and still laughing at tywin's face

GoT modern/high school au headcaons!!! (loosely based off this post; aka i had a conversation about dany in a bar and this just sorta happened)

-transgender/genderqueer arya; she fights with the boys from her neighborhood until they agree to teach her how to land a few actual good punches, she wears dirty sneakers, wolf tshirts and a snapback, hair cut into an overgrown pixie cut

-sansa runs a pretty flowery hipster tumblr blog on which she occasionally fangirls over the hot-but-douchey pop/r'n'b star joffrey, this goes on for several months until she gets just a tad too much into the social justice corner and realizes what a fucking piece of shit he actually is, she moves on and becoms more aware of social problems (which she frequently discusses with the gorgeous fascinating girl called margaery she met on tumblr who she definitely NOT has a crush on, jeez no she probably lives half a world away, no no no)

-jamie lannister used to be at the top of the social food chain, what with being the quarterback of King’s Landing High and a rich kid, perfect hair perfect teeth perfect body perfect clothes, until he said a few words too much about neddie stark’s plain clothes and old-fashioned chivalrous attitude, and somehow he got mugged in an alleyway once and beaten up… at least that’s what he says, but when the word is out that underdog cat tully, the graceful, quiet, but headstrong senior, was the reason his perfect hair doesn’t flick as nice anymore, both his face and reputation are completely ruined

-loras is like a gay rights advocate all the way, even equipped with a tumblr since his sister marg bullied him into getting one (she seems to be super into it tho, “like what is she even doing, who is she even /talking to/ in her room all the time renly i don’t get it she just always giggles and smiles at her screen like a damn moron”) and he is super out, but his bf renly isn’t out because it could ruin his future like financially and loras is a good boyfriend and supportive but also sad because he wants to hold hands in public (//oh look i made myself sad)

-jon snow is the hister emo kid who listens to the arctic monkeys and the 1975 and bastille, he wears white shirts with snowy patterns or wolf prints and black skinny jeans all day every day, can be frequently caught in the library with his best friend sam, nerdy fantasy enthusiast and avid gamer, one of them reading and the other staring about and thinking about life, the both of them sometimes joined by sam’s best friend-slash-maybe-girlfriend gilly, social outcast and teenage mum

-cersei is top cheerleader obvs, and even though now head cheerleader and quarterback of Kings Landing High are siblings, some still joke that there is a dating tradition to keep (wink wonk)

-varys and petyr baelish are the ambigulously gay duo who run student council and threaten everyone’s asses into doing their homework for them

-tyrion is a dropout who doesn’t give a shit and works at pizza hut, but still reads vonnegut and is starstruck when he, by chance, befriends one of the infamous school sluts, shae, and finds out that is kinda everything he ever wanted in life wow

-brienne is the first female football player on the team, the boys used to give her shit for it until one day she tackled loras to the ground effortlessly and sat on his face, which made renly laugh at his bf’s stupid face, which lead to him being so amused that he forgot to make the team run laps for warming up, which kinda gained her the team’s respect forever

-tywin has a big company of some sort in town and he pretty much runs the school cause ~money~ and ~my kids are more important than ur kids~

-danny is the weird kid whose parents and family died and her brother fucked off to god knows where, and now she dresses punk rock and hangs out with the older kids. she got herself three aggressive chihuahuas who bite her enemies ankles, and they’re annoying as hell but she loves them to death. she loves picking bar fights whilst her best friend jorah, who is actually kind of a nerd who just sorta accidentally ended up with her (lab partners), is like fuuuck lemme finish my beer first. also her fave band is imagine dragons, shut up.

-asexual greyworm because of reasons

that is all goodbye

“I call innermost on the left.”

I was going to call innermost on the left,” Rickon whined.

“Too bad, I called it,” said Robb, reaching over and rubbing his little brother’s head.

“But you always win and this is the first night we all get to go,” Rickon pouted. 

“Robb,” Mother intoned, and Robb gaped at her.

“But I called it.”

“Calling doesn’t mean anything, Robb. If it were, I would call the shamash every time and win. It is diplomacy,” Sansa said, fiddling with the end of her braid. Robb rolled his eyes at her.

“Oh please. This isn’t about diplomacy. It’s about winning.”

“While you are debating that point, can I have the third from the right?” Arya demanded. 

“Second from the right,” Jon called.

Rickon was right, Bran thought. It was the first night that they had all been able to pick a candle. The past two nights, one of their parents had sat out, and before then, they had had to break into teams. But tonight was the last night, and there were eight of them and eight candles, and it would be down to luck and strategy to see which would burn out the fastest. 

“Sansa’s candle is tilted. It’ll burn too fast,” Arya pointed out.

“It is not,” Sansa retorted.


But Father was adjusting the candle in question. “Anything else? Or can we light up?”

Everyone shook their heads, and Mother reached over and turned off the light switch while Father lit the shamash for Rickon, then helped him light each candle in turn.

They said their prayer the sat in silence for a few minutes, watching as the nine glowed hot in the dark.

“How long will it be?” Rickon asked, breaking the silence.

“Ten minutes? Twenty?” Bran said. Rickon shifted in his seat. 

“I thought it would go faster since there are more of them tonight,” he complained.

“Nope,” Arya said, “but it’s ok. It’ll be fun.”

Rickon stared at the menorah scrunching up his face. “I want to win,” he said forcefully.

Jon and Robb both laughed. “Don’t we all,” Robb said.

“But you’ve won three times and I haven’t won any,” Rickon said loudly.

“Luck and strategy,” shrugged Robb. Jon elbowed him and muttered something, and Robb doubled over laughing, his kippah falling off.

“Yes?” Mother said.

“Nothing, Mother,” Robb muttered, bending down and grabbing his kippah. It was a new one, one that Sansa had made him for her bat mitzvah. She had made them all new kippot with a crocheting pattern that she had found online, and had even made herself a lacy head covering with a bird pattern on it. Bran liked the kippah. He liked wearing it to Hebrew School especially because it was much nicer than everyone else’s kippot. No one else had home-made ones. 

Across the room, they heard the sound of their father’s phone dinging with some new message, and Father rolled his eyes. “Forgot to turn it on silent,” he muttered, getting to his feet and going to his phone.

“Ned, leave it,” Mother called after him.

“Just making sure that Lannister doesn’t keep bothering me. If he keeps texting, it will ruin the night.”

“Did he like the gelt you brought him?” asked Jon.

“He made no comment,” Father replied, coming and sitting down. “I think he couldn’t tell if it was a joke.”

“Why would he think it’s a joke?” asked Bran. Who thought gelt was a joke? It was chocolate.

Father sighed. “Probably finds the concept of chocolate wrapped in gold offensive. A reference to the whole…” he cast Rickon a look and clearly adjusted what he was about to say, “‘Tywin Lannister poops money’ thing.” Rickon laughed. He was still young enough to find it funny every time it was mentioned. Robb smirked and whispered something in Jon’s ear. A grin spread across Jon’s face and Arya elbowed him pointedly and he bent to tell her.

“Well,” said Mother, “If Tywin Lannister can’t pull that stick out of his butt long enough to enjoy some chocolate, he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Precisely,” agreed Father, and he settled down next to Bran. “Oh darn. I am losing.” He was. His candle was still standing head and shoulders above the two on either side of it, and he sighed. “Ahh well. Better luck next year I suppose.”

Jon had stopped watching the candles. His candle, like Father’s, was burning slowly and he was now occupying himself by running his hands through Arya’s hair and maxing it stand on end in funny directions while Arya told him loudly about her new kindergarten buddy who had made her a Christmas card shaped like a Christmas tree.

“Are you trying to make Arya’s hair look like a Christmas tree? Is this some sort of interpretive illustration?” Father asked, and both of them grinned.

“She is a work of art,” Jon replied somberly and Arya elbowed him again. 

“Did you make Weasel a Christmas card?” asked Sansa.

Arya shook her head. “No, I made her a paper dreidel and taught her how to play. It was fun. She’d never played before.”

“You should bring her a real one next week,” Mother suggested, “We have a million and a half left from Sansa’s bat mitzvah.”

Arya nodded happily. “And some gelt?” she hinted.

“Are you allowed to bring chocolate to kindergarteners?”

“Probably,” Arya said at the same time Sansa said, “Probably not.”

No one was watching the candles–no one except Bran and Rickon. Rickon’s eyes were wide and determined. His candle was neck and neck with Robb’s, and I’d he won, he would get first spin when they turned to dreidel after the candles finished burning.  “Come on,” he was muttering to himself. “Come on, come on, come on.”

Robb laughed. “Wishing will not make it so, Rickon.”

Rickon glared at him.

“Leave him be, Robb,” said Bran. Robb shrugged and turned back to Jon.

“I want to win,” Rickon mumbled to Bran.

“I know,” Bran said. “And you might. Look how close yours is to being done.”

“No one else seems to care if they win,” Rickon said. He suddenly seemed very small. It was often easy to forget how small he was. He was so loud and full of energy all the time, running through the house at top speed, but now, seated between Bran and Arya, he seemed tiny. “Why doesn’t anyone else care?”

“Because it’s just a game,” Robb said.


“What! It is!”

“I don’t know,” Bran whispered to Rickon while Father told Robb not to ruin his brothers’ fun. “But it doesn’t matter what they think, so long as you are playing.”

“But it’s not fair if they don’t care and still win,” Rickon said.

Bran hummed noncommitally and looked back at the menorah. His candle was still too tall to be close to winning, and so he gave up, but Rickon’s. Let Rickon win, he thought staring at the candles. Rickon’s and Robb’s were both so close to guttering out. Let him win. He never does, and he really wants to.

And, a moment later, Rickon let out a triumphant “HA!” and jumped to his feet in celebration.  There was a thin stream of smoke rising from a pool of wax above where his candle had just gone out.

“I win! I win I win I win!”

“Well chosen,” grinned Bran, and Rickon gave him a hug at the same time that Sansa said, “Oh good! You should have won.”

“Can we play now?” Rickon turned to Father and stared at him with wide eyes. “Please?”

“We need to watch them all burn out,” Mother said gently, and she pulled Rickon into her lap.

“Can I have some gelt at least?” Rickon asked.

Mother reached into the bag at her feet and tugged open the yellow plastic mesh and let Rickon fumble out some chocolate.

He ate one as Arya let out a whoop, her candle somehow having outpaced Robb’s, then he handed a coin to Bran, and smiled.

“Thank you, Rickon,” Bran said, peeling back the golden foil.

Rickon kept smiling and he put another piece of chocolate into his mouth.