and talk and talk

I also think that for a beginning artist, it is important to not start a blog right away and post their first works on there to get feedback or something. Showing your art in public, especially on a platform that works wih the amount of notes, can be really pressuring and stressful and frustrating. I drew a long time before I even considered posting my art online. People get mad and sad when people don’t reblog or like their art and it makes me sad, that it makes them feel bad about themself. Like. You shouldn’t draw for others if it’s just a hobby. You shouldn’t draw for a number. You should draw because you like doing it.

At the moment I am thinking so much about the right color choice when I draw and… maybe I just made it too difficult for me. I want my pictures to have an overal feeling. I want it to portray emotions. So maybe next time, instead of just a sketch of a character I will start with colors that just portray how I feel or I want this painting to feel and then add forms that do that too and I think of the composition and place the colors more directly and then start with the sketch.

Like I still have an idea what I wanna draw, a camel or what, but with setting all of this before I am more secured when it really is about drawing.

I dunno, I am just rambling for myself and write it on here so I won’t forget. 

Thinking about color harmony and what they express and what forms mean and stuff like that. Which way your eye should go… I want to draw real illustrations and not just characters that are placed on a one colored background… 

anonymous asked:

20: Yura with Vitya and Yuuri

Fuck you, Yuri hates those geezers. Yuri is so filled with hatred at the very sight of Stupid Viktor and his Pork Cutlet Disaster that he almost constantly feels like he’s going to puke. Why does Viktor have to be so fucking happy all the time? It’s stifling. No, he doesn’t want to come over for dinner. Fuck you, he’s not here for you, he’s here for Makkachin.. Someone has to be a good influence on him. Someone has to teach him the Correct Way. (The Correct Way being looking like you couldn’t care at all times. Don’t want it, Makkachin, just let it come to you. Be cool.)

In reality: Viktor is something to Yura like the brother he never had. Yura doesn’t consciously think of him that way, but that’s what he is. Yura never really knew his father and his mother has spent most of his life overworking herself to the point of exhaustion. Somewhere inside him, he knows that that means she loves him, but it’s hard to reconcile that idea with the fact that he sometimes goes entire months without seeing her for more than five minutes at a time. A lot of people think Viktor is some sort of parental figure for Yura, but it’s really not like that. He reacts viscerally to the idea that he considers Viktor a father figure because A: Gross and B: No? He really doesn’t? Later in life he’ll realize that he saw way too much of himself in Viktor to feel comfortable with considering him a father figure. Here they are, young men born into a nation still trying to recover itself and its identity. It makes it difficult for a person to figure out who they are. They grow their hair out long and dress crazily, act out in different ways–Viktor became very worldly at too young of an age, and Yura has so much unchecked anger–and they have both climbed so high and so fast–still are, in Yura’s case–that watching them is terrifying, like waiting for Icarus’ wings to melt as he flies too close to the sun.

Viktor is an idol and a cautionary tale all wrapped up into a too-bright package, and Yura resents him because he’s such a conflicting message but loves him at the same time because he’s one of the only people, at least before the 2016 season, who looked at him and said You can do everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more. Viktor is everything Yura wants to be and also everything that he’s afraid of becoming. 

Then Yuuri Katsuki comes into play and Yura sees parts of Viktor that he’s never, ever seen before. Suddenly the callouses are falling off of the World’s Living Legend at an alarming rate leaving behind this pink, raw Viktor that the world has never seen–or, at least, hasn’t seen for a very long time. Yura watches in half-awe and half-disgust because he thought they had an understanding. He thought that, if nothing else, Viktor understood eat or be eaten. He is literally letting Yuuri Katsuki rip him open at the ribcage and mess around with his heart and Yura is terrified. 

But then Yuuri Katsuki happens to him, too. 

Yuuri Katsuki’s competitiveness makes him physically shake sometimes, and he keeps his emotions tucked behind a pair of blue glasses and eyes full of anxiety and determination, and Yura can relate to that. But Yuuri also sets his small and gentle hands on Yura’s shoulders and asks him if he’s okay when they’re supposed to be competing against each other–Yuuri introduces him to his family and his family opens their arms to his scrappy Russian punk with too pretty of a face for the thoughts roiling through his head. Yura watches Viktor fall in love with Yuuri Katsuki, not just in the gross and demonstrative way but also in the quiet way–Viktor’s eyes follow Yuuri as he warms up in the skater area before the Rostelecom Cup and Yura has seen Viktor do this before, examining other skaters, but never like this. Viktor isn’t sizing Yuuri up. He’s looking after him. His eyes are gentle and his shoulders are relaxed and the curve of his lips can’t be called a smile, but–it might become one, if Yuuri looked at him, if Yuuri were to glance over his shoulder at this moment and smile at Viktor, he would melt.

Why do you let yourself do that? Yura wants to demand of Viktor. 

Yuuri moves to Saint Petersburg and Yura is suddenly alone with him all the time and one day, because he’s sixteen and his hormones don’t know what they’re fucking doing half the time, he furtively and silently tiptoes up to Yuuri in his and Viktor’s kitchen and kisses him. A quiet, clumsy and barely-there peck the likes of which Yura might give his grandfather, but they both know it isn’t a familial kiss.

Yuuri licks his lips and clears his throat and says, “Okay, so that wasn’t…good.”

Yura clenches his fists at his sides, stares down at his own shoes and feels his eyes fill with tears.

“You…can’t kiss people without asking their permission, Yura,” Yuuri whispers. “That wasn’t good.”

“You would have said no if I’d asked,” Yura growls to the floor, trying to make it sound like he’s angry and not falling apart from embarrassment and something like desperation

“Yes, I would have.” Yuuri sets a hand on his shoulder. “Because I’m engaged to Viktor and I’m also nine years older than you, and you’re sixteen. Yura? Will you tell me why you did that?”

“I don’t know,” Yura hisses. “I…why does…fucking Viktor, he’s always talking about–love, and I just–wanted to–I thought maybe I would know what it was–”

“Love isn’t about that, Yura,” Yuuri says. “Someday, maybe you’ll love someone that way, but I–I can’t be that person, and I think you know that. But i do love you, you know. Both of us, Viktor and I, we love you. It’s different from how we love each other, but it’s no less important. It’s more like how you love your grandfather, you know?”

“Grandpa is Grandpa,” Yura says, shaking his head. “It’s different, he has to love me, because he’s–”

“Oh, Yura,” Yuuri whispers, and then he hugs him.

Things are pretty awkward around the Katsuki-Nikiforov house for awhile. Yura is pretty sure that Yuuri tells Viktor about what happened, because Viktor keeps looking at him, and Katsudon can’t keep his mouth shut around Viktor. But maybe that isn’t as bad as Yura thought, because he gets invited relentlessly over to their place until he agrees, and he thinks it’s going to suck and it does, until he realizes that neither of them is treating him any different, and he realizes that maybe, here, are two people who accept him and understand him even though they’ve seen the nasty things that sometimes go on inside his head, and that’s a good feeling.

Los Angeles, CA

A little insight into my broken mind: I impulse-purchased an entirely see-through dress because I convinced myself I vacation enough that it will work perfectly over a bikini. Or maybe just out and about in LA, because fuck it?

The last time I took a vacation involving a beach was in 2015.

it really is incredible that skam, a show from Norway has gotten to me to watch a show completely in subtitles, constantly refreshing a website, watching or reading updates I can’t fully understand without help and learning Norwegian along the way.

it’s proof that there are so many things that we think we need to relate or communicate with each other, but at the core, we go through a lot of the same things and can relate on a much more basic level through our experiences.

as heartbroken as I am that it is over, I am eternally grateful for how this show has made me feel and think and learn and grow. for the stories it’s told and things it didn’t shy away from. the way they really gave us honest, real and complicated human stories.

while not perfect, as nothing is, it was beautiful and incredible to be on this journey. and while I’ll be sad for a long awhile that it’s over, I will always, always be so happy to have experienced skam.

takk skam. may we one day meet again.

// Can anyone clarify how Xemnas’ plan in KH2 worked into the Nort goal?

anonymous asked:

Do you think ravenpaw and barley are a couple?

SO i’ve got a weird relationship with Ravenpaw and Barley like ok. I do really like them together but I don’t feel comfy with them being together while Raven’s still young u know?  I kind of headcanon that Ravenpaw kinda went off on his own and was a wandering loner for quite awhile.  I know that doesn’t really fit in with the books, as he’s mentioned at Barley’s throughout the series but idk. 

First off I honestly can’t see Ravenpaw being completely content just hanging around the barn. I envision him getting restless and wanting to go beyond the farm and explore and get a taste of the wild warrior cat life he had back in the forest. In Ravenpaw’s Farewell, we definitely saw that he did still have that warrior spirit in him

Second, I think for Ravenpaw to really fully develop and become independent and confident, he’d need to sorta grow up a bit on his own and realize he wasn’t a weak coward like Tigerclaw made him believe he was.  I think if he stayed with Barley, he’d be really really dependent on him, and tbh Ravenpaw’s Farewell shows us that Barely was way more dependent on Ravenpaw.

And also if that were the case, it feels less idk taboo because then, when they did get together, Ravenpaw would be a fully developed, well rounded, full grown tom and much more at Barley’s level. I mean tbh I always imagined them having a gap similar to Dustpelt and Ferncloud’s anyway, which no one kicks up a fuss about, but either way. I like my hc so yea h

Do you know that feeling when you want to be close to someone? When you want to hold their hand or sit next to them. To cuddle and watch a movie, or talk about your thoughts for hours. When you just want to be close but not in a sexual or romantic way. You don’t see yourself wanting to date or kiss them. Being around them, it’s enough. You just want to have their attention.

It’s so frustrating seeing Louis talk about how people that used to want to write for one direction don’t want to talk to him now because Louis was literally the one writing most of their songs! If you were a songwriter trying to get on a one direction album you would literally work with Louis most likely to get that done. And now that Louis is trying to make music by himself none of them will even pick up the phone.

Well news flash, they’re missing out on working with one of the most talented guys out there right now while Louis continues to collab with truly talented people that deserve his time. So who’s really losing at the end of the day?