and sure sing someone i used to know to break my heart why don't you

Embrace (Drabble)

!!!💛 💛 💛!!! Hi there!! I also really like your stuff and your new theme is super cool! As for panic attacks, I have never had one myself, so I hope I have done this request some justice. THANKS FOR THE REQUEST!!


It didn’t happen often, but when it does, Hanzo usually tries his utmost to keep it a secret. Even from you. The (ex-)heir to the Shimada clan does not give into weaknesses like these. But there are times when its catches him by surprise, such as tonight. 

Hanzo shoots up in his bed, grabbing at his night shirt even before he awakens, a harsh sweat like he’s been dunked in a pool rather than lying in his own bed. It feels like he’s been drowning, too. An unfettered fear coursing through his veins makes his stomach twist and turn unpleasantly, his body shakes with such intensity, it rattles his very bones. Mind still addled with sleep, he accidentally slams his back against a thin wall, struggling to kick away the blankets that have tangled themselves around his legs like snakes. He barely succeeds. 

Against his will, a strangled cry gets cut off in his throat. No, he knows what this is. This isn’t real. He’s fine. He’s fine

The door then slides open, and his senses go into overdrive when he registers a shape tumble inside in a hurry. Additional panic of someone finding him in this state compounds the problem that he cannot articulate. Instead, his mouth hangs open unsightly, taking in heaving wheezes of air that he can’t seem to get enough of. He could feel the dragons rolling anxiously underneath his skin, adding to the sense of danger that already frazzles his nerves. 

“Hanzo! Are you okay?” 

He starts, and recoils violently from your hand, certain the dragons will attack. He could barely control his own body. “No. No, no…” 

Why you? Why did it have to be you? You’re one of the last people that he’d want to catch him like this. 

“Do you want me to get Angela or Lúcio or–” The words barely make sense in his head, but when he hears their names, he shakes his head violently at the suggestion. No, no, he can’t be seen like this. Not by anyone else. You can’t. His wheezing gets harder, and he can no longer muster the strength to speak. 

“How can I help you?” Hanzo could hear the growing desperation into your voice, but can’t grasp the significance of it. Too focused on trying to control himself, compose himself into the reliable and unflappable man that he was–is. Trying to calm himself and not succeeding only shackles him to the endless cycle. It will pass. It will pass. 

But why isn’t it?

He doesn’t realize that he hasn’t answered you, too lost in his own mind and the pressure that continues to choke him. You take a sharp intake of air, before you settle yourself into his bed, trying once again to reach him. The dragons slide just underneath the surface of his arm, and they shoot out, much to his dismay. He cries out despite himself–you’re going to get killed because he’s weak, the dragons are going to take another important thing away–and sees them wrap themselves around your arms, urging you toward him. 

A split second of clarity–the dragons want you to help–breaks through his haze of panic and fear, long enough for you to pull him towards you, politely ignoring just how wet the sheets were and how sweaty he is. He leans all of his body weight against you, allowing you to maneuver him between your legs and rest his head back against your chest. He doesn’t trust himself anymore. 

Hanzo could feel your breathing, deliberate and steady in his ear. He did his best to follow. In-two-three-four-five-six. Out-two-three-four-five-six. In. Out. Your fingers that card themselves through his loose hair helps. He only vaguely realizes that even his locks were damp, but you continue your motions anyway. In. Out. One, two, three…

The panic inside him that was attempting to fight is way out in every which way it could began to calm. It burns itself out like a fire starved of oxygen. His nerves sing, still buzzing with the aftermath. He could feel the dragons settle back into his being slowly. 

“Talk,” he rasps weakly, grabbing at your knee by his waist. He wants to hear your voice. He wants it to drown out his thoughts that have retreated to the edge of his mind, but are soon to return. “Anything. Talk. Please.” 

You pause, the anchoring breathing no longer in his ear and for a moment, the chilled spike of fear returns, edging his stomach, threatening to plunge itself in. No, he can’t this again. Not again.

“…during the last mission we had, McCree took us to this Brazilian coffee joint. He said it was the best coffee in the area, it was in this alley that looks really sketchy. Typical, huh? And so, we went…”

The encroaching fear begins to retreat, like the darkness being exposed to light, the light being your voice. Slowly, but surely, calm seeps its way into his body, and he sinks bonelessly into your embrace, suddenly exhausted but not sleepy. The hands that continue to massage his scalp and brush his hair do much to assist. 

Later, he’d apologize for showing you such a pathetic side of him, and for making you hold him when he’s unpleasantly sticky with sweat, and caring for him by sacrificing your sleep. He’s grateful beyond words, but his tongue lies heavy in his mouth, and it takes all the energy he has to just focus. But for now, he lays quietly in your arms. More than once, he almost falls asleep to the steady rhythm of your heart and the sound of your voice, comforting in his ear. 

#233 - For anonymous

Filling the prompt “reader losing her virginity to Van? Not super smutty stuff, but like cutesy, body pos maybe?”

Note: Yo. Virginity is a social construct. Fucked twenty people today? Get it, friend. Never want to touch another body in your life? Cool af. Waiting till ya find ya soulmate? Groovy. Don’t think about it much at all? Rad. Your body. Your choice. Whatever you want to do with it and however you want to define it is up to you. Now. Back to thinking about Van McCann’s stupidly long fingers.


There were a million things that kept Van at a distance. He was a year older, seventeen to your sixteen. He dropped out of school while you stayed. Your parents’ nervousness of your friendship with him. Catfish and the constant touring and prioritising of the band over everything else. Van’s carefree and wild nature; a stark contrast to your calculated and cautious. The tragedy was that none of that mattered to Van. He had followed you around since you met as children. He had loved you like you had loved him. Maybe it wasn’t proper love, just teenage crushes that felt like the absolute end of the world. Regardless, all the things that kept Van at a distance wouldn’t have really meant anything if you hadn’t have let them.

Most people assumed you were dating. They’d all stopped questioning anything Van did long ago, so it was never an issue that you were so different. Platonically and innocently tangled up in bed sheets ironed by your mother, listening to Bernie’s vinyls on your big brother’s record player, watching Van watch you, you had never felt so same. So identical. He was just like you and you were just like him.

“You’re killin’ me, love,” he’d say whenever you’d only let him kiss your cheek, or demand a stupid piggy back instead of hand holding, or scoff and roll your eyes whenever he joked about being a proper couple. Honestly, the only thing keeping you and Van from being Y/N And Van was you.

Keep reading

Daniel Seavey Imagine.

Title - Slow Dance Serenade.

Warnings - It’s long, sorry. Kinda.

Type - Fluff.

You were in your bedroom alone feeling a little down as you were recovering from a fight you had recently had with Daniel and it was really bad, as it ended with him pushing you away and you walking out. You heard a knock on your door and went to answer it, ignoring how bad you probably looked especially if it reflected your insides. You open the door and there lays a bunch of purple flowers. You look around and see no trace of anyone around so you bend down to pick up the flowers and see a little note attached.

On the outside it said “Hyacinth (Purple) - I am Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Sorrow”. You recognised the writing almost instantly suddenly getting upset as the flowers were somewhat like a peace offering. You walked back inside your apartment to read the rest of the letter after deciding you don’t want to break down in tears in the hallway if it is going to be an emotional, heartfelt letter.

When you open up the card all it said was “I can’t live without you, I hope you forgive it. A world without you is a world without living.”. The simplicity and shortness of the note is what really got to you. Sure, it was sweet but the fact that he managed, once again, to pull you back in with such simplicity reminded you of how much you really did love him and how you couldn’t lose him. As you decide to go over to his house, you leave your apartment.

Once you arrive you hesitantly and slowly approach the door trying to figure out what you are going to say. You knock on the door lightly, not really knowing if they would have been able to hear it from inside but almost instantly the door is opened to reveal Zach. “Hey, y/n. What’s up?” he trails off and stops himself once he sees the card in your hand, even though you don’t know why you brought it with you and you had kind of forgotten it was in your hand. Once he saw it, he realised why you are there and motions for you to go inside. Once inside, you wait for him to tell you where Daniel is but he disappears upstairs without a word.

Only then do you take in your surroundings. The room smells of Vanilla, your favourite scent and you hear the soft hum of music coming from the living room that you have come so familiar with, yet is just out of your eyesight. You look to the floor and realise that there are flower petals on the floor, matching those of the flowers you found at your door no more than an hour earlier. You decide it would be your best bet to find Daniel if you were to follow the flower petals. The scent of Vanilla seems to be increasing in strength the more you walk yet never becoming too strong. You follow the petals until you are greeted with a nervous looking Daniel, wearing a suit. Almost instantly, you regret coming over. Thinking it was for someone else, I mean why he would he be in a suit for you?

“Y/n” he softly says, his voice full of sorrow and love as he takes both of your hands into his, smiling at his card as he places it on the floor to the side of you both. “I’m sorry and I know sorry won’t cut it. So, let me tell you how I feel in a way that is more natural to me than normal speaking is,” he says removing a remote from his pocket, changing the song to one that sounds like it would be played at a high school prom and turning it up until it is loud enough to be properly heard but not loud enough that you can’t hear him. “May I?” he asks gesturing his hands towards your waist. In awe of the whole situation, you can only nod in reply, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck as he started to sway the two of you, clearly taking the lead.

As the music slightly changes, Daniel begins to sing.

“I get so caught up in me

That I don’t realise what I’m missin’

All of my priorities

Never put you in my plans

Every time we got closer, I pushed you away

Pulled you right back just to give you the pain

If I was your sinner, then you were my saint

Guilty of breaking your heart”  

You could tell he meant every word he was singing and in his eyes, you could see his concern and his hurt.

“I lie here awake, thinking of all the games I played

I let you wait, hundreds of promises that I

I never made, I fell forever in a day

‘Til walked away, ‘cause of the words I didn’t say” 

As he started singing this, the other boys entered the room, also dressed in suits and began singing with him.

As he continued singing the rest of the song you began to really think about the words, connecting with them. Had he really realised how he pushed you away, how he unintentionally hurt you and did he really want to try and make these wrongs right?

“I can’t live without you, I hope you forgive it

A world without you is a world without living

I can’t live without you, I hope you forgive it

A world without you…” 

As he finished singing you were both in tears and the boys had all silently left the room, giving you the alone time you needed to mend your broken relationship. You recognised the last few lines from the card and the look in his eyes told you he really meant it and as much as you wanted to hate him, as much as you wanted him to feel like you had the past few weeks being, pushed away by the one you loved, the one you would do anything for, you couldn’t. You couldn’t put him through that pain. You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t leave him and you sure as hell didn’t want to lose him.

You looked into his eyes and it was as though you had fallen in love again. The ocean blue eyes you had looked into so many times that was the guard to the wave of emotions that were currently swirling around in the mind of the one you would always love.

It was as if he could tell what you were thinking about by your eyes, something you had both picked up from each other and he managed a small smile which broke your heart. The usually happy, energetic and excited boy who only wanted happiness was in front of you, tears in his eyes and upset because of you and you hated it.

You loved him and you couldn’t leave him, so you decided to get the message across. You lightly pressed your lips to his, closing your eyes as you did. As Daniel kissed back, you felt him smile making you giggle. You moved your arms so your hands were playing with the hair on the back of his neck and he rearranged his so he was soothingly rubbing your back.

He lifted you up and spun you around pulling away to look you in the eyes. His smile, wider than you had seen it in a long time. “y/n. I am so sorry for taking so long to say this and I am an idiot for doing so, but I love you. I love you with my whole entire heart. I would do anything for you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you might not love me back for a while, but I am promising you right here, right now, that I will never leave you and will do anything for you to feel the way you did towards me before I messed it up, again.”

Now you were both smiling like idiots, wrapped in each other’s arms in the living room of his house. “Daniel, it’s okay. I love you. I always have and always will, so you’re stuck with me forever because I’m not letting you go.” His smile, somehow, seemed to grow. “Oh please, there is no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with,” he concluded, pressing his lips to yours once again.

Thank you for reading! Requests are always welcome. Let us know if you enjoyed. Until next time, stay mean, green, fighting beans.

- E

Stanning Joshua
  • First off get ready to share
  • He’s super popular 
  • But we’ll start from the beginning 
  • Tbh this is gonna start out negative but it’ll get better i promise
  • Despite being in the vocal unit he didn’t get as many lines as we thought 
  • Actually in Adore U he had one line more than china line
  • That’s just like a second more 
  • Everyone was all protect china line 
  • And joshua was over there just … 
  • Ill stop now before i cant stop but you can tell it annoys me 
  • Anywaysssssss
  • Fancams 
  • Yah all my fellow jisoo stans just cringed 
  • Go watch any of the old fancams 
  • You’re just gonna get a bunch of crotch shots of the other members 
  • You’ll see him maybe half a minute of the whole video 
  • cause he’s always in the back
  • Literally its the biggest mess 
  • So if you are into that kinda of stuff just go look up joshua fancams 
  • ALSO
  • Vernon always get recognized as the english speaker 
  • Tbh dont get me wrong i love vernon 
  • So so much 
  • But like Joshua grew up in America 
  • He’s only lived in Korea for what 3 or 4 years at this point ???
  • He clearly has more experience speaking english than vernon
  • I know vernon has experience too im just saying… 
  • Someone needs to stop all my bitterness
  • Okay one last rant 
  • Very nice era anyone?
  • That moment where we all finally finished screaming and started to focus on the video 
  • And then shua has that great screentime 
  • We are all screaming because he finally got proper lines 
  • And he does that cute lil finger gun
  • And everything is perfect 
  • And then he just ??? walks away ??? and doesn’t ?? come back ???
  • You paused the video and scrolled back
  • Everyone’s going at it but like where’s joshua ????
  • You pause it and count and there’s only 11
  • Mind you wonwoo is out that was a rough time for all of us 
  • But anyways he’s gone like why ???
  • He doesn’t even come back until after chan and hansols part like ???
  • The one moment in fancams where you actually get to see jisoo is when he’s standing on the side lmao 
  • Nah jk with each comeback joshua gets more lines and more screentime 
  • Speaking of comebacks 
  • Boom Boom broke all joshua stans 
  • He got so many more lines than usual im yelling 
  • If it killed me it surely killed all of you 
  • He wasn’t in the back the whole time 
  • Guys our shua is getting better at dancing wow so proud 
  • Also lets just take a moment to appreciate all the times his hair is styled up and his beautiful forehead is exposed 
  • Anyways watching him get all these stans is great usually
  • All the cringie “wow”s and “yes”s that he does 
  • When he finally broke and started dabbing 
  • Tbh i was like unstanning
  • Jk i would never 
  • But anyways 
  • If you’ve biased Joshua as long as i have you’ve noticed how much shua’s come out of his shell
  • He’s shown us his true self 
  • He’s a freakin weirdo and i love him 
  • He’s gotten so much more comfortable since he debuted
  • All the jokes he makes 
  • We can just tell when its coming like he just gets a certain way and you can tell its coming 
  • He legit kills us everyday 
  • His laugh 
  • Like the weird wheezing laugh he does 
  • His cute lil cat smile 
  • His eye crinkles 
  • The hella cringie aegyo 
  • His gentle, soft voice that melts our faces off 
  • When he sings low and time stands still everything is magical 
  • When vocal unit forgets about him multiple times now and our hearts just break a bit because what 
  • When he plays his guitar and our faces are melted off for the second time
  • Everything about Joshua in acoustic very nice broke you 
  • All of the meme’s that come from this boy 
  • Not knowing if we ship jihan or jicheol 
  • worried for your life when you don’t ship either aka me
  • Stanning him is 50% “love me” and 50% “fight me”
  • Okay but back to fancams; macaronshu, atta boy and today jisoo are the go to fancams
  • Every now and then remembering how much he does miss his family and his home back in LA and aggressively awaiting moments when he can go back 
  • 100% loving how proud he is about things; the people he admires, his home, his career, and of course his religion 
  • Like whether you’re a christian or not you totally admire it 
  • Like tbh its gotta be hard at times when it comes to his religion 
  • Im surprised we haven’t had issues regards it that i know of
  • But im glad knowing even if we do no shua stans will take it 
  • Half of us loved the purple and pink hair 
  • And half of us hated it 
  • But no matter what he looks like an angel from heaven 
  • All in all stanning Joshua is wild 
  • Full of laughs and tears and cringe and tbh you’re just gonna die 
If You Don't Know (part 3) L.H.

After that day at the fair we grew closer. We made plans most days after I got off work and started dating almost a month later.

I quickly fell in love with him. He made it easy, he was polite and funny. He was gentle with my body and made sure I always felt beautiful.

The sad Luke that walked into the coffee shop the first day I saw him was rarely seen. We started slowly becoming part of each other’s everyday life.

He met my family and his mother flew to meet me alot couple mothers after we started dating.

I was at his house more than I was my own so that’s when we decided to move in together. Luke was very hesitant, with his last relationship I completely understand why.

We almost called it off due to a panic attack he had the night before we moved all my stuff in. Luckily I was there to hold him, his face buried in my neck as he tried to stop the tears and steady his breathing.

It was the first time I had ever seen him cry and I really feel like it made us stronger. The next day he did indeed move in, assuring me he wanted to move in.

“Luke.” I call walking in the front door.

I don’t hear a response but I can hear the piano that I admired when I moved in. .

It’s been almost a month since i moved in and so far it’s been amazing.

I love falling asleep looking into his blue eyes and waking up to his pink lips.

I can hear him singing to the tune he is playing. The first time I heard him sing was not too long after we started dating. I was so shocked I had him sing to me for the next week.

I love his voice, it is soft and never fails to make me smile.

He glances up at me and his fingers continue to press the keys of the piano, finishing the chorus before standing to his feet.

“Hi baby.” He smiles, stalking over to you.

His arms wrap tightly around my shoulder, kissing my forehead.

“Why’d you stop?” I whine.

He chuckles and keeps his arm wrapped around my waist as we walk to the kitchen.

“ I want to hear about how work was.” He says.

I tell him about how it was pretty slow and boring.

“Not much to look forward to now that this blond cutie stopped coming in.” I smile.

“Hey, do I need to have a talk with this guy.” He jokes.

I shake my head, “Now I get to come home to him every night.”

He leans down and presses a kiss to my lips. I lean into his chest, deepening the kiss.

His other hand goes to my waist as well. My hands get tangled in his hair, it’s so soft.

He pulls away as I start kissing down his neck, moaning my name as I leave a light spot on his neck. It won’t last more than the hour.

His skin is so soft and sweet, I don’t know how he does it.

I fumble with the buttons on his pants before he just yanks them down.

I squeal when he lifts me off the ground and sets me on the kitchen counter.

He chuckles, moving between my legs that are dangling off the edge of the counter. Not quite long enough to touch the floor.

He moved back to my lips after striping me of my shirt.

I love coming home to these kinds of nights.

-
Though being with Luke has been amazing there are some down sides.

He had major trust issues because of what his ex did to him. Our first fight was not too long ago.

I was only scheduled to stay until 3 at work, the normal time I get off everyday. That day the person that usually comes in to take over for me was having a personal crisis.

She had called someone else but they couldn’t be there until 5. I had meant text Luke but we were so busy I didn’t have a moment.

When I finally got home Luke was pacing pack and forth in the living room.

“Hi babe-” I greet him but he is quick to interrupt me.

“Where have you been?” He approaches me.

“I’m sorry, I was asked to stay later at work.” I say putting my bag down.

“Bull shit. Do you actually think I would believe that?” He raises his voice. He has never yelled at me before.

“Luke-” he doesn’t even let me get a word in.

“What’s his name? Huh? Who else have you been fucking.” He puts a hand through his hair.

He looks angry but his eyes are puffy and red around the edges. He looks like he is trying to keep from crying which breaks my heart.

“Baby.” I whispered. My hand reaches out to touch his arm and he takes a step back. “Luke, I don’t know any way to prove to you that I was at work.” I say softly.

He stays silent, staring me down trying to decipher if I’m being honest.

“I don’t think I should have to either. I’m so sorry that she did that to you. But I’m not her and I need you to trust me. This will not work if you don’t.” I take a step towards him.

I am hurt that he thinks I would ever do something to hurt him. I try my best to not to get angry because I know he is not meaning anything from it.

“Luke.” I say again, reaching out once more. This time he allows me to touch his face. He leans into my hand before falling into my chest. He has to bend down because of how tall he is.

“ I would never do that to you.” I whispered, embracing him in my arms.

My hand strokes his hair on the back of his head.
-
The tv is on in the living room, a random show playing as I occupy myself on my phone.

I can tell Luke is bored, the show nor anything on his phone keeping his content.

I can feel his eyes burning holes in the side of my face. Watching as my light eyes scroll through my phone. The light casting on my face.

“What?” I ask, not looking away from my phone.

I can see him grin from the corner of my eye.

“I just- you are so beautiful it’s kind of surreal.” He speaks honestly.

I’m taken back by his words, expecting him to say he is hungry or tired.

I slowly look over at the pale skinned, blue eyed boy I’ve fallen in love with.

The amount of time I’ve thought that same exact thing about him.

The Australian boy walked into my life at the perfect time.

I lean in just as he does, our lips me in the middle.

This is what my mom was talking about when she said “You will know you are really in love when you look at the person and feel like you have known them your whole life.”

I really thought I had found the one.

But the more I think of it the more I feel that we were just kids in love and not everything works out the way you think it will.

anonymous asked:

RFA and Saeran having to deal with an MC obsessed with classic rock? Like Dean Winchester obsessed with classic rock. Plays it all the time, blasts it while cleaning the house, plays it in the car, knows Highway to Hell (AC/DC), White Wedding (Billy Idol), and Ballroom Blitz (Sweet) by heart, and WILL sing along to any song they recognize as classic rock, even if they don't know it. (I recommend all of these songs btw. Highway to Hell is my personal fav) Thanks Lovely Admins~

A/N: CLASSIC ROCK TAKES UP MOST OF MY MUSIC LIBRARY ON MY LAPTOP ON MY PHONE ON MY DEATH BED WHATEVER, THESE ARE SOME OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS I WAS FUCKING BORN FOR THIS REQUEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (not to mention I am 10/10 Dean Winchester trash, I also recommend all the songs mentioned in here if y'all haven’t heard them yet) ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           -He had his headset on while he played LOLOL, but?

           -He can hear some pretty cool guitar riffs in the background. Maybe someone else on the mic was playing music?

           -It wasn’t until he quit for the day that he realized it was coming from the bedroom

           -??? Were you playing music?? What song is this??

           -Why is this song talking about the state of California like it’s a person?

           -When he asked you about it, you told him it was Dani California (by Red Hot Chili Peppers), one of your favourite classic rock songs!

           -Classic rock??? What was that??? Just older rock songs??  listen here, buddy;;;;

           -He really really liked the guitar in it though!!

           -From then on, he asks you all about the songs you play, and you can find them on his phone later that day

           -10/10 you converted him half-way to classic rock the other half is pop like Katy Perry but that’s okay too

*ZEN:

           -Pretty sure he’s heard of classic rock

           -During his motorcycle gang phase, definitely!

           -Used to play Highway to Hell (by AC/DC) all the time when he rode his bike!

           -So when he came home from practicing for a musical all day long, it was a huge surprise to find you in the kitchen making dinner, dancing to this song

           -It was so loud, you didn’t hear him come in or call out to you at all!! okay but you nEED TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG SUPER LOUD OR ELSE WHAT’S THE POINT

           -Hugs you from behind and scared the living hell out of you!!!

           -“MC!! I didn’t know you liked this type of music!! This is my favourite song!”

           -He tells you all the stories and feelings he had when he’d ride his bike, blasting this song

           -Begs you to play more music like this at home!!!! It’s a nice break from all the musical things he has to do all day!! Brings up so many memories!!!

           -As a surprise, he dresses the both of you up in some leather jackets and recreates that scene just for you!! Wants you to feel the same as he did! Free and happy!

*JAEHEE:

           -The moment she got home, she could hear loud music and you singing along, but couldn’t find you?

           -What are we dreaming about? You want me to sing with you? What lines on your face are getting clearer?? Yes MC, the past is gone, what about it?

           -She walks in to the living room to see you dancing around with the broom, practically screaming at the top of your lungs along to Dream On (By Aerosmith)

           -MC you’re just flinging dirt everywhere that’s not very smart

           -You pointed and starting singing the chorus to her, and she got pretty flustered

           -At the end of the song though, you apologize for having it so loud, and offer to turn on some of Zen’s CD’s

           -But??? She turned down your offer???

           -Shyly asks what you were listening to, and asks if the two of you could listen to it again

           -She likes how slow it is, until it gets a little more intense and she’s fiRED UP

           -Any other classic rock band you attempt to put on though, no, the guitar is too much for her, please leave it to the softer Aerosmith’s like Dream On or Sweet Emotion

*JUMIN:

           - LISTEN HERE BUDDY, I HAVE A LONG TIME HEADCANNON THAT’S HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ON MY LAPTOP THAT JUMIN HAS A HUGE COLLECTION OF VINYL RECORDS AND AMONGST THOUSANDS OF ORCHESTRA RECORDS, HE HAS A BON JOVI ONE HIDDEN FROM EVERYONE ELSES SIGHT, Y'ALL CAN FIGHT ME, YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME

           -You were with Driver Kim, on your way to pick up Jumin from work since you kinda took driver kim away for the day lmao

           -Driver Kim knows your favourite songs now, and has a whole playlist ready for you! The two of you were arriving at the C&R building, but you were having so much fun singing along so loudly to the songs! Dancing in your seat! He couldn’t turn off the music and ruin your fun

           -That being said, the moment the door was opened for Jumin, the blaring music almost knocked him backwards a little bit

           -He got in and watched as you kept singing along, not realizing that he had entered the car

           -Immediately recognized the song you were singing as You Give Love A Bad Name (by Bon Jovi again, fiGHT ME)

           -When the song was over, he clapped a little and it scared the hell out of you because whEN THE HELL DID HE GET THERE??

           -You try to apologize for the music but to your surprise, he has Driver Kim keep your playlist going?

           -“MC, this is a secret between the two of us okay but what about driver kim tho. Although I thoroughly enjoy the beautiful instrumental pieces that usually play, I…. have a guilty pleasure for the guitar riffs in Bon Jovi’s works.” did jumin han just say guitar riffs, deceased

           -Loves listening to you sing along from now on! Every now and then you can hear him humming a few songs from your playlist, or even singing very quietly along slay me omg can you imagine tho

*SAEYOUNG:

           -He’s into multiple genres of music sooo, why not classic rock too?

           -There’s been multiple times that he’s walked into the living room and you’re playing air guitar to some of your favourite songs

           -500% jumps on the table and joins you

           - once took air guitar too far and broke the table he was standing on

           -That being said, he really doesn’t mind that you’re so obsessed with it! He likes it too! CRANK IT UP MC

           -Loves when you sing along because he likes hearing your voice

           -When you sing Space Oddity (by David Bowie) he’s wEAK

           -Purposefully plays it often just to hear you sing along

           -Most of his playlist during car rides is classic rock, just for you!

           -The type of guy to slip song lyrics into casual conversations, which confuses the group chat but you’re always laughing at it

*V:

           -He came home earlier than expected from a photoshoot to surprise you!

           -When he got home though, he could hear music from the living room

           -Though it wasn’t usually the soft music the two of you usually have playing?

           -Why is it talking about a crazy train? What’s wrong with the train? It’s coming off the rails? That’s dangerous!!!

           -He noticed you dancing around, dusting, so he decided to just look at what you were playing himself

           -Crazy Train (by Ozzy Osbourne)? He recognized that it was classic rock, and decided to surprise you in a different way by plugging his own phone into the aux cord

           -Which, of course, scared the living hell out of you because you weren’t expecting the music to stop???

           -You went to apologize for playing such loud music, thinking that he was ignoring you and putting on something softer because he didn’t like it, but??

           -He put on Dust in the Wind (by Kansas)?? He knows Kansas???

           -Gets embarrassed when he explains he likes a few classic rock songs here and there, especially anything by Kansas or Lynyrd Skynyrd (His favourites are Free Bird and Simple Man)

*SAERAN:

           -LOVES CLASSIC ROCK

           -GUILTY PLEASURE

           -It’s some of the softer music he’ll listen to what do you mean metallica isnt soft enough music to sleep to

           -He may hate singing in front of you because he gets embarrassed but!!!

           -RESPECTS THE UNSPOKEN CODE

           -YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SING ALONG TO BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (by Queen)

           -So when you turn it on full blast in the living room, he comes RUNNING

           -S L I D E S into the living room and sings along!

           -Listening to classic rock with you, it honestly relaxes him and he comes out of his shell! So he obviously doesn’t care if you’re obsessed

           -Might even stay for an encore and sing Walk This Way (by Aerosmith) or Born to be Wild (by Steppenwolf), otherwise he’ll sit and watch you dance around like an idiot totally doesnt record you because you’re cute

Light Me Up

A Nalu high school AU oneshot in which Lucy is the talented actress and Natsu is the quirky boy backstage.  A lil’ fluffy goodness for your Nalu needs.  Find it on my account for ff.net here.

First Rehearsal - 11 Days Before Opening Night

“Holy flaming hot damn.”

Natsu felt his cousin’s larger body smack into his back when he froze, staring up at the stage.

“Hey, warn me when you’re gonna stop like that, will ya?” Gajeel grumbled, gripping the rail of a nearby staircase to steady himself.  “What are you ‘flamin’ hot damn’ing about?”

Swallowing thickly, Natsu remained silent, not knowing if he could speak or even why that was the case.  In fact, he was far more focused on the new sight on his familiar habitat.  One that gave him that tingling feeling in his chest and made his mouth part in wonder, dropping the wrench he’d been gripping to the ground.

“Oh don’t tell me…”  From the corner of his eye, Natsu saw Gajeel glance between his gaze and the object of it.  “Oh no, look anywhere but there.  Don’t even think about it, Natsu.”

“I burn, I pine, I perish…” Natsu murmured, blinking several times when he realized his stare was drying out his eyes.

“Did you just quote Shakespeare?” Gajeel hissed.  “Don’t say that shit around me; people can hear you!”

At this Natsu choked in realization.  “I quoted Shakespeare…  what the literal hell is wrong with me…?”  But then he smirked and cocked an eyebrow over at Gajeel.  “I bet Levy will like me better now, eh?”

Gajeel’s fist in his arm hurt more than he’d admit. “Shut up, Salamander,” Gajeel growled.  “You’re one to talk – don’t go starin’ her like that!  Askin’ for trouble, as always…”

“Is she new?” Natsu asked faintly.  “I haven’t seen seen her before…”

“And I’ve never seen you check out a chick before,” Gajeel mentioned, seemingly impressed.  “It really took the hottest girl in the school to make you realize your heterosexual temptations?”

“I just asked if she was new,” he repeated.  “Not about your opinion on the condition of my sexuality!”

Sighing, Gajeel leaned against the stairway up to the lit stage, where the actors chatted and looked around at the beautifully crafted set pieces that they’d be performing with.  “Yeah, they recruited her.  I heard they practically begged her to join, and she got the lead female role.  Lucy Heartfilia.  She’s in eleventh grade, same as you.  I’m tellin’ you again, cos; she’s trouble.  And you know the rules.”

Natsu did know the rules, as stated exactly in the Stage Crew Rule Book.

Rule #72: Becoming attracted to a member of BJ is equivalent to selling your soul.

“I know the rules,” he voiced.  “But it’s not like number 72 stopped Elfman from lookin’ at that prissy Evergreen girl, or Juvia from drooling over that stripper.”

“Yeah, whatever,” dismissed Gajeel.  “She’s an actor.  They’re all a buncha preppy brats anyway.”

“Mira’s not,” Natsu muttered, tugging at the white, scale patterned scarf about his neck, “and Lisanna.  Laxus’ friends and Cana are nice, too.”

“Whatever.  C’mon, we have more seats to fix.”  Gajeel tossed Natsu the wrench he’d dropped.  Buckles on his Harley boots clinking, Gajeel squatted down by the next broken theater chair and got to work.  Natsu rolled his eyes at how his cousin kept having to push his hip length, black hair away from his face.  I swear, I should just take a scissors to it in the middle of the night one of these days, Natsu internally mused.

Of course, Natsu understood the evident rivalry between the stage crew, otherwise known here as The Black Shadows, and the actors of Broadway Junior in Magnolia High School.  While the actors took the spotlight, the audiences’ hearts, and all the credit, the crew remained unseen and without a glance of appreciation.  They didn’t so much mind the unseen part.  In fact, they rather took pride in their ability to conceal themselves in the shadow of the curtains and operate a musical on their own.  And often, they didn’t care much for the credit either.  But the bitterness always remained in some way, especially with these particular actors.

Broadway Junior wasn’t just some drama club; it was a class of elites, thirty students picked especially for their ability to sing, dance, act, and be a total diva.  While it was great how all the nationwide awards they’d won boosted the school’s image, it also created for situations like-

“Excuse me, em, you?”

The two boys tore their gaze away from the chair bolts they’d been tightening to the edge of the stage, where a brunette girl in tight dance clothes was crouching daintily closer to them.  “Stagehands, right?”

They grimaced in unison at the title.  “Stage crew,” Gajeel corrected in a grunt. 

“Whaddya need?” Natsu asked with an easy smile.

“Where are all the cowboy hats for the boys?” she said, raising her eyebrows.

It was Gajeel who snapped first.  “Probably where you left ‘em.  They’re your costumes.”

The actress wrinkled up her nose, and the boys did the same in response.  “Alright then,” she went on.  “And why doesn’t this right door work?”

That got their attention.  “What do you mean the door doesn’t work?!  I made that myself and it worked fine like five minutes ago!” Gajeel protested, and Natsu did his signature backflip onto the stage.  

When they reached the door of the farmhouse set piece, Natsu couldn’t help it – he looked again.  There she was, the new girl, sitting on a crate, smiling gently with big, brown eyes shining and hair like sunlight being pushed behind her ear and-

“WHICH GENIUS,” Gajeels booming shout interrupted Natsu’s thoughts, “PULLED OUT MY DOORKNOB?!”

Natsu stiffened.  He’d built that door too…

At once, all of the actors pointed their fingers at their black-haired, chill,  top male singer, Gray Fullbuster.  He was also known as the guy that did the fastest costume changes in the group.  Mostly because he stripped down to his tighty whities right backstage, completely ignoring the purpose of the dressing rooms and scarring poor Wendy for life.

Natsu was there in seconds, grabbing Gray by the front of his shirt (miraculously still being worn) and growled heatedly, “You break my door, I break you!

“It’s your stupid door’s fault!” shot back Gray, raising his own fist.  “I tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge when I pushed and the doorknob came off!”

“The door opens when you pull, you streaking moron!  If you broke something, you should’ve told us! ”

“And get mauled by your crazy stage manager?  Fat chance!”

“Is there a problem here, boys?”

They shivered simultaneously at the shadow of of the girl that had materialized behind them.  “No, ma’am!”

Erza Scarlet, stage manager of the crew, stood before them with eyes narrowed and hands planted on her hips.  Her boyfriend, Jellal Fernandes, trailed behind her with his usual calm expression.  He’d been known by the girls around the school as the dreamy guy with the ‘heavenly body’, but the swooning giggles behind his back had instantly vanished once Erza and Jellal had become a couple.  Surely none of the girls wanted to think of what would happen to them if they tried to hit on the mighty Titania’s boy.

Natsu instantly let Gray go, said boy lowering his fist as well.  Pushing his rosy hair back with calloused hands, he couldn’t help but glance back over at that girl… Lucy.  He internally cursed when he saw that she was looking between him and Gray, seemingly scandalized.  Perfect.

“It would be wise for all to return to their places,” Erza instructed.  “We should be running the first act through soon.  Natsu, Gajeel - I believe you are runners?”

“Yeah!” chorused proudly with a fistbump.

“Then get to stage left with Levy and and Wendy.  Make sure you know your roles for the next scene change and listen closely for Levy’s cues.  There will be a lot of spike taping and light board programming today.  Break!”

“Aye, sir!”

“Oh, and Natsu?” Erza added as she gracefully slid off the stage.

He paused.  “Yeah?”

“Take off the scarf.  Too white.”

Natsu stuck his tongue out at her retreating back and made no move to do as she asked.

Looking back over his shoulder to watch Lucy pass the set piece house to her place and out of sight, Natsu promptly smashed into a fence and toppled into the curtain.


Third Rehearsal - 9 Days Before Opening Night

Natsu was an outgoing person.

Most would expect him to be out in the spotlight, jumping around exuberantly and being as loud as possible.

Truly, that did sound pretty fun to him.

But he wasn’t one for dancing.  Or singing.  Or dressing up in weird stuff.  

No, he contented himself with remaining in the shadows for moments like this.

The rush of his heart when he heard the Assistant Stage Manager, Levy, grip her headset, nod, and whisper, “Get ready.”

The tightening of his legs as the blackout brought the stage to the glorious darkness.

The feeling of when his black boots hit the ground as soon as he heard the word “Go!” and he was off, running across the stage, darting between hasty actors and snatching up whatever piece he’d been assigned to before bolting back.  There, he would place it off to its designated area.  As quickly as he came, Natsu would snatch up something else backstage to drop onto the different colored spike tape, Gajeel, Wendy, Romeo, and Elfman often at his side.

The stage would take on an entire new feel and setting as the colored lights rose back to their brightness, the sounds of the scrollers accompanying his way back beside Levy’s stool.  

All in under twenty seconds.

Natsu leaned back against the cold, brick wall, grinning and already anticipating the next scene change.  That’s when he heard a ripping sound off to his right, and whirled to see someone tearing off some gaff tape.

“Hey!” he whispered harshly, snatching the tape roll out of the girl’s hand.  “That stuff is expensive-! Oh…”

She’d turned to look him in the eye, hunching her shoulders in an apologetic gesture.  It was her.  Lucy.  “I-I’m sorry.  I didn’t know…”

“N-no it-it’s okay, I mean, em,” he stammered.  “What do you, uh, need it for?”

Looking from right to left, she muttered back, “It’s nothing.  Never mind.”

Natsu glanced down to where she had pulled her skirt up to her knee and was suspiciously holding a darkening paper towel to her leg-

“Is that blood?” Natsu asked.

“O-oh really, it’s nothing.  I just scraped my leg against something.  Just being clumsy-”

“Levy!” Natsu jogged up to the petite girl with the blue hair squashed under her headset.  “I’ll need someone to pull in the curtain for the next change - one of the actors is injured and I’m gonna take care of it quick.”

“Oh no!  Sure thing, Natsu - We’ll get it,” Levy assured him before relaying the info to Juvia, the other ASM, on the other side of the stage through headset.

Natsu strode back to Lucy.  “Can you walk?  The classroom has the first aid kit and there’s no good light in here to see…”

“Of course I can.”  Lucy waved him off.  “Really, I only needed to tape this towel on to stop the bleeding.  It’s nothing severe-”

“C’mon,” Natsu sighed, grabbing her before she could continue rambling and swinging her up with one arm over his shoulder like a sandbag.  

“Hey!” she squeaked, pounding with small fists on his back.  Man, the girl could pack a punch.  “Let me down!”

“I will in the room,” Natsu said nonchalantly, ignoring the stunned onlookers back in the workshop as he headed out to the hall.  He hoped his face wasn’t too red at the mere idea that he was this close to her, that she’d spoken to him…

Having tuned out her screeching along the way, he plopped her gently down on the couch in the drama room and unbuckled the first aid kit from the wall.  “Lemme see the cut.”

With a huff, she pulled up the dress to her knee again, taking off the red-stained towel.  It was a few inches long, beginning to bleed again as soon as she removed the pressure.  

Trying not to look at her face as to avoid getting all breathless again, he carefully cleaned around the wound.  He’d done it a few times; actors were often too distracted to watch where they were going.

While he’d finished wrapping the bandage around her leg that would hopefully put a stop to the blood, Natsu felt her eyes on him.  Swallowing, he stood, brushing his hands absently on his black jeans.  “Right, well, em, that should do it.  How bad does it hurt?  I think there might be pain meds in here…”

“It’s fine,” she said softly, smiling.  “Thank you…?”

“Natsu,” he supplied very quickly, thrusting out a hand.  “And it’s no prob.  What did you scrape it against?”

She took the hand and shook it lightly, saying, “There was a screw sticking out of the side of one of the boards…”

“Seriously?!” Natsu demanded.  “I’ll check that out right away.  I’m sorry… We’ll just blame the freshman, yeah?”

Lucy let out a laugh that sent his stomach spiraling.  “Sounds like a solid plan.” 

The two of them began to walk back together, and Natsu found himself admiring how she wasn’t making a big deal about the leg, trying very hard not to limp.  She wasn’t like the other actor girls; Lucy was tough.

“So, you’re crew, huh?” she began.  

“Yup!” he responded.  “Natsu the runner, at your service.”

Oh man, if only he could see her smile again and again… “It’s almost hard to see you guys in that corner.  How many of you are there?”

Natsu scratched the back of his neck as they made their way back to stage left.  “Well, there’s Levy she’s the one with glasses, Gajeel, the goth death metal guy, Wendy, the cute one with the blue hair, and I running on this side.  Juvia, that chick that talks in third person about Gray all the time, Elfman, the… man, and Romeo, the freshmen with the black hair, on the other.  Alzack and Bisca, you know those two, always canoodling… they man the spotlights, Erza and Jellal in the light booth, and Laxus is master of the sound board.  So there’s, em… twelve of us.  In stage crew.”

“Wow.”  Her eyes were doing this shiny thing that he rather liked.  “You guys are so skilled, running this thing with just the twelve of you.”

He’d never heard an actor say something like that, and he stopped dead in his tracks.  “Y-you think so?”

“I do,” she confirmed.  “It’s pretty cool for techie people and drama people to come together to create something this amazing, don’t you think?”

“I do,” he replied with a grin, warming up to this girl more every second.

There was a moment where they just stood there, standing and taking one another in.  Natsu almost felt like there wasn’t some kind of rule book or status separating them.

For a moment, anyway.

When the song ended and the lights shut out, both of them jumped, Natsu cursing as he took off onto the stage with Lucy not far behind.

Natsu returned, finally, to his crewbies’ sides, gripping the wall to keep himself upright with his dizzy mind.  He heard Lucy start to sing, and oh the great Lord forbid she ever stop-

“Natsu, I’m serious, stop it,” Gajeel warned when he saw that his cousin was staring again.  “She’s a BJ and you’re crew.  She’s a prep and out of your league.  Not worth getting yourself into.”

“I want her.”

“She won’t even remember your name!”

“I want her.”

“Would you stop being so damn impulsive?!” Gajeel hissed.  “It’s against the rules - she’s an actor.  Lucy Heartfilia is the richest girl in the school, and every guy wants her.  You, the dude with the pink hair backstage that literally stays in a dark corner for a hobby, is the last guy that stands a chance, and she’s not worth it.”

“She’s worth it alright.  You can’t change my mind.  I want her.”

“…how am I related to such a dumbass?”

Fifth Rehearsal - Seven Days Before Opening Night

“And then,” laughed Natsu, eyes locked solely on the girl beside him, “I literally hang on this rope, trying to get the damned prop to come down from the ceiling, rope snaps, hits a light that was too close on the electric to the curtain, curtain bursts into flame, all the audience screamin’ and fire trucks showing up-”

Lucy was laughing as quietly as possible, clutching her stomach.  “And they still let you be in crew?!”

“Eh, that’s not nearly the worst thing that’s happened on this stage…”  Natsu wiggled his eyebrows at her, causing Lucy to laugh ever the harder.  

The lights went out.  

Lucy left.

Natsu didn’t like the dark as much as he used to.

Monday – Five Days Before Opening Night

Kicking his locker so that it swung open, Natsu wrestled some books from its horrifying chasm of food wrappers.  He ignored the possy of BJ kids that boisterously bumbled behind him in the hall, jogging to lunch.  After shoving handfuls of homework into his fraying backpack, he hiked it up onto his shoulder and headed towards the normal table that the twelve members of The Black Shadows shared.

He barely paid any attention to the conversation that Gajeel and Levy were arguing about (probably argue-flirting about whether metal or classical were more quality music genres) as he stuffed food into his mouth with one hand and scanned his pre-calculus homework.  Usually, he tended to put all work off until the last second, but with being at school until nine pm every day both last and this week…

“Um, can I sit here, Natsu?”

When he looked up, he nearly spat out his juice.  It was Lucy, standing uncertainly with her tray, today in some black jeans, a button down shirt, some bracelets and a necklace, those heart earrings that she always wore…

“S-sure!” he said, hastily pushing his papers towards himself and kicking his backpack away from the open seat next to him.  

The other occupants of the table were gaping openly, though the rudeness of their stares was disregarded by Lucy.  She only smiled with a wave.  “Hello – I’m Lucy.”

Natsu kicked Gajeel under the table.  His cousin cleared his throat.  “Uh, hey, I’m-”

“-Gajeel,” Lucy finished for him.  “Yeah, you’re Natsu and Wendy’s cousin, right?  And you built that stairway – it’s really nice.  A lot more stable than others I’ve had to dance on.”

Gajeel dropped his fork, speechless.

Levy saved him.  “I’m-”

“-Levy McGarden, the genius in my AP English!” Lucy cut her off.  “Top of the class, aren’t you?”

And so it went, Lucy having memorized the names of them all, including Romeo and Wendy.  Someone that cared about those losers in stage crew.

Natsu couldn’t help but smirk at the shocked Erza.  The stage manager had gotten word from someone (Someone Natsu called his metalhead cousin) that he’d gotten a crush on Lucy Heartfilia.  He’d been punished with one of the worst on the Rule Book list – hanging up the entire scrim curtain.  One.  Tie.  At.  A.  Time.

And now Lucy had just proven not to be like the other BJs.

Oh, he wanted her.

“You’re in pre-calc?” Lucy asked, startling him out of his daydream.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Natsu answered, glowing at how impressed she seemed.  He hid his blush in his scarf.

“Wow, I can barely keep up with functions,” Lucy laughed.  “Are the tech nights making it hard for you to get your stuff done, too?”

The small talk went on, but Natsu didn’t care if they talked about the weather or the meaning of life – Lucy had come to be with him outside of the depths of the backstage, and the world was beautiful.

Eighth Rehearsal - Four Days Before Opening Night

Natsu rushed to Wendy’s aid when the curtain got caught, instructing her to push the fabric away from the base of the chair so that he could pull it in.  With a last tug, the curtain was back in, the lights flashing on to the next scene.  Panting, Wendy slapped Natsu a high five before returning to Levy.

“Is that heavy?”

Turning at the sound of Lucy’s voice, he shrugged.  “Nah.  Wendy can do it… you okay?”

She looked exhausted, smiling weakly as she swept some blonde hair behind her ear.  “Oh, just a bit tired from extra dance practice last night.  And dealing with… people.”

He frowned, clenching hands growing cold.  “People?  Someone giving you a hard time?”

“O-of course not-”

Scene change.  

Natsu ran his fence off, past a scowling actor that nearly got bowled over when he got in Natsu’s way.  “Yeesh, careful with that,” the boy grumbled.  “Broadway’s show can’t go on very well if you murder us.”

Eye twitching in annoyance, Natsu said back, “Your show?  Newsflash – it’s mine too, pal.”

“It wouldn’t be anything without us,” the boy dismissed.  “We’re the show.”

“If it weren’t for us,” Natsu hissed, stepping closer to the kid, “you would be stumbling around a bare stage, naked and screaming in the dark.  So run along, do your little dance, and stop your whinin’ – it might give you frown lines that even your makeup can’t cover.”

The boy ran alright.

It was later that night, when Natsu had finished sweeping the stage and was having a penguin sliding contest across it with Gajeel, Romeo, Elfman, and Gray, that he heard the raised voice in the hallway.  One he recognized.

“I told you, I’m really not interested.  Now please leave me alone.”

Looking behind him and seeing the other guys already involved in an argument, he crept off, peeking around the corner to see Lucy hugging her arms to herself and followed closely by a guy Natsu knew was in the wrestling team.

“You don’t need to be so stubborn,” the guy scoffed.  “I mean, you’re obviously asking for it in that short skirt and shirt-”

“If she was asking for it,” Natsu interrupted, stepping out from behind the door.  “I’m pretty sure she could use her words to do so.  Leave her alone.”

“And who do you think you are, kid?  Some kinda-”

“He’s my boyfriend!” Lucy supplied quickly, snatching Natsu’s sleeve and nearly making him pass out in shock.  

The wrestler dude raised his eyebrows at Natsu’s surprised expression.  “Yeah, I smell bullshit.”

“And I smell BO,” Natsu shot back, grimacing.  “It’s called a shower, man.  If you wanna pick up girls, you could use one, and some respect too.  Now screw off.”

“And who’s gonna make me?”

“This black belt district champion is gonna make you if you don’t piss off, asshat,” Natsu growled, pointing at himself.  

“Or me!” And with that, Lucy promptly kicked the guy in the balls with her hard toed dance shoes, sending him toppling to the ground with a rather undignified shriek.

Snatching his wrist, Lucy tugged Natsu away, causing him to yelp, quickly off through the school and to the drama classroom, where she slammed the door shut and breathed out deeply.

He looked at her.  She glanced meekly back up at him.

And they burst out laughing.

“Man, you sure are fired up today!” Natsu exclaimed.  “That was some serious badassary!”

“As much as I appreciated the offer…”  Lucy flashed him a smile.  “I can take care of myself.”

Marry me, Natsu thought.

Eleventh Rehearsal - One Day Before Opening Night

“I heard you said something to a stage crew member.  Something about how it was our show and not theirs.”

Natsu paused in the hall, hearing Gray Fullbuster’s voice, hushed in the next hallway as he tiredly made his way to the front to drive home after the final rehearsal.

“Well yeah…”  Natsu recognized the voice of that bratty kid from Tuesday.  “I mean I only said it because the guy nearly killed me with one of those fences and they really are just side help-”

“It is your job to stay out of their way,” came Gray’s tone sharply in response.  “They are not side help – they are part of our team.  They worked just as hard, or harder, than we did for this show.  We would be absolutely fucked without them, and if I ever hear that you said something like that to one of them again, I’ll get you reported to the directors, or their stage manager.  Are we clear?”

“Y-yes Captain!”

Natsu grinned.

Lucy was out at the front, just as Natsu had been hoping.  Though she had left the theater much before him…

Muttering small curses under her breath, he saw her check her phone.  “He said nine thirty…”

“What’s up?” He leaned up against the wall beside her, beaming at her as brightly as he could manage when he was this tired.  “I thought you went home a while ago.”

“Nah, I… got some homework done,” Lucy answered vaguely, gripping her shoulder bag.  “You?”

“Waiting for my cousins so we can drive home,” Natsu replied, turning his face to the stars.  It was a clear night, though snow was drifting down gently.

“Oh,” she said quietly.

Natsu examined her face.  “Can you drive?”

“I-I can!” she said defensively.  “But… my dad just doesn’t let me drive much in winter, because of the slippery roads.  He said Capricorn would be here half of an hour ago, but no one’s answering and…” She ended with a sigh.

Her face was worn.  He recognized it – that lonely expression that can only come from daddy issues.  Natsu knew about that all too well.  And as it had been doing often, his heart went out to her.  Natsu patted her head.  “I can… drive you home.”

But she tensed.  “O-oh!  I… I don’t know if my father would-”

“If he’s not here by now, he’d have no right to care.  You need to get home and sleep before the big show tomorrow!”

“But your cousins…”

Frowning, Natsu pulled out his phone and typed out a quick message to Gajeel: driving Lucy home quick.  brb

He shoved it back into the pocket of his black jeans.  “It’s good!”

Slowly, she began to smile.  “Alright.  If you’re sure…”

Natsu’s vehicle was nothing special, a rusty old, red truck he liked to call the Fire Dragon, and he had to scrape off some snow before they drove.  He pulled his black sweatshirt that had the white letters spelling The Black Shadows proudly on its back closer to his body, and burrowed his face deeper into his scarf while she buckled her seatbelt.  Checking his phone a last time, he looked down to see his cousin’s response: ur gettin in way too deep w/ that girl.  u should bail.  even the bjs r sayin so

He only replied with:  dont talk about stuff u dont know about.  srsly dont bother trying to change my mind.  ill be back in a bit

It wasn’t long to Lucy’s mansion, and they, of course, blasted classic rock songs the entire way there.

Come saaaail away with meeee…” they finished singing together (though Natsu doubted he’d gotten a single note on tune) before laughing and pulling over to a stop at the driveway of the address.

“Ahhh,” Lucy sighed, sitting back against the seat and closing her eyes.  “I wish all my car rides were like this…”

“Me too,” Natsu admitted.  “Gajeel is such a killjoy and sings almost worse than me.”

“So, you drive him everywhere?”

Natsu checked the clock on his phone.  It was late.  Very late.  “Well, yeah.  I mean we all live together, so.  We take turns driving, and Wendy sits in back.”

“Oh, it would be so nice if I had my family all live with me,” Lucy said dreamily.  “Mom, dad, sisters and brothers, cousins… never be alone…”

Natsu’s throat caught slightly.  “Yeah, it would.”

She frowned, looking up at him.  She was so small, though not as small as Levy.  He could just take her and hold her easily right in his lap-

“You don’t… have that?” Lucy asked cautiously.

Shrugging, he muttered, “Nah.  Parents died a while ago.  Aunts and uncles too.  Were all in the police force.  We live with Gildarts.  He’s Cana’s dad.”

“Oh Natsu, I-I’m sorry I didn’t know and I shouldn’t have brought it up and-”

“Cool your jets!” he laughed.  “I don’t really mind talkin’ about it-”

“My mom died,” she blurted out, grimacing as she did so, shocking Natsu to silence.  “A few years ago.  Dad… won’t talk about it.”

For a moment, he stared.  Natsu figured he was supposed to say ‘sorry’, but he’d always hated hearing that.  So he only nodded, more tightly gripping the gear stick.

He felt something somehow both cool and electrifying, realising that she’d slid her hand onto his and squeezed her fingers around his own.  He smiled.

For a few moments they remained, listening to the gentle strums of the guitar through the stereo.

Then he frowned.  “Your hand is freezing.”

“Sorry,” she muttered, taking it away from his, but he only unzipped his sweatshirt and promptly draped it over her shoulders.

“Your coat is too thin,” he said.  “You can give it back to me later.”

Her brown eyes seemed to search him.  They were like smooth honey, warming him up all over.  

Before he even knew what had happened, she’d kissed his cheek and rushed out of his truck, squeaking, “Good night!  Thanks for the ride!” before bolting off to the towering doors of her home.

There he sat for several minutes, blinking repeatedly and holding a hand to his cheek.  Then- “I could totally die happy right now.”

Opening Night

“Natsu?  Could you maybe… help me with my mic?”

He glanced up from where he’d been refilling batteries, heart jumping from his feet to the top of his head when he saw her in costume, that blue dress, hair curled.  “Of course!”

She turned around for him, letting him slip the microphone pack into the elastic belt around her waist while she held her dress up.  “Are… are you nervous?” she asked, shifting her feet.

Natsu only shrugged.  “Nah.  I’ve screwed up bigger shows than this.  I trust our ability to improv.”

Lucy laughed back, her shoulders seeming to lose their tension.  “I love your perspective.”

“I love your everything.”

He’d blurted it out before he’d even realized he was thinking it, and out loud… oh hell.

She froze, and he could tell she was barely breathing.  Neither was he.

Dammit, why did he always have to be so impulsive?!

Natsu was pretty sure his face was the same color as his hair.  

Dear mother, he’d just confessed in the dorkiest way ever to the most gorgeous girl in the school.  That girl that deep down, he’d known all along was way out of his league.

Muttering a short stream of swear words, he sighed, “Dammit, I’m sorry.  That’s awkward.  Ugh, before the show too… I’m sorry.  Just ignore me.  I know you don’t feel… I’m sorry.  Forget I said anything.”

Hastily zipping up her dress, he threw out the bad batteries and strode quickly backstage to his sanctuary.

With a groan, he threw himself down on Levy’s stool, raking a hand through his hair.  Stupid…

“Natsu?  Are you alright?”

“Mmm,” he said distractedly back to Juvia, who was looking at him in concern, dressed in all her black with ASM binder in hand.  He hadn’t heard her footsteps, but he supposed that was a stage crew special technique, after all.  Being quick, quiet, and controlled.  “Fine.”

But she patted his back in some weird sort of understanding.  “Lucy is a nice girl, and Juvia thinks you two would be cute together.  It will be okay.”  Juvia gave him a wink.  “Juvia is a girl, you know.  She hears things.”

“What kind of things?” Natsu demanded, but Juvia was already walking off, waving at him with a secretive grin.

Feeling the need to repay her somehow, Natsu shouted, “If that stripper doesn’t come around and ask you to prom, I’ll bash his face in myself!”

“There will be no bashing of Gray’s beautiful face!” she scolded from across the stage.

He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling already.  “Where do I even find these people?” he muttered, turning his thoughts to his crewbies.

Closing Night

Natsu gripped the curtain, zoning all of his focus in on the next set piece he’d have to take off.  It was the last show night, and everything had to be perfect.

Ugh, but how could he possibly focus when she was singing like an angel of the Lord?

With Bisca’s spotlight bathing Lucy and her golden curls, she sure looked like one.  As far as he could hear, she hit every note right on, the music ringing across the theater and reverberating into his chest, causing him to let loose a sigh and lean against the wall.  The sound reminded him of that safe feeling, home and warm and the trees rustling in the spring-scented breeze as Igneel laughed and chased him around the yard…

The song ended.  The lights faded.  And he ran.

She was backstage during the next scene, but she avoided his gaze; Lucy hadn’t spoken to him since that moment on opening night.  Natsu tore his eyes away from her, trying to gulp down the sick feeling in his throat.  Maybe Gajeel had been right all along.  Maybe she just didn’t care anymore.  Maybe she was disgusted that a stage crew person would bother with thinking he had a chance.  Maybe she would come to forget him and his name.  Like he was part of the backdrop.

But that didn’t mean his soul didn’t soar when he heard her sing.

It didn’t mean he didn’t miss her laugh.

It didn’t mean he didn’t still love her, however the hell that had managed to happen in only two weeks.

It also didn’t mean that she’d ever feel the same way.

The end of the show used to be an extraordinary feeling for Natsu cheering along with his friends and feeling drunk on their own little victory.  But today, the others indeed cheered, but Natsu just headed off to wait for his cousins by the door.  He didn’t know much how to handle more people being happy when it didn’t seem like there was much to be happy about.  He stood solemnly, holding his backpack loosely at his side.

The actors were going to the cast party, shrieking and giggling as the burst out through the front doors and to their cars.  He wondered who she’d be driving with.  Not that it was really any of his business.

Natsu set his forehead against the tall, school windows, the heavy breath he let out through his nose steaming up the glass.  He wondered if Igneel would’ve told him what to do with a broken heart, had his father still been here.

“Natsu?”

His breath caught.  

“Hey, can we talk?”

Clearing his throat thickly, he turned and muttered, “Sure, Lucy.”  He didn’t meet her eyes.  The humiliation weighed on his head so that he simply couldn’t.

But he did see her furrowed brow, hair thrown into a messy bun, how her newly cleaned face shown, free of stage makeup.  He saw how she was in some gray sweatpants and a white shirt and a black sweatshirt that was much too big for her.  Man, she rocked that outfit.

“I just… forgot to mention something.”  She shifted her feet and glanced up at him.

Finally, he managed to look at her face.  “What’s that?”

Lucy drew a deep breath.  “I also love your scarf.”

Natsu blinked.  “What?”

“I love your scarf.”

Not exactly along the lines of what he’d been expecting her to say.

Well, he hadn’t actually expected her to speak to him again, so it wasn’t like he minded.

“Erm, why?” he couldn’t help but ask.

A small smirk was beginning to play on her lips.  He liked it.  “Because it makes things easier.”

He frowned.  “What things?”

“Things like this.”

That’s when Lucy stepped very close, snatched his scarf, brought his face down towards her and-

Holy flaming hot damn.

She was kissing him.

Natsu stopped had a sharp intake of breath, his backpack crashing to the floor as his hands shot open.  Her lips were soft and demanding against his.  His face was warm.  Everywhere was too warm.  And he loved it.

Not knowing much else of what to do, Natsu pulled her flush to him by the small of her back and brushed his hand over the side of her face.  Lucy tilted her head, and he was kissing her deeper and faster and-

She broke it off to breathe, putting her forehead against his chest.  Natsu breathed with her struggling to form a single coherent thought through the white noise that was his brain.  

Lucy hugged him around the middle.  “Aren’t you and the crew going to Denny’s?”

“Yeah,” Natsu managed to say.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

She took his hand, leading him with a wide and blushing smile back to the theater.  He followed numbly, watching her golden hair swish across the words The Black Shadows on the back of the sweatshirt she was wearing.

Before they pushed open the stage doors, Lucy leaned up and whispered in his ear, “I love your everything too.”

With a smile that he felt he’d never lose, Natsu pushed open the doors and led her past the dark backstage and into the blazing lights.

Shakarian, Canon/Fanon, and Fic Recs

Because mobile tumblr sometimes picks up untagged usages of a URL, I happened to see myself mentioned in a post asking for fic recs. Which is lovely, thank you! But it also came with a side of “I don’t read Shakarian because it’s so popular to make Garrus possessive/aggressive/jealous” and… okay, I have to stick up for what I perceive to be a majority of writers in the fandom (and most certainly in the corner I hang out in!) who don’t do this.

I have, in the past, gone on at length about my own personal feelings on the subject of Garrus’ characterization and the characterization of Garrus/Shepard, which basically boil down to:

  • Protective is not the same thing as possessive; Garrus might worry (and he does, canonically), but he never stands in the way of Shepard doing her job. Ever. Ever.
  • If Shepard has flagged more than one romance, Garrus tells her respectfully he’s not going to be part of a stupid love triangle and to come back when she’s figured out what she wants.
  • Garrus’ aggressiveness/vengefulness/temper is saved for people he feels deserve it (see: Archangel, the Shadow Broker dossiers, his treatment of Harkin/Saleon/Sidonis). I’ve never seen any indication this brand of aggressiveness gets directed at anyone else, canonically, and certainly not at squadmates. He doesn’t even lose his temper with Shepard when/if she stands in the way of taking the shot at Sidonis.
  • Things like marking mates/turian uncontrollable primal urges/equating apex predators with rough sexual practices (humans are apex predators too, folks)/etc are fanon. If a story uses them and you don’t like them? Hit the back button and don’t give that story or that trope any more attention. A fic that wants to play with these ideas in a consensual relationship? Fine. That’s up to the author. Lack of consent or “I couldn’t help it because of X” is deeply problematic. And so is the notion that all turians behave a certain (fanon) way. Think about how many different sexual practices human beings engage in. There’s no reason an alien race, just because they’re alien, wouldn’t have just as much variation. Tarring every member of a species with the same brush, no matter what that brush (or species) may be, is dangerous.

Yeah, there are fics that’re really, really popular that have questionable or unhealthy characterization, but any given fic–even if that fic has lots and lots of fans–does not speak for a fandom. And yes, the popularity of a fic can have effects that trickle down through fanon, so yes, I know the kinkmeme and parts of the fandom I don’t come much in contact with do take Garrus to those places all too frequently. I don’t do that personally, but, more than that, I can name a dozen great writers off the top of my head who write the pairing and who don’t take him to those places, either. It breaks my heart a little to see people write off all fanfiction for the entire pairing (especially when they love the couple) because they’ve run into the dark side and they don’t know anything different exists, or they give up looking before they find it.

I’m not here to police what people write or read or enjoy, or to dictate their taste, and I’m certainly not here to impose my views on fandom as a whole. My Garrus is not your Garrus, and he does not have to be. The great thing about Garrus is that he’s so complicated and so many interpretations (shades of grey, heh) of him are possible. I am, however, here with some suggestions if you want to read fic about Shepard and Garrus that avoids that particular batch of fanon tropes.

ejunkiet has an rec list here and fuckyeahshakarian has one here, and you can also check out all the fanfic fuckyeahshakarian has reblogged here. I haven’t read everything on those lists, but I trust the sources. I know the mod of fuckyeahshakarian, and I know they avoid the aggressive/possessive/jealous trope like the plague, so you should be safe.

Now, if you want authors to look for? I also haven’t read everything by everyone I’m about to mention, but all have written at least one I’ve personally read and enjoyed. Also, I know I will forget folks and that great people are writing great fic I haven’t stumbled across, for which I’m sorry. If you want additional recs, you could always ask some of these folks, since I’m pretty sure some of them will have read things I haven’t.

w0rdinista, servantofclio, loquaciousquark, fourth-agemystery-moose, orchidcactusmadamebadger, theherocomplex, thievinghippo, coppermarigolds (selkit on AO3), eponymous-rose, fistfulofgammarays, damalur, shallow-between-stars (chibihaku on AO3), siawrites, kiramaevasnormandy, pandasizejkateel, todisturbtheuniverse (writes more Thane/FemShep, but has written Shakarian and always treats Garrus well). I also have a not-very-recently-updated list of recs on ff.net, or in the tara recs things she likes tag here on tumblr.

The corner of Shakarian and Mass Effect fandom where I’ve been fortunate to find myself may not always agree about everything, but it is mature, polite, respectful, delightful, and produces absolutely amazing fic and art and meta and fanmixes and conversation.

Now a plea: it seems like everyone knows about those fics that get Garrus and Garrus/Shepard wrong. If you know of someone (either mentioned here or, more especially not) who, in your opinion, is getting it right, please, please, please recommend them! Not just to me, but to everyone! Link to them! Write posts about why you love what they do (without making it about what you hate in other fic; negativity always begets more negativity, it seems like, and this is about loving things). Fic writers write for love and feedback, and, no matter who they are I guarantee hearing from you or seeing themselves recommended will make their whole week… and it might even encourage them to write more of what you love. If you love something, don’t keep it to yourself; sing its praises from the hilltops. It’s the only way people will learn about the work others are doing, and, frankly, it’s the only way that fickle tide of popularity turns.

Why do I care so much about these two froot loops I don't even know?

I outed myself for Zach!  

I don’t even know how it happened, that’s how much I care about these people who I’ll never meet, and whose lives have nothing to do with mine at all.

I’m mostly out, to be honest.  Almost completely.  (I’m in a couple GLAAD videos for gosh sake).  But I outed myself on Twitter, just to send support to Zach, without thinking, when that was one of the places I still have to be careful and censor myself due to people who follow me whose reactions could lead to serious consequences in my life. 

I did it because I was watching a video, and it was the most perfect video with a guy talking about his orientation in the most helpful way I’ve ever heard.  He was saying things that would have changed my life if I’d heard someone, anyone ever saying anything like that when I was in Zach’s (possible, maybe, IDK) position. 

I mean: 

How can your heart not break when it looks so much like he’s feeling all those things you fought to sort through?  When you've been there and you know how much it aches?

So without even thinking, I tweeted the video to him.  And what I said with it outed myself. Why would I do that? Why was my vision so clouded, (for HIM!!! I don’t even know him!!!) when I’ve never slipped up and said anything that made my orientation obvious in any tweet in all the years I’ve been on twitter?

What is it about Zach and Frankie?

Keep reading