sexual endeavors. Probably perfect for someone who appreciates having time alone, because he needs a lot of time alone, too. A relationship with him would probably require a lot of patience, because it would be very slow-moving. In denial about always wanting things to go his way. S/O would probably need to remind him to think about their feelings as well as his own. Bad at cheering people up, but he makes up for it by being one of the cutest men on planet earth. Shy, bony, very nuzzly and giggly cuddle partner. Bad at dates. Also: “What do you want to do?” x200.

Karamatsu: Extremely open about his feelings if you can decipher his poetry. Very easy to please. Often gets caught up in himself, and needs to be reminded that his S/O has been standing there for like 40 minutes listening to his decorated poetry and really needs a snack or something, jeez. Surprisingly nervous about sexual activity at first. Has a lot of trouble with cheering up his S/O with direct words of comfort, so he usually uses gifts or lavish displays of affection. Likes going out into the city to window shop with his S/O, or maybe going out to eat and playing footsie under the table. Also appreciates a good rooftop stargazing session.

Osomatsu: Very NSFW relationship. Diddling on the daily, probably. He has a lot of trouble communicating emotionally, as well as figuring out what’s appropriate and what’s not. His S/O would probably need to encourage him to communicate with them more often pretty frequently. Needy and clingy. Very possessive of his S/O, and not big on cuddling. He prefers dates that involve chilling out at home and eating snacks. Also can appreciate a movie date. It’s almost supernatural that he always knows just how to cheer up his S/O.

anonymous asked:

You know I totally agree with you that it would have been great to see Eggsy try to reason with Whiskey, but time was kind of running out. We saw that many were nearing the endpoint and needed those drugs as fast as possible. I imagine some probably died if their system couldn’t handle the virus. So Whiskey dying was sad, and I wish it could have been avoided but a lot more than just that talk would need to happen

okay anon i get you but my point is that it didn’t have to be written that way because its not like fictional characters actually have agency of their own

ive talked abt all this before but

1) why not write it so that they put the code in before whiskey shows up tbh? still could have had big final boss fight after whiskey realizes that there’s nothing he can do and attacks them out of rage/desperation. w/o that urgency they could have apprehended him w/o chucking him into the meat grinder

2) at the v least make his death a lil more compelling???? have him hallucinate abt his dead wife and child - make him see his kid instead of eggsy so he pauses which is what gives eggsy and harry the upper hand in the fight???? no shitty quips abt alpha gel after he gets put in the grinder???

3) or u know like ginger who is a smart and capable agent realizes something is off and follows them and comes in as a deux ex machina to save the day which would lead in perfectly with her taking over the whiskey mantle after jack gets demoted/dismissed

4) they could have literally… knocked him out… also what kind of writing is this like harry was super fucked up re: his physical skills and coordination after being brought back from alpha gel amnesia but whiskey - who has just been snapped out of the amnesia can 100% keep up with 2 agents performing at their peak? to the point where their last resort was to murder him via meat grinder because they were having trouble keeping up? that’s just Bad Writing

anonymous asked:

Sorry... Not a pony. Buut, lena luthor and supercorp headcannons(?) ★ ✿

the mere mention of the pony is sufficient:) 

★ - sad headcanon: hahaha, okay, like a LOT of my lena headcanons are sad. the girl’s had a sad life and she needs a 24 hour long hug. but i think the one of the ones i’m most interested in atm are the parallels between herself and lex and kara and clark. i tend to mostly go with the smallville style lex and clark’s relationship as a headcanon for supergirl, and so… lena knew clark? at least vaguely. lena has met superman. lena watched superman try to bring her brother back from the brink, while she was desperately trying to do so herself. and they both failed. not only did they both fail, but superman turned on lex. wether lena thinks it was deserved or not (she does, but he’s still her big brother) she watched superman take him away from her. a little part of lena probably really hates him for that. and then, she meets a girl with the same symbol on her chest. and she’s so Good. and she looks at lena and doesn’t see luthor first, but sees lena. and… that’s what happened with lex? isn’t it? and superman betrayed him. and i think that until lena knows that supergirl is kara (as much she’s totally smart enough to figure it out on her own, i actually really want kara to trust her with it sort of how she did with lucy) i think she’s got the slightest bit of resentment towards supergirl. or, not resentment exactly, but wariness. there’s always this little voice in the back of her head (it sounds like lex) saying that she is a luthor, and she is on her own, and she can’t trust anyone but herself. much less trust a super. and she fights it, she blows up her relationship with her mother and she trust supergirl as much as she can, but she’s always still wary. and i think that when lena finds out, when kara finally trusts her, she freaks out. i think that lena panics and bolts. i think she doesn’t handle it well at all. i think she might have had the slightest of suspicions before kara tells her but shoved them so far down because it can’t be kara. because she can’t trust a super. because if they’re the same person, then lena’s already on her way to becoming her brother. isn’t she? 

✿ - Sex headcanon: umm okay, so. tbh i don’t… usually have a lot of sex headcanons?? for anyone?? it’s just not really my thing. but!! that said, i think that lena actually takes sex pretty seriously. i don’t think that she’s slept with a bunch of women. (she’s slept with one guy, she felt like trying it. she did not enjoy herself.) i think sex makes her feel vulnerable and very exposed and unless she’s really in control of the situation and trusts the person, she just doesn’t do it. (she does however, do a shitton of flirting, and if she’s in the mood, quite a bit of making out.) i think this is also wasn’t always the case. she was rebellious and angry for a bit in her late teens, (she totally 100% made out with girls in her bedroom with the express purpose of shocking lillian. usually, she barely even liked the girl.) and after lionel died, she kinda… went off the rails and did a lot more drinking and sleeping with people than she possibly should have. but her grades suffered, and it got back to lillian, and when lex came home to visit the summer between her freshman and sophomore year, it felt like it used to for the first time in a while. the two of them against the world. and she decided that she didn’t really like that version of herself. she was doing it because it felt like that’s what you do. rich girls party and get fucked up and throw their lives away, it’s all over tv, a lot of kids she grew up with did it. but, truthfully, it was just making her more miserable, so she stopped partying so much. she stopped drinking all together for a long time. and she only slept with one other girl the next three years of school. one who she dated for about four months towards the tail end of her sophomore year before she got her heart broken, viciously. and after that… i think lena really started guarding herself. she’ll definitely still have the very occasional one night stand (we’re talking like, maybe once every three to four years or so) but otherwise, she doesn’t bother unless she’s dating someone, and is totally satisfied with masturbating. 

kara, similarly, i…. kinda headcanon as a virgin. i like the ace kara headcanon a lot, but personally don’t usually go with it in my own the majority of the time. that said, i don’t think that kara really cares about sex all that much, other than like… the fact that she’s yet to have it, and she’s kind of afraid that when she does things will go wrong. because she is so strong, and what if she gets excited and hurts someone? she’s done it before not during sex, during sex would be so bad! because of this, i think she’s realllly conscious about herself and her body at all times on dates and such. her whole “i’m all about consent” line to james, was, perfect and also, i think a bit telling of her thoughts wrt sex and relationships. she knows that physically, she’s pretty much got the upper hand on everyone, so she needs to be aware all of the time. which, must be really fucking stressful. not to mention not really being able to tell people about herself? i don’t think kara has ever truly dated much. i think that blind date in the pilot was an anomaly. she had a terrible crush when she was fourteen and it ended horribly (alex then beat him up. kara still doesn’t know about this.) she gets crushes easily, but i think not much comes from them long term because either kara gets nervous, or things fizzle out when she can’t be honest with them. i think her thing with james was the closest thing she’s had to a boyfriend or girlfriend since college. 

alllll of that (wow, i said i don’t really have sex headcanons and then wrote a damn essay) is to say that i think lena is crazy guarded with kara physically. she flirts with abandon, and she’s falling wayyyyy deeper than she had planned, but she’s also so wary and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. because to her, it always drops. and i think that kara is falling hard for lena, and she is so excited about it, but nervous and inexperienced. i think she is absolutely the one to make the first move. kara kisses lena. kara asks lena to go on a date. kara asks lena to be her girlfriend. kara initiates sex the first time. well, she tries to. i think they both sort of panic and admit what’s going on and laugh their asses off at each other and end up just cuddling and falling asleep. attempt number two is initiated by lena because she has more experience, and she likes being in control in these situations anyway, but…. there is more laughing and this time kara actually falls out of the bed. they makeout and eat potstickers instead. third time is the charm. it blows both their minds. but it’s also really messy, and full of laughter, and lena gets a bruise from where she slammed her forearm into the nightside table accidentally, and thank god that kara’s basically made of steel, because she panics after she thinks that she hurts lena and shoots up into the ceiling and whacks her head way too hard. all the times after that start going better. kara relaxes once she realizes that she isn’t accidentally going to kill lena, lena stops feeling too vulnerable, and they start having a hell of a lot more fun. 

snakesocks  asked:

HEY FAN OF TIM DRAKE one of the things I encounter a lot being sometimes in the dc fandom is that a lot of Tim characterisation is shit? I've been meaning to read some comics and I'd like to read a few with "correct" characterisations before I get used to him being... flat? So do you have any recommendations/favourites that you reckon I should read? Thanks!! (OH and also stuff with Kon... I see so much cute fanart of them and I'd like to know more about their friendship!!)

aha i’m so glad you’re not falling into the fandom tim trap because yeah, a lot of the times his Characterization DOES suck! it’s super disappointing because he’s really interesting and a great character when handled well. :(

but anyways, i’m glad you wanna read some stuff about him! i’m answering this on mobile and it using references so i might get some stuff mixed up. @marbleaide is also a great person to ask! she’s been a tim fan longer than me so she knows the ins and outs haha

okay so!
• stay away from New 52 Tim to start tbh he is just disappointment. his backstory is ruined and his characterization gets pressed down to a few traits.
• like i’m not trying to be biased but i think of all the batboys his reboot characterization was the shittiest overall. (don’t even get me started on the girls)

that being said!! (this isn’t in order of how to read them btw i’m just listing as it comes to mind)

• Red Robin (2009-2011) - probably the best, most concise Tim thing you can pick up to read? I don’t just recommend it because it’s my favorite and the art is amazing (thank you marcus to!!) but because it’s only 26 issues so really don’t have to spend a lot of time or resources reading it. as compared to like, his robin run or detective/batman comics and everything. but chris and fabian both do an AMAZING job with his characterization there! he’s smart, he’s witty, he’s sassy, his internal dialogue shows that he’s actually a giant fucking nerd. it’s really really good ! if you read nothing else tbh just read this.
• A Lonely Place of Dying (1989) - it’s pretty short and it’s about how Tim became Robin so it’s not the worst thing to pick up to have in your mental inventory about Tim’s characterization.
• Identity Crisis (2004-2005) - its not Tim-centric but it’s only 7 issues (?) and there’s some very important events that happen in it and characterize Tim and his relationship with his dad and Bruce so I think it’s worth the quick read.
• Teen Titans Vol 3 (2003-2011) - you don’t have to read every arc but if you’re looking for Tim and Kon shit, this is primarily where you’re gonna find it unless you go back to the old 90’s Young Justice comics. I think Titans Tomorrow and Titans of Tomorrow are good arcs (Tim’s pretty fucked up in the one) and the Life and Death (?) is more Kon-centric if you’re looking for those interactions I haven’t actually read all of these but @marbleaide did recommend them so I take her word
• Robin (1991-2009) - the dates might be off because volumes and yes it’s long af but and i haven’t even read all of it because the art style of the early stuff is just. so bad. But anyways, it’s entirely about Tim. It’s neat to see him evolve too, because he really changes from start to finish.
• Young Justice (1998-2003) The style is fucking ridiculous and I honestly have trouble reading most of the early parts of it because of that but it’s really fun and ridiculous and goofy and Tim has friends !!! Also lots of Tim and Kon interactions if that’s what you’re looking for. Plus 90’s Kon

• Adventure Comics #3 (2009) - takes place within the red robin comics and is entirely Tim and Kon and their friendship. It hurts my heart so good every time so I gotta recommend it.
• Superman/Batman #7/#26 - also some Tim and Kon stuff. Not full arcs, just a couple random issues that focus on them.

That’s……. all I can think of off the top of my head? There’s A LOT with tim drake tbh because he’s been around so long. not all of it is good- a lot of it is just kind of… eh. what I recommended is some of the better known Tim stuff that I think has pretty decent characterization. I know there’s other less Tim-involved arcs that he shows up in and a ton of other places he shows up, but yeah, this is the most “concise” list I can give you!! hope it helps !!

anonymous asked:

"it gets better" sends a real mixed up message, like I expected my mental health to improve as I got older, especially post-highschool. it gets worse every year. that's been a lot of my friend's experiences too. my mom as well. like, sure, crisis isn't a state of being that will be constant but like also... "better" can sound like "perfect" or "healed" and uh tbh I think that's a dangerous expectation bc it can make you disappointed in a pretty okay existence.

I tend to reject “it gets better” in favor of “you get better,” because it may not get better. It may get worse. But you have the ability to get better with time, knowledge, and experience. You can learn how to handle your needs over time. I like that one better. It also puts the power back in your hands. Its active recovery. “It gets better” feels rather passive to me, like its out of your control.

okay so by now you know I ship Judy/Nick, and not surprisingly so do a bunch of other people. I’ve been looking up shipping art of them and I’ve noticed a lot of people are portraying Judy as this flustered docile girl with Nick as the suave seducer, which is fine if that’s your thing, but TBH… I think it’d be the other way around!

Judy clearly knows how to handle herself, she takes charge, she’s confident, I think she’d be the one mercilessly teasing him and then casually going back to her job like nothing happened. Nick meanwhile has been so used to using people that he’s completely thrown off being used himself, and might be the mindset of OH NO SHE MET MY STANDARDS OH NO I FIND HER ATTRACTIVE WHAT DO WHAT DO WHAT DO while struggling to play it cool.

yes i’ve already thought of several short fanfic ideas this is my life now

{ 3:57 am } ;; [ seungcheol. ]

he is tired.

everything seems to happen all at once; he is always on the move, never able to take a moment to relax. he loves his job. he loves his brothers. being the leader is a great role– but there’s a weight on his shoulders and sometimes it’s so heavy that it’s unbearable.


his voice is worn and deeper than usual over the phone; you struggle to fully awaken at first, though your senses become alert when you recognize that something is wrong.


your voice is light and afraid– and he hates that he’s disrupting you. he hates that he’s being inconsiderate and waking you in the late hours, but there’s something in hearing you say his name that almost makes him break down but at the same time feel better.

“i’m sorry for waking you–” he pauses and it’s like everything he wanted to say has completely disappeared from his mind. “sorry.” he says again. because he doesn’t even know why he’s calling anymore.

“it’s alright.” you respond in a gentle tone. there’s such weariness in his voice and you know the moment you hear it that he has a heavy heart. and you know that he wants to tell you everything that’s going on but his thoughts are hazy and he doesn’t want to break– not now. 

but you know that he is put at ease whenever you speak.

“can i tell you about my day?”

he can almost hear the smile on your face and it makes his lips curl slightly– he answers and you tell of your mundane stories that are so normal yet you manage to breathe life into them. he makes small comments here and there and clings to your every word; you can imagine the amusement on his face.

but eventually, he goes completely quiet. his name is spoken softly in a questioning tone and silence is received– only the sound of his breathing fills your ears.

fingers hold the phone tighter and you force a smile despite the yearning that clutches to your heart.

“you’re doing well.” the words are barely above a whisper and it feels too difficult to talk any louder. “you’re working hard every second of your life and i know it isn’t easy– but i know you can handle anything that comes your way.”

a pause–

“i miss you a lot, seungcheol.”

– then the familiar feeling of the unwanted lump in your throat.

“good night.”

and you end the call.

      My first photoshop edit // or my attempt at one anyway o(^・x・^)o


        Okay but yay ~ !  I hit the second big milestone only after a week of having this dork as a muse, even my most popular blog didn’t gain followers this fast. So hey, maybe that’s a good sign that I’m not as terrible at this as I feel. So, as a thanks, have this list of people who have made this one week worth staying around for, without them, I most certainly would not have stuck around.

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