and taste so bad

Hey quick question why does water taste so bad

I’m supposed to drink a shitton of this nasty stuff every day and it tastes like butt someone please explain how people force themselves to drink so much

Also it keeps leaving a gross aftertaste and makes my mouth feel dry after a few minutes. Like. Is that supposed to happen? I feel like it didn’t happen with the water back home. Maybe it’s this nasty city water

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. i’m constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and that’s just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter what’s happening to me, in a way? because i’m already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times i’ll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later. 

What do you call it when people change the gendered words and narrator’s pronouns in songs, even when they mess up the rhyme in the process?

Unnecissary.

Imagine aliens reacting to human eating habits.

For instance, taste. Like, one day an alien notices the human crew member dumping something bright orange on their midday ration.

Alien: Does your supplement not have the right nutrients/?
Human: No, it just tastes bad.
Alien: ????
Human: Well, not precisely bad, but bland. It’s boring. So I thought I’d spice it up a bit. *waves bottle of bright orange substance*
Alien: You add items to your food that provide no necessary sustenance???
Human: Oh, just wait ‘til you hear about junk food.

‘Cause humans eat stuff that is not good just for the sensation. Like really spicy foods, chewing gum, and all these spices. And the aliens don’t get it. You put that in your body? Doesn’t that mess up your digestive system? What purpose does it serve?

Or human eating rituals. If you eat with one group of humans there are all of these utensils, some of which look extremely similar, but each with it’s own unique purpose. And if you don’t use the right one at the right time it’s a social faux pas. Then another group mostly uses their hands and lick their fingers. Does this not introduce pathogens? And you’ll see the same human doing both behaviors.

And there’s the whole concept of a meal as a social endeavor. Humans will have a meal with those they are close with as a sign of affection. Humans don’t even spend the entire meal eating, no they use it to talk. Business is done, friends catch up, families share news. All over a meal.

Aliens considering food a necessity not to be discussed in public. Yet here are these humans, who post pictures of their food to social media, share recipes, use food as a social catalyst, and as comfort. Hell, comfort food as a completely human idea that aliens don’t understand.

Anyway, humans are weird.

THE    FIVE    SENSES     /      SENTENCE    STARTERS  .

  • some   may   be   nsfw   and   /   or   be   triggering.   

01    :     TOUCH .

  • ❝ i love this [ FABRIC ], it feels satisfying. ❞
  • ❝ your touch. it leaves me breathless. ❞
  • ❝ your touch is unlike any other. ❞
  • ​❝ have you ever felt anything more comfortable? ❞
  • ❝ feel this. what does it feel like to you?
  • ❝ i wanted to see what it felt like. ❞
  • ​❝ touch it. i dare you. ❞
  • ​❝ you felt ice cold when i touched you. ❞
  • ​❝ you feel warm to me. ❞
  • ​❝ i love the feel of [ FABRIC ] against my skin. ❞
  • ​❝ i love the feel of your skin against mine. ❞
  • ​❝ i would never touch anyone else. 
  • ​❝ i love the feel of your hair between each of my fingers. ❞
  • ​❝ don’t you dare touch me. ❞
  • ​❝ i want to feel your lips against my own. ❞
  • ​❝ i can feel your pulse. it jumped. ❞
  • ​❝ let me give you a massage. ❞
  • ❝ you feel like home to me. ❞ 

02     :      TASTE .

  • ❝ i love the taste of you. ❞
  • ❝ i can never forget that taste. ❞
  • ❝ fair warning, it does have a bitter taste. ❞
  • ​❝ no offense, you just aren’t my taste. ❞
  • ❝ can i have a taste of that? ❞
  • ❝ i have yearned for the taste of your lips. ❞
  • ​❝ that tasted pretty good actually. ❞
  • ​❝ it just left a really bad taste in my mouth so no thanks. ❞
  • ​❝ nothing taste better than chocolate. ❞
  • ​❝ i’ve got something you might want to taste. ❞
  • ​❝ i will forever savor that taste. ❞
  • ​❝ blood has such a metallic taste.
  • ​❝ my taste buds are mad at me after eating that. ❞
  • ​❝ how’s it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?
  • ​❝ you didn’t even taste it. ❞
  • ​❝ trust me, you’ll want to taste this. ❞
  • ​❝ i think it has a bit of bitter sweet taste. ❞
  • ❝ so you tasted it, did you like it?

03     :      SIGHT .

  • ❝ i see you. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve never seen things so clearer than i do now. ❞
  • ❝ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❞
  • ​❝ how can you see anything? it’s pitch dark. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve looked close enough and i see you for what you are. ❞
  • ❝ please, just look at me. ❞
  • ​❝ stop staring at me like that. ❞
  • ​❝ get that light out of my face. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s so bright outside today. ❞
  • ​❝ what’s wrong? what did you see?
  • ​❝ you’re scared, you must have saw something. ❞
  • ​❝ what i saw, you’ll never believe me. 
  • ​❝ i’ve never seen you before. ❞
  • ​❝ have we seen one another before
  • ​❝ you see me for what i truly am. ❞
  • ​❝ i didn’t see anything. ❞
  • ​❝ did you see that?
  • ❝ i can’t believe my eyes. 

04     :      SOUND .

  • ❝ shhh, i just heard something. ❞
  • ❝ did you hear that?
  • ❝ what is that sound?
  • ​❝ i missed the sound of your voice. ❞
  • ❝ do you hear me? stay away from me. ❞
  • ❝ i hear you, loud and clear. ❞
  • ​❝ i’m sorry, what was that? i didn’t hear you. ❞
  • ​❝ i’ve heard that sound before. ❞
  • ​❝ you didn’t hear anything at all?
  • ​❝ can you hear what they’re saying?
  • ​❝ aw, i love the sound of music. ❞
  • ​❝ i never said i could hear them. 
  • ​❝ wait, hear that? something is coming. ❞
  • ​❝ i could hear screams … ❞
  • ​❝ i heard you all the way upstairs. ❞
  • ​❝ you didn’t just hear that? that sound? that noise?
  • ​❝ trust me, you’re going to want to hear this. ❞
  • ❝ please, just hear me out. 

05     :      SMELL .

  • ❝ what is that smell? ❞
  • ❝ i have missed your smell. ❞
  • ❝ you smell nice. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s unlike anything i’ve smelled before. ❞
  • ❝ i smell the food cooking from here. ❞
  • ❝ do you smell that?
  • ​❝ how are you able to smell that?
  • ​❝ no offense but it really smells. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s starting to smell. ❞
  • ​❝ tell me, you’ve smelled this before. ❞
  • ​❝ i know that smell, it’s the smell of lies. ❞
  • ​❝ i can smell you from here.
  • ​❝ are you smelling me?
  • ​❝ i missed the smell of your hair. ❞
  • ​❝ i need to step away, get some fresh air. ❞
  • ​❝ do you smell that? that’s the smell of freedom. ❞
  • ​❝ i could never erase your smell. ❞
  • ❝ i can smell the fear on you from here. 

anonymous asked:

Mavis sitting on zeref's head while hes trying to run away from a puppy?

Not exactly what you meant, but I like the idea of those two just running away from cute creatures before they drop dead

I like to think that Jack is so 110% that he can somewhat tell how Bitty is feeling based on the way his food tastes.

-Jack eating his sandwich with Marty, Thirdy or Tater (really anyone that is aware of Jack and Bitty)

Jack takes one bite, makes a contemplative face, puts down the sandwhich, takes out his phone and steps into the hallway. He returns 15 mintues later and continues eating as if nothing of significance occured.

“What was that about?”

“ Something was bothering Bittle so I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

They ponder a moment for it seems whatever the issue, it has been resovled and prying isn’t a good way to talk to Jack. So they drop it and continued with their lunch.

This happens every so often and they start to wonder how suddenly in the middle of the day, Jack claims that something is “bothering” Bitty? One day someone decides to finally ask.

“If somthing is bothering Bitty why do you wait til you eat half your food before you call him?”

“I’m not always completely sure if he’s upset unless i talk to him directly or at least eat his food.”

“His food? Like what, it tastes bad?”

“No its still delicious, but different somehow. So i just call to check up. Usually its stress from school, so we talk through it and discuss how its going.”

“But how can you taste something like that?”

And Jack Laurent Zimmermann, as if someone casually asked 1+1? His response accompanied with the slightest shrug:

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Like what a silly question to ask?

Multiple sighs are released and heads hang low. Food is put down as eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. Some even have to leave, overwhelmed by Jack’s insane sincerity.

After practice Jack notices quite a few guys on their phones. Not meaning to, Jack passes and overhears variations of “Wondering how your day has been” And “Just thinking about you so I wanted to call and say hi.”

He doesn’t think much of it, (since it oblviously has nothing to do with him), and heads home.

10

Edward Elric and his bad taste

singing tipz

im not a professional, but i’ve been singing and performing since i was 6 so i’ve picked up lots of tips.

for a better voice:

-practice a SHIT TON. sing everywhere. hum. whistle. 

-drink water

-try to be aware of your voice 

-always warm up

-open ur throat

-don’t force your high notes. just sing a little over your comfort range and it’ll become easier.

-if you’re learning how to belt, go bit by bit


before a performance:

-drink honey before. honey makes a protective coat on ur vocal chords and will clear up your voice

-drink water

-for the LOVE of GOD, don’t drink milk before a performance

-don’t drink pop either

-warm the FUCK up

-reassure yourself, compliment yourself, try to build up confidence

-if you are unsure of anything in your music or how you sound, ask someone

-be prepared


for confidence:

-practice

-warm up

-practice performing

-fake it til u make it. have totally faux confidence and have a fake inflated sense of self! because eventually u’ll be actually confident

-SHOW OFF! im a HUGE show off and when ppl compliment me it makes me feel so fuckin good and confident. don’t be afraid to show off your talent


posture:

-relax your shoulders

-hands by your sides, never in front of you and for the loVE OF GOD DON’T PUT THEM IN YOUR POCKETS

-put one foot a little in front of the other

-don’t be afraid of rocking back and forth or moving around a bit, you don’t have to be rigid

-straight back. idc HOW gay you are.. you have to have a straight back

-feet a little less than shoulder-width apart

-if you need to tilt ur head to the side, that’s fine as long as you’re not strained


other things:

-if you fuck up a part in ur music, just keep going. most ppl won’t notice

-practice breathing

-SMILE when you sing. it feels weird but it LOOKS so much better than looking like ur at a funeral

-be animated and excited

-sing the fuck out. not exactly loudly, but loud enough so people can hear you