and still have 2 more degree to go

anonymous asked:

Okay, serious talking now. What would be the worst point in each paladin to attack. We know about Lance's insecurities, but what else? What about the others? I want to read your opinion because you do awsome meta and character analysis.

???????? Wow, thank you ;A; And I’m not sure if I can answer this well for all paladins but I’ll try^^ [tl;dr at the end because this post has gotten really long]


Let’s start with Lance. Lance honestly has many points to attack, which is probably why this fandom is so focused on langst. It’s easy to create content for that because we have so much to work with:

1. his insecurities about his role on the team and in general

I already wrote a lot about it here (and also here a little), desperately trying to figure out how strong these insecurities are but there is no doubt that they exist^^ Surprisingly, they actually seem to be very strong, to the point that fandom only exaggerates them slightly. Lance is just pretty good at hiding them.

2. homesickness

Lance is homesick. Really homesick. He’s homesick to the point that he would leave a party to hang out alone and get lost in his memories:

He is also the one that references his life on Earth the most often. “I missed 14 days for a stomachache in 3rd grade that I never really had”, “That’s the tagline of 6 of my favorite movies” - those are little things, not very important in the overall picture but they prove that he thinks back to his past. 

3. fear of death/unnatural things that are dangerous

Lance isn’t afraid of aliens, that’s not what I mean with it - I’m talking about the episode Crystal Venom where the castle was trying to kill him. Here is an analysis on how deeply that episode really disturbed him. As for his fear of dying - he is the one that has been confronted with death the most of all the paladins (excluding Shiro - but Shiro has lost/repressed lots of his traumatic memories). Here’s proof:

S1E1. He thought Hunk had died in the explosion when they were trying to retrieve the yellow lion. S1E4. The explosion nearly killed him - “you would have died if Hunk and Coran hadn’t gotten a new crystal” (Pidge, S1E6). S1E9. He almost got sucked out of an airlock. S2E2. The snake monster thingy got free of the stone and Lance was in the direct line of fire.

He was the one screaming “we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die!!” in S2E5 when they had to hold the lenses for the wormhole maker. Lance is scared of death not despite but because he knows it the best of all of them. He almost died multiple times and he saw his friends almost dying multiple times (the Hunk thingy I included above, when he saved Coran from the explosion, when he thought he had to save Coran in “Crystal Venom”, when Pidge in the cube episode got shot down and didn’t reply to them). Look at his reaction vs the reaction of the other paladins when they thought Allura had died:

They are all shocked and disbelieving, meanwhile Lance:

He’s neither shocked nor disbelieving, he’s just hurt. One of his deepest fears became reality and there is nothing he could do about it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

sorry to be that person but why are you against mcclain as lances last name? at first glance i was like oh i guess it can be seen as whitewashing, but then lots of people said it was fine because that was his canon last name in voltron: defenders of the universe. i also saw the point being made that lots of latinx people have white sounding last names and lots of white people have latinx sounding last names so either way names arent perfectly representative of a persons race. what do you think?

Okay. Hoo Boy here we go! Sorry for being Extra Blunt, but to me you don’t seem all that sorry, considering you still decided to send this ask, lmao. Anyways! This is actually gonna get hella long, so let me just post a Table of Contents here in bullet point form to let you know what I’ll be covering. The rest will be below the cut.

  1. Disclaimer-ish
  2. Why are you against Lance having a White surname?
  3. But other people said it was okay, doesn’t that mean it’s okay?
  4. I’m Latinx/Mixed and my surname is White. What about my representation?/Are you saying I’m not valid?
  5. But his original surname is McClain, isn’t it? Why not just keep it?
  6. How is it “whitewashing” if this isn’t about skin tone? How is this racist?
  7. It’s not that big of a deal, is it?
  8. Conclusion

Keep reading

Kouri rewatches Sense8 2.04

  • Lito’s dramatic freak-out in the museum will forever be one of the best parts of this show
  • As much as I love Bug and I’m glad he got clued in and his reaction was hilarious, I can’t believe we got to see his reaction but we didn’t get to see Hernando and Dani’s (presuming that Lito does actually clue them in at the end of this season, like he says he’s going to).
  • Poor Kala and Capheus just want to live in peace
  • This might just be the chemistry nerd in me but it amuses me that they say an androgen booster would inhibit emotional connection, since androgens are just male hormones…
  • Lito: “I think maybe he was a lover” like everyone else has not already figured this out lmao
  • “The only thing I hate more than rhetorical questions are stupid rhetorical questions” I aspire to give as few fucks as Mrs. Cho when I get old
  • I love this scene with Lito and Raoul’s father. I hoped it meant Lito was going to take a more active role in the larger mystery. As much as I adored Lito’s storyline in season 2, I’m still really sad he didn’t.
  • Seriously though can you imagine the degree of WTF Raoul’s dad must have felt watching this creepy-ass video after Raoul disappeared
  • The first time I watched this, I assumed that Detective Mun was Woo-Jin, from Sun’s flashback about her first time, but then I noticed that his first name is Kwon-Ho and now I’m just confused.
  • I still have no idea what’s going on with Jonas but I’ve gathered that nobody does so that’s okay.
12 Days of Anime Day 12: Adolescence of Utena

Reasons to watch the Revolutionary Girl Utena movie:

1. tHE HAIR

OH

Originally posted by lucyharai

MY

Originally posted by lucyharai

GOD

Originally posted by lucyharai

this next one’s my favorite are you ready

Originally posted by teamchivalry

*whispers* im so gay

Literally had to replay Jury’s intro scene multiple times back to back when I first watched this movie because me and my friend couldn’t stop flipping out about HER GORGEOUS LOCKS

How does she even fit it all in that mask??? Fuckin’ witchcraft

(why do I always start my posts about lesbians with a ton of gifs…)

2. Revolutionary Girl Utena is artsy and surreal. Adolescence of Utena is EXTREMELY artsy and surreal. It’s all of what the show had and more. Every scene is so beautiful and interesting to look at. And of course, being Utena, there’s a lot under the surface to analyze. The big difference here is that, being a movie, they unfortunately can’t really go over quite as much as a 39-episode show can. It still has a lot of the same themes as the show, but some are represented to a lesser degree and others have more focus than before. I feel like the anime was more about society and growing up while the movie is… more gay. No, really, there’s a lot more focus on Utena and Anthy’s relationship and the ultimate message of the ending centers around them.

I really like this movie. In fact, it comes close to being my #1 favorite anime movie now. I can’t really compare it to the original anime because they’re two very different tellings of the same story and they have different overall messages. I like them both for different reasons. 

This is a movie I highly recommend. But I can’t recommend it alone, you really have to watch the Revolutionary Girl Utena anime first to fully appreciate it.

Now, when I think of Adolescence of Utena, my mind can only go to one thing:

The dance scene.

Originally posted by their-eternal-apocalypse

THIS SCENE IS SO PRETTY

I really mean it: this part of the movie is so beautiful. The animation, the imagery, the music, oh my god, the MUSIC, it’s all just amazing. It’s really trippy and gorgeous at the same time. I love this scene so much it’s definitely my favorite scene of all time from any anime.

One of the things I like more about this movie than the show is Anthy and Utena. Like I said before, a lot more focus is put on the romantic aspect of their relationship. The anime had lesbianism as more of a subtext, but it’s one of the main focuses of the movie. And this is just one of many scenes that expands on their relationship in ways that the show didn’t. I like that that’s explored more.

Also “At Times, Love Is”, the song that plays during this scene, is the ultimate gay anthem. And that’s why as of right now on my computer it has over 1200 plays on iTunes.

I have a problem :3

(Shoutout to @robin-red-r because we watched this movie for the first time together. If I didn’t have someone to experience it and talk about it with me afterwards, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as I did. Thanks friend. Here’s to another year of watching gay anime together.)

Why I get triggered over Kai being called a psychopath when he’s a sociopath.

Oh Kaira, you shouldn’t get triggered. It means the same thing.

No, it does not. 

Sociopaths are capable of feeling a small degree of empathy (keep in mind that this is significantly less than the average person) for those they have a bond with. They are capable of feeling remorse for a person they’ve bonded with. 

Now in general psychopaths are usually the charming ones. They control their temperaments even in the worst situations. And sociopaths are usually the ones who are nervous and unsure of themselves. Easily agitated and quick to display anger.

Now a sociopath can have psychopathic traits. For example, pre merge Kai had the superficial charm of a psychopath. But despite having the charm, he was still a sociopath, and it’s because he has more in common with a sociopath than a psychopath. 

Sociopath trait #1: The ability to form emotional attachments.

Kai was bonding with Bonnie in 1994. Enough to keep trying to take her with him, when he could have just stolen her magic, taken her blood, and left. 

Kai was in a place that caused him so much psychological pain, that it caused him to try to kill himself multiple times. A place that gave him post-traumatic stress disorder, way worse than Bonnie’s. Because if Bonnie was breaking apart after only months of isolation, how do you think Kai felt after years of isolation?

We know Kai had PTSD because well the T in PTSD stands for traumatic. And the fact that Kai killed himself multiple times, to escape the isolation, shows me that his isolation was traumatic.

Now he dealt with his PTSD. Because he was determined that Bonnie come back with him. He was determined that Bonnie become his friend. Of course, he also wanted to escape, and Bonnie wasn’t having any of it; so he hurt her badly. That was really shitty of Kai, I’m not denying it. He hurt her in his desperation to escape his PTSD reminder and the mental torture that caused him to constantly kill himself. But he also tried convincing her to help them both escape, telling Bonnie quite personal information about himself, like Bonnie was a trusted confidante. 

But he had enough empathy for Bonnie not to kill her and escape as soon as possible. Remember what I said about the blood, stealing her magic, and the spell? He had enough empathy to deal with his PTSD, and keep trying to convince her; because he didn’t want Bonnie to die just so he could escape his mental torture.

Now if Kai was a psychopath: 

Bonnie would have been dead. End of story. Psychopath’s don’t really form emotional attachments like sociopaths do. If Kai was a psychopath he would have heard Bonnie chant the spell for her and Damon to escape, shot her with the arrow, drained her of magic, killed her, used her blood; and then went back to the present day; using the spell he had just heard her chant. Oh and killed Damon too of course.

Now pre merge Kai didn’t feel remorse for what he did to Bonnie. I did say that sociopaths are capable of feeling remorse for those they share a bond with. But keep in mind I said “capable”, which means they can feel it. But it doesn’t necessarily mean they will feel it.

Now I believe that Kai couldn’t feel remorse because he felt his actions were justified. No matter how strong a bond, if someone tries to leave you behind to isolation; if they try to stop you from escaping mental torture; obviously you’re going to feel justified in leaving them behind, just as they tried to do with you.

Assuming you are not a psychopath or sociopath; even if you felt empathy for the person not to leave them behind. You would still feel majorly angry and hurt. Now imagine being a sociopath with a limited degree of empathy, and that anger and hurt come back with a revenge that is more brutal, than anything us normal people could dish out. 

#2 Sociopathic trait: Lack of ability to control emotions. Psychopaths have excellent control over their emotions. Poor impulse control. Lack of planning and foresight or emotions impair their planning and foresight. Lack of ability to be aware of and avoid consequences, whilst in an aggravated emotional state.

Now it can be argued, that Kai has perfect control over his emotions, and Kai showing sadness to Bonnie was just to get his way. He was hoping that she would feel sorry for him.

I will agree that that’s probably true to a degree. That’s why I won’t be using Kai showing his vulnerability to Bonnie as evidence.(However I feel that some of his sadness was genuine, but he may have played it to his advantage)

But what I will use as evidence, as Kai snapping over finding out why Liv and Luke were really born; and then killing his siblings.

Now if Kai was a psychopath:

He wouldn’t have lost his temper. Instead, a plan would have started forming in his mind. He would have been thinking of a logical way to get rid of the competition without getting in trouble himself. He would think, right they won’t merge until they are 22 years old. I have years to plan this out. I have years to plan a way for them to die under mysterious circumstances, or to frame someone else etc.  As a psychopath he would be able to control his impulse to murder his siblings, and act like nothing is wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, Kai is a brilliant planner when he’s happy but he’s not a brilliant planner when he’s angry. Which is one of the reasons why he is a sociopath.

Speaking of highest educated group in America, I have 2 degrees and working on 2 more and ill be done in 2018-2019.

Still ain’t a fool in sight worth my time.

You drive a 89 Accord, with a credit score of 500, dont work and still live with ya momma, and have the nerve to call me stuck up.

Yes. Yes I am. Now move along little boy and go play ya xbox on ya momma internet.

Ladies don’t you ever settle for a man who doesn’t have as much as you do or more. Don’t settle for someone you like when you could be in love with a man who worships the ground you walk on.

If you feeling down let me know. I’ll gas ya ass up for free and out of sincerity.

HanLeia Fic Recs

Because she was feeling a bit discouraged the other day and because I admire her greatly as an author–both her incredible ability to produce constant amounts of high-quality fic in short amounts of time and her amazing attention to detail and nuance–I’ve taken it upon myself to recommend you all my favorite stories by @mandatheginger 

1. Objective: I binge read this entire story on a bus ride from Boston to Philadelphia and let me just say that I was thoroughly entertained the entire 7 hour trip. The story is classic post-ANH Han, Luke, and Leia with a perfect amount of action and romantic sub-text. One of my all-time favorites.

2. Approach: TRIP TO BESPIN SEXY TIME. Enough said, am I right? Perfectly in-character, we get a flawless portrayal of the early stages of Han and Leia’s romantic involvement, with just enough emotional vulnerability and a degree of UST that makes you desperate for more. Spoiler alert: they don’t even have sex and it’s still some of the best smut out there. Go read it.

3. The Light From Alderaan: Do you like fluff and all the feels? Yes? Ok go read this super sweet oneshot.

4. Pretty Good: ROTJ explicit yet romantic smut. Plenty of touching character exposition. M-Rated HanLeia ficlet of the highest quality.

5. It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: This is her current project and it’s Ord Mantell!!!! And while I’ve read many interpretations of that particular mission, this one is shaping up to be one of my favorites. The pre-ESB dynamic between them is spot on, and the romantic and sexual tension is just perfect, not to mention that there’s a plot underway that extends past the scope of their relationship. I’m thoroughly enjoying this story and I cannot recommend it enough. Go read it!

10

Milla Stage 2: An Unexpected Reunion
Scene 3 part 1
[<- Scene 2]
[part 2 ->]

after i finish this stage i’m going to switch to detailed text summaries for each scene instead of edited screenshots. as much as i like keeping the pictures and actual dialogue, this’ll just be a lot easier (and much faster!)

if anyone out there is still following, are you more interested in completing this story or starting the new (fourth) scenario? i intend to do both to some degree, but i haven’t decided which to focus on first, so if you have a preference feel free to hmu and i’ll take them into consideration

Undine: Ooooh…
???: …All right, looks like it’s down.
Milla:
???: …What’s wrong?
Milla: I wonder if the mana is also what made Undine act like this…
Milla: Perhaps without enough mana, they lose control of themselves.
Milla: If that’s the case, then the other spirits might also have lost themselves and started running wild.
Jude: Running wild…
Milla: Either way, I’ll need to find out what’s causing the decrease in mana…
???: Hey, you guys… Look!
Jude: Undine is… disappearing…?
Milla: No, just…
???: What happened? Is this some new attack?
Milla: Really?… Well, everything’s all right now.
Jude: Milla, is Undine…?
Milla: …Yes. Don’t worry.
Milla: Undine has returned to me, and no longer has need for a physical form. 
Jude: Oh, good…
???: I don’t really know what you’re talking about, but… is it safe to say the danger has passed?
Milla: Yes, we’re fine. Sorry about before, and thank you.
Jude: Yeah, thanks. You really saved us. I’m Jude, and this is Milla. You are?
Senel: Senel Coolidge. I’m a marine trooper from Seaville.
Milla: Hmm… Really?
Senel: …? Who is she talking to?
Jude: That spirit, Undine. Milla, did you figure something out?
Milla: No… It seems Undine doesn’t know what’s happened to this realm, either.
Milla: However, it’s highly likely that the lack of mana truly is connected to the resumption of the war.
Milla: The amount of mana in the human realm dropped rapidly after the two counties started fighting again.
Milla: Perhaps that sharp drop in mana the war caused is also why Undine and the others suddenly disappeared.

Married Novice

I can feel my heart steadily palpitating and my breath shortening when I see the paper calendar plastered on my desk showing how little time I have left before Rara leaves me for Wellington to continue her studies, a city that I once called home for 2 years and still actually do. Knowing that I’ll be apart from Rara for at least ten excruciating months is damning. There is somewhat of a heightened degree of fear and nervousness compared to the feelings I felt when I myself left her for Wellington a couple of years ago. Even if at that time, I just had recently lost my father.

Why does it seem, as I age, I have more fear of the world? Have I realised, how nefarious the world can be? And to face it by one self is unfavourable? Does it simply go back to the idea of “safety in numbers”?

And will I, acknowledging all this, while I wait to see Rara again, be strangled by separation and perhaps loneliness? “Death to you torn by loneliness” Chairil Anwar once wrote in a poem titled Sia-sia or Useless.

I wonder if this is love? Or at least a part of love, the other face of love. This fear and longing.

If it is indeed so, how painful love actually is, even if to give a clear definition of love is far from easy, yet the significance of this emotion called love on the mind and heart is then a curse for many. And yet it is an issue that is not new to me or any of us.

When I look back at 2015, perhaps the one matter that I have truly struggled to understand, thought of the most and written the most in my black little diary is the matter of love and everything that follows with it.

There is no other issue that continually pervades and harasses my mind on a daily basis other than this thing called love. It’s not merely a question of what love is and try to define the intricacies and perhaps the limitations of love, if any, but it has more so to do with how do you love? Blindly? Intelligently? With fervor and passion? With calmness and silence?

How do you love in a world that pushes you to heighten your ego? Where the self is constantly seen as the center of the universe? That everything else outside the self is often of less importance than the desires of one self? Where do I go from here?

Should love be particular? Or universal? How do you love and maintain what little love you have in yourself when everything & everyone around you constantly tugs on the hateful part of our minds? From our scornful, self-centered lovers to our sometimes anachronistic, irrational parents to our bigoted society and to be a bit political, to our often paranoid fear-mongering government that will every now and then take the irrational steps to please the uneducated many.

How then, not only knowing all this but also understanding all this, how do we love?

Or is this a question of unimportance in a society where the only thing that we have left as a society is the value of usefulness towards each other? A very practical utilitarian view. People that are deemed useless for a society is seen as an unnecessary burdening individual. People are insisted to be upgraded or self-upgrade to the specifications and expectations of society or forever be relegated to the far marginalized end of the social caste spectrum.

Surely there is something more to love than the ideas instilled by lovey dovey Hollywood movies and relationship magazines.

Is our desire to love, to be loved, to have love, nothing more than an instinctual response to fearing that we can at any day, anytime, become nothing? Evoking an existential fear in a world where not only to become something is important but to become something great is the pinnacle of our personal achievements.

I have tried to personally educate myself on love especially the months before my wedding back in September of 2015. Where this issue of love and relationships became a constant issue that me and Rara conversed deliberately on. We are supposedly in love with one another and to talk about our love for one another from a more logical viewpoint rather than just simply emotional seems reasonable.

Both of us have become close witnesses of broken homes and distraught marriages yet ‘forced’ to be with each other for the sake of their children or any other justifiable means. And although we have learned much from them we can never be sure that we will not repeat what we have seen, heard and felt. I understand that I write this during our honeymoon phase, where our ‘love hormones’ are supposedly still high. Thus happiness between us is still easily attainable and workable.

We, however, understand that as it dwindles we must find a way or a reason to be together, hopefully more so than mere unconscious, unrelenting attachment towards each other. This is one of the reasons why I personally pushed to talk more on love with Rara as well as how we define our relationship with each other. Has it worked to help us diminish any quarrels? Perhaps, but what seems to be more important is the fact that we have learned more about each other especially our fears, angers, and sadness. Emotions that can be quite confusing for the person suffering it and the person witnessing it. Is it not the neglected and suppressed fears, angers, sadness which is what destroys relationships?

I have friends whom naively think that marriage will solve their relationship issues that they have. Further more, if it is not solved by marriage then perhaps having a child will solve whatever quarrels among them. My experience in seeing those who just recently got married and those who have been married for many years shows that marriage doesn’t guarantee anything beautiful and joyful. We would only like to think so. It does nonetheless guarantee a culturally appropriate reason to maintain something unhealthy and broken. Understanding this, my marriage with Rara has not become the pinnacle of our relationship and thus the epitome of a happy, healthy relationship. Shouldn’t the happiness of a relationship go beyond the label of marriage? If a relationship is deeply superficial, is marriage then a beginning or an end of ourselves?

People don’t seem to understand we can denounce our commitment to each other even if we have 18 carats of solid gold wrapped beautifully around our little brown fingers. The legality of our marriage doesn’t make it harder for any of us to be deceitful towards each other. Not even the possible shame and angered family mobs that we may experience even if we were to be liars towards one another.

I wonder if me and Rara have changed after our wedding? I don’t think much have changed, other than we are it seems more considerate (at least I would like to hope so) of our individual plans so that it will intertwine with one another and not have it grow apart. The dynamics of the relationship has altered little, the power relations between us have remained neutral and stable. Basically she has her own stuff going on and I have my own stuff going on.

I guess when it comes to change it is the people around us that have changed their attitudes towards us. Especially when we mention that due to legality, cultural and religious issues we got married in Singapore, as inter-religious marriage is technically forbidden by Indonesia and to choose to not have a religion it seems is forbidden as well. This of course is another issue that I can write at length on.

And I wonder why marriages fail? Of course due to a variety of reasons. Yet what’s lost during the course of marriage that was present in the beginning? Romantic love of course is lost without doubt, but to hold on to mere love is reckless as like any other emotion love is impermanent. It oscillates wildly dependent on a variety of factors sometimes external sometimes internal, including trust, sometimes it comes and goes, sometimes it just goes and never comes back.

I’m still new with this marriage thing but I guess from what I have experienced so far in me and Rara’s ever-evolving relationship is understood by one thing. And that is, whatever is said and done in our relationship, how we define our relationship, how we understand it, is very much dependent on our very own relationship with ourselves.

Our relationship with each other is but a manifestation of how we understand ourselves. An inquiry to ‘us’ needs as much of an inquiry into ‘me’. Can we be understood when we cannot understand what we want to be understood?

It seems from what I have experienced through out almost my 30 years of living, is the more broken we are and the more unwilling we are to fix ourselves will eventually spill over to how we relate to one another. A broken relationship seems to indicate (while of course avoiding generalizations) a broken self. The amount of toxicity that we have towards each other depends on how toxic we are towards ourselves.

And jumping to the Indonesian culture a bit on this, the many outrageously ostentatious Indonesian weddings are quite toxic to begin with does not help us understand how much we or society has poisoned our views on relationships. Especially in regards to the issue of simplicity, an idea in an age of constant instagram comparison paired with familial duties and the desire to maintain our cultural heritage can have middle-income families spend in excess of Rp. 350.000.000 ($30.000) and invite at least 1000 people. Surely the money can be spent on something much more useful for the new couple. It infuriates me to even think about this so I’ll just quote Rara on this, “That what is simple and intimate is what gives meaning.”

Yet I guess it makes sense in a very communal society such as Indonesia. Where the need to maintain our connection with the community, in hopes of achieving some kind of return of investment (to use a business term) in any form, there needs to be of course an investment at first. The money spent at weddings is more of a social investment in order to maintain connections in a very tight social fabric.

But aside from this I’m still curious on what infatuates us Indonesians the most with marriage? What compels many Indonesians to marry even when monetary and psychological readiness is far from our minds? Is it truly love that we want? Are we so easily blinded by the temporary romanticism of love that we brave ourselves to gamble in marriage for the sake of quenching our desire for lasting love with our lives at stake? But then what brings about this seemingly unshakable confidence for marriage?

Is it perhaps the inevitable ticking clock that presents us with the possibility of forever being alone?

Not only is it our desire to marry as soon as we have the legal and biological chance that I question but I find it extremely nauseating when I look back and see that even my own wedding has been hijacked by needless grandeur. The simplicity of love (or what I have been led to believe what love is suppose to be like) has been diminished from the beginning. It has in many ways, albeit its cultural justifications, become a celebration of superficiality at its finest.

People seem to not only shy away from the simple but to condemn it as well. Marriage has become a transactional socio-economic endeavor. The pinnacle of actualizing a commitment towards one another has exploded into a manifestation of our desire to increase our economic capital and heighten of our social capital, i.e. our social standing or social decorum. Perhaps it is this that I truthfully and deeply dislike, how many Indonesian weddings are painstakingly tailored to exhibit the extent of our economic and social capital. It is far from the romantic allure that supposedly governs people to get married in the first place.

The purpose of our wedding or perhaps even many Indonesian wedding is to show others of our successes and excesses hence crystallizing our place in the social hierarchy and to maintain a tradition that is blatantly pandering itself to ostentatious beginnings. Have we become, due to our highly capitalistic society, too complex in our desires? 

But is the desire for marriage merely seen as the prerequisite to fulfill the desire for a family? I don’t have a prime personal example of what being a good family means. Not my personal family or perhaps even extended. I have examples of particular human beings that have beautiful personal traits but oddly they were unable to translate it within a familial relationship.  

It is because of this reason I question much on starting my own family. I fear that a beautiful beginning would end in a nightmarish disaster or even worst, staying together bound by nothing more than tolerance of each other and the fear of the possibility of destroying the happiness of their offspring. Surely there is another way of pursuing a relationship, pursuing life.

Truth be told I am unhappy of how many of my older and younger friends have maintained or even started their family. Even the very definition of family is troubling as it can only start with a trio, the couple and a baby. Anything less than that seems unfit to be called a family, as if they are limping their way to happiness.

You know even after all this questioning I can wholeheartedly say I still don’t know exactly know what love is. Once you start questioning the imposed definitions, be it visual or literal, it easily crumbles into nothingness. It reminds me of a quote given to me through an email of good friend “A thing can only be explained by something subtler than itself and the most subtle is love. So tell me, how do you explain love?” -Summun, a 9th century Sufi wandering around Baghdad.

I do know though love needs hard daily work. Not only when those special yearly beautiful anniversaries come dropping by and we choose to celebrate it in the most romantic way but are still at each others throats the following morning. The everydayness of love is what counts, that is what needs to be maintained. From spending time together as to engage in similar experiences, to the willingness to be open to one another much like a good friend, to just simply talking while watching a thousand stars lit up like Christmas lights.  So I guess love is about friendship? Friendship but with benefits?

Friends with raunchy and of course caring benefits?

Although come to think of it, just going back a bit on nothingness before, perhaps maybe love is nothing. I understand that ‘nothing’ seems to indicate negativity but when perceived from a more objective angle is actually quite liberating. To love and be loved because of nothing dissolves expectations.

And is it not expectations that often lead us to disappointments?

One of my favourite Indonesian writer Pramoedya Ananta Toer lamented on love in his lovely book ‘Child of All Nations’. Seeing through love’s romantic ideals and grapples on the wickedness that hides beneath love he writes, “And also love, much like everything else, has a shadow. And the shadow of love is called suffering. Nothing is devoid of a shadow except light itself…”

To love is to suffer yes we all understand this but surely there is a much healthier, intelligent way to love than what we have now, as suffering is also a choice. A hard choice to let go for many, including me, but nonetheless it is a choice.

Now that’s something I can attest to.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. - Phil 4:19

In this passage, Paul was grateful for the Philippians. They took care of him when other churches did not. However, as we see here in verse 19, Paul still makes a point to let them know that even though they were helpful, God is the one to supply his needs! Remember this when it comes to

1. A SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Sometimes it seems like a text, a phone call, a kiss or a touch might just give you that satisfaction you need to go to sleep at night or start your day. Understand that while God honors marriage (Heb. 13:4), our ultimate goal is not #relationshipgoals with a significant other but Christ! Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing, and I am blessed to be celebrating 5 years with my husband later this year, but at the end of the day, we both have to know that we must seek Christ in everything we do TOGETHER! Now is the time to focus less on what someone did or didn’t do and more on what you receive in Christ.

2. A COLLEGE DEGREE
Whether you’re in high school or college, the moment you graduate is not the moment everything will suddenly shift in life. Yes, it’s a huge milestone, but trust me, there will still be mountains to climb after. That is why you have to know who you are in Christ. In the same way that you might have a list of things you’re going to do when you’re graduate, you should have a list of how you plan to grow in your faith and live more like Jesus this month, this year, and in this life. The moment you prioritize your relationship with Jesus over everything else, the more you have the opportunity to get closer and closer to God…this is by far more fulfilling than any degree or diploma hanging on the wall could ever offer!

3. A BETTER JOB
There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but remember the ultimate goal is Christ, and having the opportunity to serve him now. It doesn’t matter if you work in a retail shop or you own a chain of retail shops, through Jesus, you have the opportunity to be satisfied in Him no matter where you are.

Biblical context + further reading: Phil. 4
Written by Quite Women Co Founder itsmorganlife

Every fucking educated person, economic expert, the heads of almost every political party, the heads of state of almost every country in the world, and almost everyone else who knows what the fuck is going on has said in no uncertain terms that staying in the European Union is clearly the best, and only sane option. The entirety of Scotland voted to stay in. The entirety of Northern Ireland voted to stay in. Two of the four countries that make up the UK voted to stay in. All of London, the nations capital, voted to stay in. And yet it’s all going to be undone because of some racist fucking half word because they’re scared of immigrants, or because they don’t like David Cameron, or because they listen to the complete rubbish Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage spout. My children and grandchildren are going to suffer because of some idiots voting under stupid pretenses. Newsflash, we’ll still have immigration if we leave, at higher levels even. Immigrants who are doctors, engineers, scientists. But sure, blame them for apparently stealing our jobs. When you have 2 GCSEs and competing for something with someone with a degree, or a PhD, they’re not “stealing your job,” they deserve it more than you. I’m thoroughly disappointed by so many people letting racism and extreme nationalism win. I really have lost faith in the people of this country.

Advice for People in Their Twenties

1. Find three hobbies you love: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to be creative.

2. Getting a degree matters, but getting the right degree matters even more.

3. Leave every job you have on good terms. Do not burn your bridges.

4. See the world while you still don’t have a ton of responsibilities.

5. Don’t live on the Internet. Go out and experience real life.

6. Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.

7. Read. A lot.

8. Dress to impress.

9. Never pinch pennies on brakes or tires.

10. Never stop learning

11. Marry someone you consider your best friend.

12. All adventures in life start by just showing up.

13. Drama is never worth putting up with.

14. Value experiences over possessions.

15. Drive slow in bad weather.

16. Money comes and goes. Time just goes.

17. Don’t judge yourself on your intentions but your actions.

18. Always make new mistakes.

19. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.

20. Bite less; chew more.

—  john webber via (the-thrill)

anonymous asked:

I think oil pipes lines are important to a degree. Like if it's going to danger the environment and people then no. But if we can as safe as possible make a pipeline then go for it. Opinions?

First let’s address the fact that even if you could ensure that pipelines would not endanger the environment and people through spills, then it would still be the wrong choice. A safe pipeline is still a pipeline adding millions more barrels of production capacity to the oil industry and increasing greenhouse gases in the climate. If we have any chance of limiting climate change to 2 degrees of warming, the maximum to prevent catastrophic loss of life, then we must immediately start reducing our fossil fuel use significantly. This requires that we start right away building infrastructure for and promoting alternative energy sources and reducing our fossil fuel use and infrastructure.

For example, the Line 3 replacement which has just been approved would be a great opportunity to replace an aging pipeline with a massive investment in solar, wind, or any other technology. Instead of twinning Kinder Morgan we could do something similar. What is happening here is that the government is choosing to increase fossil fuel production rather than scale it down and transition away. This is a binary choice, and any new fossil fuel project is a commitment to the wrong direction.

That addressed, let’s respond to the idea that the pipelines being built are safe, something every government is at pains to reassure us, that these pipelines are “state-of-the-art” and that oil companies are extremely careful about monitoring them.

This is a lie.

Pipelines leak all the time (let alone the tankers that carry the oil). The companies that build these pipelines face extremely low fines when this happens, incentivizing them to respond after the fact than to protect against spills. 

If you look at the history of oil companies and specifically the two who have had their pipelines approved (Enbridge and Kinder Morgan) you’ll see that there really isn’t such a thing as a pipeline that is safe for the environment or people

Canada:

“Over the last 20 years, pipeline incidents have caused over $6.3 billion in property damages. On average during this time period there were more than 250 pipeline incidents per year, without a single year where that number dropped below 220. During that time, more than 2.5 million barrels of hazardous liquids were spilled and little more than half of those spilled amounts were recovered in cleanup efforts.”

Kinder Morgan:

On Trans Mountain: “Since Texas-based Kinder Morgan bought the line in 2005, there have been 13 oil spills totalling 5,628 barrels of crude”

“US regulators have documented over thirty significant accidents and violations in the country associated with Kinder Morgan’s operations. Kinder Morgan pipelines have exploded causing disasters and death. They have paid out millions of dollars in fines and settlements.”

“Here is a list of incidents involving Kinder Morgan’s BC operations in the past several years:July 15, 2005: About 210,000 litres of crude were released into the area surrounding the company’s Sumas Mountain storage facility in Abbotsford, making its way into Kilgard Creek.July 24, 2007: An oil spill occurred along the Kinder Morgan pipeline in Burnaby when a construction crew inadvertently hit the unmarked pipe with an excavator. Almost 250,000 litres (about 1500 barrels) of oil shot out of the ground, soaking a residential neighbourhood and seeping into the Burrard Inlet. At least 50 homes had to be evacuated. (Click to view the BC Ministry of Environment Incident Report)May 6, 2009: A sizeable spill was discovered at the company’s Burnaby Mountain tank farm, with almost 200,000 litres leaking out into the facility.January 24, 2012: A pipeline rupture at the Sumas Mountain tank farm spilled an estimated 110,000 litres of oil. Local residents reported health problems including nausea, headaches and fatigue, and schoolchildren were kept indoors for fear of airborne toxins.April 3, 2012: Another spill in a “containment area” at the Abbotsford Sumas Mountain facility caused nuisance odors and air quality concerns in surrounding communities.June 12, 2013: A leak was discovered on the Kinder Morgan pipeline near Merritt, BC.June 26, 2013: Just two weeks after the spill near Merritt, yet another leak was discovered – this time spilling 17,800 litres of oil at a site near the Coquihalla Summit, about 40 km east of Hope, BC.”

Enbridge:

“Using data from Enbridge’s own reports, the Polaris Institute calculated that 804 spills occurred on Enbridge pipelines between 1999 and 2010. These spills released approximately 161,475 barrels (25,672.5 m3) of crude oil into the environment.”

one incident among many: “2007 (November 27th) – Clearbrook, Minnesota – killed two employees. Enbridge was cited for failing to safely and adequately perform maintenance and repair activities, clear the designated work area from possible sources of ignition, and hire properly trained and qualified workers.”

“The year 2010 was a bad one for Enbridge. The total number of barrels of oil spilled was 34,122, the equivalent of more than one million U.S. gallons, including the 20,000-barrel Marshall, Mich., incident in July. Just six weeks after Marshall, another major spill occurred along the same pipeline, Line 6B, at Romeoville, Ill. In that spill, 9,000 barrels, or more than 250,000 gallons of crude, poured into the town’s industrial sector.”